Year-End Wins, Lessons, Next Steps

What if the most honest growth you had all year came from the mistake you’d rather hide? Gary pulls back the curtain on a year that mixed big wins with hard lessons: publishing Own Your Journey for students and families, launching Ocala Inspired to spotlight local leaders, and building a cross-platform community that crossed 1.7 million views—all while teaching full-time, parenting two boys, and serving teens at church.

We walk through the backbone of sustainable leadership at home and at work: model healthy stress management so your people don’t just hear it, they see it. Set boundaries you actually enforce. Create space to fail, then plan, brief, execute, and debrief so learning compounds. Ask better questions and listen longer—especially with teenagers who need curiosity more than lectures. Build routines that make discipline automatic. Practice radical ownership when a partnership or expense doesn’t align, even if it stings. And say the quiet part out loud: I love you, I trust you, and I expect your best. When trust breaks, rebuild it with guardrails, grace, and time.

You’ll also hear how simple tools and consistency beat fancy setups: shorts that pull people toward deeper conversations, weekly publishing to use every Buzzsprout minute, and a clear-eyed approach to growth on YouTube, TikTok, and beyond. We talk candidly about phones, intrusive care, and why parents must verify as an act of love. Through it all, faith grounds the work—belief in God, belief in family, and belief that purpose means nothing without action.

If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, or young leader figuring out life after high school, this conversation gives you a seven-part playbook for 2026 you can start today. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a nudge, and drop a comment with the one focus you’ll own first.

https://www.wordsfromthewise.net/

Chapters

• 0:00 Mission And New Year Intentions
• 1:02 Mentorship Focus And Audience
• 2:25 2025 Highlights: Book And Event
• 3:06 Community Over Outsiders
• 4:44 Going All In On Content
• 6:02 YouTube Growth And Goals
• 7:07 Podcast Momentum And Targets
• 8:30 Short Form Strategy And Reach
• 10:40 Family First And Travel Plans
• 12:28 Teaching, NJROTC, And Team Updates
• 15:08 Why The Book Matters
• 16:38 Transitions And Resilience
• 18:04 Hard Lessons: Certification Missteps
• 21:13 Reassessing Networking And Budget
• 22:53 Passion Project Setup And Tools
• 24:42 Seven Focus Areas For 2026
• 25:16 Model Healthy Stress Management
• 29:21 Boundaries That Protect Your Energy
• 33:08 Create Space To Fail And Learn
• 36:08 Ask Better Questions, Listen More
• 41:07 Phones, Trust, And Intrusive Care
• 45:28 Build Routines That Stick
• 46:16 Radical Ownership And Accountability
• 50:08 Believe In Yourself And Your Team
• 54:22 Recap, Gratitude, And Faith

