Quit Avoiding the Jump

In this episode I talk about how every version of myself that I admired started by doing something I thought was scary, impossible and intimidating. I think doing hard things (healthy, intentional hard things) is one of the best ways to build confidence, trust in yourself and tons of growth. Come listen about why fear doesn't mean you need to stop and why confidence is built AFTER doing the scary thing. From sky diving to piercing my nipples to starting a job I had no prior experience in, I'm sharing moments that terrified me but made me feel like such a baddie afterwards.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Hey, hey! Welcome back to I Know a Girl, the cozy corner of the internet where we hype each other up, get a little raw and real, and remember, healing is hot. I'm your host, Morgan, and I've been thinking a lot about a few versions of myself that I really loved, and they were created after doing something that terrified me. And I don't mean like a reckless scary or like jeopardizing your life scary, but I mean the kind of scary where your stomach flips because you know you've stepped outside your comfort zone and you feel you're unsafe and not in a familiar space. So today we're going to talk about doing hard things. Because I think so many of us are waiting to like magically become confident before we take the leap. And really, confidence is built because we took the leap. I think most of us have been conditioned to believe that fear means that we have to stop. Like if something makes you nervous or uncomfortable or anxious, embarrassed even, we think we should stop. This is not safe. This is a warning sign. But sometimes it's evidence that you're standing on the edge of a new version of yourself or a transformation or a whole lot of fucking growth. And honestly, I noticed that some of the most defining moments in my life happened after I almost talked myself out of them. So here's a few examples. When this episode airs, it will be five years since I went skydiving. My sister, who I'm probably gonna have on the podcast someday, and you'll absolutely love her, one day sent me a message and said, You want to go skydiving? And without missing a beat, I literally jumped out of my seat and said yes. It was something I wanted to do for a very long time. I expressed this once to an ex when we were dating, and they pretty much told me like I was too much of a scaredy cat to ever do that. And I've talked to quite a few people that have done it, and they were like, it is amazing. It's so exhilarating, but when you finally put your feet back on the ground, like you feel like you are standing five feet taller than before you got on the plane. So leading up to it, yes, I was excited, like I just said, but leading up to it, like the closer the day came, I was like kind of getting like a fake confident, a fake confidence, you know, when you're talking a big game because it still doesn't feel real quite yet. So then the day comes, and uh we're on our way there, and I'm like freaking out internally because I didn't ride with my sister, so we couldn't like debrief kind of on the way there, right? I had a buddy drive me there because I was so nervous. I thought I was gonna either one wreck on the way there or chicken out or something, something bad was gonna happen before I actually did it, right? So I get there, we sign the paperwork, we go through the whole info videos, and then it comes time to meet our tandem jumpers, right? Because they don't just let you take a parachute and jump on your own. That's that's wild. So I meet the guy that I'm gonna be strapped to, right? And we suit up, we get all our safety gear on and what we're supposed to wear when we get ready to go in the plane, right? And he then straps the parachutes to the back of us and we walk over to the plane. My sister is doing all the same things that I'm saying that I'm doing too, because she's she decided that she was gonna jump with me, right? We start headed over to the plane, and I decided that I was gonna get in the plane first, right? Because they say who's who's ready to get in? And it was me that was like, I will, right? So we get in, right? We pile in, should I say, because it was a really small plane, rinky dinky. Like I'm pretty sure my husband said that when he saw the plane like on the ground, he was like, There's no fucking way that you got in that. So yeah, it was very, really tiny. There were no seats in it except for the captain that was, you know, the pilot. And uh, so I pile in this little tiny plane. I'm sitting on the floor, strapped to this guy that I have met for 30 seconds before we get on this plane. My sister's also strapped to a guy, and they're closest to the door. So away the we go up in the air, right? And we're up there for maybe like I don't know, it felt like 10 minutes. It probably was more than that. I don't know if it was even less than that, right? But the whole time that we're on our way up there, I'm dead silent. I'm like meditative state, right? I'm in my head, but like not in a bad way, like thinking that I was gonna die or anything. I just had this very cool calmness to me. Well, we get all the way up to the altitude that we're supposed to jump at, and they say to my sister, all right, you ready to jump? And I actually caught a picture. Well, I didn't catch the picture. My the guy that I was strapped to caught this on video because the whole situation was whole the whole scenario was recorded, right? He caught the look on my sister's face when they told her that she was gonna be the first to jump because she was closest to the door. Cause then that's when they told us the first one in the plane is the last one to jump. The look on my sister's face was like, oh shit, what the fuck? So the door flies open, they get right up on the edge, and whoop, away they go. They jumped out and they were gone. So then the guy taps me on the shoulder and he said, It's your turn, honey. So I take a big deep breath and I