Breaking Inherited Limitations: Rewriting the Story You Were Given

In this deeply honest and transformational episode, Christy Russell-Strong sits down with Tiyon L Simpson to discuss breaking inherited limitations, overcoming mental health struggles, healing from internal battles, and building a life beyond survival mode.
Together, they unpack generational patterns, mindset shifts, identity, emotional healing, purpose, and what it really takes to rise above the environments and beliefs that try to define us.
This episode is for anyone who has ever felt stuck, overlooked, emotionally exhausted, or afraid they could never become more than what they came from.
You are capable of building a different future.

Connect with Tiyon L Simpson:
Facebook:
Facebook Profile
Instagram:
@tiyonlsimpson
LinkedIn:
LinkedIn Profile
YouTube:
TLS E Vision YouTube Channel
The Life of Someone Extraordinary Podcast:
🎧 Listen on Spotify
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Welcome to this episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence. I'm Christy, Christina, your host, and I have with me today. My name is Teon. Teon L Simpson. It's a pleasure to join you today, Christy. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. Thank you so much for taking your time to share with us your expertise, your story. Looking forward to everything you have to share with us and how it can help our listeners. Okay. Thank you so much. And I'm sure it'll even help it'll even help me, right? So let's let's jump right in. I I want to hear about your story. Can you share a bit about your background and what shaped you you and your journey up to this point?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Yeah, okay. I'll give you the condensed version and we can always kind of just go into it a bit more. So as you can hear, I'm from the UK. I'm originally from London, born and bred, um, born and bred Londoner. My heritage, uh I'm a second generation Jamaican immigrant. Um, my mum was born in Jamaica, came to the UK in the late 1980s. My dad was born in the UK. Well, my entire family is from Jamaica. Um, grew up entirely in the UK. Um, I have lived in the UK or did live in the UK for 36 years of my life, and then got married, got married in 2021 to a lovely lady from Bulgaria. And uh, we decided after many years of um, you know, I was working in corporate. I used to work in the city of London uh with some fairly prestigious financial services companies and wealth managers. Um, like most corporate people, got fed up with the lifestyle, got fed up with the uh with the the just you know, every all things corporate, and decided this is something that most normal people do, and that's pack up all of our stuff, take our children, and move to Bulgaria. So that's exactly where how we've ended up. But the reason for coming here was twofold. So we've always had dreams of becoming entrepreneurs, myself and my wife, and uh between us we have three companies, uh, one of which we run together. Yeah, one of which we run together. Branding and marketing agency, international branding and marketing agency called Material Media. Uh, the second one is my own company called TL Simpson Enterprises. Within that, I host my own podcast called The Life of Someone Extraordinary, and I produce other um literature, digital products, other content-related stuff. I also have my own consultancy, again in the branding and marketing space, but mine is kind of more on a one-to-one personal level, whereas the business, the Zotero Media business, is more for companies, but it's more B2B. And then finally, and I'll and I won't talk about my wife's business, but my wife has her own uh health and wellness business as well. And we have been able to um gain the space to be able to do that by making a big sacrifice of living a fairly comfortable-ish life in the UK, coming here to Bulgaria and you know, living the dream of doing it ourselves and becoming entrepreneurs. So that's the that's the long wow. There's lots and lots of things, things that have happened in between. So I'm looking forward to to breaking that down with you.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

That's that's an amazing story. Um, I've always loved the idea of going to a different country, you know, taking my family to a different country. So that's amazing. You and your wife have been able to do it. Love to hear about your success. Um, there in Bulgaria with your three companies. I love it. Love to see it. Um, we when you talk about breaking inherited limitations, right? What does that mean for you and your personal experience? How did you do that?

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Right. That this is a big one for me. So um, I grew up with the expectation that if you are a child of an immigrant or if you're an uh if your parents or family are from an immigrant background, um you have a set or linear path that you are meant to follow in your life, which generally means you go to school, you don't you don't sky school, you don't bunk off from school, you get really good grades, i.e. A's, nothing less than an A is is is good enough. You go to university naturally, yeah. And you you um go to university, you get a job, you retire, and then you die. That is pretty much the the the set path that is probably expected of um of the child of an immigrant in a in a say a western country per se. Now I'd realised quite quickly that that was very much the case when I started to develop other interests whilst I was growing up. So one when I was young, I was very much into music. Um I'm still into music now, but I was uh developing as a musician. Uh I was also very good at uh for you guys in America, I was very good at soccer, so football in the UK. Um and um the the the idea of inherited limitations that first came when um I'd realised at a quite a young age that I was I was quite good at at playing at playing football. So I knew that this was something I potentially wanted to pursue, wanted to be a professional athlete, like most most young boys want like want to do. And in when I kind of present came to my my my mum with the idea, um, because when we were when we were when I was young, I kind of grew up with a in a single parent household. And so I came to my mum with the uh with the idea, and immediately it was shut down straight away. It was just like no, not even uh a maybe a little N and a little O, yeah, exactly. Not even like a little O, it was a big capital N, capital O, full stop, no, full stop, no. And I was thinking about this before I came before I uh joined the call today. I was thinking about how did that decision affect how I see limitations in my life? Because what I didn't realize, well, that first no of something that I knew that I was good at and talented at almost set the precedent for pretty much everything else over the next 20 years without even realizing it. All right. So that that moved from soccer through to music. Music was the next one, so I developed as a musician and um I knew that I could potentially potentially pursue music as a career as an instrumentalist. Uh and again, the answer to that question was no, you'd no, no, and again, something else you're good at, you can't do it. And whilst all this was going on, um I was oh I was decent at school. I did I got okay-ish grades, kind of a few A's here and there, but mostly B's and C's, right? And I knew quite inherently that I, you know, some some people are just not built for academia. And I'd realized quite quickly that I was not built for academia. I had a bet I had a best friend in school, uh, another again, another uh child of an immigrant, his parents this time were from India, uh, very, very smart guy. Um, and um, we were best friends in school, and um, I think being around that level of intelligence helped me, you know, you are you are who you hang around with, right? So being amongst someone with that level of intelligence helped me to at least kind of pretend that I had some some kind of level of academic, you know, uh pedigrees, basically. Yeah, yeah. Um then it became obvious that you know, for for him in particular, you know, he was quite gifted in this area, and you know, no surprise, you know, as we're adults now, he's doing very well with his career. And um, but for me, it didn't some there was a disconnect. Something wasn't something wasn't the math wasn't mathing if we were going to use it more. Right, right, right. Yes. So the cut a long story short, it was almost like these barriers, invisible barriers that I felt were being put in place throughout not just my my time in school, but as I developed a as I developed a career, I didn't really start my career until I was in my mid-20s. Um, so the big gap between say leaving school and starting a career, I always felt in my subconscious somehow that I wasn't allowed to push past either what was expected of me, or if I was good at something, I was always expected to be shut down.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

