Would You Rather? Aviation Edition!

We’re switching things up and having some fun today—because honestly, sometimes you just need to laugh about the chaos that comes with this job. We’re diving into an aviation-themed game of “Would You Rather,” and let’s just say… some of these choices had us questioning everything from our travel habits to our sanity. From standby wins to airport meltdowns, we’re breaking down the realities of life in the sky in the most unfiltered way possible.

Along the way, we’re talking about flying in bad weather, the people who text us like we control the airline, and the little travel quirks we’ve picked up over time. If you’ve ever wondered what flight attendants really think about turbulence, crying babies, or sprinting through the airport—this one’s for you. 

Episode Highlights

[0:47] We kick things off with why we love games and introduce our aviation edition of “Would You Rather”

[2:12] We talk recent flying experiences, dodging storms, and why staying home during chaos feels so good

[4:05] We vent about people texting us about flight delays like we run the airline

[5:20] Window seat vs aisle life—and why we’re firmly aisle people

[8:07] Good trip with a bad crew or bad trip with a good crew? Crew always wins

[10:28] Turbulence vs crying babies—our answer might surprise you (or not)

[12:43] Why flight attendants are actually terrible at packing

[16:05] The magic (and chaos) of non-rev travel and clutch standby wins

[18:16] Group travel vs solo travel—and how we completely changed our minds

[21:19] Lost luggage vs constant delays… both are brutal, but one hurts more

[28:35] That last-minute standby miracle leaving Thailand we’ll never forget

[33:07] Bachelorette parties vs school groups—pick your chaos

[35:49] Commute or move somewhere you hate? Easy choice for us

[37:05] Living out of a suitcase forever… honestly, we already kind of do

Thanks for hanging out with us and playing along! If you had fun, make sure to rate, follow, share, and leave us a review—it helps more than you know, and we love hearing from you.

Transcript

Andrew: 0:00

Always fly standby, or always pay full price.

Rich: 0:03

I mean, once again, full price? No, I don't want to pay that. No, I'll always fly standby, if that's my option, especially when it's full and like,

Andrew: 0:11

Yeah, and you get upgraded to first class.

Rich: 0:13

Well, you get upgraded to first class. I'm like, Sir, there's another flight tomorrow.

Andrew: 0:18

Agents, don't be mad at me if you see me coming but,

Rich: 0:21

but I'll take the first class to the first course. So annoying. Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really talking about behind the galley curtain? Welcome to Two

Andrew: 0:33

guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an insider look at flight attendant life.

Rich: 0:37

We're your hosts, rich and Drew and we're here to tell you what really goes on at 35,000 feet. So sit

Unknown: 0:43

back, relax. We're ready for takeoff.

Rich: 0:47

If you didn't already know this about us, we love games, whether it's a board game, a mind game, no, I'm just kidding, just any kind of game, like game nights with friends are totally our jam. And so we thought it would be fun to play a game on today's episode of our show. So this is going to be a fun one we are playing. Would you rather aviation edition? Now, some of these might be more flight attendant centric, you know, like, would you rather good trip with a bad crew or a bad trip with a good crew? But we've got some other fun ones planned, like, Would you rather be sitting next to a crying baby, or would you rather be sitting next to someone who is snoring really loudly? So we thought this would be a fun way to kind of break things up and just have a good time while we are recording our episodes. So sit back, relax and get ready. But first, how has flying been going for you?

Andrew: 1:43

Andrew, you know, not bad. I went back to doing trips recently, which has been different for you. Different. Yeah, and fun, but yeah, thankfully, we just had another snow storm, and thankfully I had days off, so I missed, like, all the bad weather, but otherwise, flying has been relatively easy the last few days. I just jinxed myself, so you definitely

Unknown: 2:11

Jinx yourself. But yeah, no, like, no,

Rich: 2:14

like, mentionable, that's one of those things where I have such a, like, love, hate relationship with, like, of course, the bad weather happens and I'm home and I want to be out doing stuff, but at the same time, not being at work during a storm is, like, the best thing ever, because you watch all your friends have like, meltdowns on social media about the chaos that they're dealing with, and you're like, oh, it's actually really good that I'm I'm home and don't have to watch, like, have this happen To me live, because this is awful. Also, when, like,

Andrew: 2:43

everything shuts down, I feel way less guilty about, like, needing a day just to, like, to veg out, veg because, like, who else is doing anything right now? Yeah, so it was nice. I came over my trip. The world shut down for the day. I slept in, guilt free. Yeah, no, absolutely. GrubHub, some milk and eggs, not Grub Hub, go puff, go puff, some milk and eggs. And called it a day.

Rich: 3:08

Yeah, if you don't use go puff, oh, you have it's like the best you can order. It's like a 711 but

Andrew: 3:14

it's, we're not even sponsored go deliverable.

Rich: 3:18

We should probably get sponsored by gopuff, as much as I use them everywhere all the time and on layover, they're like a layover staple.

Unknown: 3:25

Friend for

Rich: 3:27

you, flying has been honestly same, like it's mostly been okay lately. But speaking of storms, like, my biggest gripe right now is the amount of like people that like aren't in the industry or aren't even that close to you that like randomly text you when they're having a delay or something, and it's like you've known me as a flight attendant the whole time we've known each other. You listen to this podcast, why are you texting me and saying, oh, what's going on with my flight being canceled or delayed or whatever, like, your airline sucks. And I'm like, Are you joking?

