Island Strong: A Military Spouse’s Journey

Orders said “Guam,” and Ashley’s world changed overnight. What followed was a whirlwind of a temporary hotel room, a toddler, a pregnancy, and a husband who left again within a week for a year-and-a-half stretch tied to submarine maintenance in San Diego. Instead of folding, she found a way forward—thanks to an ombudsman with a welcome bag, a community that shows up at the airport, and a choice to step into leadership when it mattered most.

We trace Ashley’s path from Michigan to Groton and Washington, then across the ocean to Guam, where the contrast with stateside life is unmistakable. She explains how ombudsman training connected her HR background with the realities of deployment support, and how COVID stress-tested everything: supply runs for crews at sea, constantly shifting rules, commissary lines that wound like a maze, and families who needed battle buddies as much as they needed groceries. The lessons are clear—communication beats assumptions, community beats isolation, and resourcefulness beats uncertainty.

Ashley also opens up about transforming volunteer service into a professional role at Fleet and Family Support—first on island coordinating ombudsmen, deployment briefs, FRG support, and TAP, then on a remote team delivering virtual workshops and one-on-one consultations across time zones. We talk candidly about parenting far from home, a spouse stepping into the COB pipeline, and a looming homeport change that will ripple through every family on board. Her advice for new overseas spouses is practical and direct: get out of the house, meet your neighbors, and build roots where your feet are. Whether you’re eyeing overseas orders, navigating a tough deployment, or considering a career pivot that aligns with service, you’ll walk away with strategies you can use today.

If this conversation helps you or someone you love, follow the show, share it with a military family, and leave a review so more listeners can find these stories. What’s your best tip for thriving far from home?

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Transcript

Welcome & Why Spouses Matter Overseas

Gary Wise 0:28

All right, everybody, how are you doing? Half a day, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, Ohio, whatever works for you, wherever you're at, whatever time of the day it is. Are you listening to the sound of my voice or the lack thereof? It's been a good couple of weeks back to school, getting the kids out there, motivating them for PT today. And so, you know, I can you can hear it in my voice. Today, ladies and gentlemen, we have another word from the wise behind the anchor. And we've got a very special guest today. As I've been looking to people that I want to host onto the show, and as I've been connecting with people, one of the groups that I really wanted to give some light to was the spouses, and particularly the spouses for the forward-deployed sailors, the ones that live overseas, because I will tell you, I did, I believe it was about 12 of my total 25 years overseas. And there is something really special about being a military spouse that lives abroad. And the person I got today for a guest, not only is she a phenomenal military spouse, but she's also a person who stepped up and is led, is leading in the community and is working with helping other spouses as they come into this organization that we call at least the armed forces, is what I will say. Because places like where the spouse is at, everybody is there, Army, Navy, Air Force, uh, Coast Guard. So it's not just going to be one bright particular branch. So without further ado, let me welcome Mrs. Ashley Reese to the stage. Hi, Ashley, how you doing?

Ashley Ries 2:03

Oh, good, how are you?

Gary Wise 2:05

I am good. Thank you so much for being my guest today. I really appreciate you.

Ashley Ries 2:10

Thank you for inviting me. Happy to be here.

Meet Ashley: From Michigan To Military Life

Gary Wise 2:12

Oh, yeah. You know, when I look back on my career, especially my time as a CMC, especially my time as a base CMC, right? Because ship CMC, yeah, my ombudsman, that was, you know, my command support team, yeah, my FRG. But being a base CMC, man, the Fleet Family Support Center was such an important part of that installation magic. And then you were my ombudsman trainer when I was at Naval Base Guam. And so you definitely played a key role in our community. Plus, you were an ombudsman, plus, you were a part of the Ombudsman Assembly. I mean, just all the things. So just thank you very much for taking the time to share your story with people that are listening. I really appreciate you.

Ashley Ries 2:56

Yeah, of course. Thank you.

Gary Wise 2:58

You're welcome. All right, so let's get right into it, Ashley. Uh, you and your you came from originally. Let me let me think if I can remember. I feel like I I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like Northeast United States, is that correct?

Ashley Ries 3:12

For originally from or where we moved from last year? Yeah, where did you grow up at? Grew up in Michigan before Guam, we were in Washington, though, for a little bit.

Gary Wise 3:22

Okay, Michigan, then you went to Washington. And when you were coming up, growing up in high school, did you ever think that you were gonna end up living overseas so much as an adult?

Ashley Ries 3:34

No, to be honest, I kind of joke now. We've been on Guam for seven and a half years now. Yeah, and before we moved here, when we were in Washington and Chris made Chief and they were like, You gotta go, I was like, Where is Guam? I have no clue. Certainly was not on the radar. Um, but honestly, I thought I would stay in Michigan and never leave. And that has definitely not happened.

Gary Wise 3:59

So when you were growing up in Michigan, I mean, what were you thinking about doing after high school? Were you thinking about like, hey, just you know, because a lot of my students listen to this show and a lot of them are trying to figure out what they want to do with life after high school. And what were you thinking? Were you like, hey, I'm gonna graduate and go to college, I'm gonna go to a local thing? What were you looking at?

Ashley Ries 4:18

Yeah, so I actually I did go to college. Uh I started out at Grand Valley and I would thought I was dead set on what I wanted to do. It changed my junior year, which is about the time I'd met Chris and he was already in the service. So I I was going to school and staying in school to do physical therapy, and that it turned, it wasn't my game plan, but um happy with how it changed. So yeah, then I changed universities, moved to Connecticut to meet my spouse there, and here we are. Escalated really fast.

Gary Wise 4:53

How did y'all meet? Did you meet like through a family connection, or did you just out into town one day? Because you said you were in Michigan when you met him, or were you in Washington?

Ashley Ries 5:03

Yeah, we were young and carefree, and I was friends with his cousin, and they kind of connected us and just flew out there one spring break and uh in in college, and it changed once we once we met in person. And next thing you know, I was planning to move and get married, and yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, very unexpected, very quick, but it worked out now.

Gary Wise 5:30

Hey, God knows, right? And yeah, I I get I give it up to God because I remember before I met Erica as a young sailor. I lived in Japan my first three years, and I would literally sit around and think, like, am I ever gonna meet this person I'm gonna marry? Right? Like, I'm a young sailor, you're alone, no family, nowhere to live. You're just kind of like, Oh my god, this sucks. And then one day I meet this woman, and I'm like, Oh my god, that's I think I'm in love already. I I knew so quickly that it was just meant to be. So it sounds like you guys had a very quick connection.

Ashley Ries 6:04

It was very quick, yeah. And we always say like it things work out how they're supposed to, because I had grown up in Michigan going to the same school my whole life. Senior year I had to switch, and that was how I even met his cousin. So if that one very unexpected change didn't happen, we probably would have never met. Um, so kind of cool how how that works out and how the plan, you know, you never know what's what's ahead.

First Submarine Tour & Early Challenges

Gary Wise 6:30

Very cool. And when I think about that, I think about I bet you were upset when you had to move schools, and I bet you were like frustrated, like, why is this change coming? And I see this with people, especially kids that can't control their lives, right? Their parents are the ones that are making these choices. And then you just I tell them you just gotta be optimistic because you don't you don't know, and then here you are. I think a living proof is right around the corner, it could be a great thing. Don't be too don't be looking so far down at the ground like you're so upset that you miss what can be right in front of you, right? That's awesome.

Ashley Ries 7:01

Yeah, absolutely. That was exactly how it how it was, and then even career-wise, big changes that certainly wasn't in my plans, but happy with where it led.

Gary Wise 7:12

Okay, definitely. Well, if we're gonna go there. So you go to Groton, is it Groton? You go to Groton, Connecticut. Yep, and it's is that Chris's first command?

