How Your Mindset Shapes Your Success with Executive Career Coach Alison Hemmings | Breaking Curses with Excellence

Can your mindset determine the opportunities you attract?

In this powerful episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence, host Christina, author, life coach, speaker, and founder of TheRusMix.com, sits down with Executive Career Coach and Success Strategist Alison Hemmings to uncover how our beliefs, expectations, and internal dialogue influence every area of our lives—from our careers to our confidence, relationships, and purpose.
After spending more than a decade recruiting executives for Fortune 500 companies, Alison learned that success isn't only about talent or experience. It's about how you think, the questions you ask yourself, and the stories you believe about what's possible.

Together, Christina and Alison explore:

✔️ Why mindset often determines success before your résumé does
✔️ The hidden beliefs that keep high-achievers stuck
✔️ How changing your expectations changes your outcomes
✔️ Why the questions you ask yourself matter more than you think
✔️ Building confidence without pretending to have it all together
✔️ Breaking generational cycles around work, worthiness, and success
✔️ Healing from burnout while creating a meaningful life
✔️ Practical ways to think differently so you can live differently
Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, building a business, feeling stuck in your career, or simply ready to stop repeating old patterns, this conversation will challenge you to think bigger, believe differently, and pursue the life you were created to live.
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Connect with Alison Hemmings LinkedIn: Alison Hemmings
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Connect with Christina 🌐 TheRusMix.com

If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone ready to break old cycles and build a life of purpose.
Breaking Curses with Excellence is the podcast where real people share real stories and practical strategies for breaking generational cycles, increasing self-worth, and leading with purpose.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to this episode of Breaking Curses with Excellence. I'm your host, Christina Christie, and I have with me today I'm Alison Hemings. Welcome. Thank you so much for your time today, Allison. Um, looking forward to getting to know you better, sharing your stories. We we've we've had our own session somewhat before before we started, right? So can can you tell us a little bit about yourself and and where you're at and what you're doing and all that shit?

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Sure. Um, well, I'm somebody who started my career in retail. Um, I switched over to recruitment and I had a recruitment firm in Toronto, where I'm originally from, for 13 years, where I worked with mostly executives on uh companies trying to find you talented people. And during my time of working with these companies, every time someone had an interview with one of my clients, I would always prep them for the interview because I just I learned very early that most people had no idea how to navigate a job search. And right, and a lot of the more talented people were getting looked over because they didn't know how to articulate themselves in an interview. And so I started prepping people for interviews and it just became a thing. And our obviously it really helped our company grow because more people were getting placed and more people started coming to me and saying, Allison, like I have another interview. Can you help me prep for that one? Yes. And um, and then I decided to switch and move from the recruitment uh world into coaching. So I spend the major, yeah, the majority of my time coaching professional women on how to break the cycles of getting off. I call them job board junkies. Um, so not just being on the job boards and just applying, applying, applying, um, to reimagine their careers. Uh, a lot of people have businesses that they're sitting on, fractional work that they can be offering to different organizations, um, executive people who are ready to be in the executive world. But I mean, we already know if you're asking for permission, it's never gonna happen. So, really how to just kind of step into your boss girl era for like and really just grow your career. And so that's what I've been really passionate about for the last couple of years. And I'm a digital nad. I'm originally from Toronto, and I spent the last year in Costa Rica and the Caribbean side, which was a beautiful Porta Vita. I love it there. And now I am in Medellin, Colombia, just arrived here and just exploring the country and ready to see more and more of the world while I get to uh help people along the way.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

That's amazing. That is amazing. So tell can you tell us just quickly a little bit about the city that you're in? Is is it is it a beach area or is it more like city? How how is the city there?