So to kind of you had a box to fit in, right? Just output.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Precisely.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Anything outside, no, no, it's no, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

So it's almost like you're you're kind of having to battle between that feeling of I know I'm worth more than this, I know I can achieve more than this, but something either it's your own limitations or the influence of the people around you, your teachers, your your bosses, your colleagues, whatever, is keeping you within that box. And what does it take to break free, which hopefully we'll we'll explore later in the conversation? That's kind of the basic idea.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Thank you so much because I think you you speak to so many people. I know I have several friends who are um children of immigrants and they have that same age all the way. You can be a lawyer, engineer, a doctor, doctor, pharmacist, maybe, but anything outside of that isn't a real job, right? It's not even a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Exactly, exactly. And I was told, I was told that if you didn't follow that that path, you would end up either sweeping the streets, you'd be a bin man, you'd be working in McDonald's. That that was that was you're you're gonna be all you're gonna be on the streets.

unknown 9:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

That that was that was that was the opposite alternative.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Full stop. So thank you so much for sharing that. Um I I I didn't have that same background with where career-wise, I had a box, but um religiously had a box, right? And I was personally and so uh things outside of that, right? We're all a full no, you know, no, you don't want you don't want to pursue this because it's giving too much attention to yourself, you don't want to become abundant because you know that's being materialistic, you know. So so I I I I get it to an extent. I get it. I get it.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

And I just touched on that last thing you just said for just one second. Yes, that element yes, just for one second. Sorry to deviate, but I also had a I also had a religious upbringing or uh a church uh upbringing, right? And it was I'm I'm I'm thinking it's more cultural because you've just said exactly the same thing that that element of wanting abundance or wanting wealth or wanting success for your life was seen as ungodly, or it was seen as as covetousness, it was seen as something that we don't, we as in we the culture, right? We don't pursue that because God wants us to be poor, or it's like you know, we that there's almost like a glorification of the struggle, right? My mom struggled in Jamaica, yeah. My mom struggled in Jamaica, we we struggled for a long time in uh in the UK, and again, that's another aspect of it, but even still, it's almost like that mindset of we need to be poor because God wants us to be poor is a lie.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Absolute lie. And it took me getting out of the religion to realize how much of a lie that was. Really, to be honest with you, it's bringing shame on his name because this is an abundant God, a God who who made all of this for us to enjoy, but he wants us to struggle. And and and so, yeah, thank you so much for that. Um, so so now we're gonna talk about a little bit about family, gener more about generational patterns. Uh, what are and you talked about this, right? You talked about this. What were some beliefs around money? And we talked, we started talking about this, right? But we're now we're gonna get into it more, right? So, what are some specific beliefs around money, relationships, excess success? Sorry, that you needed to unlearn in order to get to where you and your family are now.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

All right, let me just touch on the foot. Let's just revisit the first one, what we've just which we were what we were just talking about. This this this this horrible, horrible lie that that having money or desiring wealth is evil. Yes, that that for me the the big wake-up call came when I was probably around 19 or 20. And um I um always knew that I'd had this desire that I I did not that I deserved. Okay, okay, let's put it this way because I was I wasn't a a a Christian or believer at the time, I was very much out living my life doing my thing at the time. I always had this thing that I think selfishly, I deserved more. I deserved more than what I was having at the moment. And what I was finding was that because I'd believed all of those lies when I was a kid and and believing that you know wanting to be rich was bad, I had struggled with you know uh poverty in my early adulthood for quite for quite a long time. And it was the a difficult mindset to break out of because it's like, well, the the the little wages that you're getting for the job you're doing, you need to be you need to be happy with that, even though you know you pay your rent, pay your bills, and whatever, and you're left with you're left with nothing. You're you're kind of just scraping by and yes, it's struggling. It's struggle, it's it's struggle, you know. No, you know, struggle is it's not it, it doesn't feel good to struggle. No one, no one really wants to struggle. Um you're dying to say something. I'll let you I'll let you speak into the go.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I apologize to cut in there, but it's it's it's labeled as endurance, right? Endurance until God feels like it's time to bless you with more, or if he never feels like it's okay because you've got to know there is an element of truth to that.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