Ashley Ries 7:22

He was, I think it was his, yeah, it was his first sub that he was on. So yeah, it turned into about five years, almost five-year tour on that sub.

Gary Wise 7:33

Okay, so how was that as a young spouse leaving home for the first time, have a sailor, and you're in Groudon, Connecticut, right? Which I mean very similar, I would say, line in the map, but it comes to the USA. So it's like cold, cold winters, warm summers. But I've been to I've been to Newport. The the Northeastern United States is a lot different than other parts of the country.

Ashley Ries 8:00

Yeah, yeah, it was it was an adjustment. I mean, we were so busy and just so young at that time that we we made the best of it. I was working full-time, going to school full-time. He was gone all the time. So we were kind of able to juggle our own our own lives and make the most when we came back. But it it was certainly adjustment being away and kind of realizing, okay, this is what I'm stepping into. Um, because he was gone a lot being on a submarine, but yeah.

Gary Wise 8:32

How was the community of the submarine community, I would say, or the military support community when you got to Groton, Connecticut? Because again, my first my first sea tour was overseas. So that's kind of what I grew up knowing. I think it would have been different if I would have gone to my first ship being in like San Diego or Washington. But then I've always felt a little more alone there because everyone's just like doing their own thing and no one's really thinking about each other, right?

Ashley Ries 8:58

Yeah, that was exactly how it was. And especially now being in Guam so long, the I always say the community, like being in Guam is unique in itself. The military community, everybody's there, it doesn't matter your branch, like you're all connected. Where in the States we were all living our own lives, you have your own things. So the the tight-knit community, it wasn't as strong. We still had our our family readiness group, but it wasn't it nothing compares to the support overseas and with Guam.

Gary Wise 9:30

Yeah, definitely. So when Chris is doing his first boat, and he he was, like you said, underway a lot because he's on a boat, they're gonna be deploying. What year was that about? Do you remember? Like, when did you guys get married?

Ashley Ries 9:43

Um, so that was around we got married in 2013. So I think I moved there like 2012. Okay, so right around there.

Gary Wise 9:53

And when he would go on those deployments, were those like six months, seven-month deployments, or were those they were about, I think about six months. Six months, yeah.

Ashley Ries 10:02

He had a lot of there's also some shipyard, I think, in that time period where he was elsewhere. So a little bit of a mix, yeah.

Gary Wise 10:10

I would, I mean, um, at that time of your life, you're probably trying to learn what all that stuff even means, right?

Ashley Ries 10:14

Like, what's no, I had no idea. I was absolutely clueless, yeah, totally clueless. Now I can say it, like I I kind of know what I'm talking about, but yeah back then he would be like, Oh, I gotta do this. Okay, where are you going? I have no idea.

Gary Wise 10:28

No, I remember so Erica was an ombudsman for my second ship, the USS Ogden. And literally, I had called her up and said, Hey, they're looking for a volunteer. What do you think? And she's like, Sure, I'll do it. She had no idea what she was getting into, she just thought it was a volunteer role, right? And then we went on a deployment, and it was she was a young spouse, that was her first ship, and holy crap, she was she she was not prepared for that role, and it helped us huddle out a lot in our long-term career goals. But at first, I mean, holy cow! Um, when Chris is going through his first boat, uh, do you remember him being like, Oh, yeah, this is what I'm gonna do for the rest of my like for a career, or was he still kind of unsure?

Ashley Ries 11:10

Oh, oh no. I always say I got tricked in this. Um, not not really, but we were that was our plan. He was gonna get out, and and then it came time to him for him to get out, like after we said, after we get married, he'll finish that, and then then we'll be done, move back to Michigan. And then that did not happen. It was like, well, we're we're kind of not ready. Maybe we'll do one more tour, you know, um, because there was a little incentive with that, and then we'll plan, we'll be prepared, I'll be done with college, we'll just be in a better place. And then that tour ended again, and I was like, Well, okay, maybe one more. And then he made chief, and he was right on that cusp of, hey, 10 years, are we doing this? And I was not, I was not for it. I will always say I was very much, I want to go home, I don't want to do all of this. And um, once we made that decision, I was I was in it at that point. Once he was at 10 years and we decided, I was like, I either have to get on board or figure something out.

Gary Wise 12:13

So yeah, oh no, I get I get it. I so understand, and I think a lot of young people, especially young couples, are trying to figure that out, and you you got this stability that everyone thinks is so unstable, but for us, it can be stable, and then it's what you know. So, where did he go after the first boat? What was that second tour?

Community Contrast: Stateside vs Guam

Ashley Ries 12:35

Uh, so he stayed in Connecticut, um, and then he ended up going to Washington, and in Washington, was that gonna be another ship?

Gary Wise 12:44

Another summer?

Ashley Ries 12:47

And then it was cut a little bit short because then he had um made chief and okay off to Guam.

Gary Wise 12:54

How did you like the coast to coast move from uh from Connecticut to Washington?

Ashley Ries 13:00

Um yeah, it was. I mean, we were excited for a change. We made a full trip out of it. We stopped in Michigan to visit family on the way, and we actually did a Diddy move, moved ourselves the whole way, but it was a lot easier. It was only us, not all of our children that we have now, could never do that now. Um, but stopped in Michigan and then we just made stops all along the way and had Chris's sister come and just made a full adventure. But I Washington was great, it was a little too rainy for me, just like constant drizzle. But we enjoyed Washington though.

Gary Wise 13:34

Yeah, somehow I never got to live, you know. But some mariners will go to Connecticut, they'll go to Washington. Uh, and those are some of those places that people they either really love it or they're not so sure, right?

Ashley Ries 13:45

Yep, yeah. I know a lot of people that loved Washington. I just love the the sun, which is why I've been great in Guam. It's more my style.

Gary Wise 13:54

I get it, I get it. Yeah, when your husband picked up Chief, right? Did you have any was there any like big, big concern about that? Was he like, oh my gosh, this is a big thing, or was he kind of just like I'm gonna make Chief? Oh, that's just another rank. How was that for you guys?

Ashley Ries 14:11

Uh I think honestly, I think we were kind of surprised in that. Um, he he, I think almost had 10 years or was right at the 10-year mark. So we were not expecting it. And also I did not know honestly, like what it meant at the time because again, I was still so oblivious, even that looked far into his career. I didn't understand how how important that was and what a you know, a big stepping stone that was for him. Um, so it was I think just more of a shock at that time. And then also, what's our game plan now? Because once he made it, he was like, I might as well stay in. And so there were all those conversations.

Gary Wise 14:53

Yeah. Had you guys ever talked about him doing other paths, like possibly commissioning into the officer program, or because I remember when I made chief, I was just working on promotion, right? I really didn't care that much about what I was gonna do. And Erica had no real vested interest. She was just like, Whatever makes you happy, but I'd like you to continue to progress, right? So you feel like you're getting uh recognition for all the hard work you're putting in, right? And then when I went through initiation, I was like, Oh my god, it's all this thing, and she was like, What? It's what yep, and it was way more because they were really just throwing gas on the fire, and I bought into it all. Like, I believe I'm like, okay, I can dig into this. I love people. Was that how it was for you guys a little bit too?

Ashley Ries 15:36

Yeah, well, he so he never ever considered the officer side. We we had a couple conversations of like, okay, should you? And he was always like, Nope, I'm a chief, I'm always a chief, and that was his mindset, and it was the same thing going up. Never expected the cob path. Um, but I think once he once he was moving, he he enjoys it and loves what he does now. So um he just wanted to make it make it up there.

Gary Wise 16:06

Well, and I'll tell you the one thing about going into the command pipeline, uh, he'll probably see this, he'll probably tell you this. It's a nice change of pace from doing like this one specific thing all the time. You're gonna do a little bit more, a little bit more critical thinking, a little bit more broad, broader involvement. And oh, by the way, you still know all the cool stuff you already knew. So you're an asset, right? To the boat, yeah.

