31 | Stop Chasing Results: The Leadership Shift Working Women Actually Need featuring Deb Coviello

Do you feel like you're doing everything right at work—but still feel behind?

Are you running on fumes, juggling leadership goals, deadlines, and family life, yet never feeling like enough?

What if peace of mind—not more hustle—is actually the secret to sustainable success?

In this empowering episode, I’m joined by Deb Coviello, aka The Drop-In CEO—leadership consultant, author of The CEO’s Compass, and host of the globally ranked Drop-In CEO podcast. With decades of experience guiding executives through change and chaos, Deb shares a powerful new way to think about leadership, performance, and peace.

In This Episode:
✔️ Why chasing performance metrics keeps us stuck in burnout
✔️ How presence—not perfection—is the key to impactful leadership
✔️ Why peace of mind is the real success metric working moms need
✔️ How to advocate for yourself with clarity, confidence, and calm

"You don’t need to do more to be a great leader—you just need to be more present. That’s where peace and power begin." – Deb Coviello

🔗 Connect with Deb Coviello

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Transcript

Shannon:

Are you chasing results but losing yourself in the process? If you're overwhelmed by the hustle and craving something deeper, this episode is for you. Leadership expert Deb Coviello shares how to stop striving, start leading, and finally feel peace of mind without dropping the ball at work or at home. Grab your coffee, pop in your earbuds, and let's shift the way you lead, starting now.

Intro:

Hey mama, welcome to Career Growth for Working Moms. If you're stuck in a job that doesn't fit or burning out trying to do it all, you're in the right place. I'm Shannon, a career coach and fellow working mom. Here you'll get simple career strategies and strength-based leadership tips to help you grow with clarity and confidence. So grab your coffee or reheat it for the third time and let's do this.

Shannon:

Hello and welcome. I'm so excited to have Deb Coviello with me today. Deb is known as the drop-in CEO, a leadership consultant, speaker, and author with a powerful mission to help leaders stop chasing results and start pursuing peace of mind. She's the author of The CEO's Compass and The New CEO Playbook, host of the globally ranked Drop-In CEO podcast, and a trusted advisor to executives looking to lead with clarity, calm, and purpose, especially during times of crisis or chaos.

Deb, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here with us today.

Deb Coviello:

Shannon, I'm delighted as well. I just really appreciate the opportunity to share some of my insights and stories with you and your audience.

Shannon:

Yes, so you have a message of “stop chasing results and start pursuing peace of mind” that really hits home, especially for our target audience of these working moms. So what inspired that shift in your own journey?

Deb:

Yeah, thank you for that. So the story was, again, I was in a corporate role. I love corporate – they afford you a lot of opportunities and a lot of headaches. My region, my area of responsibility, was actually a little bit in trouble. I had to put out a presentation and tell my global colleagues what I was going to do to get particular results.

Yes, you can do point A, point B, project C, project Z – that's what everybody else does. But I said, you know, something’s got to change. I had to change my mindset. I realized I needed a different leadership style to unleash the potential of my team and help them get to a place of struggling less, having more balance. Ultimately, we would get the results – not just results, but sustainable results and peace of mind.

I went to this meeting, delivered the presentation. I was so proud of it because I had these new insights. My leadership said, “That was very nice, Deb, but you didn't spend enough time focusing on the results you were going to get.” But my colleagues said, “Deb, we really love what you said. We need more leaders like you that think about the bigger picture, achieving peace of mind by unleashing the potential of your team.”

It became clear to me I no longer fit in that environment. When we close the gaps in people's confidence and capability, they achieve amazing results sustainably. We as moms can step back and be confident that we’ve done our job, and that's peace of mind – whether in the workplace or raising a family.

Shannon:

Yes, I love that peace of mind. So I assume that would be one of the big mindset mistakes you hear from women you work with?

Deb:

Yeah. It's the way we're celebrated and trained. We get good grades in school – atta girl. We do well at work, we get raises or job opportunities. We're rewarded for getting a particular result, a sale, a purchase order, or reducing time and money on a project. That’s how we’re rewarded, and how we get bonuses and merit increases.

But they don't teach us to slow down and build a strategy for sustainable peace of mind. That’s where I realized – like the ladies in your community – I was in a rat race, working hard, working long. And by the way, got to have food on the table, coordinate with the babysitter and partner, make sure it all works. It’s a rat race.

With time and maturity, I realized I needed to slow down a bit and ask: what are the best things we can do for our people and family to achieve peace of mind? It takes a while. Don’t feel bad if you aren't there yet. Just know there is a different way, a different mindset, that you can adopt and slowly get to a closer sense of calm and peace.

