#003 - Your nervous system might be wrecking your success

Samantha Noelle, host of the Overcome Her podcast, explains how women often self-sabotage right as business starts improving, not from laziness, but because the nervous system reads success as unsafe and triggers fight, flight, freeze, or fawn behaviours like control, anxiety-busyness, procrastination, or people-pleasing and undercharging. 

She links this to conditioning, childhood stress and trauma, money messaging, epigenetics, and centuries of women being taught to stay small, plus the idea of a “financial thermometer” set point that can cause backsliding through burnout, illness, or chaos. 

She shares tools to regulate and rewire: belly breathing (6-6-6-6), a visualization to integrate feared success, EFT/tapping, and believable affirmations, along with daily self-observation, journaling prompts, and identifying what you gain from chaos versus regulated success so you can safely hold expansion.

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Transcript

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Have you ever noticed that right when things start going well in your business, you just start making headway, things start improving, you sit down, you set your goals, you're super clear on your vision, and you start taking action. Then all of a sudden, something happens. Things cause delays, disruption, you procrastinate, you get tired, exhausted, sick, you overspend, you pick fights, you create chaos, drama, or maybe you just start questioning if you are even on the right path. Now, this might not be laziness or lack of commitment to your goals or your growth or lack of discipline. It might actually be your nervous system protecting you from what it perceives as unsafe. Why do we as women constantly self-sabotage our own success? In today's episode, we are going to unpack that. Hey everyone, I'm Samantha Noel, and I am your host of the Overcome Her Podcast, and this is the podcast where we talk mindset, money, and nervous system. And in today's episode, we are going to talk all about your nervous system and how that is impacting your ability to scale and grow your business, and why maybe it's not that the universe is against you, it's not that some unseen forces are against you. It's actually that things are responding to your own nervous system and you are subconsciously making decisions, little ones and big ones, that might be sabotaging your growth plans. And we're gonna get into why that is and what are some tools and things that you can do, and how do you pay attention for the warning sign so that you don't get tripped up and waste time every time you start to level up in your business. So let's dive right in. Alright, by now, most people understand what the nervous system is, and we all kind of have a basic understanding of what its job is. The nervous system's job really is to process information and coordinate the responses to the sensory input that you are experiencing so that it ensures that your body functions smoothly and efficiently. In short, its goal is to try to keep you safe and it's connected to your brain and to all of these different pathways and cells and processes and hormones in your body. Our brain's job really is to process, interpret information, and sense any threat before something actually has the chance to harm us. So imagine this: you're going along, you create your business, you are so set and so excited to move forward, and things are growing, and you're getting new customers and new clients, and all of a sudden, something happens that you are not even aware of that tells your nervous system this is way different than anything we've ever known. It says that we need to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And so you take actions, not even consciously, based on the feedback that your nervous system is outputting to your body. So if all of a sudden you're in your business and you're doing well and your nervous system gets triggered and you get into that fight mode, you might start trying to control everything and you become ultra stressed and ultra tense, and you're trying to control things and you're getting frustrated and you're getting angry and you're having outbursts and you're breaking off relationships because you think that all of these things outside of you are the problem, not realizing it's your nervous system. And so maybe you are the person that flights when your nervous system is triggered. You want to get the heck out of dodge. That might look like anxiety, constantly doing things just to keep busy and avoid addressing the thing that you are actually needing to address. So you're kind of distracting yourself, you're unable to rest, you have FOMO, you're chasing the next goal. Again, all tactics to avoid looking within and realizing that it's actually your nervous system. Because if you could actually look long enough within, you would see what it really was, and that it wasn't that you needed to constantly be doing something else or chase the next goal. Now you might freeze, and freezing is you're not able to make decisions, you avoid things that are going to help your business, you procrastinate on what you said you would do in your business, you go numb, you check out, that's your nervous system. Then there's this whole other fourth category, and that's fawning. And when we fawn, we tend to almost idealize things. And so we want to people please, we want to undercharge, we want to overgive, and we get so wrapped up in the people pleasing, the undercharging, which means we're gonna work harder just to make more money, which means we're gonna work more instead of working smarter, and we're gonna overgive, and we're gonna be afraid of disappointing other people, and we're gonna try to avoid disappointing other people, and we're gonna get wrapped up in so much of a tizzy that we completely derail the goals and the growth and the success and the trajectory that our business was on that we want it to be on. Now, if you guys listen to my last episode, you'll remember that it kind of talked about the fact that women we have centuries and millennia of being conditioned to shrink ourselves, to be more pleasant, to be more agreeable and accommodating. And so we've been conditioned this way, and our nervous system knows it, which is why when we start to move forward, when we start to take that action and our business starts to do well, alarm bells go off, and we think that we have to do all these crazy things in order to get ourselves back to safety because something is saying, I'm not safe, I'm not safe, I'm not safe. What really is happening is this is foreign, this is new. Okay, let's