Keep Moving Forward: Where's The Finish Line?

The second episode of the Keep Moving Forward podcast focuses on creating habits for the long haul and avoiding the pitfalls of diet success.

Transcript

 Hi there and welcome back to the Keep Moving Forward Podcast where we talk about weight loss, personal transformation, and living in the present. I'm your host Eric, AKA, the used two guy, and today's episode is one that I think a lot of us can relate to.  We're gonna be diving into being in it for the long haul, which takes two big mindset shifts that can really make or break your ability to stick with it through good times and the hard times. 

The first issue we'll dig into is what I call the where have the Good times gone Mindset. It's that feeling that when you start making better, healthier choices, it means having to give something up. The second issue we'll talk about is the fallacy that there's a before and an after. We'll also tackle the question, how do we sustain healthy habits for life without slipping back into old patterns? 

If you've ever lost a bunch of weight, only to see it creep back or given up on a plan because you felt like you were being punished. This episode's for you. Let's get into it.  So this notion that you have to deprive yourself when you're trying to lose weight is pretty pervasive, and it comes with the territory.

Sure, there are habits that you have to change and your relationship with food is obviously the biggest one,  but waking each day thinking you're punishing yourself somehow. It's no way to live and certainly not sustainable in the long term.  When I first started this journey, people would ask me all sorts of questions and they'd make comments.

People would offer me food and say stuff like,  you can have just one of these. You've earned it. Come on. You only live once. Or they'd say things like, I don't know how you do all this. I can never give up pizza or beer, or whatever the thing is that they're really in eating.  But the biggest question I got, and I still get.

Is, don't you miss eating whatever you want? And honestly, I don't know how to answer that  early with on it was kind of easy to say no. I had a few things working in my favor. The weight was coming off. Seeing that progress kept me motivated and wanting to stick to the course. I was laser focused.

Everything was new. I was all in, and I felt like each day I could recommit to my plan.  I was doing pretty good at not setting myself up for failure. I didn't do the things I'd done before, the daily weigh-ins, the unrealistic expectations, loading up a whole bunch of perfection seeking behaviors and competing with myself to be better and better each day. 

But here's what surprised me.  I still don't miss those things today, almost seven years later now I'm far from perfect. I have cookies and pizza and beer and all those things. But I track 'em when I eat 'em, and I don't do it all the time.  At the heart of maintaining the change is reminding myself of the trade-offs.

Instead of thinking about what I don't do,  I think about the bigger and better things that came along with those changes and how different my life is today.  As the years go by, it's become good to pause and reflect on those changes. So I don't ever forget how things were.  The other trade off is that instead of missing the all you can eat mindset,  there are a different set of things that I don't miss even more than food moments like feeling.

Everyone was watching me when I walked into a room avoiding mirrors because I couldn't stand what I saw. We didn't have a body length mirror in our house until about three years ago.  I don't miss overthinking every social event. Plane ride avoiding booths at restaurants because I wasn't sure I could fit in the seat or climbing ladders 'cause I was afraid I was gonna break them or, or not being able to fit on the rollercoaster seat with my kids because the bar wouldn't close all the way. 

And there were just dozens of other daily challenges that can just wear you down  a moment of reflection.  A lot of our food habits have nothing to do with hunger.  There about stress, emotions, seeking comfort, and using food as a kind of safe place.  I can remember coming home from school as a kid and standing at the snack cabinet, eating chips as fast as I could,  just as a way of de-stressing from the day.

And that eating had nothing to do with hunger. It had everything to do with decompressing.  These kind of habits are still in me today, and I had to stay vigilant,  one of my natural tendencies to seek comfort in food. It is my coping mechanism.  So the next time you find yourself reaching for that bag of chips or that candy bar, pause for a second and ask yourself, are you actually hungry?

Or are you eating because you're stressed or tired? Or is it just out of habit?  For a long time,  I saw eating as equal to having a good time.  But the truth is those kinds of short-lived good times or good feelings weren't really all that good. Sure, the food tasted great, but that was only for a few minutes.

Then came the regret, the self-judgment, the feeling of sinking just a little bit deeper in quicksand.  And here's a practical tip,  if you're struggling and feeling like you're missing out, try flipping the script. Instead of asking, what am I giving up? Ask, what am I gaining?  And your key takeaway here is that the best times aren't in the past or in the moment when you're eating that cookie or that cupcake.

They're happening right now as you take control of your health, your habits, and your future.  I'm not saying you can't enjoy food. I still love the ritual of cooking with my family and sitting around our table at dinner, which we still do every night no matter who's around. Now that my kids are grown. 

What it means is thinking about how to make what you eat, fit your weight loss goals, and becoming thoughtful and aware of those moments when you're using food to soothe some other kind of need beyond hunger.  The second big part of this journey is this common misconception that there's a finish line,  some imaginary point at which you just won't have to do this whole diet thing anymore. 

Right around the time I had lost my first 50 pounds, people began to ask, how much more weight do you wanna lose? What's your goal weight? When will you be done?  At first, I'd give them a goal weight or I'd shrug. But the real answer is I wasn't sure how to answer that question  in the back of my mind. I honestly thought two things about people who asked me this one. 

They never really tried to manage their weight at any point in their lives, or two, they had a really misinformed idea of what the process of losing weight was all about.  The simple and clearest answer is, I'm never going to be done  if someone asks me that question, now I simply respond to something like one day at a time, because that's the honest truth. 

Losing weight isn't like running a race where you cross the finish line and celebrate. There's certainly ways to create little celebration moments along the way, and in future posts and episodes, we'll talk about how to stack little wins to keep yourself motivated,  but I tend to try to think of this whole process as an expedition or a journey.

And I know I use that word journey a lot, but I kinda like the idea of trekking through unexplored terrain and discovering new things. It feels exciting, reflecting on how far I've come and all that I've learned. It makes me curious for all the paths ahead that I haven't yet explored in myself,  and it turns my view from I have to do this today to I get to do this today. 

I think adopting that mindset shift is probably the central pillar that holds up everything else I've been able to do.  It really is the thing that has grounded me and continues to ground me every day as life changes and as I move in new directions.  So a reflection moment.  If you see weight loss as a temporary phase or a means to an end, you're really setting yourself up for disappointment or at least not keeping the weight off for the long haul. 

Like anything we truly want to master, it takes daily practice. It has to be a lifestyle shift, something you refine and adjust over time, but something you work at constantly.  Uh, I try to avoid the notion that I am done or even that I've reached some kind of finish line. If you see me posting pictures, comparing how I looked before I started and now they're not before and after pictures, they're then and now pictures.

And here's a practical tip,  avoid extremes.  If you go all in on a super restrictive diet or crazy workout routine that follows the latest fad, you're gonna burn out.  Think about focusing on sustainability.  I see so many folks who jump neck deep into the latest diet, exercise fad. They buy a bunch of equipment, get a bunch of food, and now they have the best of intentions.

They invest a lot of energy and sometimes a lot of money, and they try to hold onto that for more than a few weeks. But eventually they lose their grip, their enthusiasm wanes, and they go right back to their old ways. Just go look at all the used gym equipment on Facebook marketplace, and you can see the massive trails of wishes and hopes and wants that are being sold off for pennies on the dollar because they've been sitting in the corner of a bedroom or basement collecting dust. 

Let me give you an example.  If I told myself I can never have a hamburger again,  how long do you think I'd last?  Probably a few weeks before I cracked and ate the whole bag of cheeseburgers from a fast food restaurant, drive through.  At that point, my next thought would be, well, I'm done diet over,  and each time something like that happens, my belief in myself would shrink just a little bit more. 

Instead of that all or nothing mindset.  What if I don't avoid specific food altogether, but instead figure out how to make it better for me  using our hamburger example. We can use super lean ground beef, replace the regular cheese with a fat-free slice, put the whole thing on a low carb bun, and still eat something we like. 

It's just kind of a nimble and adjustable mindset that can help you focus on the long game.  So the key takeaway,  there's no before and after. There's just right now, the choices you make today, the habits you reinforce and the mindset you build are going to carry you forward.  Let's talk about some pitfalls of success. 

There are a lot of things out there that trap people when they've made progress, like getting too comfortable thinking we've got it all figured out, and that we could never go back to being like that other person that we used to be  after months or years of working hard. You might start thinking, I've got this under control.

I can relax. I don't need to track my meals anymore. I can trust myself to only eat some of the french fries from that Excel combo meal. And that's exactly when old habits start creeping back in.  Here's a warning sign.  Whenever I start rewarding myself with food or not taking account of something because it was just a small bite, that's a red flag for me.

It's an indicator that I'm losing my focus. I know my habits. I'll skip tracking meals  I'll misestimate how much of something I ate, 

or I'll fudge the numbers at the end of the day to look like I hit my Weight Watchers numbers, when in fact I probably overate all honesty.

During the holidays this year, there were a few weeks where I just didn't track. I told myself I was managing things well,  but I was starting to overtrust myself and I was giving myself permission to do what I wanted.  That little voice that was in my head, the junior high version of me standing at the snack cabinet was right there.

It's okay. You earned that cookie. Don't bother to track. After all, it's Christmas time and you should celebrate.  The key here is that as soon as I sense what was happening. I immediately took control. I ran right back to my plan. And honestly, it's one of the reasons that I started my blog and this podcast.

I wanted to increase my accountability and I could think a no better way than being public about my journey and sharing it with others.  So here's a practical tip.  Set some new goals to keep yourself motivated. If you're a long way in your journey, instead of just focusing on the scale, shift your focus to strength and fitness, mental health and mindfulness, and helping others on their journey.

This keeps your mind engaged and connect as a kind of safety net that prevents you from backsliding.  Remember that old self is always in there waiting for you to slip up, waiting for you to slip back into those old habits. Don't give them a chance.  A few closing thoughts. If you started down this road and are wondering where have all the good times gone, they haven't gone anywhere, you're creating better ones.

Keep painting that mental picture of how your life could look. Fill that picture with hope and grace and get excited about who you are becoming.  If you're asking, when will I be done?  The answer's never. But that's a good thing. The goal isn't to finish. It's to keep growing and learning and improving. And a final thought today. 

Success is not about being perfect. It's about being consistent.  Keep showing up for yourself.   📍 Well, that's it for today. If this episode resonates with you, do me a favor, share it with a friend, subscribe so you never miss an episode. Check out the used two guy.com site for my blog stories and insights and other helpful tips that'll help you in your journey.

And until next time, keep moving forward.