Andrew: 4:05

Look outside. Just like, look outside. You could tell you, first of all, the world

Rich: 4:09

is crumbling around us. There's a blizzard, and you're mad about what my airline did, too. And you know, as a flight attendant, I have no control over that zero I don't even have control over the things happening on planes I'm currently working, let alone your plane. And it's driving me crazy that people like that you don't even know that well, feel like it's okay or appropriate to just text you out of the blue and be like, I hate your airline. Like, cool. I'm actually not working right now. So much nicer than me

Unknown: 4:36

because I don't respond.

Rich: 4:39

I do humor them a little bit, and then I'm like, but that's enough. Now, three days later,

Unknown: 4:43

I'm like, Oh, I'm so sorry I was so busy.

Rich: 4:46

Sometimes it's just it's too much for me, you

Andrew: 4:49

know, I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Rich: 4:50

But onto a lighter note, let's play a game. Shall we? I love games. This is would you rather? Would you rather aviation efficient? Wah, wah. Long number one, we don't have to keep saying numbers. That makes it way less fun. Window seat with no shade control or aisle with constant interruptions, aisle with constant interruptions. Yeah, I don't window seats are cute for review, but I don't like being confined to my seat like that.

Andrew: 5:20

20 years ago, a window seat may have been fun, but, like, I'm not trying to say the fuse, not beautiful, but like, you only need it for five minutes, right? And the aisle, I need to get up

Rich: 5:31

a lot. I'm probably gonna close the window, yeah.

Andrew: 5:32

And also, I don't care if people get up, like, let's normalize saying, Excuse me, be polite about it, but you're allowed to tell people what you need absolutely, and they're allowed to not be douches enough always being early or always sprinting to the gate.

Rich: 5:50

Ooh, I'm always early. I'm I like to be unhealthily early to the airport despite this job and having, like, easier access to security and things like that. I don't maybe it's something. There's some sick part of me that just really enjoys the airport. For some reason, I like going there. I like being there early. I like getting a little snack or a drink or something pre flight and just chilling out.

Andrew: 6:15

I just also know my wants and needs. I want coffee, I want to snack, I need to use the bathroom. I also need to check to see that the gate is where they said it was going to be exactly. And those are my wants and needs, and I know about them, so I just give myself time to achieve them.

Rich: 6:33

If you're not doing your due diligence of walking to the gate to make sure it exists before going and doing the rest of your activities, you're just not a good traveler. You're just not a good

Unknown: 6:42

traveler at all, correct?

Rich: 6:45

Sit next to a talker or a loud snorer.

Unknown: 6:49

This is an either or for me, they're both annoying.

Rich: 6:51

I don't care. I would have to agree with that. They're both not good. Yeah, maybe snoring because, like, you can't help that the Talking is, like, mind

Andrew: 7:00

your business. I was gonna go talk her because I can usually shut that down, but snoring is uncontrollable, and I can't, like, put my fingers in their noses.

Rich: 7:09

I mean, you could, but I wouldn't recommend it. That sounds like things that will escalate.

Andrew: 7:13

I don't want to only early morning departures or only late night departures.

Rich: 7:19

Early. I will always vote early for sure, despite the fact that I lately cannot wake up early and drop all my flying that happens early in the day.

Andrew: 7:29

Did you hear him say it?

Rich: 7:30

I know it's like my toxic trait.

Andrew: 7:33

I like early morning, the I would prefer to be on late afternoon flying, but it always I mean, the inevitable happens and something catches the delay. You're waiting for a late inbound, and then you're just day just gets late, even later, while stuff does happen in the morning, I just feel like it's more common that they run more smoothly, yeah. So I'm an early morning departure type of gal, full

Rich: 7:59

agreement with you on that good trip with a bad crew or bad trip with a good crew?

Andrew: 8:07

Well, since passengers aren't involved here, I'm gonna say bad trip with a good crew.

Rich: 8:13

Yeah. I mean, we've said it 1000 times

Andrew: 8:16

before, crew makes the world go round.

Rich: 8:18

Crew makes everything if you're flying a shitty, long day, as long as you have someone good that you can laugh with, you're good,

Andrew: 8:26

long sit between flights or tight connections every time.

Rich: 8:31

Ooh, tight connections every time. Well, this depends if I'm a passenger

Andrew: 8:34

or a crew member. Nope, I'll chance it. I would prefer to have a tight connection and miss because if you make it, you don't have to sit around for hours and hours

Rich: 8:43

and hours. That's a good point. And working wise, obviously I want to keep my day moving unless it's,

Andrew: 8:47

like, the only option that we have, then I'm gonna give myself time to do it. Like, if there are no other flights to the place that I go, I would prefer to have a little bit of time. But like, if it's one of those flights every hour,

Rich: 8:58

type, yeah, yeah, tight. But if, like, you're a tight connection to the last flight of the day, yes, then no, I'm with you. Give me a couple hours that sit next to your ex every flight, or your worst co worker.

Andrew: 9:13

And if they're the same person, I'm just kidding. He's not my worst co worker. We don't fly together that much.

