"Self-Care Isn't Selfish"

“Self-care isn’t selfish.” We’ve all heard it. But let’s be real—this phrase has been hijacked by an industry that sells bubble baths, wine nights, and spa days as the ultimate cure-all. And somehow, we still end up exhausted.

In this episode of Trash Talk, we break down how the self-care movement went from a necessary practice to an expensive (and often performative) industry. Is self-care actually fueling you—or just numbing you from the things you really need to address? We’re unpacking the hard truths, the real purpose of self-care, and why “treating yourself” isn’t always the answer.

You know you wanna listen in. Do it.

Transcript

Self-Care Isn't Selfish

Trash Talk Podcast — Episode 2 | Mar. 18, 2025

Episode Summary

In this episode, Erica Breuer and Erin Thomas challenge the common phrase “Self-care isn’t selfish” and explore how the self-care industry’s marketing has shaped our understanding—often turning self-care into an indulgent, performative act. They unpack the dangers of escapism disguised as care, share personal stories of burnout, and offer a more grounded, nuanced view of what real self-care means.

Table of Contents

• Intro
• The Problem with “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish”
• Escapism vs. Real Self-Care
• Personal Stories and Examples
• Reframing Self-Care: Discipline and Hard Choices
• Key Takeaways
• Call to Action

Intro

Welcome to Trash Talk, where hosts Erica Breuer and Erin Thomas unpack worn-out leadership, personal development, and business clichés. Today’s episode dives into the phrase “Self-care isn’t selfish,” examining how self-care has been marketed as an indulgence and what it really means to take care of yourself in a meaningful, effective way.

The Problem with “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish”

Erin opens by explaining how the phrase “self-care isn’t selfish” frames care as something indulgent or extravagant—a “treat yourself” mentality that makes self-care feel like something we’re sneaking or “getting away with.” Erica points out how the rise of the self-care industry has heavily marketed this version of care, especially targeting women, with imagery like bubble baths, spa days, and Instagram aesthetics.

They agree this framing often turns self-care into an excuse for avoidance—escaping life’s challenges through consumptive, performative rituals instead of facing underlying issues.

Escapism vs. Real Self-Care

Erica and Erin discuss how the self-care industry’s messaging can lead people into burnout, even when they’re “doing all the right things” like yoga classes, massages, or healthy meals. These activities become busy work or band-aids rather than true care, preventing deeper reflection or necessary hard choices.

They critique phrases like “protecting my peace” being used to avoid difficult conversations rather than actually maintaining wellbeing. True self-care involves setting boundaries, making tough decisions, and prioritizing health—not just escapes or distractions.

Personal Stories and Examples

Erica shares her experience of burnout despite a rigorous self-care routine, explaining how indulgent acts like chocolate cake were “duct tape” holding her together. Erin highlights rapper Common’s self-care routine, which is disciplined and intentional, involving gratitude, movement, and diet—not escapism.

These stories illustrate how self-care can fuel engagement and energy rather than serve as a numbing or avoidance tool.

Reframing Self-Care: Discipline and Hard Choices

Erin emphasizes that real self-care isn’t indulgent; it’s doing what’s necessary to thrive, even when that’s hard. It’s about prioritizing what fuels you to show up fully, whether that means saying no, setting boundaries, or making lifestyle changes.

Erica adds that self-care can be inherently selfish in a healthy way—because it’s about being honest about your needs before you can serve others.

They close with a lighthearted joke about Red Lobster’s potential new tagline: “Self care is shellfish.”

Highlights

• “The self-care industry has grown into a $13 billion behemoth selling solutions that don’t necessarily solve anything.” —Erin Thomas
• “I was doing all the quote ‘right things’ and still ended up burnt out.” —Erica Breuer
• “Self-care fuels us forward. It’s not something that checks us out.” —Erin Thomas
• “Sometimes self-care is selfish, and that’s okay — it’s about fueling yourself before anything else.” —Erica Breuer

Key Takeaways

• The phrase “self-care isn’t selfish” often frames care as indulgence, creating a performative culture around it.
• The self-care industry’s marketing primarily targets women and often encourages escapism rather than meaningful care.
• True self-care involves hard choices, discipline, boundary-setting, and prioritizing health—not just bubble baths or treats.
• Burnout can happen despite “doing all the right things” if care is superficial or used as avoidance.
• Reframing self-care as necessary and sometimes inherently selfish can help reclaim its power.
• Examples like Common show how intentional, disciplined routines can be authentic self-care.

Call to Action

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to Trash Talk for more honest conversations about personal growth and cultural clichés. Leave a review to help others find the show, and follow Erica and Erin on LinkedIn for updates and insights.

Show Notes & Links

• Follow Erica Breuer: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericabreuer/
• Follow Erin Thomas: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamerinthomas/
• Visit Trash Talk Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2451264
• Related Episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2451264/episodes/16894586