The Create Your Day Podcast

88. The Secret to Achieving Success Without Sacrifice

• Jenn • Episode 88

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Today’s discussion revolves around the themes of balance and well-being in the pursuit of success. Jenn Cody leads us to question our relationship with hustle culture and how we can reframe our approach to work and life.

• The glorification of busyness and its implications for well-being 
• The importance of assessing where we invest our time and energy 
• Key questions to identify if our activities add value or are merely busy work 
• Strategies for realigning priorities and setting meaningful boundaries 
• The significance of self-care in sustainable success 
• Encouragement to take small shifts toward greater fulfillment 

If you are feeling overwhelmed and in need of balance, connect with us at jencody.com for more insights and to subscribe to our weekly insights.


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Jenn Cody:

Hey everyone, welcome to the Create your Day podcast. I'm your host, jen Cody. Thanks for being here. So here on the Create your Day podcast, we get really into some strategies, some stories, some tools that may be helpful for you to help create your day, help create your life, help create balance and purpose and success in your life, and we talk about all these things that I just love to share with you guys, and I actually, a couple of months ago, put an episode out that was called Are you Building a Life or Are you Building a Prison, and it has been by far the most downloaded episode ever in my years of recording.

Jenn Cody:

So I want to continue that topic a little bit today. It definitely seems like it hit close to home for so many of us, and it's a good question, right? Are you creating success at the expense of your well-being? Is all of the work that you're doing helping you to create your day, helping you to create your life, or is it actually helping to create these like prison bars around you so that you're not able to function and be yourself? And if that is what's happening, how can we make that stop? This is a big, big topic in the world right now, because the worlds that we live in glorifies this. I'm so busy that makes me special. I'm so busy that makes me better. We glorify hustle culture, where we think that if we can only work harder, if we can only work longer, if we can only work faster, that's the only way for us to get to our end goal. It's the only way for us to actually get where we need to be in the time that we want it to take. But what do we do when all of that hustling actually starts to take a toll on us? That drive for achievement and that drive to be accomplished feels good in the moment sometimes, but eventually it can really start to take a toll on our mental health, our emotional health, even our physical health.

Jenn Cody:

So I had spoken a few weeks ago about the audit that we can do and I want to kind of expand on that today. I want to help you assess where are you out of alignment and how do you reclaim your well-being. How do you do that without actually sacrificing what it is that you're trying to accomplish? Because that's the problem, right? We see it as an all or nothing game. We think that if we're working towards something and it's difficult that that must just mean we have to work harder where we need to just work faster, we need to be better, instead of thinking well, wait a second, maybe I need to reframe how I'm approaching this. That doesn't mean I'm going to give up on what I'm working towards or sacrifice those goals. It just means that I'm going to approach it a little bit differently, in a way that is going to help me be the best me that I can be on the other side of this. So grab a drink, grab a notebook and let's get into it, because I really want you guys to walk away from this episode feeling empowered and like you have what you need, the tools that you need to make these changes.

Jenn Cody:

So I want to start by actually addressing the elephant in the room, and that is why do so many of us equate success and fulfillment with being overworked. This is not new. I think a lot of it comes from when we were kids at least, for me it does. I can remember growing up and feeling like I always needed to be doing something Otherwise. It was looked at as lazy, and I always felt that if I was sitting down and relaxing, that I probably was not doing something else that needed to be done, and I don't know why. That's why so many of us you know how so many of us operate, but it absolutely is there.

Jenn Cody:

I've spoken to thousands and thousands of people and they've told me and I'm certainly in touch with this as well that you know, if they're sitting down and relaxing or reading a book or watching TV, and somebody comes home, do you jump up out of your chair and start acting like you were doing something. Why do we do that? Why, you know. Why do we think that it's a bad thing to be taking care of ourselves? And for a lot of us, it's really. You know just how we were brought up or what we've seen in society.

Jenn Cody:

We've been taught that success requires sacrifice, and it absolutely does. Absolutely, there will be sacrifices along the way, and that can be sacrificing, you know, sleep, sacrificing one thing for another, but it should not mean sacrificing our health, sacrificing our relationships, sacrificing our well-being. It just should not be that way. So, while hard work is definitely important, there's a really fine line between being driven and being drained, and that line is becoming more and more blurred as we move forward in the world right now. And here's the thing success achieved at the expense of your well-being. It's not sustainable. So I'm going to tell you right now if you are in that camp and you feel like you are just going, going, going, going all the time, you are not going to be able to get to the end game, the end goal, and feel good about yourself.

Jenn Cody:

What are you losing along the way? Like, you may hit the goals that you're after, but at what cost? There's burnout, there's chronic stress. Really, health issues are on the rise as a price that we're paying when we ignore the warning signs. We think, you know, we're just tired because we have too much going on, or those headaches that we have are because we were looking at the computer too long. You know, there's so many different things that are affecting our health that we don't even realize it. And then let's not forget the emotional part, right? Because the emotional toll is where we feel disconnected from the people we love. We are losing joy in the process of our every day and we're constantly chasing that next thing, where's the next shiny object that I need to go run after, without ever actually feeling fulfilled.

