The Create Your Day Podcast

108. When You Want To Quit, Do This Instead

• Jenn Cody | Productivity & Systems for Entrepreneurs

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The first week of a 90‑day sprint feels electric—until reality shows up with sick kids, client fires, and that familiar wall where enthusiasm dies. We dig into a simple truth that changes everything: success favors systems over motivation. Instead of trying to “be stronger,” we design commitment architecture—environment, schedule, and accountability—that makes the right choice easier than quitting.

We start by choosing a single non‑negotiable anchor that keeps you tethered to your goal on the hardest days. Then we run a friction-and-momentum audit to remove hidden blockers and add smart boosters: peak‑energy scheduling, consolidated tracking, silenced notifications, accountability pings, and visual streaks that make progress obvious. You’ll get a no‑drama recovery protocol to stop spirals after a missed day, plus a three‑level progress system—daily checks, weekly reflection, and monthly comparisons to your starting point—to build momentum that sustains itself.

We also tackle the crucial judgment call: are you in a dip or a dead end? With clear questions for each, you’ll know when to push through and when to pivot. To keep your fire lit, we revisit your true why and normalize asking for help so you’re not carrying the goal alone. This isn’t about chasing a finish line—it’s about becoming the person who shows up, especially when the work stops being exciting. If you’re ready to finish the year strong with less willpower and more design, this conversation gives you the tools, language, and structure to do it.

If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s in the dip, and leave a quick review—your support helps more people build systems that stick.

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SPEAKER_00:

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Create Your Day podcast. I'm your host, Jen Cody, and welcome to this week's episode. Last week we talked a little bit about how we're entered into the last 90 days of the year. And I know what happens after we listen to something like that. We get fired up, we get really into building our action plans, and some of us even start implementing those things. I know I have. You know, that voice in the back of your head that starts to tell you this is too hard, maybe this wasn't the right goal, maybe I should try something else. Or maybe you don't have that voice, and maybe some life started to happen. You know, we have emergencies with our families, emergencies with our clients, children, sick children, curveballs that we do not see coming. And now that beautiful 90-day plan, it kind of might be feeling like something you might fail at. And I can tell you, I really am in touch with that emotion. I know that feeling very intimately. The plan, however, that is not the hard part. Sticking to the plan when things get messy is where the real work lives. So today, what I want to do is talk about what to do when you want to give up. How do we stay committed when our motivation disappears? And what are the systems that can actually keep things going when we really, really do not want to keep going? Because the difference right now, the difference between people who are going to finish this year feeling great and people who are going to look back and say, damn, why didn't I do what I said I was going to do? It's this strategy. It's the moments when you want to give up not doing it. So let's talk about it a little bit. We've all quit things before, right? You've quit before. Maybe you've quit something or things a lot of times. We've set goals with really good intentions, and we start really strong and then we stop. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like this is something that I've done many times over the course of my life. I have great, great ideas, get them down on paper, set the intention, set the goals, figure out what the action plan needs to look like, and start off so strong, and then bam, I just stop. And every time you do that, you make it mean something about you. Right? You decide I'm not disciplined enough, I'm not committed enough, I'm not cut out for this. But what if all of those past failures actually have nothing to do with who you are as a person and everything to do with how you're approaching the goal? So we said in the um episode last week, what's the difference between a wish and a system? Because a lot of people set goals by saying, I want to do X in X amount of days. Great. How are you gonna do that? I don't know, I'm gonna work harder, I'm gonna get more clients, I'm gonna be more diligent, I'm going to get up earlier, I'm going to focus better. That's not a plan. That's a wish with a deadline of X amount of days. And you can't stick to that. You can only stick to a system. If you never build the system, you're going to quit. So in the past, if you have relied on motivation alone, motivation is a terrible long-term strategy. You've heard me say this before. Motivation is the outcome. Discipline is what needs to happen in order to get things moving. Willpower, that discipline, it's a limited resource. We've maybe got two, three hours a day where our willpower is strong, and after that, running on empty. So if your whole plan requires constant willpower, are you forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do, forcing yourself to resist, resist temptation, push through discomfort, this is going to make you quit. And that's not because you're weak, it's because you're a human being. So people who succeed, they don't have more willpower than you. They've simply designed their life so