Ashley Ries 16:29

Yeah, and I think for for him, that was kind of what made the change. He was like, I didn't he didn't really care to go back on a submarine to be a radio chief again. Yeah, I don't really want to do that. I want something, I want something different. So this was his way to do that.

Gary Wise 16:43

So yeah, yeah, and it opens up more billets too, like more places you can go to for jobs. Like I mean my wife knew we wanted to go back to Japan, and when I was a DC master chief, there was just really it was hard to get back to Japan as a CMC. It was pretty easy to go to Japan, right? Like, yeah, no problem. Okay, so how did that conversation go when he comes home and says, Hey babe, uh, we're going to Guam.

Ashley Ries 17:07

Uh, so he called me first to like preface, like prepare me for that, because he knew, like, oh gosh, the um, she doesn't even know if we're staying in the military yet, and now we're shipping, you know, off. Um, but they started that conversation early, and we had to wait until the season ended, of course, to see a no final answer. And the whole time I was like, nope, this is crazy. Uh, it didn't go, it went okay. And eventually we just said, you know what, we'll just take it as it is. It's an adventure, it'll be a change. But uh, we started to really look forward to it. It not immediately though, it took a little bit of time to kind of talk through that and get excited about some things, but we did.

Orders To Guam & A Long Separation

Gary Wise 17:51

Yeah, for sure. I mean, again, like a lot of people, they they don't really understand where Guam is located in the world. I had pulled into Guam on a ship, my first two, my first ship, and I'd pulled in several other times. And so, what we thought about Guam for Erica and I, she liked it because she's a raised her family's Puerto Rican, and so she's like, Oh, well, Guam's got a lot of similar characteristics to Puerto Rico, right? The Spanish influence, all that stuff. So that was the exciting part, and then the tropical island piece, but I don't think any either one of us really thought about how long that flight was gonna be so long from the from the states to Guam, right? Yeah, and that's even after go living in Hawaii and Japan a few times. Like it feels like you can get to Tokyo way faster than Guam.

Ashley Ries 18:37

Yeah, that extra leg of that flight, that extra plane, you're just like, oh okay, one more. Yeah, the kids have like we I've traveled multiple times or a couple times back with just the kids and myself. They are troopers and they're almost better than me on all those flights because by the end and the time change, you're just you're spent.

Gary Wise 18:58

You gotta really want it.

Ashley Ries 19:00

Yes, yep, yep. Family back home makes it a lot easier to recover when you see them.

Gary Wise 19:06

But when we finally landed in Florida after coming back from Guam to retire, my boys were like, I'm good if I never get on an airplane again because they were just it was a long day, you know. Oh my bet. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So when you guys get to Guam, how was the reception there? What did he have? Did you guys have like the people at the airport picking you up, have all the trinkets for you ready to go? Do you remember that?

Ashley Ries 19:29

Oh, we remember it very clearly, very unprepared. This was, I mean, again, we had only moved the one time and it was by ourselves, right? Um, so and I think when, and now we look back and we're well, of course, they thought we would be prepared because he had just made chief. He's been in, like, how would he not know what to do? Um, so there was kind of that assumption there. Um, but our ombudsman was there because the command was gone. They were already um in San Diego for some maintenance, and so we knew they weren't gonna be there when we came. So it was only our embudsman, but she was amazing. Uh, greeted us, got us all ready, had a goodie bag. Um, we got settled in the hotel, and then it was a panic of okay, we didn't really have a hotel booked for this whole time. And yeah, so we were not very prepared, but we had we were thankful for our ombudsman that that met us because she really saved us.

Gary Wise 20:25

That I will tell you, I've never seen an ombudsman like Guam ever, ever in my entire career. Very unique, yeah, very unique. I have never seen Ombudsman like Guam, but I've also never seen a place like Guam where people always go to the airport and like greet people at the airport. Yeah, it's just like we it's I don't know if it's a thing of pride, I don't know if it's tradition, I don't know if it's just because of how the lay of the land is, but I've been a lot of places in my career, only one place have I ever landed where my commanding officer was at the airport waiting to pick me up, right? And that was Guam. And it's just it's a great place, you know, for sure. So when you guys first got there, are you all in like a downtown hotel, like Dusatani? Or are y'all like down on base at like one of those uh NGIS houses?

Ashley Ries 21:11

So we we were kind of bouncing for a little bit. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait too long, but we started an NGIS and then we actually had to go up to a couple of the hotel rooms that they had, like right up by Flag Circle here um and stay in those. And then thankfully, not too long after that, we were able to get a house, so which worked out because he was gone within a week, so we were able to stay and then um get a home and drop our stuff. And oh my gosh, yeah, it was chaos, and he ended up being gone for it turned into a year and a half, so oh whoa, hold on, yeah.

Gary Wise 21:51

So first of all, I I can I unfortunately I can relate because I've done that to my wife a few times, yeah, especially as a chief, right? You gotta be on the boat, we're getting underway, and you leave your wife. I left Erica and Hayden alone in Japan for like six months because I was gone on the George Washington. I came back because she was a pro and I knew nothing about Japan, right? But how in the heck was he gone for a year and a half, right after you get to Guam? What the world? What happened?

Ashley Ries 22:17

Yeah, so it was supposed to be like a I think it was originally scheduled for about 11 months of maintenance, and then things happened, extensions happened, and it turned into about a year and a half.

Gary Wise 22:29

So they were taking the boat back to the states for maintenance.

Ashley Ries 22:32

Yeah, they had uh rode it to San Diego, so then he was here for a week and flew to uh to San Diego to meet them, and then there was a lot that happened in that time because I came out, we had our oldest, so he was a year and a half at the time when we came to Guam, and I was pregnant with our second. So I think Chris only came home maybe once in that year and a half, and it was when we had Miles, our second.

Gary Wise 22:57

Did you guys know when you got the orders to go to the boat in Guam that that maintenance was coming and he was gonna go away for that long period?

Ashley Ries 23:05

Not right when he got orders, but once he started having conversations, we did know that was that was coming. They did prepare us thankfully that hey, you're gonna have to go pretty quick. And we were just crossing our fingers that our household goods showed up in our car, and everything somehow worked out. It was kind of a miracle. Our household goods were um scheduled, like while that week he was here, house happened, household goods, and the truck showed up, which is pretty unheard of for that that quick. So everything worked out as good as it could be.

Gary Wise 23:38

So now, and are you still in that same house now where you guys moved in, or did you guys get the chance to relocate? We sure are.

Ashley Ries 23:44

Oh no, we are still in this house seven and a half years later. I always I joke saying this house might fall down before we leave, but um or they'll just have to bust it down and rebuild once we leave. Because yeah, we've we have made this house a home, that is for sure.

Gary Wise 24:03

Good for you. I like that. Okay, yeah, because I'll tell you, some people they get there and they're not really happy with their house, and they'll try to play house house roulette. And I get it, especially if, like, you know, your change of duty stations, or like you guys now he's a cob, for example. I can 100% have I can see us working something out, but if you're happy with your where you're at, that's great.

Ashley Ries 24:23

Yeah, I only said we have too much stuff now, too many kids' toys, keep it here, we're comfy.

Gary Wise 24:30

Oh no, Eric and I we moved one time when I was on Guam, and Eric and I moved our whole house on a weekend, and it was a that was a lift.

Ashley Ries 24:36

A lot of lift, but you know, I'm thankful for those those movers when you do PCS because yeah, it's a lot of work.

Gary Wise 24:45

So when you get to Guam, you're there for that year and a half. What's that look like for you? I mean, are you just are you just recognizing that it's a totally different pace of life? Because it is, it's very I remember the first time I drove around the base, I was like, wow, this place looks a lot different than I expected. You know, just the air is hard on things, right? The salt.

