The Create Your Day Podcast

113. Six Steps to Protecting Your Peace this Holiday Season

• Jenn Cody | Productivity & Systems for Entrepreneurs • Season 1 • Episode 113

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The holidays can feel like a tug-of-war between magic and meltdown. We get honest about why so many of us abandon self-care this time of year, how that choice ripples through our homes and teams, and what it looks like to lead with a regulated nervous system instead of white-knuckling for perfect moments. You’ll hear a candid story of snapping, apologizing, and noticing how depletion breeds reactivity—and how a small pivot toward calm changes the entire room.

We unpack a simple framework to reset your mornings and your mindset: SAVERS from Miracle Morning—Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing. No heroics required. Start with minutes, not hours. Learn how present-tense affirmations tied to your why stick, why visualization primes the brain like a rehearsal, and how even light movement boosts mood and focus. We also share easy, free body check-ins: scheduled reminders to unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, and take a deep breath that flips your system from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.

This conversation is about presence over perfection. Say no without guilt. Lower standards that don’t matter—cards, flawless decor, scratch-only bakes—so you can raise the ones that do: patience, warmth, attention. Your family won’t remember whether the cookies were homemade; they’ll remember your tone and your laughter. Your clients don’t need you 24/7; they need you clear and present when you are there. Stop waiting for January to feel human again. Choose one boundary and one ritual today, and let your steadier energy set the tone for everyone around you.

If this resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs permission to rest, and leave a quick review. What’s one thing you’ll do differently to protect your energy this season?

Thanks for listening!

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SPEAKER_00:

Hello everyone, welcome back to the Create Your Day Podcast. My name is Jen Cody, and I'm your host. If this is your first time here, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you spending some time with us. If it is not your first time here, welcome back. I am talking about something a little off topic this week, and it's the season, right? Like we are in the holiday season officially this week, and I want to talk to you about something that really has been kind of sitting on my mind, sitting on my heart, and something I'm really in the middle of just figuring out myself because since the holidays are upon us, I get a little bit stressed out, right? I think we all can relate to that. Um, there's a mental list in my brain that just continues to grow and grow and grow. I have a lot of obligations, as do we all, and there's pressure. There's pressure to make everything feel really good. Um, during a time where things can feel really, really heavy. You know, the holidays are this weird time where everything feels happy and light at the same time that everything can feel really emotional and heavy. You know, during this season we tend to think about um people who are no longer with us or goals that we haven't met, like different things that maybe are heavy on our hearts. And we it's hard to have all of that going on while we're trying to really make things feel good and happy and light, and you know, run your business, run your family, spend time with people and not lose your mind. So today I want to talk to you about this, about specifically your nervous system and how the state of your nervous system actually affects everyone around you and affects you and your honestly, your whole entire life, and it really shows up in a big way during this time of year. So I'm gonna get personal with you today. Um, I want you to always know that I'm never coming to you as somebody who has this figured out, right? I'm always coming as somebody who sees something and maybe it gives me a little bit of a wake-up call. Um, and I decide to actively do something about it, and then I decide to share it with you guys. So grab a coffee, grab a tea, grab a glass of wine, whatever time of day it is that you're sitting and listening to this, whatever's gonna get you through the next few minutes, and let's talk about it. So last week I was actually at a conference, really, really fortunate to be at a conference in San Diego with the scalable company, and Hal Elrod was there. He was a speaker. And if you don't know who Hal is, he wrote this book called The Miracle Morning. It's been around for years. I had heard of it, but I had never read it. Um, I've seen it recommended. A lot of you out there are probably, you know, remembering it now if you haven't actually read it. And um, you know, so it was in my world. I had it was not new to me, but I had never actually read the book or seen Hal, listened to Hal, nothing like that. So seeing him in person really did shift something for me because you guys know sometimes you hear the right thing at the right time. And that's what this was for me. It made me realize that not just recently, but years and years and years, I definitely have a pattern where I give of myself, like we all do, and I really do I shouldn't say I prioritize self-care because that kind of negates where I'm going with this. I don't ignore self-care. I do choose to have self-care in my life. However, when push comes to shove, that will be what gets pushed to the back burner. That will always be if it's, you know, if I have time set aside for myself to rest or read a book or anything like that, and then something comes up that needs to be handled, the rest and reading gets pushed aside. So I've justified this. I have really great justifications. I will tell myself, you know, oh, this is just a busy week. Once I get through this, I'll slow down. So-and-so needs me. Um, I just want to tend to this client, whatever it is that I tell myself. But what I don't acknowledge in that moment is that the version of me that's really showing up in that time when I'm depleted and should be taking care of myself better, that person might not be that helpful to anybody because when I'm running on empty, I don't know about you guys, I am definitely reactive instead of proactive, instead of strategic. My temper gets short, especially with people that I really love. I mean, just yesterday I snapped at my daughter out of nowhere and I texted her immediately afterwards, and I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm cranky and it has nothing to do with you. So we all do this, right? We make decisions from places of stress instead of places of clarity. And even though we're physically present, we're mentally somewhere else, running through a to-do list and we're not paying attention to what's going on around us. So, what I want you to hear today is that your nervous system is contagious. And that is science. It's not woo-woo, it's not, you know, just that whole manifestation stuff. It is that when you're stressed out, when your nervous system is dysregulated, the people around you feel it, they absorb it, and they actually mirror it back to you. So think about the last time that you walked into a room where someone in there was visibly anxious or you could see that they were upset. Even if they didn't say a word, you felt it, right? Your body picked up on their energy and your body and your nervous system responded to it. Now I want you to think about that in the context of the people around you during this time of year. You're stressed about getting everything done, maybe you're worried about money. This is a big financial strain on people at this time of year. Family dynamics, hello, like who's gonna sit next to who at the table, all of that, fitting in all the obligations that we have. We are up to our ears in shit to do, and it causes us to snap at little things. We have these moments around us that should be enjoyable, and we should be sitting in them and marinating in the joy of being surrounded by people that love us, and instead we're rushing through the moments. And the people closest to us, think about who that would be for you. Is it your children, your spouse, your parents, um, whoever it is that you think is the closest to you, they're not just observing your stress, they're actually absorbing it. Their nervous systems are picking up on the signal that something is wrong and they need to be on alert too. And this happens in our business too. Whatever it is that you do, when you are frantic, the people around you get frantic. They start maybe hesitating to bring you a question or bring you a problem because they can already feel you are at capacity and they're absorbing it. They absorb that sense of urgency where everything becomes an emergency, and then the culture of your work, your household, your business mirrors the state of your nervous system. I have watched this play out so many times, both in my business, with my clients, with my family. We think we're hiding our stress, right? We pretend we're holding it all together, but our bodies are literally like broadcasting a signal, whether we want them to or not. And the holidays specifically, they amplify everything. What are the patterns you've been running all year? Whatever that is, they get turned up between November and January. So if you're running at a nice calm six all year long, well, you're running at 11 between November and January. And especially think about overcommitment, right? We overcommit so much in general. At this time of year, you are about to overcommit on steroids. You've been like ready to neglect yourself at all costs, ready to abandon whatever your needs are. And we run on caffeine, we run on adrenaline, and we push our system to its breaking point. So I don't know about you guys, but I definitely have a pattern during this time of year. I totally try to do too much because I want to create perfect experiences for my family. How silly is that? Because it's just not possible it's to be perfect. But, you know, if you are not new here, you already know this. But if you are new, you know, I have a little bit of a traumatic history in my family. I went through a terrible divorce. Um, my children had to go through that process as teenagers. So I really do find that at moments like this, the holidays, birthdays, like these special occasions, I want to create this new sense of memory, like this new set of memories, I should say, for my family. I want to be present. I want everything to be magical. And somehow I need to also keep regular life and my business running smoothly. So what do I do? I say yes to things that I should say no to. I stay up too late. Um, you know, last night I was supposed to be just resting and relaxing after a full day of doing work and setting up the house and getting ready for the holidays. And instead of sitting down, I had something delivered from Amazon and I'm like in the middle of the living room putting furniture together at eight o'clock at night. Like that is not necessary. Um, so I've the these are the things that cause stress to us because in addition to all that, you know, are we eating as much as we need to eat? Are are we skipping meals? Are we just grabbing whatever's convenient and telling ourselves that January's gonna be here soon enough and then we can rest. But then what happens in January? For me, January comes and I get sick and I get exhausted, or I'm just so depleted and wondering why I feel so empty when I just experienced this season that's supposed to be so happy and so full of joy. So, can you guys relate to this? I think you can. I know I am not alone here. And the holidays are not what the problem is. The problem is actually that we abandon ourselves during the holidays and we treat self-care like it's selfish. There's too many other things to do, right? So we think, I'm just gonna put this off until things calm down. But if I have learned anything over the past decades, it is that things don't calm down. There's always another reason to put ourselves last. And every time we do, you are technically withdrawing from an account that's already overdrawn. Think about that. Like you're trying to take energy and take focus from an account that has nothing left in it. So, this is what I decided that I'm going to do differently this year. And I want to be really clear with you guys. I am literally just starting this. It's not a success story. So there's no neat little bow on this. I am coming to you from day one, or I guess technically, not even day one. Like I've I've started a little bit, but I'm it this is the messy beginning, not the messy middle. But I think this might be more valuable because after seeing Hal Elrod at this conference, I decided, you know what, I'm gonna purchase the Miracle Morning book and I'm not just gonna read about it, I'm not just gonna think it sounds good, I'm not just gonna tell people that I got to hear him speak. I'm actually going to try to implement this into my life. So if you are unfamiliar with the concept, it is about waking up earlier and dedicating time to yourself. The point is to be doing that before the demands of the day take over. So his framework includes things like silence, meditation, visualization, affirmations, um, reading, journaling, and oh, and exercise. So here's my confession. The idea of waking up earlier has not always been pleasant to me. Um I do enjoy it when I do it. And I have always considered myself to be a morning person. Like I'm much more alert and active in the early part of my day. I get super tired. Like post five o'clock, I I don't ask me to do anything productive. So rolling out of bed at the last possible minute has kind of been my MO. Let me clarify what that means though. I would roll out of bed and spend some time having coffee, sitting and relaxing. Like that is a form of self-care. So it's not where I would roll out of bed and immediately be at my desk working. I was actually um taking care of myself in a kind of what would the word be? It was not purposeful. It was just, I needed some time to wake up, I guess, before I had to respond to everybody else's needs. However, when I heard Hal speak, I realized that what I was doing was not helping me. So even though I was getting up earlier, I still was behind before I even began. Because by the time I came online, and I don't mean like online on the internet, I mean online, like my brain came online in the morning after my coffee. I would immediately, my first action, my first purposeful action was still to let everyone else's priorities dictate my energy. So I am trying something new. It's not uncomfortable, but I'm not gonna pretend that it's easy. So for the first couple of days, what I've been doing is waking up at the same time. So, like I said, I do get up early. I just have never had like a purposeful plan when I do wake up. So what I'm doing is taking a small amount of time in the morning for me to do some of these things, to sit in quiet, to think about what