Operation “Never Too Much”

In this episode the bullshit plagues continue as God dives deeper into his magic bag. So deep that we are swarmed with unbelievable nonsense. Suspend logic, reason, and natural occurrences as God conjures up Operation "Never Too Much.”

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Welcome to What the Fuck Bible Stories. I'm your host, G Spot.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

And I'm Jada B. Nutty.

SPEAKER_05 0:05

Thank you for joining us and feel free to be as unhinged as we are. Quick disclaimer.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

We are not here to attack anyone's personal faith. We are just rereading the biblical text as is and having fun with it.

SPEAKER_05 0:16

Yes, having fun with it. And Jada, we still gotta talk about God's stupid plan and his dumb ass plagues.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

He's still on this shit. Lazy ass plagues. Plagues in which I don't think he even at this point had anything to do with. Like these were just subsequential effects of things that took place from the very first plague, and that's it. These are just aftershocks of that dumb ass blood plague. Yeah, these are all just literally from the blood plague. This is just all aftershocks at this point. And you'll see is God didn't really actually do none of this shit.

SPEAKER_05 0:51

So yeah, so last episode, we had bloody water, we had frogs, we had fleas, we had flies. We just had a bunch of nonsense that Africa already have. So yeah, so we're we're still at Jake's magic shop. God still pulling tricks out of that 1099 bag. Like Jack, whoever you are, don't do that no more. Don't don't sell God no more bags.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

We see why you're out of business. Your tricks is trash. Your tricks is trash.

SPEAKER_05 1:22

God ass took that bag and started killing folks.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

He took that bag.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Or uh or allowing folks to die because he did not have anything to do with the next nine plagues. I'm so serious. After Bloody Water, you don't have to do anything, like everything just panned out the way. Excuse his little magic for evil. I don't know. God went on a rampage. Rereading this story, it does not have the fear and gusto that it had for me as a child.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

So we're we're gonna continue with the bullshit uh plagues and with this episode operation never too much, because God's keep that shit going.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

And Jada, take it away. So we're gonna get started with Exodus chapter 9. And just in case you're following along, we are reading the New Revised Standard Version updated edition. I will start off with verse 1.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Then the Lord said to Moses, Go to Pharaoh and say to him, Thus says the Lord, the God of the Hebrews, let my people go so that they may serve me. For if you refuse to let them go and still hold them, the hand of the Lord will strike with a deadly pestilence, your livestock in the field. The horses, the donkeys, the camels, the herds, and the flock. But the Lord will make a distinction between the livestock of Israel and the livestock of Egypt, so that nothing shall die of all that belongs to the Israelites.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

The Lord set a time, saying, Tomorrow, the Lord will do this thing in the land. And on the next day, the Lord did so. All of the Egyptians' livestock died, but none of the Israelites' livestock died. Pharaoh inquired and found that not even one of the Israel's livestock had died. But the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, and he would not let the people go. Verse 8.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Then the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, Take handfuls of soot from the killing, and let Moses throw it in the air in the sight of Pharaoh. It shall become dust all over the land of Egypt, and shall cause festering boils on humans and animals throughout the whole land of Egypt.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

So they took soot from the killing and stood before Pharaoh, and Moses threw it in the air, and it caused festering boils on the humans and animals. The magicians could not stand before Moses because of the boils, for the boils afflicted the magicians as well, and all of the Egyptians. But the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he would not listen to them, just as the Lord had spoken to Moses.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Then the Lord said to Moses, Rise up early in the morning and present yourself before Pharaoh and say to him, Thus saith the Lord, the God of the Hebrews, let my people go, so that they may serve you. For this time I will send all my plans upon you, yourself, your officials, and your people, so that you may know that there is none like me at all you. Indeed, by now I could have stretched out my hands and struck you and your people with pestilence, and you would have been craft from the earth. But this is why I have let you to show you my power and to make my game without to outfall of the earth. You are still shocking yourself against my people. By not letting them go. Tomorrow at this time, I will cause the heaviest hill to fall that has ever fallen in Egypt from the day it was founded until now. Therefore, and have your livestock and everything that you have in the open field brought to a secure place. Every human or animal that is in the open field and is not brought under shelter will die when the hail comes down upon them.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Those officials of Pharaoh, who fear the word of the Lord, hurried their slaves and livestock off to a secure place. But those who did not regard the word of the Lord left their slaves and livestock in the open field.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

The Lord said to Moses, Stretch out your hand towards the heavens, so that hail may fall on the whole land of Egypt, on humans and animals and all the plants of the field in the land of Egypt.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Then Moses stretched out his staff towards heaven, and the Lord sent thunder and hail, and fire came down on the earth, and the Lord rained hail on the land of Egypt. twenty four. There was hail with fire flashing continually in the midst of it, such heavy hail as had never fallen in all the land of Egypt since it became a nation. The hail struck down everything that was in the open field throughout all the land of Egypt, both human and animal. The hail also struck down all the plants of the field and shattered every tree in the field. Only in the land of Goshen, where the Israelites were, was there no hail. Then Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said to them, This time I have sinned. The Lord is in the right, and I and my people are in the wrong. Pray to the Lord, enough of the of God's thunder and hail. I will let you go. You need stay no longer. Moses said to him, As soon as I have gone out of the city, I will stretch out my hands to the Lord, the thunder will cease, and there will be no more hail, so that you may know that the earth is the Lord's. But as for you and your officials, I know that you do not fear the Lord God. Now the flax and the barley were ruined, for the barley was in the ear, and the flax was in bud, but the wheat and the spelt were not ruined, for they are late in coming up. So Moses left Pharaoh, went out of the city, and stretched out his hand to the Lord. Then the thunder and the hail ceased, and the rain no longer poured down on the earth. But when Pharaoh saw that the rain and hail and the thunder had ceased, he sinned once more and hardened his heart, he and his officials. So the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, and he would not let the Israelites go, just as the Lord had spoken through Moses. Pause. GG G.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

