Smart Girl
Deep dives about the major themes found in SMART GIRL: A FIRST-GEN ORIGIN STORY feat. Samantha Pinto and the author, La'Tonya Rease Miles.
Smart Girl
All The Smart Girl Feels: Doing Cancer While Doing A Book Tour
It all started with a routine self-exam.
In this episode, LT and Sam get specific in all the ways search results rarely do. We talk costs in plain numbers, coordination with surgeons and oncologists, and the difference it makes when a Black nurse names what darker skin may experience and pushes a prescription through before travel. Along the way, a small community forms in the clinic: therapists who notice the sneakers, remember your name, and walk you down the hall.
We also unlearn the media script that equates “real cancer” with chemo and visible decline. LT names cancer imposter syndrome, the pressure to fit a narrative, and the relief of replacing it with truth: early is still cancer. The final note is an anthem: keep writing, keep traveling, keep cheering the WNBA, keep choosing the life you built. It’s far from over.
If this conversation helps you or someone you love, share it with a friend, follow the show, and leave a rating or review—your support helps more listeners find honest, practical stories like this one.
https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-awareness-month/
https://www.pinterest.com/firstgenation/breast-cancer-diagnosis/
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/123027172
Hi friends, we're back with what I feel like is a very special episode for those who have grown up in the 80s of early 90s. It wouldn't be Gen X if we didn't have to be. If we didn't say it was a very special episode of Smart Girl. Um, Smart Girl is a podcast that's born out of um the excellent memoir that Latanya Reese Miles wrote that is about her pathway to and through higher ed as a first-generation college student. Uh, and uh my own, Samantha Pinto's deep investment in higher ed access for first-gen and underrepresented students. And we are here today doing the very special episode, the cancer episode. The cancer episode, exactly all the smart girl feels, I'm calling it, doing cancer while doing your book tour. And we're here with LT who's gonna tell us about this journey. You did post about it, but can you start us off with how did tell us about finding out that you had cancer? Yeah, first of all, that was some bullshit, right?
LT:Um yeah, yeah, it was an oh, so I will date this. It was so first of all, the book was published in February, late February actually, of this year, 2025. And um April is really where things started to kick off. I I had spoken at a couple different schools, maybe even a library, and I was headed to the East Coast, I believe. Um, so Sam, listen, I am one of those, I'm one of those women who is like faithful about checking my breasts for lumps every month. I do it the 17th of every month because that is my birthday. And so April 17th, I did my monthly check and I was like, oh shit, I felt something. So I don't know about you, Sam, but like oftentimes with women, they don't tell you what to check. Like, you're like, well, what's it supposed to feel like, right?
Sam:Well, what was it supposed to feel like a lot of weird things? That's right. They are giant lungs, they're not. Yeah, exactly, right?
LT:Um, but this time it was just pretty unmistakable that I was feeling something that isn't normally there. And I just remember, I just remember like this cold, this coldness coming over me. Cause I was like, oh shit, something is there. And I told my husband, Rob, I was like, look, I feel something. I'm gonna go to the doctor to have this checked, and you know, it's probably nothing. Stats tell you most of the time, it's nothing, right? Um, so it was only a matter maybe it was I actually got into Kaiser pretty quickly, to be honest. Um, and it was really weird. Went to my gynecologist who basically felt my breast to confirm, like, oh yeah, there's something there. But in the same, I was about to say same episode, in the same in the same appointment.
Sam:It's a journey and very special episodes. As we know from from Jesse Spano's addiction to speed, it happens quickly. Yeah, sorry. Sorry.
LT:At the same um appointment, I went from my gynecologist and doing the um the mammogram, you know, where you they basically squeeze your boob and whatnot, clearly designed not by a woman. It's so crazy. It's insane. It's all geometric, it like angles. Oh my god, it's terrible. Yeah. From there, and then they saw something, they did see something, and then right from there, I went to um to a biopsy. So I will tell you, friend, that was really difficult. Uh it it was all happening so fast. I didn't know it it was just like bam, bam, bam. They like um at the location where they saw something, like ended up cutting like cutting it open, like slicing it open and pull and it was pretty painful to be honest. But I could hear them saying like they saw the lump, but then I could hear the um the radiation technologist say there was something else. And f not funny enough, what ended up happening is that the lump that I felt actually was not cancer. It was a fibroid tumor. However, they discovered cancer right next to it um when by going to that ultrasound and a b um so shout out to that radiation therapist who who saw something there. So that's how I found out.
