50. Four sentences that keep you stuck on social media

Social media is a mess and a miracle—surveillance capitalism, addictive design, billionaire overlords… and also, real friendships, clients, teachers, and opportunities we wouldn’t have had otherwise.

In this episode, Simone names the complexity and gets practical: if you’ve chosen to use these platforms for your work, these four sneaky sentences might be quietly keeping you stuck, small, and invisible.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• The real ethical and political problems with social media (and why Simone still uses it anyway)
• Why saying “I don’t know how to do that” keeps you in permanent beginner limbo
• How “I hate that” often hides simple discomfort and unfamiliarity—not deep values
• The trap of “that’s just not for me” and how aesthetic snobbery can block your growth
• Why “I don’t see the point” is usually code for “I’m scared to try and fail in public”
• How to experiment with new skills on social without betraying your values or burning out

Simone invites you to hold the full moral complexity of these platforms and still let yourself learn, experiment, and be seen—without letting old stories decide what’s possible for your work.

If you’re someone who has chosen to be on social media, but you feel stuck every time you go to post… this one is for you.

Resources & next steps

• Reflect: Which of the four sentences do you say to yourself most often?
• Journal on: “What if I’m wrong about that?” each time it comes up this week.
• Share this episode with a friend who’s creatively blocked by social media but doesn’t actually want to quit it.

Transcript

Welcome to another episode of Liberatory Business. I'm your host, Simone Seol. Thank you so much for listening. 

Today I wanna talk about four things that keep people stuck on social media. But before I get into that, I need to acknowledge something. The social media landscape today is complicated and fraught in ways that it wasn't as much when I first started talking about this years ago. And I think we need to name what we're actually dealing with here.

There are legitimate concerns that we need to be mindful of. These social media companies are tracking everything we do. There's the reality of data privacy, surveillance capitalism. And the politics and ethics of the people who own the platforms that we use the most also matter. Like Zuckerberg, Musk, Bezos — they've all cozied up to Trump, making giant donations, bending their platforms to accommodate power. We're watching in real time how these billionaires are shaping what we see, what gets amplified, what gets suppressed. We're seeing how lies have the potential to spread so much faster than the truth. And many times we can't even tell what's true and what's not true. 

Mental health impacts are real. The anxiety, the doom scrolling, the way these platforms are literally designed to be addictive. The labor exploitation happening behind the scenes with content moderators. The environmental cost of running massive server farms. The way algorithms can radicalize people and erode our attention spans. All of this is real, and I think it matters that we acknowledge them.

And yet I use social media. I'm not here to tell you that social media is all good, or that you have to be on it — 'cause you certainly don't. Plenty of people are running thriving businesses without social media whatsoever. And I'm not here to tell you that using these platforms is a morally neutral choice, either, 'cause it's not. There's no perfect way to participate in capitalism and there's no perfect way to build a business under these conditions. And we're all making compromises. We're all navigating different trade-offs.

And I think we have to be able to hold complexity, because social media still offers real benefits that matter, especially if you're building a business without a huge budget, without an existing platform that comes from, you know, I don't know, being famous or something. You can reach people directly without gatekeepers. You can build genuine relationships and community with people all over the world who share your values and interests. All of these are still true. You can test your ideas in real time and get immediate feedback. You can find collaborators, clients, friends, teachers. You can learn from people you would've never had access to otherwise. And I know that I certainly have — I have had my life changed for the better in so many ways through the people that I connected with, the people that I learned from on social media. 

And so for many of us, especially those of us who are marginalized or live in places where it's not so easy to find our people locally, social media has created connections and opportunities that genuinely wouldn't and couldn't exist otherwise. 

So if you've decided — with full awareness of what you're participating in, with your eyes open about the problems, because once again, I think that matters — that social media is a tool that you want to use for your business, however imperfectly, even with the reservations, with holding the moral complexity, let's talk about what actually keeps you stuck versus what moves you forward. Because I think there's a real difference between the real systemic problems with these platforms and the stories we tell ourselves that just make it harder to do what we've chosen to do, what will benefit us and our communities to do.

So this episode is for you if you've decided, "yes, I'm gonna use this tool with all its problems," and you wanna use it more effectively with less internal friction. 'Cause I see a lot of internal friction out there. 

So I wanna share with you four things that I see in my community — members, friends, colleagues, clients — that they tell themselves all the time about social media marketing that keeps them stuck, and it's taking away from their ability to grow, have the impact they wanna have, and make money and even have fun. So I'm gonna tell you what these four things are and see if any of these apply to you. And I know that they still apply to me sometimes, and I have to be aware. So you best be aware too.