Transcript

Gary Wise : 0:06

All right, everybody. Welcome back. Words from the wise. Gary here once again. Happy New Year. Uh, today it is New Year's Eve 2025 going into 2026. And man, what an exciting year it's been. Hopefully, it's been exciting for you and your family. And today, what I would like to do is just spend some time kind of recapping how 2025 went for, I would say, for my family, right? For my family, for me, for uh words from the wise, wise leadership solutions, as well as kind of looking at the way ahead and what can we do going forward. I'm not the person that believes that you should have to wait for the new year to establish goals or to kind of review where you've been. But hey, you know, it's some time without being at work. There's some time that everybody gets a chance to be together. Why not take the opportunity to kind of recap what you've been working on to ensure your energies go in the right place? Uh so without further ado, I want to remind everybody that our goal here is to offer mentorship, right? I want to go ahead and share my journey with people, my family's journey. I want to offer up a chance for my maybe my kids or my grandkids to one day watch these videos and get a chance to see uh what dad was up to and when he was alone in that room in the house, right? Like my wife says, talking to myself, right? I want to hopefully offer some guidance for my students as they graduate and as they move on with their lives. Maybe they can uh watch some of these videos and find some good insights and some lessons learned there. Uh parents, you know, I have a lot I have a heart for parents, especially parents of teenagers. I am a parent of a, you know, I have an 18-year-old son, I have an 11-year-old son. I work with teenagers all day, every day. So I have a I have a heart for parents that are working to raise uh young people. And then of course I led adults most of my career in the military, all of my career in the military, and they would typically get to us between the age range of 18 and 22, and I would help to develop them going forward. And so I have a vested interest and hopefully reaching out to them as well as they're figuring out life after high school, as they move into this world and then they go out and figure out what they want to do with themselves. Uh my journey uh with Words from the Wise is still just beginning, but I've got to tell you that 2025 was a great year. You know, we did some big things, I would say the biggest things. Uh I published a book, right? So there's a book titled Own Your Journey. I wrote this book in 2025. I wrote this book really for my sons, really for my family members, really for my students, and really for anybody who has somebody in their circle that's working on figuring out what their journey is going to be and to take ownership of their life. So that was a big deal, right? I published a book on Amazon. Uh never thought I would do that, but hey, 2025, we did it. Uh, I hosted a live speaker leadership development event here in Ocala, Florida. It was called, titled Ocala Inspired. Uh it was a it was an idea that I had from my time in the military. You know, when I was a master chief, uh, especially at Naval Base Guam when I was the command master chief, I would work to often put together leadership events for the sailors. I just felt like there wasn't a lot of formal leadership events available to them where they got the chance to listen to people share their insights. And I'm the guy that doesn't really believe you have to bring in outside people. You know, I remember we flew a person all the way to Guam one time to speak on our Navy ball. Literally thousands of dollars for plane tickets for this person and a spouse, hotel room, uh meals. And this person gets up there on the stage and gives a speech that literally any of my Master Chiefs on the island could have given. And so that was when I when I realized, you know, bringing people in from the outside of your community, in my opinion, is a waste of your money, right? I would much rather highlight people within my community that are doing very good and that are doing the right things and giving them a platform so that they can share and build a bigger, stronger following and community. And so that's what I did. I put together Ocala Inspired, offered a platform to six local speakers, sold, sold some tickets. I was very excited about that, right? Um, and so that was a lot of fun in 2025. The other thing we did uh was you know, I kind of went all in. I think kind of, I did go all in on this YouTube thing or on the social media thing. And that is, it started off as a virtual leadership certification training space, but then I recognized that the real value was the conversations between me and the people on the other end of the camera. And then it became well, why not just film the conversations with the camera and put it out for the world to see and make myself easier to find for people that might be looking for me. Um, and that's what I'm doing, right? And that's so that's what I'm doing. And then I spent a majority of the year also uh connecting with people that I served with in the military, looking to share their stories, and that was a lot of fun, and I'm still going to do that, but I'm also going to prioritize more this year, focusing on mentorship and offering insights into things that I think are valuable to these young people in particular that I that I teach every day. But when I look back on the year, let me, I mean, there were some numbers that were just amazing. So, for example, we set a goal. I set a goal uh a year ago to have 350 YouTube subscribers by the end of the year. And then so this was at this time last year, I had five. I had five subscribers on YouTube. I don't really know what what it all means, but I had five. Here I am now, December 30th, 2025, and we have 355. So we did grow 350 plus subscribers on YouTube. So we hit our goal. Amazing. Thank you to everyone who subscribed. I really do appreciate you finding finding me. Hopefully, you're enjoying the content. Hopefully, you're telling people about it as we continue to grow. Uh, the next target for us is 600 subscribers by April of 2020. Well, I don't know that April is gonna work, I would say I would like to double this a year from now. So 700 subscribers a year from now, but you know, let's see how fast we can get to 600, right? 600 is my next target, even though theoretically 700 is my goal for the year. Uh we published uh a podcast via Buzz Sprout, and it goes to all the different podcasting platforms. And in the last year, uh not only did I do 83 podcast episodes in the year, and when this started out last year, the goal was to do a video every other week. It was not to have a podcast, it was to do a video every other week, but it has grown. I have to year today, at this point in time, we've had 822 podcast downloads. That's incredible for me. I don't know if that's a big number, a little number. I'm not really sure, but I am so thankful that 822 times somebody has downloaded the sound of my voice and whatever we were talking about, me and my guests or me by myself sharing part of our journey 822 times. And amazing. And I'm really excited to see how that grows this coming year. The goal for this year is to put out is to use all my Buzz Sprout minutes a month. That's my goal, right? Like the with the package that I pay for through Buzz Sprout, I get a certain number of minutes every month. And my intention is to use up all those minutes every month because I don't want to waste a single cent, uh a single penny of my family's money, which essentially this is my family allowing me the opportunity to invest in this and this hobby and this creative passion and this chance to just put myself out there and see where it goes. And so how that shapes up is probably going to be about one time a week publishing a podcast of some flavor out to the world. But but that's my goal. My goal for the year is to not waste any of that money on Buzz Sprout, right? So leveraging all that. Looking at the amount of videos we've published over the year, we have accomplished, I mean, way more than I thought we were going to accomplish just on YouTube alone. We've just crossed over 825,000 views this year. So from December of 2024, having only five subscribers, to now having 355 subscribers, and we just crossed 825,000 views. Now, I know there are people that are out there getting that many views on one video, but for me, that seems like a pretty decent number, and I'm pretty proud of that. Oh, by the way, um we've published over 2200 short videos, and not all of them do good, and probably none of them are as good as they need to be or could be. I'll get better, but I don't have a lot of time to spend editing videos and making uh I I just I don't have a lot of time. I mean, I I have the time to do this, but please, you know, I'm a dad, I'm a husband, I'm a full-time high school teacher. This is a hundred percent a passion project that I'm working on the sides, and so I do my best to chop the videos up into clips and share them with the world. And we did that 2200 times this year. And I think I'm gonna keep doing that because I believe the short videos will eventually bring people to the longer videos and get to know more about my family, my journey, the sound of my voice, and then they'll also be able to find hopefully things that interest them or that