that they don't need to use as much willpower. I mean it. That's a powerful statement. You don't need to have more willpower. You need to design your life so that you don't need as much willpower. And what happens is we get this dip and we don't plan for it. There is a predictable pattern that happens with goals. Um, Seth Godin, he calls it the dip. So the dip happens. We start out saying, we're excited. Oh my God, I'm so happy. This is gonna be amazing. And then in week two, it's like, oh, this is a little bit harder than I thought. Um, but I'm still committed, I'm still gonna make it happen. And then weeks three and four, we're like, oh my goodness, this absolutely sucks. Whoever thought this was a good idea, I think I'm gonna just try something else. Or even worse, try nothing at all. So if you hit week three and you weren't expecting it to be hard, you might think something's gone wrong. You think the goal's not for you, maybe you should quit, try something different, but nothing has gone wrong. You're in the dip, and the dip is where the difference is made. The dip is where you come out on top. The dip is where winners win. So when you think about it, this is where you're going to tap into that willpower. And then what about if life happened? What if you had um, you know, you were doing great, your kid gets sick, or a crisis explodes at work, or you got sick, right? That that happens too. Ugh. One of the thousand things that can happen when you're a human being running a business. And because you don't have a protocol for what to do when life interrupts that plan, you just stop. One day off the plan becomes two days off the plan, two days become a week, and then a week becomes, well, I already screwed that up, so I'm just gonna start over. I know this sounds familiar to you. Something else that happens is that we try to change everything at once. So we don't just set a 90-day goal, we set seven 90-day goals. We have a new morning routine, we have a new offer, we have new systems, new boundaries, new everything. And for the first week, we feel super duper human. We're doing all the things, we're so proud of ourselves, and then bam, there's the wall, we crash right into it. Because that level of change is not sustainable. Nobody can sustain that level. So, this is what I want you to hear from me. Every time you quit in the past, it was not because something was wrong with you. It was because the approach was not sustainable right from the start. So, what does that mean? It means if we change the approach, we change the outcome. Okay, so let's talk about the commitment that we're actually making. So, willpower and motivation, not reliable, right? We just went over that. So, what is reliable? Because that's what we need. We need structure that is actually going to support us. So, what is reliable? Systems are reliable, design is reliable. Let's call it, like we're talking about structures, let's call it commitment architect, commitment architecture. And that's where you build your environment, you build your schedule, and you build your accountability in a way that makes following through easier than quitting. You're not relying on being strong all the time. You're designing your life so that the right choice is always the easiest choice. So let's talk about what this really looks like in reality. So the first thing we're going to talk about is the non-negotiable anchor. So we said a lot of people they try to change everything or they try to do everything, I should say. So instead, we're gonna pick one thing that's non-negotiable. You will have other things that you're doing. So you have your goal, whatever that looks like. So I'm gonna talk about myself right now. My goal for this next 90 days, this last 90 days, I should say, is a personal one. It's about my health, and it's something that I have struggled with for a few years. I've had some health challenges, and I have ignored what I need to be doing in order to be healthier. And I know what I need to be doing. So there's a few things that I'm committed to, but one thing can be my non-negotiable. So when I think about what I'm doing to be healthy, I'm eating well, I'm moving my body every single day, I'm taking the right vitamins, I'm taking the right supplements. So those are multiple things that need to be part of this process, right? But I'm gonna pick one that's a non-negotiable, and that's going to be my anchor. And it could be anything. So for argument's sake, let's say it's going to be my vitamins. That's the one thing that if I do it every day, it keeps me connected to my goal, even if other things fall apart. So you can do this for your goals as well. Think about what you're working towards for the 90 days. There may be multiple actions that are going to help you achieve that one goal. Pick one. Make it your non-negotiable. If you have a business goal, maybe that is that you're going to have one conversation every day with a potential new client, or do one hour of strategic work before you check email. Maybe it's tracking your numbers every morning. If it's a personal goal, like I said, for me, maybe it is your supplements, maybe it's 20 minutes of movement, maybe it's journaling every day, or maybe it's changing your bedtime and making sure you're in bed at a different hour. But just pick one to be your anchor. That's it. So this way, on your worst days, when you are overwhelmed and exhausted and you're ready to quit, you do your anchor. You do that one thing. It helps to keep the momentum alive. And there's magic in that because on most days, once you do your anchor, except if it's going to bed, because that'll be at the end of the day, but once you do your anchor, you will do more because starting is the