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah, it's very city. Um where I'm at, it's very fast-paced. Like before I was in the jungle and I lived in a be a very sleepy beach town, and now I'm in like the Latin New York.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Yeah, it's really busy here. Um yeah, it's yeah, it's very different. That's like beautiful. It's very like hills theater, and people here are beautiful. There's so many stunningly beautiful, just average people walking and down the road. Yeah, just like, oh yeah, you're a model. There you go. And yeah, it's amazing. Very nice. Yeah, very nice. You just have to be like careful. You can't have Toronto either. Like people are you're doing that you have to be aware of your situation.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

It's breaking a book a little bit. Let me tell you. Just in case Yes, that's much better, much better, much better. Okay. Thank you for for sharing that. I I love travel and I love hearing about different places that I've never been to, maybe get some ideas of places to go to, as you gave me before. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. Um, to kind of jump in, um tell me a little bit um about what made you think I I want to go into this type of help for people. I I know um you mentioned a little more a little bit about it before, but can you expound onto what made you do that? Was it something, any wow moments in your life that made you say, okay, this is this is what's for me, this is my purpose.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Yes. Um, well, I remember when my my mom has passed um now, but um when we first started in Canada, thank you, thank you. Um when when I was a kid, my mom's a nurse. And um she'd worked for several years as a nurse, but when she came to Canada, she just hated nursing here, right? And she had a friend who was like, my mom wanted to go into social work, like that was her calling. And she had a friend who was um who helped her get into this social working company, and it was like her dream job. And I distinctly remember her name is Lorna. She's still one of my, I mean, until the day my mom died, she was still one of her friends, and we're still in contact. Yes. And I remember Lorna coming to my house with a typewriter, like old school, like literally typewriter, and helping my mom like put a resume together and help her practice for an interview. And then I was also there when my mom got the call saying, like, you got this job, and she's jumping up and down and she's super excited about getting this position. And it was a life-changing job for her because before, you know, she was a nurse, she's working shift work and all of those things, and this is a big raise, and it was her first time that she kind of arrived as like a career woman, you know, she's like 40 at the time, right? And it it just, I think it just stuck with me. Like it was just one of those things, you know, when you're a kid and you have these those moments where you either decide this is what you're gonna do or what you're not gonna do, that was something. Now, obviously, back then there was not a job, like we didn't have career coaches that one went to school to be. So naturally, recruitment was like something that I gravitated to because you still are finding people jobs. But what I did find in my recruitment practice, like I've worked in all different kinds of niches, but specifically when I went into IT recruiting, which I hated, like I literally hate IT recruiting. If you're watching that IT, that's not an IT. The industry was so all about the bro culture, and I saw so many people get passed over, you know, the way that clients were when it came to selecting candidates. Like if you were a white man from Calgary and you had five years experience, great, no problem. But like let an Indian woman or a black woman, you know, with more years of experience for the same position and be like this, they could run around and so forth. And I can start like how I can help um, you know, a whole demographic be able to get further faster because a lot of us are just not taught the corporate games, right? Like we're just not uh we just don't learn that in school, right? So that's what I do is I teach people how to navigate and to get the most out of their jobs. Like, so you're not begging, asking for approval or begging for permission in order to kind of get where, like to just kind of lean into your your boss energy to get where you want because the systems are just not created for us, they just really are. And I saw it was so obvious when I got to IT recruiting.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Wow, okay, thank you so much for sharing that. I I you know that, but it's very different hearing it from somebody who's been in that space, right? To say that, you know, is not created for us. Um and we need that guidance and help from somebody who's been on the other side, you know, that that's so so very helpful. What are what are some I know you mentioned uh maybe some things, but what are some biggest mistakes people make in interviews without realizing it? And it that tie back to our mindset, right? Or what we think of ourselves or cycles negative.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

That's a good question. I feel like we've been a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that we have to do twice as much for half, like for half, you know, it's like we work twice as hard to just get half, and that kind of shows up. So um, you know, especially women, we we get really conditioned to be quiet. Like, you know, when you're a kid, it's like just be a good girl. Being a good girl means being quiet, don't ask for too much, you know, just children are heard, not seen. And then we don't get out of that in the workplace. So we we don't become our best advocates, we don't humbly brag about our successes because it's just something that we think that we do. Whereas a lot of our male counterparts, they will brag about stuff that they didn't even do, like they will take credit for things like honor, you did not do that.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Okay, but yes, yes, you're absolutely correct.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, and we're just taught to be humble. It's like just do your thing and put your head down, and hard work is what's gonna get you through. And that doesn't help, right? I also feel like we also pick up so many, we pick wear so many hats in the workplace that we don't actually just niche down into like and lean into what we're really good at. We just become the saviors for all of the departments and become so people depend on us so much that you that you can't even be replaced. Do you know what I mean? Like, and it's kind of hard to define what you do. So, what I always tell my clients is to really focus on what you bring to the table and to niche down on that so that you in an interview or when you are um you know trying to get promoted within an organization, because a lot of my clients they don't always want a new job in a new organization. Maybe they want to go move up, right? So it's like how to navigate that so that you get the the best. But a lot of it is just really mindset, like we really are conditioned to believe that we have to do everything and keep quiet and don't brag about it, and you know, you don't want to sound like too humble or you know, and right too seated, right? And it's like our male counterparts, they feel no ways, and that's why a lot of them get the interviews because it's that confidence that comes in, and it's almost counterintuitive for us as women to think, you know, I'm gonna go in and and brag, right? Like, where do you where do you get a chance to? Like most people are not sitting around all day writing about how awesome they are while they're at work, you just do it, right? Right, and so we we we get you this to see what you bring to the table and how to articulate that into value that converts either into fractional work or consultancy or or the a senior executive position.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

So that's awesome. That's uh thank you so much for sharing that. I I can think about several cases myself, like grave grave, and I know that I've under I can say under articulated my skill. Um, whereas, like you said, other people will come in and they don't even have they don't even have the a quarter of the experience, and they're going for positions that I wouldn't even think about going for.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Exactly. Yeah, kind of we're conditioned to believe that in order to do something, you have to have done it already. It's like if you even if you look at job descriptions, and I always say job descriptions are a fan fancy wish list for companies because most of the time, I mean, let's call it what it is. Now they're just using AI and just right, right. Tell me what to yeah, how to write this um job description. But most of the things, like now we can figure it out, like there's nothing that you can't really do that you would not be able to figure it out, right? Um, but we've been conditioned to say, like, unless I have done this 100% and I'm amazing at it, then I can't count it as a skill. Where our counterparts are like, oh, I heard about it. Yeah, I got that. I can do it, no problem. And we're still second guessing ourselves. It's like 70 women believe that you have to feel uh fit uh 70 to 80 percent of the job description in order to apply, and men are doing it on 10 or 15 percent.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Wow, okay, so you do the math and getting the job. We we need to go for go for what we want, right? Um thank you very much for that that perspective. Um how how much do you feel like mindset and self-worth can affect someone's career success? Like, do you feel like it's maybe like 50 or 75? Or what what what would you say? And maybe it's not for everybody, but the majority.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

I would say it's like 75 of the of it. Like if you feel like if you're not confident and you feel like the like even when I take on a new client, like sometimes I'll be talking to people and they'll be like, it's so difficult out there, nobody's hiring, I'm never gonna get a job. You know, I've been doing this for a year, it's impossible. Okay, well, it is now because you really do believe that, right? Whereas if you have a mind, your mindset is like, I'm open to new opportunities, you know, I'm willing to learn, I'm going to put myself out there. Um, I know I was built better than this. Like, who do you think is gonna get hired faster? Negative Nelly over here, or somebody who has a positive mindset. Like people feel you before they even see you. Like, how many times have you been in a room and you're like, I don't even like that guy over there? Like, I don't know him, but there's something about right, you can just pick up on energy. So, yes, like before you start your job search, kind of like if you were to do anything, like you want to have make sure that you're you've you've worked on the things that are holding you back before. So, like, you know, clarity is always key. So you gotta deal with the mindset. If you think that if you have had a a boss that you hated in your last job, you know, working for some idiot that you hated, and maybe it didn't end the right way, or or you wanted more, or whatever it is, you gotta really reconcile with that before you start your job search because you will bring that with you.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

You will and I how much do you think that um mindset, right? How we view ourselves or self-worth, how much do you think that that plays into our career success?

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Right. Okay, so mindset is like 75% of the battle, probably even more than that, because what you believe like people will feel you before they even see you. Like, let's just call that what it is, right? Like if you have great energy, you know, how many times have you said this person has great energy, they have negative energy and so forth, right? And so I always tell people when you think of your career, like to try to think about it like real estate. Like if you were okay, so I'm from Canada. You I know you know a little bit about my my country.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

It in the greater Toronto area, if you were to buy a house right now, like a regular snegular house, like not even in the Toronto, like downtown Toronto, like in the suburbs, like an hour away, a house is a million dollars in Canada, like a million dollars.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

I know it's oh my goodness, it's a very expensive country.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

I mean, um, so it's a million dollars just for a house there, right? But if you bought your house 15 years ago, it wasn't a million dollars, right? So I always tell people if you were to put your house up for sale right now, what would be some of the things that you would do? Right? So you're not gonna put your house up for sale if your house isn't cleared out. You're not gonna just say, okay, I bought my house for $600,000 in 2000. Let me put it up for just 10% more. No, right? You're gonna go through a process, you're gonna start thinking about what needs to be upgraded, right? What needs to be fixed, what needs to be cleared out, right? Like when I sold my house, my attic, like if you went up there, you'd be like, who the heck lives here? I'm not buying this house with this attic looking like this, right? I have to clear that out. I had to clear up the garage because I had, you know, so it's it's the same thing when it comes to your job search, but we've just been conditioned to rent out or like just to put up our our our starter job search without really thinking about it as if it's not one of our most valuable things. Like you can have that house for a million dollars, but if you don't have a job, you can't buy that house. So what are we doing here? You got to really think about those things before you start your job search. And most of us have just been conditioned to just be like, okay, I lost my job or I hate my job. Let me just go out and get the next thing. And I always encourage people to take a step back and to really focus on that mindset, your clarity, and then come up with a plan before you just go start applying, applying all willy-nilly.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Okay, no, thank you so much. I I I love analogies, and so I'm gonna apply that about jobs as well, you know, like with your resume, like what needs to be clinged out, what needs to be cleaned up, what needs to be added, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Um yes, and like the comps too, right? Like a lot of times, okay, if you've worked for the same job for 15 years or 10 years, which is like I'm Gen X, so that's a very common thing for people in their 40s to be like in the same job for 10, 15 years, you're getting like a couple of percentage increase every single year if if you're lucky, right? Yes, so now, so let's just say you've been working at a company and you're at $100,000, and now you just think, well, I was making $100,000 at Company X. So now I'm looking for $110,000, $120, having no idea that people who have the same experience that maybe have had a different path are making $150, $160,000, $170, $180. Like paid in the past isn't the same as what you should be paid. You should be paid for the value of your work, just like how you do with your house. Like again, if if you paid just because you paid $650,000 for it 15 years ago, you're not just gonna take 10%, you're gonna look at the comms. And so, so that's what we need to do also in your career. Because when the price doesn't match the experience, it's also a disconnect. Because I see somebody in there really experienced, right? Like it's kind of like what are okay. So in Canada we call it winners. Okay, so TJ Maxx, you know TJ Maxx? Yes, yes, it's like my favorite thing to do, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

How many times have you been in TJ Maxx and you've seen like a sweater or whatever pair of jeans, and it's like $200, and you're like $200 for paint at TJ Maxx?

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

It doesn't it doesn't make sense, and then you go over to Zara or what you know or whatever. I can't I don't know what Mason reads. Like a higher end, yeah, and then you see it at the same price and you think, well, that's a good deal. It's the same with your candidacy, it has to match.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Like I I as a recruiter if today's conversation encouraged you, I'd love to help you continue on your journey at thesmix.com. The Rustmix.com, you'll find one-on-one coaching, keynote speaking, podcast episodes, books, journals, apparel, and wellness products. A host of practical resources designed to help you break unhealthy cycles, be out self-working, lead with purpose, explore everything at dots.com. And if you have questions or you'd like to work with me directly, email me atrasmix.com. Now let's get back to the episode.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

I've seen this happen many times where someone has gone to apply for a job, and then the person will think the hiring manager will say, like, are they senior enough? And it's based on their salary expectations. So you have to have an alignment when it comes to the whole thing. Just like if you were to put that house up for sale in Toronto, where everything is a million dollars and you list your house at 775, we're thinking, what the hell's wrong with this house? Right? Like it's very much the same. So that process is very, very key. And I feel like that understanding of the beginning of your job search is the most pivotal because that's what's gonna also land you the right position, right? And get you in front of the right people when you are clear with what you want, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Right, right, right, right. No, that that's awesome information. I'm over here writing down notes.

unknown 22:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Not that I'm looking for a job right now, but you know, we're in a very volatile economy and you just never know, and it's good to be prepared to trade um instead of having prepared after the fact. Um 100%. So thank you so much for that insight. Now I want to somewhat go a little a little different, I guess I would say. Um so many people and and and this is you know something something that I have had struggles with. You we fear rejection, right? When it comes to interview. How how do we work through that and still go for the jobs that really match what we want to do? Um and we have that with that I gotta be humble mentality. Um how can we overcome that rejection, fear? The fear of rejection? Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

I mean, it does come part, it's part of the the journey that we're gonna go on. I feel like where I've seen a lot of my clients have the biggest breakthrough when it comes to that, is really understanding that sometimes rejection is just well, actually, I wouldn't even say sometime rejection in itself is God's protection. Like, I can't tell you how many times someone has been like, I really wanted this job, and they were gonna be this. I was had their depend, they were so dependent on it, you know, like thinking this was gonna be the be all and anything. And then they tell me the company, and I'm like, girl, did you like these people are terrible? Yeah. If you work there, yeah, maybe for the next week or two, but give it three weeks, you're gonna hate your life. These people are terrible people, like because obviously you get to do so many different companies, right? Um or sometimes it's like you get rejected for that position and you can't understand why. And God's lining you up for something bigger and better, bigger, better, yeah, you know, um, right? Like so many times, even losing your job. I feel like the people get really worried about or or custom to leave in this thing called job security, because your parents, like back in the day, like my mom had two jobs in Canada, one for 20 years, the other one for 20 years.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Right, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Those days are gone. Like people don't work like that anymore, but we still have that mentality. And then when you lose your job for whatever recession, AI, whatever reasons that people are losing their job now, people take this so personal. And it's like, there's no such thing as job security anymore, my friends. Like those days are gone. There isn't these right, these companies are not your family, they're not, they're a company. We've been so accustomed to selling our experience to these companies, and I guess people start thinking about it as they're leasing your experience to them versus selling it to them. Like you get to have this piece of me while you're paying for it for a certain period of time based on these conditions, like you would lease a car, right? Versus if you're just selling it and now you just get to own it, right? Um, right. Um, but it is part of the process, it's kind of like falling in love, right? Like if you are out job looking for a job, it's the same thing as trying to get married or trying to find love. And so rejection is just part of the process, it's how you handle it and learning how to not take it personal is going to be key. And that's why that mindset piece is so important, right? Because if you don't have the right mindset, you'll settle for less. If you don't have the right mindset, you will let these people, their opinions or their their strategies get to you. And a lot of times, even when it comes to interviewing or seeing jobs, it doesn't even mean that that job exists yet. So you're putting all this weight and all of this stuff on something that may they might have just been like, let's see if we can find the right person. Let's just see what our competitors are doing. Let's like let's see if maybe we can, if if Brenda doesn't come from Matt Leave, then we have somebody in our back pocket that we can pull just in case, right? And we're putting so much merit and so much of our our self into it, and it could be something so simple. Yeah, yeah, like it just could be it's just a meeting on the person's calendar, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Right. Right. No, thank you so much for that that um perspective. It is a part of life, right? And I and and and to kind of um go along with what you said about it being God's protection. I mean, I can say, and I think many people could probably say some relationships that didn't work, right? Were really God's blessing, right? That rejection. So to look at it that way tremendously helps the fear, you know? Um and and and and it helps you to keep going for it despite it, right? Um and not let it be so personal, you know. Um, because we we like to talk about childhood experiences, how that ties to how we are now. Um have you noticed any patterns where childhood experiences or maybe trauma have really affected someone's um confidence in their career in the work? I know that it spreads everything. I know it spreads everything.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yes, I'm so glad that you asked that question. These overprotective parents, you are doing your children such a disservice when it comes to them going into the workplace. Like the amount of clients that I have had that really if they're they're great at their job, right? Like they are great, they are high achievers. They if whatever they put their mind to, they can get done. But what happened is they were conditioned in their home to be that great girl that we were talking about earlier, right? So, like, don't get I'm I'm my parents are Jamaican, right? Like I come from West Indian background, so it's very much like children are seen and not heard, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

