#49 Enough Is Enough: The Key To Lasting Self-Control---Part 4 of Virtue Series

We explore gluttony as modern overconsumption and show how temperance restores clarity, margin, and freedom across body, mind, and soul. Practical tools, gentle mindset shifts, and a simple invitation help us trade excess for peace as Lent approaches.

• defining gluttony as excess used to seek comfort or escape
• links between gluttony and sloth in a comfort-rich culture
• how emotional eating, binge scrolling, and overspending mimic drunkenness
• why temperance creates financial, time, and physical margin
• pillars of temperance: sobriety, fasting, continence, restraint, control
• practical steps: boundaries, fasting from one comfort, replacing not just removing
• curiosity over shame and naming the real need beneath cravings
• surrender prayer as support for lasting freedom
• one small, specific moderation goal for the week

If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon K Coaching.com. If you've enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you've heard.

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Transcript

Setting The Stage: Gluttony And Temperance

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Hello and welcome to my podcast. My name is Sharon Murphy, and I'm a certified life and mindset coach, and I help women who seek to be happy and holy. Each week I'll bring you tools and insights to help you on your journey to the heights. I'm so glad you're here. Hey there. Welcome back. Today we're going to be wrapping up the fourth of our four-part series, the virtue series that I'm doing. And today is gluttony and temperance. Gluttony and temperance. Maybe you've heard of these words, maybe you haven't. I have to tell you that I don't know that I knew much about gluttony, but I saw a movie way back when. I'm trying to think. I think I might have been pregnant with my first son, and he's that's like 29 years ago. And it was called Seven, and I think it was based on like the seven deadly sins. And I'm just, this is just coming to me right now as I'm doing this. So I apologize if I get parts of it wrong or if I'm maybe not quoting it correctly, but I can remember, I think it was just called Seven. But the idea was that there was like murders that were happening. I know this sounds really awful. It's a terrible way to start a podcast, but I'm just recalling this. And like these people who were had these seven deadly sins, like they died in their sins. So the reason I'm bringing this up is, for example, the one that stuck out to me, and I obviously there were seven deadly sins, and I don't remember what the other ones were. I'm sure that if I could really think about it, but my mind isn't there right now. But the one that sticks out to me was gluttony, and it just showed this gentleman, and he was very overweight, and he was eating this food, and I can remember, and the reason I said I was pregnant with my son is because I was kind of emotional. And I remember saying to my husband, like through the movie, I was so disturbed by the way these people died in their sins. Like I said, it was almost like a hey, I don't know how to describe it, but it was like, you know, kind of a lesson learned kind of thing. Like, this is what happens to you when you sin in these manners. Because this gentleman who struggled with gluttony, he was like overeating and overeating and overeating, and he like died from eating or something. I just remember him eating all this like spaghetti. He was so huge, and he ended up dying because of it. And it was like to a point of like being like really kind of grotesque. Like you when you watched it, no matter what the sin was, this is the one I'm talking about today, but whatever the sin was, like you were kind of repulsed by it. And that's what happened in that movie to this gentleman with gluttony. And I remember thinking, oh, it was just so troubling. So when I think of gluttony, I kind of just see it as, you know, I think of that image. Just like I talked about with Sloth a couple episodes ago about Sid the Sloth. That's the way I envision when I think of gluttony. And so it just sounds very to me. And yet, I will, if I'm being completely honest, gluttony is a big part of my own story and my own challenges in my life. So as we're going to dive into today, I think this is a great topic to be talking about, especially for we are approaching Lent at the time of recording. And Lent, if you are a person of faith, especially of the Catholic faith, it's a time of prayer and fasting and penance. It's a time to empty ourselves so that we can enter fully into the season and be prepared for Easter. Whether you're giving up meat on Fridays, as we do as Catholics, if you're a practicing Catholic, or if you're someone who's just wanting to abstain from some other habit, or if you want to learn how to fast for your health benefits, I think you're going to find this very helpful today. And we're not just going to talk about fasting and restraint as a means of physical benefits, because that's very true. That's a it's a very it's a very uh real outcome or side effect. But the virtue of temperance holds far more benefits than just physical. The spiritual effects are many. And so, as I talked about sloth a few episodes ago, it's worth noting that sloth and gluttony often go hand in hand, meaning that if you struggle with one, it's likely you struggle with the other, at least to some degree. Because the desire to overindulge, which is related to gluttony, it's closely related to the desire to seek comfort and to avoid difficult things, which is sloth. So that's why you'll see that often these two are linked. And like I said, with sloth, I said this in that episode a couple back, I think that was episode 47. I'm not I'm not positive on that. I think it was 47. Maybe it was 40, I think it was just lap last episode, it might have been the previous episode, but you can look it up in the in the wherever you get your podcast. But specifically, like sloth, I think specifically in the US, if