Rich: 9:19

Lol, I don't even depends which ex God, it depends which one some of them I like, and some of them I'm like, Oh, you're still out there being an absolute menace to society.

Andrew: 9:36

Good for you. I'd still pick x over co worker, like, worst co worker, I don't know. No, I'd pick x over. Co worker, for sure.

Rich: 9:45

I mean, I'm happy for you, but

Andrew: 9:47

the terrible ones, the ones you just really like caught you.

Rich: 9:51

Have you met my exes? No, yeah. Well, there you go.

Andrew: 9:56

Next. Explore the layover. Sleep, every layover away explore.

Rich: 10:04

I love sleep, but if I it was like, definitely an explorer. But if it was like, all or nothing, like you could never explore again, it's only sleep

Andrew: 10:13

is the option. Oh, I would be an explorer too, yeah, but I there are some layovers that are just sleep.

Rich: 10:19

Isn't a disaster for sleep? Yeah, you have to do it. Yeah? Fair point. Fair point. Always turbulent or always crying babies on your flight? Always turbulence.

Unknown: 10:28

I love turbulence.

Rich: 10:30

Yeah, that's an easy one. Shakes up the day because and then we might not have to do service either. It's like a win. Win rocks me to sleep. I don't have to do as much work. Crying babies just annoy everyone. And don't get me wrong, you have no control over the baby, so like this is not to shame any parents who have crying babies on the plane. But I'll take the turbulence,

Andrew: 10:49

oh, I'll take the turbulence to beach layovers forever, or city layovers forever.

Rich: 10:54

Ooh, city, always city. Oh, I'm too pasty to be on a beach layover every day for the rest of my life. I just

Andrew: 11:02

could not choose a forever layover. That's the whole point of this job. Is that I don't have to so respectfully, I decline to

Rich: 11:11

choose respectfully. This is a game choose. Wow, you choose beach. I don't want to. I would

Andrew: 11:17

choose a beach, but not forever, but I do like a beach fight.

Rich: 11:22

One rude passenger a year, or deal with passive aggressive ones on the daily.

Unknown: 11:27

Oh, my God.

Rich: 11:28

I mean, fight one a year, that'd be great.

Andrew: 11:32

I would take that, I think fight one a year

Rich: 11:35

over passive aggressive every single day. They're passive aggressive every single day. So am I facts? I am your husband. I know I choose fighting.

Andrew: 11:46

I choose fight one passenger a year, always over pack or always forget something.

Rich: 11:51

I know this doesn't make any sense, but I do both every single time. I'm always over packed and I'm always forgetting something. I think what's

Andrew: 11:58

fascinating is that people think that flight attendants know how to pack, because we always travel. And for work, I've got it down. It's like, shorts, T

Rich: 12:08

shirts, pants, sweatshirt. It's a science

Andrew: 12:11

well, and they don't even come out of my bag. No, literally, my bag has been packed for I mean, I change out the underwear and T shirts, but the actual clothes in my bag have been packed for like, five years, right? I just need you all to know I wear clean underwear, really.

Rich: 12:24

That's important change things out at for like, washing purposes, but that is the only time anything

Andrew: 12:29

leaves, but you only wear them for like five minutes, so it's not even It depends what it is. But yeah, I'm with you there. But anyways, I think people think that we're way better packers than we are. And when I go on vacation, I like stress out. I have no idea what to put my bag. No idea always over packed.

Rich: 12:43

It's like our first time on a plane, correct? It's embarrassing. It's so

Andrew: 12:46

bad everything weighs so much, because I cannot mitigate anything down to nothing. Like we were

Rich: 12:53

packing for Thailand a little bit ago, and it was like, Why do I have three sweaters? It's not gonna be below 90 at any point while we're there. And I'm like, I don't know what, there's like an

Andrew: 13:03

ocean breeze, but those six swimsuits I packed did come in handy.

Rich: 13:07

I only use two of the three I bought. But still, I don't know. I don't know who does this. Is there like a service where someone comes and packs for you, because I want, I want that. I don't know.

Andrew: 13:17

I feel like this part's going on Instagram. So flight attendants weigh in. Do you know how to pack? Can you do it? And if you do, can you teach us your ways? Because we are terrible at it, absolutely inadequate.

Rich: 13:27

Board first, but deplane last or board last but deplane first, the ladder.

Unknown: 13:33

Wait. What about a ladder?

Rich: 13:37

Bored first, but deplane last or board last, but to plane first is

Andrew: 13:43

overhead bin space available

Rich: 13:44

to me. Let's take that out of the equation.

Andrew: 13:47

Yes, it is available to me. Then board last.

Rich: 13:51

To plane first. Yeah, the like, less time I have to spend on the airplane, the better. Like, when we travel places, and like I only have my backpack. I'm like, let's wait. Yeah, I will watch group 87 correct walk up and last call, Last call. I will then walk on the plane. There is no reason to be on that plane earlier. Passenger.

Andrew: 14:10

I understand why people are fighting get on a plane, because I want my bag on the plane too. I don't even care if it's above my seat. A lot of people do. I just need it on the plane with you on that. Um, so I understand why people try to get on the plane first, but also, like, just calm down and sit down. Everyone security line full of rookies, or pre check line moving slowly.