I actually want. And I do work out every morning, so that part is already kind of baked in there. Um, but I am choosing to read something instead of just sitting scrolling on my phone, and um, it is causing me to show up differently. So even just in the past two days since I started doing this, I have noticed that I am less reactive, I have a little more patience, I feel a little more grounded in my decisions, which is a big thing for me. And I feel like I'm starting my day with a full cup instead of an empty one because when your cup is full, what spills out when life bumps into you is a lot better than what spills out when you're running on empty. And I mean that. That is that is really sincere. You need to think about what ca what will help you have a full cup before you start responding to other people. So today, I know like you're a grown adults and you don't need my permission for anything, but I'm gonna give you permission. Sometimes we need someone else to say things out loud before we can let ourselves believe it. So here it is. You are allowed to take care of yourself during the holidays. You are allowed to wake up a little earlier to have quiet time before the chaos. You are allowed to say no to obligations that drain you. You are allowed to not make everything from scratch. This is a big one for me. And you are allowed to ask for help, you're allowed to ask for a nap, you're allowed to skip a party if you are only going out of guilt. You are allowed to let some things be imperfect so that you can be more present. And here's why this matters the people you love do not need you to be perfect, they need you to be present. And guess what? That presence is much better when you are regulated. When your nervous system is in a great state, it's they don't want you to be present when you're vibrating on the ceiling. They need the version of you that has something left to give because you didn't empty yourself out trying to create some Instagram-worthy experience for them. So I know you've heard this before, but your kids really are not going to remember whether the cookies were homemade or store-bought. They're going to remember whether or not you were stressed and snapping at them, or whether you were calm and actually enjoying the moments with them. When you think about work, your clients do not need you to be available 24-7 during the holidays. Please write that down and repeat it to yourself every day. Your clients do not need you to be available 24 hours a day during the holidays. What they need is for you to come to them when you do come to them with energy and clear thinking. So I don't want you to hustle through December. I want you to focus on adding rest in so that you can lead well into the new year. So, as always, like, how do you do it? What are you going to do? So, this I'm telling you what I'm committing to. And I will encourage you to think about is there a version of this that works for you? So, like I said, I am getting up early. I get up early anyway. This for some people, this is a really big shift. So maybe start with 15 minutes, right? It doesn't have to be an hour early, but start with something. And this should be a non-negotiable. So for me, this is the time that I'm going to fill my cup before the day starts demanding. So what I'm doing is really borrowing from the miracle morning, and I am choosing to have a few minutes of sitting in silence, and that's meditation. And meditation can be hard for some of us. Um, we focus on clearing our minds, which is practically impossible, especially if it's not something that you've ever tried to do before. So, one of the things during Hal's speech at the uh conference last week that I thought really landed well with me, that I want to share with you, is that meditation, it's okay for you to just let your mind run and wander and just kind of address the thoughts. And what he was, I don't remember if it was him actually or someone else that was saying that when they meditate, they almost speak to themselves in the third person. So, what that would look like for me while I'm sitting there in silence, trying to have my five minutes of quieting my mind, I'm letting my mind go wherever it wants to go, and I'm just acknowledging it. Like, okay, Jen, yes, you can think about that later. Okay, Jen, great. You're thinking about this again? Yes, let's let's put that aside until later. And that I actually started practicing that way, and it's easier than it seems, and I do feel after the few minutes of silence that it um it's helping. So that's the silence part. I also move my body every day, and I'm choosing to read something inspiring, not scrolling on my phone. So those are the three things that I'm starting with. I'm having my coffee, I'm still sitting there. This is not like I have to do this and only this, like I'm sitting in silence and drinking my coffee. It's it's it doesn't have to be like a special place that you go sit. Whatever works for you. And I'm being truly honest with you about my capacity for this, because before I say yes to anything this season, I'm trying to ask myself, do I have the energy for this? Not can I fit it in my calendar? Those are two different questions. Ask yourself, will this fill me up or will it drain me? And if it's going to drain me, I need to practice saying no, or at least not right now, right? Just choose one of those things, but don't say yes to things that are going to really be draining for you. I am also kind of lowering my standards in some areas so I can raise them in others. So what I mean by that is I pulled out all of my holiday decorations last week, and they're not perfect. A lot of them probably need to be replaced. Um, and I'm just not doing it. I'm going to have the decorations that I have, they're going up. I'm not going to make, I don't send out holiday cards anymore. Like I'm really recognizing where my capacity is, and that's okay. What I'm going to do is be present with the people I love. I'm going to try and be calm. I'm going to actually focus on enjoying the season instead of getting through it. I'm paying attention to my body also. And this has really been helpful as I focus on making that movement a priority in the morning. It's really helpful for me to focus on noticing are my shoulders up by my ears? Is my chest tight? Am I holding my breath? So I have some um reminders on my phone every few hours that go out and just have me check in with my body. How simple is that? It's totally free. Put a reminder for like 9, 12, 6 p.m., just