The Create Your Day Podcast
You didn’t work this hard just to feel stuck, exhausted, or disconnected from your own life. Create Your Day is where high achieving, heart driven women come to get real about what it takes to actually feel good while building success. Hosted by Jenn Cody, your no-fluff, no-apologies bestie in your earbuds, this show dives deep into the mindset shifts, emotional wake-up calls, and small (but mighty) moves that lead to real alignment, real confidence, and a life you actually want to wake up to. If you're done with perfectionism, overthinking, and waiting for "someday," you're in the right place. Listen in for tough love, practical tools, personal stories, and a-ha moments that will leave you thinking, "Wait, why has no one ever told me this before?!" Ready to create your day (and your life) on your terms? Let’s go!
The Create Your Day Podcast
94. Moving Through Fear: Taking Action When You're Paralyzed
That familiar tightness in your chest, the flood of worst-case scenarios, the overwhelm that hits precisely when you're contemplating a bold move—we've all been there. But what if the fear that's keeping you stuck isn't actually a warning to stop, but a signpost pointing toward what matters most?
In this powerful exploration of fear and action, I unpack why we often misinterpret fear as a red light when it's actually more like a blinking yellow—a signal that something important lies ahead. Your nervous system is simply doing its job by alerting you to unfamiliar territory. This fear doesn't mean you're not ready; paradoxically, it often means exactly the opposite.
I break down three insidious lies your brain tells you when you're scared: that you need confidence before action (when confidence actually comes from action), that making changes means losing everything you've worked for (when alignment often leads to greater productivity), and that other people are simply braver than you (when they're merely more practiced at moving through fear). These myths keep high achievers stuck in patterns that drain their energy without moving them forward.
The heart of this episode offers three practical tools you can implement immediately: the 90-Day Rule to filter what truly deserves your attention, Tiny Brave Moves to build momentum without overwhelming yourself, and Reverse Visualization to light a fire under you when fear feels paralyzing. These aren't theoretical concepts—they're battle-tested strategies for building the courage muscle over time.
Your balance requires your boldness. It's not about being reckless or hustling harder—it's about trusting yourself enough to take action despite the butterflies. What brave move are you avoiding? Share it with me on Instagram or email me at jenn@jenncody.com—I'd love to celebrate your courage and hear how you feel on the other side of that action!
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Hi there, welcome back to the Create your Day podcast. My name is Jen Cody and I am your host. Welcome to this week's episode. I'm so happy you're here and I am your host. Welcome to this week's episode. I'm so happy you're here. I hope you have a few minutes to focus, invest in yourself and just spend some time building balance, because balance is what we're all here for. It is not something that we just talk about, but it's something that we actually build.
Speaker 1:And what we're talking about this week is actually something that is keeping way too many people stuck, and that is the fear that takes hold when we are about to take action. And I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the feeling, right the one where your chest gets a little bit tight. Your brain starts throwing out every worst case scenario you can think of. Your to-do list becomes overwhelmingly like. At that moment it's you can think of. Your to-do list becomes overwhelmingly like. At that moment it's you can't even imagine adding another thing to your to-do list. And this all happens right at the exact moment that you're usually thinking about what is some brave move that I need to do, what is something bold that I have been meaning to do and haven't actually taken action on. So, yep, that's what we're going to talk about today, and what I really want to go over with you today is why that fear is not the enemy, even though sometimes it really feels like it is. Instead, it's this mindset trap that keeps us kind of paralyzed, and I want to work on a few tools that I'll share with you that are going to help you move through this fear, because what happens to a lot of us is that we wait for the fear to disappear, and that sometimes will never happen. Granted, there may be times that it does, but for many people, that fear is never going to go away. So what we need to do is figure out how do we move through it, how do we move past it, and that's what I want to dive into with you today. So let's start with chatting about.
Speaker 1:Fear is not a stop sign, so this is not a sign that you're not ready, and that's what happens. We see fear, or we feel the fear instead of seeing it right, and this is where the perfectionist in us gets a little pissed off, because we see that fear as a stop sign and we think, oh, wait a minute, this is a sign that I should not keep moving forward, and that's actually not true. Usually, the fear is more likely a sign that you are ready to move forward. We're conditioned to think that fear is this red light, but sometimes, if we can reframe that and think of it as like a blinking yellow light, something that is just a heads up, that right ahead of us is something that matters, the fear means our nervous system is doing its job. Your nervous system is saying wait a minute, something feels different here, something feels like we haven't gone in this direction before, and oftentimes it's saying what if something goes wrong? What if I do the wrong thing? What if I make a wrong move?