Rich: 14:31

Pre check line moving slowly. I don't have the patience to watch the rookies. I don't care if the pre check line takes twice as long. I I don't have the patience to watch someone who is shocked that they can't bring a full water bottle through. I don't. I don't have the patient. I would have

Andrew: 14:50

chosen the pre check line until the other day, when this girl was like, doing one of those, like Trey photo shoots.

Rich: 14:56

Oh, not the Trey photo shoot.

Andrew: 14:58

I just wanted. Put her in the tray. I was so angry at her putting

Unknown: 15:03

you in the machine. I'm gonna put you in the

Andrew: 15:04

tray and send you through the machine that

Rich: 15:07

has that not died yet? I really thought that trend died. Why? Why are

Andrew: 15:10

we no this really just happened to me, like last week.

Rich: 15:13

Make that trend die.

Unknown: 15:14

Please. Please. You guys

Rich: 15:17

free flights, but no upgrades or upgrades, but pay full price. Well, I'm not anything that involves not paying for something I'm in.

Andrew: 15:27

I rarely ride coach, so you're like, one of the most

Rich: 15:32

non revs, I think ever

Andrew: 15:37

rich, is so mad at me. He was like, the fight was full. How are you sitting in first class?

Rich: 15:41

And I was like, I don't know, I get so annoyed. And then like, you'll whether it's on my airline or, like, another airline, like, you'll be texting me and like, Oh, can you check staff traveler because we have a bunch of credits in my staff traveler account. And you'll be like, can you check this? And I'm like, Yeah, but it's full, full, full. And then all of a sudden, you send me a selfie, and you're like, Oh, I got upgraded on this airline. And I was like, how staff traveler said it was zeroed out.

Unknown: 16:05

Rich hates me. Yeah, staff

Rich: 16:07

traveler is the best, though. I really, I don't know how we would get anywhere

Andrew: 16:10

without them. Wouldn't get anywhere, yeah. And honestly, the only reason I'm thankful for my free flights is because of staff traveler and my ability to get around

Rich: 16:18

on with them. And Mom, if you're listening, staff traveler is the best non rev app that's out there. If you're flying on another airline and you need to check flight loads to see if a flight is full or not, you can go on staff traveler and check any route, any airline the entire world, and someone will get back to you with the flight loads. It's the best thing. It's completely free. You earn credits by answering flight loads for your own airline, and it's really just been such a lifesaver when we travel.

Andrew: 16:45

That's the best part, because you earn credits for answering. You are more likely to get an answer quicker, because people want the credits that are out not driving, right? So, like, they're trying to build their credits because they know they're going on vacation or something. So someone's always in there

Rich: 16:58

answering the question, yeah, it's so great. If you don't have the app already, go to staff, traveler, Comm, slash, two guys to download it for free and thank us later, you won't

Andrew: 17:07

be sorry. You will not be sorry. Walk to your gate or take the airport tram.

Rich: 18:07

I'm always a walker in an airport. I mean, unless I'm like rushing and it's Atlanta, and that's like a 17 mile walk between terminals. But otherwise, I'm kind of a walker.

Andrew: 18:18

I'm generally Walker too, unless you have really cool people movers like DC. I love the people movers in Dulles.

Rich: 18:26

I don't I'm totally blanking.

Unknown: 18:28

So like, did we take them? Yeah, oh, we took them to Egypt last year. Yeah, the people

Andrew: 18:34

movers in Dallas make Okay, so happy.

Rich: 18:36

And I that's fair. Why not? Like, so unique. I'm thinking about, like, I don't know if you've ever gone on the one in Dallas, it like, keeps catching fire. Like, every few months they're like, all the trams out, it's on fire again. I'm like, I don't need

Andrew: 18:50

to resist outdoor ones in Dallas are, like, outside. I know the ones you're talking about are also designed to pull up to airplanes and, like, offload into the plane. Yeah, those are my favorite. I love the Dulles, people movers. I know what you

Rich: 19:02

mean now, but yeah, no, no, just the ones in Dallas keep catching fire. I don't really want that life group travel or solo travel.

Andrew: 19:09

You know what? I was never a group travel person before we started doing these trips, and I am gonna be a group travel person. I mean, I think there's a good balance, so get me wrong, but if I had to choose, we've just lucked out. We've been with we've made so many good friends via group travel. I am a group traveler. Yeah, I

Rich: 19:30

remember before our first group trip to Bali, being like, petrified, because I'm like, There's nothing worse than being on a trip with like, that one Debbie Downer or someone just brings down the vibe. And like, our groups have been magical. Like, we just people from all walks of life that are just kind and funny and like, there's such a sense of community when we travel in these groups that Yeah, I think I'm forever a group traveler, window

Andrew: 19:58

views or extra leg room, ooh,

Unknown: 20:00

leg room always, really? Yeah, no, I don't need

Andrew: 20:04

the window. No, yes, you do, do I Yes. He's lying to you. He's such a picture taker, he is a view person, and

Rich: 20:12

it's funny too, because I'm not we're also not

Andrew: 20:14

tall people. We don't need the legroom.

Rich: 20:16

I don't need legroom, but I want it.

Andrew: 20:18

And listen, I'm almost six feet. You're not that tall. Sit down. It's fine. We're view people. I promise you could not go somewhere without having pictures.