Jenn Cody:

So if all of this is hitting you and you're saying like, oh, wow, that sounds like me. You are absolutely not alone, and there's actually good news. This does not have to be the way that you live. This does not have to stay as part of your everyday. So we've identified the problem right. We already know the problem is hustling and overworking and feeling. It's not just the action of doing it, it's actually that mindset of thinking that that's the way that. That's the way for us to actually get where we want to go, and there's a solution to that. So I'm going to walk you through a different process this time, and this is a three-step process that's going to help you evaluate where you're kind of out of balance, where are things not in alignment for you and what are the actions that you can take to get yourself back into alignment, because that's where we want to be, that's where things feel like we're in flow. Right, last week we talked about friction versus flow. When things are in alignment, we feel like we're in flow, and it's really hard to have a bad impact on our mental and emotional health when we are living in alignment and in flow.

Jenn Cody:

So the first thing I want you to do is take a good hard look at what you are putting into your life, your time, your energy, your focus. Where Is your time going? What are the commitments that you have? What are the activities that you feel are draining your energy? And then think about the things that truly matter to you and ask yourself are you prioritizing them? Are you actually prioritizing what truly matters or are you just reacting to the external pressure and just doing what you think should be done?

Jenn Cody:

Because this first step is about getting super honest. If we can't be honest with ourselves, we're never going to make change. So the first step is get honest and ask yourself, like, if you're spending 12 hours a day working but neglecting your relationships, that's a red flag. So write down everything that you're currently investing your time in, your energy into, and be brutally honest. If you want there to be some change at the end of this, you have to be honest with yourself and then, once you've assessed that, once you actually have looked at where you're putting your time and your energy, let's evaluate what's the return on that investment. For each activity that you wrote down that's draining, you ask yourself is this activity bringing me closer to my goals? Actually, I'm going to give you a few things to ask yourself so you can write them down. What's the first thing? Is this bringing you closer to your goals? Does this add value to your life, or is it just busy work and I'm going to come back to that in a second. And then, how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel energized or does it make you just feel freaking, exhausted? Everything that you are putting your time and energy into this is what you're going to ask yourself Closer to your goals, yes or no? Add value to your life or just busy work, or is it making you feel energized or exhausted? So I want to go back for a second to the adding value versus just being busy work. I know that when you are trying, when we I'm not going to say you, because I'm part of this equation too when we are trying to accomplish something really important to us, so that can be.

Jenn Cody:

I recently not too recently, about six months ago I moved and when I had to gather up everything in my house, like that was something I needed to accomplish, I knew I needed to do it. There was no way around it, right, I had to actually pack up all of my things and move from point A to point B. So there was no getting around it. But I found myself once in a while spending some time kind of like measuring things, seeing where I was going to put things, drawing out things on paper, like, can I do this, can I do that? That's just busy work. That's me avoiding what actually had to be done. We do the same thing in work. Right, if you're trying to build a business, if you're trying to finish a project, are you actually doing the things that are going to bring you to the end result, or are you doing things to keep busy, so that you feel like you're being active but you're not actually getting anywhere?

Jenn Cody:

And this step asking yourself those questions is how you identify what is truly worth your time and what's not. So think about it. How many things did you write down that are bringing you closer to your goals, how many things are actually adding value to your life, and how many of those things make you feel energized? I'm going to guess right now that chances are. If you had two columns things that make you feel good, things that make you feel drained. The ones that are making you feel good are probably doing all three. They're bringing you closer to your goals, they're adding value to your life and they're making you energized. The things that you're doing that make you feel drained are probably busy work right, because that's what makes us feel exhausted. That's the hamster wheel, and it's the hamster wheel of life. We all are on it at one time or another. But once we identify what is truly worth our time and what's not, then we can realize what are some of the things that we're putting our energy into that aren't moving the needle, that aren't actually getting us closer to where we're going. Those are the things that are costing us more than they're giving us that we're not getting a return on investment there.

Jenn Cody:

The busy work that we do. It might make us feel like we've been active all day. It's one of those. It's a talking point for how busy we are air quotes, a talking point for the burnout. Oh, I'm so burned out. I have so much going on. I have so much to do this week. Yeah, we all have things to do. How many of those things do we need to do? Or how many of them are just adding to our being busy? What are the return on investment that you're getting on the things that we're spending our time on? And then, once we know that information because we were really honest right when we made this list. We were really really honest. So then we can realign our priorities based on this discovery.

Jenn Cody:

So what does that mean? How do we realign our priorities? Well, that is going to require setting boundaries around our time right, like can we set boundaries that? You know, if eating dinner every night with your family is really really energizing to you and that connection is what drives you, then that has to be a boundary for you. What drives you, then that has to be a boundary for you. You need to have a hard boundary, like I am not going to be focused on other things during this hour. I am going to be present with my family, and you know what.