they can relate to, and hopefully that will then bring them into the longer videos and we'll see where that goes, right? But 2200 short form videos and 1.7 million videos have been viewed over all of my socials, you know. So I just told you YouTube 825,000. Amazing. But when you add in TikTok, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram, we're over 1.7 million times someone's viewed my face or my the something that packaged words from the wise or wise leadership solutions. You know, my TikTok channel almost had, I mean, it has like 318 subscribers right now, which for me, and it gets a lot more, uh, gets a lot more comments, gets a lot more communication. So I wasn't expecting TikTok to kind of be the place that we were growing. And I'm actually sprinkling all of the content all those places just because I've invested in a clipping program or software that then allows me to schedule these videos in all these different locations. And it's almost easier to do it all at the same time than try to sit there and nitpick and figure out what's gonna go here and what's gonna go there. And nor do I have the financial supporting or the desire to hire somebody to manage all that for myself, right? I'm not afraid to live in the space of the leadership arena and let's just see where it goes, right? I'm hopeful that it's all gonna turn out hopefully great, right? Um, and it's okay if it doesn't. This is a hundred percent something I'm doing in my retirement, sharing with my story with the people that are listening as I'm trying to become uh the best version of myself as well as enjoying the journey and hopefully helping other people figure out life. Now, uh, you know, the data has been great, but a couple of things I've got to remind everyone, you know. Uh, number one, you know, I'm a husband. Me and my wife Erica have been together since 2001. We got married in 2002, and here it is, 2025, going strong. 2026 is gonna be a good year for me and Erica. We got we're actually planning a trip this summer over to Europe, just her and myself. So that's going to be a lot of fun, something to really look forward to. And I love I love planning things with my family uh because it gives me things to look forward to, gives them things to look forward to. I think I'm gonna take my son's camping over the spring break. I'm trying to get us up to Camp Blanding, which is an army base nearby here. But they've got some lodging there, they've got some fishing on base, and it's just a place to go spend some time with my boys. Hopefully, Erica will come. We'll see, but it's okay if she doesn't want to go. But then her and I will take a trip this summer, hopefully. That's very exciting because it will be the first time since having sons that just her and I have gotten to go somewhere, except for when we went to Newport, Rhode Island to the Command Master Chief uh school. That was the last time just her and myself went on a trip, and that was oh man, 2015. Right? So it's it has been 10 years, right, since we've gotten the chance to do that. Uh and I'm still a dad, I'm a dad, right? I got an 18-year-old son who's graduating high school this year, so that's a big deal. And he's getting ready to go to the fire college this summer. Then my younger son, Lincoln, is 11 years old, currently in middle school, sixth grade, and doing flag football right now and just being an amazing young man. And I'm I'm hope I'm still uh a prime leader with the primetime service at my local church, O'Callas Church of Hope, where every Sunday I'm leading the middle school ministry of sixth to eighth graders, working with Miss Katie Cummins and the other volunteers that come in. But this is something that I am the prime face of week to week. And I love getting a chance to work with these young people because again, this is separate from my high school role, but I do this so that my son Lincoln will have a space to go worship. That's also, I would say, relative to his age bracket. Um, still full-time teaching with the Vanguard High School Navy Junior ROTC. I got 180 students, standing strong. We've got a bunch of events planned after the year. Right before Christmas, we did our area manager's inspection, which is a big deal for us. Uh, my senior naval science instructor is gonna be retiring this year, but then I recruited my buddy uh Steve to come work with me at Vanguard High School. We served together on board the USS Ashland. He was my commanding officer and my executive officer on board Ashland. And now he's gonna come work with me at Vanguard as my senior naval science instructor. So that's looking great. And the program's looking strong. We actually have a drill competition. We've got one January 17th, we've got another one January 31st. So we've got a few more days of Christmas vacation, but then we're right back at it again next week and going out the gates hard at two competitions, and we're hosting the Orienteering Navy junior ROTC nationals in March. So literally the first weekend of the spring break, which is I think around March 15th time period, we are gonna be hosting some of the top orienteering teams throughout the country here in Gainesville, and Vanguard is going to be taking care of them. And I'm it's gonna be an honor, it's an honor to support my chief as he puts together this great event. So we just we have a lot of fun things coming and busy, right? Busy, but life is good, and I couldn't ask for anything better than this. This is exactly what I hope for uh in my retirement from active duty. You know, when I left the Navy, 25 years of service, I loved it, loved everything about it. But ladies and gentlemen, I've I'm serving, right? I'm serving every day. This is I tell people this is my 28th year of the with the Navy because being a high school Navy junior ROTC instructor, I'm representing for the United States Navy in my Marion County community, and I'm proud to do it. I love my Navy, I love my my Marine Corps, I love the sea services, and we get the opportunity to hopefully bring exposure to them and to the good things that are happening in the world, which there are a lot, right? I talked about the views already, no, don't need to beat that. I did I will talk some more about the book over the year, but the book was something that I just wanted to put together, put my thoughts down on paper because you know, when I have my students, especially here towards the end of the year, I'm all I always get to this space where I wonder, is this the last time that I will say something that really helps them or makes an impression? And I get a little nervous or I get I get a little anxious about that because I really want to help them prepare for their life going forward. And when I wrote the book, it was maybe they could take the book with them or they could buy the book in the future and they could always review it. Like this is like being a Master Chief's classroom. This is like hearing his voice in my head as I'm figuring out life. And so the book is done. Don't know that I'm gonna write another one. We'll see. I don't know. I looked at a book about transitions because one thing I've learned uh after being in the service and then being out here in the civilian sector is not a lot of people are prepared for transitions in life. They're not always focused or not always prepared for what's gonna come around the corner. And one of the one of the things the military life really did for my my wife and myself was helped us be very comfortable with transitions. You know, we were we were moving so often, you know, we lived, I mean, we we moved four times in five years at one point in time. Now that was excessive, that was a lot, and that was ultimately part of the decision making where I decided to retire because that was a lot, right? But we also survived all those moves intact, whole, and the the boys were good and the family was okay. If we didn't have the years of experience to be able to plan for those transitions, I think that could have really been catastrophic. And so for adults, especially young adults, I think learning how to best manage and handle those transitions, huge. Okay. Uh looking at the at the last year, it was great, but man, there were some areas that were not good. You know, there were some tough areas. Work, no problem. Uh family, going really good. I would say the areas that were the biggest challenge was professional when it comes to this leadership space, building the brand, the business, whatever you want to call it, and recognizing that I wasn't quite sure what this was going to be. Again, I started the year out in business with an organization that offers leadership certifications to people. And what I really decided was they were essentially just abusing federal government money and focusing their certifications on military members. I mean, I got my certification when I was retiring from the military. Uh, I got it because, hey, my master's degree was. Organizational leadership, why not get this leadership certification that's theoretically going to help certify what I've done in the military? And that's their that's their pitch, right? That's their pitch. But then they're like, oh, but we're Department of the Labor approved. What I learned when I got out of the military is people don't really value the federal government certification that much. So congratulations. You're approved by the Department of Labor. That just means you're