Rich: 20:28

This is would you rather only answered by Andrew, because apparently I'm wrong about my own opinion.

Andrew: 20:35

You are on this one, not all of them, but this one, luxury hotels or budget hotels.

Rich: 20:40

Okay, you're gonna think I'm crazy for saying this, but budget hotels within reason, and I'll sit I'll explain myself. Some of the more expensive hotels charge you for dumb. Shit. Like, charge you for Wi Fi, charge you for water, charge you $30 for breakfast. Like, give me, like, a comfortable Hampton Inn for with a free breakfast, a mini fridge, clean, comfortable, simple. Like, I don't need anything super fancy, and I don't need to be spending hundreds of dollars on a room, especially if I'm on a trip somewhere where, like, I want to go out and explore and do things. I'm just so torn on

Andrew: 21:20

this because I've been in some really nice budget hotels, and I've been in some really shitty luxury hotels, so I just feel like, crap shoot. It's just a crap shoot. Honestly, like you think you're booking the most luxurious hotel, and you end in some you end up in something that was like, maybe luxurious 1970 Right?

Rich: 21:39

And, like, you book a five star hotel, and you get to the hotel and you're like, where are the other three star

Andrew: 21:46

like, this is more like a location and proximity thing for me, for hotel, location is clutch. Oh, clutch, I would say in the worst hotel to be in the best neighborhood, yeah, so it really doesn't have to do with brand for me, because honestly, they all have a bed in the bathroom. I'm gonna survive 40 Yeah, agreed.

Rich: 22:04

Always lose your luggage every single trip, or have every flight you take delayed. Oh, my God, these are terrible options.

Andrew: 22:12

You don't work for my airline, because every flights delayed anyway, so just

Rich: 22:17

roll with it. Let's roll with it. Actually, that's a really good point, though. I think I would take the delay. Losing your shit is exhausting. Exhausting. I've only had it happen once. Knock on wood, and it's brutal, yes.

Andrew: 22:33

Also, I don't know who told you all that air tags. I don't know what influencer you listen to to throw an air tag into your bag, but if you are using an air tag for your luggage, I need you to understand that there are a lot of radios that are being used at an airport, so it doesn't catch up as quick. So like, calm down. We probably didn't leave your luggage behind. Oh God, take a deep breath. It'll catch up to you when we land or when we're there. Like we know how many bags were checked, and that same amount of bags were loaded. We don't like intentionally leave bags, but just know that there's a lot of radio interference with those air tags, and it'll probably still show it at the curb long after it got loaded onto the airplane, and it

Rich: 23:20

might be like, 10 feet off, and people will lose their mind and be like, oh, where's my bag going? I'm losing Stop it, correct?

Andrew: 23:27

We're pushing off the gate, and my bag is still the gate. Why isn't my bag left the gate? We're leaving the gate. There's a lot of radio, there's a lot that's a very high power radios used at an airport. Your bags probably with us. Okay, this one is more for flight crew, but get random at KCM or secondary screening at customs. Oh, KCM, any day, any day,

Rich: 23:50

soon as was scary. Oh, it's so I feel suspicious walking through there, even if I don't have anything correct, like, just telling myself,

Unknown: 24:03

but like, check out our merch store for the shit. I shouldn't have a customs bag.

Rich: 24:07

I sometimes you walk through and there'll be like, four, like, CBP officers just standing there staring at you, and I'm like, not, I don't have anything I don't pack anything weird, like I'm not doing anything suspicious. But I immediately feel like, what have I done? Like they're all, they're all looking at me. I'm guilty. I don't know what it is, but I'm guilty.

Andrew: 24:26

I was fine with my bestie. One day, we went through customs two days in a row. Same city, we went through customs two days in a row. There was this gorgeous customs officers. And she was like, Oh, hey, how you doing? How you doing? Mr. Customs fan. The next day, I walked through, she walked through, and she did the same thing. And I was like, Mr. Customs man. And he was like, Yes. And I was like, Do you have handcuffs? He was like, why? And I was like, because I know a flooded that would really like

Unknown: 24:52

to get handcuffed right now. She wants a secondary if you know what I mean, my God, can't wait to get her back in custom. They do hire really hot people, really attractive people. I don't get it either. I want to be

Rich: 25:06

involved in the interview. I can't

Unknown: 25:08

wait for her to be mad at me for telling this story. We didn't name her. I didn't know, but I'll hear about it. I promise,

Rich: 25:16

backpack only or checked luggage always.

Andrew: 25:20

I'm a not checked bag person, so if it can't go on the plane with me, I'm probably either don't need it or I'm buying it.

Rich: 25:30

Yeah, there I would fully agree with that. If I can squeeze everything into a backpack, I will. I'm not great at it, but I will do that like a full check.

Andrew: 25:39

Better at it than you think, like weekend trips. You're really good at a backpack life. I'm not. I still bring a full rollerboard.

Rich: 25:45

Yeah? I don't like carrying a bunch of stuff.