just talk about how the nervous system gets wired to the way that it does, because it's not just one event, it's many things, and it completely depends on where you grew up, who was around you, what was the messaging around you, what did you watch, what did you intake, and then go back several generations. What was your grandmother being taught? What was her mother and her sister? What were they all being taught? You might think that this has nothing to do with you because those people are long gone, we're in a different era, but it has everything to do with you because that energy gets carried down. There's something called epigenetics, which, in short, and this is oversimplifying, it says that we do inherit the energy of the people passed before us, as well as we can change the energy of ourselves to pass on to the next generation based on the thoughts, the words, and the actions that we speak, do, say today. So what our ancestors did and what they had to experience, it definitely affects our nervous system today because that's all part of our genetic makeup. It's all part of the wiring, it's all part of the intrinsic internal messaging that we've received, whether it's been stated or not. So you think about growing up. What was your experience like growing up? A lot of people who grew up really poor, they go one of two ways. They end up becoming poor themselves, or they start chasing wealth so much, but they do it in a way where they burn themselves out and they just keep going and push and push and control and become perfectionists and think that they have to constantly overachieve and outperform. That's the nervous system. So think about things that women have been taught over the years. It's don't stand out too much, don't be too different. Look at women who are different. I mean, maybe you identify with feeling different than most women. Maybe you don't think like most women, maybe you don't enjoy what a lot of women enjoy doing, and maybe it seems foreign to you. So think about how that feels and think about how oftentimes we see women who are the outliers and they're often rejected by their cohorts. And so naturally we learn if I'm different, I'm going to be rejected. If I stand out too much, I'm going to be rejected. So if you start doing well in your business, and meanwhile, you have female friends who are working in the corporate world and they are just doing their thing, and their life is way less chaotic than yours because let's face it, being an entrepreneur, being a female entrepreneur, it comes with some degree of drama and chaos. And I'm not talking bad drama or chaos. I'm talking about the kind of drama and chaos that you're dealing with different problems. You have to work a little harder, you have to hustle a little more, and you have to deal with sets of problems that people who are working in the corporate world don't necessarily have to deal with. So it makes you stand out, it makes you a little different. And that can cause internal feelings of being unsafe. So you might try to shrink, you might try to change, you might try to adapt, you might try to be more palpable for people or more likable to the point that you almost forget who you are and why you even started your business in the first place. If you grew up in an environment where you constantly heard money doesn't grow on trees, or no, we can't afford that, or wealthy people are greedy, you just need to focus on being a good person and don't worry about money, or money will come. Okay, well, how does money come? Like, how does money come? Yes, sure, I believe in the energetics of money, but if we're not actually doing anything, if we're not actually taking any kind of productive action, how does money come? Does it just come knock on our door while we're sitting on our couch watching some TV show? Or does it come when we actually step out of our own comfort zone and do something that's worthy of receiving the money? I know that in today's day and age, if you are between the ages of 30 and 50, that there are a lot of women who have experienced traumatic childhoods. The stats are higher than I think a lot of people realize, but as soon as you start opening up and sharing those stories with people, you hear that a lot of other people had similar experiences or maybe not as bad, but they still had some degree of trauma in their childhood. And the thing about stress is that it's and especially traumatic stress or chronic stress, PTSD, CPTSD, that actually shapes your nervous system and impairs your ability to make grounded, sound, logical decisions. So you tend to end up making more emotional decisions. And this kind of goes back to the fact of we have something called the prefrontal cortex, and oftentimes when you have traumatic experiences, those experiences get locked in the emotional brain, and they never have the opportunity to be processed fully by the prefrontal cortex, which applies logic to something emotional, which in a healthy person would allow them to apply more logical, rational decision-making capabilities. But when you have trauma, especially in childhood, your body and your nervous system end up in kind of this chronic state of stress, even if it's a low level, and that can tend to make you more apt to making emotionally dysregulated decisions and acting from a place of fear even when you don't realize it. And it will seem so normal to you because that's the worldview that you've been operating in for so long. Another thing that happens is that financial insecurity, it's been shown that it can actually activate similar brain regions as when there's physical danger. We also know that even just you thinking about something fearful, your body doesn't know the difference. Your brain doesn't even know the difference between you feeling afraid of something or feeling the fear of something as it actually happening in real life. Your body will still have the exact same physiological response as if it was happening in real life. And so you will make decisions based on that. So imagine if you come across a bear and you are afraid for your life. Well, if you have financial insecurity and that is activating the same parts that are activated as if you came up across a bear on the trail that you're on and you're afraid for your life, the decisions that you will make will be out of proportion to the perceived threat that you're actually facing because your brain doesn't really understand that hey, we're not in front of a mountain lion, we're not in front of a bear, we're not going to die. All it knows is I'm don't feel safe right now. Everything is activating, alarm bells are going off, and so you make decisions based