Healing Our Inner Child: Breaking the Cycles That Shape Our Lives

Many of us spend our adult lives reacting to wounds we never realized we were still carrying.

In this heartfelt episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence, host Christy Russell sits down with Mariam Safla, Soul Alchemist and Shadow Work Coach, to discuss how acknowledging our inner child wounds can lead to emotional healing, healthier relationships, stronger self-worth, and lasting generational change.
Together, we explore: 💜 Healing the inner child 💜 Shadow work and emotional awareness 💜 Breaking unhealthy generational patterns 💜 Building self-worth and authenticity 💜 Healing ourselves before passing our pain to the next generation 💜 Living with greater purpose, empathy, and freedom
Healing doesn't erase our past—but it gives us the power to write a different future.
If you're ready to stop surviving and start healing, this conversation is for you.

🌟 Connect with Special Guest Mariam Safla all the way from South Africa!

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🌐 Website
https://www.magicallythrive.com⁠�
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https://instagram.com/magicallythrive⁠�
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https://facebook.com/magicallythrive⁠

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💜 Connect with Christy & RusMix
🌐 Website
https://TheRusMix.com⁠

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to this episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence. I'm Christina. Christy, your host, and today we have a special guest.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Thank you, Christina, for having me. I'm Mariam. I'm from South Africa. And I'm so excited to be on your podcast today. It aligns with my work so nicely, and I'm looking forward to sharing that with you and your audience.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Give me one second, I apologize. It's it's talking another voice.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

You can't hear me. No, it's not Is it my side, Christina?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

No, it's mine. Okay, it was it was doing this tra voice translating thing, and it was talking while you were talking, so that that's why that's the problem. Um, welcome to this episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence. I'm your host, Christy Christina, and today I have with me I'm Mariam.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Uh I'm from South Africa, and I'm so excited and grateful to you, Christina, for having me on your show today. And I'm looking forward, your topic, your podcast name aligns with what I do. So I'm looking forward to sharing all that knowledge and light with y'all today.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Thank you so much for joining us. I'm excited. Thank you for taking your time all the way from South Africa to share your story, what you do, um, to help our audience, and I'm sure it would help me as well. So let's jump right in. Can you tell me kind of your journey, what made you start to help people with this? Um, for the you know, for those who don't know what um the dark soul is, you know, or shadow work or things like that. Can you explain that to us, your story, your journey? Please give us insight into you, Miriam.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

So yes, I would love to. Thank you for asking, Christina. My one is all about I experienced a betrayal in my marriage.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Oh, wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

And I asked the question instead of blaming my husband, I went through all the stages of grief. I was shocked, I was in denial, I bargained, I did all of that. But I believe before I went into grief, I mean depression, you know, depression part of the five stages of grief. I asked this question how are my parents' patterns playing out in my marriage? And a door opened up for me. And that door took me within to go and face those generational patterns that are playing out in my marriage, and I started feeling those wounds and making peace. I remember going in, looking at my mom and my dad fighting in my my childhood memories, and how I refused to even look at it. So, what I did was I ran out of the house. I played with friends and I stayed more out of the house than in the house. I couldn't stay with the dim discomfort. At that time, I didn't realize I was in a physical empath. And I couldn't take all that negative emotions. So I had to be out. And you know, when we empaths are out, then only we are regulated. Yes, yes, and that's just that out for me.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Wow. I I'm I'm I'm amazed and impressed um that that was the question that you asked because it's so true. The patterns of our parents a lot of times are playing out in our marriages, and we don't even know. Wow. So thank you so much for sharing that. I know that was a wonderful time for you, and I thank you for sharing that wonderful part of your story. Now, let's let's move to to the parents, right? To the to the foundation, as you mentioned. Yes. How would you explain a mother wound to someone? How would you explain that?