hardest part. Your anchor gets you started. Okay? What's the next thing that we want to talk about? The friction. There is friction in this. This is going to change how you think about sticking to your goals because every goal has friction. Think about the things that make it harder to follow through. And every goal has momentum. Those are the things that make it easier to follow through. So most people don't really think too much about their friction. They just try to push through that with the willpower and then they quit. So we're gonna do a friction check. Think about your 90-day goal and then think about what makes it difficult. What are the challenges that make that hard for you to follow through? So maybe your work time, your focus time is scheduled for 2 p.m. and you realize that your energy crashes every day at that time. Or maybe you have to open five different apps just to get something done that you're trying to track. Maybe your um moving of your body is constantly being interrupted by slack notifications. These are friction. Every piece of friction requires willpower to overcome. And remember, your willpower is limited. So instead of just trying to be stronger, we need to remove the friction. So we need to move that focus time to your highest energy time. We need to create one spreadsheet that tracks all of the things that you have. You need to turn off the things that are distracting you during the time that you should be moving your body. That's removing the friction. And then we had momentum. So what makes following through easier? So is that having an accountability partner who texts you every morning, evening, afternoon, whatever, um, to check in with you? Is it a playlist that gets you in the zone, whether that be a movement zone or a work zone? What is it that gets your head in the right space? Is it a visual tracker that you can check things off each and every day? Maybe you are someone that responds well to reward systems for hitting your weekly goals. Whatever it is that helps you, add more of it. Remove friction, add momentum. This is not cheating. It's like hacking, right? It's smart. It's figuring out how to hack the system so that we don't get caught up and have to rely on our willpower. And then there's going to be some recovery involved. And this is something I want you to listen to because it actually does change the game here. You are going to have bad days, right? You're going to need to recover from things. There's going to be days when you miss your anchor. There'll be days when life explodes, when your plan goes out the window, or days that you just don't want to. That is not failure. Again, we're human beings, and human beings have days like this. It is going to happen. And a lot of times, when it happens, people spiral. One bad day becomes two. Then they think I already messed this up. I'm just going to start over. But what if you had a way to install some recovery here? When you miss a day, this is what I want you to do. You implement this immediately. As soon as it happens, you acknowledge it with no shame. I missed my anchor today. That's okay. It happens. Not, oh, I can't believe I did that again. Not, I always do this. Just the facts. You missed your anchor. It's okay. It happens. You're you are a human being. Then I want you to think about what happened and identify it. I missed my anchor because what? Was it lack of planning? Was it unexpected? Was it low energy? Doesn't matter. I just want you to identify it and be specific so that tomorrow you can adjust. And then it's tomorrow I'm going to adjust in whatever way that looks like to make it easier. Maybe you need to change the time, reduce the scope of what you're doing, add some accountability, do one thing differently, whatever the adjustment is, say it out loud. And then the next day, you are going to do that anchor no matter what. You're not going to catch up on what you missed. You're not going to overcompensate so that you feel better about it. Just get back to your anchor. Consistency beats perfection every single time. Every time. One bad day with a recovery protocol in place, just a data point. That's it. That's all it is. One bad day without a recovery protocol becomes a spiral. This recovery protocol will help you. Okay? Don't let it spiral. This is what's going to prevent that from happening. And then we want to actually track our progress. So our commitment is great, but our commitment fades really quickly if we don't see progress. You know what I mean, right? You're working hard, you're showing up, nothing is changing. You don't feel like there's any forward motion happening. So you kind of start to feel like, well, who cares? Why bother doing this? So I want you to create some visible progress markers. And it's not, did I hit my goal or am I making progress? I want we're gonna build it out, okay? So daily markers. Did you do your anchor today? Check. That's it. One check per day. String together enough checks and you've built a chain. Do not break the chain. So maybe this is, you know, putting an emoji in your calendar each day that you do your anchor, or a literal checkbox on your paper calendar on your refrigerator, or a circle around every day on your whiteboard, whatever it looks like, but some visible check mark every single day that you do your anchor. String together enough checks, build the chain. Don't break the chain. Now, every week, answer these questions. What's one thing that worked this week? What's one thing I learned? And what's one way I showed up for my goal? Every week you need to do this because you're training your brain to see the progress, even when you haven't hit the goal. Your brain still sees, oh, look what I learned this week. That makes me feel closer to what it is that I'm working towards. And then we're gonna do monthly markers. So at the end of each month, you'll compare where you are to where you started. Not where you want to be, where you started. Most people only compare themselves to their ideal outcome and then they feel discouraged, right? This is where I wanted to be, and this is where I actually am. No, no, no. Where were you and where are you? That's it. We're just comparing those two things. As long as there's progress there, you're going in the right direction. So if you compare yourself to where you were 30 days ago, you'll actually see you've made some progress, even if you haven't gotten to that ideal outcome yet. Progress, progress creates momentum. Momentum creates commitment. Again, progress creates momentum. Momentum creates commitment. So you've built this beautiful commitment architecture. You've set up your systems, you're doing a great job, and then it's week three or week five or week seven or whatever week it is. And you wake up and you think, I don't want to do this anymore. And it's not because something went wrong, it's not because you're too tired, it's not because you're bored or you're not excited, whatever. It it's now it just feels like work and you don't want to do it anymore. And this is the moment where most people quit. So I want to talk about exactly what to do when you hit this wall. When you think I want to quit, you're usually not actually wanting to quit the goal because you still want that goal. I'm sure you do. You're feeling something else, and quitting seems like the solution. So get specific. What are you actually feeling? Are you overwhelmed? Just, you know, you're trying to do too much. Are you discouraged because those results they're not coming fast enough? Maybe you're bored because you've lost connection to why this matters. You're exhausted because you haven't been taking care of yourself while you're working so hard towards your goal. Or sometimes we might even be scared because we're getting close and that feels vulnerable. The real feeling matters because the solution is different for each one. So, what I want you to do is decide is this the dip or is this a dead end? Because there's a difference between this is hard but worth it and this is wrong for me. So Seth Godin talks about this brilliantly. Sometimes you should quit. If you're on the wrong path, quitting is smart. But most of the time, you're just in the dip. You're in the hard part, the middle part, where it stops being exciting and starts being work. So ask yourself, these are the dip questions. One, do I still want the outcome? Two, is this goal aligned with my values and vision? Three, am I learning and growing, even if it's hard? Four, would future me regret regret regret quitting? Would future me regret quitting? If the answer to these is yes, you are in a dip. Time to tap into that willpower and push through, right? That's what you need to do. The dead end questions though, those are different. Number one, has my life situation changed in a way that makes this goal wrong? Two, am I pursuing this because I want it or because I think I should want it? Number three, is this causing harm to my health, my relationships, or my well-being? And four, do I have new information that makes this the wrong path? If any of the answers to these is a yes, you might be in a dead end. And it's okay to pivot. That is perfectly fine. But you need to go through these questions first to decide is it worth tapping into that willpower and pushing through, or removing the friction and adding the momentum and getting through, or is it really time to evaluate and see if it's time to move on? And I want you to know that when you're struggling, you're going to think you need to try harder. You're going to think you need to do more and you have to push through. But very often the answer is not more effort, it's less friction, right? So if you're overwhelmed, you don't need more discipline. You need to simplify. Maybe instead of trying to do your full goal when you're in the dip, you do the minimum viable version of that goal. Instead of an hour of strategic work or focus time, you do 20 minutes. Instead of moving your body for 30 minutes, you do 10 minutes. Instead of writing a whole blog post in your journal, you write one sentence about your day. Minimum viable progress is still progress. Minimum viable progress is still progress. And here's what's wild most days, once you start the small version, you're going to keep going because starting is the hardest part. It's like your anchor, right? Once you do your anchor, you're going to want to keep going. And even if you don't, you've may you've maintained your momentum. You haven't broken the chain, you're still in the game. So, what do you do when motivation fades and you need to reconnect? Well, how do we reconnect to our why? Why did you set this goal in the first place? Not the surface reason like what other people want to hear, but what's the real reason? Are your business goals about money? Are they about proving to yourself that you can build something that lasts? Is it about being able to take care of your family? About creating something you're proud of? You know, your personal goal. Is it about the actual workout? Is it about the um supplements that I'm taking? Or is it about feeling strong in my body? Is it about having energy and not feeling like I'm falling apart? So we want to get really specific about our why and write it down. Put it somewhere where we will see it when we want to quit. Because in the days when we don't feel like doing the work, the why is what should keep us going. And if it's not keeping you going, it's not your why. Dig