Settling In: Housing, Help, And Ombudsmen

Ashley Ries 25:03

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, even just stepping out from the airport, it you get hit with the humidity. Um, so I was like, oh boy, but I love, I mean, we took advantage of everything that we could being on the island, the slower pace, because I was I couldn't work when I first moved. So that was a big adjustment for me, but it it worked out with the timing, having a toddler and and expecting another one. So I was able to kind of wind down like I needed. And when we were in Washington, I was working and um working on my master's at that time, and so it was a good change of pace, and we were able we took advantage of everything we could while he was gone. It was hard though, being that it was a shock to be that far away, even just calling home. You know, you have your little window of time that you can call to catch him, and that was that was a challenge.

Gary Wise 25:56

It really is. I I I definitely can relate to that. Um, real quick on your education. So your bachelor's, you were going to school to be a physical therapist. What'd you end up getting your bachelor's in?

Ashley Ries 26:06

I did a full flip and I went the business route. So um I it business administration, but my focus was in human resource management. Okay, and unfortunately, I I started my master's, but I didn't end up completing because we came out here and the connection and all of that.

Gary Wise 26:25

So yeah, I understand. Yeah, I understand totally. Yeah, definitely. Okay, so now you're in Guam. How long are you there before you decide I'm gonna start plugging into the community and like volunteering and getting involved in things?

Ashley Ries 26:39

So it wasn't long, which, like I said, before before all of this, I was very disconnected from it, like uh everything. I didn't understand, like we did not speak any of that similar language at all. We kind of it was kind of separated in a way um until we came here, and then a few uh maybe a couple months in our ombudsman said, Hey, what what do you think about this role? And I said, Absolutely not, there's no way, there is absolutely no way. And she was like, Well, what if you, you know, let me give you some info on it? And I finally I agreed to go through the training, was like, I'll go through, but in my head, I was like, I'll go through and maybe not be questioned again and just say, Hey, I learned it's not really my thing. But then I sat through training and I was like, oh, this is kind of like a a little HR-ish for for the you know um command, if you will. And so I was like, okay, I might actually be interested in this. So I was co-embudsman with our ombudsman maybe a few months in in. So it did not take long, and then I never stopped.

Gary Wise 27:52

But once you get out there, like you get immersed in this culture, right? Like everywhere you go, it's Navy Exchange and Minimar, it's so yeah, it's everyone's talking about military stuff, and so that training, and that's what Erica said when she first did the ombudsman training, it connected a lot of dots for her that I had never even let her know were on the board, right? Because again, I'm not looking at it through that lens. Because I mean, my wife was going to lunch with the captain and the CMC, and I barely talked to them dudes. Like, I'm I'm I am a first class petty officer, second class petty officer at the time, and she's like hanging out with them. And I I look back on my career and I think, you know, it was because of her volunteering in that role, I might have gotten some extra sunshine because they they're like, Oh, that's our ombudsman's husband, right?

Ashley Ries 28:39

Yeah, yeah.

Gary Wise 28:40

And that's not why you should do it, but it is a collateral piece of the pie, right? It does help. And then when you go home at night, they might have a little more understanding as to what you're going through for sure.

Ashley Ries 28:52

Yeah, and I think it it really like brought our two worlds together for us because I was so like, I don't care. And like, I'm I'm here for the ride was kind of how it was. Um, but it brought us, we were just able to connect a little further, which helped his career because he had a wife that I I now understood and I cared, and you know, was there to support him in ways because I understood more things too. So there's definitely that piece for sure.

Gary Wise 29:20

When you guys what year was it you all landed on Guam? Do you remember? Was it 16?

Ashley Ries 29:24

It was 2018.

Gary Wise 29:26

2018? Oh wow. So you were only there about a year before I got there. Yeah, I thought you were there longer than okay. So 20, how different was Guam? Is Guam back to normal now, in your opinion, from everything that went through during COVID?

Ashley Ries 29:41

No, I think it's slowly getting there. There were so many changes that I always say, and I feel like everywhere, it's kind of like, well, pre COVID, but Guam truly changed a lot from COVID. And they're still, I mean, companies out in town that you know closed and you haven't seen them back. Or just even just like down to the commissary, like the what we got before, and then whatever change happened during COVID, it's it is different now. Very different.

Gary Wise 30:12

I I will tell you, people have no idea how much Guam went through during the pandemic. They just we were out of sight, out of mind. Of course, we were being overleveraged by bigger powers than us, and our community really, really, really bore the brunt of that. And then, of course, coming out of it, since we're like a Department of Defense stronghold, we had to follow all the rules all the way to the end.

Ashley Ries 30:37

Oh, yeah. It was a lot here.

Gary Wise 30:39

Yeah, it was a big change for sure. Uh when you look back on uh the time that before COVID and after COVID, like the areas you hit, are those the biggest things that you've seen change? Just the commissary doesn't feel like it got back to where it needed to be, yeah, and that the businesses that shut down never really came back.

Finding Purpose: Training And Volunteering

Ashley Ries 30:58

Yeah, and I feel like some of the just the base entities in general, I mean, they kind of had to go in a lull during COVID. And I feel like they haven't come back up from that. You know, they had to maybe get rid of all the in-person, like even just Fleet and Family having to get rid of the in-person and um trying to build that community back up to say, hey, we're still here. Um even MWR events, things like that are just different. Trying to pull people in like they used to be big and have the concerts, and no fault to MWR on that, but people just don't get out like they used to, even it did shift the culture and our and society, right?

Gary Wise 31:43

People definitely realize they could do a lot more things virtually, or did they really want to put themselves in a certain position? And that's tough, man. I feel bad for that. And I remember thinking, I remember when I wanted a drive-thru drive-in movie so bad, On Guang, I was like, I want to drive, and I wanted it before the pandemic, and so then during the pandemic, I was like, Well, it's perfect time, Donna. Let's get a freaking drive in.

Ashley Ries 32:07

Yeah, here's our time. Hey, we loved those drive-in movies, we went to all of them.

Gary Wise 32:14

We did too, we did too. And it's just, you know, as I look back on my time there, uh let's let's cover that real quick because I think your career personally really escalated through COVID. And I because I that was when I really saw you professionally step back out of the just not only the volunteer role, but then into the professional space again, right? So uh before Guam, before COVID, you were an ombudsman, you were very involved in the community, ombudsman assembly, but you were not quite in the space where you took a paid position, right?

Ashley Ries 32:47

Yep. Yep.

Gary Wise 32:49

And then we go into the pandemic. What was it like as an ombudsman heading into something like the pandemic and helping the community when all of the sailors were like in bubbles and all these things, and the spouses were not in the bubble with the person? Like, how was that?

Ashley Ries 33:06

It was a big challenge. We had, I mean, especially with all those rules and guidelines. I mean, our command was deployed at the time. Um, so we knew they were struggling out there because they couldn't have port calls, they couldn't have anything. So they're just stuck in this tube, if you will. And they didn't even have their essentials. So the spouses here were taking care of their own challenges, but we also were back boxing up like extra toothpaste and body wash to put into a quarantine space to get shipped out to them, you know. Um, so there were that challenges, but then being back here trying to help the spouse's one navigate the the rules that were constantly changing. Um, but even as far as we had to have a battle buddy, so I had to report as ombudsman, find out who their one person was, they're allowed to communicate with. Yeah, I remember that support and routed up to the squadron here and say, hey, if they're caught with this person, it's okay, they're allowed, which is insane because here they are struggling, yeah. And they couldn't remember that take like their children's shots.

Gary Wise 34:17

That came from the spouse community though, because they were like, We need to have somebody we can hang out with and help. I remember that. I remember figuring out a way to get to yes on that.