scooch my ass over the edge of the plane, and he says, On the count of three, we're gonna jump, all right? And so he goes, one, two, and before he could even say three, I kind of jumped. Just as he said three, I should say, and out of the plane we went, and we like literally were just hovering in air. It was it was like time paused because I could look around and see everything. I saw the lake, I saw all the farmlands surrounding the lake. You could you could see for miles, right? So then I do the thing that they tell you to do in the instruction videos where you have to like pretty much like you're gonna belly flop through the air. And we kind of free fall for I don't know how long because I was not timing it, I was just enjoying the views. But then he pulls the parachute, and I think that was the worst part was my because I was a lot heavier back in 2021. I had all my weight on those straps on my groin, and it hurt, okay. But as soon as we touched ground, I was asking for us to go do it again. I absolutely loved it. I was screaming the whole time because I just loved it. I had so much fun. I've never had like, and when I say it felt like time would just pause because I was able to just like sit there and take everything in for God, I don't even know how long it was. It was amazing. It was amazing, okay. I think that whole experience changed something in me because I realized fear and excitement can exist at the same time. You can be terrified, but still capable at the same time. Now, let me tell you another story, okay? For a long, long time, okay, I have always listened to like emo punk music, okay? It's probably my second favorite type of music ever, okay? I had a very heavy Avrolevine pink phase. And like when I say pink phase, I mean pink, her first CD, misunderstood, I think it was called. Don't quote me on that because it's been here since I've actually like listened to everything on that CD. But one thing that I've wanted since I was real little was to have my nipples pierced. And every guy that I've ever dated and I said something like that about has always like rolled their eyes at me, like, oh, you're not cool enough to do that. One ex specifically told me that I was not badass enough to do it. So come 2020, I'm living life for myself. Because it was COVID and the world was ending and we were all gonna die anyways, right? So, and I decide that I'm gonna go get my nipples pierced. So I tell my husband, and my husband's like, no way, you're gonna chicken out, right? Because this is something that you've been talking about for a while now, right? And he also like really didn't care for the idea either, because he was just like, he's not a big tattoo and piercings guy. So I set up the appointment, and all day I'm like, I'm looking at the clock, like I'm pouting down, like I'm about to go through the most painful experience of my entire life, right? And the only thing that I could ever say that I could that uh that was the most painful experience in my entire life was childbirth, and I did it twice, so it probably wasn't the most painful thing I've ever endured. Scratch that. I would have to say going through and passing a kidney stone ranks harder on the pain level than childbirth does, in my own opinion. Like I said, I'm watching the clock and I'm counting down to my appointment time. I drive all the way there, and the whole time that I'm on the way there, I had this very calm feeling. Like, I don't know why. I I was kind of freaking out, but then like as soon as I parked and I was there, the nervousness kind of just went away. And so I went in and I said, you know, I'm here for my appointment. And they're like, okay, sweet. They took me out back, take my shirt off, they mark me with markers, they get ready, sterilize everything, and they're like, All right, you ready? And sure enough, I got them pierced. I thought that it was gonna be the most excruciating pain that I've ever endured in my entire life, right? No, it wasn't. Stupid me, okay. It was it was like getting a shot in the arm, is how I can pretty much compare it to, okay. And then I was like staring at them the rest of the day. That's how much I was in love with them. But I was on top of the world after I got them pierced because I kept thinking, oh my god, I thought this was gonna be huge. I thought I was gonna be crying and mad at myself. Like, why would you ever do that? No, it was a quick pinch, and I got to run around pretty much topless at my house the rest of the day because I was afraid that if I wore a bra, it was going to make them hurt, and I didn't want to endure that. And I mean, the only time that I actually hurt after getting them pierced is when my ring got stuck on like just random stuff. Like one time I got it stuck on a laundry basket while I was carrying a laundry basket, didn't feel really great. Actually, it hurt more than when I got it pierced. And then there was a time that I was showering and my loofah got caught on the ring, and that hurt really bad, but it like getting them pierced was a breeze in the park, really. So, yes, this example is a little bit more wilder than the skydiving one, but here's another example, and then I'll shut up and we'll get into the rest of the segments that I do on our show. Okay. The third time that I was extremely scared and not confident in the slightest bit was when I took my job as operations coordinator for dialysis. I felt like I had no business working in that department at all. One, because I had a huge fear of blood for a very long time. It just freaked me out. Anytime that I thought of blood, I always thought of like death, right? Because like a copious amount of blood means pretty much death, right? Let alone I'm gonna be working in a department that they clean people's blood. So on top of that, the job position itself was a little bit more different than anything that I've ever done before. But the person that had the position before me was only able to train me for like two hours before she had to dip out