Sam:That's so intense. It was very intense. Um my next question builds on this, right? But you're in the middle, you had just published your book, you're in the middle of all of these events. Um what was it like finding out in the middle of your book tour? And how did it change those those events, the way you talk about it, and how you thought about your book?
LT:Oh I will confess this is confession time. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam:It wouldn't be, you know, yeah, the 90s.
LT:Yeah, it wouldn't be the street. Yeah. So two, I think there's two immediate thoughts. One was like, oh my god, is this why I wrote the book? Because it's like a last will and testament, right? Am I going to die? Right. And it was just, I just remember getting the phone call. I would have gotten a phone call confirming cancer in May. And I remember just sitting, I was going to my backyard and just sitting outside. I literally needed to touch grass at that moment. Um, so I sat in the backyard. I just did nothing. I had my dog with me. And then then my immediate thought went to my daughter, Zoe, because I thought, I was like, oh my gosh, this is when I think about legacy and passing things down, this is not what I what I want to pass down to my daughter. And so that was those are my first two thoughts. Um, I just and I also just didn't know what it meant. Like you you don't learn everything at once. You learn, okay, you have cancer, you don't know what stage, you don't know anything. So there's I I did one thing that was helpful, I'll probably say this many times, shout out to Kaiser. I had amazing health care, but it I could see after a day or so in my um Kaiser portal the size of the cancer mass, and I saw that it was less than a centimeter, so that gave me hope. I was like, okay, so it's early. Right? I don't want to, it was so small that that was a really, really good sign. Um and then right after that, so that was May, I think I went to DC. I went to DC right after that. And so I didn't, you know, this was not widely known information. Um and I mean it that actually was helpful just in terms of like keeping my mind off of things. But then, but it was the nighttime, it was when I wasn't with folks that my mind was just constantly were like just worrying with thoughts. Um, I don't think you know this. I I I I still have it. I developed an eye twitch. Um I still got it. And I talked to a doctor about it. She was like, that's just stress, you know, there's there wasn't anything biological wrong with me. But at a certain point, I felt like, oh my god, is my whole body filled with cancer? Right? I saw something in my scalp. I was like, oh my god, do I have skin cancer? I that that was the early stages, that's what I was going through.
Sam:Yeah, I mean, such anxiety. Um, and at the same time talking about this book and your future and legacies, and I know you had just started my tribe and you know left your your salary job, right? And so it was an intense, intense time in all kinds of ways. Um and so what you were talking about, about the way that you find out, but you don't know what it means, um brings us to one of the biggest things that I think we talked about right away, right? All the things we don't know about cancer. Um and we here at the podcast, right, talk a lot and in the first gen support community talk a lot about the hidden curriculum, right? Which is the way that there are all of these unspoken rules of a game that you're supposed to just know, right? Because your parents went to college because everyone around you did. Um, and you don't, right? And the way that college uh is often or higher ed is often organized around the idea that you already know these rules or these rules are are easy to glean. Um, and so um we're using that language here to talk about um the hidden curriculum of cancer. Um, what was your route through doctors and through care and treatment? I know the people want to know, as you have said, that's what folks want to hear about, um, that you didn't know about and that you think that we should know about and demystify about cancer, including this lag time where you find out you have it, but you don't know stage, you don't know treatment, you don't know what that means. So of course you develop an eye twitch, right? Because you have you you don't even know what the what the options are, right?