essentially a government employee. And while I care about government employees, and while I'm proud to have been a military service member, it was never because of the Department of the Labor. It was really more about the selection of my peers, the selection of the military promotion paths that were offered to me, and of course the accomplishments that I had done. And what I struggled with when I was doing this leadership certification was they were certifying anybody and everybody that paid the money, right? There was no real litmus test as to have you done anything to be valued at a certain leadership level. It was essentially anybody could sign up for anything that they wanted, and then they just paid the money. A guy like me would teach them to answer the questions the right way to pass a conversational exam, and then they got a four-letter certification credential that meant they could lead some things. I struggled with that, right? I struggle with that. And then, oh, by the way, the joker that gets me to sign up for this certification partnership or whatever it was, they have you give them money. So I broke them off, not more than 10,000, but not far off that number of my family's money to theoretically go into business with these people where I'm gonna be an authorized trainer, but that they did nothing for you. They they do no value, right? They believe their value is all in their credential. But what they then do is tell you how you have to do the things they want that they want you to do. And honestly, not only did I struggle with the fact that I felt like they were taking advantage of government money, which, oh, I mean, are y'all watching the news? Like it's incredible how many people are out there taking advantage of our federal government. And I felt like I was contributing to that because that was their number one place of marketing was we're gonna market to the military members that are transitioning. Come use your credentialing opportunities online money. Truth be told, if if I had to pay for that certification out of my own pocket, I would have never done it. Truth be told, right? I had Navy Cool, so I used it to do their certification. But the truth, I mean, honestly, if I'd had to pay for my college education, I probably wouldn't have done that either. I mean, it took me, I mean, I got my master's degree in 2015. But if it had, if I'd had to pay for all of my education all the way up the food chain, I don't know that I would have done it because I just don't know that the value was really gonna be there for me. Now, having my education has been very beneficial in my life. That's true. I've enjoyed having the education. It's definitely shifted the way I look at things. It gives me more money in my paycheck now because where I currently work, they value the education. So you get a little higher of a stipend. That's true. Definitely contributed to my promotion in the military because not all of my peers were getting higher-level education degrees. Um, but if I'd had to pay for it all out of my pocket, I don't know that I would have done it. But but the Navy offered 100% tuition and assistance, and it was my intention every year to use all of the credits that were allotted to me and then save my GI bill for my boys, which is what I did. So, same thing with this leadership certification. If I'd had to pay for that out of my own pocket, probably wouldn't have gotten it. But because there was a credentialing opportunity through Navy Cool, I used that, right? And I love the conversations I had with my trainer. I had a my trainer was a phenomenal human being who I knew from active duty, right? We I was still on active duty when I got the credential. I he was a great trainer, good conversations, but there wasn't anything mind-blowing. And what's funny is once I got involved with the with this leadership certification team, uh, all my friends started reaching back to me, like, Gary, you know, do you really think there's value there? Do you really think this is a certification that is going to be a big deal? And I was trying my best to sell it to myself and to them that this was a a good business idea. Uh but then I just, I was struggling. You're just letting anybody qualify the certification, their credential. Okay. Well, it's all they got to do is seven one-on-one classes, and all of a sudden they're gonna be a trainer. Um, I don't know if that's true, but okay. Number two, uh, there was no litmus check as to their background as far as what have they done to successfully lead teams. It's just their subjectiveness gets to be what approves it. And then, oh, by the way, you're targeting the military members that you know are using federal government money to subsidize the brand. And then I'm out there doing my best to build something, and you're going to bother me on the weekends when I'm with my family to essentially pressure me to do your marketing for you. Ah, that was it. So, you know, I walked away from that within six months. Within six months of being a member of their organization team. I mean, almost up, almost, you know,$10,000 of money gone. Just throw it in the bucket. I couldn't help, I couldn't get away from them fast enough because I just realized this is not exactly not where I wanted to be. Just not. It's not. And I I my heart goes out to all the people that are trying to make it work. God bless them. I got some good friends that are still working with them. I hope they all make it make it out just fine. But I no longer believed in that brand or that team, right? So that was a huge lesson learned for me in 2025 uh coming into this year because I just I cost my family money big time. The other thing I cost my family money on was that I joined these different networking organizations because I was going into this leadership development space where I saw the value I could bring to corporate areas. And I know that to be true because what I did in the Navy was I would go onto different ships, so we would evaluate them for different things. We'd find all the things that were challenging, we'd recommend ways to resolve it and fix it, and then we would do just that. And life was always better on the outside of our process. The challenge here is dad, husband, full-time high school Navy junior OGC instructor, right? Just not having the time to really go out there and make that dog hunt. I talking to one of my mentors here in Ocala, he was like, Gary, how fast can I get you to quit working at the high school? And the answer was, not at all, right? This is a this is what I want to do as a retired service member now as an adult man person. I am all the way in, invested in my high school Navy junior ROTC leadership development, citizenship development program. So anything else that I do has got to come after, you know, my role and being a faith following and a faithful believer in Jesus Christ. Has to come after my being a good husband for my wife, after me being the best dad possible for my sons, after me being an instructor and a teacher for my kids and my program. So anything else I do has got to come after all those things. So I had to realize that there's just not the bandwidth for possibly fully investing in this business thing. But I had put money into all these little networking groups to get my name out there. That was 2025. 2026, I think I'm gonna reel those back. I think I'm gonna let those organizations go. Not because they're not valuable for people, they are for other people, just for me and for my team. That's probably not where we need to invest our money. I think we're gonna continue to invest in our little setup here, which is me in my, this is really my family movie room, but it's almost like my at-home Chiefs mess because it's where a lot of my Navy memorabilia has landed. I've got a little stand-up desk here with a laptop that cost me$150. And I've got my iPhone that I'm using uh to record, and then I got a microphone for Christmas that I'm using to hopefully help my voice sound better than maybe it was before. And this is what I'm gonna do, and we'll see where this goes, right? And so these were lessons that learned uh from 2025, and so it wasn't all perfect, right? And that's okay because blood in the blood in the in the in the I got blood in the game, right? I am not afraid to get out there and to try something out, and we'll see how it goes. Uh, you know, very, very proud of what we've done, very, very proud of where we're going, and I'm super, super excited to see what 2026 is gonna bring. Uh but yeah, there was some tough times. All right, so as I look into 2026, there are seven areas of focus that I would like to offer to anyone listening to the sound of my voice, listening to my show, uh a person who's looking to maybe focus on areas for themselves to improve this year, a parent who's looking to work on raising their teens, right? They're at their, you know, a 12, 13, 14-year-old, uh, a young person who's looking to improve themselves over the year. There are seven areas that I would recommend uh you could you look into this year. And I'm going to work on them as well, but I want to share them all with you today. Uh the number one is going to be remember, parents, remember leaders, remember big brothers, big sisters. Uh, the way you handle stress is going to directly affect your people on your team or your family. So if I'm a parent who's got a 14-year-old or 15-year-old, and if I