deeper. Okay, this last one actually matters a lot and it's something that a lot of people skip. I want you to ask for help. Don't suffer in silence. Okay, don't pretend you've got it handled. Don't wait until you've already quit to tell somebody. Reach out to that accountability partner. Reach out to your coach. Reach out to a friend or family member who's also chasing a big goal. Tell them, I'm in the dip, I want to quit. Can you remind me why I am doing this? Let them reflect your strength back to you. Let them hold your vision when you can't see it clearly. There is so much power in that. We need people around us that can hold our vision because sometimes we need to step away from our vision, and that doesn't mean it's not right. It just means we need to drop that weight for a moment and then come back to it when we can see it clearly. You do not have to do this alone, and honestly, you shouldn't do this alone. So as we come to the end here, I want to leave you with a little perspective shift that really helped me to change a lot of things. We think about goals as if there's a finish line. Like once we hit the 90-day target, we're done. We can relax, we've arrived, and it's just not how things work. There is no finish line, there's only the next milestone. So if you hit your target in 90 days, then you want to hit a bigger target in the next 90 days. You build a great routine and then you want to optimize that routine. You achieve one level and then you see the next level. This is not depressing. You know, we look at it as, oh my God, it's never ending. Yeah, it's never ending. Thank goodness, because it's life. This is growth. And if you think of your goals as destinations, you will always feel like you're not there yet. You will always feel behind. But if you think of your goals as direction, everything changes. You're not trying to get somewhere. You're becoming someone. Someone who shows up, someone who follows through, someone who doesn't quit when things get hard. That person is built in the moments when you want to quit and you don't. So every time you do your anchor when you don't feel like it, you're not just taking action. You're casting a vote for the person you want to be. You're voting for I'm someone who keeps commitments, I'm someone who does hard things, I'm someone who doesn't quit. And the more you vote for that identity, the more true it becomes. You're not someone who needs to find motivation. You're someone who shows up regardless of the motivation. You're not someone who struggles with follow-through. You're someone who has systems that work. You're not someone who always quits, you're someone who pushes through that zip. So let's talk about these last 90 days because they are not going to be perfect. We're going to miss days, we're going to want to quit and maybe more than once. That's okay. It's not failure, just being human, right? The goal isn't perfection. The goal is persistence. The goal is to want to quit and not quit. The goal is to have a bad day and bounce back, to lose your motivation and show up anyway, because you know the motivation is a result. That's what is going to work for you. It's not talent, it's not tenacity, it's not inspiration, it's systems. It's not motivation, it's commitment. So here's what I want you to do right now. Make yourself a promise. If you're alone, say it right out loud in your head if you're, you know, shopping in the grocery store, but make it real. Say, I'm going to want to quit, maybe many times. And when I do, I'm going to use my tools. I'm going to reach out for help. I'm going to push through the dip. Because future me is counting on current me to not give up. Say it, mean it, remember it, especially when week three rolls around, right? Because you can do this. Not because it's easy, but because you're the kind of person who does hard things. And 90 days from now, you are going to be so grateful you didn't quit. Okay, that's what I've got for you today. If you are in the middle of your 90-day plan, well, really, we're just one week in, but if you're struggling, I see you. It's hard. You're not doing it wrong. You are just in the dip. If you haven't started your 90-day plan yet, because you're scared you'll quit like you always do, you're not going to. Not this time, because this time you have systems, you have tools, you have a plan for when it gets hard. Go back and listen to last week's episode, mark it down, save it, bookmark it, do the same for this week's episode. This is what's going to help you through. If you want ongoing support for this journey, definitely sign up for my weekly emails that go out every single Monday. They give you frameworks, accountability. There's thousands of people in there, and we're all using them to stay strategic and focused. Just join them over at uh GencodySolutions.com. If this episode helped you, share it with someone who you know needs to hear it. Screenshot it, post it, send them the link. We are all in this together. And I'm going to ask you, as always, to do me a really big favor. If you love this podcast, please rate it. Write a quick review. Could be as simple as thanks so much for the help. It does not have to be super long, but that is how this podcast reaches more people. Every rating, every review helps boost the visibility of the podcast. Without that, we are not going to grow. So next week, I'm looking forward to chatting with you more. Until then, do not quit, keep going, and remember you are building something that matters. I really do believe in you, and I'm here for you if you need me. Okay, until next week, take care of yourself, take care of each other. Go out there and create your day in the best way possible. And I will see you here next week.