LT:Yeah, yeah, step by step. Yeah, whoa. Um, so it was incredibly helpful to connect with women and and in this case two women of color who also had breast cancer. So um the first of them is Alejandra Campover Verde, who I've mentioned before on this podcast, just my first gen sister, author of the book First Gen. Um, and she's pretty, she has been open about breast cancer in her family. So she was one of the first people I reached out to just for like moral and emotional support. She was so amazing. I don't, I wish I'd saved her voice messages, but she like the first thing she told me is that you're gonna be okay. This is not a death sentence. Like it was just so helpful to hear that and to know that she had gone through something similar. She had gone through the surgeries, like was so incredible. And then another person was Polana Tiller, man. So Polana's a fellow T C Williams grad. Um, we reconnected because of Smart Girl, actually. Um, and I just I don't know what made me say something to her about it because I was not telling a lot of people outside of my um like family circle. Um, but I did feel comfortable sharing with her that I had this diagnosis, and she told me she's a two-time breast cancer survivor and in fact was a mentor to other um women with breast cancer, and she was just so spot on in terms of what I could expect w um physically, emotionally, telling me really early on, like um, number one, you don't I don't have to tell everyone. I mean, I knew that, but just it's helpful to hear, like, yeah, exactly. Like you're in I'm in control of my story and my narrative. Um having assigning someone to my mom, so to speak, so so because my mom was like grieving, but I could not handle my mom's grief and my own emotions. Right, right. So having LaShawn, Sean from the book, um, be like the go-to person was very, very helpful. But I had to like figure out how the fuck do you pay for this? Like what I'm I know that I'm gonna need surgery, I know I'm gonna uh, you know, I didn't even know what else. I know uh I hear about radiation, do I need chemo? So I did take it upon myself at a certain point to just go to the Kaiser Benefits Office, I think is what it's called, and sat down like, hey, what could I expect? And they were so they were so so nice and assuring. And I will tell you, I had amazing health care. People want to know details. My surgery was three we paid $300 out of pocket, Sam, um, each for I had two surgeries, $300 each, and then we'll talk about radi uh I'll hold off. I'll I'll talk about radiation, but it wasn't it wasn't like tens or thousands of dollars, I dollars. I would say as a whole, as a whole for everything, about a thousand dollars, which hey, that's right.
Sam:That's well for the US and healthcare, that's amazing. Exactly. This is not Canadian money. They charge me over four thousand dollars to give birth to my kids, exactly, and I have insurance, right? Right? Like I have Blue Cross, Blue Shield. So, like, shout out to Managed Care, that's right, um, and Kaiser, right? Um uh, which I miss uh in many ways. Um, but I'm also noting like you're talking about mentorship. Like I love that you talked about mentorship, and of course, this is evidenced in the cancer scenario. Often people now have sort of chemo buddies, someone who's assigned that has been through it to talk to them because they figured out that that's actually helps, right, with treatment. Um, but like just seeing all these parallels, talking about doing research and talking about reaching out, right, for help and how helpful they were. So I'm noticing all of those things that of course are resonant across uh what we usually talk about and your experience. Um, and you also said, um, and and this gets us a little bit into the next um question. Um you you you talked about, okay, I'll explain radiation later, right? Which is there are all these there are all these strips of cancer out there in the media, in the world, in our everyday lives, right? In the news. Um I I I want you to tell us a little bit more about some of those scripts you've had and how this experience conformed to or upended them. And also, like, how has it changed the way that you watch TV and news, right? And we talk about this a lot from the first gen experience. You've got the flash behind you, right? The way that you, but you do you watch things and you're always saying killmonger is first gen. Yeah, right. It's so important to talk about, right? Um, it is getting that first gen narrative and being able to look at things through that lens changes the way that we watch things. Um, how has this experience changed the way that that you're that you're watching things, consuming media, being an active audience? Um, and I know you've talked about this with others too. And I know that that in particular radiation was one of those spaces for you because it's this kind of liminal space of like a lot of people get radiation, but usually like chemo is what people talk about, and that's the experience. And it really feels like radiation is one of those like unknown scripts, right? Hidden curricular scripts.
LT:Yeah, definitely. So I think I don't think I'm any different than most people when we think of cancer, especially breast cancer or any kind of cancer, honestly. We immediately go to like no bald, no hair, frail, and then probably what we might think is chemo, right? That's what's in the movies, that's very dramatic, right? Um, but I would argue that radiation is like the Thanksgiving of cancer treatment, right? Like no one's talking about radiation. It's not sexy, it's not dram it can be dramatic, but not really, right? Like if you're making a TV show or a movie having like the the radiation treatment, so hold on, let me let me back up. So I had two surgeries. I had one surgery, the surgery to remove the lump, um, and then I had to have like a follow-up one, and then radiation started after that because when they went in to um remove the the lump, they also removed lymph nodes, and it was like tiny, tiny traces, really tiny traces of cancer. But they want to be very my my doctors were very thorough. So they wanted radiation on the breast, and the point of this is to kill any cells and also prevent them from coming back, and they wanted the radiation to hit where the lymph nodes are. Well, I didn't know shit about radiation, and one of the things that Polana told me to anticipate is that you go every day, and so honestly, I like I think some people uh you can have like five treatments, I end up having 16 treatments, you could have like 33 treatments, but they're not very long, they're like 10, 15 minutes, right? That's what I'm saying. Like, oh, if you're creating a TV show, like how do you show that, right? Yeah, not that interesting. But what but what but it was for me, but it's right. It really was because if you have the like you go in at the same time and there are people who work there and they work a shift. And if you're there at eight o'clock and you and their shift is from eight to four, you're gonna see the same people all the time. And the folks I was um let me lift, let me lift up the South San Francisco Cancer Treatment Center, South City. Um they just you could tell they put a lot of thought. It felt like in some ways, it's so gonna feel so weird to say, but it felt like going to a spa. Um, it was plants everywhere, it smelled good. People called you by your first name if you wanted them to. They walked you everywhere, they never let me walk by myself anywhere. Um, so whether I was going to the radiation treatment location or going to see my oncologist, someone walked with me. But they did things like, oh my god, you know this is huge for me, Sam. They noticed my sneakers. Because you know me, I had a different pair of sneakers every day.
Sam:It was a George Charter episode if you want to hear more about that. Yeah.
LT:Sixteen treatments, and you know your girl had a different pair of sneakers every day.
Sam:But they I would expect nothing less.
LT:Nothing less, exactly. They um they they noticed my sneakers, right? Or they asked me what I was doing on the weekends, or they asked me about the Valkyries and WNBA and like just little things. And even though I wasn't again, it's like 10-15 minute meetings, when you do that, con like you develop community when you are doing that. So I didn't expect that. I had no idea what to expect. I did not have chemo, um, but I did have 16 rounds of radiation, and then um I start I start medication after that. People have asked me, what does it feel like, right? Um, and so you're on this table, and I'll I'll if you follow me on Instagram, I'll I'll share the um share the photo of this machine like this room with this giant machine, and you're on a table. The the table doesn't the table doesn't really move. I mean it goes up and down, but the machine itself rotated around me. And there's this like like the the they're trying to, like I said, get at me at different angles, so to speak. But my arms were above my head and I had to like hold my breath. Um and I think I would do that for like six times, like hold it for about I don't know, I don't know how many seconds, but the folks are in a different room. I will say, just because I'm a giant nerd, the first time I saw that machine, I immediately thought of the movie Alien. One of my all-time favorite movies, and I was like, Oh my god, I am Sigourney Weaver.
Sam:Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I mean, you could do a lot worse than being like Segurney Weaver. I'm saying, I'm saying badass. Yeah, yeah.
LT:That was my feeling.
Sam:I I love this, and I know um I'm gonna bring up something that we um like semi-joked about, right? Which is like the weird part about getting radiation and thank you for describing it and again demystifying it, right? A feeling like if you don't access that story of chemo or of losing your hair or being frail or having early stage versus late stage. So you were like, Do I really have cancer? Can I say like I have cancer, which is wild to say, but shows how powerful those narratives are. Um, and meanwhile, you're talking about like talking to a network of people, some of whom you knew had it, some of whom you didn't, who were all like, yeah, this is kind of part of like not everyday life, but like it happens a lot, right?
LT:Like you definitely had cancer imposter imposter syndrome.
Sam:Yeah, it was like modeled, you did.
LT:Do I really have cancer? I just have a little bit of cancer.
Sam:I'm not sure if I'm sorry about this, but you did. You had cancer imposter syndrome.
LT:I had, you know, like, oh, well, it's only a centimeter, like dumbass, like it's still cancer, right? And if it's not treated, it's going to be bigger than a centimeter. Mind you, mind you, Sam, while this is happening, I'm also hearing about she's not she's younger than me, but um Ananda Lewis, a fellow Howard University graduate, actually dying as a result of breast cancer, right?
Sam:Because like that full 80s and 90s, like now, right? Like I remember that while it was happening, right?
LT:And she's younger than I am.
Sam:Yes, yeah, like um, and um, but yes, you you I don't know if I ever I don't think I shared this with you, but when my dad it turned out had renal cancer, he got his kidney out. He was um in his late 50s at the time. This is when I was at the tail end of grad school. Um, and because of where it was and how they had to do it, they had to take the kidney out sort of before they really knew whether or not he had cancer. And they took it out, and then it turned out he did, right? That the that it he did. And he was like, I'm kind of glad, because then it feels like I had cancer. I didn't just get my kidney out, right? Like these weird things that happen around cancer imposter syndrome that that that you're marking, right? Where you just like you want some sign of it, right? That's kind of um uh like this thick way, right? That we conform to scripts or or want to. Um so not building on what you were talking about, about your experience at the treatment center and the way that they've really curated and thought about how to manage this, right? Um, how to manage care. Um how did the healthcare professionals you encounter react to the fact that you were on a book tour, that you were an author? Um, because you talked about this very human interaction where they're noticing your shoes, where they're asking about your interests in basketball, right? And other things. They also knew you were an author, right? You told them and that you were in the middle of this because it was actually like you had to schedule, yeah, and you were on the bridge of like, do I need to reschedule things in October? Oh, thank you for reminding me. You were like, I think it's gonna be okay, but I don't know, right? Like, I don't know how many, how many sessions I'm gonna have, right?
LT:Yes for reminding me, buddy. Yes, that's right. So, meanwhile, um I've suddenly have to fit in um treatment, including surgery and radiation, when I already had my fall book um tour lined up, and that we're talking Boston, Chicago, New York, Kansas City, Arkansas, etc.
Sam:It's all happening.
LT:Lockdown in October and November. So, you know, I remember Dr. Psy, shout out Dr. Psy, chief of surgery. Oh my god, amazing at Kaiser. And he said, Oh, do you have any travel coming up? You know, it's like, oh just a little. So I'm explaining that what did you say? I said just a time. Just a little bit, right? And so I'm explaining that I was like tour. He's like, What? And first let me say about him with regard to like first genness and hidden curriculum. That our first meeting with him, um, this is while this is before surgery. My husband Rob and I go there and he and Dr. Sy sits us down in his office. No, no, I'm sorry, not in his office, in like this conference room, and it's almost like lectures, not lecture styles, almost like a little classroom. Right, like little office, yeah, with like a little whiteboard. And he like draws a picture of a breast, and he's like, This is what you have, and like and like didn't use medical jargon or things like that. And I just I actually paused them. I was like, You are so amazing right now. So that was very helpful. And I remember getting it's around here somewhere, but like getting like a folder, you know. Sam, you know I love a good folder of materials. Oh right. Um, so so like had all this information and people's phone numbers, and so I mean they were it it was only so much one could do in terms of like the um the timing of things. It kind of was what it was, but I think the best part about it was just their level of empathy and understanding. Um, and I remember Dr. Cy like after before surgery saying to me, Oh, Tanya, how's the book tour going? Or sending me a message on KP.org, just at like checking in. Um, people were just so excited. It's a good reminder, especially, you know, Sam, you and I talked about this before, being academics, being in a world where we're used to people being authors and writers and publishing. It's pretty common for us. That's not true for the average person, even for healthcare professionals. And so Dr. Psy sent me a message, told me he was really proud of me. This is the chief of surgery at Kaiser. I know you're gonna show us this this email, I hope. Well, I will I'll put it on Instagram. I'll put it in, yeah. Um, it was just so sweet. Um, and the radiation therapist that I got to know at South City, these are the folks who I was seeing every day, they knew eventually that um I would had written a book and I ended up I ended up donating a signed copy to the cancer treatment center. And on my last day, I took a picture um with with Nate and Merlen, and they um they insisted on having a copy of Smart Girl in the photo. Um, so it I mean that just made it it helped normalize things for me and just help um nice knowing that there was a community of support.
Sam:It's just um great because it just repeatedly throughout your treatment. Um again, we all All know so so much history of medical inequity, of lack of access to things, of the way folks are treated uh in the US healthcare system. They really like saw you as a person. Um, and it's a beautiful thing. And they also talk to you about it like you you and Rob were sentient human beings who could understand if explained, right? And that you had a right to know, right, about what was happening rather than just schedule it and show up, right? And uh I know that that is incredibly important um to you as well. Um, so then you know, as we start to wrap up and you have wrapped up radiation at this point. Um, how are you feeling now? Yeah. People want to know.
LT:So here's the thing about radiation again that I really I just didn't know. So like radiation is basically it's it's almost like this, it's not almost it's not visible. You know what I mean? Um, it's not it's not something going in your arm, it's not a pill that you take. It is an experience that happens over time. So I mentioned being on this table and this machine, it like like circulating around me. Um, and so the effects occur later. So those effects for me and for most women are there's definitely gonna be like some change to your dermis, to your skin, like where the radiation is basically like getting a sunburn over and over and over again. Like if you keep exposing your skin to the sun like that, it's going to impact you. So I got re I I was telling people I got pretty crispy um like rotisserie chicken. Um got dark, dark spots under my breast, and uh my nipple got really sore too. So I did use a lot of like um heavy creams, aloe, which helped, um, because sometimes it felt hot over there, but you don't feel anything in a moment.
Sam:You don't, it's not like oh I'm uh something's going through. Yes, you it's not like the the laser. No, yes, yes, yes, no lasers coming to get you. This isn't like Dr. Evil or anything. But you know, I just again I think demystifying this is it's important.
LT:Okay, but I will say this, I will say this because early on I asked, I had so many different doctors, by the way. Um, I had an oncologist and I had a radiation oncologist, but I asked the radiation oncologist, like, hey, it what might I expect as a black woman with brown skin? Like, is there a different different would you expect a different impact? No, no, no, of course not, right? Well, I had a black nurse, so shout out to Dion. Um who said she said, hey, this is how brown skin can react differently. So for women with fair skin or quote unquote white skin, we'll get redness. Like I I didn't turn red, I got really dark skin. Um, and then unexpectedly, like I said, I had like this black line, like where the broad where the bra line is under under my boob, um, just on one side. It got really, really dark. And Dion noticed that, and she really advocated for me. She's like, you know what? I think that's gonna blister. So check this out. So this was this was post-radiation. So I'm done with radiation treatment, right? And so she's like, I think that's gonna blister. You are going on a tour. I'm gonna talk to the doctor about already putting in a prescription for you for your skin, so that you don't when you're out about in the country, you already have it, and we don't have to wait.
Sam:Right, you're not in Boston looking for a CVS hoping they fill your prescription from California. Shout out to Dion. Shout out to Dion for looking out, thinking forward thinking, and also being like, no, girls, things are different, right? Literally what she said. No, actually.
LT:And so I got that prescription this morning because last night it started to peel, right? Um heading out soon.
Sam:And I'm headed out.
LT:I'm literally traveling. So thank you, Dion, for for that. Um, and and just yeah, so I I really appreciated that.
Sam:Uh I love it. I love it. Um, so I I couldn't resist having two questions about music to to end us out. Um I'm so uh I know everybody is. Uh I'm just so thrilled that you're on the other end of radiation. Uh I I I know that there's still symptoms and there's still other things, right? But um Oh, I forgot the fatigue.
LT:Fatigue.
Sam:Yes, I was gonna say, I know that they're still tired and and that is hard, right? When I talked to you and you were like, All right, I went to the supermarket. Good night. That's that's it for me for the day, right? And if anyone knows you, they know that that is you know, you are the energizer bunny. So I know that that is hard for you in a very particular way. But I wanted to ask, you might not have been able to listen to anything because you probably couldn't have things in your ears, right? But like, what did you listen to during or on your way to or from radiation? Uh, because I know music and soundtracks are your jam. Yeah, is my first music question.
LT:Okay. Okay, oh, answer it now. Okay, yeah. So, okay, here's what's funny, Sam. So I I remember I tried to avoid Reddit because it it could just be a dark, dark place. Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Sam:True. It's so true. Maybe for like what to eat, but not. No, not can't. Oh gosh, no.
LT:But I did one night, I did go to Reddit, and people were like, oh, I created like a I created a radiation therapy playlist. Like, friend, there's no time for any of that. You can't have, like you said, can't have anything in your ears. You're really in and out in 10 minutes. It'd be a really short playlist. Um, I did not create a playlist, but I really focused on things that brought me joy and made me happy. So I listened to Yukon by Justin Bieber multiple times a day. It is just an amazing song. Um, and he his level of musicality is very underrated. Um, the other thing though, outside of music, I did because I just needed to take my mind off things. So I listened, I listened to Leslie Jones's memoir, which is it, it was so funny. Um, and she's reading it, and so it just cracked me up. It was amazing. And then no surprise, this is not music, but I just re-watched Dawson's Creek season three, season four, and the Castaways episode. Because I just wanted I just wanted to experience happiness.
Sam:I just wanted comfort, fun, I could, and a narrative to lose yourself in, too.
LT:I could not watch anything new, I just could not absorb stuff. I think I did first I did Brooklyn 99, which holds up incredibly well.
Sam:Oh my god, it's so good.
LT:It's so good, and then I went to Dawson's Creek.
Sam:So I love I love this and also R I P Andre Brouwer. Oh my gosh. Uh a national treasure. Um, but um, yeah, so I love that. I often say, like, like genre is my comfort food, right? Like, I want to listen to my genre stuff. Like, I'm just like, I want to know the beats. That's right. And then I'm good. And it's like, it's like that comfort song, something that's really good. Okay. And then my next question is is a more lofty question about your musical choices. What would your song be to encapsulate how you're feeling about your cancer diagnosis now on the other end of radiation as you enter into this phase of your book tour? We just had the six-month celebration to march the thing. It was great.
LT:Yeah, okay. This may be a shock. Well, this may or may not be a shocker for you. So, number one, I think you know, I did not like early Drake. Um I knew way too many people here right now that I was like, come on, bro. What do you you you you're just trying to say too much in that one line, right? It was definitely a tryhard there.
Sam:However, Early Drake is such a tryhard. And I like I have hearts for tryhards, but you know you and I have discussed this.
LT:Yeah, yeah, but how you know how I feel. However, even though over is probably my least favorite Drake hit, um, when he says, I'm doing me, I'm doing me, I'm living life right now, man. And this is what I'm gonna do till it's over, till it's over, it's far from over. So that's that's how how I think about it. That's life is life is far from over. Um, what a crazy experience that I had. It is true, like this is the cliche, but it's it's people say it for a reason. Like, you just really think about life very, very differently. And I just didn't want to take things for granted. I was just like, hey, I just want to do whatever I want to do. And so for me, that meant a lot of like WMBA. Like, I watched so many games. I went in person, I saw my favorite, I got to see Asia Wilson. Like, I was because I just all be. You're gonna do the thing. I'm gonna do the thing. They're gonna do all the things. Bets are off. Let me let me go enjoy myself. So that's that's just where I am right now. It's far from over.
Sam:I love this. I am weeping. I'm trying not to weep more. Um, thank you for talking about this uh with me throughout, um, but also right now for everyone. Um, we love you. I love you, and I'm so glad that um you did this very special episode. Um and that you are past this very special episode. Yeah, and we can resume programming, is what I will say. Um, but um, yeah, thank you. This is smart girl. We're out. We out.