SPEAKER_02 6:10

So I'm going to use my story and then I'm going to explain it. I'm not going to explain laying in theory because I'm not that theory person. I'm a person that would practical work. So for me, when you look at it, so when I went within, right? And what did I see? My mom doesn't like my dad. Right. She just doesn't like her my dad. And I also know of wounds where she had before my dad, she had someone else that proposed to her that she was in love with. But because her father told her she had to marry my dad, she couldn't say no. So what is the mother's wound here? A mother carrying the wound of sacrificing her happiness because she couldn't say no to authority. That is what a mother's wound is. Now she's not only carrying it in her, it's carried in from generations.

unknown 7:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

They can't say they sacrifice their happiness because they can't say no to authority. And I realized that was the wound playing out in my life as well.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that because you know, when I think about it, I I can I feel like all of us can go back to what our mothers was care or carrying, right, when they came into the marriage and what we saw. Wow. So a mother wound can take different, right? Different um views, different lights, you could say. Um wow, yeah. So that had to be very hard for your mom.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Um clients working with clients, I would also say there are different types of wound. So another one that's coming up is a mother who was not who was overprotective over the child, and then that she then gave that child space to breed. And then that child had her own children, and she decided to give her children space to breed. So she was never there for her children, and her children felt unloved, and then she goes into her marriage with children, and she does the same thing what her grandmother did. Can you see being a protective, overbearing mother? So, this is another example. So, if I can think, I remember more examples I'll bring in, but this is showing up that of how it went. Yes, because sometimes more generational pattern.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Yes, the generational part of it, because I think in efforts to not do what we saw, right, with our parents, sometimes we go to the extreme and do the opposite, and then that brings other trauma to our children, you know, in our efforts to try to be better, quote unquote, um, than what we saw. Thank you so much for explaining that so perfectly. Um, I can see it in my mind's eye, you know, one parent being this way, the next mother being that way, the next, you know, how it goes down. We're gonna jump slightly to a different part of things. What do you think, or why do you think that sensitive people, right, end up in these caretaker positions? What is it about that makeup that makes it easy for them? Almost something that they prefer to do, taking care of others in your experience and your wisdom.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Okay, so if I if I heard correctly, you said what makes sensitive person take that caregiver role more. Now we're going to the caregiver role.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yes, yes, not and not just in a formal setting, like as in a job, but just they want to take care of everyone around them, you know, just that kind of person.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

So there can be many reasons. There can be many reasons, but one of the main reasons is okay, so what is coming up for me is of a client, another client that's showing up, and what her wound was is where she felt her sister was treated better than her. And then what she did was she took on that role that I'll be there for mom and dad, I'll do everything for them.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

They love me more, yes, yes, yes, that's so true with uh you know, with my spouse, and then um, in a lot of different, you know, a lot of my friends' dynamics, right? I'll do everything for mom. Maybe she'll love me more, or dad will love me more, even though I know they prefer my other sibling, I'll prove to them that I am the worthy child.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I'm better. Yes, and then her sister also left home at a young age.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Eating her with her mother and her father. And she said, Good, mom and dad will be minds, not yours anymore. And she took on that role, but it was heavy. So when she came up to me, her mother was in a state, her dad had passed away, but her mom was in a state of dementia. Oh, wow, that's she knew now it was too much for her. She couldn't do it alone anymore. Yes, but that letting go was the hard part, and that's the way I supported her. I don't know what helped her, but with all the work we did, it came to a state where she finally could go, and it happened so nicely that she and her sister, she like handed her mother to her sister. Oh, but in the end, they were together in balance with it.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yeah, when I think of her story, I feel like crying. She went, she let go of that hold. She went and left her mom. They put her mom in the care, but her sister now had to take care. But it ended up in the end where both of them were living with and taking care of the mom. The balance, the purity, that lets share, the responsibility. It's not only my mother, it's your mother. And that yes, yes. Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. I know I didn't see everything. I think now, day givers, they tend to want to be the controlling type that I will do it, and they take on that heaviness. And what I learned from this client is that you step back and give others the responsibility to.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Yes, yes. Thank you. I I wow, I really, I really know that was coming. Listen, I really, really, really benefit from what you just said. I do, you know what I mean? In in my life and how life and how I perceive things, handle things. You're right. It is about trying to control the narrative, maybe in spaces where you didn't have control before, you know. Um, and so I'll take it on, I'll take it on. Oh, that's so beautiful, though. That it ended that way. Oh, that's so beautiful. I know I wasn't there throughout all your sessions, but I can see how that would make you emotional because it makes me feel something deep in my heart too to hear that that's the way it went. So I'm so glad that she had you. I'm so glad that she had you um help her handle that set back, you know what I mean? Take off that that heavy burden she had. That that's that that's that's amazing. Yeah, thank you. And how how can you know, speaking, maybe even that client or anybody else that you worked with, how can that kind of person recognize, wait a minute, I'm sacrificing myself, right, for the sake of everybody else without feeling guilty, you know. How can they first recognize it, right? And then proceed accordingly without that guilt that they may feel.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

