Keep Moving Forward: Beginnings

In the first episode of UsedToGuy I discuss the beginnings of my journey to losing over 100 lbs.  Listeners will learn about the various challenges I faced as I started out and some tips and tricks they can employ to help them in their own journey.

Transcript

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 Welcome to the first episode of the Used Two Guy Podcast, where we explore weight loss, reclaiming your life, and embracing living in the present. I'm your host, Eric, and this podcast is about transformation, accountability, and personal growth. I.  /



/Today I'm going to share my/ story, how I stopped living in the past tense and started making real lasting changes in my life and I lost over a hundred pounds along the way that I've kept off for almost six years.

I'm not a certified dietician or an exercise guru. I'm just a GY in his fifties who use simple tools to help him transform his life. I'm still a work in progress facing new challenges all the time, but I wanted to start sharing my journey with others in the hopes that some of what I've learned along the way could help someone else.

I'm glad you're listening and look forward to taking this journey together.  Let's rewind to 2017. When I first launched the blog that I've recently restarted posting to over the past couple weeks called the Used two Guy,  why the used two guy you might ask?  Back then, I felt like I was starting to live in the past tense.

I was 45 years old. I weighed almost 300 pounds, and at that point I found myself constantly talking about things that I used to do but didn't do anymore.  I used to be able to use the seatbelt on a plane without an extender. I used to be able to sit in a booth at a restaurant without fear I wouldn't be able to fit.

I used to be able to keep up with my kids without feeling exhausted and my legs aching. Heck, I even used to run half marathons. I really became aware that my best version of myself was disappearing, and that if I didn't do something,  he might disappear forever.  I could feel it. I could feel things slipping away. 

I feared that if I didn't do something and do it quickly, I might never be able to reclaim myself, but I had no idea where to start,  yet I could feel an itch to do more, to be something more to begin to live in the present. And to get on a path to look forward instead of looking backward.  But it all seemed so overwhelming. 

My turning point came in the most average of ways. It didn't happen on New Year's or my birthday. It just happened on a random weekday sitting at work going about my normal business.  I stumbled across an article about how the director, Kevin Smith, had lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers. I read the article, saw some pictures of his transformation, and I don't know why, but that story motivated me instantly.

I got up from my chair, I walked over to the table, picked up my wallet, went right to the Weight watcher site and signed up.  I made a decision, a real decision in that moment that no matter what I was going to work this plan. It was that simple. It was not ceremonious, and I don't know why that moment was different than any other. 

But I just knew that my approach was going to be different. I started with that one singular commitment to begin losing weight on that day, and after I sent it for Weight Watchers, I went down to our bathroom scale and weighed in 301 pounds, and I'm only five nine.  So I went back to the Weight Watcher site and I logged it in, and I decided that from that moment on, I was not going to break from the plan.

No matter what, no judgment. No guilt, just honesty and appreciation for every moment.  So my first steps were simple ones. I kept things as uncomplicated as possible. I tracked my food. I focused on small daily goals. I stayed consistent, and I regularly reminded myself that good enough was good enough,  I couldn't be perfect. 

If you set the bar that high, you simply won't be able to reach it all the time.  And when you fall short, you're more likely to feel frustrated and ultimately quit altogether.  Look, life can be complicated. Trying have every single day be as good as the last day was not a challenge I could take on. 

Thinking about the huge amount of weight I had to lose was simply overwhelming. Instead, I chose to feel excited and empowered that I was taking steps to take control. And with each small win, I gained more and more confidence in what I was doing. I. And in myself.  When things got tougher, I started to doubt myself.

I leaned into my program. I stayed focused on the next meal or the next pound. I tracked everything and little by little I pressed on.  I wasn't making massive changes by design. This was not my first rodeo trying to lose weight far from it. My usual approach was to take an entire lifestyle change all at once.

I diet and exercise, and demand that I was on my game in all ways. I. But the outcome was always the same. I made things too complicated, turning everything into some kind of competition that I ultimately couldn't win, and I'd eventually burn out and stop everything altogether.  This time, I wanted to do just one thing,  trust and stick to the Weight Watchers plan. 

Here's some of my do's and don'ts.  I was accountable  each day. I tracked everything I ate.  I was focused. I did one thing focused on my food intake.  I was honest. I tracked exactly what I ate, and I tracked my weight each week and logged it no matter what.  I worked small.  Each day, I recommitted to my plan.  I was mindful. 

Every time I ate. I made myself aware of how much I was eating. In most cases, I premeasured food, not because I was super worried about how much I was eating, but I was trying to teach myself portions.  I was aware every time I walked past the snack cabinet or thought I can have just one of those. I reminded myself that I was going to have to write that down. 

I was forgiving.  I made mistakes and led with self-forgiveness and grace, which made it possible to just press on.  I was determined no matter what. I just stuck to the plan.  I play the long game.  I did not focus on keeping score wins and losses are working towards some end, but rather I focus on establishing habits that were sustainable forever. 

I also didn't try to do everything all at once.  I focused on food, exercise, would have to wait.  I did not take a day off. I didn't wanna feel like I was punishing myself or rewarding myself. I was just learning to live my life in a new way.  You don't get to take days off from living. The only person a cheat day would cheat is me. 

I didn't view what I was doing as punishment  or any sort of diet that was gonna end. I just kept doing the same thing every day, all the time.  This became especially true if I had a bad day. If I ate something that wasn't part of the plan and blew up my daily points, or I felt like I let myself down, I immediately jumped right back into the plan as fast as I could that ensure I didn't drift, that I didn't say, oh, well, I'll just start again tomorrow.