Speaker 1:So, of course, fear shows up, and when you're about to step out of the familiar and into the unknown, it's normal for that fear to show up. The key, like I said, is remembering that it is not a stop sign, because our brain oh my goodness, your brain loves familiarity, she loves control. She would very much prefer if we could just keep doing what we've always done but somehow get new results. And we all know that that's not possible, because balance, confidence, freedom, all of those things are living outside of our comfort zone. So the next time fear shows up, instead of interpreting it as don't do it or hold still, don't move, what if you ask yourself, what if this fear is pointing to something important? Think about that. What are the things that that fear may be, blinking that yellow light, trying to show you what's coming up ahead that actually matters, that we need to pay attention to? So I want to call out a few lies that your brain loves to tell you when you're scared. The first one is I just need to feel more confident first. This is a lie. Confidence does not come before the action. Confidence is the result. It's not a prerequisite. It comes from action, not before.
Speaker 1:Think about the first time you did something. You were nervous about something that everybody's done, or maybe not everybody, but think about maybe the first time you drove a car. It could be really scary, it could be terrifying, but now it's muscle memory right. You get behind the wheel, you drive. You don't even think about it. Why is that the case? Because you kept showing up.
Speaker 1:I can remember my son back in 2017, when he was getting his license. Back in 2017, when he was getting his license, he was very, very nervous and he was a great driver, but he came home one day and he told me that when he passed his road test, his plan was to not drive at all for the first six months. Now, here in New York, that first six months is considered a probationary period. It just means that I don't know what it means actually, but I guess if you get pulled over or get a ticket during that time, maybe there's heavier consequences. You're in this probationary period. So his decision was to avoid any risk during that probation period and I was like no, no, no. You need to actually move past this fear and push yourself to do the thing that you're scared of so that you realize on the other side of it, your confidence is going to start building. So the day that he passed his road test, he called me and he was like I passed, I'm good. I said great, you're picking your sister up from school today, and I gave him the keys and sent him off into the world.
Speaker 1:We need to do that when things are scary. We need to do that when we're afraid that making the wrong move is going to have terrible repercussions. We can't just hold still in those moments, because that's when we lose out on what's potentially there waiting for us. That's when we lose out on what's potentially there waiting for us. So the next lie that our brains are telling us is this if I slow down or make a change, I will lose everything that I've worked for to this point. Now let's unpack that for a minute, because that right, there is guilt, and that is guilt that comes from hustle. Right, it comes from that hustle culture, that culture that told us that peace equals laziness, that somehow looking for alignment means that we're not grateful for what we have already. Those are not true statements.
Speaker 1:And those people out there that are listening right now you high achieving people. You tend to believe that if you're not overwhelmed, you're not working hard enough, and so when you think about slowing down or making a change, you feel like you're going to lose that momentum, you're going to lose everything that you've worked for and you'll have nothing to show for it. But here's where I want you to reframe. You do not need to suffer to earn your success. Think about what it feels like when you are working towards something that you love, when you're working towards something that feels really in alignment for you. Think about the last time that you can remember feeling that really fluid state, that state of flow where everything feels easy, it doesn't feel like there's a lot of resistance, it's not an uphill battle. Whatever it is that you're working for, it feels like it's the next right thing to do. Do you feel overwhelmed in those moments? No, you feel in flow. You feel that you're in the right place at the right time, and those are the times where we get the most done. Those are the times where we walk away from a you know brainstorming session that feels like five minutes and realize we've just spent hours on doing like dumping out everything that's been in our brains. So I want you to think about how that goes against the very idea that slowing down and making a change means that you'll lose what you've worked for. How that flow state goes against the idea that peace equals laziness or seeking alignment means that you're ungrateful. You do not need to be overwhelmed to be working hard. Sometimes the greatest moments of hard work feel super easy, and that's what we want to be working for. You do not need to suffer to earn fulfillment, to earn your success.