want them to handle stress better or healthy, I've got to look at how how am I modeling stress management? What am I doing as a human being day for day to handle stress? You know, and when I think about my sons and how they're going to handle stress going out into the world, I've got to remember the example I set for them will always matter more than the words that I say. And so you've got to understand that the example you're setting matters. And if you're not happy with the way you're managing stress in your daily life, take that into consideration and do something about that, right? Look, learn my favorite ways to handle stress, number one, talking about it. I think being able to talk with people that care about me, and look, whether this is prayer, because I know God will always be there for you. If you need someone to talk to, ladies and gentlemen, hit your knees, pray to the Lord up above, talk to him about your issues, let him know what's stressing you, let him take some of that off of you. Let him take all that off of you. Actually, I mean, at the end of the day, you we are fighting from a place of victory, right? And God is always a great place to go to if you're struggling with something. Um, my wife, uh, so if you have a spouse, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend, someone you could talk to that will maybe listen and help you get unload some of that stress and give you their, if you want their perspective, maybe they can give you the perspective. One thing I like to do is I like to ask people if they would like to hear my opinion because sometimes they don't want to hear your opinion, and that's okay. Uh, but not just talking about the stress you're going through, I would ask for support. Sometimes people just need to know that you want support, or they need to know that people do support them. I remember going on board the USS George Washington, we were going through a big damage control inspection, and it was just so stressful. And I felt like we were just struggling uh to get the job done. And I had all of my damage control training team leaders in one room with me, and I basically just told them, look, you know, in the Chiefs Mass, we asked for help. That's one of the main things we do. We teach people to do their job to the best of their ability, but then when you cannot get the job done independently, come to the mess, ask for help, and allow people to support you. And I remember in that moment, I told all the people that were in my senior damage control training team, I was like, help me. I need your help. And they rallied and they supported me, and we got through the inspection, and it was one of the first times I can remember as an adult where I really professionally went to people and said, I need help. And I know people are afraid to ask for help because they're afraid it's gonna make them look weak or someone's gonna take away an opportunity or it's gonna look like they don't know what they're doing. Um, let that go. Let that go. Ask for help. Ask for help. It will be there for you, I promise. Another thing, work out, right? I I love getting on my bike, my Peloton, and getting getting my legs pumping. Get outside, go for a walk. Uh come do go do go outside, play catch with your kids. Uh ask your mom or dad to do something fun with you, right? Do something that's going to move your body so you can feel better about the time that you're spending through the day. I would also look at the way you're eating, look at your nutrition, look at how you're uh what you're putting in your in your in your body. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating enough protein? Think about that because we I know when I've been eating like crap, it's going to affect how I feel, right? I know. Especially here on the holiday times where there's tons of fun, crappy things to eat, right? You just have to think about that. A journal, right? If you're a person who likes to write things, I'm not a person that likes to write a lot per se. This is essentially my way to journal right now. This is, I hope maybe someday my great-great-great-grandkids will find these videos and they'll get a chance to know a little bit more about who I am, right? But find a way to possibly say the things or get the things out of your mind, out of your head that are really troubling you, and then figure out what's really going on, why is it really bothering you? Are they worth worrying about? If not, let them go. And if there are a concern, get the help you need and start to go to work. Start to go to work, right? Just complaining about things to complain about them as pointless. Um, go to work. Go ahead and figure out what you're gonna do. And so, but for parents, for people that are having followers, or for people that are taking care of other folks in their world, just remember the example you're setting when it comes to stress will be one of the most important examples you will provide for those people. So take it serious and take care of yourself. Next up, uh, the second one is have good boundaries. Have good boundaries, especially when it comes to leadership. I struggle with this because I am so willing to give so much of me to my team, right? I am so willing to give so much of me to my team. When I would get a new boss, I would ask the boss, one of the first questions I would ask is, What do you need for me for you to accomplish your mission or your job? And I was prepared to say yes to almost everything they were going to ask for, right? And then all I was gonna ask for in return was complete trust and support as I worked my best to support them. But I go into the leadership space daily, ready to give 155% of myself, and that can be exhausting, right? And so people need to understand what are their boundaries. I have a part of my book where I talk about your lines in the sand and knowing what you're not gonna be willing to cross, knowing where people are not gonna be allowed to push you to, understanding you're only gonna allow people to treat you a certain way, and you're not going to allow it to go another way. And if it does go away that's contrary to your to your boundary system, there's consequences for that, right? And so, step one, you must know your boundaries. It is no one else's responsibility to figure out your boundaries. That's your job, and you must clearly communicate that to people. If you're not doing that, it's really no one else's fault. Now, I'm not saying go around bumper cars to people and just start bumping into everyone's boundaries and trying to figure out what you can do to possibly push the ball as far as you want into their court. I'm just saying if you're a person that has boundaries, clearly communicate them. And if you're not clearly communicating those boundaries with anybody, maybe look at that. Right? Maybe look at that because there's going to be people that will that will use you, that will take advantage of you, that will allow you to do way more than they have to do or that you needed to do because they're they they're they're strong already with what they're willing to do. And I think everybody in the world has a responsibility to themselves to take care of themselves personally, physically, mentally, professionally, all the above. Again, state your boundaries clearly, use empathy. It's okay for people to not like your boundary, doesn't mean you have to agree with them. I get it. You don't like the fact that I don't want to have a drill practice five days a week. Sucks, but I'm not going to do that because I need time off after work to go do things, right? Now, I would love to have it three to four times a week because I think we need it and I'd be willing to go there, right? So there's a meet in the middle. Um, and that's just an example. Always also respect other people's boundaries and leaders help people recognize their need for boundaries. If you're a if you're a leader, a parent, brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, manager at work, whatever it is, if your people are failing and having good boundaries, and you can see that they're not meeting the expectations of the organization, of themselves, of you, help them establish boundaries that will protect them from not meeting the objectives. That's part of mentorship. That's parting of us guiding them towards finding success in the future, teaching them how to have healthy boundaries. And oh, by the way, are we modeling how to have healthy boundaries? I will continue to work on that because I my wife is always on me about having healthy boundaries. She has the best boundaries in the world I've ever seen. And she does a very good job communicating them. And some people just have that in their DNA, and other people have to work harder at it. Okay, third thing. Third thing for the year. Get out there and fail. Get out there and fail. Get out there and freaking don't win. Try hard. You're not always going to win. But people that are afraid to get out there and fail are never going to win because you miss every shot you don't take. Understand that failing does not make you a failure. It just means you went out there, you tried, and something didn't go the way you wanted it to go. Learn from it, gain wisdom and experience from it. And then ask yourself, how bad do you really want it? And if it's really bad, then get back out there and go again. Right? And understand that I don't I don't believe in the