for a family emergency. And that was her very last day. So when I started the position, I got like a little instruction manual on how to do it and pretty much had to figure it out on my own. I don't mean to like pat myself on the back, but I kicked ass at that position. Six months later, I ended up having like a performance review. My boss was writing nothing but great stuff in it. Then a year goes by, and I not only had excelled even more in my position, was helping others in the department, but I also landed being the chairperson of VRT, which is the values reinforcement team of the organization that I was working for. So I was very, very scared and hesitant to take the position. I only applied for it as a last resort to get out of the nursing home. And apparently later on, I ended up speaking with a woman that interviewed me, and she said the moment that she saw me, she saw this warmthness from me and knew that their department needed someone like me. She said that she didn't care how many times that she had to train me, that she would train me as long as she needed to to keep me as the position. I was extremely terrified to take the position, and it ended up being probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Because not only did I really excel in the position, but I met a lot of people that became more like family to me than they were co-workers. In fact, that family, that department, became so much as family that when my husband got into his motocross accident and ripped his hand off his arm and spent 30 days in Strong, they all piled together to not only help me with our finances, but they all donated their PTO so then I could stay at the hospital with my husband for the 30 days that he was in there and all the 13, 14 surgeries that he had to have on his arm. Sometimes doing hard things is what you gotta do to level up, to transform yourself into the next version. So if anybody is hearing this and no matter what the hard thing is that you're contemplating doing, just fucking do it. Because even if it's as little as just doing the dishes, like I'm betting it's you hardwiring your brain into a routine that's gonna help your higher self in the future. Sometimes you have to do hard things to prove to yourself that you could do something that you are scared of. And after you do the hard thing, I want you to tell yourself, yeah, I'm a fucking bad bitch. Because you deserve to hear that, and no one else is gonna fucking tell you except yourself. You're building trust within yourself that you can do hard things. And every time you do something uncomfortable, your brain starts to like believe you that you are a badass bitch, and then the more that your brain believes you that you're a badass bitch, the more you're gonna become a badass bitch. Hard things don't have to be like dramatic as jumping out of a plane, getting your nipples pierced, or starting a new job that you didn't think you were even capable of doing. Sometimes the hard thing is posting a video to your social media, starting a business. I could definitely tell you a lot about starting a business because I started one myself. I also ended one myself. Hard things could be wearing an outfit that you actually like, but you're afraid other people are gonna say something about it. A hard thing could be going to the gym alone or doing something by yourself. A hard thing could be saying no without having to explain yourself. Believe me, I have to do that a lot, and it still doesn't get easier every single time. Going to therapy can be a hard thing. I mean, leaving a shitty ass relationship is something hard. I've been there, done that. Even making new friends as an adult. A lot of my episodes, I'm talking about the stresses of keeping friends or letting go of people that aren't your people anymore. Even setting boundaries can level you up, alright? So start letting yourself be seen. Start speaking up in a room that you normally shrink in. Because I think a lot of us stay stuck because we're trying to avoid discomfort. But I hate to break it to you, discomfort is kind of the doorway to success. And I want to say this because it's very important. And I'm not saying it because you need to seek out dangerous situations to prove yourself. This isn't about trauma. This isn't about suffering. This is about intentionally challenging yourself in ways that expand. It's it's about loving yourself. So maybe your hard thing is traveling alone or ending the friendship that you've outgrown. But make sure you allow yourself to be more authentic instead of constantly trying to be digestible. I think every time that we avoid something purely because we're scared, we're actually reinforcing this belief that we can't do it. And guess what? You can. Every time you move through fear instead of around it, you're transforming into a new version of yourself. And honestly, I think some of the most beautiful, confident, magnetic people aren't fearless at all. I mean, one person that I could tell one person that comes to mind instantly is my husband. He is the most badass motherfucker I've ever met in my entire life, and he inspires me every day. The people who got scared did it anyways. So maybe this week you ask yourself, what have you been avoiding that might help you grow? Not because you need to become someone new or someone else, but because there's an even fuller version of you that's waiting on the other side of that fear. Think about if I didn't go get my nipples pierced. My 13-year-old self would still be regretting that I'm not that bad fucking bitch. And I'll admit to you right now, I don't have them pierced anymore because the last time that they got stuck in a loofah, I about literally died right there in the shower. No, I'm joking. It did hurt, but it got yanked on so much that I think it kind of ripped the piercing itself and it didn't heal, like it wouldn't heal properly, and I didn't want to take it out and only have one pierced. So I took them both out. They both did close up. I still