#40 The 10 (Surprising) Things I'm Thankful For

We explore ten unexpected places where thanks took root, from back surgery and Wisconsin winters to thrift choices, long road trips, and a peaceful goodbye at a father’s bedside. The conversation invites you to pan out, reframe hard memories, and practice deeper gratitude with intention.

• lessons from back surgery on compassion and health
• rhythms and beauty of Wisconsin’s four seasons
• stewardship, thrift, and modeling money wisdom for kids
• road trip chaos turning into family legacy and lore
• the grace of a peaceful death and presence at the bedside
• awkward first job shaping empathy and workplace courage
• embracing height as confidence and practical advantage
• the gift of introversion for insight and presence
• gratitude for strict parents and protective boundaries
• being the youngest and learning from older siblings
• growth through coaching work and serving others

If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon Kcoaching.com. That’s Sharon the Letterk Coaching.com. If you’ve enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you’ve heard of.

Click the link below to set up a free discovery call to begin your transformation today.  Or email me @ smurph923.sm@gmail.com to find out more about how I can help.  

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Transcript

Welcome And Gratitude Focus

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Hello and welcome to my podcast. My name is Sharon Murphy and I'm a certified life and mindset coach and I help women who seek to be happy and holy. Each week I'll bring you tools and insights to help you on your journey to the heights. I'm so glad you're here. Hey everybody. Welcome back. Or maybe welcome. Maybe this is the first time you're tuning in and listening, and for that I'm grateful. And speaking of gratefulness, at the time of recording, this is the third week in November 2025. In that spirit, of course, like so many of us, I've been really trying to focus on things that I'm grateful for. And I thought it'd be fun to do something a little bit different. And I'm gonna just share with you some things that I am thankful for when this episode is released. I think it will actually be Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. If you're here in the United States, we celebrate Thanksgiving Day in a couple of days here. But for all of us, I think it's a good practice of gratitude just to be aware of things that we're grateful for. Like so many of us, we think of the usual things. Maybe you have a tradition of doing that on Thanksgiving Day, which I think is awesome with family or friends or whoever you celebrate with, but maybe you don't. Either way, I think it's just really important to become aware. It can really help us reframe how we look at the events in our lives. And what I wanted to do in the last few weeks, this has been on my mind, is to just sort of look a little bit deeper at the things in my life that I'm grateful for. Yes, of course I'm grateful for friends and family and for my health and for all those things, for work, for all the things we're afforded in our Western world right now, just the simple things. But I wanted to take this a little bit deeper and look at basically my whole life. What are some of the things that I'm grateful for having gone through or experienced, and maybe, maybe, and actually not maybe, most of these are things that at the time or throughout various points in my life, I probably wouldn't have been grateful for them. But now in hindsight, you know, or maybe even just with a little different perspective, I look at them a little differently, and I now see them with a heart filled with gratitude. And so I'm gonna share with you 10 things that I have come to be grateful for, and I'm gonna share with you why. So I'm gonna invite you to do the same as we get to the end of this. I'm gonna I'm gonna have you invite you into the same thing. But for now, I want to just share with you some of these things. So the first one, and these are in no particular order. I just kind of threw them out, made some notes as I was thinking about this. So they're they're kind of random. But the first one is my back surgery that I had. And for those of you who know me, I have it was 14 years ago, I think, 2011, I herniated a disc in my back. It was a very random thing. It was just shutting off my alarm clock in the morning, reached over in October, October 12th. I remember exactly when it was. I felt something pull in my lower back, and I said to my husband, ah, something just happened. That was weird. And I had had some back issues. I had been running quite a bit, and my back was stiff here and there, and I would see the chiropractor, but nothing, nothing major, nothing that would take me out really. Well, this transpired into months of I had herniated a disc, is really what the diagnosis was. Essentially the disc was kind of shattered or shredded. It was ruptured. They tried to just take out some of those pieces, they call that a dysctomy, and it didn't work. And there was two failed attempts at trying to do that, and essentially they it led to me having to have fusion of L4, which is my lumbar spine, the lower part, down to my S1, which is the sacrum. So there's a few couple of discs that were fused together, kind of a long recovery. And what was crazy about this time was that I had just had my son, my sixth child, and he was a couple months old. So it was kind of a challenging time. At the time, I know people were like, wow, this is awful. You know, people really rallied to help me bringing meals, helping out with the kids. I would say that at the time it seemed to be one of the most unfortunate things I could have experienced. But looking back at it now, I can see it with so much gratitude. First of all, it helped me to realize that people are so good. The people, like I said, that came to my help, that brought food, that brought desserts, that offered to help my kids, that were praying for me, people that sent cards that I hadn't heard from in years. It really opened my heart to the goodness of people. I also have learned that I have so much more compassion from that experience. I have so much more compassion for others who are suffering or who are in pain, who are going through struggles, because I remember what that was like to be really completely helpless and to be at the, you know, had to have to rely on other people to take care of you, to feel really helpless. And as somebody at the time who, you know, had six children and was trying to do it all, right? I really couldn't do anything. I couldn't take care of myself to realize that everything is still going to be okay. So that experience taught me a couple things. Again, how to be compassionate for others who are suffering, who are struggling. I also came to realize the gift that our health is. I don't take that for granted anymore. I don't take it for granted. When I am able to go out for a run now, I appreciate it. Prior to that, it was like just something that I needed to do. Now when I'm out there, I am so grateful and I I make it a prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving. And just I'm I feel with so much gratitude just to be able to do something like that. And I realize the people who are never given that opportunity because of physical incapabilities. So I'm grateful just for the health that I do have when I have it. Sometimes we as women, but for any of us really, we can tend to think that if you know we are in charge of everything and that if we stop, that you know, everything the world's just gonna end, right? At least our little worlds. And that helped me to realize even when I wasn't able to do things, the world kept spinning, my kids were fine. That experience taught me that. So number two is living in the state of Wisconsin, which is where I live. So most of you that know me or those that are close to me would agree that I tend to do a fair amount of complaining about Wisconsin, especially in winter, primarily when we're coming back from our trips from Florida, which I've talked about that we do each spring. Anytime it gets to be kind of long or gloomy, I can't I say to my husband, why do we live here? But the reality is, is I'm super grateful for living in Wisconsin. And I will I will tell you why. First of all, we have four seasons, and the change of seasons, it's just I love the rhythms of life, and it helps to create a rhythm of life. And so I really do like how we have the the fall colors and the change in the air, and then we lead into winter, and then it's spring, right? And all that all that blossoms and it just changes so greatly. And then in summer, we appreciate those three months of summer, which is it is strictly that's what it feels like, is three months. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like we get that much, but those three months, we take full advantage of them because we know that that time is very limited. I appreciate the four seasons. I also love Christmas time as we're entering into the holiday season now at the end of November, heading into winter. I just love Christmas time around here and into winter, it what it looks like outside, all the snow. We've always I grew up skiing outside, uh, you know, downhill skiing. But even when we would take the kids when we were younger, sledding, building snow forts, seeing young kids playing in the snow, we get to experience that. And as much as I envy, we have some family members in Florida and some people that live in other parts of the United States, I envy them when it's warm and they can be outside and enjoying the sunshine and the and the warmth. I also would, I would really, really struggle at Christmas time when to not experience the snow. That's just part of the way I was raised. And so there's something about it. It would, I would have a really hard time with Christmas if there wasn't snow outside. So that's another part. The winness, the winter coziness, I guess I should say, also that comes with it. So we have a house that has a wood-burning fireplace. That's always kind of been a non-negotiable for my husband. The coziness of our place, it's a kind of a it's a Florida ceiling fireplace and it's stone. And the room that that's in is kind of a rustic room. We have like a wood, I think it's pine. Actually, my husband's gonna laugh at me if he listens to this. I don't know what kind of wood it is. But anyway, the ceiling is wood, and so it's it just feels very, very rustic, I guess. That particular room. The rest of my house is not, but it's so inviting and warm and cozy. And like the my kids that come home, they're always like, Oh, I love this room in winter. So there's something very appealing about being able to tuck inside and be warm when it's cold outside. It just creates a totally different feel. So to be able to experience all those seasons, that is what I have come to really love about living in Wisconsin. So, number three is the fact that early on in our marriage, my husband and I did were doing fine. You know, we started out like most people were both working, and we were doing fairly, you know, fairly reasonably well with our finances. But as our family continued to grow and we kept adding on children, we had to learn how to become more thrifty. So, with that, I'm gonna say that I'm grateful for learning how to become thrifty and how to be okay with shopping at thrift stores for clothing for my kids. With that, we've taught our kids that it's not it's not better to have the best of the best, right? To have everything name brand, to get everything you want, to just be able to buy something as soon as it becomes available, that it's important for us to become good stewards of our money, and that's our responsibility. And it's taught me some lessons. I've been driving a minivan now for how many years? Not my vehicle of choice, and it's been a topic that my husband and I have gone back and forth on, but it seems the most practical, and so I continue to drive a minivan. And would I like to drive something nicer right now? Yes, I would. Yes, I would. I won't deny that. But I'm also appreciative of where we're at right now with our finances because of those decisions we made. For me personally, but also more so as I see my kids now getting launched into the world. I see the three oldest are basically independent. And when the way I see them viewing money, viewing finances and how they're living and they're stewarding their own money are from the the fruit of those lessons that they learned through us of how to how to manage that we don't just you know go and buy everything we want, that we don't put everything on payments. And so there's a lot of great experiences with that. And at the time, I certainly wouldn't have thought that that was something that I would have been grateful for, but in hindsight, I am, because it has a lot of lessons in it, and it taught me a lot of things as well. So number four is the long road trips in our conversion van, particularly, but all the road trips that we took to it started out being Florida, and again, I've talked about this in some other episodes, but every year, starting back in, I believe, 2010 or 2009 was one of the first ones. Maybe it was even a little bit earlier than that. Ah, I take that back. Actually, I think it was 2004 because my third daughter was two years old. I was talked into taking the kids in a van driving to Florida. Now, that's something not something I ever did growing up. So the idea of packing up several kids into a van and driving 20 some hours was like, there is no way I'm doing that. Yet it has become an annual trip. As hesitant as I was in the beginning, I and I will tell you that as throughout the years, there was a lot of trips that were filled with a lot of very stressful moments, right? We had kids who were sick in the car. There was, I can't even tell you the number of meltdowns, the arguments. You know, you see all the things on social media about the funny parents that are scolding the kids in the back and they're kind of losing their temper and it's very heated and stressful. Well, that was certainly part of our experience, no doubt. But the reality is, through all of that, the memories that have been made and the way we look at it now, it's it's a part of our family history and it's something that we think about. The time that our conversion van, we bought a conversion van. And for those of you who don't know what a conversion van is, somewhere along the way, I think this was in 2010 we bought our conversion van. It's a big van that has, you know, nice big like captain's chairs, and it's just got one door that opens on the side, and it's just got a lot of room. It's got a lot, it affords you a lot of room. They're kind of big and boxy. They're really, they're really kind of ugly. But it was what served our family very well. It gave us a lot of room and we could all fit in it, and it fit our luggage. So we would take that. Didn't love the way it drove. But on the way home, there was a time that it broke down in Georgia. And we remember the time. We remember exactly the exit that we had to pull off on, that we worked on it for hours and hours. Eventually, we needed to call and get a rental vehicle from the Atlanta airport. Took a rental vehicle home, and then we had to figure out how to get our van home. It was kind of a whole mess. Certainly not something I was grateful for at the time. As we I'm I'm thinking about this now, all these trips and all the years and the number of times that people said, I have no idea how you did it or how you do it, right? You're crazy. There, I would never do that. I would never do that. I have to tell you the memories. Like I said, when we get together with our families, when we have family get togethers now with our kids, and we especially as this trip approaches every year, which is in spring and like March or April, it's usually over Easter time, all the conversations come up again. All the memories about those trips and all the little things that happen and the little funny little things, it's it's a huge part of our family, our family history and our family legacy. So I am really, really grateful for all of those long, long road trips. Number five. Number five, I hesitated to put this in here, but I I decided to because it is it is something that I am super grateful for. So again, maybe I shouldn't have stuck it in the middle because I didn't want it to get lost in there, but they're they're in no particular order. But so number five is being able to be at the bedside of my dad at his passing when he died three years ago. Honestly, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. He was in his 80s, he had just gone to the nursing home for a very short time, so he didn't have to spend much time there. His health had been declining. He still had his mind, so we were able to communicate with him to the very end, and the and we were there for the last days. And it was truly one of the most peaceful and hope-filled experiences that I have ever gone through. Unlike most of the major events in my life, I can remember bits and pieces, and I remember it kind of on a bigger scale. But this particular experience, it's engraved in my memory. Like I can remember the smells, I can remember such specific details of the day, what the room looked like. I've just thought about it. I know after he passed, we knew that it was coming and it was what was best for him. You know, this is what do we hope for for our loved ones, right? Is that they'll pass on peacefully. To be able to be part of that was just, it's something that I wish and I pray for everybody to be able to experience. And so to be able to go through that, now I've seen my children take their first breath. Each of my six kids, I was blessed to not have to be put under for anything or to have any complications. I had natural deliveries. And so I was there, I was present, I was part of it, and I saw them take their first breath. But to see someone take their last breath is a completely different experience. And I think it it is just truly a gift, and it was really beautiful. So I am extremely grateful for that experience. Number six, I was a job that I had out of high school, and I won't mention the name of the place, but it was not something that I wanted to do. It was, I had done like a little internship there when I was a senior in high school, and I hadn't found another job, and I just needed something for the summer, so they told me that I could work in the mail room at this particular place part-time. And it was not a fun job. Let's just leave it at that. I I learned exactly what I do not want to do for the rest of my life. Let's let's just go there. But I will say that I I think probably what made it so extremely challenging was that it was kind of a an older company, like meaning that most of the people that work there had been there for years and years and years. These people were, most of them were, I would say, in their 50s at the time, maybe even low 60s. And here I was, 17, I was young for my age, and I really had not had much experience, and I was very uncomfortable. At the time, I I didn't like talking in front of people, I didn't know how to address people, and I made some major mistakes, and I was super nervous, and I was just really fearful. And I think about how I showed up and how I was, I was too afraid to ask questions, and I was I was really awkward. And so what that has taught me is since that time I worked, I worked at a large insurance company for almost 30 years prior to doing what I do now. Throughout that time, I have learned to offer so much more grace to new hires, to temps, to young people who are just learning the robes because of that experience. I've looked at those people and realized that I know what it's like to be that new person and to feel so awkward. Really taught me a lot about what it's like to be in the workforce and how to advocate for yourself. So that particular job, and I will say that I really wanted to, I wanted to quit there. And my dad was like, no, I think there's some lessons in this job for you. I'm grateful to him as well. But I am grateful for that experience because I think about that job often. Some of the lessons that I learned and having to do work that I did not love, dreading going into work each day. There's some some real lessons in that. Number seven that I'm grateful for is being tall. So for those of you that don't know me, I am I'm fairly tall for a female. I am five, I say five ten, but I'm probably pushing five eleven. For most of my life, I would say through high school, I was probably about five nine. My mom was always taller. She's lost some height as she's aged a little bit. And I have a sister who is also tall. She's probably about 5'11. But there's a lot of people in my life are not very tall. My dad actually was not very tall. My sisters, like other sisters, like 5'6. A lot of my cousins and things were not very tall. And growing up, most of my friends were not tall. I had one particular friend who was about my height, but the other girlfriends of mine were like, they were short. And so, do you know what it's like in high school? When you're growing up, I just always felt at that time, I felt very awkward and uncomfortable. You know, when I'm walking down the hall of school and my friends were like 5'4 and I'm 5'9. And when you like boys, and of course in high school, boys aren't very tall. At least, I don't know, it seems like people are getting taller. Maybe that's just my perception. But back in the day, I didn't feel like I felt like I towered over everybody else. Or at least the maybe the boys I liked. They were always shorter than me. And they didn't like me because of course I was taller. So that was just an it was an awkward thing. And at the time, back in the 80s and 90s, jeans and clothes, they weren't very long. You didn't get talls. We just started wearing jeans when I was probably in grade school, middle school. So the selection was very limited and they didn't make them very long. So to find jeans that were long enough was kind of hard. Anyway, I was very, I was very uncomfortable being tall. But I will say that has changed. And that has changed, that changed a number of years ago. I started to realize the value of being tall. I loved it when I was pregnant. There was a lot of reasons for that. First of all, I could carry the weight better. Second of all, I didn't, you know, when you have a baby that's pressing on your rib cage and you're trying to get your breath, being tall has a ton of advantages. As well as the fact now that I'm in my 50s, I've realized that I can add some pounds without it being noticed as easily, right? I can wear the same jeans and gain 15 pounds, maybe even more. There depends on the jeans I'm wearing. But so my weight can fluctuate and it's not as noticeable to other people as it is for people that are shorter. Those are just a few things. And maybe it's shallow, but I can tell you it does make a difference. Just when I'm I'm in my appearance and how I feel about myself, I appreciate the fact that I'm taller now than what I did when I was younger. Also, I have noticed that people take me seriously. And by that I mean if I put my shoulders back and I stand tall, I think that somehow it can just exude some confidence. So not to knock on people who are shorter, trust me, I've envied you for a lot of my life, but I'm just saying that now I can see the gift that it is. And so I'm grateful for that. Number eight is being an introvert. Being an introvert. And by introvert, I'm just gonna specify that I really enjoy being alone, that I'm okay to be by myself. And I see that now as a gift. I see it as a gift. For a lot of my life. Well, let me just back. I would say that we live in a world, and maybe this is just my own perception. You might totally disagree, but I think we live in a world that celebrates extroverts, and that introverts tend to be looked at as antisocial. Like they just need to come out of their shell. Now, I just want to say that wanting to go into a quiet room and read for hours is not problematic. But for much of my adult life, that's how it has been viewed around me by those whom I love and adore. Now, I will say that a lot of my in-laws, they are amazing people. They are just super inviting, outgoing, they're great at hospitality, they are great at including people, they're great at hosting parties, they know how to people make make people feel welcome. That said, they're extroverts. So an introvert living in a world that feels crowded with extroverts can feel very challenging. And I didn't really always understand what was going on. And so I would, I would kind of judge myself. Let's just say I judged myself and I would try to become more extroverted. I would try and be, and then when I didn't, I'd and I'd feel exhausted, I would feel like there was something wrong with me. After a lot of self-reflection and a lot of personal growth, learning, and through this work that I do, but also just in other things, I've come to understand the gift of being an introvert. I realize now that just because you're not working, earning, achieving, doing, performing, right, that you're not, that doesn't mean you're deficient. The need to go off and to be alone and to be introspective and to just have quiet space, whatever that might look like for you, that's not a problem. That's not a problem. The gift that introverts bring to the world, the gift that I bring to the world, is something that a lot of extroverts aren't able to do. Right. And I share this with my clients. That's how I think I became so much more aware of it as being a gift in myself is because I realized in other people when I would see them do the same thing and judge themselves. And I saw the great gift that they had to offer other people. So again, like I said, I've come to really appreciate this, right? And I try and help other people honor this about themselves. The ability to observe and learn things that others don't because they're too busy leading conversations or hosting or entertaining. Introverts have something to bring. They have a contribution to make. Introversion and inspection, those things allow for intellectual growth and intuition to develop. So don't stifle that if you're an introvert. Be grateful for it. You have a lot to contribute. Number nine that I'm grateful for is my parents being strict, right? And that word I know can be, it's very, it's very relative, it's very subjective. But for me, I'm just gonna say, you know, they and it there was in a time where parenting was changing. The generation before that, I think parents just kind of had a high standard and they were very strict, and that's the way it was. But as I was growing up, I saw it start to evolve into something different. And there was parents of friends of mine, not not all, I had a lot of friends who had strict parents as well. But there was a lot of people that I saw that their parents were starting to become much more easygoing, letting the kids kind of make decisions, which was very different. And so, of course, as a teenager, what did I do? I resist, right? I resisted that and I I rebelled. But thanks be to God, my my parents, they were not pushovers. And they held fast to their convictions. They weren't weak in the face of my resistance or the resistance of anybody else. Like the culture that was changing around them, they held pretty firm. And at the time, like I said, I did not like it at all, but now I am really grateful for that. That you know, I think about some of the things that I wanted to do going to on spring break during high school. And my parents were like, you know, there's some friends that went in high school, and they were like, no way, you're not going with a bunch of kids. You're not, you're all minors. You know, there were certain concerts that I wanted to go to or parties. And now in hindsight, I'm pretty sure I know what would have played out at those events and the way I would have showed up. And so I'm really grateful that they protected me from those things. Even I will be very open and vulnerable that my husband and I, before we got married, he had moved into a duplex that he owned just for a few months. I had thought about the fact of just moving in with him. I didn't see that it was a big deal. We were getting married. We knew a lot of people around that were doing that. And my mother was very firm in absolutely not. And it was not permitted or allowed. And I remember at the time thinking, what is the big deal? Now I see it very clearly, and I'm really grateful for that. Just other things, right? They pushed me to be really responsible after high school. They were very, my dad was very, you know, very adamant about that you're gonna work and you're gonna have a full-time job and you're gonna do these things, and it really wasn't up for debate. And now I see that as just really setting a great foundation for me. So I'm really grateful for that. Number 10, I am grateful that I am the youngest in my family. Again, like most things I've mentioned here, I didn't like that for a lot of years. I always felt, you know, behind or left out. If you're the youngest, you know, as kids, we always want to be older. So it's tough when you're the youngest because you see everybody else doing things and you just want to be doing what they're doing. Now, I love it. Those older siblings that I have, they now are a little bit envious of the fact that I'm younger. Maybe they'll deny that, but I know it. They don't we all see people that are younger and think, oh, you know, we just we realize that we've probably missed some opportunities or we just, you know, all the things that come with youth. I am very, very appreciative that and grateful that I am the youngest. As well as I will say that yes indeed, I will affirm this to my older siblings that yes indeed, my parents did spoil me, not because of anything and it wasn't intentional, but I do see how things got much more laid back and easygoing compared to my older siblings. But I'm gonna add in there that this is true. I believe I won't say all families, but I would say the vast majority. And if you're an older child, I think you probably will be the first to step in and say, yeah, they spoiled the youngest. I think it's just the natural occurrence, right? As parents get older, they relax and they settle into their roles. They start to learn that it's okay, that they don't have to be so hyper-vigilant that everything's gonna be okay. Or maybe it's maybe it's just that they're getting older and they're tired, or maybe a combination of both. My husband and I laugh about that because, of course, my older children will comment about the youngest or the younger ones. And we do admit, yeah, we've learned a few things. We don't need to be as concerned about some of the things we used to concern ourselves with, but also you we are tired and we just admit it. One other thing is that I uh enjoy and appreciate the fact that I get to learn from my older siblings' mistakes. But I have found that on the flip side of that, I might avoid the mistakes that they have made, at least to some extent. The unfortunate thing is that I've just learned to make new ones. I make my own mistakes, I make different ones. So those are the 10 things. But I do have a bonus one that I'm gonna throw on the end here that I wanted to include, and that is that I am super grateful for this work that I get to do. It challenges me. It challenges me in ways you guys that you don't really understand. I have had to grow in humility. I've had to really get used to being uncomfortable in certain situations. It pushes me so far out of my comfort zone, but it requires me to become a better version of myself. That has just been it's been super helpful to me. It's just been such a gift in my life. In addition to that, I get to meet so many amazing people and to share in their stories and to accompany them as they journey, as we all journey to the heights, right? It's truly such a gift. So as I end the show today, I just, like I said, I want to invite you to take some time to consider the things in your life that you're grateful for, things that you maybe have not thought of, of as things that you've experienced in your life or at the time seemed like obstacles or moments that were painful or difficult. I want you to actually pan out and look at your life in its entirety. What are those things, moments, experiences that you are grateful for today that you can see now differently? That you can see God was maybe working in your life that you didn't realize at the time. And as always, I'm so grateful for you, my listeners, who took the time to listen to what I've had to share today. I'm grateful for you taking some moments of your very precious time to invest in yourself, to learn, to grow, and to expand. And until next time, onward and upward, my friends, to the heights. Thanks so much for listening today. If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon Kcoaching.com. That's Sharon the Letterk Coaching.com. If you've enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you've heard of.