Y'all know. Y'all already know what's about to happen. The bullshit start.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Once again, making claims that he's the powerful one, and something that took place that was naturally gonna take place anyway was because of him. Like he he wants us to believe that some soot turned into boils, not people walking around dead animals and not being able to cleanse themselves because the water is still bloody in Egypt. That's not why people have boils. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 8:06

Like I said, there's still dead fish all in the water. There's still dead fish, alligators, crocodiles, sharks, rotten fruit and vegetables, rotten fruits and vegetables.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

The boils couldn't possibly be from from eating, from eating, you know, damaged meat or you know, rotten vegetables. It couldn't be from that. No, no. It was it was the god, right? Apparently.

SPEAKER_05 8:28

Right. And remember the gnome was all over the livestock, maggots all over the livestock and shit. Now we got pestilence. Like, I'm so sick of this. Like, why he just like to kill everything? I don't know if y'all, I don't know where y'all are gonna believe us when I say God's favorite color is red. Like J said, he ain't beating allegations. His favorite color is fucking red.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

It's red. My real question is if we're gonna go ahead and credit him with this, because now for me, he's not beating the allegations that he let natural selection take place and just claimed that it was his work, okay? Because that's what really just took place, if you line up the last four plagues. But looking at this, what is there left to kill? Thank you. I mean, between seven days of blood, fly flies, gnats, and you've already um All the plants and trees. You've already killed all the plants and trees, like just dead fish. You know, for for all of Egypt, what is there left to kill that you are still sending death already? I mean, they act like the angel of death is the problem. No, death was already here. Death was literally like, what what am I surprised that you're still asking me to collect souls that I don't know what's left to collect but human at this point. You have killed everything else. There was nothing left to kill, and he still thought pestilence was a good fifth plague. So if we're gonna say this is his work, it's lazy work at best because there was nothing left to kill. Right. And it's easy to kill everything, very easy.

SPEAKER_05 10:04

That's probably the the easiest trick in his book. And then, okay, so this is how you know this Bible's a lie. Okay. The Israelites are slaves. What livestocks do the Israelites own?

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Absolutely. Absolutely. That's how I acting like somebody here in America family was enslaved and their descendants have like billions of dollars because they owned property at the time of enslavement. Like, what are you talking about? It just did not happen in any in any form of slavery at any point of the earth. Slaves owned nothing. They barely owned the rags that they had to wear.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

They couldn't own nothing. They didn't even own their own body. How do they gonna own a fucking cow?

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Like I said, the laziest plague ever. This is such a logic. There was no positive in this.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

Are you saying there were some free niggas out in Egypt somewhere? There were some free niggas that own some cows. See, that he didn't touch the rich city. He swear they ain't Goshen. He swear they laid that.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Because he just like, out of hat, that's that's the city that I'm gonna protect. Like, and I guarantee telling me that must have been that city. One Israelite undocumented that no one ever talked to or have any information on that was rich and lived in Goshen because God knew, and that's the city he protected. Because no other slave would have owned anything. If they were all enslaved, nobody would have owned anything. So there was nothing to protect. But again, taking credit for something that would naturally happen. If people are hanging around dead bodies, unclean water, no fresh plants, they're gonna get boils and sores and have sickness anyway. So he did nothing.

SPEAKER_05 11:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

The soot was for show. Right. The soot was for show.

SPEAKER_05 11:49

Exactly. Hold on. Okay, so before we get to the bulls, I want to read six again. Because it says that on the next day, the Lord did so. All the Egyptian livestock died. Everything is dead. So if everything the Egyptians had is dead, wait till we get to the set. We're gonna go down to the seventh plague and be like, Exactly, what are we doing? Well, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Everything is everything from the the first three plagues. We we went from blood, we went to flies, we went to gnats, we went to frogs. I think there was frogs and gnats. I might be out of order at this point. But what I'm saying is all of those, all of those are remnants of death anyway. I mean, the fly the frogs would be there because of the flies, but the gnome alone are remnants of death anyway. So there's already plenty of death. So when you get to the boils and plagues, the soot, they just LeBron James that shit. That's it. It was just for show. In basketball, LeBron James before every game puts powder in his hands and then he claps them up in the air so that the powder billows down, and it's it's a spectacle. Again, I'm not a LeBron James fan, but I know this from watching him play. And that's literally all Moses did with this soot because the boils and the freaking pestilence was already there. These people are scrounging for food amongst dead animals. They're looking for water or some type of hydration amongst bloodied water with dead fish in it. Of course, they're gonna have disease and sickness. There's no reason to pretend like this was anything that the God actually did or had anything to do with. This was another one of those natural selection taking place type situations, and he's taking credit for it.

