To Hum is Human

The Role of Intuition in Decision-Making

• Donnabelle Casis

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Featuring: Beth McElhiney, owner of the magical vintage shop Wonderland in Easthampton.

Step into a world where objects tell stories and intuition leads the way.

In this episode, I sit down with Beth to explore how she uses her inner wisdom to guide the curation of her vintage collection—from choosing pieces that "click" to sensing the energy they carry. We talk risk-taking, storytelling through objects, and the powerful pull between people and the pieces meant for them.

Whether you're a vintage lover, a creative entrepreneur, or someone curious about trusting your gut, this episode is full of rich insights and soulful takeaways!

Find me on Instagram @ToHumisHuman and www.sonorouslight.com

SPEAKER_01:

Hi friends, it's me, Donna Bell, your host of another episode of To Hum is Human, the podcast where we explore the transformative power of tuning into our intuition to express our passionate purpose. In this episode, the role of intuition in decision-making, we're diving into the art of intuitive curation. Whether you're a vintage enthusiast, a creative entrepreneur, or someone navigating how to trust yourself more deeply, you are going to love this conversation. I'm so excited to introduce my next guest. Beth McElhenney is the owner of the Enchanted Vintage Shop Wonderland in East Hampton Welcome Beth! Hi! I absolutely love your shop and you always have the most unique and beautiful items, especially on the street. They're always eye-catching. Absolutely. But your journey here wasn't a direct one. In fact, you were quite the traveler and seeker. So I wondered if you could take us back to the time when you first felt the pull to explore. Well, I'm from New York originally. I'm a master silversmith. I have been in high-end retail on Madison Avenue. And when I was about 30, I kind of burned out on New York and went on a journey to Peru with a native elder that I had been studying with for years in New York doing shamanic work. And I went there with her, spent a little over a month trekking around Peru and doing amazing ceremonies and meeting beautiful people everywhere we went. And I came home to New York and it was like culture shock. I could not fit back in at all in any way. I can't imagine. Yeah. It was like energy, like bolt, you know, like slam me down. And I ended up going to Martha's Vineyard for a weekend with my herbal master that I worked with. And she was doing a workshop on herbals medicine. I went for the weekend and as soon as I stepped off the ferry onto the earth there, I turned to her and said, I'm staying. And she was like, what? I'm like, yeah, this is where it meant to be next. And I washed ashore and I didn't wash out for 18 years. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So I built my business there, my jewelry business, my retail store there. I was a firefighter on the islands. I was very- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up. Firefighter. Yeah. I'm a volunteer firefighter. So how did you, this is going to be an interesting conversation. So how did you get into volunteer firefighting? I had been in the fire department since I was young. My dad was a firefighter. He was a captain. My grandfather was a chief. I'm half Irish. It kind of goes with the blood. I was always the only woman in the fire department. And when I joined a Martha's Vineyard, I again was the only woman, but they had had a woman before in the department I was in because I was very hesitant about doing it because back in New York, I knew all the guys I grew up with them. It wasn't a big deal. You know, going into a brand new department, there's a lot you have to deal with as a woman and a lot of, you know, mess, misogyny and macho guys. And, but I can pull weight better than any of them. And after a couple of drills, I realized I knew what I was doing and I got accepted right in as I was, as if I was family that had grown up with them there. So it was great. And I loved it. I did it until I had my knee replacement and then I had to retire because I couldn't crawl anymore. I couldn't do a lot with my new knees. So I did that on the island for a long time. And it was interesting because a lot of times on the vineyard, especially in the winter, our calls would be house fires and often they'd be in the middle of the night. Chimney fires and stuff, candles, heaters would spark things off. And you're out in the middle of the night, adrenaline rush, right? I get back to the house and I was still like jittery, like adrenaline jittery. So I learned to go out and take walks. It didn't matter if it was three o'clock in the morning and it was the vineyard, so it was safe. But I always wore a long white gown. People probably thought I was a ghost because I literally would walk around all of West Hisbury in the middle of the night, just getting my adrenaline grounded back in, getting myself grounded back in, getting my blood pressure down so I wouldn't get long-term... Thank you so much for joining us. In 2008, my landlord for the store that I owned and for the house that I lived in, two different landlords, in the same week told me they needed to, one was selling the property, so I had to close my store, and the other needed to move into the house I was living in, so I was out of housing. And I was just like, okay, it's time to go. Message heard loud and clear. If both come in the same week, it's time to leave the island. So I did, and I moved here to East Hampton. And I have never regretted it. You know, I still get to go back a lot and you have a lot of friends and a lot of clients out there. I go back in the summertime and do shows again now after my accident. So yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, and I know you came to this area because you wanted to be in sort of arts community. Tell us about that. And I wanted to be in the dance community. There's a very strong dance community or was before COVID in North Hampton doing ecstatic dance and dance spree and drum and dance and all that kind of stuff. I studied Gabrielle Roth's work for 30 years. So I very much wanted to be moving and dancing and I used to come to those before I moved here, so it was like the perfect place. And I found Eastworks, which is where I live, and it's a big arts mill building full of amazing people and amazing neighbors. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it

SPEAKER_01:

here. I absolutely love it. I miss the ocean, but I have the mountain. I have the ponds and the lakes. Well, I think that it's the best of both worlds. And if you wanted to go into the city, you could go within a short period of time. Much easier than having to get a boat ride. Right. Well, I want to go back to your shop because, first of all, it sounds like you started off as a silversmith. But what compelled you to actually run a retail shop? Because that's a whole other adventure. Well, I've been doing retail my whole life. And when I had my store, Martha's Vineyard, it was my jewelry and decorative arts antiques. So I've always mixed the two. I've always mixed antiques. And a lot of my jewelry designs have a very kind of talismanic style, antique style to them. When I moved out of New York, all of my stores that I personally owned and didn't run for other people were about that. And here in East Hampton, I opened the store. I used to do arts festivals a lot. in the summer and into the spring and fall, but had a very bad accident on Martha's Vineyard seven years ago now in the middle of the season when I fell down the stairs and got mid-flighted to Boston. And they saved my life and they saved my leg, but I was in a wheelchair for a long time, then onto crutches and a walker. And yeah, it's been a long progress. I'm still considered disabled because I can't walk very far. But once I was on the walker and getting around again, my partner Jeff said, you need a store again because I couldn't do shows anymore. And so that was when I decided, yes, I want a store here. I want it in East Hampton. I want it on Cottage Street. And I put that out into the world. And literally within a week, a friend of mine called me and There was a store that was here that friends of hers had just bought and were gut renovating and needed a tenant. And she knew that I wanted a store and she put us together behind the scene. It never went on the market. They had never owned a retail space before. We all worked together and created this beautiful space that I have. And I had been doing vintage clothing all along also. And I had been doing trunk shows out of my loft at Eastworks.

SPEAKER_00:

And

SPEAKER_01:

so when I did the store, I wanted to really focus more on to vintage clothing and jewelry and accessories, lighter things, smaller things. And of course my enamelware that's actually behind my shoulder on the shelves over there. I still do that. So yeah, the store, I opened up 10 months before the COVID shutdown, which was very challenging. After already having like gotten through a major physical challenge, then all of a sudden I had my store have to go to through the economic challenge of staying open. And good thing is you're still open and you're doing amazing. And, you know, it's nice to see that when the moment was right for you to open the shop, things just sort of happened freely and easily. And that's got to feel like, okay, this is the right thing to do. Because most of the time when things are such a struggle, you're like time to go, time to move on or just time to pivot. And I mean, that must have been a really easy decision for you despite what happened later. But it sounds like it's something that you're obviously meant to do. Now, I'm curious what your interest is in vintage items. They were made a lot better. They're beautifully designed. The clothing nowadays is such junk and it goes straight into the landfill. I have items in my store that are 75, 100 years old and look brand new because they're made of really quality fabrics. They were treated properly. They were sewn. with strong thread, all of that, you know, it lasts, it survives. And of course it all has stories, which I love, you know, it's just like some of the stories I know. And so I just make up in my head. I get told by the family that passes it to me. You know, I do. I get a lot of my items out of estates and auctions and a lot of people that just come to me now because I've been here for quite a while and they call or email and say, I have my grandmother's estate. I have my mother's estate. And, And then I do find out some of the stories, which is really fun. Like what this person wore this to. And I have a whole collection of vintage wedding gowns that I'm going to be doing a big event with. I'm doing a vintage bridal prom and formal wear event. So that's fun to like find the people that they pass to. Certain pieces I call Cinderella dresses because they're so specific in their sizing that there are very few people that will they can find to wear them, especially the very old 1930s, 1940s pieces. But I have some clients that are very tiny and very petite and love vintage because it fits them like it was made for them. Oh my gosh. It's really fun to like pair the piece up with the person and the style of the person and what decade they like. And yeah, it's, it's a challenge and I love it. And I love like styling people. I always have.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like matchmaking too. You're just like, oh, well, this is you and this is totally you. And let's see what that looks like together. Yeah. Sort of like my dresses and stuff are like, well, she went to so-and-so. To me, they really have personalities. They're like, they're almost living because they've survived longer than I have so far. Well, it's almost like you're a caretaker to some degree of these items. Yeah. So here's a question about how you source your items, because it sounds like some people actually... let you know about it, which I love. I love that your reputation is so great. They're like, I need to get these to Beth, which is fantastic. But also too, it's like, are you looking for something specific when you choose items? Like what guides you when you choose some of this? Well, I like true vintage. I don't want stuff from 1990s and 2000 to me. That's, already junk basically in the fabrics and stuff. So I usually say no when people are bringing me that kind of stuff. I go, I specialize from like 1900 to the 1970s. I love the turn of the century, 1910s, 20s, 30s, 40s are like my favorite. I can never find anything in those sizes for me, but I find the right people for them. And I'm, I'm definitely more like, Nice, fine clothing. I don't do grunge. I don't do torn jeans and t-shirts and that kind of, it's just, that's not my style. There's other people that do that. And I always refer people to the other dealers that do that because I know them. But I'm, I'm more about like beautiful treasures, you know, heirlooms that they'll pass to the next generation. There's something about that. There's something about longevity when you're thinking about items that you're seeking. Now, do you remember the first item that you purchased that you were like, this is going to set the stage? Actually, it wasn't an item I purchased. When I was still in college, so I went to Parsons and FIT in New York. And when I was at Parsons, I had a friend who, who was like my mother's age. I assisted her with a collection of jewelry that she wanted to put out. And her mother passed away. So that would have been my grandmother's age, right? And she invited me into the house to go through the closet and it was basically all like 1940s and a lot of beautiful suits that you'd picture Audrey Hepburn in or something. And back then I was a fit size six and I, they all fit me perfectly. And she just gave them all to me. So while everybody else is wearing like, wow, crazy punk. I mean, I had my punk face, but, but like, I was wearing 1940s like suits to school and stuff. So I'm sure that was like, That made you so unique compared to what everyone else was wearing. I didn't really care about that. It's just I loved that. I wasn't really into the punk clothing and the safety pins. And I did have a pink mohawk at one point, but I didn't really love all that. I'd rather have gone back in time and worn the beautiful old pieces. Those were the first pieces I owned that were really true vintage. You know, I've try on my mom's stuff every once in a while, but my grandmother really didn't have anything. There was nothing nice in the family. We weren't, we weren't like wealthy at all. So that was the first time I got to like handle and see really beautiful clothing and wear it. And it was, it's me. So I didn't have to figure out how I was going to pay for it. Well, it's almost like donning a costume in some way. It very much is. And I change my look. I'm like, I'm a chameleon with my style. Every day, I look totally different. I love that. I always have done that. It's just like shapeshifting with my fashion. Oh my gosh. Well, that goes back to shamanism, I'm imagining too. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, do you ever take risks and get something that you're unsure about just because something speaks to you and then... It may or may not be well in the shop all the time. What usually happens

SPEAKER_00:

to those

SPEAKER_01:

pieces? Some pieces are still in the closet, in my storage closet. And I know eventually they'll find the right person. I'm building some collections right now, things that I've invested into that are exquisite, like Pucci, Emilio Pucci from the 1960s. I've been buying, when I can find it, dresses. And I just got a scarf. So all that's actually going away into my storage until I... do one of the higher end shows like a Manhattan show or something. The clientele for that in this area really isn't here because it's too high cost for most of my clients. I try to keep my prices very accessible, like under a hundred dollars for almost everything in the store. There are some pieces that are a little bit higher. And if they are, they're like really high end designers, you know, but there's still like a quarter of what it would be in New York or Boston. Yes, we're lucky to be in this area to be able to get some of those pieces. And I've seen you posting some of the pieces that you have, and they are like works of art. And, you know, sometimes I think you posted a photograph of a wedding dress that looked like it was in such a horrible state. but then somehow you managed to revive it in a way. And it looked like brand new. Like, how do you have the vision to see the potential in a piece when it's so not at its best? Well, I've been, I've been cleaning and washing and mending stuff for years. So I get it. Some people bring me stuff and I'll just say, look, there's no way I can repair this. I can't bring this back, you know? And some, I just don't know. And I'll take a risk. And sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Most of the times, I've gotten to the point where I know what to use on different things and different stains and how to mend things. And then if something's really extensive, I have people I can give it to that will help me with seams or whatever it is because I'm I my skills only go so far in the sewing world it's very limited so I can only imagine I'm not real good at darning I've only done it a couple times eventually I'll I'll really learn how to do that but I haven't my old assistant who's excellent at darning so when it comes to that kind of thing I'll pass it to her to do for me but yeah I have I have some crazy things like what please do tell in the middle of covid i think the store was still closed because we got completely shut down for three months we weren't even allowed to open our doors we were supposed to not even come into our spaces i'm like you've got to be kidding there's nobody in there but me like why can't i access something in my store to ship it so forget that one i'm coming in the back door and i'm getting whatever i need in my store that was ridiculous but anyway I was looking for a jewelry showcase and I didn't want a heavy, you know, plain rectangle showcase. I'd wanted something with like legs that like could dance in the story. And there was a Facebook marketplace post for an Oak antique jewelry case. And it was in the hill towns. I don't even remember the name of the town, but it was up in the hill towns. So I messaged back and forth and I made arrangements to come up for this jewelry showcase. And it was in an old school house. I wish I remember the name of the town, but I don't remember. And I walked in the door and the whole place was filled with clothes, like crazy clothes, costumes. And I'm like, what is going on here? So I met the woman that had put the post up and I'm like, okay, forget the jewelry case for a moment. what's up with the clothes? And it turned out to be a Broadway costume designer that has a house in the Hilltowns that was supposed to open a Broadway museum. Oh my gosh. Up there in the Hilltowns. And he had bought the schoolhouse from the town for a dollar years before, accumulated all these beautiful antique display cases, showcases, and was storing all the costumes and clothing for the Broadway shows. Wow. in the hill towns and was bringing him back and forth. But of course it's COVID. So none of the shows were on. And he had to clear the schoolhouse out because the town wanted it back because he hadn't made the museum. I went back and forth three times filling my car with clothing from this Broadway costume designer who I don't really feel comfortable saying his name. But out of that, let me see if I can turn this around. So you have to see. The headdresses?

UNKNOWN:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Oh, my goodness. So those were both. And there's also a big fan next to the mirror. Yes. All of that was from La Cage a Fall on Broadway. Oh, you're kidding me. Those were the first pieces I bought from him and then went back and got a lot more stuff. So down in my basement, I have some wacko costumes from Broadway shows. And those pieces, which people are constantly trying to buy from me, I'm like, nope, they're not for sale. There's very few things in the store that are not for sale, but those are not for sale. Those are like a lifetime find. You do not ever give up. It's true. But I'm curious what you're going to do with those costumes. Will they see the light of day? Well, they're here in the store all the time. So we talk about them all the time. But the red headdress one, I wanted to create a Firebird costume for Halloween, you know, Tchaikovsky Firebird Suite.

SPEAKER_00:

So I wanted

SPEAKER_01:

to do a Firebird costume, but of course, after COVID, none of the big, huge parties came back. There used to be an amazing party in Holyoke at a club there, and they had this amazing Halloween party every year. And I wanted to like wear it for that and make a whole costume, but someday, someday, if somebody has a really incredible event, That red one's going on my head with a whole costume and I will be like entering as the firebird. Well, speaking of spotlight, I imagine there's a certain rotation going on in your space. And I'm wondering how you spotlight particular items or sort of keep things in storage for a while. Like how does that work? I just changed the whole store over to spring. So basically everything in the store is fresh. I took a whole week, all the winter went away into storage. All the spring, summer came out. I had to change everything on the, on the rail racks and the shelves. And then I just, as I'm, you know, every few days, I just feature something on Instagram or Facebook. If somebody buys a piece and they look fabulous in it and they agree to let me photograph them, then I post that on the page so that people can see that like anybody can find something in here. I want people to see the variety of what's here and the diversity of my clientele so they feel comfortable and welcome to walk in. I have all kinds of clients. I have college kids and I have women in their 70s going to galas and artists going to galas. And I have one client that goes to... North Adams. What's it called? Oh, Mass Mocha. Mass Mocha. She's a featured artist there usually every year. And she goes to this big gala and she's gotten multiple dresses from me for that. I post her on it. I post when people find a bridal dress. So after my event, I'll be posting people in wedding gowns. So, you know, it's, it's, I try to keep it interesting. I'm not great at it. I'm not. You know, a 20-year-old that grew up on social media, that's a big challenge for people my age in this industry because everybody grew up with it. So they built these huge followings. I don't have that. Alice, my cat, has more followers than I do. You should start modeling some clothes for Alice. I know, right? I need nice gala clothes. She likes to put little glasses on her. She likes to put hats on her for the holidays and stuff. She had a... A little flower crown for spring on her that I put on. Oh my gosh. She's very good. I don't think she'd let me put a dress on her. Well, yeah. Cats, maybe dogs. I don't know. I'm curious because I know some of it is a particular time period that you're interested in when you're choosing your vintage items, but you also have personal taste. So How do you balance your personal taste and what you think customers will connect with? I can often tell when somebody walks through the door a little bit about their style, and then I ask a lot of questions. And usually have to do measurements because most people do not, especially women, don't know their measurements at all. And I have such a wide variety of pieces, anywhere from black tie to just everyday skirt and blouse sets and stuff like that. So it's more like just having a conversation with the people that walk through the door, you know, greeting them, making them feel comfortable, and then asking if they're looking for something specific. And if they're not, they just browse the website. the racks and they find things and they try them on and they look good or they don't, you know, I never force anything on somebody. I want them to love it. If they're hesitant, I tell them to wait, come back and try it on again and make sure you love it because I want them to have the right pieces for that. I don't want them to just go into a closet and never be worn. These needs to be shown off. Well, would you say that that's way of, running your shop and sort of how you build things in your shop. Like you've got to love it to include it. Like it's not something you're like, would you take something that you sort of like, or it's only because you love it. I definitely go with my own taste and my own style. When we opened up the store, I didn't know if it was going to work because it's like all of my displays are white because I love color and patterns. clothing. So I didn't want my displays and my walls to clash with what was on the racks. I wanted the pieces to be the stars of the show. So when we first opened up, I was still on the walker. So I had a lot of friends helping me paint all of these cabinets I got off of Craigslist and Marketplace for almost free. They're all TV entertainment units that I stripped out, sanded down, and we painted white. So it all looks like custom cabinetry, but it's just inexpensive pieces that I painted white, you know, but it looks beautiful. And I also like when people walk in, they, they think it feels clean in here. It doesn't smell musty. It doesn't smell like a thrift store because I'm not a thrift store. I need to make them realize when they walk through the door that I'm not a regular vintage store. That's not how I operate. And so I, There's no sticks. There's no bricks. There's no Pioneer Valley, like earthy, crunchy design in my store, which is great for those stores, but it's not me.

SPEAKER_00:

So I just said, I'm going to do it my way and I hope it works.

SPEAKER_01:

And yes, you know, I think you've got a good thing going. Yeah. Well, and when you think about vintage, all of these pieces are no longer made and they're so unique. The beauty of it is that you'll find something there and someone else is not going to be wearing the same thing as you. Right. None of it. And none of this is it's all one off. You know, people can come in for like the same event. if somebody's locals having a wedding or something, or if there was a big city event, like when we had the event at Eastworks in the downstairs space, and we did a big ball for the anniversary of Old Town Hall. And a lot of people came in to get gowns from me for that. And the theme was like 1920s, 1930s, 1940s. And every person ended up with a different piece and they all looked fabulous. And they had so much fun because they felt really special that night. And so I like that. I have parties all the time. And I want people to find opportunities to dress up and celebrate life. Even in our current environment, we need to find those times and those places to celebrate and realize why we're actually here and not just stay in the... a negative depressed state. Don't just wear sweats all the time. Put on something nice and go out on a date. Yes, please. And have some fun. I think what people forget in times of uncertainty is that we can still have joy. Like it's okay to experience joy and do joyful, happy things. And even if it is just wearing something fancy for a few hours, it sort of takes you outside of your daily routine and it kind of puts a little magic and wonder in your life. And so I'd like to know about the name, like how the name for your shop came to you um i love alice in wonderland i love the book i love all of the little quips out of it and the layers of that book of all the books and i and i wanted to create a place of wonder and magic and like also like a sacred container you know like this space is a space for you everybody to come in and feel like they're being treated a little extra special and they're going to find extraordinary treasure. And they cut down the rabbit hole with me. And that was when we got, when we got my little kitten. She'll be four in May when we have her birthday party. When we got her, she was a rescue from South Carolina and a friend of mine found her hiking in the mountains down there and they don't have rescues. They only have kill facilities there.

SPEAKER_00:

So I got a

SPEAKER_01:

text, do you want a kitten? And I'm like, well, I already have two very large cats at home, like large cats. he sent me the next text was a picture of her little face. And I'm like, okay, that's all you had to do. And, um, and so I had to bring her to store with me immediately because she had to keep separated from the other cats. And I lived in a big open loft with no doors or rooms closed off. So I just brought her to the store with me. And, um, it was funny. Actually, we put it on Facebook for my customers to help me name the kitten and, And the first person said, well, it has to be Alice. And I'm like, oh, my God. I could not believe I didn't think of it myself. But as soon as that person wrote that, I'm like, you're right, it's Alice. So she's been Alice in Wonderland the whole time. And she sits on the counter or she'll sit in the window displays and people come to visit her all day long. Never buy anything in the store and that's perfectly fine because she's East Hampton's therapy cat now. I mean, the amount of people that come just to visit Alice every day is so beautiful. Even the mayor loves her. Oh my gosh. Oh, God. Well, it's the next best thing to a cat cafe, I suppose. Absolutely. And I've been in those in Japan. But more are opening around here. I mean, more have opened in Massachusetts. Cat cafes are now in Massachusetts. Wow, that's true. Well, Beth, I'm curious about the more esoteric part of your journey. Because I know you mentioned earlier, you had traveled to Peru and traveled with the shaman. And you also were interested in herbal medicine. I'm curious how, if any of those aspects come into how you move through your everyday life and in your business. Well, it's part of who I am and it's part of my intuition and how I choose to do things and listen to what messages I'm receiving and stuff. I don't, I don't think, well, it does, it goes into my jewelry for sure. And do you still create your jewelry? Are there still pieces there that you continue to... I still have a collection of my jewelry in the store. I'm not doing a lot of it because I got involved into the enamelware behind me and then the store. So I've kind of like put that on hold on the side for a while. But my goal for this next year, I want to start making new pieces. And that's what I was wondering if you had anything on the horizon that you're looking forward to. Yeah, I do. All right. Well, you're going to have to keep us posted on that. I know as an intuitive that sometimes objects carry energy from their, from their owners. Now, do you get a sense of that as you're sourcing your materials? Have you ever wanted to buy something? You're just like, Hmm, this one just doesn't feel right. Yeah. I say no. You definitely say no. I definitely say no to things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It might be the piece itself. It might've been the space it was in. Sometimes when I'm in a, especially a house that doesn't have like the really good positive energy. When I buy items, I always clean them. Everything gets clean when I take it home. And sometimes I just like literally will leave it in moonlight or something to help dispel any energy that got attached to the, to any of the items, whether it's the clothing or jewelry or regular antiques, you know, because sometimes I, There's one house I have in mind in particular that was very, very neglected and had had a lot of damage to the house and some trauma to the family from that house. So I just felt like this needed extra cleansing before I would bring it into the store. You know, I am really careful to keep the energy of the store balanced. Well, I imagine with all the different time periods, all the different households and people who have kept these beautiful items, like it goes back to you being the caretaker, like you're a caretaker of the space. And it's wonderful to know that it's just kind of this cleansed space of beautiful energy because you can sort of see it behind you, just the care that you've put into this beautiful shop. And people know and they probably can feel that as they walk into the room, just how you create this sort of caring and support space and inclusive space. Like, you know, you want, you want everyone to come in and hopefully find something that resonates or not, but just like, welcome come in. Yeah. And I say hello to people as soon as they walk through the door. That's, you know, sometimes that's fair. That's in the back, like reading a book or on their computer, ignoring the people that just walk through the door. It's just not the way I do business. It's like, you know, I'm like, hello, welcome. And then let me know if you need help with anything, but I don't, hover over people. I don't pressure anybody. I want them to be comfortable. And sometimes I can read that somebody doesn't want to interact at all. And I just let them be, do their thing, you know? And if you have any questions, let me know kind of thing. Yeah. I mean, I've been in retail for so long and in so many different sides of it, especially Madison Avenue where I had like major wealthy people, celebrities, like, but it's funny because I'm not good with names and I don't have a good memory. And with my injuries, I've had multiple brain injuries, so I'm not good about remembering people. But when I was on Madison Avenue before my brain injuries, I didn't watch TV. I hadn't owned a TV in years, like 30 years, you know? And I had people walk through the door and I'd work with them in my store and they'd leave. And my assistant would turn to me and say, you have no idea who that was, do you? I'm like, No, who is that? And then I'd find out they're like the major star in some television program. I won't use any names, but one person I became very good friends with because I treated him just like a regular person. And he really enjoyed that. I'm like, honestly, I had no clue who you were when you came into the store. You know, I amused a lot of my customers on Madison Avenue. It's like, I have no idea who you are. You're just a person to me. And I cut that though, because you treat everyone the same. Like it's like, I'm sorry. Money to me means nothing just because you're rich. Doesn't mean you're a good person. Doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's how you behave. You know,

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even on

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the vineyard, I have a lot of celebrity clients out there and they're incognito on the Island. They don't want to be followed by paparazzi and they don't want to be fawned over. They just want to be regular people at their summer home. And that's good with me. You know, I don't, care who you are outside of this conversation and this connection we're having right now, you know? Well, and you also mentioned too, that you're interested in building community. How do you see your shop in the bigger scope of Cottage Street or East Hampton? How do you see it fitting in? Well, when I opened up the store, I went door to door and I did this when I opened up a Madison Avenue too. I went door to door and I talked to the other businesses and introduced myself to everybody because that's what I do. And here on Cottage Street, I did the same thing. And I just started talking to people and most of the people had never talked to each other. So I started a merchants association. I'm like, what do you think? Should we do it? And they're like, yeah. So we started a cottage street merchants association and then we started doing events together as a group on the street. So instead of me just having my own little event on that evening, there might be five other events happening. So people could come in and they can go store to store and have all these different things happening. And yeah, have different treats in different stores and get their girlfriends together. And as a group, just have a drink at the bar and then go shopping, you know, or just go and explore and have fun. So we do that a lot. We've been doing that now for six years. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Is there a certain... time of the month that you do this regularly so people can look forward to it? Well, we have Art Walk, which is on Saturday of each month now. So a lot of people do that. But then we plan events together for different events and holidays. And we're doing the sidewalk sale. You know, we do cultural chaos, obviously, in June. We have the holidays. We have late night shopping events, two of them before Christmas, where we go all out on and we're planning a really fun one this year for Christmas. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait for that. We're going to Whoville on Cottage Street. It's going to be really fun. Oh my gosh. I think we decided we're calling it Christmas in Whoville. That sounds so amazing. Dr. Seuss theme and we'll have the Grinch again. And yeah, so it's fun because we all plan different things and, you know, we pick a date, we pick a topic for that event and then we all tie into it and we share our social media to up business. I'm all about working together so everybody's business comes up. Yes. Not competition. When I started the Merchants Association in New York on Madison Avenue, everybody was like, there is no way you are going to get Barneys to work with Armani's, to work with Ralph Lauren, to work with the little jewelry store. They're not going to do it. I was like, watch me. And I was only in my 20s. And I went store to store and I started talking to everybody. And there was a very bad element on Madison Avenue at the time where there was a lot of robberies. in the stores, like armed robberies of the stores. There were a lot of shuttered stores. There were a lot of vagrants. There was garbage everywhere. It was a time in New York that they cut back on police funding. They cut back on everything. And like, it was not a good scene on Madison Avenue or Fifth Avenue at the time, you know? And so we formed a merchants association and started with a walkie talkie system going all the way up Magnus Avenue from, I think we started at 60th and we went up to 82nd Street and we cleaned up the street. We cleaned up the crime because we worked with the police department and we were the eyes and the ears for the beat cops. Basically, we only had two for the whole street. We started participating in creating change for ourselves, not expecting the city to do it for us, but to help us in partnership. And we did it. And like in a year, it was like a transformation. So that's always been my thing of like, if we all work together, we can change. create change. If it's one person up against a lot of things, it's very hard. But if you share a same goal or intention and you do it as a group, just like in energy work and shamanic work, it changes. Things change. Change is constant. You just have to create it. Create it. And how beautiful to bring in community in different ways. I love the whole community versus competition. Because if we lift each other up, it's just a stronger, more beautiful, diverse community. And wow, that's incredible. I use an example of 47th Street in New York, which is the jewelry district where I worked for a while. You have two streets there that have hundreds of jewelers, hundreds of little tiny jewelers. And yet it thrives. People come from all over the world to go there because they're The access to so many different people and so many different styles and skills and the ways of working, they literally, they all succeed.

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And

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they're in this little tiny section of New York City. So it's the same kind of thing because you gather together, you know, people come more and more. Especially here on Cottage Street in East Hampton. East Hampton is huge. Like in the last 10 years, it's really blown up. It's bustling. It's bustling. Really different. I love it. Well, if one of our listeners that come here to get some advice about how to run their business, is there anything you would impart from your experience? I would say do not open, especially retail business or any small business until you've done some workshops. You've spoken to other business people. You've done a business plan. You have a clear vision of what you want to do. Don't go into a lease without a lawyer looking at it. I've had a lot of spaces and I've helped a lot of people in their businesses, but a lot of people are very naive. Oh, I'm going to retire and I'm going to open up this little store without any clue of what it entails. And people like, Even my own family would say to me, oh, you can go help with that because you work for yourself. So you could take time off. I'm like, excuse me? No. Because I work for myself, I work two times as hard as anybody else. If you're clocking in from nine to five in a corporation at a regular job, I'm not. I'm working all the time. You know, my days off are not days off. There are days to go do other things for my business. You have to be willing to understand that if you're going to thrive, if you're going to succeed, it's going to have to consume all parts of your life and things are going to have to go on hold at times. Um, or like for me, I do Brimfield. So the store gets closed for that week. I go out to the vineyard for July. So the store gets closed for that week. And I sent a lot of communications out to my clients so that they know that they're not going to get disappointed because they could come and I'm closed because they know I'm going to be closed because I send them emails, you know? And communication is really key to all of it too. Just like you, you have to stick to your hours that you say you're going to be open and you have to stick to what you tell you're going to people you're going to do for them. So that grows a good reputation too. Like people will recommend you because you follow through on stuff for them. Yes. Yes. Well, and how about trusting the process? Is that something that you would? Yeah. I mean, it's always, especially for us women, a lot about gut instinct. You know, it's like for me, when I saw this store space, I'm like, this is the space. When I saw Eastworks, I'm like, this is where I'm living next. But I listen. If I'm coming up against a lot of walls, I'm like, nope, nope. I don't want to do that. I don't want to work with that person. I'm not going to do this thing. I'm overextended right now. I can't be on that committee. You know, I get myself saying yes to too many city committees. I'm starting to learn boundaries and that, like say, no, if I want my business to thrive, I need the time to put in that and not be giving away my energy so much because a lot of stuff I'm part of, I volunteer. And so just knowing what your limitations are of how much energy you can expend in other directions is really important, you know, for all of us in so many ways, whether it's your family or school or whatever it is, you have to really like, if you don't nourish yourself first, you're going to fail, you know, whatever it is, whatever your, your situation is that you're trying to manifest, you know? Um, It starts at home. It literally starts at home first. And listen to your instincts. The few times I've ignored them, I went to do a big show in Texas a couple of years ago. It's a big show and I've done the show before, but not for years. I was excited to do it. But from the moment I started preparing for it, things went wrong. The day we were leaving Texas, Things went wrong with the bus with like smoking breaks and things breaking and having to go back to mechanic and snowstorm coming in. We had to outrace. And then like, literally like it was a miracle. We even made it to Texas with my bus. I did the show. It was horrific. I made no money until the last day I was breaking down. The show was over already. And somebody wandered in who thought the show was that next day and it wasn't. And I was one of the only people left and she spent money with me. So it paid for the expenses of the show and everything. And then we're leaving and we drove through two shootings along the way and we threw this and that. And I get back, get all the way from Texas back to Eastworks and I pull my bus into the parking space and Jeff's like, you're leaking fluid. I'm like, what? And we get out of the bus and my transmission had gone. It got me to my parking space at Eastworks and said, I'm done. I'm never doing that trip again. Boom. That's not a sign. I don't know. I know, right? It was like the whole trip was signs. And I should have just turned around from when we left to hit the road. And we hit three things at once. I should have just listened. But I had invested into the show. I had invested in my energy and my money and my passion. my preparation for my image, like I'd invested so much. It's hard to give something up if you've got that much into it ahead of time. And I never should have done it. And Jeff and I looked at each other and said, we're never going to Texas again. Well, lesson learned. I guess the whole point was a lesson. A very long lesson. Very long lesson, but you remembered it, right? Now you remember it and you're like, boy, I really should have trusted that. Absolutely. Well, Beth McElhenney, you are clearly someone who has succeeded successfully worked with trusting your gut and running a successful vintage shop. I mean, it's just such a beautiful sanctuary just to be in that space, let alone then be able to take something home. It's kind of like a treat, right? I've had people say, I used to have a lot of antiques in here also, and I used to have people say, It's like a museum in here, but I can buy it. Well, isn't that, I mean, that's kind of a really special thing. It's really sweet. Yeah. I just love that. So how do folks connect with you if they want to know more about Wonderland or if, if there's any way they can follow the shop? I'm on Instagram and I'm on Facebook. I'm on Instagram. Facebook, it's Wonderland413, because there are other Wonderlands, obviously, and 413 is our area code. And on Instagram, it's WonderBoutique413. And then Alice has her own Instagram account. What is that? AliceInWonderland413. Oh, my gosh. You might as well follow all of them. I'd love it. I love it. I sell on Etsy. And it's Wonderland 413 as well. And I have pieces in the Etsy store that aren't on the racks in the store because they're antique pieces. I do have a whole collection of Victorian and my oldest piece, which actually doesn't get displayed at all. Only if I'm doing like a really specialized show is from 1840. Oh my goodness. Yeah. But those kinds of pieces can't be exposed to a lot of light or handled a lot. So they don't come out. People don't get to see those, but I have them. A lot of the antique pieces that don't go on the rack in the store because it can't be like moved and handled and ice cream fingers on them and stuff like that. Right, right, right. So that's on Etsy. Is it also under Wonderland? Wonderland 413. Wonderland 413. Beth McElhenney, I'm so glad we came together and had this amazing conversation. And I hope people check you out. No, you make it easy. But I just, you know, it's because you love what you do and you can feel the passion and the care and the love and what you have created in East Hampton. So I hope people check out Wonderland. It's right on Cottage Street. And just look around, say hi to Alice and see if there's something there that pulls you. Exactly. If not, just come visit and say hi. Just say hi. So thank you so much for joining me today. Have a good one. Thanks so much for tuning in today. I'm so glad you spent this time with me. If something in this episode resonated, feel free to share it or pass it along to someone who might need that little spark. Until next time, keep humming.