I've Hit My Limit - I'm Done Over Giving

In this episode I talk about the uncomfortable reality of choosing yourself, the guilt that comes with breaking people pleasing cycles and the moment I realized I was giving more to others than I was myself. Healing isn't always pretty and sometimes it involves disappointing others. Not everyone will understand your healing and that's okay. 

If you've ever struggled with feeling responsible for everyone's emotions, this one is for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Hey hey! Welcome back to I Know a Girl, the cozy corner of the internet where we hype each other up, get a little raw and real, and remember, healing is hot. I'm your host, Morgan, and I almost didn't record this episode. Why? Because I overthought the whole fucking thing. Over and over and over again. But when I came to the end of my overthinking train, I decided I know quite a few people that actually need to hear this. So let's get into it. Recently, I reconnected with someone from my past and we really hit it off like old times again. I mean, it has been like the last 20 years never even happened. I literally feel like I'm small little Morgan all over again, right? However, just a few weeks ago, some shit went down. I've been going through a tough time mentally, probably emotionally as well. Well, most definitely emotionally as well. And typically I kind of get a little mute. I mean, I'm not, I'm not ghosting people and never talking to them ever again. I want to put that out there. But I kind of get a little quiet. I kind of go into like hibernation mode. I kind of go in hibernate. Why can I not say that? I kind of go in hibernation mode. So whatever you want to call it, in order to get through, I really gotta like hunker down. I'm skimming through the motions, keeping my head just above water, okay? So anything outside my four walls of the house and work and like a handful of people that like literally understand me to my core, everything else kind of like gets sat on the shelf for a minute, okay? And I don't mean it to be personal at all, okay? Just sometimes I gotta like I gotta crawl back, I gotta, you know, pull back my energy and kind of just put it into myself. I gotta love myself a little bit more. I gotta keep telling myself, like, hey, bitch, yeah, this fucking sucks, but we're fucking going through it. We're getting it done. So just, you know, I don't I don't mean it to be in a negative way, but I most definitely have to get into that like tunnel vision mode. Because if I don't, I will dwell on the whole situation and spiral downwards. So this person in particular sent me a message, this big, long, huge message, pretty much saying how disheartening it is to see where I stand with them. And I was so confused. I so confused, so taken back. But, you know, true me, I immediately start apologizing. Like I didn't mean to make you feel some type of way. I'm so sorry. You know, my brain goes into autopilot mode. Sometimes social conversations end up extremely hard because, you know, I need to pour into myself, I need to love myself when I'm going through a hard time. Please, please, please don't take it personal. I didn't mean to hurt you. And you would think, or what I expected, which shame on me for expecting this, I guess. A little bit of kindness and empathy in return. Like, oh shit, like she really didn't mean that in any negative way. She obviously still loves me. She's just, you know, gotta love herself for a little bit. No, instead of, you know, meeting me with the same intentions, they instead doubled down and threw it back in my face and said, What I'm going through isn't as tough as I think it is. And I was like, Woo, red flag. And little me would have probably used that as a way of continuing to pour into myself or continuing to pour myself into that person and try to get them back and like, you know, fix the relationship. But like I said, I wasn't, I wasn't going quiet with bad intentions. I literally noticed that like my headset wasn't in the right, wasn't in the right like brain wave, and I needed to take a moment. I'm sorry that moment was longer than they obviously expected or anticipated, but that's just how it is. And so then in true Morgan fashion of overthinking the whole situation, I was like, am I really the problem? So I read through all our text messages. All our text messages. I went through all our chats on Snapchat, and I literally responded back to them every single time they reached out to me. There were a few times that they sent me like a Snapchat, and I don't even remember what it was. I think it was just random objects like in their office or in their vehicle, or there wasn't even like selfies or anything like that that I didn't respond to. And so, like, maybe that's what they were expecting was for me to answer every single little thing. But like, it had me thinking if you expect me to constantly pour into your cup, constantly be this bubbly, happy, go lucky person, then clearly you're not loving yourself to see that like people go through shit and they need to love themselves in order to fill other people's cups. So if I'm not able to fill up your cup as much as you expect, it's obviously because I need to fill up my own cup first. And the fact that they met me with such disrespect after I showed them, like, yo, I didn't mean that in any negative way, like that just really goes to show that their true intentions were not good from the get-go. And, you know, if they were maybe in the future we could fix this and they'll see things from my side. But I firmly stand on the fact that like I didn't mean to hurt their feelings. Like, I wasn't doing anything negative. I was literally just barely keeping my head above water, you know. I was still responding back to them, sometimes, you know, with big long messages, sometimes with just short messages, but like I was still putting forth the effort. And it's really sad to see that even if like the effort was not as large as in the past when I've put my all into them, they should just be grateful for the fact that they were getting any of my time to begin with. I think nowadays technology and social media kind of give people this audacity that they're owed a response or somebody else's time, like on a drop of a dime. And a lot of people don't realize that like we all live our own lives. And sure, yeah, we want to keep relationships healthy and we must communicate and treat others how we want to be treated. But in this scenario, like there was there was no lack on my end, and there was no negativity on my end. It was all love and light. And the fact that she gave me disrespect in return when I was saying, like, whoa, I'm so sorry, please don't take it personal, you know, says a lot about them. So if anybody's ever been going through something similar to this, just know that if you really don't mean it in bad intentions, don't get it, don't get it twisted, don't get it, and don't let it get you down. If somebody's expecting way more out of you than what you're giving them, that's a them problem. And I mean that in such a kind-heartedly way. I don't mean it as a dig, but like just be grateful for the energy that people are giving you. Not everything is with negative intent or ill will or whatever you want to call it, you know? We're all just fighting our own battles. And don't get me wrong, there's been many times that like I've reached out to friends and they have ghosted me, never gave me an answer back. But I'm not taking that personally either because, like I said, for all I know, they're fucking going through it right now, and just seeing my message is giving them even more anxiety. So, like, if you're going through it and somebody's expecting you to continue to pour into them, fuck off. I'm just kidding. Don't tell them to fuck off. But like, tell them to don't take it so personally. And don't, don't, I don't want you to take it personally either. Like, if you're keeping your head just above water and you're skating through, I love you, girl, you got this, you are a badass bitch, and this storm isn't gonna last forever. Definitely remember that the way that people treat you is a direct reflection of how they treat themselves. So if you're sitting around expecting an answer from me, you're most definitely neglecting giving yourself something. Because I'm over here silently struggling, not trying to let my demons affect anybody else, and yet you're still stewing over me not giving you enough attention. All right, let's get into our little joy of the week. For one, the weather has been so nice lately. Not only am I thriving, but my freaking kids are too. They are constantly asking me if they could go outside, and I am loving telling them yes. Because one, there's less mess in the house for me to have to clean up or delegate to them to or constantly remind them to pick up after themselves. And two, there's nothing like good, fresh, clean air and being connected to nature. They're playing basketball, they're jumping on the trampoline, they're riding their bikes, and the best part is they're not fighting with each other. Jade's actually taking a like to playing basketball with her brother, which for those of you that know, sometimes my kids fight like cats and dogs. They're don't get me wrong, they are some well-behaved children, but like siblings, they do fight like cats and dogs sometimes. Um, what else? Oh, when you hear this episode, it will be four days until my regulate to reset event with my sister-in-law, Dr. Lex. So I'm very excited about that. Oh, I had the bright idea to take Jade's old tablet and mount it underneath the cabin the cabinets in the kitchen, and it it's giving 90s mini TV in the kitchen. Like, I don't know if anybody remembers the little white TVs that used to be mounted underneath the cabinets in your kitchen, and you could like watch cooking shows or watch literally whatever you wanted while you're cooking. Yep, I now have that in the kitchen because I I took Jade's old tablet and I mounted it underneath the spice cabinet in my kitchen, and I got a little caught up on Summer House. And if you haven't watched that show, please go do. So then I have somebody else to talk to because right now I only have one friend that I talked to about it, and I kind of feel like I'm annoying her because I just keep spamming her with messages about that. But um, yes, and so another thing that I'm so excited to share is my seeds that I started a couple of weeks ago are literally thriving. I thought I fucked them up because I put them in my indoor greenhouse that has lights, like row lights, and I stupidly forgot to shut the lights off, and so they were on for like a good 15 hours, and I was like, I thought I fried them. But two days later, I I didn't so the very next day after I found that the lights were on for 15 days, I just you know didn't put the lights on at all because I was like, hmm. And the second day I went to check on them, and they were like way more green than I have ever seen little tiny baby plants. So I'm starting to think maybe I know what I'm doing, and the 13, 14-hour grow light lamp time was actually what they needed. I don't know. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say that I'm like a farmer or anything yet, but I somehow did not mess that up. So craps to me. But yeah, I think they're I'm I'm starting to like, you know, get back into that love and light frequency again. I'm loving loving myself and I'm loving life, except for the situation that I was just talking about a couple of minutes prior, which is very disheartening. Very disheartening, because it's like I was really looking forward to that friendship blooming, but right now it's it's very much taking a backseat ride because I don't want to cut them off completely, but at the same time, like that was a low blow that I don't know how I'm gonna be able to come back from. Because I don't, it's not necessarily that I need somebody to always understand where I'm coming from, but like I also need you to understand that like I don't know, if somebody's like constantly seeing me in just a negative light and they're not seeing me from where I'm coming from, like I guess you gotta get to step in. I I don't need that negativity around. I need somebody to understand that like I can't always be giving myself out to other people without giving to myself first. So there's that. Alright, let's get into our horoscope hype for this episode. Aries, things felt slow, locked, or just not clicking the way that you wanted, and that messes with your fire. This month you are gonna start moving again with clarity, confidence, and way less second guessing. You're not forcing anything. It's about momentum finally meeting your effort. You're stepping into a version of yourself that knows what they want and isn't afraid to go after it. Think less chaos, more alignment, and honestly, you deserve it. Taurus. Things felt slow, uncertain, or just not as stable as you needed them to be. But guess what? You held it together even when your sense of security felt shaky. And that wasn't easy. This month, we're bringing a grounded energy back into your life. You start rebuilding on stronger foundations, choosing peace over pressure, and consistency over chaos. This month is about feeling safe in your choices again, emotionally, financially, and mentally. You're not stuck anymore. You're settling into something that actually supports you. Gemini, too much going on at once, too many directions pulling your attention. You might feel like you were constantly adjusting, reacting, or trying to keep up. But this month, things finally start to feel clearer. You're more focused, more intentional, and way more confident in your choices. This is the month you move with purpose instead of pressure. Say what you actually mean and go after what genuinely excites you. I'm talking more ca less chaos, more control, and it suits you. Answer. You gave a lot, you held space for others, and maybe even carried things you probably shouldn't have had to. There were moments where you felt unappreciated or unsure if your effort even mattered. But this month brings a shift toward emotional safety and balance. You're gonna start choosing yourself without guilt, setting clearer and setting clearer boundaries and letting your softness exist without being taken advantage of. This year is about feeling secure again, not only in your relationships, in your space, but in yourself. Leo's. You may have felt a little uncertain, especially around direction, purpose, or where your energy was actually going. But this month, there are gonna be moments where you question you question your worth and what's not giving back anymore. So this clarity is about to arrive. You're gonna start being more intentional with where you invest your energy, your time, and especially your loyalty. This month is about choosing what truly nourishes you and letting go what drains you. Not out of ego, but out of self-respect for yourself. Virgo's, this last month might have been mentally heavy. Always thinking ahead, fixing things, carrying responsibility that wasn't fully yours. You tried to keep everything running smoothly, even when you were running low yourself. But this month the pressure eases. You start trusting that not everything needs to be perfect to work out. This year is about releasing control, creating healthier routines, and letting life meet you halfway instead of managing everything alone. Libras, last month tested your relationships. Moments of tension, miscommunication, or maybe unclear boundaries left you feeling off. It wasn't always obvious what to hold on to and what to let go. This month, things start flowing smoother. You're gonna gain clarity on who and what truly supports you, and the connections begin to feel lighter, more natural, very rewarding. This month is about harmony that actually works for you, not just in theory. Scorpio. You probably feel like a lot was stirred up beneath the service, like secrets, intensity, maybe situations you that you had to confront with some uncomfortable truths. You may have felt like you were carrying more than your fair share or facing challenges that tested your resilience. But this month, that intensity starts transforming into power. You're gonna gain insight, you're gonna release what no longer serves you, and you're gonna step into situations with a sharper sense of purpose. This month is about using your depth as strength, not weight. Sagittarius. Last month probably felt like you were hitting walls. Your plans got delayed, adventures paused, your freedom was probably feeling a little out of reach. You may have gotten restless, frustrated, or unsure of where to head next. But this month things start opening up again. Opportunities