I started again  right then.  I avoided that all or nothing trap I'd fallen into before where it was complete commitment to exercise, food and the whole thing, and I would pack it with so much complexity in trying to be all those things all the time, that inevitably it would all fall apart.  Honestly, I didn't even think about my goal weight.

I had one, but that wasn't what I was aiming for. I was aiming to lose a pound or two that week to feel my clothes fit a little better, to wash the holes in my belt, go down. I was taking those small wins and learning to appreciate them, and I was appreciating that I was taking control,  that I was just not at the whims of, oh, I'll eat whatever I want. 

I also began to stack those small wins. The way that Weight Watchers will guide you is you're gonna lose weight slowly, and that's appropriate, and that's okay.  I didn't judge myself when I was left less than perfect. Good enough was good enough. I accepted that I was not perfect. I could not do things perfectly. 

I didn't game things out in prior attempts. I would try to make sure I lost some weight every week no matter what. So I would do stupid things like trying to sweat off weight the day before. A weigh in each week would turn into a challenge to beat the last week until I couldn't win and would quickly become exhausted from trying and walk away  using these simple rules.

I started to realize that weight loss and settlement improvement. Or about reaching some imaginary finish line. They're about creating habits that are resilient and lifelong.  In some ways, the outcomes became more about how I live my life versus a number on a scale. And once I internalized that, sustaining, my plan became even easier. 

Little by little I was starting to understand myself better. I could see my weaknesses better, and I understood how to navigate through them by staying focused. Working my clan and just repeating that over and over again. What I was building each day was also a resilience to the pressures of life that can sabotage even our most determined efforts.

Life is life. You'll have setbacks. Sometimes they'll come from outside and sometimes they come from inside. And I would love to tell you that once I started, I never struggled again, but that would be a lie.  I had plenty of setbacks and hurdles, and I still do.  I had weeks where the scale didn't move and I had moments where my bodily utterly let me down. 

A little background  since my mid thirties, I suffered from recurrent bounce of diverticulitis, and about a month into my journey I got a major bout, which requires me to be on all sorts of nasty antibiotics. I can only eat certain feuds and I really can't move around because it's painful. And I remember thinking in that moment. 

There are two ways I can take this. Normally, that episode would be one of these moments when I would just say, well, I'm not meant to do this. I'm just gonna go back to the way it was. But this time, that's not what happened. Even when I was sick, I continued the track and do my best to watch what I was eating.

I stayed on plan, I stayed focused, and I realized that my goals were bigger than that moment. That this was just a momentary obstacle in my way, and it would pass.  And I would go back to working the program the way I wanted to,  but I was forgiving myself. I didn't become angry and disheartened that my body had let me down.

It was okay and it would be okay moving forward, and it was, I'd like to say, oh, I never had another bout of that again. But I get them a couple times a year and I navigate through them and I get right back on plan when I can.  Life can be like that in so many ways.  Stressors may come from the outside, and I have not been immune to those kinds of challenges either.

During the pandemic I was managing to stick to my program, even with all the life stress around me. At that point, I was able to see my plan as a safe place where I had control in a world gone crazy. And just as our family was settling into the strange but calm space of not going anywhere, my job was eliminated.

And the company downsizing brought on by the pandemic.  That's a lot of outside stress. How am I gonna find a job during the middle of a global pandemic? What will we do if I don't find another job quickly, or if we have to move waking up at 3:00 AM and almost panicked? Because those fears seem bigger and nastier when your mind starts playing with them in the dark. 

Even with all this, I stuck to my plan.  I just kept doing what I had done. Being in control at that point was so important.  There was so little that seemed in my control. But this, this I could do. It was also at that point that I began to realize that the same principles I was applying to weight loss worked in other areas of my life. 

I took that same approach to the job hunt as I was taking the weight loss control, what I could work each opportunity and just keep moving forward in small, purposeful steps.  If you go look at my LinkedIn profile, you'll see a picture of me. My daughter took that picture the same afternoon I was laid off that day. 

Was I scared of the unknown? Absolutely. Was I determined to conquer the challenge? Absolutely. In many ways, my weight loss efforts have prepared me for these kinds of challenges.  I did most of this changing over those first years, quietly behind the scenes.  Now along the way, a lot of people started to notice that I'd lost a lot of weight. 

But even that passes, and we'll talk in future episodes about internal versus external motivations. But for a while, even those people saying to you, Hey, good job. Wow, I can't believe what you've done. It pushes you forward.  But eventually those backs slaps, fade. Most people in my life now forget that I was ever 300 pounds.

People I meet now don't know that I was ever that big. So as time goes by, those cheerleaders go quiet, and that is something that I didn't count on.  Granted. I've been hearing those cheers a little bit more recently since I've started to blog and now with this podcast. But I learned not to rely on those external motivations.

They're awesome. They're wonderful, don't get me wrong, but they can go away. I had to learn to rely on my own internal motivations to keep me going.  Being internally motivated and finding new ways to stay focused in the various stages of your journey is something we'll cover in future episodes. And after almost six years, I continue to learn and it has taken me this long to realize that my next step is to share my story with others.

If I can help even one person from living in the past tense and help hold their head up and look forward with confidence and hope,  then the used two guy is serving his purpose.  Please remember, no matter how many times you've started over. You are still capable of change, and I'll be here to help remind you of that every single step outta the way. 

 📍 That's it for today's episode.  Thanks for tuning in and if you enjoy this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who might need to hear this. Thanks for being here and remember, keep moving forward.