There is an element of truth to that though, because I do believe that there is some element of character building and endurance that comes with suffering. That's a Christian combat. That's a Christian conversation, but we'll get to that in just a moment. But in terms of financially things and things that we need to unlearn, right? The first thing that needed to be broken was money is evil or having money is evil, or have being successful is evil. It's wrong, it's a lie. That's one of the first things. If we're gonna talk about generational curses, that's one of the first things. I have two daughters, that's one of the first things I tell my kids, or when they grow up to understand, I'm not gonna tell them that they need to suffer and be poor. I need to tell them that God wants to bless them, and through that blessing will come wealth. Yes, you know. If we think about if you know, if um for those of you that aren't that aren't Christian or whatever, I'll just use some examples from the Bible, right? There are some uh famous figures in the Bible, such as Abraham, for example, or Joseph, or you know, David, Solomon, so many others, right? Jacob. These were not poor people, they were not beggars, they were not peasants. Abraham was like the rich Abraham would have been the equivalent of a billionaire in biblical times. Yes, right, yes. So it's not, it's not, it's not the it obviously, you know, to kind of bring it back a little bit. I don't believe it's it's everybody's destiny to become wealthy. I don't I don't believe that's true at all. But if God is giving you, you know, again to what I said before about you know utilizing what you're good at, you know, your gifts and your talents that I felt when I was a kid were being suppressed, right? But if you you know once you're an adult, you grow up, you unlearn these things, and then they you know you realize that hang on a second, I've got a lot that I can give to to the world and to help people and to grow businesses and to make you know make things a better place, right? Right, why would I not reap the rewards of doing that? Am I gonna work for free? You know, am I you know, as you say in the same UCAB, I've got mug written on my forehead. No, I haven't, no right. You are gonna you are gonna be rewarded. If you if say, for example, if I did something good, if uh something good for you, right? Would you not want to reward me or pay me for the exactly? So the context is the same thing. So that was the first thing that needed to be unlearned, especially about money. Okay, the second thing, which I think is really, really important, that there definitely needed to be unlearned was that there is, it doesn't matter where you're from, so black, white, yellow, purple, doesn't matter where you're from in the world, right? There is no set path for everybody to follow, right? If academia doesn't work for you, right, it doesn't mean that you're a failure, or it doesn't mean that your life is over, you're not gonna you know be destined to work in McDonald's or or sweep the roads or whatever. There's no shame on people to actually do that because everyone's gonna make a living, right? But it doesn't mean that your life is over and you don't need to kind of just start throwing your life away. We are now we are almost blessed in a way that we're in an age now where technology, um, I'm a very strong advocate of AI, uh, where AI, technology, all these things that we have available to us now, people can grow and start amazing businesses from them. You know, I think you know, the life of an entrepreneur is not an easy one. It's not something I would say, oh hey, look, just become an entrepreneur, you're gonna make money. It's not, it's hard, it's very, very hard. But what you what you do have now, if say, for example, you got you know, apps and and you or you didn't even go to school or whatever, is that you can still start to grow something, even if you don't perceive yourself to be as you know intelligent as everybody else, it that doesn't matter. The idea of starting a business or at least starting a um or project, even is essentially find a problem that needs solving and solve it and get paid for it. You don't need to be you don't need to be a rocket scientist to be able to do that, right? So yeah, that was the second thing that I needed to unlearn. And finally, one last thing that I needed to unlearn. I'd probably say the aspect of um believing, having real belief that you are allowed to shine and really demonstrate who you are to the world. I will say something that might be more specific to the black community, right? Globally. Globally, globally, globally, globally, because this is everywhere. I'm I mean, I you know, my work covers people from everywhere, but if I'm speaking to let's let's let's just speak to black folk for just a moment, right? Just for a moment, right? There's a very famous saying um in Jamaica that says, what you hear here, what you see here, what you I think what you feel here, what you touch here, let it stay here, or don't come back here. What that means is what that means is that you keep your business in your home. You don't go out telling people stuff, you don't go out, you know, being um what's the word, extravagant or or or being out there or whatever. If you are trying to really make a success of yourself or at least be visible or put yourself out there, you need to be able to speak up and be visible. It goes against the it goes against the opposite of what we've been taught, right? Where we're being taught maybe by our parents or our grandparents that we need to be private, we can't we can't we can't be too open, but yet we're in an age now where without visibility you're gonna really really struggle to uh to kind of get yourself out there because of all the competition. So it's almost like it's something else that goes against culture. And I know a lot of people don't like to go against culture, they have a loyalty to culture, right? You know, I'm very proud of I'm proud of my heritage, I'm proud of who I am, I'm proud to be a black man doing this right, but a lot of what I need to do in order to succeed to help my family in order to grow to grow my businesses is countercultural. Yes, and for some people that's that's scary. That's like I I the thought, the idea of doing that is is is um is almost like a portrayal, but it's almost like it's one of those things you kind of have to just set back.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