Ashley Ries 34:28

God, I remember as a budsman telling our our spouses, like, we we already are some of them were struggling with just deployment in itself, and then you add COVID and all those other things, trying to be told you can't go to the grocery store with your children, they're not allowed. I have no choice. What am I gonna do? Leave them home and then you know get in trouble for that. So I just told them, do what you have to do if we have any issues, like be smart, be mindful, but we're we're behind you and we'll handle you know, whatever because we just need to get by, really.

Gary Wise 35:02

You remember when we opened the commissary and it was like a car waiting line and everybody in the parking.

Ashley Ries 35:08

Yes, I do remember there was the cones, the path that you had to, and you would be sitting in that for a long time.

Gary Wise 35:16

I remember that. But but people have no clue what we were going through out there in that island, it felt like a freaking movie, you know. And you had the sailors and all the lay-down areas just sitting there, like in elementary school, all of our schools were closed. It was nuts, man.

Ashley Ries 35:32

Well, even just seeing the the service members that all had to be stuck at the school, and we would go for a walk because you can't do anything else. You you know had to be mindful. So we'd walk hoping we'd see each other, like see people on the sidewalk. Um, and there's just people trapped in. It really was like a movie, they're just blocked off, they're allowed to step outside in that one space. Yeah, they're like, What are they doing over there? I can't even, I don't even know how to explain this. It's can't be real.

Gary Wise 36:01

It was it was so surreal, it was so surreal. Like, I looking back on it all, I it changed. It I I believe that was a pivotal time in our society, similar to 9-11. When people remember where they were at 9-11, people are gonna remember where they were at during the pandemic, right? They're gonna remember the lessons. When I when we retired, I wanted to come to Florida because of how I saw how Florida lived during the pandemic, and I was like, I want to go live there, man. Like, I don't want to go, yeah, I don't want to live where people are snitching on people, people actually get in trouble because they're having friends over. Like it was wild.

Ashley Ries 36:35

Yeah, but they're wild. You had to like people would be calling the cops just because you were standing outside in your mask, talking to somebody. Like, we we're humans, we need connection still, especially during a time like that.

COVID Hits Guam: Rules, Fear, And Resilience

Gary Wise 36:51

But do you remember? I remember we were also there, it was there was genuine fear, though. Like at first, people really were afraid. Like, I remember watching the news and be like, yo, America's dying, like, people are getting killed in incubators, and we don't have any incubators, right?

Ashley Ries 37:07

Yeah, I remember when they brought the ship in.

Gary Wise 37:10

Yeah, I remember when they were bringing the Theodore Roosevelt, and I was like, We only got like 60 beds on this whole island, bro. You're gonna take that many from a division on board that ship. And what about all the people that thank god none of that ever came true? But whoa, that was real fear at first. Yeah, I remember when we had all the masks made with like NWU uniforms, and yeah, the spouses were making all those masks for everyone.

Ashley Ries 37:35

They were sewing stuff, shipping them, like handing them off to commands.

Gary Wise 37:40

Really, it was a very it was very, very strong community first, yeah.

Ashley Ries 37:44

But Guam definitely came together in that. I said Guam definitely pulled together in that through the fear, through the chaos.

Gary Wise 37:52

100%. Very proud of the community, and and look, Erica and I do say that we were very thankful we did the pandemic on Guam. Believe it or not, like all of that chaos, looking, laughing through it all now, looking back at it, thinking about how crazy it was. Uh, there was a lot of blessings to it. You know, you could go out and smell the air, you can go to the beach. There was it was problems, but it was such simple problems, right? Whereas you didn't have these comp like we didn't have to deal with a lot of crime, we didn't have to deal with a lot of the protests and the riots and all that other crap that came along with it, right? We had everybody pretty much together. Yep. Some people would get frustrated, but for the most part, everyone was okay.

Ashley Ries 38:36

Yeah.

Gary Wise 38:37

Yeah, for sure. So, what was it coming out of that pandemic time period that you decided to apply for a position with fleet and family?

Ashley Ries 38:45

So I actually had applied, funny enough, like right just before COVID started in it, but it got prolonged because then they really couldn't work in the center, and so there was all that. So it actually got pushed back for I want to say it was almost six months because of everything. And then I did start up in September once things settled and things were back up and running because I couldn't do my background check and fingerprints and all of that until people were back in buildings. So um we had to wait for all of that. But yeah, I already wanted before, knowing just the omudsman, and I was ready to dive in, do more. I started to really miss, I always missed working, but I was ready for more. So when that opportunity came up, it it was a perfect kind of segue into to do more.

Gary Wise 39:36

Definitely, definitely is. And I've always felt like that's a great space for a senior enlisted spouse to land, um, just because of your experience. And then, of course, you did you did all the things, right? You were that ombudsman. Now you're a now you're a command support team spouse, like you've got that experience that brings a ton of credibility to the fleet and family support center. Plus, you've you can actually have legitimate conversations with people, advice. Nothing against the people that just get the job there, but if they've never done the thing or if they've never been a spouse of a deployed service member, you're not, it's not uh it's I have a hard time gritting my teeth when someone's giving me advice and they never did the thing, right? You never did the thing. Yeah, that's tough for me.

Ashley Ries 40:17

And that's why I loved when I did like deployment briefs because it was, I mean, me and Chris have had challenges on that, and we have had moments where we had to have, you know, a fight to work through our communication through deployment. And I will use those examples of hey, we did not communicate. This is why I'm here talking about how important it is, because you know, we kind of had to get to that point. So that that experience definitely helped support the role for sure.

Gary Wise 40:45

So you came in and you were the ombudsman trainer, or was that was that what it was?

Ashley Ries 40:50

Ombudsman coordinator was yeah, what I originally started out with was just ombudsman coordinator part-time. It didn't and now what are you doing with the food that was so I was at the local center for about four and a half years, went from ombudsman coordinator and then took on like deployment, FRG, um, and then ended with still having all of those roles and added tap manager in there. And then I recently transitioned in November over to the new remote uh fleet family. So we do virtual virtual workshops and one-on-one consultations, but we also can go out and support commands, so like those that are deployed or in remote locations, they can put in requests or even different centers if they need um the additional support. And we can travel and give them different trainings.

Gary Wise 41:45

I've been seeing that a lot actually. I I know another spouse who I think is doing that position in Japan. Her husband and I serve together once upon a time in Japan. That's also it's so is it virtual, like you work from home?

Ashley Ries 41:58

It is, yeah. So it's great, and and we get to reach. I mean, we have me and Guam, we have a good Japan team now. And in Italy, uh, we have uh an employee we have throughout the states. I think there's about 36 or so of us now. Um, but it's awesome. We get to connect with different branches, different people all over, which is great.

Gary Wise 42:21

Very cool, and it's just the way the world's going, right? I mean, yeah, it I I do a lot of business with people, and a lot of it's just like this, right? It's just yeah, again, COVID taught us you can get a lot done via webcam.

Ashley Ries 42:34

You can reach more, yeah. And it's cool too, because in fleet and family, I mean, nothing beats an in-person local fleet and family, you know, to walk in, but the especially those service members that are out, they don't have access to that stuff and to say, hey, sorry, you can't see anybody for tap, you know, and and you're gonna be less prepared to get out than potentially somebody that's closer. We have that ability um to go further, which is I love it's cool.

Gary Wise 43:00

Okay, and so uh I I saw I saw you and Chris had a daughter since I've last seen you. So now you've got the three kids, right? Congratulations.

Ashley Ries 43:09

Pure chaos, yes.

Gary Wise 43:12

Yeah, that's awesome, man. So, and your husband recently picked up Master Chief, and he's the chief of the boat now, he's at the command program. Um, what do you guys would think you want to do next? Any ideas?

