# 82 - Curtis Pelletier - Neutrality is a slow death

We’re back. And we’re not easing into it.

This episode breaks down one of the most common habits quietly wrecking people’s lives: neutrality.

Sitting on the fence sounds mature. Sounds balanced. Sounds safe. It’s not. It’s delayed decision-making dressed up as intelligence. And over time, it erodes your self-trust, hands your power to other people, and forces you into a reactive life you didn’t choose.

We dig into what’s really behind the “stay neutral” mindset, using recent Canadian polling as the spark. Most people say they want neutrality, yet they’re worried about the exact consequences that come from avoiding decisions. That gap matters.

We also draw a clear line between staying quiet because you’re smart enough to know you don’t understand something… and staying quiet because you’re avoiding responsibility. Those are not the same thing.

There’s a real conversation here about careers, families, and why not everyone can or should be loud publicly. But don’t confuse silence with neutrality. You can be quiet and still be clear. The real test is what you do when nobody’s watching.

If you’ve been avoiding decisions in your health, your relationships, your business, or your life, this one will hit.

Neutral feels safe. It’s not. It’s slow decay.

Time to pick a side.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Good. Great. Talk habits, self-talk, discipline, ego, recovery. What it really takes to stay on offense in your life. You're ready to level up, not just in performance, but in who you are. You're in the right place. This is the mindset you playbook. Let's get to work.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Hey, welcome back. Mindset you playbook. We're back. We're back. It's uh March 18th, 2026. I um took a little break. Took a little break from from the old podcast. Definitely not because I didn't have much to say or anything to say. I did more along the lines of um I had too much to say. And one thing I've learned through work and myself is sometimes you need to shut up long enough to hear yourself think again and you know, kind of let your voice breathe. Do some writing, do some unbecoming, one of my favorite pastimes now. Because if you're uh if you're paying attention, life's got a funny way of stacking up stacking up piles and piles of things that need to be cut out. Okay, I say cut out, not fixed, not improved, cut, cut right out. Every time I go through one of those phases, I guess I feel like I come back a little bit sharper. Maybe I'm a little bit less polite, more accurate for sure, but um, anyway, here we are. Today's topic might rub some people the wrong way. I don't know. Everything seems to fucking bother somebody nowadays, so but whatever. Good, good. Maybe you uh maybe you need to hear this. Because uh, you know, it if you if you if everything you believe makes you comfortable, you're you're probably not thinking. You're just nodding your head, agreeing, sitting on the fence, you know, just going going with the flow. Today we're talking about neutrality, sitting on the fence, not having an opinion, right? Staying out of it. And why that is one of the most dangerous habits you can build into your life. Last morning on the news, this is kind of what got me mind turning on this one was uh six poll, 67% of Canadians said we should remain neutral in what's going on in Iran right now. Okay, neutral. Okay. Sounds nice. Sounds like very Canadian, I think. Sounds calm, reasonable. Safe answers over time create very unsafe lives. Okay, so let's define what neutrality actually is because people dress it up. Okay, people call it or you know, air quote on these ones. I just don't want to get involved, or I don't know enough. I can see both sides. I'm just gonna stay out of it. Okay, that's usually usually what we hear. But I'll tell you what, something I uh I know, I know I was guilty of in the past. You do lean towards one side. You just don't want to say anything because you're not educated enough, you don't want to sound stupid. Fair, fair. Okay, but that means get your head out of your ass on on some some things that are going on in the world, some topics, especially if they seem to be around you all the time. So let's clean that up. Neutrality, just delayed decision making. And well, oftentimes people would, I think, try to disguise that as intelligence. It's almost procrastination of responsibility because we do we all have a responsibility to do our best. We have a responsibility to to make the world the best place possible. Now, I'm not I'm not saying you need to have loud opinions about everything. Okay, in fact, most people should just shut up more often. But this idea that the best position is no position is absolute garbage. Okay, and that's where people start quietly losing control of their lives. Let's bring this closer to home. Okay, forget about global politics and wars and what's going on in other countries. Let's look at our own life for a while. How many times did you stay neutral? When maybe you shouldn't have. Okay, at work, in your marriage, friends, kids, health. You know, you see something off, you feel something off, but you don't say anything. You just sit on it. So what happen what actually happens there? Nothing improves, problems grow, your internal state starts to rot. Here's why. Because you