Accountability: Your ADHD Brain's Productive Substitute for Discipline

Having ADHD doesn't mean you need more discipline; it means you need external motivation and structure. Accountability creates the urgency and external pressure that helps ADHD brains initiate and complete tasks.

• ADHD brains struggle with internal motivation and executive functions (planning, prioritizing, initiating tasks)
• Our dopamine system doesn't respond well to long-term or future rewards
• Accountability works because it creates external deadlines and commitments to others
• Find the right accountability partner who understands ADHD without judgment
• Be specific with your goals and timeframes when setting up accountability systems
• Schedule regular check-ins and celebrate all progress, no matter how small
• Body doubling (working alongside someone else) provides subtle external pressure that helps overcome task initiation paralysis
• Using accountability isn't a sign of weakness but a brilliant strategy for giving your brain the structure it needs

Try finding a partner this week, set a specific goal, and check in to report your progress. I know your time is valuable, so I hope you found something useful here and that you'll like, follow, subscribe and come back next Tuesday.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to ADHD and Accountability
• 1:03 How ADHD Brains Process Motivation
• 2:16 Creating Effective Accountability Systems
• 4:16 Body Doubling as Powerful Accountability
• 4:50 Simple Steps to Start Using Accountability
• 5:29 Episode Closing and Call to Action

Transcript

Alex Delmar: 0:00

I still have these tasks I don't want to do and they still really need to be done. If you have ADHD and you struggle to get something done, you've probably heard the dreaded phrase "you just need more discipline. But I know it's not about discipline. It's about external motivation and structure, and this is where accountability comes in. I have so much faith in this strategy to help me get over the hurdle I'm facing that I've started meeting with an accountability group. I'm Alex Delamar, a certified ADHD coach and person with ADHD. Welcome to Thoroughly ADHD, where I share what I've learned to help other people with ADHD enjoy better lives what I've learned to help other people with ADHD enjoy better lives. I've mentioned accountability in passing in a few videos how it's a powerful tool to help you get things done, exercise more, clean your house, etc. And it deserves a closer look.

Alex Delmar: 0:58

Why is accountability so effective for someone with ADHD? It all comes down to our brains. Our brains are wired differently, especially when it comes to the executive functions, that's the brain's management system. Things like planning, prioritizing and initiating tasks can be a real struggle For many of us with ADHD. Internal motivation that feeling that says" I should do this because it's good for me is a non-starter. Our dopamine system, which is linked to motivation and reward, doesn't always kick in for long-term or future rewards. Urgency helps the ADHD brain get going, but a task only feels urgent when there's a looming deadline or consequence.

Alex Delmar: 1:48

Accountability acts as an external deadline. When you tell someone else you're going to do something, it's no longer just a promise to yourself that you might forget or deprioritize or, in my case, actively avoid. It's a commitment to another person. This external pressure can activate that motivation system and get you moving.

Alex Delmar: 2:13

So how do you actually use accountability effectively? It's not just telling a friend I'm going to clean my room. It's setting up a system that works for your unique brain. First, find the right partner: a reliable, supportive person who understands ADHD. This could be a trusted friend, a family member, a coach or a virtual body double. The partner's role is not to nag you, or judge you, or let you off the hook, but to act as external structure and to encourage progress. In my case, my partner is the accountability group. We're all working on similar goals, which is helpful for exchanging ideas to stay on track, but is not necessary for the accountability aspect to work.

Alex Delmar: 3:04

Second, be specific and set clear expectations Instead of saying I'll work on my project this week, say I will spend 30 minutes on Tuesday and Thursday outlining the first chapter of my report. I will check in with you on Friday afternoon to confirm I did it. Specificity helps combat the overwhelm that often leads to inaction. Knowing you need to report your progress provides the sense of urgency.

Alex Delmar: 3:35

Third, use check-ins and celebrate progress. Schedule a quick five-minute call, a text message or a check-in at the end of the day. Remember, the ADHD brain likes immediate feedback. This isn't a performance review. It's a moment to report your progress, no matter how small. So don't fudge your results. Did you start the task, great? Did you work for just 10 minutes instead of 30? That's still progress. Celebrate the wins. This positive reinforcement helps retrain your brain to associate task completion with a sense of reward.

Alex Delmar: 4:16

Earlier I mentioned body doubling. It's a really powerful form of accountability where you work on your own tasks while another person works on theirs, either in the same room or on a video call. Someone else's presence is a game changer to overcome task initiation paralysis and it provides a subtle external pressure that helps you stay on task. By the way, this is why ADHD students should take their exams in the same room with other test takers.

Alex Delmar: 4:52

If you've been struggling to get things done, remember you're not lazy. You've just got to figure out what works to motivate you to start and complete tasks you to start and complete tasks. Having an accountability partner isn't a sign of weakness. It is a brilliant strategy for giving your brain the external structure and motivation it needs to thrive.

Alex Delmar: 5:15

Try it this week. Find a partner, set a specific goal and check in to report your progress. You might be surprised by just how much you can achieve when you leverage the power of accountability. I'm Alex Delamar and this has been Thoroughly ADHD. I know your time is valuable, so I hope you found something useful here and that you'll like follow, subscribe and come back next Tuesday. Thanks for listening.