Yes, wow, I've never heard it put that way, like you know, like it's because I don't even think that in my mind I thought I was being culturally little. It was just ingrained, right? It was just you know, what happens here stays here in the home, right? Don't don't don't you don't need to be telling everybody about your blessings, you know, that that could cause people to feel bad about themselves or this and that, or and and really it could be a testimony to them, right? That that that it is possible no matter where you come from. You can be absolutely a walking testimony to God's glory and mercy and and and abundance. So yeah, I I didn't think of it like that. Thank you very much for that perspective. Like I didn't think about being culturally loyal, but I have been in so many ways to the religious culture, to the black culture, yeah, you know, all of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

And um, sorry, just to add one more thing. I mean, you know, those two things in particular, you know, that shaped that shaped a lot of our upbringing. Many of us grew up in church, many of us um are obviously very much loyal to the culture. So you don't want to be seen as you know. I personally know what it's like to be perceived as not part of the culture, or you know, an uncle Tom or whatever. I don't see myself like that, right? But you know, by by demonstrating behaviors that maybe aren't typical, basically, where uh let me just give one one example. Um uh why why why are you uh why are you getting a job in a in a bank, for example, in in a in a private bank full of old rich white people, right? You know, that's maybe another example. Or why do you uh why do you talk in a certain way? Why don't you like to use oh use a little bit of British sang here? Like, what are you saying? Like, why are you not talking like they're saying it like yeah? Why don't you talk with a more of a hood twang to your voice?

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Yeah, it's almost like there's these well, you know, we're gonna talk about stereotypes. It's almost like there's obviously this the stereotype, stereotypical part of the culture, but then also there's the cultural part of the culture where you know where you're kind of not having to adhere to particular stereotypes, it can make things harder, but then also at the same time, um there needs to be a certain level of conviction. How much, how much do you want to succeed versus what are you know people gonna say about you? Right. Are you almost like are you willing to kind of go against what you believed or what your culture or your your religious influence has done to you in order to kind of create a better life for yourself or to really live in that abundant life that God has promised us? And for the many people they don't do it because of that very reason. It's almost like I don't want to be, or I'm gonna say it, I don't care what people say, but I'm not I'm scared of not feeling like I'm black anymore, or I'm scared of feeling like I'm not um black enough Christian enough anymore. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You know what I mean? So it's all of it, all of it.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Yeah, thank you so much for that because in our home, neither one of us are considered to be typical black people. You know, um, whether it's because of how we talk or how we act or don't act, you know. Um, and so I I kind of grew up with that idea like, oh, you're not black enough, you know, you're not you talk, you I I've had I've had white people say I'm more white than them. Yeah, and so I completely resonate with that. Um but it's taken some time to really embrace like I'm quirky, yes, I'm different, but embracing that, right? Yeah, embracing that. Um, so thank you so much for sharing that perspective. When did you realize? Was it around 1920 that you needed to break those patterns, or has it been a continual process throughout the years?