SPEAKER_05 13:35

They they drinking dirty water. That's dirty water. They drink, they eat infested meat.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Right. There's no filtation system. There's no way this water would have been clean after seven days. There's nothing, there's nothing to drink.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

Immersion, like, what the fuck y'all doing? Hello? Can I get some clean stuff so I can work properly? Their immune system's just popping off, just popping off the board. You feel sick when you get these balls. So imagine like a whole people having this constantly. That this shit is is harmful. It hurts. These people are miserable. What is God doing? The the the suffering that he throws on people is just ridiculous. Because keep in mind, this is God. This is the one that can do everything. This is the 1099 nigga magic, Jack's magic shop, nigga. He spent him some coin. He couldn't just change Pharaoh Hart because these Egyptians, not every Egyptian had a slave. Not every Egyptian was out here saying, fuck you to Yahweh, the Lord. Elohim. Everybody wasn't doing that.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

But they were being, they were it's fuck saying, hold on. Saying fuck they didn't know who the fuck he was. Like this is the main thing. He they nobody, nobody going through these plagues, slave or Egyptian alike, knew who this God was. This conversation was only taking place between Moses, Aaron, and Pharaoh, and maybe his officials, because that basically by the next plague, they they now the officials fear the word of the Lord. But the whole of Egypt had no idea what was going on based on this text. And then I wanted to point out, just real quick, I wanted to point out that nowhere in this text do we hear that the slaves stopped working. So they are still expected, they are still expected to be working through the midst of all of this. I don't know how God thought this was gonna end well for him. Because if I was one of them slaves and I came out of this whole situation and met the guy, it's hands on sight. You could have just came and said hello. You could have came and, you know, blessed me with an extra meal that day and would have gotten more praise than the shit you just put me through. This makes no fucking sense. It doesn't.

SPEAKER_05 15:52

It makes no sense. And I want to point out, okay, I know we say that we we're not making fun of your faith, but I if if there's any Christians out there, reason with me here. If this is the God who started everything, if he's truly the one and only God, why don't the fucking Egyptians know who he is? Why didn't Israel know who he is? Why is he selective with the Israelites? The Israelites and Egyptians were not the only two nations in the world. Why ain't he the God of the Assyrians? Uh the God of the Persians, the god, like where where is this fucking God? Like, just really think about this shit.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

They like what Jada said, they don't know him. Why how why?

SPEAKER_02 16:33

If he made everything, I wouldn't even Yeah, I'm gonna say, because even if they're not worshiping him, if he is the creator of all, they would all know him. God should be that way amongst uh Egyptians and Israelites alike, because his name should be a name that they should at least know if he was the creator of all. Not even liked enough to be remembered for being the creator of all because 400 years ago, nobody, nobody says his name enough for anybody to know who he is.

SPEAKER_05 17:02

Y'all just call me Louis, just call me I am. Like, who because Moses, like, well, who who am I supposed to say sent me? Oh, just just say I am. He's supposed to already know you are the fucking creator, you the one. That's okay. Okay, I'm gonna get off this little soap bot. I'm gonna leave y'all little Christians alone and y'all little sweet baby Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Well, I'm not gonna leave the God alone. The God was quite literally such a nobody that he had to he had to fearmonger somebody with connections to get in there. That's what he did. That's if we're gonna be 100% honest about how God got this shit started, he didn't know nobody. So he was like, How can I get close to the palace without actually getting close to the palace? You know what? That Moses catter, boom, fire to the bush. And from there, it's it's literally just been a it's been a natural selection type shit show. Like, that's it. God damn. That's it.

SPEAKER_05 17:55

He had no connections. God damn, Jada. You done hit the nail. Well, it's a it's a natural selection until we get to the seventh plague, because I'm calling bull the fuck shit. Okay. Because you ain't gonna you ain't gonna convince me that them niggas that's right there, that's that's looking at the equator, touching it, putting their foot on it every day, has some fucking freezing right.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Right. No, I'm saying I I'm I am saying 100% that this would have never been 10 plagues had stuff never died. Like he got a free four plagues from the stuff dying in the first place.

SPEAKER_06 18:31

He got a freebie with he got a freebie with the blood water.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

He got four freebies with the blood water because that's the old that's everything else was gonna happen regardless. So he didn't have to do shit. He didn't start doing shit again till the seventh plague. That's when he jumped back in and started doing it.

SPEAKER_05 18:52

Okay, okay, okay, so I got you. Okay, so here it goes, here it goes. So the 1099 bag. He used it for plague one. And then got you, gotcha, yes, and then two plagues recurrence. So now he's okay. So the seventh plague, he's back in the bag. Gotcha. That's that 1099.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

That's why he was able to get a few extra plagues out of it. Otherwise, we'd only been looking at four plagues. That's it. There'd have been four plagues, and that would have been it because they would have all came from the magic trick bag. But he got four extra ones. So what would happen naturally?

SPEAKER_05 19:26

He got a couple of freebies out of the deal. He got him a good deal at Jack's magic shop. Okay, let's talk about this fucking seventh plague, Jada. We got ice balls. Fireballs, ice fireballs. Like what? Yes, because ice burn.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Is it dry ice? Must be. It's from the magic bag, so it must be.

SPEAKER_05 19:48

It's gotta be dry because regular ice, it numbs. But yeah, we got ice that burns hot as fire. Then, okay, so here's this bullshit guys all. He tells them to secure your slaves. Okay, so what the slaves? The Israelites? Okay. So secure the slave, Israelites, and then the livestock. And if you don't secure them, both slave and livestock are gonna die.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Again, because he didn't care.

SPEAKER_05 20:16

So he's still killing off his people to prove a point.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

To prove a point.

SPEAKER_05 20:21

First of all, he's killing off ghost animals. Because now these these days he's killing off the animal spirits at this point. Because there's no more animals in Egypt. There's just there's no more livestock. But now he's killing his slaves. If if the Egyptian officials don't protect their slaves, ain't he the god of the slaves?

SPEAKER_03 20:39

But he's telling the Egyptian men to protect the slaves.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Should he be able to direct where the hell lands? Like, is this coming down like oops, that's an Israelite, don't hit that nigga. Oh, that's the Egyptian. Go ahead, smack that nigga out. Like, he should he should have a little more control over this magic trick, I feel like. But he in not only that, I wanted to also point out that the unnecessary acting again taking place where he is telling Moses to go and talk to Pharaoh. It's like you're you're you're already hardening his heart. Why do they have to have a conversation about each and every one of these plagues when when you go do it anyway? You were doing this anyway. You are the cause and the effect of this current situation. And at this point, I feel like Moses and Aaron should have like, they should be able to skip leg day for the rest of their life because they've been walking back and forth to the palace.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Where were they staying? Where were they staying? In Goshen?

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Not in the palace because they had to rise up and go and present themselves every time. I mean, like, they they wasn't on the same wing anyway.

SPEAKER_05 21:48

Literally, you know, in a different chamber. Because where were they? Where did the bitches go after they did this shit with Pharaoh? What did they come?

SPEAKER_02 21:56

It makes that's actually starting to make more sense. Like, I feel like they did. Didn't leave the palace at this point because ain't no fucking way they was walking up from the village every day having this conversation.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

They had a guest house at the palace.

SPEAKER_05 22:10

Like listen, somebody, somebody pray and ask where somebody figure out where Moses and Aaron were. They kept doing this bullshit with Pharaoh. And how come he ain't killed them yet? That's the other part. Absolutely. If I kill you, God go away. Y'all his mouth, y'all his mouthpiece. So let me kill his mouthpiece. So he can stop fucking talking.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

As the Pharaoh, as the Pharaoh, that should have been an option at some point. But I mean, could it be considering that the guy was controlling, I guess you'll say, Pharaoh's decision making at this point. That would be the only the only excuse for Pharaoh not killing Moses after after round two.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Don't give no, you know we don't give God shit. He didn't protect his own people. He's trying to free. They can say the Egyptians, hey, y'all protect my people. Y'all protect my slaves. And if y'all don't protect my slaves, I'm gonna kill them too.

unknown 23:03

What protection?

SPEAKER_05 23:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Literally. Literally. Like you protect people by killing them? He does. He he he really he really thinks that this is I I don't know how this worked out for him. I don't know how this ever worked out for him. Because I don't see anybody in 2026 going through no shit like this and coming out of it and going like, no, no, absolutely I'll worship you. You said go go burn the in the sacrifice over here. You want one or two calves. Like nobody is doing to do that for a guy that that introduces themselves like this. Because that's that's what I want to specify is the most important part of this, is that he is introducing himself like this to an entire nation of people, Israelite and Egyptian alike, and somehow walked away with worshipers. Like, if that's not peak narcissism, I don't know what is. Because how? If somebody came up to me and said, You gonna worship me or I'm gonna kill you, and the people who won't let you worship me, I'm gonna send plagues that are gonna affect you too the whole time. And when it's all over, you are still going to worship me or I'm gonna kill you. Like, I just I don't see how this thing with worship.

SPEAKER_05 24:18

It's dumb ass. Like, if if y'all don't think this is the dumbest plan in the world, please tell me what one that's dumber than this. One stuff more asinine than this. We're all ears send us an email. Y'all will y'all have the email at the end of every episode. Send it to us. I want to know a plan dumber than this for all of our listeners. Give us a dumber plan. Because this has got to be the dumbest. Okay, and I want to talk about okay, let's move down to this shit because this is where I get ticked off at Moses. I know God don't fucking like okay. Let's go to verse 30. It says, But as for you and your officials, I know that you do not yet fear the Lord God. Bitch, how you know that? You don't know how many plagues God's gonna give them. God didn't tell you no, every time you go to him, you like God, okay. Pharaoh said that he's gonna let him go if you just do this. And every time God be like, Look, bitch, now he ain't, because I still want to play. But he don't know that until he goes talk to God. So what you talking about? Like now all of a sudden you got knowledge, just sit your stuttering ass down, Moses.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

I mean, and that and the I mean, everything from verse 27 down to 35 is just out of whack because I mean you're saying that God wasn't controlling Moses, but wasn't controlling Pharaoh, but Pharaoh sound like he just broke free of the mind control for two minutes and was like, yo, yo, yo, I've sinned. Hey, tell your God to stop this shit. So y'all can go. I don't, I don't even care anymore. Y'all can go. You take your people, do whatever you gotta do, just stop this shit. And then once it stopped, all of a sudden he hardened again. Like I'm telling you, it's mind control. That's remnants of somebody who came out of an affliction, real quick, you know, some some supernatural shit. And was like, yo, this me talking. This the real Pharaoh. Okay, let y'all can go. I said it already. Y'all can go. And then now all of a sudden, after it's over, nah, I'm just kidding. Nah, that sounds like mind control, period.

SPEAKER_05 26:15

He's my Moses know that he's mind controlling Pharaoh because God told him the shit. But what God didn't disclose was how long he's gonna have his people to suffer. Moses didn't know there was gonna be fucking 10 plagues. So, what is all this bravado talking about? Oh, I know y'all don't fear the Lord. Yeah, you bitch, you don't know. You don't know until God says, Okay, fool, I'm tired of playing with you, I'm tired of playing with them.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Like, I honestly don't even know why Moses was that invested at this point. Because from the beginning, he didn't want the job. Why in this conversation do you feel like you're gonna you're gonna tell Pharaoh about himself? You know his mind. Like, no, like sir, you didn't want the job. You you almost got killed over this job. Like, at this point, I I would just be there same shit, different day. Got it. Because Aaron was like, I'm not saying shit else about this. What why are we going up there?

SPEAKER_05 27:04

Like, exactly, because Aaron ain't saying shit.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Aaron, like, uh Aaron ain't saying shit for two plagues at this point.

SPEAKER_05 27:10

I'm just glad I ain't gotta, I'm just glad I ain't got bills, no shit no more. I'm just not a slave no more. Aaron, like shit. You're gonna get us in trouble.

SPEAKER_06 27:18

Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

I'm telling you, man. Unnecessary amount of talking.

SPEAKER_05 27:23

We gotta move on because we gotta more plagues because you know it's never too much this episode. All right, sorry, I'm about to continue. So strap in and strap up. We're in Exodus 10. And all rise for the reading of the scripture? Verse 1.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Then the Lord said to Moses, Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his hearts and the hearts of his officials, in order that I may show these eyes of mine among them. And that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I have made fools of the Egyptians, and what size I have done among them, so that you may know that I am the Lord.

SPEAKER_05 27:57

So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said to him, Thus says the Lord, the God of the Hebrews, how long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, so that they may serve me. For I for if you refuse to let my people go, tomorrow I will bring locusts into your country. They shall cover the surface of the land so that no one will be able to see the land. They shall devour the last remnant left you after the hail, and they shall devour every tree of yours that grows in the field. They shall fill your houses and the houses of all your officials and of all the Egyptians, something that neither your parents nor your grandparents has ever seen. From the day they came to the earth to this day. Then he turned and went out from Pharaoh. Pharaoh officials said to him, How long shall this fellow be a snare to us? Send the people away so that they may serve the Lord their God. Do you not yet understand that Egypt is ruined? So Moses and Aaron were brought back to Pharaoh, and he said to them, Go, serve the Lord your God, but which ones are to go? said Moses. We will go with our young and our old, we will go with our sons and our daughters and with our flocks and herds, because we have the Lord's festival to celebrate. He said to them, The Lord indeed will be with you. If ever I let your little ones go with you, plainly you have some evil purpose in mind. No, never, your men may go to serve the Lord, for that is what you are asking, and they are driven and they were driven out of the Pharaoh's presence. Verse twelve. Then the Lord said to Moses, Stretch out your hand over the land of Egypt, so that the locusts may come upon it and eat every plant in the land, all that the hell has left. So Moses stretched out his staff over the land of Egypt. And the Lord brought the east wind upon the land all day and all that all night. When morning came the east wind had brought the locusts. The locusts came upon all the land of Egypt and settled on the whole country of Egypt, such a dense swarm of locusts as had never been before, nor ever shall be again. They covered the surface of the whole land so that the land was black, and they ate all the plants in the land and all the fruits of the tree that the hell had left. Nothing green was left on the trees or on the plants in the field, in all the land of Egypt. Pharaoh hurriedly summoned Moses and Aaron and said, I have sinned against the Lord your God and against you. Do forgive my sin once this once and pray to the Lord your God that at the at the least he remove this deadly thing from me. So he went out from Moses and prayed to the Lord. The Lord changed the winds into a very strong west wind, which lifted the locusts and drove them into the Red Sea. Not a single locust was left in all the country of Egypt. But the Lord hardened Pharaoh's heart and he would not let the Israelites go. Then the Lord said to Moses, Stretch out your hand toward heaven, so that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt. A darkness that can be felt. So Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven, and there was a dense darkness in all the land of Egypt for three days. People could not see one another, for the three days they could not move from where they were. But all the Israelites had lights where they lived. Then Pharaoh summoned Moses and said, Go, sub the Lord, only your flocks and your herds shall remain behind. Even your little ones may go with you. But Moses said, You must also let us have sacrifices and burnt offerings to sacrifice to the Lord our God. Our livestock also must go with us. Not a hoof shall be left behind, for we must choose some of them to serve God, to serve the Lord our God. And we will not know what to use to serve the Lord until we arrive there. But the Lord hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he was unwilling to let them go. Then Pharaoh said to him, Get away from me. Take care that you do not see my face again, for on the day you see my face, you shall die. Moses says, Just as you say, I will never see your face again. Insane, Jada.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

These are play, listen, these are plays that really just had me like Is he resurrected? They had to come from the magic trick, the magic box, and and locusts are I don't know what locusts eat. I'm not gonna pretend to know what they eat. But if we're gonna say that they eat dead flesh, they were already there. They were already coming at droves. And it this was not the work of the Lord, because there was nothing but death in the land. I mean, if if as much death is going on as we can gather from what he's trying to say he inflicted, the 70% of Egypt at this point is suffering with, you know, death. And I I mean, as far as somebody have died, that there should be that much death going on based on the plagues that have taken place. So the locusts were coming. The locusts were coming. This is another one of those plagues that just you know worked out in his favor. He didn't actually do anything.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

But you see how the writers try to clean it up that they the locusts ate all the plants that the hell left behind.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

It said that the hell destroyed everything. There's no plants left. What the fuck are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Literally. And but before that, but before that, the the gnats and the flies destroyed everything. Redundant as fuck.

SPEAKER_05 33:18

We sound like a fucking broken. We're so redundant. We are this is making us redundant because there's nothing there. Okay. Alright, so let's let's go from the top. This bends me. This arrogant ass God. First, too, that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I have made fools of the Egyptians. If you are the fucking deity of the universe, of the world, of the earth, of the people, of the plant. Why do you need someone to be landing and a boo-boo? I made a fool of you. What is this? What are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 33:54

Listen, why are you planning a long game like that? Like they just they still gotta get to know you. They don't know you, and you already talking about what they're gonna tell their grandkids about. And I'm like, obviously, that is coming from somebody who is not being afflicted and just causing the affliction because I promise you, that's not how this story is gonna go, sir. That's not how this story is gonna go.

SPEAKER_05 34:14

You know what they're gonna tell? You know what they're gonna say? This bitch ass guy made us suffer for some foolishness. Fuck the Egyptians.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

For some foolishness. Yeah, and to those who tried to make us believe that this was a 10-day situation, the blood alone made it seven days. So this was much more, this was probably going on for close to a month, if you want to be technical about the time span in which this stuff took place. This was not day one plague, day two plague, day three plague. No, this was seven days of one plague, a few days of another plague, week of another plague. Like they were suffering for months. So I promise you, no matter how this ended, even though we see we see it ending with them worshiping the God, they were not telling their grandchildren and great-grandchildren that this was a pleasant experience and that their gods outshine.

SPEAKER_05 35:04

First of all, there's none of them motherfuckers left to tell anybody shit. Y'all gotta understand like the grand scale of this. This is not like a little city, this is not like Rhode Island type. Egypt is not the size of Rhode Island. Egypt is like the fucking whole North America is afflicted. Imagine all of I said North America, let's just even say the United States. Imagine every everybody in the United States is Egyptian except for Rhode Island. Let's say Rhode Island is Goshen and he killed all the plants, all the animals, and it everywhere besides Goshen, or besides Rhode Island, America is devastated.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

It's even worse. That's on a grand scale, but we have we don't even have to look at it like that. Only on a small scale, this is devastation. Because if if the Israelites were equivalent to about one 1.2 million, they outnumbered the Egyptians. We would say that would leave the Egyptians between the eight, eight or nine hundred thousand mark. Like we're still only talking about a grand total of about two, two point, maybe I'll say on the high end, two point five million. This many plagues would have easily wiped out half of that population, if not more. Israelites and Egyptians included. Who is worried about grandkids? We worried about living past this moment. The story should be there once was a land named Egypt. And God decided. He thought that he would free them, and instead he just beat them. And now there is no Egypt. Like that's that's where we are, okay? It should just be a nursery rhyme if it was if this actually took place.

SPEAKER_04 36:47

Right. One plague, two plague. You dead, I'm dead.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

That's that's it would be no Egypt. Egyptians would be right up there with the Mayans, like they would be extinct if this took place. Because there's no way a civilization would have survived this happening to them back to back to back for a month.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

And and now, slow as speech, Moses writing shit down because isn't Moses the edit. Okay. All right. I guess there was some education in that magic bag too. Moses dumbass. Literally. And now I'm on Moses because he he's showing his balls now. Because he's like, well, he's talking to Pharaoh. Now he got a little, he got a little off about himself. You know, because at first it was like God gets somebody else, and now he's like, Well, I know you ain't gonna let all of us go. I know you ain't gonna serve my guy. Like, sit you. I know I said this already, but sit your stuttering ass down. What did Aaron say? Because Aaron ain't saying none of this shit. This is Moses.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Not a word. Aaron is just showing up. Because Aaron said, This gets me out of another day of hard labor. So sure, I'll go. Like Aaron is not even participating in any other way but being a good thing. Wait, what?