Andrew: 25:47

Yeah? Travel constantly. Or a

Rich: 25:50

luxurious life at home. Travel constantly. Oh, for sure, I know. Know we really care about where we live in our home, and like making it nice and having a place to come home between trips. But like, if the choice was having a really nice home or traveling the world, I would always

Andrew: 26:04

choose travel. I think you can do it best. In the words of my friend Dorinda, I made it nice for you. I made it

Rich: 26:10

nice for you. Oh yeah, you and Dorinda are besties. Besties. Does she know that. Shut up,

Andrew: 26:14

yo shout out, Dorinda. Invite me to Blue Stone Man or one. Shut up to me. No. Shout out to Dorinda. Invite me to Blue Stone Manor. Make it nice for me. Make it nice for me. I'll appreciate it, Dorinda, I promise.

Unknown: 26:29

I'll be a faithful, not a traitor.

Andrew: 26:34

Oh, my God, we're gonna go down a rabbit hole. Are you guys

Rich: 26:36

watching traders so good, obsessed? This last season was so good, so good. Always have your gate changed on you, or always have delays. They usually kind of go hand in. Do people really

Andrew: 26:48

get upset about gate changes?

Rich: 26:50

Is that a thing? Have you never been like, I could carry a gate and they change it, and then you're walking, and everybody's walking. I and then the they get on the plane, and they're like, you know, we were at gate a whatever, and they made us walk all the way over here. And I'm like, I don't we did too. We had to do same. Walk, never

Andrew: 27:08

care, move it all the way all over the airport. I don't care. I don't

Rich: 27:12

care personally. But I am tired of the people that complain about it, like, well, they made us walk. I'm like, we walked with you. We were there, also involved in the process.

Andrew: 27:22

Always fly standby, or always pay full price.

Rich: 27:27

I mean, once again, full price? No, I don't want to pay that. No, I'll always fly standby, if that's my option.

Andrew: 27:33

Uh, yes. And more than, like, actually getting a seat. I think we've talked this about this before. The like, joy of winning, when it comes to non revving, like, when you finally find that root that has the seat, and you put it all together and it successfully works out the victory. I'm like, yeah, the victory is victory. Of that so satisfying to me. It's full and, oh yeah, and you get upgraded

Rich: 28:00

to first class. Well, you get upgraded first class. I'm like, Sir, there's another flight tomorrow.

Andrew: 28:06

Gate agents, don't be mad at me if you see me coming. But, but I'll take the first class. Take the first course. So annoying

Rich: 28:14

this, no, this was us leaving, um, Thailand, though, I remember there we we originally were gonna stay a few days, um after and then decided last minute to leave that night. And there was one flight that was like, wide open when we checked, and we were like, This is great. Get to the airport. They moved a bunch of people to zero lights, zero seats. I'm so mad. Yeah, we got to the ticket counter, and they were like, Sorry, guys. Like, it's it really doesn't look good. We're like, well, you know, we're good. Non revs, we'll hang out till the end and hope for the best. And I literally went in paid for a Zed fair, like, 500 bucks on another airline. Because I was like, Well, that's it. That's that. And then the second I hit pay, and like, $500 charge hit my credit card. It was like, um, we have the last two seats available for you. Like, they were originally only gonna have one seat. Oh, yeah. No. They were like, will you split? And we're like, no, sorry. And someone missed it.

Andrew: 29:10

Somehow, we normally will split. We're not those people, right? We'll normally do it. But, like, we weren't far enough into the process yet to splitting makes, eventually we'll give up. And other thing that I love when they do is how the gate agents celebrate your win with you. Yes, they won so big that day. It's like a little victory for everyone.

Rich: 29:29

It's my favorite. The crew was happy we walked on and they were like, you made it like guys, like, everyone was so we were supposed

Unknown: 29:36

to be full,

Rich: 29:38

and they were so nice. And it was like a red eye flight where everybody was sleeping. And they were like, we wish we had more time with you. And we were like, respectfully, I just want to go home, but thank you. Airport bar or lounge access with no drinks,

Andrew: 29:54

I'm so I'm not a lounge person.

Rich: 29:56

I'm not either. I want to be

Andrew: 29:58

where the air people are exactly airport bar me.

Rich: 30:02

Yeah. I also feel like the lounges, like at least from friends who are using them often, are chaotic these days, like there's lines for them. They're crowded, like you might as well just be sitting out with everybody else,

Andrew: 30:17

airplane coffee or only airplane coffee or only airplane wine.

Rich: 30:23

Well, both are usually terrible. So I don't want to make this choice. I don't

Andrew: 30:30

know my my airline has really good coffee,

Rich: 30:34

yeah, airplane wine is usually the worst wine that anyone's ever found.

Unknown: 30:39

If it's twist top, what do you expect?

Rich: 30:40

Well, I mean, they're like, stuff that they serve in first class is okay, but the stuff in the back is usually just like, they're

Andrew: 30:48

like, giant plastic jugs of wine, I don't Oh yeah, actually, the International.

Rich: 30:53

Stuff's not that bad. It's the domestic stuff. It's bad. Giant jug of I guess I'm choosing wine. Who knew? Everyone shocked. Always be recognized by your followers. Or stay anonymous. Oh, stay anonymous, please. Yeah, again, this feels ironic, like with us being like, no, stay anonymous. Here's my face, but I yeah, stay anonymous. It's actually funny how easy it is for us to stay anonymous. I'm surprised by that. I do

Andrew: 31:22

appreciate being recognized, but honestly, I don't do this for that. Yeah, and

Rich: 31:28

I always feel weird when people do it when we're at work too, because I'm like, I'm in work mode and my I'm not there mentally. Um, yeah, so it's always like a funny conversation.