## 1. "I don't know how to do that"

So the first thing is when you tell yourself, "I don't know how to do that," right? When it comes to social media. Other ways of saying this: "Oh, I can't do that," or "there is no way I can do that. I can't figure out how to do that." 

Listen, the reason that you don't know how to do something is because you haven't done it yet. Nobody's born knowing how to do everything, right? You figure it out because you decide that you wanna try it. 

I remember this was many years ago, it's a very distinct memory that I still have, where I learned how to use Instagram stories, right? Because it was like, I remember this because it was such a big block in my mind and it was years and years after everyone else was already using Instagram stories. And I just like, I remember asking a friend of mine point blank, "What is the deal with the story thing? I don't get it. Like, why? I don't — why do people use it? How do you make it? What's the point? What do you do? I have no idea." 

And she patiently explained it to me from the beginning to the end — how to create a story, how to see other people's stories. And I, guys, none of this was obvious to me. Every part of it that she explained, I was like, "What? Huh? What? Okay, that's weird. Oh, so I can put a sticker on it like that. Oh look, it's moving," right? 

So that's how I figured out how to make an Instagram story. And again, this was well after it was already super popular. And so before that, the entire time, you know what I was telling myself? I was telling myself, "I can't do that. I don't even know how. I don't know what that is. What is that? I can't," right? And I just had to decide to figure it out one day. So I asked my friend. 

And for you, all it might take is asking a friend, Googling instructions. It might take a few steps if you don't get the answer right away. But the thing is, I promise you, nothing about this, even if it's foreign, is rocket science. It's not heart surgery. It's figurable out. You can figure it out, I promise you. 

Okay, so that's the first thing — just getting over the hump of "oh, I don't know," right? "I can't do it." Feels real, but it's sabotaging us.

## 2. "I hate that"

Okay, and the second thing that people tell themselves, second sentence that keeps people stuck on social media is, "Oh, I hate that," right? And I'm raising my hand as someone who has been often guilty of this too. But I hear people saying this about, you know, posting often on social media in order to promote their businesses. And they tell me, "You know, I see people posting a lot and I just hate that. I don't wanna do that. I would hate to do that." Or they might think about going live, you know, on a platform, showing their faces, and they think to themselves, "Oh, I hate that. I would hate to do that. There's no way I could do that," right? 

And I wanna acknowledge some of your "I hate that" might be genuine discomfort, including genuine ethical discomfort. And that's real. That's worth honoring and listening to. If something feels extractive or manipulative or like it's asking you to participate in harm, or just like following trends just for the sake of it, pay attention to that. 

But a lot of the time, if we're honest with ourselves, the whole like "oh, I don't like that, I hate that," it's just a discomfort around unfamiliarity dressed up as some kind of personal value or principle. It's a reflexive reaction based on everything we've been thinking so far about what we're capable of doing and what we're capable of enjoying.

And this is one of the things that I'm always thinking about: if you keep making decisions on the basis of what you have already known and experienced in the past, all you're gonna create is more of the same in the future. So unless you wanna keep creating a future that looks exactly like your past, every time you reflexively say, "Oh, I hate that. I would hate to do that. I don't wanna do that," maybe leave a tiny window of possibility open for "Hmm, maybe I could be wrong about that," right? 

What we like, what we don't like could change and do change all the time based on what we are exposed to, what we know how to do, whether or not we see the merit of something. And you know how with some skills, the better you get at it, the more fun it becomes? So you might really enjoy doing something that you thought you hated. The least you can do is give it a chance. 

So unless you've given it a fair shot — and by a fair shot, I don't mean just once or twice, you know — you decide, if you decide there's good reason for you to try something, then you owe it to yourself to give it enough time to sort of get over the learning curve. If you still decide it's not for you, then you can totally quit. But don't just conclude, "Oh, I just hate that" before you even give yourself a chance to learn what the heck it is. And I promise you, you can.

## 3. "That's just not for me"

Now, here's the third sentence that keeps people stuck on social media, which is kind of similar, but kind of different, which is "That's just not for me." And this is a sneaky one because people are really attached to their own ideas about who they are, what kind of people they are, what they like and what they don't like, what values they hold, what they stand against, right? 

And don't get me wrong, your values matter. Your sense of what aligns with who you are matters. But here's the thing: sometimes the whole "that's just not for me, I don't do stuff like that" — sometimes that is genuine discernment, and other times it's just using your supposed values as a shield against trying something new or uncomfortable. And it can be kind of hard to tell the difference.

Just because you reflexively think, "Ah, that's not for me," doesn't mean you're necessarily right. Maybe how you judge whether something is for you or not is based on what you have already known and experienced in the past. Again. And you can expand your range of what you know and have experienced by trying new things.