know, okay, and that's the part nobody likes to talk about is that you do know. And when you don't act on what you know, you start losing respect for yourself, okay, quietly. Not dramatic. Just it just starts leaking. It's a slow leak. That's the first cost of cost of neutrality is self-trust erosion. Every time you don't take a stand where you should or you could, you chip away your own foundation. Well, people wonder why they feel anxious or stuck or in a fog. Okay, it's not complicated. You've trained yourself to not to act on truth. The second cost. You give your power away. Because if you don't choose, someone else is going to make that choice for you. Always. Business, relationships, government, culture, neutral people don't usually stay neutral. They end up living lives inside someone else's decision. That sucks. Because you do know and you do have a choice, you do have a voice. Imagine if everybody, you know, not again, not screamed, not held up signs, not posted bullshit on social media, but it said the truth, said what was real. That would be way better. Don't you think? Third cost. You become reactive instead of proactive. When you don't take positions early, you're forced to deal with consequences later. Okay? Now you're behind defense. I've always said, I've always preached, and I've learned to live my life on offense, not on defense. When you're living life on defense, you're emotional, you're rushed, you're reacting instead of thinking. Neutrality puts you in a defensive position over time. You want to live on offense, you want to be on offense? Say something. Now let's go back to the poll, the uh the news story I saw this morning. 67% of Canadians say we should stay neutral. At the same time, 70% are worried about terrorism, 69% are worried about military involvement, 91% are worried about gas and food prices, 82% are worried about economic collapse. So let's get this straight. You're worried about the consequences, but you want to stay neutral on the cause. Okay, that there's a zero wisdom behind that. That's pure avoidance. Okay. Again, defensive position. And I get it, okay? A lot of complex stuff going on. Global conflict is messy. Okay. History, politics, misinformation everywhere. But complexity does not remove responsibility. It increases it actually. You need to think, you need to have a voice, you need to have an opinion, you need to find the right information, not just read the damn headlines. Now, let's add a layer people don't talk about enough. There's a line. And it's it's a real line. I've got friends, good people, real good people. I've I've been on the phone with lots of people in the last couple weeks, talking about a lot of issues, talking about their place, their role, what they can do, what they think, what I think, etc. Who don't post their opinions publicly. Okay, they're not jumping online, they're not arguing about shit, they're not waving flags, they're barely talking about it in public. Here's why. They have careers, they've got businesses, they've got families that rely on them. Saying the wrong thing publicly can cost people a lot. Okay, that's real. That's not weakness, so just because people aren't posting about it doesn't mean they don't have an opinion, or that doesn't mean that they're not doing things behind the scenes. Okay, there's a level of understanding consequence involved. But let's not confuse being loud with being neutral either, because those aren't the same thing. You can be quiet and you can still be very clear and precise. You can keep your opinions off social media and still live them out every single day. Okay, and core values and who you surround yourself with and the way you treat people. Just because I post things and I talk about things doesn't mean it's the way it should be or it's the way I think it should be. It's my uh part of my job. I have an opinion. I'm a coach. People want to hear what I think. Some people really could give a shit what I think and don't agree with what I think, but that's fine too. The real test is not what you post, it's what you do when nobody's watching. Okay. Do you vote? Do you take care of your own house? Do you live by core values? Do you stand up in the small moments? Do you say something when it actually matters? Or even uncomfortable? Do you make decisions out of line with what you believe? Even if nobody gives you credit for it. Because that's where character actually shows up. There's not looking for character online. Anyone can post anything online. So we have that number from today, 67%. Then we have another number that matters in Canada. In the last federal election, only about 62, 63% of eligible voters actually voted. That means roughly 37, 38% did not. Over a third of adults opted out of voting. So you've got a country where most people say stay neutral, and a massive portion of people don't even show up for the most basic form of participation. Okay, this is not a coincidence. This is a culture. This is a culture problem. And culture. Culture is just repeated behavior. There's an old idea worth maybe keeping in your back pocket. When you refuse to decide, you still decide. You just hand the outcome to somebody else. And most of the time, that's the worst possible move. So let's bring it back to bring it back to the people that say a lot, but know jack shit. Because this is where people screw it up in the other