Leadership Horizons

The Importance of Self Care to Leadership Resilience

• Lois Burton • Episode 12

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What if the secret to stronger leadership isn't just about being tougher, but about being kinder—especially to yourself? On this episode of Leadership Horizons, I challenge the conventional wisdom around resilience that exclusively focuses on grit and perseverance.

When leaders talk about resilience, they often emphasize toughness while overlooking the transformative power of self-care and self-compassion. Through compelling stories like Michael's—a director whose relentless drive nearly derailed a major transformation until he embraced self-kindness—I reveal how sustainable leadership requires more than just pushing through. Michael learned that treating himself with compassion wasn't soft; it was strategic. As he established boundaries and replaced harsh self-criticism with understanding, his energy, clarity, and creativity flourished, enabling him to lead his team with renewed effectiveness..

The research is clear: leaders who practice self-care demonstrate higher cognitive flexibility, better decision-making under pressure, and greater longevity in challenging roles. Contrary to concerns that prioritizing wellbeing might signal reduced commitment, the evidence shows self-care creates the foundation for ambitious, sustainable achievement. I outline four essential connections between self-care and leadership resilience: preventing burnout, enabling peak performance, creating psychological safety, and enhancing adaptability—especially critical in our rapidly changing world. 

From the healthcare leader who developed a 60-second emotional regulation practice to the crisis management expert who maintained her self-care rituals during organizational emergencies, these practical examples demonstrate how small investments in wellbeing yield extraordinary leadership returns.

What self-care practice have you been neglecting that needs to become non-negotiable?

Try noticing your self-talk this week and offering yourself the same kindness you'd extend to a valued colleague. Your capacity for resilience isn't infinite—it must be intentionally replenished. When you make your wellbeing a priority, you don't just transform your leadership; you model sustainable high performance for your entire organization.

 

Leadership Horizons - Helping You Lead Beyond Boundaries

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Leadership Horizons, where we explore leadership at its most transformative. I'm your host, lois Burton, and my passion lies in developing authentic, confident leaders who can fulfil their potential, increase their resilience and build extraordinary teams. Their potential, increase their resilience and build extraordinary teams. Today, we're focusing on something that's increasingly critical in our complex, demanding world the importance of self-care and how that enhances leadership resilience. When I speak with leaders about resilience, they often think this means focusing exclusively on toughness, grit and perseverance. While these qualities matter, they're only part of the resilience equation. What many leaders overlook is the vital role that kindness and compassion, including self-kindness and compassion, play in building sustainable resilience, both for themselves and their teams and organisations. In my coaching practice, I've witnessed firsthand how leaders who embrace kindness and compassion navigate challenges more effectively and recover from setbacks more quickly than those who rely solely on the traditional tough resilience. But what exactly do we mean by kindness and compassion in leadership? These aren't just nice sentiments. They're powerful approaches with practical applications. Last week, we spoke about leading with love, which, in leadership, means considering the well-being of others in your decisions and actions. It's about creating environments where people feel valued and supported. However, self-care and self-compassion can be the most overlooked aspect, and it's about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a good friend when facing difficulties or failures. When we talked last week about leading with love, I gave you an example of a leader who sustained that through an extremely difficult period, and I also said that had she not really focused on her self-care, that would have been impossible. So let me just share another story that illustrates this connection.

Speaker 1:

I worked with the director we'll call him Michael who was leading his organisation through a major transformation. The pressure was immense and Michael initially responded by doubling down on determination and drive. He pushed himself relentlessly, working longer hours and demanding more from his team. What was the result? Within six months, both Michael and his leadership team were exhausted. They were still pushing through, but decision-making was suffering, conflicts were increasing and the transformation began to stall.

Speaker 1:

In our coaching sessions, it became clear that Michael's approach to resilience was actually undermining what he was trying to do. We shifted focus to incorporate self-compassion into his leadership approach. Michael began to recognize when he was being unnecessarily harsh with himself and learned to replace self-criticism with self-kindness. He established boundaries around his time and energy often the most difficult thing to do but he recognized that his resilience was a resource that needed replenishing. The transformation was remarkable as Michael started to prioritise his own wellbeing, his energy levels improved, his thinking became clearer and he was able to lead his team with renewed focus and creativity. By incorporating self-compassion and self-care, michael built genuine, sustainable resilience for himself and then was also able to encourage his team to do the same. As he role modelled that, they felt that they got permission to do that, so this had a knock-on effect. It's the same thing as we've talked about before in terms of the virtuous cycle or the vicious cycle, and if leaders role model, just toughing it out and getting through, that's what their teams will also believe they have to do. So getting this balance is really, really important.

Speaker 1:

So how exactly does self-care enhance leadership resilience? Based on my work with executives, I've identified four key connections. First, self-compassion prevents burnout. Leaders who practice self-compassion recognize their human limitations and respond to their own struggles with kindness rather than criticism. This prevents the exhaustion cycle that undermines resilience. This prevents the exhaustion cycle that undermines resilience, and in the time that I've worked with executives, I've observed that leaders who practice self-compassion recover from setbacks more quickly and maintain their energy more effectively than those who are harsh with themselves.

Speaker 1:

Secondly, self-care is foundational to sustained leadership performance. When leaders prioritize their physical and mental well-being, they create the conditions for clear thinking, emotional regulation and creative problem solving all essential elements of resilience. I've seen countless examples of leaders who transform their effectiveness by making non-negotiable commitments to their own well-being, whether through exercise, adequate sleep, mindfulness practices or meaningful personal time. But when they did that, things always started to improve. Thirdly, kindness creates psychological safety. When leaders respond to their own mistakes with kindness rather than harsh self-judgment, they create internal psychological safety. This allows them to learn from failures and adapt more quickly to changing circumstances and therefore provide psychological safety for others. We can't provide psychological safety for others if we don't personally feel psychologically safe. And fourthly, compassion enhances adaptability.

Speaker 1:

True resilience isn't just about bouncing back. It's about adapting and growing through challenges. When leaders approach change with self-compassion, they create the emotional space needed for creative responses to emerge. I've spoken a few times about adaptive intelligence as a critical leadership skill for the current time, and I'll be talking about that a little bit more next week. This is all about leaders and teams who can adapt quickly and easily to constantly changing circumstances and environments. Self-care fosters this ability and this skill. Where kindness towards oneself flourishes, so does creativity and therefore the capacity to adapt with ease. So let's have a look on how you can practically incorporate self-care and self-compassion into your leadership.

Speaker 1:

To enhance your resilience, you have to start with yourself. Self-care isn't self-indulgence. It's a practice that builds your capacity to face challenges. Try this notice when you're being harshly self-critical, pause and ask what would I say to a valued colleague in this situation? Then offer yourself the same kindness. One director I coached kept a simple note on her desk that read would I talk to my team the way I'm talking to myself right now? This small reminder helped her break the cycle of self-criticism that was eroding her resilience.

Speaker 1:

Self-care is absolutely fundamental to leadership resilience, yet it's often the first thing sacrificed when pressure mounts. Sometimes we even wear it as an honour badge. You know that we can tough it out, that we can get through. Please don't sacrifice the things that help you stay healthy and energized, even when it feels like everything is spiraling out of control. Your energy and ability to stay well is paramount, because if you become exhausted and burned out, everything will fail. Let me share another example.

Speaker 1:

A senior exec I worked with was known for her exceptional critical leadership skills Not critical leadership skills, I beg your pardon Her exceptional crisis management and leadership skills. What most people didn't see was her disciplined approach to self-care. Even during organizational emergencies, she maintained her exercise routine, protected her sleep, healthy eating and taking breaks. When we discussed this, she explained I don't see this practice as luxuries. They're what enable me to think clearly when everything is chaotic. The more pressure I'm under, the more I need these anchors, the more I need these anchors. Her results spoke for themselves. She consistently made better decisions under pressure than her peers who sacrificed self-care in the name of crisis response.

Speaker 1:

Another aspect of self-care that's often overlooked is emotional regulation. Resilient leaders develop practices that help them process difficult emotions rather than suppressing them or being overwhelmed by them. This might include journaling, talking with a trusted confidant, working with a coach or simply creating space to acknowledge and name emotions before responding to challenges. One healthcare leader I coached developed a simple 60 second practice. Before entering high stressstress meetings, she would acknowledge her current emotional state, take three deep breaths and consciously choose how she wanted to show up. This tiny, tiny bit of time and investment in emotional self-care dramatically improved her resilience in conflict situations.

Speaker 1:

Another essential component of self-care is boundaries. In our hyper-connected world, many leaders feel pressure to be constantly available. Setting clear boundaries around your time, energy and attention isn't selfish. It's necessary for sustainable leadership. Remember your capacity for resilience is not infinite. It must be intentionally replenished. The most resilient leaders I've worked with treat their energy as their most precious resource and invest accordingly in practices that restore them.

Speaker 1:

Some leaders worry that prioritizing self-care might somehow compromise their commitment or effectiveness. In my experience, the opposite is true. When leaders make their wellbeing non-negotiable, they model sustainable high performance for their entire organisation. The research supports this, too. Leaders who practice self-care and self-compassion demonstrate higher levels of cognitive flexibility, better decision-making under pressure and greater longevity in challenging roles. Far from being self-indulgent, self-care creates the foundation for ambitious achievement over the long term.

Speaker 1:

As we navigate increasingly complex business environments, the old model of resilience, based solely on mental toughness and perseverance, is proving inadequate. Leaders who thrive in uncertainty are those who have expanded their resilience toolkit to include self-care and self-compassion. In my work with many executives at the moment, I've seen how this expanded approach creates leaders who not only survive, but thrive through difficulty. So here's my invitation to you this week identify one self-care practice that you've been neglecting, and recommit to it as a non-negotiable part of your leadership approach. Notice what changes as a result, both in your own resilience and in your capacity to lead effectively through challenges. In next week's episode, I'll be returning to the theme of adaptive intelligence, with the most recent thinking on this and how artificial intelligence can support leadership agility. Until then, I'm Lois Burton and this has been Leadership Horizons. Thank you for joining me as we explore how to lead beyond boundaries, because the future of leadership knows no bounds.