Ashley Ries 43:25

We are not sure. So we do know when we um not long after he came to this uh command, we found out they are doing a home port change. So we'll find out where that is. So that'll be we we kind of joke that that is our one ticket off this island, is if he just rides a submarine out of out of here. I think we'll just follow it wherever it takes us because it's in between the couple places potentially, and then he'll do a shore tour and then hopefully retire. I say hopefully, I think he would be happy staying in, but um, so we'll see. Hopefully, it doesn't turn into the beginning of our relationship where it's like, well, about you know, three more.

Gary Wise 44:11

Well, how many years does he have in now?

Ashley Ries 44:14

Uh he's at 16. So he'll finish out uh sub, he'll probably end at about 22 if he finishes on short DB.

Gary Wise 44:22

I I will tell you, um, coming up through the ranks, I made I made mass chief at 16 years as well. Um, I went CMC at 18. Um after 20 years, it got kind of hard to focus. I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, right. Once you started, and right after I retired, my pay, my and my take-home pay doubled that much. And all of a sudden I realized how much I was I was compromising because I loved my job so much. Like I loved set sailors and people and and taking care of things and being in operations, and I loved all that. Trust me, it's one of the hardest parts I think for retiring is when you realize like I was really good at something once and I'll never do it again. That's tough, yeah. Like I talked to the kids and I'm like at my school, I used to be a really good damage control man, like I was a firefighter on a ship, and I was really good at teaching that, and I'll never do that again. I'll never get to go out in the ship again and like look at the horizon or whatever. But there's a lot of fun things to do on the other side too, and a lot of less pressure. So don't fight it, but I will tell you it does get hard to focus once you start realizing, like, hey, yeah.

Ashley Ries 45:35

I mean, I think he's seeing seeing some glimpses of that because he always he's nervous for he doesn't know what he wants to do after, you know. Um, and so there's all those questions, right? This is all he's done. So what does he want to do, you know, with that after? So those are definitely questions, but I think he is starting to see, you know, as the kids are growing up, they're getting older, they're it them being or him being gone while they're a year and a half is different than you know, Liam, who has competitions and they're doing all these things, and you know, Miles really growing into his own person, and I guess he's a baby girl, you know, he's he's missing those things.

From Volunteer To Fleet & Family Career

Gary Wise 46:19

So I'll I would tell you changing. I understand, Erica. So once once I one of my major career shifts was I was at a job working, a lot of stress, a lot of pressure, and Erica says basically, so what if you don't become an aircraft carrier CMC? And I was just like, What? Like, what do you mean? Like, that's the job, that's what we're working for, right? And she was like, But what if what if we didn't do that? She's like, because I see all these other guys you're friends with, and they're not getting underweight nearly as much as you do, and they're not doing all the things that you're doing, so you can't tell me that everyone has to do that anymore. And I was like, But they suck, right? Like, they're not getting it. Because I was like, I had this piece of pride where I'm like, I'm the guy that wants the hardest job possible. My family's built for that. And then she was like, Yeah, but what if we're not? Like, let's your kids are getting older, you're gone all the time, your stress. And that really was what led me going to Guam, truth be told, because I just said, you know what? Then I'm not fighting for this anymore. Uh Guam opened up, I said, Let's go there. And then next thing she knew, I said, and we're retiring. And she was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't I don't know about all that yet. I said, baby, I'm done. If I'm not going for the for the for the thing I wanted, I'll go do something else in my time. And and that's it, you know. So that was a big shift in our in our time in our fan. Because like you guys, it's all we had done since I met Erica when she was 19, you know, and I was a third-class petty officer, and we did the whole Navy thing. And to this day, like she works for the local school district now as a lunchroom monitor, and she tells me she laughs, she's like, they don't know I would have done this for free because my my son was in the school, and she's like, Overseas, I'm more than happy to volunteer in the school. The fact that they're paying me money was great, but then she sees all the other jobs that are available, and she's been getting qualifications and certifications because, like you, she's a grinder, right? And it's just there's so many opportunities, it's it's it's a little scary because it's like, oh my, I might end up being a full-time mama before I want to be, and I've still got little kids, and that's even in Guam, you find that piece of like work-life balance is not too hard because CDC is down the street, traffic isn't that bad if you stay on base, yeah.

Ashley Ries 48:36

And the school's right up the hill from where we're at.

Gary Wise 48:39

Right, right. Yep, but hey, I get it, and you guys are gonna go through a lot of interesting changes, but it's gonna be fun, yeah. You know, and hopefully he really enjoys being a cob and hopefully, hopefully the change of home port's not too bad. Uh, hopefully that's good. Uh, it's always been a scary thing, I think, to do that.

Ashley Ries 48:55

Um, yeah, I think it'll be a lot, you know, especially being the for him and the rest of the triad, you know, now getting everybody prepared, you know, it's not just your own PCS, you're getting everybody on board, but I think it'll be it'll be good in the end, I think. Yeah, it'll be a good one. We're excited for some change, more for the kids to do from being on Guam for so long, just an a new adventure. So I think it'll be good.

Gary Wise 49:21

Awesome. Well, hey, we're gonna I think we're about ready to wrap this sucker up, though. I appreciate your time. I got some questions I typically ask here at the end, so I'm gonna ask you some rapid fire questions, okay? Okay, you know, I gotta put my glasses on because I gotten old since you last saw me. I really have. It's it's bad. Okay, so Ashley, what was your like welcome to Navy life moment? Did you have a moment where you're like, oh my gosh, I'm a navy wife and this is a problem?

Ashley Ries 49:50

Did you did you ever have that moment? Do you remember that? I think it was once I stepped into that ombudsman role. I was like, oh gosh, I can't, I do enjoy this. I I am not anti uh I think that was the moment and I think the the first couple spouses I supported and saying, Oh, okay, I could be that that difference for them. And that was when I realized.

Gary Wise 50:12

Game changer for sure. What what is one of the biggest leadership challenges that you've seen people have or struggle with throughout your career?

Ashley Ries 50:24

I think communication, communication is huge in everything, um, but especially in the leadership role. I think sometimes it can be forgotten that people are also, you know, humans and still staying connected with them and communicating with them, uh, getting to know them as people, not just the job they're doing.

Gary Wise 50:45

Yeah, for sure. And I think people forgetting to constantly try to improve themselves, right? Because just because you get to a certain rank or a certain position doesn't mean that you're you're staying sharp. And you you have to always try. And so, next question is how can parents, I would say, best use like communic communication skills when it comes to raising their kids, do you think?

Ashley Ries 51:08

Uh, I think, especially in the military, um, in anywhere, but even more so with the military, use the resources and the people around you. Uh, it's one thing I think as a parent, like of course, always trying to be open and honest. Like, I'm very upfront with my kids on what's gonna happen, the changes, how's it gonna feel, and being open with those, but they don't always want to share with me, and that's okay. I don't always want to share with heck my spouse, even sometimes. You know, we need the other people to lean on, so connect with those resources and people and have have those other sounding boards and availabilities to to connect kids with, so they have many avenues to turn to than just that.

Gary Wise 51:51

For sure. Uh and I would tell you that just talking to them, talking to kids, talking to people, just communicating. You I think you're spot on. Communication is almost always one of the main things. Yeah, what's a piece of advice you would give to someone struggling, like a new spouse on Guam that's struggling with acclimating to the community or the new time change or missing home? What's a piece of advice you give to that person?

Ashley Ries 52:16

Get out. I think the people that uh are on Guam and do you know stay home or not get to know their neighbors or or people around them or just the community are the ones that struggle. Um, there's so many, I mean, so many different ways to get connected. If you love being outdoors, hiking, a mom's group, the neighbors, like there's volunteering, there's so many options. So getting involved in the community because you are far away. You can't just call home when you're homesick or um, and even sometimes calling home is harder because it is a reminder of we are really far away, and this kind of sucks. But having people here to do things with um that you enjoy, there there's people all over, and this this community is unique in connecting in that way.