you're blessed to have all of your basic needs met, which many, I think many, if not most of us do, you're more susceptible to gluttony, just like you're more susceptible to sloth. When we have our comforts, our basic needs met, then we start to seek comforts, right? When we don't have our basic needs met, we're not even thinking about comforts. It's only a survival. So part of this is a product of the world we're living in right now. So I think this is very, very applicable. But anyway, let's move into what these are. So again, talking advice and virtue, again, just habits, as I've mentioned before. It's replacing unwanted habits, unhealthy habits, unhelpful habits with habits that are going to lead us to become the person we want to be, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So to begin with, gluttony is really nothing more than overindulgence that seeks comfort, escape, or satisfaction through excess consumption. It's specific to consumption of some sort. Now we often relate this to things we put in our bodies, food or drink. That's primarily what we're talking about. But it can be gluttonous in other things. It's consuming of just about anything in our world right now. I can mean consumption of social media, right? Of other things. So it's an overindulgence for the sake of seeking comfort or escaping. Now, temperance is the virtue that offsets this. It's what we need to seek is temperance if we struggle with gluttony. And that is really self-control that governs our desires rather than being governed by them. So can you see why that's so important for each of us in our lives and especially in our world today? Governing of our desires through self-control. So gluttony says basically, I want more. Give me more. It's excess. And temperance says, I have everything I need. Let's talk a little bit about how gluttony shows up in our modern life. It can be emotional eating, binge eating, binge scrolling, over-shopping, overcommitting. Overcommitting. See, it's not just what we put in our bodies, it can be overcommitting. It can be using excess to numb stress or for even loneliness. Even loneliness. So I know we talk about the problem in, you know, our health crisis, and we do have a health crisis, but a lot of, you know, even a problem with obesity in our world, and we look to try and fix it with our diet, which we absolutely should, because we have a problem with the food that we take in. But I think we have an even bigger issue with, as we state, emotional eating and using food or drink in excess to numb our stress and our loneliness. And it's creating weight problems for us. That's often the underlying reason that we're overindulging in the foods that we're and drinks that we're having. Just an important thing to remember, and that I want to point out, is that gluttony is often about filling an emptiness. It's about trying to meet a need. We're using excess to meet a need. It doesn't mean emptiness doesn't necessarily mean loneliness. It can be other emotional needs that are not being met. Let's talk about ways that gluttony shows up. I've done this with all the other virtues and devices. I'm going to do this again because gluttony is a general term. So what this really means is self-indulgence, self-indulgence, which is really just giving oneself, giving yourself whatever is desired without discerning or moderation. And we could say overindulgence, right? But self-indulgence says, you know, I deserve this, feeling like it's your right. And that can look like eating for comfort rather than for hunger. And that's what I'm talking about when I was just mentioning being overweight or our obesity crisis. I think this is a really, really big part of it, is that we're eating for comfort rather than for hunger. We're spending impulsively to boost our mood. We can be escaping into entertainment instead of addressing our stresses. So that's self-indulgence. We self-indulge. The next one is drunkenness. This is a form of gluttony. It's consuming something to the point of losing judgment, clarity, or self-control. While it's often linked to alcohol, drunkenness can also describe any habit that numbs or overpowers our mind. It's not just alcohol, although that's primarily the way it's referred to. That shows up like drinking to escape your emotions, discomfort. It can be binge scrolling until late into the night. Often when we find ourselves in excess behaviors, there's different things. It can almost give us a state of mind that mimics drunkenness that are under the influence of alcohol. There's different things that can give us the same effect, the mind-numbing effect, where we're not able to properly discern or make the right choices. We've lost that faculty. So it's overusing anything that dulls our awareness. The next one is ravenous. Ravenous. That's an insatiable craving. When you're ravenous, you know, have you ever been like, oh my gosh, I'm so hungry, I'm ravenous. It's just a hunger that's never satisfied, is the way that that's defined. And that's feeling like enough is never enough. It's constantly wanting more food, more, it could be more, more purchases, more drinks. It's just feeling like you never get enough. There's people that will eat even beyond being full. And that movie that I talked about, that was that was actually what was happening. It was the gentleman was so there's he was so stuffed and full, he was like vomiting and vomiting, and he just kept eating. It was like there was an insatiable appetite that could not be met. And so it can also be consuming very quickly and mindlessly. Why is temperance needed? Why is it essential for our spiritual freedom? This is a really important point I want to make because there is such a spiritual component to this, to these two things. Well, temperance creates, I'm gonna say it creates margin. And what do I mean by margin? If it if we're talking about financially, it's a resistance to overspending and practicing contentment. And so then you create savings. You have a financial buffer. So creating creating margin is creating space. So how does it create a time and emotional margin? It's by not overcommitting, it's restraining your impulses, it's avoiding burnout, and so that you have the energy to respond to crisis. And so when we're talking physical margin, it's by eating and living moderately. And by doing so, you maintain better health. That's what I mean when I talk about creating margin. Not only that, temperance restores clarity. How does it restore clarity? Well, if you've ever fasted, if you ever tried fasting, and I know in the last how many years it's become much more common in our world for the health benefits, there is there is a it's known that if you fast for an extended period of time, the clarity that you'll experience, it's very real, very, very real. Your mind will become sharp as can be. But that's been known since the beginning of time. Our spiritual fathers back in the day have talked about this, this practice practice of fasting and the mental clarity that comes from it. It's because you're emptying yourself, you're not overindulging in these things that it just creates a fog. It it eliminates any any chance of clarity. And this is true for any excess in our life, right? When we have excess in any area, we don't have clarity. There's too much stuff, there's too much clutter. Temperance also strengthens our prayer life, and it becomes, it protects us as well from addictive patterns. Let's take a look at the different aspects of temperance. Let's look at what temperance looks like. Sobriety. Sobriety is just clear and balanced mind. It's a clear and balanced mind that is not dulled or driven by excess. Now, today, when somebody says they're practicing sobriety, we immediately we just associate it with they're not drinking alcohol. And that can be referred to that for sure, but it just means basically the definition is staying awake, being aware, having a clear and balanced mind, and being self-possessed, having possession of yourself, your mind, and your faculties. So to me, I don't know, that seems pretty appealing. It's not somber, it's it's not boring. I I like that definition, actually. And so how does this show up? It's knowing when to stop eating or drinking. It's keeping your emotions steady instead of being really dramatic. It's staying mentally clear rather than numbing out. The next one is fasting. So we had sobriety, and this is fasting. Fasting is the intentional practice of giving something out for a time to strengthen ourselves spiritually, but also physically. It's a way to strengthen our ability to control our appetites. That might look like skipping a meal so that you can spray you can pray. It might be skipping something that is distracting you in your life, anything that's taking up too much mental space, anything that's taking up too much time or attention or focus. That can be taking a break from social media. It can be saying no to comforts, so that's fasting. The next one is continence. That's the ability to hold steady in the face of desire. It's choosing not to act on every impulse. That's what continence means. It's not buying something new simply because we want it. It's pausing before responding emotionally, and it's also saying no to overindulgence, even when we're tempted. Now, this one is restraint. I think this is very similar to incontinence, but it's the practice of placing healthy limits. It's it's practicing restraint. We've heard that said. It's taking one serving instead of three when you're loading up your plate. It's turning off your phone at a cent time. It's not looking at your phone first thing in the morning when you get up and instead praying. You just, and I we know how hard this is. When that phone is sitting there and you hear a notification that something came through, we want to grab it. But practicing restraint is just letting it sit there and knowing that it's going to be okay. It's not filling every moment with activity. The next way we can practice temperance is control. And the control just really means the capacity to govern our actions, emotions, and desires rather than being governed by them. Now we all want to practice control in our lives. The problem is we try and control our circumstances or our external things, external factors, our external environment, and we can't control that. But what we can control and we need to control is our actions, emotions, and our desires. And of course, I'm gonna say our thoughts. We can control our thoughts. At least we can control how we how we change them or direct them if we notice them popping up. And we don't have to be governed by them. So this looks like choosing your response in agreement, in a disagreement, excuse me, instead of just reacting. It's sticking to a budget. It's ending habits that are unhealthy. Now let's look at some practical ways that you can practice temperance this week. How do how do you practice temperance? That can look like pausing and considering what you really need. When we talk about overindulging in food, and I talked about it filling a need and the fact that often there's an emotional need that's not being met. That's something where you can stop and pause and say, what is it that I really what is it first of all, maybe what is it that I'm feeling, and but then also what is it that I need or want in this moment? What is it that I really need? Instead of just reaching for something to satisfy, whether that's food or drink or some device or shopping, ask yourself what you really need. It's likely not food or drink or another new curse. The next thing is creating small boundaries, which is just set some boundaries for yourself. We do this for our kids. We set boundaries or limitations on their devices, or we should perhaps. We give screen limits, we can have spending caps if we're struggling with overspending, we can control our portion sizes. Just set some boundaries for yourself. The next one is to fast from one comfort. I'm gonna just invite you to fast from one comfort. It doesn't have to be food or drink or something like that, but what is one thing that you could