Speaker 1:And what's the third lie? The third one is that other people are just braver than I am, and this one can be a little bit sneaky, because we are all scrolling on Instagram. We are all seeing other people pivoting, saying no to things, setting boundaries, and it looks effortless, it looks easy, it looks like they are just living their best life, but I promise you it is not. They are practiced, not fearless. Write that down, because that is the goal that you are looking for. You don't need to be fearless. You need to be practiced, just practiced.
Speaker 1:So instead of asking yourself why am I so scared? What if you asked yourself what would I do if I knew this fear was a normal part of the process? Then what Would you stop? Would you just say other people must be braver? Would you just say, if I pivot, I'm going to lose everything? Of course not. You would figure out how to move through this fear because it's a normal part of the process and that's really a great place to be normal part of the process and that's really a great place to be Understanding that. Oh, this fear is just signaling that there's something important going on. It's signaling that something matters to me and I need to pay attention right now. That's where you want to be. So how do we make this all happen?
Speaker 1:Right at the beginning of this episode, I told you I was going to take you through three tools that are going to help you take action through fear, and this is the part that I want you to really use. Right, this is the part that is the action. What are the things you can take away from this episode? Well, here are three tools that are going to help you to take brave action, to take bold action, because we know where does our balance lie, where do we find balance? Where do we build balance? Balance is built out of bold and brave action.
Speaker 1:Even when your voice is shaking, even when your stomach is flipping around, doing backflips and those butterflies are going crazy, even when you feel like that, nauseous and anxiety, those are the moments that you want to move through the fear. So the first tool I'm going to share with you is the 90 day rule. So I want you to ask yourself, whatever it is that's causing the fear, whatever it is that is giving you pause, that you're frozen. Will it matter 90 days from now? The reason for asking that question is it really helps you to zoom out. It helps you see that most of the things that we're obsessing over, they're not going to matter in three months. And if they do matter, that is your signal to move through the fear. So the 90 day rule is important, because it's not in place to give you the tools you need to move through the fear. We're going to get to that in a second.
Speaker 1:This is like the filter that you want to put these moves through. If you're faced with a move that is giving you fear, that's giving you paralyzing moments of doubt, this is the filter to put it through, because it's going to help you recognize can I just move on from this or do I actually need to move through the fear? So, if it matters 90 days from now, yes, hell yes, you need to move through that fear. If it won't matter 90 days from now, can you just let it go? Can you not focus on it? Can you leave it behind? And leaving things behind is probably a whole other episode that we need to get into, because that is a quality that I want you to be building as well, like when we talk about resilience. That is where resilience lies when we're able to leave things behind that don't matter and recognize that. Here's the filter that you can use to actually figure that out. The 90 day rule. Okay.
Speaker 1:The second tool are tiny brave moves or tiny bold moves, and the reason I say tiny is because I want you to stop waiting for the big dramatic life overhaul, because when we are scared, when we're sitting in fear, when we're sitting in a place that feels paralyzing, what we feel is that there's this big dramatic life overhaul that we need to do, or this big dramatic work overhaul, career overhaul, relationship overhaul. What is the big dramatic overhaul that you're avoiding Doesn't matter. That's not what we're working on. We want to start with one micro move, one little tiny, brave and bold move. So what could that potentially look like? This is saying no to someone without over explaining. You know we talk a lot about setting boundaries and saying no when we want to, and a lot of people, when they start that process, they do it. They say no, but they say no and then follow it up with a paragraph explaining why they're saying no, excusing themselves from saying no, excusing themselves for disrupting the other person that they're saying no to or causing some discomfort for that person. So a tiny bold move would be can you say no to something today without over explaining? Bold move would be can you say no to something today, without over explaining. You don't have to do that. You are allowed to say no.
Speaker 1:Another tiny, bold move would be to schedule the call with someone. Schedule the conversation with someone that you've been putting off. What is something that you know is important, but there's a little bit of fear, keeping you paralyzed and you're not moving forward. What is that conversation about? Schedule it. You don't have to have it today, you just have to schedule it. And I promise you're going to feel relief when you schedule it. You really will, because it's almost like that comparison of going to the gym where they say, like the hardest part is putting on your sneakers. This is the same thing. Scheduling that call is going to open up a part of your brain that has been locked down, and when that part of your brain lights up, you're going to have a boost of confidence. I promise you this, even before the conversation happens. Scheduling it is going to give you a boost of confidence.