Jenn Cody:

We all have different work hours. We all have different jobs that we have to do, and sometimes people work shift work, where maybe you go into work at four o'clock in the afternoon or you're working overnight and your schedule is not conducive to having dinner every night. That doesn't mean you can't set a boundary around a different hour for you to connect. We have in our power the way to make these things work for us, and sometimes we have to be creative about it.

Jenn Cody:

What can we delegate. What can we eliminate? Never mind delegate, but what are the things that aren't serving us that we can move off of our plate in one way or another? Some of them can be eliminated entirely, and if they can't, can they be delegated entirely? And if they can't, can they be delegated? And then we also want to carve out some time for our self-care, for our relationships, for the hobbies that make us happy. And that doesn't mean that you have to go away for a week to a yoga retreat although that would be fun, and I do have a retreat every year that you're welcome to come to but sometimes carving out time for self-care can look like reading for 10 minutes before you close welcome to come to. But sometimes carving out time for self-care can look like reading for 10 minutes before you close your eyes at night, because that's something that brings you joy.

Jenn Cody:

Instead of taking a shower tomorrow night, take a bath and light a candle. It doesn't have to be three hours long, let it be 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Carve out time for your relationships. If you don't have time for a long date, night of dinner and a movie or a day out in the city, make a coffee date. Sit down and have 15, 20 minutes of connection during the times that you can.

Jenn Cody:

Prioritizing your presence in those moments will make a difference, because success is not just about what we achieve. It literally is about how we feel while we are achieving it. I don't know too many people that would call themselves fulfilled, who are miserable while they're successful. That fulfillment comes with feeling happy and satisfied and peaceful about how we achieve our success. So realigning those priorities can be definitely a little uncomfortable, especially if you're used to saying yes to everything, which I know many of us are yes people. That's a whole other episode, but trust me, I promise the long-term benefits of reprioritizing really are worth it.

Jenn Cody:

So I'm going to give you a quick example of how this works in real life, because I myself have spent the past few years building my business right and there was a time that I found myself constantly exhausted and extremely irritable and that's not me. I don't feel comfortable in that skin. I felt like I wasn't myself. But I also felt like this was a necessary part of my journey. I always felt like I was on and I always had to be on and I just I never felt good. I never felt like, even if things were going really well and you know, the podcast was doing great and people were coming to my retreats and I had tons of coaching clients and business was going really, really, really well. I still felt super burnt out and not like myself.

Jenn Cody:

So I spent some time doing this process and realized that there were so many hours every week that I was spending my time on that. I could either eliminate or delegate, and I actually, at one point, just for a short time, I had someone come in and help me to get some things off my plate and it really made all the difference. I was honestly like sleeping better, knowing that I didn't have to do everything by myself. I noticed that I never was off. I was just on all the time. If something came through in my email at 10 o'clock at night or at five o'clock in the morning, I was responding to it, and it's just not a sustainable way to survive. So I really spent some time reassessing where I put my time, where I put my energy, and started blocking off time on my calendar for things that I want to do, and I am a huge proponent for using your calendar for everything that you want to accomplish. I'm going to put in the show notes a link to the time management course that I have. If you have not taken it, it really makes a huge difference. So absolutely take advantage of it and within a few weeks I noticed oh okay, now I'm feeling a little more energized and I'm actually more productive. I showed up differently for my family, I showed up differently for my business and it felt sustainable. It feels sustainable.

Jenn Cody:

So what I would love for you guys to do this week is take about 20, 30 minutes and go through this, write down where are you putting your energy and then evaluate what's the return on investment. Are there things that you can do to realign? What can you delegate, what can you eliminate? And this does not have to be a massive overhaul. Small shifts lead to big results. It's just about being consistent, and consistency will change your life. I promise you that Consistency will change your life. So that's all I have for you this week. I would love for you to let me know if you implement this. Let me know how it's going. Shoot me an email, jenn J-E-N-N at jenncodycom, and if you're not on my email list, head on over to jencodycom.

Jenn Cody:

Backslash weekly hyphen balance. Get a weekly dose of balance for yourself and I want to hear from you. I want to know what's working, what's not working, what do you need help with? So I hope that this gives you a little bit of a fresh perspective. How can you create fulfillment in your life, how can you create success in your life without sacrificing your well-being, because you absolutely do not have to choose between achieving your goals and taking care of yourself. I hope you found this episode helpful. As always, I want you to take this information. Go out there, create your day in the best way possible.

Jenn Cody:

If you know someone that would benefit from the information on the podcast, share it with them. Help us to reach way possible. If you know someone that would benefit from the information on the podcast, share it with them. Help us to reach more people. If you can take a moment to leave a rating, leave a review, let us know what you think. The more people we can reach, the more people we can help, and that's why we're here right. Until next time, have a great week, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and I will see you next time on the Create your Day podcast. Thanks so much, everyone.