whole safe space concept. I just sounds good, right? It sounds good, but I just don't think that's reality. And we watch a lot of people out there in the world on the news take advantage of people that allow for those kinds of thoughts to happen. So you more while you're trying to play it safe, someone's probably taking advantage of you, right? Just being blunt. But understanding that there has got to be space to operate, right? I need space to operate, to try things out, and to be willing to fail or not have it work the first time. Oh, by the way, it's not a fail just because it doesn't work the first time. That's the process, right? That's the process. So just get back up, dust yourself off, get your team together, figure out what went right, what went wrong, learn from it, adapt and you know, shoot, move, communicate, man. Adapt and improve and overcome and keep moving. Uh, a couple of things here. Number one, you've got to remember you've got to have people on your team. You're no one's in this life alone. And if you feel that way, I'm sorry. Figure that out. Because you're not. I guarantee you're not alone. Man, just you've got to look, but you maybe you don't always value the people that you have, but you need to look at that, right? You need to look at that. Just because you're they're not telling you what you want to hear all the time doesn't mean they're bad. Just because they're trying to hold you to standards you maybe you don't want to hold yourself to doesn't mean they're bad. Maybe you should ask yourself, what's the real problem? Right? My sons don't always like everything my wife and I have to say, but guess what? No one's going to love and care for them more in this world than the two of us. Period. Right? And so you have to ask yourself, who are the people that are really on your team? And if you've lost people from your team, is that a consequence of decisions you've made? And if so, fix that. Fix that, right? Because you've got to have some people. Now, I can count all of my friends, like my close, close friends on one hand, right? I don't have a whole toolbox of best buddies laying around. I've got a lot of people that I that I care about. I've got a lot of people that depend on me, but I don't keep a lot of people that I'm going to talk about all of my fears, all of my concerns. But I've got enough for one hand. And I know who I can go to to talk through things, especially when I'm struggling. And so I want you to understand uh you're get out there and fail. Get out there and try. And when you win, share, share the gratitude, share the outcome, share, share the victory because you did not do it by yourself. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. One of my favorite philosophies from the military that I still use to this time to this day is plan, brief, execute, and debrief. Right? I I use this to this day, and that is strategically make the plan for whatever it is you're going to do. Tell the people that it matter to you that are a part of your team what you need to do and how they're going to play a role, and how everybody can help in this mission or in this objective, right? Get to work, execute the dang thing, do what you say you're going to do, say what you're going to do, do what you say you're going to do, and then be prepared for the enemy to have a vote and to send challenges your way. And then when it's all said and done, come together and debrief it, right? Talk about what went according to plan. What were the things you didn't see come in? What were the areas you could have improved it? What were the things you'd like to do better if you get to do this again? Um and and when you do all that, take those lessons learned, capture them, and help funnel them into the future plans, right? Plan, brief, execute, debrief. Um when I look back, you know, one of the things we use in the JRTC program, and when you do the debrief, is what, so what, now what? Right? So what happened? What was the thing that did not go according to plan, right? So what? What what what so now what are we going to do because that thing happened? And then now what is how do we move forward past this challenge? Just something to think about as you move on throughout this next year, 2026. Next one for me. Number four. Ask better questions. Try to be involved with the people in your life and actually communicate with them and care what they have to say. We're also focused on our own individual goals, on our own priorities. Unfortunately, we're humans and we tend to be selfish. And I would submit to you if you do not try to have healthy conversations with people in your life, you're going to probably lose them. This is one of the things I talked to my son about. My wife and I have these concerns. Ask better questions and listen for hopefully better answers and inspire that your people to want to talk to you. Whether you are a manager, a leader, really my mom's and my dads, my parents, you know, raising teenagers is tough because y'all, and y'all know, for my teens that are listening, for my students that are listening, y'all know you don't tell your parents everything. Y'all know you don't come through the door and just tell them everything about your day because you're worried they're gonna give you criticism, or you're worried they're gonna give you more work than you already have on your plate, or you're worried that the feedback is not gonna be what you want to hear, or they're gonna take away an opportunity. But the reality is they just want to be involved in your life and they want to know how you're doing. But we got to get past these surface questions and get more into look me in the eyes, what's going on, and don't just tell me nothing or it's fine, right? So ask better questions and be curious over just giving people lectures. You know, I one of the things that I've learned throughout my life is that I do not have all the answers. And sometimes instead of always telling people what I would do, I just let them tell me what they think. I hear what they're working on, and I'm allowed, and then they I ask them for their plans going forward. And ultimately, it does not have to be my way. So if it sounds like what they're planning is going to work and it's not illegal, it's not unsafe, and it's not immoral, God bless, good luck, right? Now, if you would like my feedback, I can offer it to you. If you like my opinion, I can give it to you. But I think your pet your plan is gonna work. Is it maybe the way, is it, is it the way I would do it? Probably, probably, maybe not, right? But who cares? Sometimes people gotta go through their own go-through, right? So have better questions. One thing that I would always recommend is that you focus on areas that that tend to matter for the long term. So family, right? How's everything going with your brothers, your sisters, your mom, your dad? Uh, how how are you doing, right? How are your friends? Right? How are you are you speaking with your friends? Are you guys having good conversations? Do you have friends? That's always a fear for parents, wondering if our kids have a good friend that are healthy. Are are they having fun? Is life fun? God, you know, life should be fun. We only get so many years on this earth. We tomorrow is not guaranteed. So if you're not having fun living your life, I would like you to try harder. I would like you to try harder. And I'm not saying you should just lay on your bed every day and just watch Netflix. I'm just, that that's not fun. That's that's lazy, right? Now, if you've worked your butt off because you've been out there producing results, and now you get some downtime to rest, that's different, right? And and make sure you understand what those differences are. Um, how is school? How is work? You know, what is the data showing us? What do your grades look like? What does your homework grades look like? Uh I just really think we need to ask better questions. Um I love using data, especially for my sons. I can look at their grades, I can look at the emails from the teacher, I can communicate with the teachers, which I do, and I think it's important that parents do that. And I'm not saying only when you're you're worried that your child's not getting treated a certain way or not, because typically, uh again, there's three sides to every story, right? There's your child being upset because something happened that they're angry about. There's the teacher possibly being frustrated or in a position where they're where the chat the student has done less than best, and there's a challenge there. And then somewhere in the middle is the truth, right? And for parents, uh, a lot of times we want to just jump in there and defend our kid. And I get it, trust me, I'm the same way for my sons. But I also want to give everything the benefit of the doubt. Because I'm just trying to understand what's going on and are we doing the right thing. The other thing I will tell you, and this is for my teens listening to me, understand this. If you are not paying for that cell phone, it's not your cell phone. Right? I tell this to my son, that cell phone is my cell phone. I pay the bills on that cell phone. So if at any point in time I want to take that phone, I want to open it up, and I want to look at any and everything on that phone, that is 100% my right to do it. And the minute you try to be defensive or stop me from doing that, we might have a problem.

unknown: 51:12

Right?

Gary Wise : 51:13

And I actually got my younger son his first cell phone this year for Christmas. He has not had one up until this point. And he had to learn this lesson the other day because, and him and his friends were just messaging people, the letters like L-O-L over and over and over again, like like big block. So I think he was just embarrassed that that's what they were doing, but I don't care. But when he tried to take move the phone away from me, then nope, that's what he had to learn. That is my phone, that's me and your mom's phone, and we will look at that whenever and however we would like to look at it. And that's just how it's going to go. And if again, for my young people, if you're doing something on your phone that you're not proud of, that's a concern, right? And I trust me, I get it, I'm not perfect. God knows I made my mistakes as a teenager, as a young person, as a 48-year-old, we all make mistakes. But if you have be thankful that you have a parent that loves you so much that they're willing to get you possibly upset at them because they're trying to take care of you. That's huge. At some point in your life, you may not have those people around. And and you may you may miss that, right? Um, at some point, you may no longer have someone that's giving you that feedback or that criticism. And I hope you've learned the lessons throughout your life so as to best protect yourself and prepare for the future. For my parents that are listening, that have these teenagers. Hey, intrusive leadership, get in there. I I love them. I hope you can trust them. I do, but ladies and gentlemen, we all know that kids are gonna do kids' stuff. And unfortunately, with these cell phones, it can get out of the box real quick, and they need to understand it's not just an entertainment tool, but it's also a communication tool, but it can also change their lives. You know, I had I remember being in the in the service, I'd have young sailors that had just changed their whole life because they'd taken a picture of a part of their body and sent it to somebody that they didn't really know who it was, and they'd be getting scammed, blackmailed, people trying to take advantage of them. And I just remember thinking when I was in the military, like, how why would you do this? I had to learn, don't judge, don't judge, because God only knows what I would have done when I was a young person if I'd had a cell phone. And then I get out of the military and I come here to the civilian sector, and I'm working now in the high schools, and oh but yeah, it could happen to unfortunately anybody with a phone. And so for my parents that are listening, be involved, be available, monitor what the kids are watching. And for the for the kids, trust your mom and dad love you, and they're just looking out for you and be thankful you have them, right? Trust but verify. And remember, ultimately, I love you. I love you way more than a friend, right? I love you way more than a friend. Your parents, your family is way more than a friend. Uh, and even friends that really love you, they will tell you the truth, even if you don't want to hear it. So hopefully you've got friends that'll also tell you maybe you shouldn't have those kinds of conversations. Maybe you shouldn't have those kinds of inappropriate things happening on your cell phone because it's not gonna go uh somewhere productive in the long run. Right? And you know what? If it goes sideways on you, if it doesn't go good, remember what I said previously: space to fail, right? Go talk to mom or dad, auntie, uncles, grandma, grandpas, best friends, whoever you got to talk to, pray to God, get right, and then let's not keep making the same mistakes over and over again, right? Because if we come out of it unscathed, then it's not the end of the world. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. You can watch the news every day of people that are changing their lives uh horribly. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. Uh number five, have routines. Have routines. What do you do in the morning? What do you do during school? What do you do after school? And what do you do in the evening? Have routines that you can stick to, that you can be consistent with, and that will help you find success in the future, whether it's extracurricular activities, whether it's dinner with a family, whether it's you know, studying, have routines and do not be afraid to incorporate routines into your life. I have found it within the chaos of the world, routines will give you the strength and the peace of mind to work through the day, right? Have routines. Number six, ownership. I need you to take ownership of your life. I need you to take ownership of your life. I need you to recommend recognize when something is not productive for you, let the money go, walk away. Right? If you don't believe in something, take ownership for the responsibility of making the move. You cannot control what everybody in this world is gonna say to you. You can't only control how you're going to respond. If I am as a parent, as a leader, as an older brother, as a sister, any of those things, I want to inspire the people in my family to also take ownership. I want my kids to take ownership for managing their things day to day, their homework, their studies, their bedroom, their chores, whatever it is. Now, it's my responsibility you get all those things done, but I am going to give you uh the responsibility to get it done, but I'm gonna share that ultimately. I'm gonna give you the authority to get it done because you have the ability to do all of those things without me being there. And I'm gonna hold you accountable for it, right? I'm going to hold you accountable for it. Now, if my son comes back with a report card of straight F's, evidently he's either not taking it serious or he is not taking ownership for his role in going to get an education. That's a problem. And you need to figure out why your young person is not taking ownership for their life. You know, it doesn't get any easier. So you've got to learn at a young age to take ownership of your daily actions, take ownership for how much water you're drinking, take ownership for the kind of food that you're eating. You know, if you only got so much food in the refrigerator, all right, check. Talk to mom or dad and make sure you're doing the best that you can to take ownership of your day-to-day. Maybe they can answer some questions for you. Maybe there's food in the refrigerator, you just don't like it. Guess what? That's life, right? You don't have to always get the things you like. Take ownership. And someday when you grow up and you get the opportunity to live your life, you can make the choices you want to make. But until then, you've got to play the hand that you are dealt. For my adults in the room, take ownership from your day-to-day. I watch people every day blame the world for their lack of achieving their goals. I think that's just a zero-sum game. I don't think that's the way to go, right? Take ownership, take accountability, and figure out the way going forward. Um, one of my favorite things to do is to let my sons struggle a little bit, right? It's not my job to do everything for you. That's just not how it's going to work. But when you go up against challenges and you need help, and and I've I'm involved, I'm intrusive, I'm a leader that wants to be there and help them with things. Instead of doing it for them, hand them the tools so they can do the work. Or if you're going to do the work for them, get them with you side by side and show them how it's done. Now, some things, I I get it. It's just easier to do it yourself to do it for them. I do, I get it, but at some point you've got to give them the chance to do the work and then to celebrate when the job is done. And I'm not saying everything deserves a birthday party. I'm not saying everything deserves A freaking trip to the mall to go buy some expensive shoes. But believe it or not, one of the most important things you can do is just tell somebody, good job, man. You know, I learned the power of social media from my cadets and from my sailors. Everybody likes, you know, ribbons and all that. But even more than that, they just appreciated a picture and a post that says, Congratulations to this person for doing something outstanding. They love that recognition and celebrate that with them. All right, last thing for this one today is I believe we need to communicate our belief in our people, our belief in our team, our belief in ourselves, right? Leading yourself is the most important leadership challenge of your life. You must be able to lead yourself through discipline, accountability, inspiration. You have got to be able to do this for yourself before you can do it for anyone else. But then I also believe that as we have these important relationships, we've got to be able to communicate our beliefs for them, you know, our love for them. You know, I love telling the people in my world that I care for them. I love them. I tell that to them as much as I can, to my sons, to my wife, to myself. Do you love yourself? Are you able to tell yourself uh that you love you? That's it's a tough one, right? Sometimes you you look in the mirror, you don't always feel like saying, Man, you're looking your best.

unknown: 1:01:34

Right?

Gary Wise : 1:01:35

But I try to work on that. We will be so hard on ourselves, and then, oh, by the way, we'll take that same energy and unfortunately pay it on to other people. My advice is tell people you love them for the ones you love them. Tell people you trust them. You know, I got a teenager that's about to graduate high school. He needs to know that I trust him. I trust him that he can do the things that he needs to do, that he's gonna continue to get good grades, that he's gonna find success whatever he does after high school, that he's going to do the things that he needs to do to win. And I trust him. My only hope is that in the areas that he struggles, he comes and asks for help. Allow me and your mom to help you, and brother, you're going to you're going to find success. And if one thing doesn't work, we will keep on going until we figure it out. But we are a team and they need to know that you trust them. The hardest part is when people break our trust. You know, I had a student that got in trouble before we went to this winter break for unfortunately selling things he's not supposed to be selling at school. And this is the second time in a row getting into this kind of trouble last year and this year. I am sure his family is having a lot of trust conversations. And if and when I see this person at the after the school year starts again, if he comes back to my class, we're going to have to have that same trust conversation because trust has been broken. And I expect you to operate at a certain level of trust if you're going to be in my program or be around me, period. Because people I don't trust, I don't give them that much of my time. And allow people to rebuild trust. It takes time. It takes time. But you know what? It's not your job to hold something against somebody forever, right? It's God's job to figure all that out. It takes a lot more uh energy to be upset with somebody or to be hostile towards somebody or to hold something against somebody than it does to just say, hey, man, I forgive you, but I'm gonna put healthy boundaries around this so that way I don't put you in a position where you can hurt me. But I want you to win and I want you to be successful, and I want you to not do that again because I care about your entire family and I know they're all hurt by your actions. And if you can figure this out and earn back their trust, I hope you're going to be a very successful human being for the rest of your life, right? Another thing is belief. I believe in you. You can believe in me. I believe in the educational process, I believe in the school that we're a part of, I believe in the team that we're on, I believe in the actions you're doing every day are gonna bring to you the success you're looking for. I believe in my God, my Lord, my Savior Jesus Christ. And I believe that if I share this message with you, you can have the same belief system, and that will help you throughout the rest of your life. Like have a belief system that's real and allow yourself to have faith. Allow yourself to have faith in each other, in the Lord above, and just to remind everyone that you're there for them, win or lose. Remember earlier I said, get out there and fail. Just because you fail doesn't mean you lose the people lose the people that are near you. And if you do lose somebody, maybe they weren't the right ones, right? Okay, so recapping real quick, I want you to think about how you're modeling stress this year. I want you to look at your boundaries, know them, state them, respect other people's boundaries. I want you to get out there and fail. I want you to ask better questions, ask better questions of yourself, look for real answers. Don't just look for surface conversations. Try to get out there and dig a little deeper. Establish routines, have routines, work out, eat right, your morning routine, your evening routine, have strong routines and let the routines improve, right? Improve throughout the year. Take ownership of your life, people. I love you, take ownership. I want you to have a life that you're so proud of that you can show everyone this is what I'm doing. And I I love sharing that with everyone because you're owning it. That example will be so powerful for everybody in your circle and believe you can do it. You've got to be able to believe you can do it. You know, purpose without action is just a dream. Uh, you've got to take action on the things you want to do in this life. Take the data, use it to give you better insights, and don't be afraid to work hard. Um, thank you very much for listening to the sound of my voice, for joining Words from the Wise. We're closing out 2025 today. This will probably come out later on tonight. We're moving into 2026. Hopefully, you're enjoying the content. Hopefully, you're enjoying the things that I'm looking at. If you have some insights or if you have some ideas of things you want me to talk about, hit me up. I see all the comments, I read all the messages. I really do appreciate everyone that's taking this journey with us. Uh happy new year, Merry Christmas. Time has come, time has gone. Coming up soon is going to be Easter. And we're all going to be very thankful because our Lord and Savior was risen, has risen from the dead and saved all of us. And so we all get the opportunity to hopefully uh repent of our sins and to change our lives for the better and to understand that it's okay if we make a bad decision tomorrow. We can get right. We can get right. I thank you all for everything, and I hope to talk to y'all soon. All right, we'll talk to you later. Bye.