to explore, grow, and expand are gonna show up. And you're gonna move with more clarity and excitement. This month is about chasing what lake you up, but with a little bit more focus. So the journey actually takes you somewhere meaningful. Capricorn. Last month probably felt like a grind. I mean, it always does for you guys. Responsibilities, expectations, long-term goals weighing heavier than usual. You may have pushed yourself hard, sometimes forgetting to pause or check in with what actually matters to you. But this month, things start balancing out. Your effort is gonna begin to pay off, and you're gonna get clearer on what's worth investing in. This month is about building smart, steady progress while remembering you don't have to carry everything alone. Success can feel lighter when it's shared. Aquarius. Last month probably felt chaotic. Ideas, people, and expectations pulling you in many directions. You may have felt like nothing was sticking or that your energy was so scattered. This month things are gonna start to align. Your creativity is gonna flow clearer, your connections feel more authentic, and you get to focus on projects and people that actually matter. This year is about turning vision into action without burning yourself out. Progress that actually feels exciting instead of exhausting. Pisces. Last month was emotionally intense. Your dreams, feelings, and responsibilities probably collided in ways that left you feel drained or maybe even uncertain. You may have felt pulled in too many directions or like your effort just wasn't seen. But this month, clarity and calm start to return. You get to focus on what truly nourishes your heart and your mind. Set gentle boundaries and let go of what doesn't serve your growth. This month is about feeling supported, centered, and more in tune with your own flow. Well, you know what that means. We're gonna get into our tarot card poll of the episode. And then we're gonna wrap it up. I hope to see a lot of you at our regulate to reset event this coming weekend. It's gonna be a lot of fun. And even if you don't feel like you really need to get back to your inner self or get back to your joy, just come have fun with us. Everybody needs to have a little bit of fun. All right. And the card that we got is the six of pentacles. And the six of pentacles in reverse points to issues around reciprocity and fairness. It suggests a need for self-care, amidst one-sided generosity, or the presence of strings attached to help offered warning against imbalances of power and control. Wow. Ironic, right? I would say what a coincidence, but you already know with what 40 episodes in that I don't believe in coincidences. So thank you, universe, for the validation that I quite clearly need to focus on my self-care and not continue to outpour into others. Yeah, well, isn't that crazy? God, I love it. Oh, another little joy of the week that I forgot to tell earlier is that I uh ordered myself some new tarot cards because unfortunately, back when I was learning how to do the bridge, I was a little rough on my cards, and poor girls got a couple little bent lines in them, and so now I feel like I had to get new ones because every single time I saw one of the cards with a bend in them, I was then forgetting to focus on the reading and not the card itself, and so it was really messing with my intuition. I was like constantly wondering, like, oh, I wonder if this is this card or that card. Because I'm not gonna lie, there's quite a few that have this little bend line in them. They've taken a beating, but in the positive mindset version, I should be thankful and happy that they've gotten as much um practice out of them as they have. Like they're a little beat up, but it was all for good reason. Look at me pouring into myself and the cup or in my cards, pouring into my own cup. So, yeah, for anybody that is going through it and just needs to kind of take a step back and not overpour their energy into other relationships before pouring into themselves. This is the validation that you need to hear. Do what's best for you. And if people have a problem with you loving yourself and not loving them first, well, clearly they don't love themselves enough. And I don't mean that in a negative way. Because shit, the old version of me very much used to get upset with people when they didn't just respond to me immediately. So love yourself. Be mindful that we all live lives, we all live different lives, and sometimes when people are going through it, they kind of just, you know, need a need a minute to focus back in and know that they are that bitch. And when I say you are that girl, I don't mean like you're better than everybody else, but like us as women are literally the center of our own universe. So like when I say I am that girl, it's because in my own little universe, you are the center of your own universe, but you are not better than someone else. No one can be better than you because you are you, and in order to be better than you, they'd have to go through all the shit that you have gone through. And guess what? Some people, if they went through the shit that you've gone through, wouldn't fucking make it out to tell what happens. So stand in your truth, stand in who you are. You are a bad fucking bitch. And those that see it, see it. And those that don't, don't. Alright. I love you. Have a great day, have a great week. I better see you at our event this weekend. And if I don't, I still love you. I still love you. Have a great, have a great day, have a great week. I'll see you next week. Love you guys. Bye.