SPEAKER_05 38:02

And this is what I'm saying, this brought but this bravado that Moses has because in the beginning, and the reason why I keep talking about Moses and his stutter, because that's what I grew up. He said slow of speech. It could just be he could have had a lips, he could have it could have been anything. I just call it a stutter because I think it's funny. And I'm not making fun of anybody with stutter. I gotta fucking stutter. You should see the way I have to edit this goddamn podcast. Because we I stutter all over the goddamn place. But anyway, I'm cool I'm okay with my stutter. So but Moses is saying like it was such an impairment, he he cannot talk, and now all of a sudden he can God didn't take away the stutter. So why are you telling Aaron, hey, look, take it, hey, I got this one. Bitch, y'all ain't gonna serve. We need all our flocks. We need our men, women, and children. We need our like what where's Moses getting all this this top right from?

SPEAKER_03 38:55

Nigga, you still stuttering. Like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

He must be practicing his speeches over and over again before he always feels. I'm telling you, Aaron tapped out. Aaron tapped out. Aaron said, do it yourself. I have nothing else to add to this situation.

SPEAKER_05 39:09

Yep, there. And then like I just, Jada, I'm just this guy is the beginning. That's really throwing me in the beginning. He was like, make sure tell your children and your grandchildren, I made the fool out of Egyptians. What? Like, that's why.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Wait, literally, with him saying that and also admitting that he's hardening Pharaoh's heart again. That brag is not a brag, it's not the fleck that flex that the guy thought it was. Like, it really wasn't. Like you're admitting that you guys are suffering because I'm making sure that this guy continues to hold you guys hostage as after each of these life-ending plagues. But tell your grandkids that I fucked them up, okay? Just make sure you can tell your grandkids that I fucked them up.

SPEAKER_05 39:51

God's a fucking bully. He's a bully. So let's talk about these locusts. Okay. 15. These locusts covered the surface of their whole land so that the land was black and they ate all. That's I keep talking about this all encompassing speech. When you say all, that means everything. That means there's there's nothing, there's no wiggle room. All the plants in the land and all the fruit of the trees that they have they ate all of it. There's that's why me and Jada keep saying there's nothing left, because it keeps saying all. Yep. Every single plant, every single plant bearing fruit is gone.

SPEAKER_02 40:32

That's it. That's it. I don't know what he keeps sending these insects to that need to eat to this area because there would be nothing left. Like I would be locust showing up, like, so is the food coming after we arrive? Or like, because what are we gonna get?

SPEAKER_05 40:50

Is there gonna be entertainment while we wait?

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Do we get a show? Is this dinner in a in a movie? Because there's no food yet. So maybe the show is first. They came by and and Lee left just as quickly.

SPEAKER_05 41:02

And this is how you know that it is natural. Let's do 13. Moses stretched his staff to the land of Egypt, and the Lord brought an east wind. Wind is natural. They would like like Jada be saying, they would be coming anyway. Every seven to I think it's either seven or fourteen years, it in Tennessee, cicadas come naturally. Them bitches come out of the ground and wreak havoc on fucking Tennessee. I I fucking hate cicada season. Locust season is in. This ain't no bush bullshit, God. This is just the locusts show up because locusts show up every so often in the goddamn Egypt. Yeah. If this was real power, God would just make them fucking disappear.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

They would just appear, disappear.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

Exactly. Ain't no wind carrying shit. Wind is natural. That's not God.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

Miss me with that. It was a natural occurrence that he took credit for. Just taking credit for shit. So he, like I said, I said four, but we can say now he got five. He got five for free with his 1099 kit because none of these would have taken place. The slaves still gotta go to work. So there's absolutely no relief of any kind coming from any direction.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

But what are they working on?

SPEAKER_02 42:16

They can still build bricks.

SPEAKER_05 42:17

They can't. There's no more straw. They still make bricks. They ate all they ate all plant life.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Oh well, I mean, listen, slavers have found something for them to do. So I'm sure they found something for them to do in the midst of all that's going on. Maybe they was cleaning the cleaning their enslavers' bodies from the boils or they was you know cutting off their own arms and feeding themselves.

SPEAKER_05 42:41

Yeah, they were they were lasting the boils.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

I'm telling you, they found something for them to do. They wasn't letting them chill out and then and deal with the uh plagues in a relaxing setting.

SPEAKER_05 42:51

For the ones that didn't die from the hell. This guy, okay. Let's move down to this solar clip that lasted for three days. Because I'm telling you. This is about as believable as freezing rain in Egypt. God was like, okay, I'm just gonna let them niggas be dark. They're gonna feel the darkness.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

So dark that they couldn't move. So they were standing still in the same spot for three days. That's what you want me to believe.

SPEAKER_05 43:17

Are you saying that the Egyptians are so stupid they couldn't start a fucking candle?

SPEAKER_02 43:21

Or light a candle. Some oil. Light some oil.

