#42 Part 2 or 3: Who Are You - In The Waiting

We explore how waiting is a neutral space shaped by our thoughts, from holiday lines to life’s bigger delays, and how Advent invites expectant joy over impatience. Practical reframes and preparation steps turn delays into growth in relationships, home, work, and faith.

• waiting seen as neutral time shaped by thought
• examples from checkout lines, traffic, and a four-hour theme park line
• impatience, annoyance, and frantic urgency traced to specific thoughts
• reframing toward empathy, trust in timing, and expectant joy
• preparation during waiting for relationships, marriage, home, and work
• loving others while waiting for change or return to faith
• making use of uncertain waits through resilience and inner growth
• Advent as a call to prepare the heart, not just the home

If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon K Coaching.com. If you've enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you've heard.

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Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Focus

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Hello and welcome to my podcast. My name is Sharon Murphy and I'm a certified life and mindset coach and I help women who seek to be happy and holy. Each week I'll bring you tools and insights to help you on your journey to the heights. I'm so glad you're here. Hey, welcome back. Last week we talked about who you are in the hustle. This week we're going to be talking about who you are in the waiting. Are you someone who struggles with waiting? How are you when you're waiting in line somewhere? We're just got through Black Friday shopping the day after Thanksgiving, and there was plenty of long lines. Right now, as we're getting closer to Christmas, there's plenty of long checkout lines, whether you're at the grocery store or some other retail place. Maybe you're one of those people that's just decided you'd rather shop online because you can't stand checkout lines, I get it. How are you at traffic lights with all the traffic in the cities or when people are traveling or shopping for holidays? I can tell you that I have one experience I can remember fondly. I'm sorry, not fondly, that I can remember vividly. Fondly is not the word I wanted to use. We were, it was a number of years ago, and we were in Florida. We had went to, I think it was Animal Kingdom. Somebody will probably know this and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was Animal Kingdom. We had been in line to go on a ride, and it was from that Avatar movie. I think we had to wait in line four hours to get on this ride. The problem is that I don't even like roller coasters. In fact, I hate them. And so I don't even like to go on them. The rest of my family wanted to go on this. So, and we knew that the line was going to be that long. Well, we didn't know exactly gonna be four hours, but we knew it was gonna be a couple hours probably. And I was like, well, what else am I gonna do? And some of the kids were younger, so I was like, well, I want to talk to everybody at least while we're waiting in line. And as we got closer, then you get inside this kind of building or like the tree that where the ride is in. And so you're inside for how long at the end? And I'm like, well, it's one of those virtual rides that you don't actually get in a car and go on a roller coaster, but you just kind of sit there and you watch it. You don't like the 3D, whatever kind of thing. Anyway, those really make me sick because it's just all about the the drops and this whatever. Anyway, but I can avoid it because all I gotta do is just close my eyes, right? So I remember that from even when I was younger. It's like just close your eyes and then you don't see anything. So I waited in four I waited in line for four hours to hear my family members hooting and hollering and screaming and loving it. You know, I don't even know if the ride was five minutes, maybe ten. I it was not long. And I closed my eyes the entire time and we got done, and they were like, that was awesome, whatever. And I was like, I saw nothing. Anyway, I waited in line for four hours to see not one single thing to close my eyes. So yeah, it seems a little foolish, but you know, the things you do for your kids, for the people you love, that was that was right up there. Call me stupid, call me, you know, wonderful. I'm not sure, but that's up for debate. But anyway, when I'm talking about waiting in line, I was talking about waiting just in general. But do you know that how you show up when you need to wait is actually very revealing? Some would say that it actually shows your true colors, but I don't know that I really believe that. Because what's really happening is it to me, it reveals your mind. It reveals the thoughts you're having. And so I like this topic today, as we're in the season of Advent, and this is a time of waiting. But it also ties into every area of our life. When you think about it, there are so many things in our lives that we're waiting for. A lot of things. What about when you're waiting to get married? Or when you're waiting to buy a new home or find the right one. Especially at this time, that can be really challenging when you're waiting. Or even when if you're waiting to have a home built. I don't know what it's like where you're living, but there's a really hard time getting contractors to get the work done. I