So let's see, when I'm also trying to figure out, as I told you, her steps, but what is coming up for me is this is where shadow work comes in now. So we're getting to the I love shadow work, yes, yes. So what happens is at a time where she made that when her her sister left home, right? And then she made that vow that I will you like you know, you left us, you abandoned us, and uh a part of her was created that was saying from now on, it's like you lost out, right? And when you do that, that's when the shadow is created, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

The shadow is created, but now why did I why am I speaking about this and how is it related to the question that you asking me? Is that when is the time you realize that you know you've uh can you just repeat the question again?

SPEAKER_00 16:10

You feel it's it's okay, it's okay. Yeah, what how can someone you know? Sometimes we don't realize we've we've taken on these heavy responsibilities, right? How can somebody somebody recognize wait a minute, I'm sacrificing, I'm overgiving, you know what I mean? I've taken all the caretaker of the people around me, and that's yes, that's too much for me. How can someone recognize that?

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yes, so I was wondering why I am sharing that, and the reason I'm sharing is that when I have to see that, she saw that she took on, she took it on. Maybe she was blaming her sister all the time. She didn't know that part she did that, she didn't know she created that shadow.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

So that's where we don't we are we are in the dark until you have that light worker or the shadow worker that is going to come and help shine the light for you to see that pattern of yours. So you have to come in ready to see that.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

And then open mind.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Open mind. And then you also she saw that, and that's when her journey to letting go finally started. She could start making peace with her her sister. And then she realized when it comes to the guilt that she's doing so much, she could finally see that before she was in blame, like blaming her her her sister, or you know, all that stuff. Now she could see that you know what, she doesn't have to take on. So slowly she could start letting go without feeling guilty. Yes, yes, yes. That's so it's it's such a beautiful story. The root. You've got to get to the root. Yes, get to the root and heal the root. You're gonna stop feeling guilty for not for over, and then you're gonna slowly find your rhythm to let go and not do so much.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Thank you for explaining that so beautifully. It's true. I I always say, you know, a lot of times we have this perspective in society that you just need to go forward, right? Don't be looking at the past, don't, don't, you know, but you have to get to the root. If you get to if you don't get to the root, it'll keep popping up. So thank you for yeah. The way, yes, the way you explained it is so so the step comes to surrendering it.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

So when you find that and you hold space, such compassionate space for the shadow, and you first give it permission to surrender, to tell it it's okay now to stop taking on this role. Yes, yes, and then you integrate it, you don't kill it, you don't, it's not, it's part of you that just lost its way, and you bring it back to finding the true way again. Yes, and then you're living from soul, and that's where soul alchemy comes in, place. You're now living from soul, from light, from understanding, from more compassion for your sister, from more compassion for yourself, for more patience with your parents, all that is soul alchemy when you start bringing these god qualities out again in you.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Yes, yes, yes. I love that. I love that now. How can we see or what how would you explain the the martyr, savior, caretaker, psychical, like what does that look like in everyday life? Um, for those who may not know what that means, can you give us some insight?

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Okay, so how um before I tell you about it, I will explain it in a different way. Okay, basically, when being an empath, you are sacrificing yourself all the time because you're taking on the emotions of others, the thoughts of others, you lose connection to yourself. And because of that, you are keep putting your energy out. Oh, this person needs my help, or this person I need to speak on. You become the savior role there, or you can become the caregiver role there, and the martyr role is playing because you're sacrificing your happiness, what you want, what you need, and you're putting yourself out there. So this is very uh common with the empath, or with you know, many people, but as I said, with empaths, because they're so in tune with others, they forget themselves.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