give up? This is really, really a good time to do this, especially as we consider moving into Lent. Maybe it's something you can adopt for the entire practice of Lent. Maybe it changes each week. Maybe you decide that each week you're gonna look at some comfort that you've become really accustomed to that you're gonna give up each week. So that's training your appetites. The next one is just to replace rather than just remove. So this is important. When we stop something and we're really, if it's something that you're really struggling with, it's filling that space with something else, with something good. And again, tying this into Lent. I I used to express this to my kids, it's not just about giving something up, but what are you going to do instead? When you fill that space, it makes it so much easier to abstain from or give up from or avoid overindulging in whatever that was that you were struggling with. Maybe you can fill that space with some sort of good service or or helping out someone in need, or it could be with prayer or connecting with a loved one. The next one is gratitude. Practicing gratitude is thanking God before you take anything in, before you consume or overconsume. It's becoming more mindful of what you're doing, just becoming aware of what's happening. So we talked about pausing and considering what you really need. But even if you're finding that, you know, you're gonna sit down and you're gonna have something to eat or drink, then just becoming mindful of what you're taking in. I want to encourage you. I really do. Like I said in the last few episodes, we can kind of get down on ourselves or it can be overwhelming when we look at all the things in our lives of areas where we want to grow or we want to get better. But there's no place for shame. And there's no place for shame when it comes to this kind of stuff. That does no good for us. It doesn't help us to move to better habits or better behaviors or to grow in virtue. That's not what we're called to. What's more important, a better, a better way of showing up or or handling this is to just get curious and to ask yourself, why am I turning to these things? What am I seeking? What is it that I feel that I need? What am I looking for right now? What is it that I really need? Maybe you need a nap. Maybe you need some rest. Maybe you need some exercise. Maybe you need to just sit down and do nothing and read a good book. Maybe you need to talk with a friend. And then ask yourself, what is it I'm trying to satisfy? What it what if it's an emotional need, maybe you're needing connection, maybe you're feeling lonely. Maybe you feel like you need to be seen. There's a need that you're trying to satisfy. Always surrender, right? Surrender anything that you're struggling with to God because we always find strength when we surrender to God. And in the moment, one of the best things I can say is say, Jesus, I surrender this to you. You take care of it. There's a surrender surrender novena that our local bishop here in the Diocese of Green Bay prays every day, and it's called the Surrender Novena. If I remember, I'll try and link it into the show notes. It's po it's powerful, and it's it's just beautiful. There's a little short little description that you read, kind of a meditation that draws you in and gives a really good explanation of the importance of surrender. It's really beautiful. But then at the end, it's just invites you to pray 10 times. Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything. But you can do that for any area of your life. You can do it for your kids. You can, Jesus, I surrender whatever their name is to you. You take care of them. It can be any situation you're struggling with, any fear, any worry. So if there's anything, any area where you're really needing or or wanting God's help, just I invite you to pray that surrender prayer. And so as we close, I just want to remind you that gluttony, when we talk about this, it's about filling a need. We're constantly trying to fix the behaviors, which is it's a part of it, but it's extremely important. To find out why you're turning to these things, to get to the emotional needs that are underneath. And what happens is when we turn to these things, they become a form of bondage. They become an area of slavery. And we become a slave to these things. It becomes the thing that we turn to when we're struggling emotionally, whether that's food or drink or shopping or pornography or any any other number, gambling, any other thing that we use to try and satisfy ourselves, we become in slavery to them and we become in bondage. So the only path to freedom to get out of that is temperance. And so it's so important, as hard as it is, is to practice temperance. And even though it's difficult in the beginning, it is the path to freedom. And so I want to invite you, choose one area to practice moderation this week. Just pick one area that you want to practice moderating and focus on that. Not all the things, not all the areas, just one small thing. So this wraps up our four-part series on the virtues and vices. Now I hope you've gained a better understanding of the virtues and the effective means in combating those vices or unwanted habits in your life. Just remember, don't use these as a means of guilt or feeling overwhelmed or to use this as a way to shame yourself. This is part of the journey that we're on. And as you continue to work on growing and pursuing a life that's full and abundant, I want to thank you for making this journey with me. Know that you're not alone in this work and that we climb together. Until next time, onward and upward, my friends, to the heights. Thanks so much for listening today. If you have any questions or would like to go deeper into this topic or how it affects you in your own life, you can find me at Sharon K Coaching.com. That's Sharon the Letter K Coaching.com. If you've enjoyed listening, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite platform. And feel free to share with anyone you think might benefit from what you've heard.