Shannon:

We have a lot of working moms who are feeling exactly what you described – burnout and overwhelm. What steps can they take now to reclaim that clarity and direction they’re wanting?

Deb:

A little bit is taking time for yourself – just a little pause. If the kids go to a baseball game with a relative, maybe don’t try to fit in that extra load of laundry or food prep. I know it’s hard, but ask: what can I do with these two hours? Is there a podcast I can listen to? Can I take inventory of everything I’m doing and not doing, and see what’s really important?

Maybe the kids fold their own laundry. Maybe you don’t need to do everything. And you know, “I’d really like to get in three walks a week just to clear my mind.” It really starts with you building almost your own business at home – what can I pull away to gain a little time?

And can I spend 30 minutes a week, just 30 minutes, to invest in myself – an educational course, renewing a certification, taking an effective online speaking webinar? Nobody else will invest in you; you have to be disciplined enough to parse out 30 minutes or an hour a week. It’s hard, but six months from now, you’ll look back and see, “I actually took three courses and I’m certified as an effective communicator.” You’ll be so proud of yourself.

Shannon:

Yes, take the time to invest in yourself and do it without guilt. That’s so hard, but six months down the road, you may look back and be so proud.

Deb:

Yes. We as women have to pat ourselves on the back. We do try to do it all. Whoever your partner is is also trying to do what’s best for the family and career. But can we just be kind and gracious to ourselves a little bit? Maybe the laundry sits there for three days.

At the end of the day, our kids will remember if we spent time with them. They’ll be proud of those moments, not that we didn’t fold laundry as soon as it came out.

Shannon:

Exactly. So you’ve worked with a lot of leaders. Have you noticed something that separates the high performers from those struggling to thrive?

Deb:

High performers know what they really need to do and what they can let slide. That is so hard. We want to be on top of everything, get meeting minutes out, go the extra mile. But at the end of the day, if you stop doing a couple things, will people notice?

Stop aiming for perfection. Have a good message when you show up to the meeting versus aiming for perfection in every detail. Perfection won’t get you ahead; collaboration will. Help facilitate conversation. As women, we’re good at that. Shift your energy to collaboration – to get the team to perfection, not putting all the weight on yourself.

Shannon:

I love that. We don’t have to do it all; that’s why we have a team.

Deb:

Exactly. Depending on our generation or how we were praised as being responsible and achieving, we feel we have to keep up the image of having it all. But I had a wake-up call once. I asked a friend for honest feedback. She said, “You look really busy, but you’re not present.” That took me back. I was physically there, but my brain was a mile a minute.

It shifted my energy – where do I need to spend time: business, career, laundry, or these friendships? When the kids get older, maybe go away to school, all we have left is family, friends, and community. Maybe invest in that now so when you look around the room, you have people who’ve got your back.

Shannon:

Yes. 

So what about listeners who feel lost, who haven’t gotten a promotion or raise?

Deb:

Don’t do it alone. Find a trusted colleague, even if not in your department – someone objective, who sees you for who you are. For me, it was someone in HR. She talked to me about “presence.” I thought presence was a new hairstyle or expensive wardrobe. She said, “Presence is knowing what you stand for. When you show up, people know what you’re the champion of.”

That was the best advice. Find someone to shine a light on your gifts and give honest feedback on how to enhance your communication, presence, or self-advocacy. Or get a coach. Contact Shannon, contact me. You’re not broken – little tweaks can build confidence and help you ask for what you want.

Shannon:

Yes, teachers see strengths in our kids we don’t always see. Same for colleagues – they see us in our work environment. Great advice. 

Where can listeners connect with you?

Deb:

First, Shannon, thank you for this conversation. 

I love your work serving high-performing moms. They don’t have to do it alone – this podcast is a great place. 

To reach me, go to dropinceo.com. You’ll find my podcast, free chapter of my book, or just connect with me for a conversation.

Shannon:

Thank you. I’ll add that to the show notes. 

I love to leave listeners with one action step. What’s one belief about leadership or success you want every working mom to rewrite?

Deb:

Do not fear failure. When you advocate for yourself, err on the side that you might actually succeed. 80% of the time when I explained what I wanted, why I wanted it, and the value I provide, I got what I wanted. Think about the opportunity and possibility of success rather than failure.

Shannon:

I love that. Thank you so much, Deb, for being here today.

Deb:

Thank you so much.

Outro:

Hey, working mama. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share it with a friend who’s stuck in her career but doesn’t want to sacrifice her family to grow? Also, please leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts. It seriously lights me up to know this show is helping you navigate burnout, find clarity, and lead with confidence.

All right, time to shut down my laptop and pretend I’m not hiding from folding that laundry. I’ll meet you back here soon for another episode of Career Growth for Working Moms.

You’ve got this.