I'm sure you've heard that expression, or like just don't cause any trouble, don't ask for anything. All of those things, when you get into the workplace, you carry that with you. And so where I found is people who have like, I didn't have strict parents, like my parents were they were strict in like in the sense, but I could make my own choices, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

What I've seen consistently is people who had very strict parents or parents that really force them to like pick a life for them. What happens is that they don't know how to push their, they get comfortable and they just stay with wherever they are because that's how they they grew up is just don't cause any trouble, don't just be here, you're safe here, and they get really stuck in the comfort zone. And everything that you want in life is outside of your comfort zone, right? It is uncomfortable to go for that position. It is uncomfortable for you to ask for more, right? It is uncomfortable for you to be looking for a job when you have a good one because you know you've outgrown it. And so when you've been conditioned to just always be safe, safe, safe because that's how mom and dad were, or that's what you saw growing up, it will hold you back so much. And so for those parents that are like dictating and telling their kids how to do every single step in the way, when they get to like their 30s and 40s in the workplace, it shows because they can't, they can't push forward. And like, you know, uncertainty can be very addictive when you always think, oh, well, I already know this is gonna happen, and you just stay there. Then it's like you it cost you so many things in the the long run because you just stayed right there because you know that this will get you, this is just good, but everything else that you want is outside there, and you're just staying here because it's been safe because mom and dad's hot and dad, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Yes, thank you. So I mean, there's so many amazing I to be honest with you, I feel like that's a whole show in itself, you know, just breaking that down because I never thought of that when it comes to overprotective parents. I I think ironically, I truly believe that our experience as black people I don't know, it just doesn't even matter what we all heard, like you're TV, not hurt, right? Don't ask for anything, don't go over here embarrassing me by asking for something to eat or taking what they offer you. Um, you already ate. Uh, don't go in the store asking for nothing, don't touch nothing. Yes, um, just all the things, and it's just like, or you know, you know, don't have all these feelings. You know, these feelings, you know, nobody cares about that, right? Don't don't get upset before I gave you something to be upset about, like it's exactly all the ways you're told to like yes, yes, to to to like shrink, and then you expect your child to come out and be this confident person who goes for what they deserve and knows what they deserve, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

It's like, how how would I know? I'm now it's the first time that I've been seeing this because I never saw this from anyone growing up. So, even like part of even trying to get promoted or getting out there is part of it is being visible. So, how do you become visible when your whole life you've been taught to be invisible?

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Visible, yes, so it's like yes, yes, yes, you're so like to drink it out.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

You're so right, you're so right. That's a huge thing, and I think I hope that the parents who listen to this really take that in, right? Because you are, I know for me, I I focus on well, what kind of person will he be in the world as far as being kind and good, right? But you don't always think about well, if you want them to be confident, then you can't constantly be there bringing down their confidence or acting like it's too much, or just being like, you know, you know, be be more humble, be more, you know what I mean? Not not that humility doesn't have its place, but you still have to be confident because people will take that, people will absorb if you feel lesser or you know, all that humility or fake humility, people see that and they will doubt you too. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

They will really doubt you, and they don't even know why they're doing it, but it is it's part of that mindset as well, right? Um, like I I have a family friend who um, and God bless them, I love them to death, but they had a very, very strict parent growing up, and they never wanted to disappoint this parent, so they would always do everything that mom had told them, right? Because they don't want to disappoint their parent. And it's like now they're in a job and they're doing exactly the same thing. And she's like, I don't know where I get this from. Well, that's how it was for you with your mom. Like, it's exactly the same thing. How many things did you do that you didn't want to do for your mom? And then she starts putting the two and two together, like, oh yeah, I didn't even want this career. My mom is the one who told me to want I want to do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