have scars where they are, and I think I think this is weird that I'm actually saying it on the podcast. That means I'm gonna have to do it, but I think I'm gonna get them repierced. I know I took them out and I kind of grieved that whole like version of me, but the 13-year-old self inside me is like screaming, like, no, we really need these. Which you know, I might probably change my mind 500 more times. But yeah. Alright, so our horoscope hype. Our horoscope hype is gonna be our mantra for the week for each zodiac. So Aries mantra for this week is there is no wrong time for new beginnings. Taurus. Mantra for this week is to let things arrive. You have to let things go. Gemini's mantra for the week. Build community by being in community. Answers mantra for this week. Do it scared. You will find your way. Leo's mantra this week. Don't forget to imagine the best case scenario, too. Virgo's mantra for the week. My cup of tea, not yours. Libra's mantra this week. I will attract the right people by being myself. Scorpio's mantra this week. An inch of progress is better than a mile of intention. Sagittarius mantra for this week is how could I forget it's all for fun. Capricorn's mantra this week is if anyone is going to appear and magically make your life better, just know that person is always going to be you. Pisces mantra this week, my success is inevitable because I keep showing up. Alright, so let's get into our little joys of the week. My little joy of the week is that I got to play Fortnite with my three besties. We were kicking ass this past weekend, and uh I actually got to have a little play date with my one bestie, Renee. She came over to have my husband look at her car, and surprise, it wasn't gonna make it all the way back home. So she had to stay a little bit longer than anticipated for him to fix her car because otherwise she most definitely would have been calling us with not good news. So yeah, uh, we had Jade's chorus concert this week, and after the concert, she decided that she wants to do chorus next year, so I'm really pumped about that. I love that her passion for singing is still there and that getting up early on Thursday mornings isn't keeping her from wanting to keep doing it. Oh, I put my plants in the garden. Like I put my plants that were in my greenhouse in the ground. So yeah, I'm very excited about that. I can't wait to see them flourish and and grow, and so I could be out there every day picking out veggies and telling everybody that lives local to come get some extra fruits and veggies. Well, not fruits, but extra veggies that I made out of my garden. The women's business expo that I will be at will be just I think it's what five days from when this will air. So definitely come check me out. Super excited. I'll have my tarot cards with me and a couple other things for you guys to check out, or maybe even take home if you like them. And then um, I think I spoke about it in the last episode, last week's episode, but our next reset to reconnect with joy workshop with my sister-in-law, Dr. Lexi, is coming up in three weeks. So definitely get your tickets. The prices will go up, I believe, the week of the event. So if you're excited and want to come, make sure you get your ticket now, or otherwise you're gonna have to pay a little bit more if you get them at last minute. So, yes. And I got the last little bit of my giveaway all together. I'm just waiting for the couple things that I ordered online for it to ship, and then I'm gonna get it all put together, and I'll announce it either next week or the week after. Everything's going really great, everything's coming together. I'm having a great time, and I feel like the month of May is, you know, amazing. It's going so great, and the rest of the year is just about to fall into place the same way. Cause, like I said, the week of well, the day after I have the workshop with Dr. Lexi is my birthday, and the week after that is my daughter's birthday, and by then, like, we're halfway through the year. So, yeah, before you know it, we'll be celebrating our one year for the podcast, which is actually we'll be here without in like a split second. If you really think about it, how fast the year has been going by so far. Our one year will be here without without us even really noticing. So, yeah, I'm so excited. I hope you guys are having a great year so far. I hope you're loving the podcast still. Um I haven't said this in a long time, but yeah, definitely leave me your review anywhere that you listen to this podcast. Go follow me on Instagram at inowagirl.pod or tick tock at i.no.a.girl.pod. I'm so sorry that that's long and annoying. I wish I could change it, but unfortunately, TikTok says that somebody else already has the handle of I know a girl pod. So even though I looked it up and I can't find anybody. Huh. But yeah, so I guess we should get into our tarot card poll for the episode, and then I'll get out of your hair and let you get on with your lives. I know you're not gonna get on with your lives because you guys love me so much. You love coming back and hearing my cute little voice. So what's the universe gotta tell us today? And the card that we hold is the sun. And the sun radiates positivity and joy, symbolizing happiness, vitality, and success. It represents warmth, fun, and celebration, suggesting a time of pleasure and rebirth. This card embodies the essence of all is well, signifying joyous achievements. So, yeah, it's pretty much saying exactly what I've been saying this entire episode that you must go after the things that scare you, but are also going to make you happy because you are going to reach a whole new version of yourself. You are going to become the sun where you're nothing but, you know, positive and happy and fun and joyous and warmth and successful. So, yeah. All right, well, I just told you where to find me. I just told you to go give me a review if you love this podcast and you love me. So, yeah, I will see you next week. I love you guys. Bye.