Rewards That Actually Work For ADHD

We explore how practical, personal rewards make hard starts easier and sustain focus for an ADHD brain. We share simple ways to tune your space, pick better tools, and design rewards that stand out from defaults.

• defining rewards as anything that reduces discomfort or increase enjoyment
• shaping environment for easier starts and longer focus
• selecting tools that add function and a touch of fun
• using tokens as visible proof of progress
• avoiding default behaviors as “rewards”
• gifting future you
• pairing rewards with sleep, movement, nutrition, and mindfulness

Transcript

Why Rewards Matter For ADHD

Alex Delmar 0:00

I mention the use of rewards often, but I'm learning that quite a lot of us reward ourselves infrequently at best. Maybe we forget about it or don't know how to make them work for us, or we think that's just for kids, or we have so much to do that we feel guilty about taking even five minutes to do something we consider fun, which is totally counterproductive to having the reward in the first place. The ADHD brain's interest-based operating system makes rewards an essential aspect of the management of ADHD symptoms. So I've been investigating how we might overcome obstacles like these and integrate rewards into our lives on a frequent, regular basis in order to help us begin unpleasant tasks, reinforce desired behaviors, maintain or replenish our energy, and persevere to reach goals of any magnitude. I'm Alex Delmar, a certified ADHD coach and person with ADHD. Welcome to Thorly ADHD, where I share what I've learned to help other people with ADHD enjoy better lives. First, let's define rewards as anything that reduces our discomfort or increases our enjoyment, and that we can implement at any time we are engaging in the desired action or when it's completed. Rewards work best when they are chosen by the individual, are commensurate with the accomplishment, and ideally involve something different from the stuff you do, regardless of whether or not you reached your target. For instance, token reward systems work well for some people because it's a visible sign of completing the action and making progress toward a larger goal. And for most of us, there's no reward in making check marks on a chart for no reason. On the other hand, watching TV or Doom scrolling isn't an effective reward for me because those are my default behaviors when I want to wind down or I'm too tired to do anything else. Rewards can start before you even begin undesirable tasks. Consider how you might make the environment as pleasant as possible. In my house, the thermostat is set to barely comfortable, except in my home office, where the temperature hovers around my favorite 70 degrees, so just walking into that room to work is a reward. Then I have my super comfy seating options, fun pens, inspiring photos, and music. This combination of both immersive and slow drip, physical and emotional rewards, helps me start work and stick with it. Another aspect that can be incentivized is the gear required to do the task. You can make the tools entertaining, so doing the action itself is rewarding. If you don't like brushing your teeth, try a fun character toothbrush and toothpaste in a variety of flavors you like. Just having the right tools for the job instead of using an adequate substitute is also rewarding, especially for unpleasant tasks you have to do regularly. I always procrastinated washing the dishes until my dear friend brought me a gift from London, a dish scrubber shaped like a Windsor Castle guard with a sponge in place of the big black hat. I smiled every time I picked it up. I could easily wash stuff like my water bottle without hurting my hand, and I was able to complete the whole task faster. So for me, the right tool for the job, plus whimsy, equals washing the dishes every night. I learned that brings the reward of waking up to having all the things I need for breakfast already clean. Now, every evening, I remind myself of the gift that I can give future me, and that reward usually motivates me to finish the chore. If you have trouble allowing yourself rewards and you aren't yet convinced of how important they are, a way to bridge that gap might be to combine your rewards with one or more of the cornerstones of ADHD symptom management, which you have to engage in any way to benefit your brain. I'll give you some examples of how to do that, how to choose rewards that work for you, and how you might scale rewards in relationship to your accomplishments in the next segment. So I hope you'll come back next week for more thoroughly ADHD. Thank you for your time.