or every hour if this is something that you really want to focus on. That just says check in with your body. And during that 10 seconds, lower your shoulders, take a deep breath, feel the tightness in your chest disappear, unclench your fists, unclench your jaw. Those are the things your body is telling you something. So instead of trying to push through, just take that pause. But we have to remind ourselves to take the pause. I don't remember to do it, so I need to set that timer to make it happen. Take the breath. Ask yourself, what do you actually need in that moment? This whole process takes three seconds. This is not going to, you could do it from anywhere. You could do it while you're driving, you know. So this is not something you need time for. And also, I am not going to wait for January. This is a big one because I always tell myself that I will get to things after January. But how about if I make it so that I don't need to do that because I'm focusing on not depleting myself completely in the first place? How amazing will it feel to enter the new year feeling energized instead of exhausted? So, so before we wrap up, I do want to get back to the actual miracle morning plan because if it's something that you'd like to do, what I just described is not the full thing. So, um, Hal's plan is something called Savers, S-A-V-E-R-S. And what that stands for are the six things that you should incorporate into your day every day. And you could do them for one minute and take six minutes to do this in the morning, or you can do them for ten minutes each and take an hour to do this. But if you can do each one of these things, basically it's like the six most proven self-development practices all squished together into one personal practice. So the first S in Savors stands for silence, and we spoke about that. That's your meditation. The second letter is A, and that stands for affirmations. And this is putting affirmations together that are very specific. And these are things that you want to either say out loud or read to yourself over and over for that minute to 10 minutes. You can have three affirmations, you can have 10 affirmations, whatever works for you. But you want to state things in the present tense. So maybe something would be like, I am taking care of my body, and you want to say why you are doing it. So I am taking care of my body because it is important for me to be in my best healthy state for myself and for my family. I just literally made this up on the spot. So something like that. And these are affirmations that you can have around your finances, around your family, around your health, around your job, around your company, anything that you want to bring into um existence. This is where you're going to be starting that process. And then the V in Savers stands for visualization. Now, if you don't already know this, there are plenty of podcasts out there on Olympic athletes and really super driven people that attribute their accomplishments to visualization. So if you can spend a minute to 10 minutes each morning closing your eyes and visualizing you living the life that you are trying to achieve, it is a proven practice. So that is the visualizations. The E is for exercise, which we spoke about already. The R is for reading, and then the last S is for scribing, which is for your journaling. Something, as you know, if you are not new here, this is something super hard for me. So I am going to make this part of my practice, starting off with just the three things, right? I'm doing the exercise, the silence, and the reading. I'm going to start adding more and more in, and I'll keep you posted about how that's going because what I want you to really leave with today is knowing that taking care of yourself is not selfish. It truly is a strategy. It is necessary and it's the most generous thing you can do for the people around you and for your business. When you regulate your nervous system, you're giving everyone around you, including those people that work with you, permission to regulate their nervous system. Oh, and what a great world that would be if we could all live that way. So when you model rest, you're teaching your children that they're allowed to rest too. When you show up calm for an interaction with someone, when you are present in a meeting, you're creating space for real connection instead of just going through the motions. So I know that we have to protect our energy, right? Because we need to be able to give things to people that actually matter. And we can only do that when we do protect our energy. So this is not about being perfect. I'm literally just starting to, right? I don't have this figured out. I'm gonna mess it up. There's gonna be days I skip because I stayed up too late or whatever, or maybe because I just didn't feel like it that day. It happens, but I am committed to trying because I have seen what happens when I don't take care of myself. And that pattern, ugh, it's it's ugly and I don't want it anymore. So I'm ready for something different. I'm ready for something consistent. And if you're feeling that familiar kind of dread creeping in because of the holidays, if you're already exhausted and Thanksgiving isn't even here yet, still got two more days. If you know in your gut that you can't keep doing things the way that you've always done them, then I'm telling you this is your sign. Your nervous system, it does not take a holiday, but you can choose to take care of it anyway. So thank you so much. I hope that this was helpful to you. This is what I've got for you today. I'd love to hear from you. What's one thing you're going to do differently this season to take care of yourself? So send me a DM on Instagram and let me know. I am at um solutions by Gen Cody on Instagram, or you can email me at jen at gencody.com. If this episode resonated with you, oh my goodness, please do me a favor and rate it. Leave a review for it. This is how we reach more people. Please share it with a friend. Screenshot it, share it on your Instagram story. The more we can share the um content on here, the more people we will be able to reach. And everybody needs permission to put themselves first, right? Maybe you sharing this will be the thing that gives someone else that permission. So thank you so much for being here. I will talk to you next week. Until then, take care of yourself, take care of each other. Have a beautiful Thanksgiving if you are here in the States, and I will see you next week. Thanks again. Have a great one.