SPEAKER_00 22:42

I would yeah, so that's a really, really, really good question. So I would probably say the the realization that I think needed to change was when I turned I was about I was about 26. Okay I'll show a very very quick story. So I was working in uh uh in a facility working in a facilities role uh for a big global um catering company. Um and um one thing I didn't realise at the time was that because obviously I was working facilities, it gave me access to every single department and every single area of the um of the company. So I'm one minute, you know, in when I'm doing the um the post in the morning, for example, I'm going to um the legal department, or I'm going to global HR, or I'm going to the CEO's office. I'm you know having conversations with the people that make the decisions within the company. Right. So what I didn't actually realize uh from my experience of of doing that was that you know everybody in the company, or at least the people that mattered in the company were noticing the work that I was doing, even though I was in a what I would say as a lowly facilities type role, right? But again, I didn't kind of realize that at the time. But then you know, I'm thinking to myself, do you know what? I I want to get paid, but I want to do good, you know. It's just like I don't want to just um you know, I want to be able to, I want to be able to keep this job. I'd had a lot of problems with keeping jobs, and and I'm I'm quite a com you know, I'm quite a combustible character. I've mellowed a bit since I've had kids, but younger I was quite combustible and I used to get angry very, very quickly and lose my temper with with with people really like very like a hair triggers notice. Like that, okay especially at work. You know, if someone rubbed me the wrong way or said something the wrong way, I would just go go go ham with these guys. Like it's just like no. But I knew that with this job, I knew it's like I wanted to kind of do something different. It's like, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of bring rein things in a little bit, try not to get so offended and and try and do a good job. Anyways, about a year or so I was doing this job, and you know, I got to uh got you know friendly and familiar with the you know the most powerful people in the company, and in the end, uh an opportunity came up uh where um they needed some uh some legal documents to be couriered from the UK to Singapore at like a moment's notice. Uh this was in 2023. I was no 2013, sorry, 2013. I was 25 years old at this time. And um, and normally at this point, if someone needs to actually physically go somewhere, because they couldn't send it by courier because they couldn't get there in time, so they actually needed to put someone on a plane to go to Singapore to drop these documents off. So they first asked uh the management of our department, none of them could do it. And then I was working with two other guys at the time, one of them was married with a kid, so he couldn't go, and the other one that the they the team didn't really like anyway. But then I'd heard from the CEO's office that the PAs have said, get Tion, get Tion to go. Wow, wow, and uh next thing I know, I'm going up to HR getting instructions, I'm going up to the CEO's office, and they're like, Yeah, no, you were the only person we wanted to go and do this, you deserve it. Go. So I got almost like I even though it was just a um uh basically it was just carrying documents in a in a in a bag, put me on it, you know, put me on a first-class flight to uh to Singapore. Singapore to Singapore, yeah, to Singapore, and um dropped the documents off, and I got a four-day holiday out of it for free. That for me was that for me was yeah, that was it was it was an incredible experience, and Singapore's a great place, and um that for me was the defining moment where it was just like I'd finally broken that realization that I actually have value and people can recognize it, important people can recognize it. Yes, so it's almost like that. My self-esteem kind of took a huge boost after that, and then I kind of realized hang on a second, I don't need to settle for for for for for low standards anymore. I don't need to put myself in this position where clearly what I thought in terms of wanting better for myself, it's now finally being recognized through the work I'm doing through important people at a big company. So, through that, it got me thinking, what do I really want to do with my life? Okay, so my new friends in in the higher ups in this company were like, Um, have you thought about what you want to do with your life? And I was like, Well, no, not particularly. I haven't really, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't do so well in school, and uh, you know, I've just been going from job to job to job, and I haven't really got any kind of direction in my life. And um, and I thought so maybe I could apply for a better job within the company, and I did, but then um the lady interviewing me, she said, uh no, uh, not because we don't want you, because we didn't think you're good enough to do the job, it's because we just maybe need someone else a little bit more qualified. Here's an idea for you why don't you go? You keep this job, what you're doing at the moment, but why don't you go to adult college or go to um I don't know what you guys call it in America, like uh like a college value.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Community college? Community college, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Yeah, go to go to community college. Yeah, why don't you go to community college and get a qualification? Okay, and um, and that's exactly what I did. So I ended up leaving that job because um, again, through um reasons I won't explain now, there was another falling out, but for different reasons. Um but I ended up taking the advice, getting um the qualification in business administration. I went to college for six months, got a certificate, and then uh through that I was able to get a job with a uh with a self-storage company. Uh I did that for three years, and then at that point, that's when I got a job, uh, my first job in banking. Um, and then from then that's when my corporate career started. I was in corporate for eight years after that. Well, you know, the people I was uh surrounded by real, like real high achievers, they've been to like the top universities in the UK, client level of clients. I mean, I've never seen so much money in my life. You know, I've I'm I'm dealing with people that will call you upright, and you know, you hear like a Russian accent on the end of the phone, you're like, Yeah, I want to spend 11 million pounds on a property. And I'm thinking, you're asking me to make my transaction for you. Little me, like you know, just little me that didn't think he could do anything. And it's almost like it's almost about realization that you know what there is more. There is more, there's so much more than what your our tiny little minds are are are telling us that we can we can achieve and what we can do. And honestly, it's I mean it's been from strength to strength since then, but I mean obviously there have been some up and downs, especially in the corporate world. But um, I would certainly wouldn't be where I am now having the belief to uh you know be an entrepreneur, you know, at least start this, you know, continue this journey of growing these businesses without that experience and self-belief that hey, hang on a second, you can do this. God is saying you can do this, so damn it, do it.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Yes, yes, you are capable, you are worthy and deserving. That that that wow, well, thank you so much for sharing that story of how you know how you've gotten to this point and opened your mind to your value. Um, I know you mentioned that mental health isn't talked about enough, you know. And and I wholeheartedly agree with you across the board, right? Um, I feel like it's talked about more than it used to be, but still not nearly enough. Absolutely. Um what has that journey looked like for you personally? What are some of the biggest internal struggles? Maybe if you feel comfortable to share with us.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Yeah, I am, I am, and that's one of the reasons why I'm um you know willing to you know come on podcasts like these and talk about things like life and mental health because I think that these conversations need to be spoken about. Um now I have been um I'm trying to put this in a more constructive way. I have had issues with uh depression in particular, pretty much for as long as I can remember. I first realized that I was um sad. It's probably the way to start it. I realised I was sad probably around about 11 or 12. But then I didn't really think it was a problem per se. It was just like, okay, I know that I'm kind of feeling more down than I'm feeling up and more lively, but I didn't realize that it was an issue, and then I think the the actual realization that I was depressed took hold was probably around 13 or 14. Okay, that culminated in uh my later teenage years and early adult years of um a lot of what I'd like to say a lot of wild behaviour. Um I won't go into too much detail as to kind of what went on, but you know, let's just say a lot of alcohol, a lot of drugs, a lot of partying, a lot of women, a lot of crazy, crazy behavior was was going on um to kind of placate the the feeling of trying to find some sort of meaning or happiness in our life. Right. Yeah, yeah. Um things took a much, much darker turn when I sort of turned 2021, um, which is when I um first attempted suicide. Um this is a story I this is this this first instance was the story that's a story I like to tell because um I was in my flat at the time, and um someone had called the police, they'd come and they took me to the local hospital not far from where I was living at the time. And um I was being treated, and uh next thing I know, um there was this doctor, this uh this African guy, uh sort of cars. And what he said to me, uh you know, this was you know, I'm almost 40 now, so almost you know, 20 years later, it's still I can still hear his voice. I remember exactly what he said. And he said to me, What's wrong with you? Why are you doing this to yourself? Are you having a bad day or something? You know, maybe you're just you know, everybody's feeling sad, you know. What is wrong with you? Pull yourself together. And that was a doctor that said that, you know, and I'm you know, this this young guy going through a pretty drive experience, and yeah, and it's just like I'm hearing that, but then why I've told you this is because it kind of spans into again, we're gonna talk about c again talk talk go back to talking about culture, right? I we are we're coming from a generation of of people, i.e. our parents and grandparents, that don't believe they don't actually believe that mental health is a thing, they don't believe that uh you know, unless you are like actually like crazy, like or schizophrenic crazy or like physically looky crazy, then there's no there's nothing in between, right? Right. You're either normal or you're so excuse my language, you're batshit crazy, right? Yeah, so we are dealing with with with with with with a generation of people that don't talk about their feelings, they suppress a lot of their emotions, it comes out in quite sometimes quite violent and quite um destructive ways. Um and being of a uh you know quite young at the time and not understanding that it was actually healthy to talk about your problems or at least you know seek counselling, therapy, all these kind of things, it was unheard of. It's like a there's like a like a stigma or a shame attached to realizing that you needed help. But then I'm in hospital, right? And I've and I've and I've basically just just um just attempted suicide, so I tried to take my own life. Anyway, I'm gonna fast forward a couple of years, and basically the same thing happened again. Um, I've ended up back in hospital, and um, but this time it was different. Where uh again, uh a nurse this time from Jamaica, and at that time I was very um very much anti-Christian, anti-God, anti-everything, because I blamed God for for my suffering. I blamed God for my upbringing, I blame God for the fact that I couldn't succeed, I blame God for the fact I was struggling with poverty, I blame God for uh my broken relationships. Um, you know, I found that the the the the party lifestyle, the drug-filled lifestyle, the you know, the you know, the womanizing, whatever, it wasn't bringing me what I was looking for. So I was angry with God, I was upset with God, and I was upset with, you know, there were a lot of things that happened when I was young with with Christianity that I wasn't happy with as well. I didn't believe in in the church, I didn't believe in in how the church functioned and how they treated people. So there was a lot of there's a lot of hostility towards God and hostility towards everything to do with Christianity, right? And I believe that I believed at the time that Christians were were uh ingenuine, they were fake, uh, they were um, you know, everything everything in between. So this nurse, right? This nurse was from Jamaica. Um she didn't know I was Jamaican, but she you know she was from Jamaica, and um and she was she was nice, and I'd associated many people from Jamaica as being quite quite hard and quite quite quite tough.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

But she was nice, she was quite kind of the opposite. She was actually quite she was quite nice, she was actually like actually looking after me. And I think the third day I was in hospital, I was kind of like uh I think I was watching TV or something, and then she came to me and she was like, Has Elle ever told you about Jesus? And I said, please no, please no, you know, that that name and that everything to do with that everything to do with that name has caused me everything that why I'm here is because of people talking about Jesus, right? If Jesus was real, all of this stuff would would not never have happened. Never would have happened. I wouldn't be feeling the way I'm feeling, you know, all these people carry, you know, all these people behaving in in Jesus' name and all these church people, right? They are the reason, or they are a contributor as to why I'm here now. I don't want to know. And rather than do you know what the craziest thing about it was rather than fight me on it, she she was like, that's okay. Do you know what? Don't worry about it. And you know, we we got to talking over the past next couple of days, and you know, she was very she was very um down to earth, she was friendly, she was nice, and she didn't feel um uh upset or offended that I'd said what I'd said. She was very understanding about it. Right, um, but anyway, the reason why obviously I've told you that is because after I left hospital the second time, and I kind of realized at that point, hang on a second, I've I've tried to commit suicide twice, but yeah, I'm still here. Maybe this isn't the way, maybe this isn't doing this, is is not yielding any any any the result I'm looking for. Right. Anyway, we're kind of very long story short, I actually ended up having an encounter with uh with with with God, not uh maybe about a year or so later, and that's how I came to came to the real aspect of faith. And and I've been a Christian now for for 15 years now, I've been a Christian now. Um but even after you know getting saved and and all that goes with it, there have still been a lot of challenges with mental health. I like to call myself a functioning, I have functioning depression, meaning that what I feel about life and what I feel about you know everything, well never go away, it's it's gonna be a part of me for the rest of my life. And there are some days that it affects me more than others, but what I've done rather than try and uh self-medicate or at least try and um ignore the feeling is that I've developed healthy, healthy uh behaviors to help during those times. So I'll give a few examples if maybe going through yeah, if anyone's yeah, if anyone's going through the same thing. So one of the first things that I did that I really made uh priority was good diet and exercise. Um I make a point of uh doing something competitive, i.e., in my case, I may not have become a professional footballer or professional soccer player, but I play competitively now because it's a way of kind of getting out of needing to kind of just fight for something rather than actually fight someone, but fight for something. Um so that was the first thing, diet and exercise. Good diet, good exercise. Second thing um was finding the right people to share with. The biggest problem that I had was that I was sharing aspects of my life with the wrong people and people that didn't necessarily want the best for me. So next thing you know, you're you're telling someone about an incident at work, for example. Say when I was back in corporate, I was telling someone about an about incident in corporate. Next thing you know, it's gone round the entire office and everyone's looking at you differently, right? Because you thought you could trust someone, or someone came to you with that element of, oh yeah, you can talk to me, and you know, and next thing you know, that person's like that person wasn't trustworthy at all. So it's let it enabled you has you have to kind of be more guarded with who you um uh who you share the deeper parts of your life with. Absolutely. One thing that I've also found that's been really important as well is having uh having mentors. When I say mentors, I mean like older people, almost like surrogate parents that you can kind of talk to as if you're a parent, they're a parent, or like a bigger brother or a bigger sister, whatever. And over the past 10 years or so, I have been blessed with so many people that uh fill that role for me. And it's now got to a point where I know that if things aren't going well, I can pick up the phone and call one of them, or or WhatsApp one of them, and just say, Hey, do you know what I need to talk? Do you want to if we're you know if we're in the UK, can we meet up or can we just talk? Can we arrange a video call or whatever? So talking healthily um helps as well. I did the whole therapy thing, I did the whole counselling thing. Personally, it wasn't for me, but I don't want to dissuade anyone from uh from doing from doing that. Um, and then um I think the last thing was um, and this is probably the most important thing, is okay try and understand uh the purpose of why you do what you do. Because if you take the purpose away from from life, even if you're living your life without purpose, chances are you're gonna be depressed or you're gonna feel directionless or aimlessness. If you have something that gets you out of bed every morning, that will it's almost like a it's almost like the best distraction of sorry, excuse me, it's almost like the best distraction of thinking about those feelings as to why you're sad in the first place.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

So for example, I have not had anything major happen over the past three or so years because that's coincided with me starting my businesses, and that's not me necessarily saying that starting a business cures depression, but if anything, starting a business actually alleviate actually prolongs to depression rather than uh rather than getting rid of it.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Everything that you feel like goes wrong, you're like, ha ha.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Yeah, exactly. I don't want to talk about it. We'll talk in a minute about how hard entrepreneurship is, but even still, it's almost like getting up with purpose and in and just kind of just maintaining those behaviors. I'm I'm blessed with a loving wife and a beautiful family. That also helps to keep me going as well. So um I think if I had to kind of you know leave a message with someone that may be feeling in this way, um, I think the first question I'd I'd ask them is um, you know, is there any purpose in your life? What purpose? What are you what are you getting up for? And if the answer is just to get up to go to work to pay the bills, that's not purpose, right? Right, right. If you are doing something you love and you're passionate about it, okay, that's that's a bit better. But you know, we are created for more than just getting up and paying bills or just living someone else's dreams. Well, as we said at the beginning of this of this podcast, right? Fitting into someone else's box of expectations. Because that's another way, you know, it's almost like you know, when you cage a um if you go to a zoo, for example, you know, and you you see like a caged, um like a caged tiger or a caged lion or something.

unknown 41:55

Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

You think the tiger or the lion is happy being in a small cage? No, they want to go out and hunt, they want to go out and do natural lion or tiger behavior type activities, right? Why are we the same thing? We weren't designed to be put in boxes, and if someone else has got the key to the box that you're in, you need to be banging on the door saying, excuse me, I don't belong in here. Can you get me out? Or breakout, even you know, call it prison break two, create cage break, whatever you want to call it. Just get yourself get yourself out of that cage, you know. You don't be on there. Right? But yeah, yeah, yeah. That's yeah, yeah. It's it's a journey, it's a journey, but it's um, it's it's all it's it's good.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

It is it's such a journey, and um I love that you said break out, break out because you know, I talk about sometimes how those voices that were there when we were younger, right? Or that pressure that was there when we're younger, it becomes our own voice. And so they're not saying these things, they're no longer saying no to us, right? To what we want to do. We're telling ourselves no, or we're sabotaging it, unaware, right? So thank you so much for sharing those keys to breaking those limitations. I I I truly, truly, truly appreciate what you have brought today. I mean, you've I I don't I don't really have any other questions. I need to, I feel like you've covered everything. This is your natural talk. Um so we talked about what people can do to to get out of those limiting um mindsets, thoughts, patterns. What does I just want to ask you this this this last question, and we can keep talking. I want you to please share with everyone how they can contact you, find out more about your businesses, all of that good stuff, okay? Of course. What does breaking cycles mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 43:50