It's so true.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

And you people please, and you forget what you want. So, my path to freedom from understanding the MS MSC role, I call it martyr, savior, and caretaker loop for breaking the MSc loop is the first thing you have to do is to connect to your soul's calling. What is your soul calling you to do? What is that vision? It can be anything. You know, as an empath, sometimes as a people pleaser, we don't even know what we want. But a part of us know a small bit of what we want. So you just connect to that small bit for a while. It can be, you know what, I want to do this coaching work like madam. It can be just something simple. You just get an idea. Oh, she's on stage. I also want to be on stage one day. You connect to that. And then you let that pull you. You cannot break free from this MSc loop until you have that vision you're going towards. The reason being is if you don't have something to pull you out, you stay stuck in that loop. The loop of constantly forgetting what you want, what makes you happy, making everyone else happy. Either taking the caregiving role or taking the savior role, you fall in that. And in the end, the ultimate energy it leads to is victim. Because I'm doing so much for them, nobody does for me. The ultimate energy it holds is the victim. And that's why many empats feel stuck all the time. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm trapped. I don't know how to break free. Because they're just stuck in this pattern. The pattern out is the soul's calling. Follow your soul's calling and then break free from the MSC loop.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Oh wow. Wow. Wow. Can I just say that I wish we were in person because I'd give you the biggest hug? I'm a hugger. But I just the way that you just explained that. And if I'm honest, you you you know, I I I am as I call a recovering people pleaser, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:51

So recovering, I'm still working on but so it's resonating with you. That's why it's resonating with you so much.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

So much. Thank you for that. So much, so much. So thank you. And I I know that this is gonna be so amazing for so many to hear. I'm so excited to get this out to the audience so they can hear what you're saying. There's I feel like there are people, there are people all over the world who will resonate with what you just said. Um so thank you for again for for saying it so eloquently and and perfect. So I know people who have a negative perspective on shadow work. They think it's something spiritistic, something you know, in the the dark side of things negative. So I don't feel that way. I feel like it's what we need to do. Can you explain shadow work in a way? Um I'm not gonna tell you how to say it, but can you explain shadow work, like what it really means?

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Yeah, and I love speaking with story and sharing my examples and you know, clients and myself. And the one that's coming up with you me is the number one reason, and that is in my early 20s, I had experienced a very, very painful heartbreak. And at that moment, I made uh like a vow and I said, from now on, I'm only gonna give this heart to God, no one else. And I'm only gonna live my life for God. And what happened is at that moment, that fun, loving, romantic Mariam, she just came out and a disconnected Mariam was born, meaning a religious Mariam, a rigid Mariam, a serious Mariam, no more fun, no more naughtiness, no more all that. Everything is to the book. And what happened is that was the shadow Mariam running out her life. No, the real Mariam, more I became religious, the more I just became far away from myself, and the funny part is far away from Goto. Yes, so I thought outside, oh I'm so good.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Oh, I'm the best of the best, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:35