way. If you don't know what you're talking about, Zipat. And I'm not even talking about politics. I'm not talking about climate. I'm fucking anything. Anything. Good lord. I get sent hitting videos with crazy ass voiceovers of kids hitting and full breakdowns, like they're in mid-season of a 162-game big league season. It's scary because there's so much information out there that can be glanced at, written down, reproduced, AI can produce it for you. You can say it, and you can think you fucking know something. That's not the case. Not having an opinion because you're uninformed. We've just got too many people right now with very strong opinions. And you might say, well, that's a pretty strong opinion. Aren't we talking about opinions? Yeah, we are. There's a difference. I'm educated. Like I and yeah, I'll say that. I'll say that without even fucking smirking. There's too many people out there running their mouth about things they don't know. Okay, based on headlines, based on clips, based on fake news, based on half-ass information. Okay, it's it's that's not thinking. It's emotional outsourcing. I like this distinction. Silence because you're ignorant is smart. Silence because you're avoiding is dangerous. Okay, two completely different things. But people blur them to stay comfortable. So there's three levels, three levels, um, simple framework here. Okay, we can go through. Level one, you don't know anything. Okay, cool, awesome. Ask questions, read, learn, zip it. Perfect. Easy one. Level two, you know enough to see patterns. Okay, now now you're now there's some responsibility. Now you start forming positions. Okay, not loud, not emotional, but there's some clarity there. Then level three, okay, you're directly affected. Your family, your money, your future. Now, neutrality is not an option. Now you must take a stand, even if it's uncomfortable or unpopular. Indecision is a decision. It's a very conscious decision. And that's the absolute worst decision you can make. So let's bring this back to you again. Because if this just stays at the level of politics, Canada or very, very big global issues, you'll nod your head and change nothing. Where are you being neutral right now that you shouldn't be? Be honest. Is it your health? You know what you need to do, but maybe you're waiting for the right time? Okay, that's that's neutral. Is it a relationship? Something off, communication's off, respect is off, but you're avoiding the conversation? Okay, that's neutrality. Is it your business? Is it your job? You know a decision needs to be made. Something needs to be cut, something needs to change, somebody needs to speak to somebody, but you're sitting on it because it's just very uncomfortable. Neutral. What about somebody else's health? Is it your business? Is it your place to say something? Is it your place to step up and insert yourself and try to try to help them? Sounds like you're being neutral. If you're not, say something. You know, if you really, really feel that way, if that fits with your core values of helping people, say something. If they tell you to beat it, then hey, at least you said something. I tried today, maybe I can try again next week. Maybe they'll listen to me. But that's the thing is that taking a stand, it might cost you. You might lose people. You might be wrong. You might have to adjust. Oh, good, good. That's called being alive. It's called being engaged. Neutrality feels like safety, but it's actually just delayed exposure. You don't you don't avoid consequences, you just push them forward. You're deferring, making them bigger. So I'm I'm not telling you what position to take on global issues. That's not the point of this. The point is if something matters, if it affects your life, if it touches your values, you don't you don't get to sit on the fence forever. You either step in or you accept that you're stepping back. There's no third option there. So we'll wrap it up like this. Most of us don't need more information. Okay, especially about the basics. You know, for again, if we're talking about massive global issues and you're chiming in with an opinion based off something you saw on TikTok, again, shut up. But basic stuff, health, jobs, relationships. We don't need more info. We need more courage. Because deep down, okay, you already know where you stand. You're just afraid to get in there and say it. So if you're looking for a challenge, if you're looking for something to do, here's your work. Simple. Write down three areas in your life where you've been neutral. Not because you're learning, but because you're avoiding. And then pick one, just one, and make a decision. Have the conversation, set the boundary, take the action. Clarity builds confidence. Action it's gonna build capacity. And both of those destroy that quiet, slow decay. That comes from being a fence sitter. Also, remember this. Everybody is so goddamn busy with their own lives. They will hear you for about 10 seconds and then go back to complaining about their Starbucks being cold. So say the words, man. Say the words. Do the thing, stand up, make a choice. Mindset you playbook. We are back. We got lots more coming. We got good guests, we got some great people coming on. Obviously, lots to talk about the world, sports, people, decisions, mental health, shit, you name it. Okay. As always, we're not playing it safe here.