SPEAKER_05 43:24

Or a move where the Israelites are you, they could are you say are you trying to say, see God, I want this how you know that God, yeah, that God is not too bright. He thinks that's that humans are so stupid, humans that have have built castles and homes and and cook food and shit, won't know how to maneuver in the dark.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

I want to know how he managed during the solar eclipse to just have light. I want to know how we go from him protecting one city, Goshen, to now the Israelites had light. lights where they lived. How my how my nigga? How was it light for them but dark for the Egyptians if they was all living in the same area? You mean that the slave Like I don't get it.

SPEAKER_05 44:12

So that's those so the officials had light, right? Because they had each they had Israelite slaves, right? I mean that's what I'm saying. How Pharaoh still had light.

SPEAKER_02 44:23

It doesn't say it doesn't say Goshen anymore.

SPEAKER_05 44:26

Just the what? Just the good people that didn't own slaves, Jaden. Just the good people that had nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

Who didn't say anything about Goshen is there. All the Israelites had light where they live. How do we distinguish who gets light? Is it like a circumference circle around the Israelite and then they get light where they move? I mean because as an Egyptian if that's the case I'm just moving right next to you. There's no reason for me not to move next to you if you just got like a spotlight on you everywhere you go.

SPEAKER_05 44:54

Because if the Israelites had light you can see that so why are you saying that they can't see in front of them there's a there's a a a million fucking Israelites.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

There's light everywhere it's fucking Las Vegas if you're making it dark if you're making it dark like that it absolutely looks like Vegas at this point because all of the Israelites would have spotlights on them. Because that's the only way the Israelites would all the Israelites would have lights on them. That's the only way it would work. Otherwise this is some bullshit the Israelites were suffering too and that was just them trying to cover their ass. That's it. Just trying to cover their ass in in some words.

SPEAKER_05 45:32

They fart light eye they ass so the Israelites were like the radium girls so they'll back not too long ago there was a a a clock factory and they used radium and so the the ladies will take the brush and dip it in the radium and put it on their tongue to paint the um the the watch numbers well radium doesn't usually kill you unless you ingest it. So she they ingested it so they started to glow they call the the the the radium girls it eventually killed them all they died horrible horrible death.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

That's what the Israelites the glory Israelites the radium israelites God get your stupid ass out of here you're gonna have to make up something because it doesn't make any fucking sense there's absolutely no way that he could have had it dark for for the Egyptians but light everywhere there was an Israelite just doesn't make any any sense at all and then again with Pharaoh and and Moses having this pointless conversation because we know that at the end of it God was just gonna harden Pharaoh's heart again anyway and I feel like God was just one more thing. This one more thing I got one more thing for them so I'm gonna harden his heart one more time. He he never had 10 plays planned he had five and and of the five he was like I gotta get I gotta get all five of them done like I I have to be able to say at least 50% of this was me. Because if I don't they're gonna be able to tell they're gonna know they're gonna know that I just let they they're gonna know that it wasn't me. So I gotta do one more so go have another pointless conversation with the Moses it's fine.

SPEAKER_05 47:12

Like it was such a waste such a waste but you know what yes that one more came because Pharaoh was like look Pharaoh broke that mind control shit Pharaoh was like look bitch come in front of me again that's the last time I'm gonna see your motherfucking ass he got tired of Moses and God was like oh shit okay I can't play with him no more God was like okay I can't play with him no more Moses like Moses that that scared Moses ass all that bravado he withered down with Moses like yeah okay just as you say I'll never see you again that bitch was scared because God was like oh shit my toy broke his toy broke because Pharaoh was like okay enough of this goddamn shit Moses is Aaron coming from my face again right he was over it that's gonna be the last that's gonna let be the last thing you see you know God was like he was gonna harden his heart and Pharaoh was like harden my heart fuck this shit ending this that's why he just came out was like I'm over it this this back and forth game I've let you have control this long I'm I'm taking over I'm taking over and I'm done with it and at this point what does Pharaoh have to lose everybody's dead there's no more play life I don't even know how Pharaoh's alive like at this point bitch whatever you're gonna do just fucking do it because you already doing it you already been doing it come see me again it's gonna be last time you that's gonna be the last thing you see my face will be the last that's all Pharaoh had left most that's what he had left and he was like fucking I'm gonna play my card because why why keep why am I holding it back I've held it back for nine plagues and ain't shit changed.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Now fuck it.

SPEAKER_05 48:45

Yeah it's it's something something's about to happen guy was like okay now I gotta do something and we are going to talk about what this this last bullshit plan guy had to free his people. It's more suffering y'all already know but we're gonna uh talk about that in the next episode but right now Jada and I are trying to figure out what we can do with all the lights out I know what I do with all the lights out but I mean that was just growing an adult thing so you know what I wasn't even going there but okay I guess I'll just never mind. That's what I do with darkness. Fuck around can't move in the dark please I'm gonna listen I'm gonna use a dark darkness and throw some rocks at some people because they won't know it's me. I'm just gonna I'm gonna throw some rocks at some people and then I'm gonna go going by my bed like and when the light turns on I won't look as confused as everybody else like I don't I don't know you got hit by a rock oh it must have missed me.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

I be holding my own head talking about who hit me who hit me oh my goodness that's crazy. Anyway we will catch you in the next episode and if you have any questions please take it up with your guide not us.

SPEAKER_05 49:51

Peace love and life