For example, something that I thought was just not for me was Instagram hashtags. And it's so funny, I think, how we cut ourselves off from trying things just because we think, "Oh, not for me." So a long time ago when I would see people with rows and rows of Instagram hashtags, because I didn't really understand how they worked — I mean, I did understand how they worked and that you're supposed to, like, I understood the basics, but I didn't really get why that was so important to do and whatever business purpose it serves. I felt like I don't need it. You know, I was doing fine without it. And so I just had this judgment like, "Oh, those hashtags look stupid. Like hashtag live your best life." You know, like it's just — hashtag, we can all admit that they look silly, right? They don't reflect how we talk. They look weird and silly, even if they're useful. 

And so for the longest time I had this sort of snobby aesthetic disdain for hashtags. Like, "Oh, that's not for me," I thought. Until one day I was, you know, having a different thought about, okay, so how do I find even more new people? How do I find new friends? How do I get some new eyes on my stuff? Because I feel like all my same friends are seeing all my stuff all the time. 

So then a friend of mine was like, "Why don't you start — why don't you think about putting some hashtags on your stuff?" And I was like, "Ah, crap. Maybe I gotta look into it." And so I got over myself. I got over thinking "that's not for me" and, you know, I got over my precious aesthetic sensibilities and I started paying more attention to them. And eventually I was using hashtags to look for products and services I was looking for. And I understood hashtags more. And the more I understood them, the more I started to be like, "Oh, okay, that makes sense for somebody like me to do." 

So that thought "this is not for me," like snobbiness, right? It prevented me from learning that lesson so much earlier. I could have gotten started on that way earlier, but I didn't because I just believed my own thought: "That's not for me." 

So every time I catch myself thinking, "Oh, that's not for me," I think to myself, "What if I'm wrong? What learning am I closing off for myself by being so sure in advance about what I like, what I don't, what's for me and what's not for me?"

## 4. "I don't see the point"

Now let's move on to the fourth sentence that keeps people stuck on social media, which is when they say, "I don't see the point," right? "I don't see the point of posting every day. I don't see the point of doing a free challenge. I don't see the point of taking selfies. I don't see the point of going live. I don't see the point of showing my face." 

"I don't see the point" is a thought that pretends to be very logical, like you're weighing all the pros and cons. You've done an analysis in your brain, and you have decided there is no point. But honestly, often "there is no point" is just cover for "I'm scared of taking a risk and I don't wanna do it wrong." 

And look, I get it. We're already navigating all these ethical concerns about being on these platforms. It makes sense that we wanna be extra careful, extra thoughtful, right, before we do something. But sometimes that caution keeps us from learning anything at all, from, you know, growing. 

So let me give you an example from my own journey. I didn't see the point of making offers on social media for my services every single day until I was challenged to do that by a mentor of mine. And initially I thought, "There's no point. That's stupid. Why would I make an offer every single day? People would be so sick of me. Everyone would hate me. I would feel so weird." 

And I started doing it anyways because I'm a good student. And I started figuring out different ways I could do it and feel really good and feel like I'm serving my people. And guess what? I got more business. Because when I made offers every day, people actually found out what the hell I was selling and were like, "Oh yeah, I do need help with that, actually. Thank you." 

So all the time that I thought it wasn't necessary, "there's no point to doing it every day," I was completely closing myself off from the learning that was to be had when I started, only because someone challenged me to.

## The takeaway

So here's a takeaway. I think a lot of decisions you make on social media, they need to be made by trial and error. Not every decision, I mean, obviously use your judgment. Like if someone asks you to send a nude picture, you do not have to make that decision by trial and error. Just don't do it. But you know what I mean? 

It's so much easier for our brains to err on the side of being conservative and not trying new things, not learning new things, not considering new possibilities. Our brains are always trying to convince us that things as they are, the status quo, is good enough, and change is dangerous. Growth is dangerous. Exposing ourselves to new skills, new experiences is dangerous. While at the same time we're sick of the stagnation that we experience when we're not intentionally, purposefully taking risks in ways that move us forward. 

So in summary, catch yourself when you say to yourself, reflexively, "I can't do that. I hate that. That's not me. I don't see the point." When you insert just a tiny bit of skepticism into those thoughts, you might be really surprised what you learn and how that moves you forward in creating the business that you've been dreaming of. 

We're already on these imperfect platforms, making imperfect choices. We might as well learn what we can while we're here. We might as well achieve our goals while we're here. We might as well connect to more people while we're here. 

I hope that was useful. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye.