Leadership Horizons

Self Awareness Can Be Your Superpower

Lois Burton Episode 34

What if the smartest move a leader can make is to stop solving first? We share a candid story from a senior executive who could out-think any business problem, yet couldn’t keep great people. 

His blind spot wasn’t strategy—it was impact. By noticing the reflex to jump in with answers and learning to pause, ask questions, and make space for his team’s thinking, everything changed. Attrition slowed. Engagement soared. Most importantly, the team felt trusted enough to bring real challenges, not just polished updates.

We dig into why self-awareness is the rarest—and most underrated—leadership superpower. Rather than a destination, it’s a daily practice of noticing patterns, naming triggers, and aligning intent with effect. You’ll hear practical ways to switch from answer-giving to sense-making: the three-question pause, the power of silence, and simple micro-habits that help you read the room without losing momentum. 

We also unpack how awareness amplifies empathy, why your mood sets the weather, and how tiny signals—like glancing at your phone—send messages you may not intend.

To make it actionable, we offer a clear experiment: ask one trusted person two questions—what helps, and what gets in your way—and then just listen. Treat the response as information, not indictment. That’s where real growth starts. Whether you lead a team, a division, or yourself, this conversation will help you move from being a good leader to the leader you aspire to be—one whose presence creates clarity, courage, and ownership. 

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Leadership Horizons - Helping You Lead Beyond Boundaries

SPEAKER_00:

Hello and welcome to Leadership Horizons. I'm Lois Burton and I'm so glad you're here today. Before we start today, I just wanted to say a big thank you for all the feedback and the downloads. Thanks to you, we are now downloaded in 35 countries, which is so exciting. And wherever you are in the world, I'm so happy to have you all with me on this fantastic journey, and I'm thinking of you. Always feel free to get in touch on LinkedIn or on Lois at LoisBurtononline.com if you have questions, anything to share, or you could use some help. So for today's session, we're going to dive into another fundamental quality for transformational leaders and something which can be your real super power. It is? Wait for it. Self-awareness. Now I know what you might be thinking. Self-awareness? Really? That's your big revelation? And yes, I get it. It sounds almost too simple, doesn't it? But here's the thing I've learned. Self-awareness is actually one of the rarest and most powerful leadership tools that there are. Let me tell you a story. About eight years ago, I was working with a senior executive, let's call him David, who ran a division of a major manufacturing company. Fantastic strategist, the kind of person who could see three moves ahead in any business situation. His team respected his intellect absolutely, but there was a problem. People were leaving. Not in droves, but steadily. Good people. And when David's CEO asked me to work with him, David was genuinely baffled. He kept saying, I don't understand it. We're hitting our targets. The work's interesting. I give them autonomy. What more do they want? So in our first session, I asked him a simple question. When someone on your team comes to you with a problem, what's your first instinct? He didn't even hesitate to solve it, he said. That's what I'm there for. And there it was, the blind spot. You see, David had built his entire career on being the smartest person in the room. And he was smart, genuinely brilliant. But he'd never stopped to ask himself a crucial question. What impact does my need to be the solver have on the people around me? We spent the next few months working on this, not changing who David was, but helping him to become more aware of his patterns. How his face would change the moment someone presented a problem. How he'd interrupted mid-sentence because the solution was so obvious to him. How his team had learned to stop bringing him challenges because they felt diminished when he'd immediately tell them what to do. The transformation wasn't about David learning to be less smart. It was about him becoming aware of what his behavior was communicating. And once he saw it, really saw it, everything shifted. He started catching himself, pausing, asking questions instead of giving answers, but creating space for his team to think. Six months later, the exodus has stopped. A year later, his team engagement scores were the highest in the company. And this is what David told me. I thought I was a good leader before, but I was leading blind. I had no idea what I was actually creating around me. That's the thing about self-awareness. It's not about beating yourself up or becoming obsessed with your flaws. It's about seeing yourself clearly and objectively. Your strengths, yes, but also your patterns, your triggers, your blind spots. Because how can you lead others effectively if you don't truly know yourself? I've just started with another cohort of fantastic leaders on my Leading with Resilience program. And self-awareness is our starting point. Because as I said above, we must know ourselves, our strengths, our talents, and our values, but also our limitations, our patterns, our potential blind spots and self-sabotage triggers, and be prepared to explore these with honesty, but without self-judgment. And here's what I've learned: even the most self-aware leaders I work with, even they will tell you that self-awareness isn't a destination, it's a practice. A daily practice of noticing, questioning, and being curious about yourself. I also talk about this with my coaching groups. One of my favorite mantras, and those of you who know me and have worked with me will have heard this a lot. We can't take anyone any further than we are prepared to take ourselves. And it's true. As both leaders and leadership coaches, the first stop on the line is us. Understanding ourselves helps us to then understand others and enable their growth and development. So let me ask you something, and you don't have to answer it out loud, just sit with it for a moment. What's the impact you have on others that you might not be aware of? Maybe it's how your mood affects the room. Maybe it's what happens to your team's energy when you're under pressure. Maybe it's the unintended message you send when you check your phone during conversations. I'm not saying this to make you paranoid. I'm saying it because awareness is the first step to choice. And choice is where your power as a leader truly lives. One of the core values I bring to my coaching is courage, because it takes real courage to look at yourself honestly, to ask for feedback, to sit with the discomfort of realizing you've been creating an effect you never intended. But on the other side of that courage and that discomfort, that's where transformation happens. That's where you move from being a good leader to being the leader you aspire to be. So here's my invitation to you this week. Pick one person you trust, a colleague, a team member, maybe someone outside of work, and ask them this question. What's the one thing I do that has a positive impact on you? And what's one thing I do that might get in my own way? And then, this is the crucial bit, just listen. Don't defend, don't explain, just receive it as the gift it is. Because that's what feedback is when we're truly self-aware. It's not criticism, it's information. Data we can use to become more of who we want to be. I've spent over two decades helping leaders develop their strengths and reach their full potential. And I can tell you with absolute certainty, the leaders who transform their organizations are the ones who first transform their understanding of themselves. Thank you again for joining me today on Leadership Horizons. If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. And please subscribe so we can continue this journey together. Until next time, keep looking at your horizons, keep pushing those boundaries, and most importantly, keep looking inward. I'm Lois Burt, and I'll see you next week.