I'm most right.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

It's terrible, it's terrible. That's to look at that, Mariam. And then I married, when I got married, I didn't attract a man aligned to the true Mariam, the fun, romantic. I aligned a man that was so when I got married, I was very unhappy in my marriage because he's not my type. I'm not attracted to him. And I it was terrible. And then I started one day, I remember it was late at night. I left my room, I went into my prayer, I went into another room, I just sat down on my prayer mat and I cried and cried and cried. It was like my organs were being pulled apart. It's something I can never forget. And at that moment, I just asked, why? Why God? And all I heard was, You're a bad person. I kept saying, I'm God is punishing me. So because God is punishing me, now I decided I have to be very good. I'll be a good Muslim, so I don't get punished. I'll be a good wife, I will make be patient in this marriage, I will accept it for what it is, and I sacrificed myself. So, can you see shadow work? Because I created this shadow, I started first playing the martyr role.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Yes, yes, yes, yes, I will sacrifice everything I am.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Then I started the caregiver role, you know, wanting to take care of everything. Then the savior role as I even grew. You you just never. But then what turned me up is the day he and I started becoming someone I didn't like because I started becoming resentful. I became angry, I started hating my in-laws, and I started having all this energy which I felt was not right for a person who says they love God. And I I instantly and I knew I had to change, I just knew, and that's when the betrayal happened in my marriage, and that's when the next question came is how my parents' story is playing out. And I went inside, and I the door, that's when the door for healing work opened for me. I started studying Louise Hay and Brandon's way, the journey work and all these lovely tools out there, and I started meeting the inner child in me, and I started working with her and loving her. And you see, when it comes to soul work, I went deeper, Christina. Because I did so much of healing work on myself, I naturally opened to being an Akashic reader, which I didn't even know I was, but I was entering the soul world and I could start doing Akashic reading work. And that's when I could see that this was something that my mom, I could feel that she carried the pattern off couldn't say no to her father, and she married my dad. And the the wounding underneath it, the true wounding underneath is not feeling good enough. If she felt good enough and worthy, she could have stood up for what she wants. So the underlying wound that we need to heal was the good enough, not worthy wound. And that's why you become a martyr, savior, and caretaker. Because you're not good enough, you're not worthy. So you take care of others, it makes you worthy. You save others, you are good enough. You sacrifice your happiness, you're good enough. You know, I'm letting them see what a good person I am. You see, and you just live on that role. But when I speak about the soul world, which I was just feeling called to share, that it goes so much deeper. That's why you you you see when it comes to the soul work, is where you actually see that you chose that assignment, and you told in that soul world, you chose that assignment that you could see you, that's why you chose your mother. Are we talking about mother wound? I came to heal the mother wound. Yes, I chose, so that's what I'm saying. Those who are here, those who are listening to this podcast, if you feel that you are going through a mother wound, it is the best thing I can tell you today is that don't look at it as something negative. Look at it as something that an assignment you choose because your mother was going through, you chose that soul of your mother because she couldn't say no and she's suffering. So you send that assignment in the soul world that I am coming for women who can't say no to teach them to say no and start saying yes to themselves. Can you see that mission I came with? Just saying it out loud makes it feel so good. I came with that mission, Christina, that because of my mother, she's that is the mother wound. I wanted to go back to the mother wound with you. This is all about breaking curses, it's all about that, and that is the generational curse we are breaking. So Mariam is coming, she's starting learning to say yes to herself. No to everything out there that does not feel good anymore. Her boundaries are getting strong. She knows she is worthy, she knows she is deserving. She's saying no to the clients that are trying to push her and make her put her prices down. She is standing in her what feels right for her. She is worthy, she is deserving. That is breaking the mother, that generational pattern of the mother world.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

Yes. Wow. Wow. I'm just so I'm so it's resonating, and I feel like I honestly I feel like resonating isn't even a strong enough word for how I've I've feeling as you what is that assignment you came with?

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Yes, what is that assignment, Christina? So for me, and that becomes your mission, your message to the world. Yes, your service empowered soul service. What is yours, Christina?

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Oh, it loves I said I feel like it's this, it's sharing with the world people's amazing, impactful, empowering stories, right? You know, I share some of mine here and there, but then sharing people from sharing that story, that empowerment, that way of looking at things, the the way the steps that should be taken with the world, so that they anybody who will listen can be helped on their journey to heal. That is my whole everything I do is around that, helping people heal, feel empowered. Like you said, get say yes to themselves and to everything that doesn't feel right, saying no. That that that is what I feel like my mission is. I feel like that was what my soul called. I think, um, you know, not that I I want to give cadence so much to the suffering, but I want to be honest and say that because of what I went through, it made me so passionate about this. It it made it so important to me to be a lifeline for others because people were a lifeline for me. And this is the way that as as as we say here sometimes, paying it forward, right? Um, and this is a soul work for me. It's a it's something that comes from deep down inside. Um, so I'm so excited. Thank you so much for all that you have said. Um, thank you. Wow, yeah, yeah, but but it has been because I'm very honest.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

It came up. I'm very happy that it came up to that. That if you understand it's an assignment, I think the purpose of saying it to the audience, saying it to you is that it already frees you from carrying that negativity, and you start looking at it as whoa, I chose it and I need to see, and then it gives you to take back your power because you're giving your power to the negativity, the victim, and that's that's and this takes back your power, and then you know you've got it's just so empowering that the higher purpose helps you to forgive and make peace. So, my process is called spiritual CPR.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

Okay, okay, that's amazing. That's that's an amazing name.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

So I keep saying amazing, but it is it's spiritual, so just like how you have a doctor will revive the heart. The spiritual CPR is to revive that spirit that you have shut down for so long. Yes, it's that sweetness that you have got there to revive that spirit, give it that freedom like a bird coming out of a cage, let it be free again. And then you do that with the CPR method is cultivate change within. Yes, yes, go within, like I told you my story. I went within, find the root patterns, yes, go within. Without the blaming, nobody outside, something inside me is creating the struggle of my life. What fear, what belief, what is required, and then it goes as deeper as finding the assignment you can. Then the P is the assignment, the higher purpose, and that's how you make peace. And the last one is now where you stop waiting, you let others take this. Is the MSE low breaking it? You let others take responsibility for their lives, and you take responsible for yours. And that's where the freedom, you stop waiting for others to save you, and you stop running to save others. And you take responsibility by making that dream of yours. That is important. You came here for a purpose, you didn't come here to save others, you came here to fulfill some goodness in the world. And when you fulfill that goodness, those who will call to help you will be inspired to break free from that pattern. But when you go and save save, save MSC loop, you're keeping that person stuck and you stay stuck. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Wow. Wow. So my thing is all about aligning to your North Star. That North Star, keep finding it, that true part of yours. Even it starts with intention. I want to align to my true calling. I am I have made the decision now to align to my true calling, my north star. Give that my energy and attention moving forward. The path to freedom is in that, not in fixing yourself. Once you make that intention, the universe starts sending everything you need. If you ask me, that's my way. I came to this place today. Intention, attention to that intention, and universe just sends, God sends everything you need to start staying on that path and finding that freedom.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Oh, that's yeah, it's it's it is so true. You know, um, this reminds me of an interview that I had with a lady um last week, and she said, she's she said in her mind and to God, I don't want to be a negative person, right? That's what I was growing up in. That's where I grew up. I I don't want this negativity, this constant negativity. And when she said that, not long after that, somebody brought something to attention to her attention about herself. They came out and said, You're just so negative. Now, she didn't want to the negativity in your life, right? But that was like you said, that was that was God showing her, like this is what you're giving out. You're giving out you're you're you're sending out the negative energy, people see you that way, and she was like, and that was the start that helped her see, whoa, that's not what I'm trying to give out, right? And then she started working on herself from there, you know. So you're right. When you have that open mind, you make that plea to God within your own heart, He gives you everything, yes, that you need, everything, everything, everything doors, like you said, doors just can't stop opening for you to be able to go forward and be the person that you want to be. So that that's that's a huge step.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Yes, the intention has to remove any negative, any negativity from that intention, intention you've got to. Many people don't know how to set intentions, and by saying, I don't want to be negative, as you said, it brings on the negative. So instead, what do you want? Instead, you ask that if you don't want to be negative, what do you want? And then you'll say, Okay, I want to be a positive. We'll just make it sample. I want to be a positive person. So, how will positive person make you feel? A positive person will make me feel more alive and uh happy. So your intention has to be like that. I am feeling so alive and happy. Can you see? Because you said, I asked, how would it make you feel? You said alive. That energy of alive is what connects to the universe. Yes, you have to you have to activate your plug on, the plug to connect, the internet connection to God is that energy of the feeling. I'm feeling alive, I'm feeling happy. That brings out this awesome energy in you that connects to God, and you're saying, I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so happy to be a positive person. Whoa, the connection happens instantly, and he starts sending.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

Yes, yes, yes, immediately, like immediately, as soon as the words leave your mouth, or you're then we have to, but then we also have to have the ability to start seeing the signs, yes, yes, connecting with you.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

I said yeah, and then taking action. Yes, we connected, I said yes, I took action. Showing up here on a Saturday for me is not easy. I took action.

SPEAKER_00 42:25

I'm so glad that you're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 42:28

Yes, God will keep sending the boat, but we're gonna sit there thinking, waiting, when are we gonna get on and find our way to later?

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you again so much for for taking the time. Um, yeah, to be with us here today.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

It's not about sharing. I want to empower, I want to leave the audience with real gems that they can take from it, apply it to their lives. Really start today, apply it to your life. We got so much information, Christina, on the internet. Yes, so much, yes, and with AI today, the information is even overloaded. But if you're listening, wow, what is it? One thing you would implement, take from it, and start absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

Yeah, you know, I I um I must say that you've given me some gems, you know, um, in our conversation today that I can take that I can take away with. Um absolutely, absolutely. You know, um we talked about different cycles. What let's talk about an inner voice, right? What about the saboteur voices? How do they keep people stuck in that that guilt and fear and burnout? Those saboteur voices. How they keep us stuck.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

So this is my new passion at the moment. So for almost 10 years or eight years, I was working on inner work, shadow work, soul work. But what I noticed is that as the client uncovers the shadow, then there is still the mental work that is needed. Can you see me? I'm doing a lot of emotional and soul work. Now the mental work is the saboteur voices in your head. And all your life you've got, you've you've been yearing. If you're yearring for the word fear, the fear saboteur is the hyper-vigilant. So you're always hearing all the time. I'm going to do this, something is bad, is going to happen. If I'm going to do this, my parents are going to do that. That voice is in your head from a little child. I'm not, I can't do anything, something bad. My parents are going to hit me. You know, that fear is in you all the time. You don't know when it got stuck. I'm just thinking of one incident with the client. I'm a visionary person, and I'm seeing how she was present one day, and her father was so angry with her mother in front of her, sitting right there, he bust the coffee table. Think about the fear that's stuck in that child's body, nervous system. And when you have that fear stuck in you, anytime you feel even a knot, that fear doesn't realize it's nothing to do with the coffee table, but it gets activated. And would it get the voices? And the voices, the fear gets alive in you, and the voices are these saboteurs in your head. And these saboteurs in your head are now telling you, don't do that, don't go there. Something bad is gonna happen. And you just fear, fear, fear, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, and you can't understand why you are so anxious and overwhelmed. So the real thing is I can take you to the soul alchemy work, the shadow work. I can help you make peace with that moment with your dad and see and release the nervous system. We've got you've got to release it from the nervous system, we've got to let the energy move because I also do energy work, so it gets the energy moving. But then after that, you've got to learn the hyper-vigilance voice, the lie, and you've got to learn how to calm it down. And this is called positive intelligence, and that's where they use beautiful, simple tools to weaken those saboteurs. So that is another set of uh tools now that I have that I support you with not only doing the shadow work, but now even weakening the voices of those saboteurs so now you can break free. So I will just use an example for myself. Every morning, because in my nervous system I must have had such a fearsome childhood, and it was always about something my dad never did. I woke up every morning with a hyper-vigilant, always wondering, oh, did my husband pay the fees? Did my husband pay the rent? Did my husband fix this? And I would, he's getting ready for work. And I did so much of soul alchemy work for myself, but this never got sorted out. My children woke up every day, 90% of the time, with their parents fighting in the house. Think about it. What was they upbringing? Because I couldn't know that I'm waking up and I'm asking you because my fear is there. Did you do this? Did you do that? Did you do that? He is triggered and he starts swearing and he starts fighting, and he wants to go to work, and he doesn't want the shit from me because he can feel he's empathic, maybe, and he can feel the energy from me, the fearful energy. And it's only when I learned, when I learned the tools of the positive intelligence program, and they do simple tools to bring you into present so that you re you in a state of your your sage, your higher mind. And that's when you can see and recognize these sabotages. And then I said, Hey, that's my hypervigilant. And I slowly stopped, and I found another way to speak to him when he's calmer. That's so silly of me. So two years I'm practicing this, two years my children even were so happy. Hey, we don't wake up with y'all's noise anymore. And you see, just talking about the hypervision, then there's the pleaser, these nine saboteurs. And I'm happy that we brought this because if you are interested in working with me, like we can connect, and that's the first step I take you to. We work on a saboteur assessment. Yes, and you uncover which of these nine saboteurs are your strongest. Then I do a free call with you and we explore it. And it's no, no, you're not entitled to anything. I will introduce my program, but you will enjoy the call itself because you will learn about your saboteur, which one, how are they playing out for you, and you'll learn the tools to weaken them as well. But if you want to move forward, then we can talk after that. Yeah, that's like at the end.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

I want you your path. So so I will I want I want towards the end of our episode, please share all the ways to contact you. I'm gonna put it in the caption of our um podcast so anybody who sees it can see, click on the links and directly contact you. Um, I think that the work that you do um is uh beyond amazing. Um, I think it it's gonna benefit so many people. So we want to make sure that we all have the ways to contact you and start working on ourselves, those saboteurs, those inner child wounds, those mother wounds um together, you know, with your guidance and wisdom. Um I I want to ask you a final question. And this is speaking to anyone who feels emotionally drained and disconnected, like you talked about being disconnected from yourself and having that shadow or creating that shadow. What's one small step that they can take today to start healing that? Can you give us one?

SPEAKER_02 51:32

So let's see if they're emotionally drained and stuck, and I have so many clients coming, and the only step I show them is, and this is the everything for me, it's the core of my work, is that when they come to me and they're feeling emotionally drained, they think there's something wrong with them. And they get stuck in this pattern of I need to fix myself, I need to heal myself. You know, sinking sand. Oh, you can see yourself at the bottom of the well or whatever, sinking sand, and then you're just sinking, and you don't, you're going down, and then you're more, you're focusing on the pain, you're sinking even more. I'm drained, I'm sinking. The only way out is if you look up like what do you want to go towards? I've got to change that dialogue of that something is wrong with me to there's something better out there for me. And if I go to that something better out there for me, that's when I'm going to slowly break free from it. You can go and say, Oh, let me get disturbed and take this bittermont and take this, but you know in the end. So, my my just thing is that find that what is something out there for you, bring your attention to it, set an intention to it, let that pull you out from your struggles, from your dreams, your intention and attention. So if you had to set an intention that I instead of coming and saying I'm drained, I am um drained, you ask yourself, what do you want instead? I want to be vibrantly healthy and alive, and why how will that make you feel? I'll feel so excited, I feel so excited if I'm if I'm if I'm vibrantly healthy, how would it make me feel? I will be feel so much gratitude for life that I am like that. So I am so grateful that I am happy and I'm vibrantly healthy, and that will allow you to now find the right resources. And you see, I'm not your I want it to come from within you. I'm not a coach that gives you the tools.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Right, right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

I'm not. It must come from within you. So once you do that, then you will get what is your first step towards that. It's for me the first step always is intention, vision, setting a positive frame of where you want to go.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, thank you so much for everything.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

We look at then we look at what is causing the dream. And the drain will always be if you're working with me, it's other reasons, healthy food, but I can't support you with all of that and physical exercise because I'm not that coach. But it will, I will help you with where the energy is stuck, then that's when you can set the intention, then your first step is going to see where is the emotion trapped in your body, where are you suppressing it that is draining you so much?

SPEAKER_00 55:11

Wow, thank you so much for everything you have shared with us today. I mean, I I am my my brain is in my in my heart. My heart is just so happy and so um changed from our conversation. Please tell us all the ways that we can contact you, reach out to you, see the services you provide. Please feel free to tell us all the things, please.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Yeah, so again, I'm not here to just listen. I want to really connect with you, I want to really help you. I love my work.

unknown 55:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:51

So the best way is you can connect with me on Facebook. Okay. My my name is Mariam Safla. Mariam Safla, S-A-F-Bal-A. And my name is M-A-R-I-A-M on Facebook. Connect with me. You're welcome to see. You'll see my uh join my Facebook group. It's a sole space for empaths where I do my Facebook lives and trainings or whatever I have. But the main thing is then connect with me through Messenger and let's let's get doing, let's get the saboteur, let's explore, let's see if I'm the one aligned. We all need help in some way, and the only way to find out is connect in that way, in the authentic way, and read my articles. My website is magiclithrive.com and uh learn about me and you feel that connect and let's see how I can support you.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

That's amazing. Thank you again so much for taking the time out of your day, your busy weekend. Um, to share all this important, amazing, soul-touching, heart-touching um work that you do and wisdom that you have. Um, I am going to include all of the information you gave us today in our caption so that people can see it, click on it, connect with you, make sure you're aligned, right? Um to all of us. I hope I know that if your heart is open to healing, to changing, to breaking those generational curses, this episode will help you tremendously. So please take every bit of the gems that she has given us today. Remember, you are worthy, you deserve it, you got this. And remember that healing is not a destination, it's a journey. And until next time, thanks for listening. Bye.