Speaker 1:And then, what's another tiny move that you can make? How about taking one hour out of your life to work towards something you've been putting off, so you don't have to set aside a day? You don't have to set aside a day. You don't have to go on a retreat for a weekend. Just set aside an hour. What's something you have been putting off? This could be anything, guys. Right, this doesn't have to be a huge life overhaul. Maybe it's something that you've been trying to accomplish at work, maybe it's something you've been trying to get your new business off the ground, and maybe it's something as simple as cleaning your kitchen cabinets. But taking one hour to work towards that maybe the kitchen cabinets isn't such a great idea, Because if you're afraid, if that's bringing up fear, then we need to talk a little bit more about what's going on in your kitchen cabinets. But taking one hour to work on something you've been kind of paralyzed around and you've been putting off is going to give you that boost of confidence. Here's the thing Bravery is not loud, bravery is consistent. So let's go back to how do we find tap into that bravery? It really is through tiny, bold and brave moves. It just builds that muscle and builds that muscle.
Speaker 1:And then the third tool I want to share with you is something called reverse visualization. So you all know I love a vision board. I do them on my retreats every single year. One of my favorite things about vision boards is when people come to the retreats and they actually bring their past vision boards or send me pictures of the past vision boards year after year, just seeing how they have brought things into their life Amazing. I'm a huge vision board fan and, what's even more powerful, visualizing what happens if nothing changes. So this is a really powerful exercise. We spend plenty of time talking about okay, we want to bring these things into our lives, we want to create change, we want to really experience things in a different way, so we sit down, we make the vision board, we make the plan, we put it on the calendar, we create the action steps all around that Great.
Speaker 1:Have you ever stopped, though, and, instead of doing that, allowed yourself to sit and visualize what happens if you do nothing? What happens if you don't set the boundary? What happens if you keep putting yourself last? What happens if you are in the same exact place that you are today, this time next year? How does that feel? Because sometimes that lights the fire faster than anything else. So, if you feel like your fear is really gripping you and it's uncomfortable enough that you are not able to move forward, this is a great exercise to light that fire. Because let me tell you, if you're uncomfortable where you are today, how much does it suck to imagine being there 365 days from now because you chose to do nothing? And let's get that straight Sitting still is a choice. So don't wake up a year from now in the same place and say I just didn't know what to do, I just didn't know what direction to go in. Going in no direction is a choice, and when you choose that, there are consequences, and those consequences is that you will be in the same exact place or worse. Maybe you'll be in a worse place by doing nothing. So, for those of you who are doing all the things and still finding it really difficult to move through that fear, use this reverse visualization Super powerful.
Speaker 1:So what is the thing that you've been avoiding? What is the decision that you keep spinning on? What is the move that you want to make? But you just don't have the freaking guts to say it out loud. I want to give you that permission. You are allowed to be scared. You are allowed to move anyway.
Speaker 1:That fear is not the stop sign. Your balance requires your boldness. Your balance requires your bravery. It's not about being reckless, it's not about hustling. It's just about being brave enough to say I'm allowed to want more and I trust myself enough to go get it. I trust myself enough to go get it. Do you trust yourself enough to go get it?
Speaker 1:If you don't, there's work to do to make that your reality. I promise you can get there, and if you're ready to actually do that work, let's talk. We can do that work in a structured, supportive way. It does not have to be overwhelming. So I want you to check out the show notes for this episode so you can really write down those three tools. You can practice them and, like I said, become practiced in being brave. All of this is something you build. Balance, bravery, boldness, those are things that you build, not things you find.
Speaker 1:So thank you again for hanging out with me today. I want you to go do one brave thing today, just one. Can you do it? I know you can Share it with me. Send me a DM on Instagram. Send me an email, jen, at jencodycom.
Speaker 1:I want to hear from you. I want to know what is the brave thing that you are committing to doing and what I would love to know even more. How do you feel on the other side of it. That's where the magic happens. So until next time, go out there, create your day in the best way possible. Thank you so much for spending time with me. Please do me a favor hit pause, go, leave a rating and a review for the podcast. It's how we reach more people and it's so, so important. Take a screenshot. If you do that, send it to me. I will send you a free gift. Thank you so much, guys. Until next week, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and I will see you next time on the next episode of the Create your Day podcast. Have a good one.