Remote Support, TAP, And Global Reach

Gary Wise 53:06

No, no, true. Uh the the people that I've seen struggle the worst overseas are the ones that only want to obsess about what's going on back home, and they forget that there's this great opportunity to have a life around them every day. Yes, you know, and and you just gotta and technology sometimes helps, but that and that's one of the ways it can hurt because they're just always on the TV, they're always on the phone, and they're not thinking about what are the events, especially and kids help a little bit because you want to get your kids involved in things and you'll make friends, and there's friends, you know, there's there's friends, all right. So it's the weekend. Uh, we're gonna get something to eat. Would you want pizza or wings?

Ashley Ries 53:46

Oh, pizza, pizza.

Gary Wise 53:48

I'm not mad at it.

Ashley Ries 53:50

Yep.

Gary Wise 53:51

Okay. Um, so in the Navy, we got the birthing cleaners, or we got the working party. Which one do you think you would rather do? Would you rather go clean the birthing or do the working party?

Ashley Ries 54:00

Working party. I'm not mad at you. I get it.

Gary Wise 54:04

Um, De Niro or Pacino, do you like either one of those actors? And if so, who would you pick?

Ashley Ries 54:10

Ooh, I don't even know. I am the worst with actors, I will be honest.

Gary Wise 54:16

Okay. I picked that question because that's like one of the main arguments we'd have, like on a mid-watch, right? We'd all be just talking about crap that doesn't matter. We would literally get mad about movie choices that people would have.

Ashley Ries 54:27

So that's funny.

Gary Wise 54:28

Yep. Looking back on your career so far, uh, everything you've done, you and your husband, your life, would you say Guam is your favorite duty station?

Ashley Ries 54:37

Yeah, I think Guam is where we I mean, we made it a home, we made it a family. We we really grew a lot looking from where we were at um when we first got here to where we're at now. Um, Guam, I think Guam played a huge role in that.

Gary Wise 54:54

Okay, so since you've been on Guam, have you been able to travel anywhere fun? And if so, what where was that? What would that be?

Ashley Ries 55:02

So we've done a couple of trips to Japan. Uh one Chris went, um, we went as a family, and then just this summer I took all the kids and my kids would go back to Japan in a heartbeat. Absolutely love Japan, which is funny because we were always so against it and we're like, we would never be stationed there. There's no way. And I, if we could go back in time, Japan, we love Japan.

Gary Wise 55:25

Well, uh, you never know. Japan's easy to get in your future if you be careful what you wish for. It's true.

Ashley Ries 55:33

That's what we want.

Gary Wise 55:34

Yeah, especially Yokosuka. Like, I I really loved Yokosuka, the trains, the blue street. It was just super simple to get around. Tokyo, it's great. Um, looking back on your educational path and just everything you've kind of gone through in life, what do you think was the most important or the most challenging personal qualification you've ever achieved?

Ashley Ries 55:55

Um, I honestly, I think the biggest challenge that I always had was I I was, and it's not necessarily an accomplishment or achievement necessarily, but I think because when you're a military spouse, you're you have this career, I was dead set. HR is where I'm gonna be. And we struggled for a long time because you move, you change jobs, and you don't always find exactly what you want. You know, you're kind of doing what you can when you get there. And I think that was my biggest hurdle was I'm not in the field I want, I'm not doing exactly this and letting go of that mindset because that this position that I started with led me down a whole new path that I would have never ever ever thought of or thought I would care to do. Um, so just not being so dead set, I think, um, and changing that mindset of hey, it'll take me here and I'll learn this from this job and this from this job, and it's gonna build me up to what I want to be in the end.

Gary Wise 56:54

And it's really about fulfillment, right? Like that's why I tell people for because what I do as I work with high school kids, I could have mean I was offered some pretty good opportunities with some pretty high-paying figure jobs. Yeah, I turned them down because Erica was like, But you want to be retired, and what they're gonna want you to work a lot of hours, yeah. She was right, you know. Yeah, you have to enjoy it, yeah, and find things that have your cup full, then you'll you'll be amazed how much more you'll do when you're happy. Like it's incredible. A hundred percent. Okay, so so I think I know the answer to this, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. So if you had just if you had your choice, would you continue to serve overseas or would you go back stateside?

Ashley Ries 57:35

Overseas. Well, you know, I don't know. Part of it, we kind of struggle with this because Guam, you're kind of in a bubble. Your states can be a little crazy lately, so there is that fear, but if I think if family wasn't so far away, it would be overseas easy.

Gary Wise 57:52

Um the other part of when I retired, it was there's nowhere in the states that the Navy is that I want to live, and that was the problem.

Ashley Ries 58:03

Yeah, right.

Family Growth, COB Life, And Next Orders

Gary Wise 58:03

Yeah, I wanted to live in Florida, I wanted to live in central Florida, I wanted to find a hometown USA where I could find a good church, a good school, and a good community, and just be right. And that wasn't gonna be San Diego, and that wasn't gonna be Norfolk, and nothing against those places. I've lived there, but that's another reason why we stayed overseas so long because we we liked Yacouska and we liked Guam, so those are good places to live, right?

Ashley Ries 58:30

Yeah, absolutely.

Gary Wise 58:31

Yeah, I agree.

Ashley Ries 58:32

You have a favorite movie series, oh, movie series, yeah. I'm more of like a uh ugly TV, like shut your brain off, like um, what's the one I was? Love island, they're not good TV shows, they're ones nobody really should uh admit they watch, but truly that's that is my deployment go-to. You don't have to think there's all the drama, and it's not my drama, so I will take it.

Gary Wise 59:05

No, no, Erica used to always watch like the real world road rules challenge shows, yeah. And now we watch Big Brother, like that's always been a big one that we watch. Yeah, okay.

Ashley Ries 59:16

Like Big Brother, next level chef, that's a good one.

Gary Wise 59:18

Yeah, I'm with you. Uh okay. How about do you have a personal leadership philosophy or a personal philosophy that you apply to your role as your as you are a leader, you know, because you are you are a guide for people. Leaders are not always the people that have a high rank, you're just you're in a position to give in people influence and trust, and you use communication. So, do you have a personal philosophy in regard to that?

Ashley Ries 59:44

I think and part of it, of course, the communication, but and you mentioned it a little earlier, just always growing. And I will always be up front and say, if I don't know the answer, that's okay. Like we're all learning together. And I think kind of yes can be. Subject matter experts in certain areas, but never to I never think anybody's ever 100%. There's always more to learn, and being upfront about that of hey, you know what? I don't, I don't know. Let's look into it together, or I'm gonna find the answer. I'm gonna talk to somebody and just always wanting to learn more and diving deep into anything.

Gary Wise 1:00:21

Okay. Would you rather lead or follow?

Ashley Ries 1:00:25

Lead. Yeah, I would.

Gary Wise 1:00:31

I get that though, right? You're a military spouse, you're a mom, like ultimately you'd rather be in control of your own destiny, right?

Ashley Ries 1:00:37

100%. Yeah, I feel like especially as a military spouse, you end up controlling everything. And sometimes I have to catch myself a little bit. Like, okay, actually, you gotta stand back a little bit. But um, yeah, I would definitely rather lead and have some control over some things. I'd love to help along the way, but yeah, yeah.

Gary Wise 1:00:56

And hey, people typically need I don't mind helping people that are already working their butts off to help themselves. Yeah, I the people that are just like, oh my god, help me, and I'm laying on the ground helpless. Then I'm I get a little frustrated. Like, come on, bro, you gotta try.