know that my husband works in construction and they are so extremely busy. You can't find people to show up because it's just there's not enough people to do the work. Anyway, so there's a waiting in there. Maybe you're waiting to find the right person to date. Maybe you're single and you're really desiring to be in a relationship and to get married and you just you aren't in one, so you're waiting. Or you've been on a journey of weight loss and you're still waiting to hit your goal weight. Could be that you're waiting for the right job to come your way. Or what about the this is an obvious one. What about during your pregnancy? If you're pregnant and you're expecting, there's nine months of waiting. Now, my son and his wife are expecting and they are nearing the end of their pregnancy, so this is fresh on my mind, and it's it can get to be a long time. For some people it goes quickly, some people it it seems to drag on. But also the opposite is true for those couples who are desiring pregnancy and are not able to achieve that. There's also a waiting that can be very challenging. Maybe you're just waiting for an apology from someone that you love or a loved one to return to the faith. The truth is, is we spend much of our life in waiting. And I think it's really interesting thing that we to talk about because it's what you do or you don't do in the waiting that can make all the difference. Just the just hearing that word waiting, we need to wait. Or there's a time of waiting, it can bring up different emotions for each of you. But waiting is neutral. It's just it's just a fact. It's really just describing a period of time where you hope for or expect something to happen and it hasn't come or it hasn't happened yet. It's basically the space between now and some future event or outcome. But what you do in that time and what you make of it or what you make it mean is huge. And I want to share with you some of the more common ways people show up in their time of waiting. I'm gonna give you some emotions that seem to be very prevalent in times of waiting. And I'm just gonna give you a little example of how that can look, and maybe some thoughts that might be driving that. So the first one is impatient. You might experience impatience. And an example in that would be, you know, waiting for the right job opportunity, as I just mentioned. And a likely thought is that this is taking too long. That could be a thought. When we we become impatient, not because we don't have the job that we're looking for yet, but it's because we're thinking this is taking too long. So another another thought is just, you know, the right job will come at the right time. You're not going to experience impatience if you're thinking the right job will come at the right time, but you will if you're thinking this is taking too long. Now, another emotion that happens is annoyance. And I also just lumped it with frustration or frustr, feeling frustrated. And this can happen like when you're in a checkout line, as I talked about, waiting in a checkout line. And I, this is for me personally. I struggle when I go to Walmart or somewhere and I'm done grocery shopping. I don't, I don't enjoy grocery shopping. And so when I'm done, I just really want to be done and I want to be back home. And then to have to wait in line, it just really gets under my skin. So I really work on this. And a likely thought, which I may or may not have had, is I don't have time for this. That's a thought that leads to annoyance or frustration. But a better thought that I have worked really hard to grab onto myself is I bet this worker has had a really long day. Or I'm grateful that I'm not the one waiting on all these people who are maybe a little un you know, annoyed or frustrated like me. So it just even that little twist, right? Just to look at things a little differently. But another way that we can show up when we're waiting is hurried or frantic, which is kind of the opposite. So let me give you the example. Let's say that you're waiting to meet the right person, as I talked about. You're single and you want to be in a relationship, and so you're you're waiting. People can tend to show up hurried or frantic. They can do things, they shouldn't be, they can try and rush things, they can push things, and that is stemming from a thought of I need to meet someone, or I'm getting older every day, and I just want to be married, I just want to be have kids. Those are the thoughts that you're having. Time is going quickly, and I'm still not in a relationship. Those are all thoughts that are dre driving you to feel hurried or frantic or rushed. But some better thoughts to think is the right person is out there, and I'll meet them at the perfect time. I know that some probably seems difficult to do, but but that really can be helpful. So another one is another thing that we can experience in the waiting, which is where I'd like most people to be, where it's where I'd like myself to be, and I'd which is where I think you would like to be, is a place of expectant joy, or it could be expectant faith, right? If you're hoping for a good outcome where you're not sure what the outcome is. An example of this would be the birth of a child. And a likely thought that leads to expectant joy or expectant faith is I can't wait to meet this new little one, or this is going to be such a beautiful experience. Or I can't wait for this moment to happen because I know it's gonna be it's gonna be wonderful. That leads to expectant joy or expect expectant faith, right? But the reality is, and I point these out because any of these, as well as many others, are available to you. You can be impatient or annoyed or frustrated or hurried or frantic, or you can have expectant joy or faith. We don't need to feel annoyed or bored or impatient. And the thing is, is likely those are stemming from some thoughts about ourselves that involve some sort of injustice. Do you notice that? It's like this shouldn't be happening to us, this isn't right. Those are the things that lead to annoyance, boredom, or impatience or frustration. But rather instead, we can choose expectant faith or joy, which is always fueled by hope. And so one really important aspect of all of this that I want I want to make is this. We're talking about waiting. And I think in the time of waiting, what's really important to know is that we have the responsibility to be sure that whatever future event we are awaiting, whatever future outcome we're hoping for, whatever it is we're we're waiting for, that we are to be found ready and prepared the moment that it comes, the moment that it arrives. Are you waiting for the right man or woman to come into your life? Well, let me ask you, are you prepared? Have you prepared your heart to receive them? Are you growing yourself and doing all your own inner work so that you're prepared for the moment when you do meet them? Are you maturing emotionally, spiritually, mentally while you wait? Maybe you're waiting to get married. Maybe you're engaged and waiting to get married. Are you learning the skills needed to manage a home, your finances, and so on? Are you doing all the things necessary to ensure you and your future spouse are on the same page when it comes to important matters? Are you growing together and learning how to properly communicate? Maybe you're waiting for just the right house to come your way. While you're waiting, are you learning how to properly care for your current place? Are you budgeting and saving the money you needed so that when the time is right and you find the right place that you can actually afford the down payment? You can afford it. Are you clearly talking with your spouse about exactly what it is you'd like in a home? What about those of you who are waiting for a loved one to return to the faith or even just have behaved differently than what they are right now? Maybe you're in some time of crisis with a loved one and they're making poor choices. Are you fostering a loving relationship with them in in the time of awaiting? Are you loving them for who they are right here, right now? Are you doing your own work, focusing on you becoming the best person you can be? Are you growing spiritually, emotionally, mentally so that when the time is ripe for your response, it will be exactly as it should? You see, often we don't make good use of our time of waiting. We let our minds run and we come up with all these things that feel justified about why it's not right or fair that we need to wait, why is it taking so long, or how we should have this thing already, because after all, we've done A, B, and C, just like so-and-so did. Or how we just wish it were here already. We hate waiting. All of this, it it really just results in us wasting this time of waiting, this time when we really should and could be preparing. You see, if we don't already have that thing that we're waiting for, then it's likely that we're not ready for it yet. That the Lord wants us to grow in some way or to learn something during this time. We busy ourselves with trivial things to keep busy, we complain. But what we should be doing is preparing. I've talked mostly about events or outcomes that are perceived as good. But this is true for those times when we wait when we're unsure of the outcome. Maybe we're waiting for test results. We're waiting as a we watch a loved one suffer. While our thoughts and emotions will certainly be different in those circumstances, what's the same is that we still need to take this time as time for us to prepare. This time of waiting should still be a time of us growing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It's about us preparing ourselves so that when it wait that time of waiting is over, we're better able to receive whatever the outcome is. Remember, we spend much of our life waiting. What you do with that time is up to you. But I believe that in every season of waiting, it's an invitation and an opportunity for us to grow. For us to make sure we're prepared as best we can. And as we get closer to the coming of of Christ this year, of his birth, as we celebrate that on December twenty-fifth, I just want to ask you, are you spending this time of waiting hurrying about getting things done? Are you annoyed that you have so much to do? Are you impatient because you have to wait a few more weeks for the gifts or gatherings? Well, my hope is that rather you are waiting with expectant joy. I want to propose that you use this time that's left not just to prepare your home, but your heart as well. Prepare your heart to receive him. And until next time, onward and upward, my friends, to the heights. Thanks so much for listening today. If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon K Coaching.com. That's Sharon the Letterk Coaching.com. If you've enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you've heard.