Trash Talk: Where Self-Help Cliches Go to Die
What if the so-called “truths” about growth and success are actually keeping you playing small?
On Trash Talk, hosts Erica Breuer and Erin Thomas unpack empty platitudes and tired cliches that dominate the business and personal development world. These ideas might be popular, but that doesn’t mean they’re useful.
Who listens to Trash Talk?
- Skeptics and Questioners of hollow advice
- Those asking why self-help advice fails
- People done with toxic self-help culture
- Anyone who wants a place to finally talk openly about all the advice that makes you roll your eyes
Trash Talk: Where Self-Help Cliches Go to Die
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Show notes
“You can’t pour from an empty cup”...but what if your cup isn’t empty?
From misreading your cup to questioning learned helplessness, Erica and Erin go beyond individual self-care and discuss the messy (mostly) terrifying context of today’s world—shrinking rights, disappearing resources, and structural chaos–and how we might think about cups in a way that generates some much-needed hope.
Don’t forget to leave us a review and call the hotline to share your favorite or most cringe-worthy cliches:
719-819-2175
Links & Resources
Arley Nevar’s amazing LinkedIn post
Follow Arley Nevar on LinkedIn
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
Trash Talk — Episode 21 | October 2025
Episode Summary
In this episode, Erica and Erin explore the cliché “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and how it applies to self-care, leadership, and collective action. They unpack listener voicemails, share reframes from Zen philosophy and LinkedIn thought leaders, and discuss how to recognize when your cup is truly full.
Table of Contents
- Intro
- Main Topic 1: Reframing “You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup”
- Main Topic 2: Listener Voicemails and Real-World Applications
- Key Takeaways
- Call to Action
Intro
Erica and Erin welcome listeners to Episode 21 of Trash Talk, noting that instead of creating a new reframe themselves, they’ll explore one they spotted in the wild. They’ll look at how common self-help advice—like “You can’t pour from an empty cup”—plays out in real life and how it can be interpreted differently depending on context.
Main Topic 1: Reframing “You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup”
Erica introduces the popular saying, which suggests that if you’re depleted, you cannot effectively support others. She notes its widespread use in Western culture and emphasizes that while the intent is often self-care, the expression can sometimes create guilt or scarcity thinking.
Erin shares a Zen story that shifts the perspective: a scholar visits a Zen master with a full cup of knowledge, and the master pours tea until it spills, saying, “Your cup is full; you must empty it before I can teach you.” The lesson: to receive new understanding, we must let go of preconceived ideas.
Erica and Erin discuss how this connects to personal and professional growth. Erica notes that a new LinkedIn post from Arlie Navar reframes the cliché, suggesting that sometimes your cup is already full—and when it is, it’s not just about preservation but using your capacity intentionally.
They explore the signs of a full cup: engagement, creativity, flow, emotional regulation, and the ability to offer support without feeling drained. Conversely, an empty cup manifests as scattered thinking, reduced creativity, and physical or emotional tension.
Main Topic 2: Listener Voicemails and Real-World Applications
Blythe from Phoenix, Arizona calls in, expressing tension about being the go-to person for answers at work but feeling pressure and isolation. Erica and Erin discuss how staying in a room you’ve outgrown isn’t necessarily negative—it depends on whether you’re there to lead, mentor, or contribute meaningfully. They emphasize assessing motives: guilt or obligation signals it may be time to leave, while purpose-driven engagement signals it may be time to lead differently.
Grace shares her conference story about being told that “doing good work will get you recognized.” Erica and Erin critique this advice, noting it’s outdated and particularly harmful for women. They highlight the importance of visibility, advocating for promoting your work, sharing wins, and building a brand. They emphasize that the work alone does not speak for itself in 2025; proactive communication and recognition are essential.
Erica and Erin also relate these lessons to entrepreneurial and corporate spaces, emphasizing the difference between working quietly and remaining invisible versus actively sharing contributions and opening doors for others.
Key Takeaways
- “You can’t pour from an empty cup” is a nuanced metaphor: sometimes it’s about self-care, sometimes about being open to learning, and sometimes about recognizing fullness and acting intentionally.
- Zen philosophy teaches the importance of emptying preconceived notions to receive new knowledge.
- A full cup shows up as flow, creativity, engagement, emotional regulation, and energy to give without depletion.
- Staying in rooms or roles should be purposeful—assess whether it’s for growth and impact or guilt and obligation.
- Visibility is critical; good work alone doesn’t guarantee recognition, especially for women and underrepresented groups.
- Collective action amplifies individual contributions: fullness can be leveraged beyond yourself.
Call to Action
Subscribe to Trash Talk to keep up with future episodes, leave a review if this episode resonated, and follow Erica and Erin on LinkedIn. Share your own reframes or stories by calling the Trash Talk hotline at 719-819-2175.
Show Notes & Links
- Follow Erica Breuer: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericabreuer/
- Follow Erin Thomas: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamerinthomas/
- Visit Trash Talk Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2451264
- Related Episode: "Self-Care Isn't Selfish" https://www.buzzsprout.com/2451264/episodes/16735649