Andrew: 31:40

Recognize all the time when we're

Rich: 31:42

non revving, which I think is funny, that people see me and then see you, ignore you together, and then they're like, wait, I know you from somewhere. And I'm like, both of us. And they're like, no, just you like, we're usually kind of a package deal, you know, the whole two guys on a plane thing, overpriced

Andrew: 32:02

airport food or free airplane food,

Rich: 32:06

overpriced airport food or free airplane food, overpriced airport food, airplane food is not good. I like free stuff, though. So this is saying a lot for me,

Andrew: 32:18

probably overpriced airport food

Rich: 32:20

for me, because at least I get a little bit of a choice. Yeah, airplane food, very disappointing. One traumatic emergency a year or daily, minor chaos.

Andrew: 32:31

Okay, you guys, I'm a weirdo. I really want an emergency at some point in my life. So I would take one a year.

Rich: 32:38

I mean, it depends how dramatic we're talking. Is my life at risk? I don't know, you want it to be like, a little at risk. I want it to be a little at risk.

Andrew: 32:46

And I want to, like, put all my training to use and be like, yes, we made it. I don't know. I'm a weirdo. Yeah, you should be studied. I probably should.

Rich: 32:57

I think I would shoot well, it's the daily, the daily, the

Unknown: 33:02

daily chaos.

Rich: 33:04

Maybe I wouldn't take an emergency to it really depends what it is, though, do I get to blow the slides?

Andrew: 33:08

I've never done it. I want to so bad.

Rich: 33:10

You should start telling your passengers that maybe today's the

Andrew: 33:14

day I do tell people that they're like, are you ready to work? And I was like, No, I came to serve sodas today. I didn't come to work. I don't

Rich: 33:22

want to. If I'm working, you're out of the car. No one's happy, yeah, um, one dream destination every year, or many less exciting places.

Andrew: 33:33

Gosh, I'm a world traveler, so, like, I want to go everywhere, but

Rich: 33:38

doesn't that? Neither one of those that didn't answer the question,

Andrew: 33:42

no, it's one dream destination every year, or many less exciting destinations. I want to go everywhere, so I'm going to take the many less exciting destinations. Ah, okay, because I want to see the whole world

Unknown: 33:54

I see always work

Andrew: 33:56

bachelorette party fights or school field trip flights.

Rich: 34:00

I hate both of them. I would say maybe the bachelorette party I the school groups really drive me crazy. And I know the bachelorette parties are usually a little crazy too, but the school groups like those kids do not listen at all, and there's always one chaperone is like hiding nowhere near these children. And I'm like, I I don't have the patience I worked in a school for a long time, and, well, not really that long when I just don't I'm not here for that

Andrew: 34:38

agreed would be bachelorette parties for me too.

Rich: 34:42

Yeah, yeah, there. You can usually have a little fun with them. Sometimes they get a little crazy, but you can usually have a little fun with them. Always have perfect weather but terrible passengers, or terrible weather with amazing passengers, not great options. I don't want to choose either of those. I think I'm gonna choose the terrible weather with good passengers, though, because, yeah, like, bad passengers are exhausting. But even on those days where you're like, delayed or whatever, and you have passengers who are like, you know, thanks for being here and thanks for being so nice to us. Like, it just makes everything bearable. It's kind of like that whole bad trip, good cruise situation. I would

Andrew: 35:20

agree that would be my choice too, but I don't want to choose. But I don't want to I don't want to chose international trips forever or domestic trips forever.

Rich: 35:31

Well, since we've seen all 50 states, I'm gonna go with international trips for personal travel, yeah, but if it's work domestic I just find them to be so much easier than international trips.

Andrew: 35:46

Okay, I don't think I have a preference. I mean, I go where the airplane lands. It's really.

Rich: 35:54

I don't know. Love that really strong opinion there. Yeah, I really don't have one though, only early report times are only late night arrivals, gross,

Andrew: 36:04

only early reports for me, same. Oh, reserve forever, or really terrible schedule.

Rich: 36:12

Can I get out of the schedule? Can I like trip, trade? Can I, oh, I would assume someone bribe somebody? Yes. I would take a bad schedule, yeah, over being on call reserve.

Unknown: 36:22

You're locked, locked into that

Rich: 36:24

reserve, your traps and your at least

Andrew: 36:26

your terrible trip. You can like UBL,

Rich: 36:28

your crew scheduling is bitch, no. Thank you.

Andrew: 36:32

You can trade or swap or do all kinds of things. Get out of that bad fly, you can't get out of reserve. It's true,

Rich: 36:39

commute or move to a base that you hate.

Unknown: 36:43

Oh, I'd commute.

Rich: 36:44

Commute, for sure. And commuting sucks, but I mean to live somewhere I don't want to live. Yeah, no, thank you.

Unknown: 36:50

No. Thank you. I'd commute.

Rich: 36:52

Here's looking at you, Atlanta. Fly galley or fly lead. Oh, fly lead. I love to be in charge. Oh, same we could never work together.

Andrew: 37:01

We would probably be fighting over that position work every major holiday or miss every summer. Oh, holiday.

Rich: 37:09

I'd rather work Christmas, New Year's Thanksgiving, than miss all of summer,

Andrew: 37:14

all of summer. Yeah, I'd work holidays too.

Rich: 37:17

Always new crew, every trip, or always the same exact crew. Oh, I

Andrew: 37:22

take the same crew. Oh, what

Unknown: 37:24

if they were really bad at least,

Andrew: 37:26

you know the crazy you're signing up for. I think

Rich: 37:28

I'm gonna go with always new crew. I'm sure you will. And this makes sense because of where we both work.

Andrew: 37:33

Yeah, always recline or never recline.

Rich: 37:37

Never recline same.

Andrew: 37:41

I rarely recline same.

Rich: 37:43

And it's an eighth of these people that fight over at eighth that's what's crazy, and they get so mad, and they're even when they're back in your face. It's like, it would just be easier if it wasn't even an option.

Andrew: 37:55

Live out of a suitcase forever, or unpack constantly?

Unknown: 37:59

Ooh, live out of a suitcase forever. Oh, for sure, I hate packing. I hate unpacking.

Andrew: 38:04

I rarely change anything but my underwear.

Rich: 38:06

Honestly, if there was like this magical suitcase that could be like, also a washing

Andrew: 38:10

machine traveling. Oh, are you listening

Rich: 38:14

like, if you could press like self clean on your suitcase and everything in it just magically washed, I would never

Andrew: 38:20

unpack again. Travel Pro, are you listening to us?

Unknown: 38:23

My dream? It would be my dream.

Andrew: 38:25

Same, same, same, same.

Unknown: 38:27

Oh, that's so funny.

Andrew: 38:28

I think we've reached the end of our list.

Rich: 38:30

We have, and I feel like there are a lot of things that I'm really glad I don't have to choose between because those choices were pretty terrible. They were awful, but that's it for today. Join us on Patreon. If you want more content, we're going to release some really fun stuff and extended cuts of some of our favorite episodes. So stay tuned. Go to patreon.com/two. Guys on a plane to join our community. Chat with us, tell us what you want to see from us next and get tons of great stuff all while supporting our show, which we truly could not do without our amazing Patreon subscribers. Thank you to everyone who subscribes already

Unknown: 39:11

before we go. Do you have a galley

Rich: 39:12

gossip for us? I do have a galley gossip. Galley gossip, all right, let's do our favorite segment. This is galley gossip, where we tell a story from one of our followers that you guys submit to us at two guys on a plane comm slash podcast. You can share your story anonymously or not or happy to give you a shout out if you want one. But we love hearing the craziest, wildest, funniest or heartwarming stories that you have to share from life in the sky, whether you're a flight attendant or not, we'd love to hear from you, so send us those stories. Today's story is from Kelly. She is Chicago based. Hi Kelly. Group of friends were on a girls trip. Honestly, they were probably a little tipsy before takeoff, but we let it go, whatever one of them left her phone in the seat back pocket while she was in the lab, the girl next to her saw a message pop up from Jake. With a heart and curiosity got the best of her. She decided to open her friend's phone and realized that Jake was the boyfriend of another girl in their group. Oh, shit. She showed the entire row. By the time we landed, the whole friend group knew about what this girl had done, and at 1.1 of the girls came back to ask the flight attendants if we had any open seats that their group could move around to when we asked why, she filled us in on all the tea. Unfortunately, the flight was completely full, and those girls didn't say another word the rest of the flight. Yikes. That's awkward as hell, and so funny. Jake, if you're out there, you're probably not listening to this podcast, but if you are, you're kind of a dirt bag.

Andrew: 40:47

Also, why don't you change his name? Yeah, the I mean, it scrolls, he's. The Game wanted to get caught, does girl wanted to get caught?

Rich: 40:57

I they're all bad people. Jake, this girl, knowing what she did to her friend, possibly the entire friend group, we were talking about bachelorette parties, and if I would want to work that flight, this is not one place that I want to work. Would want to work?

Andrew: 41:12

What would you do? Ask a lot of questions right now, we don't

Rich: 41:16

have seats to move you to because the flights full,

Andrew: 41:18

but you do have answers back here. And here's this popcorn, and let's

Unknown: 41:23

get you some

Andrew: 41:24

Alice carrier and tell us, how did you meet Jake? And then I would have the other flight attendant take the girlfriend to the front and find out how she met Jake. Oh, I like this.

Rich: 41:34

Everybody's looking on, like the talk show in the galley, yeah,

Andrew: 41:39

yeah, all right. I'm into it. Yeah? I would enjoy this flight immensely.

Rich: 41:45

I love it. Please keep sending us your stories. They always make us laugh and keep us entertained. Go to two guys on a plane, comm slash podcast, and send us those crazy stories. Yeah, we can't

Andrew: 41:54

wait to hear from you join us next time for more humor, heart and stories from our beverage Park.

Rich: 42:00

This episode was brought to you by staff traveler, the number one non rev app if you travel on standby tickets and are looking to make your journey easy and stress free, check out the staff traveler app in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Visit staff traveler.com/two guys to learn more and sign up

Buzz Burbank: 42:17

an ironic media production visit us at I R O N, I C, K, media.com, you.