What does breaking cycles mean to me? Breaking cycles is almost the fundamental part of why I started um why I started my my company. TL Simpson Enterprises. And it was obviously more than just naming a company after myself. But the philosophy behind what I do is I help people be I sorry, I help ambitious people become excellent. Right? If I had to break that down for just just just a second, okay. Ambitious. We'll start with the word ambitious, right? Ambition starts from being in a place where you know you can achieve more, or that you know that you deserve okay. Let's just say it. You know that you deserve more. I would never actively say to anyone you deserve success because nobody deserves it, nobody deserves success, right? But that level of ambition that you have means that you know that you're in a place now that you know you want to get to in the future, and there is a noticeable gap that you need to overcome in order to get to where you want to get to. So that's the ambition, ambitious part, right? Okay. Um, becoming excellent is the second is the second part of kind of like my philosophy. What is excellence? Now I've got two kind of definitions of excellence. So one is the the the Christian biblical part, and the second is we'll go into just a second, but the Christian part of it is you know, I got you know, God has given us all gifts and talents, right? And in a way, it's not so much the case of oh, someone's gonna come and recognize those gifts and talents, and all of a sudden I'm gonna become successful, wrong. You need to be able to do your part in terms of not allowing other expectations. When I mean other expectations, I mean other people's expectations or even your own limitations, like what we were talking about earlier, right? Right get in the way of you demonstrating what it is you've been put on this earth to do. I'll give an example. Let me give an example very quickly. Say, for example, you're really good at sewing, you're good with fashion, you're good with mending clothes, right? And you know you're really, really good. You can sew a mean dress, right? You know, you're you're you're a you're you're a kind of seamstress or what or a tailor or whatever, right? Right. No one unless you actually demonstrate what you can do, no one is going to recognize your ability. Right. And if you're serious about being, you know, making that your career, you need to be able to take the steps yourself to get to a position where, hey, my name is Bob Smith and I'm an expert tailor, right? And all of a sudden, next thing you know, you've you've been in a position where you are out there and someone can come along and say, Hey Bob Smith, I want I want you to be a tailor for me. And then that's how things stabble from there. No one is gonna go where Bob Smith is hiding under his duvet, dreaming of becoming a tailor, right? Dragging him out of bed and make getting him to make clothes for you, right? Yes, yes, people do this in their daily lives, they do that where they are sitting and waiting for stuff to happen to them, right? Nothing is going to happen to you. I'm sorry to them, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm I'm I'm gonna burst. Maybe I'm not troubles here, but nothing is nothing is going to happen to you. No one is gonna come and save you, no one is gonna come and drag you from the pit you're in and make you become successful. You need to do your part. But you might ask me, Tion, well, well, how do how do I do that? And how have you made that into a business? Well, I will tell you very briefly. So sorry, Chris, this is gonna be my very short business pitch, but okay, as a as a as a as a personal branding consultant. Well, it's more than just personal branding. I'm a personal branding positioning consultant where I take people with that level of ambition and I help them to put themselves in a better position to attract more opportunities, more visibility, um, and essentially reward because you know ultimately we want to help people to uh to uh if they've got a platform to grow their platform, to grow their businesses, to grow their profile. But if you're not positioned correctly, then you're not going to be able to do that, right? Absolutely. So that's one thing that I do on a one-to-one basis. So if anyone um would like to work with me or is interested in working with me, the best way to contact me at the moment, because my website is still currently being built, is to contact me on LinkedIn or on Instagram. Um my details are at T onlsimpson, um, easily findable on LinkedIn as well. Um, just send me a DM and or you can email me as well. Um, my email address is tlsimpsonenterprises at gmail.com. Just drop me an email and um we can arrange a call and we can kind of talk about where you are now and where you want to be in the future, and if I'm able to help you. Um so that is the first part of the question. I'm sorry, Christine, I've forgotten the second part.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

No, you're following, you're following, you're fine. No, I was just asking what that means to you today, but I think you have explained what what it means to you today to break cycles. Breaking cycles, yes.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Sorry, there was one last one last little bit. So, yes, that was the God part where you know it's almost like you take what you what you've got so far, God alone or the rest. That's the Christian part of it. The actual part of it is the act is the action-taking part of it, which is what I've just mentioned, right? So, in a lot of cases, you know, many people you know want that ambition, they want to be able to do what they want to do, but they just don't know how, right? They need they need they need like a map drawing out, or they need direction, or they need someone that's kind of that's been there or at least has kind of started on that journey to kind of help them along a little bit. Again, that's partly you know the element of kind of what I do as well with consulting, where I kind of take where you guys are or where anyone is, help them draw a little roadmap and get them on their way, mostly on a on a branding sense, on a marketing sense, or in a content sense as well. So, you know, as we're in very much in a digital age now, a lot of what I do is helping people grow their profiles online. Uh, but then we do more than that in terms of helping them with marketing strategies out in the real world as well. It's almost like you know, we're trying to helping people to kind of get to that level of ambition and to become excellent just by expert level of positioning. And that's what I'm passionate about. I love to help people, and uh, if I can help someone to achieve their dreams or get them to where they want to get to, then I'm not just helping them, I'm also helping myself. So that is the cycles that I I dream I can break from for many people around the world.

SPEAKER_02 50:09

So, so I I are you for everybody, or is there an area that you specifically work with, or how does that work?

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Yeah, yeah. So, okay, so very, very briefly. Um, my main uh uh people that would be more suited to working with me are either entrepreneurs, uh professional people, when I say professional people, like expert professional people, like for example, doctors, dentists, wealth managers, accountants, people with a skilled profession that have been doing it for a long time, or creative people like musicians or artists, or content creators, like people that are trying to build a content platform of some kind. There are many subsections within that, but those are like the main kind of categories. Um more information is available uh once our website becomes available. I'm not being available. Absolutely, absolutely. But most a lot of information is already on my social media pages and on my LinkedIn. So if you just connect with me on LinkedIn, connect with me on on Instagram or on Facebook, um, then you know, more information is ready readily available if you're uh if you're interested or would be would like to know more.

SPEAKER_02 51:13

Okay, awesome. Thank you so much for everything that you have shared with us today. Um as I said before, uh it has helped me, you know, just hearing, you know, uh thoughts and perspectives from another person and being articulated the way you did. So I'm so grateful. I know that the audience is gonna benefit tremendously from everything that you have shared with us today.

SPEAKER_03 51:35

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Um I'm going to leave your information at the bottom of this caption for our podcast. Um again, thank you for taking the time. Thank you for sharing your expertise.

SPEAKER_00 51:48

You are so welcome. You're so welcome. Thank you so much, Christina. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

You're welcome. So until next time, keep breaking those generational curses with excellence. Remember, you deserve it. You are loved, you are, and you are precious. Thank you.