Ashley Ries 1:01:10

Like, yeah, 100%. Put in some effort, even baby steps.

Gary Wise 1:01:14

Yeah, yeah, you gotta try. All right, hey, that is gonna be it. Do you have any saved rounds? Or so save, you know what saved rounds are, right? I don't so saved rounds are like uh usually at the end of a meeting, we're gonna say we're all done, and then somebody's like, Oh, I got something, and they'll shoot you with like a hard one. I would liken it to going to an um not none, a town hall where you're in a room full of angry people, and you say, Is there any other questions? And that one person is like, I'm gonna ask the most hardest question, right? So that's a saved round or an alibi, right? You got something else you want to talk about. Do you say do you have any save rounds or alibis before we wrap it up today?

Ashley Ries 1:01:52

I don't have any save rounds, but that does make me laugh. I thought you had ditched those hard town hall questions, but you're coming back for for more hard ones. Uh, I don't think I have any. I am curious to hear from you though. Uh, I've seen your journey um retiring and just the adjustment for you as a family, the kids, staying in a location, settling. I'm curious.

Gary Wise 1:02:15

So I will tell you it's been it's been it's been great, God. You know, it's funny. So I got I got the job when I was still on Guam and I was negotiating for a position at on the east coast of Florida, and then this position became available when I was uh going through tap class. So I contacted the high school, sent him my resume. The guy almost hired me on the spot. He was like, Yeah, for sure, let's do it. Um, bought my house. We bought our house sight unseen on Guam, right? Back in 2022 when prices were still kind of high, you know. But just I told Eric, I was like, you know, we just gotta do it. It's gonna be okay. We'll be fine. We're gonna and it's been great. Then we we come to the states, and like you said, household goods, right? Household goods took a while to get here. So we were living in an Airbnb for like the first I'd say three months waiting for our household goods to get here. Yeah, I I actually broke my back during that time. I almost died on terminal leave.

Ashley Ries 1:03:16

Oh my gosh, I did.

Career Crossroads, Kids, And Priorities

Gary Wise 1:03:18

I fell through my well. Here's the why, right? I I thought, hey, I'm retired now. I went off all my medications. I was just, I said, you know, I don't need any of this crap anymore. I'm fine, I'm retired, all my stress is gone. And God said, sit down, Gary. Like, so that was a hard lesson. I broke my so broke my back, break my head wide open. I'm laying on the garage floor, like, oh my god, I'm about to die in this in this garage. Had to get up, walk in the house, grab my cell phone, call 911, lay on the ground. They're loading me in the ambulance, and I'm like, hey, we gotta call my wife Erica. She's at the Airbnb. And uh, I gotta say, I gotta call my wife. And the apparent medic goes, Is her name Erica? And I was like, Yeah, why? He's like, She's calling you right now. I was like, Oh, great, answer the phone. So that was like when we first got out of the Navy. Uh, but so I started high school as a teacher with a big back brace on and all that. But but I will tell you, um, number one, the income thing that was huge, right? Just I was so worried about money. I was so worried about money because for so long I had had I had given my wife a stable house, right? She was never I was gone a lot, but the first and the 15th, the money was coming in and she knew what to do with it. And she that was she was very stable in that. She knew chite care, she understood base medical and the clinic and the base hospital. So those were her biggest fears, right? We were going somewhere with no base, like the closest base is two hours away. Um, so but but if we want our Navy exchange fixed, we can drive to Naval Air Station Jacksonville in two hours, and so we still do that once in a while, right? Um, but when the money changed and she saw how much money was coming in, that was a huge, like, oh my gosh, like retirement was a lot more money than she thought it was going to be, right? And I think that was a big change. Um, but she never did the math, right? I was the one doing the math. She was kind of hoping I was gonna change my mind, I think, and stay in longer. But uh, but yeah, I I I didn't want to do that. And then uh I would say working with the kids has just been great, you know. And I started the podcast because it was just a it's like my men's group kind of, and then I started reconnecting with people from my Erica said she's like maybe you should get people from when you were actually in the Navy, not just people that you don't know. Like, that's been a lot of fun reconnecting with people and sharing stories, and then people in my community really like it because even though there's Navy nearby, uh, America is good. America is good. I promise you. I know it feels like overseas, you're like, oh my god, America's burning, right? What is wrong with my country? But it's really not like that, you know. It is so great to be home and so great, so great to be a part of a community. And I live in a place where they really love veterans, they really appreciate people that serve. It's kind of nice getting away from the military a little bit in that regard, right? Yeah, yeah, where everyone's not super like, oh, who's your spouse? Who's your this? Who's your that? You know, um, it's a little bit more just like, hi, I'm Mr. So-and-so. I saw you at church, I see you volunteer church. That's great. What else can I do to help? Right, and that's what I do. I I got a middle school ministry I'm working with here at the church. Erica's a volunteer at the church. Hayden is about to graduate high school. So Hayden, my oldest, yeah, but he got to do ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade in one school. And for us, that was a because he did from kindergarten to ninth grade, Hayden did about five schools, I think. Uh, it was a lot of moving, you know, because no one told me or they told me I didn't listen that when I got in the CMC program, I was gonna get moved a lot, right? That didn't get and I did. My family moved, I think it was four times in three in about five years. It was a lot of move.

Ashley Ries 1:07:10

I think it's one thing in the military, though. They'll tell us one thing, you don't you don't realize it or feel it until you you're in it.

Gary Wise 1:07:18

Yeah, and you just it's it was also I always thought it was an honor, right? Oh, it's an honor, it's an honor. I'm the guy that they need, and what I learned was there's a lot of guys like me. I was just the one that was always willing to say yes, and other guys were willing to say no. And my wife was always like, Gary, say no, like you can say no. And I was like, I didn't think I could. That's been hard, right? That's been hard to walk away from not having so much to do, not having a phone that rings all the time, right? Yeah, um, but you get you get used to it, I guess, as much as much as you can, because unfortunately, uh and I'm sure that you and your husband know this, but when you go as hard as as we as he's gone, I'm sure you don't make master in 16 years by going easy, right? You just don't.

Ashley Ries 1:08:05

Oh no, yeah, I mean, he's made those sacrifices, like you're saying, where we've spoken, him and I have spoken before.

Gary Wise 1:08:12

We've we've had some good conversations, and uh unfortunately, when it's all said and done, there's some downsides to that, right? And it comes back to haunt you a little bit, and so the other thing for me was I wanted to give my I wanted to have a life with my family that I'd always hoped for, dreamed about. And while we love Guam, part of what I had to have was in the States, like I had to have my mom lives down the street, like literally five minutes from my house. That's awesome, right? My grand, my my wife's mom and dad are coming in town tomorrow to watch my son's first tackle football game, right?

Ashley Ries 1:08:46

Lincoln's playing tackle football at 11 years old, and that's a big part of our you don't get that when you're in the military, you barely get a video or phone call of those special moments, and that's awesome.

Gary Wise 1:08:58

Yeah, you don't, you know, and that was on the reverse. Uh, sometimes you get disappointed a little bit because we are so close. You thought there were going to be more in it, and people all have lives going on, so that can be a that's one other part, like you lose the community, like we don't have the community of the military around us, like we did have all these good friends to have people over and have good conversations and game nights and whatever, like that's different too, right? That is different, and he's he just worked through it, but but I'll tell you, it's going pretty freaking good. It's it's it's it's amazing.

Ashley Ries 1:09:34

Yeah, if there's anything military teaching, yeah, it's being resilient and even with all those changes, so yeah, but I'm glad it's going good, and uh yeah, it's good.

Gary Wise 1:09:45

All right, well, thank you very much for your time. I appreciate you. Uh I I will talk to you later. Thank you very much. Thank you, everybody. Bye bye.