I wanted to be X, Y, and Z, right? Or I didn't even get to figure out what I wanted to be because it was just already laid out for me.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Yeah, I didn't have a choice exactly. I didn't even have a choice, right? Um so I was really lucky because my uh my mom, um, God bless her, uh, loved her job. Like my mom, my mom has been past for three years, and she retired. It's okay. She's uh she retired, I guess, six years ago. Her picture at her workplace, at her former workplace, is still up. They still have a picture of her, she's been gone, right? Even and even when she was alive, they still had it. And it's because she loved what she did and she was so good at it, and people loved her. It was like her, and I think that's probably why I'm so passionate. Well, I know for a fact that that's why I am so passionate about people um thriving in their purpose, right? It's because I saw that growing up, and for me, it was like a non-negotiable, because that's what that's my blueprint is you go to work, you show up, and people love you, and you get to do all the things that you do you want to, and you get to help people in an aspect and leave an impact, right? So you can have these negative experiences, but then you can also have really great ones, like my parents' work ethic, like both of my parents worked their butt off and they worked really hard and they showed up, but they liked what they did. They did and it like and it rewarded them too, right? In ways that people don't have that anymore. So I always think about that.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

That that's that's amazing. I um it to see your parents enjoy what they do. Man, what a blessing! What a blessing, what a blessing. Now I know we're running down on time, so I want to ask you what you would say to someone who feels stuck, who feels stuck when it comes to the career, which we know leads back to how you feel about yourself. Is there any practical steps that you could give someone to start? Like just to help them.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

I can. The the first thing I would do is to really kind of think of your career like real estate, like as I mentioned at the top of our call. Um, I feel like a lot of times we're reactive. So before you before you start your job search, it's important to really soul search, right? You got to start there. I feel like we start looking at the job boards and all that stuff. The thing I would say is really you want to have a strategic plan because what happened, I mean, five years ago, even two years ago, like most of the positions that you see online that only represents 2%. There's you have a 2% chance of landing a job through applying. So the ways that we've been taught how to find work don't work nowadays, they just don't work. And so I would encourage people to look to be strategic and to look away from the ways that you've been taught previously. Okay. And I also say don't do it alone. Like if if you don't know how to navigate yourself through the search, find somebody who can help you. Um, again, that's another part that is almost counterintuitive because we've been taught to kind of be on the struggle bus and to try to figure things out. But the longer that you're off work and you're looking, it's the longer it is that you're not making money. So I'd definitely encourage them to like seek help and to like and to and to network, build your personal brand because it is not who you know, it is really who knows you. That's going to be the key in order to get in front of the places that you want to get to.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Thank you so much for that. Um, how can people who would like to work with you get a hold of you, reach you, connect with you?

SPEAKER_02 38:45

Um, oh, I am on LinkedIn. I'm uh I love LinkedIn, I'm always there. So you can find me on there. Um, I do free career glow up um uh calls. So if you are considering making a change and don't know where to start, that's a good place to kind of uh to have a conversation and see if I can help you get to where you want to get to. Um yeah, and I'm on all the other social product uh platforms as well. But LinkedIn is definitely my baby.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Your baby. Okay, awesome, awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time today, your patience with me with my technical difficulties. Um, but thanks for sharing all that you have. Um, your insight is greatly appreciated. Uh, I know that it's gonna help you. So it helped me, as I I say with many of the episodes, you know, it helped me say things differently. Um and and to really walk in confidence, right? Walking your authority. Um, it was a reminder of that. Um, so keep doing amazing things. I wish you all the best in your new city. Um, thank you. Would love to follow uh and see how things go for you there. Um I'll try I'll connect to you with you on LinkedIn. And once um if you'd like to send me all your links and anything, ways you would like people to contact you, um, I will put that also in our caption. I know you just said it, but I'll put it in the caption as well for our episode. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for inviting me. Or actually for having me, because I invited myself. And uh it's been a pleasure. And like for sure, let's stay in touch. And I hope this helps your audience and let me know if I can ever be of assistance to you in the future.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

I appreciate it. I truly do. For those who are listening, um, I hope that you listen to everything that she said, even if you're a parent of a child that you want to be confident going forward in their career, how you can have confidence in yours. Um, I hope that in your healing journey, you realize that there's no destination, it just keeps going. And you got this, you deserve it, you are worthy. And until next time, keep breaking those curses of excellence. Thanks for listening.