on that. I want to think about just everything that women have gone through over the centuries. A long time ago, there was something called the Skold's Bridal, and this was used specifically to silence women who were seen to be essentially just too much, too outspoken, too opinionated, challenging the status quo. And if you actually look this thing up, it is ugly, it is embarrassing. Some of them would actually pierce or clamp down on the woman's tongue so that she really couldn't talk. And then you think about the sale in witch trials where women who were medicine healers, who believed in healing through plants and the earth, anyone who was even powerful as a female was burned or drowned and told if she survives it, she's really a witch, and if she's not, well, I guess she wasn't. And then you think about the fact that there used to be laws that husbands used to be able to beat their wives as long as the stick was no thicker than their thumb. And over the years, there's just been so many things that have been put in place to keep women silent, to keep women small. And so, what does this do to us on a deeper level as women? So that anytime we step out, anytime we want to put ourselves out there, what is that old, way back when conditioning doing to our nervous system? What is it? What messaging is happening? We have to literally rewire through what I mentioned before, epigenetics, changing your cellular structure based on new thoughts, based on new ideas, based on new words, based on new actions. You're going to have to rewrite and rewire your own self, not just for you and your generation, but for the generations that come after you. You know, you think about women who, and this happens so often, everybody has a set point. Everyone has a point that they are very comfortable at in terms of earning and then growth. And you'll get to that point, and then all of a sudden you'll get sick, you'll get burnt out, you'll lose people in your business, you will lose clients. Something will start to happen and you will somehow be in some degree of control of it that puts you back down below that threshold of where you are financially comfortable at. I always like to call it your financial thermometer. You have a financial thermometer, and that's the set point at what you and your nervous system can actually handle. And anything beyond that is when the alarm bells will ring. Some people it might only be $40,000 a year, some people it might be $140,000 a year, and some women it might be $1.4 million a year. But everybody has a thermometer where they're financially set at. And so as soon as you hit that point, that's when things will start going backwards. And you'll notice it, but you'll usually notice it too late. You'll notice it when the slide has already started to happen. So you almost have to know that in advance in order to bypass this. And as soon as you get to that point to push past. Now you might be wondering, okay, great, Samantha, how the heck am I going to even figure out what my financial set point is? And that's where we can get into that just a little bit later. You know, sometimes successful women also sabotage themselves in ways that seem incredibly altruistic. And maybe this is you. You overspend, you spend your money on other people, you rescue others financially, you sabotage your own stability for the sake of others. And it seems nice, it seems caring, it seems generous, it seems like this is the thing you have to do. But remember, if your boat sinks, you can't save anyone. So you have to be able to continue to keep your own boat afloat so that you can actually rescue more people. And hey, maybe that means taking the boat to shore and getting a bigger and better boat so that you can save more people. And the only way you're going to be able to do that is if you don't sink your own boat. So don't go spending all the money now that you have it just because you have it. And hey, we've all been there. Like we've all done this at some point. And maybe we've spent it on ourselves, maybe we've spent it on others, maybe we pay the government before we even pay ourselves, and we think that's what we're supposed to do because it's our taxes. And I'm gonna argue and I'm gonna say, pay yourself before you pay the government. Always pay your taxes. Death and taxes are two things that are guaranteed in life, but the government, believe it or not, they can wait a little bit for the money. They want their money and you need to make sure that they get their money, but they can wait. You need to feed yourself because if you continue to stay fed, you know, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, then you can continue to bring in more money through more success. And that means that everybody else continues to get paid. I was having a conversation with a friend actually the other day, and I am a self-admitted high achiever. I've also experienced burnout and health issues and all of the things, and I've experienced a lot of the nervous system stuff that I talk about, which is what gives me the authority to even talk about it and to know what I'm talking about. But I was having a conversation with a friend the other day because I had this moment where I remembered a feeling that used to happen a lot in my business, and that was I would have horrible anxiety thinking that I was going to tick off clients, that they weren't going to want to work with me, that they weren't going to see in the value in me, that if I took time off from my business, that that would happen while I took time off. I mean, we could be talking a day or two days, and I would think that in that day or two days, that all of a sudden they would think that well, there's no real value. She's not providing me value, she's taking time off. She's gone away, she's MIA. Where is she? Now, to be very clear, I have always responded to clients within 24 business hours. It's just been a rule of mine to even if it's just to acknowledge and say, I need another day or two to get back to you on this, but I want to acknowledge your your email and your correspondence. Now, that is a nervous system lie. It's a lie. Because really, did anyone ever drop me for taking time off? I can't think of one client that ever dropped me for taking time off. Yet that fear was there. And there's a part of us high achievers who are slightly addicted to the stress and the chaos, which is why sometimes we create it unintentionally, because it keeps us feeling like we're important. It keeps us feeling like we're actually doing something just by being in that state of stress. In fact, I can think of people that I've known over the years who every single time that I would ask, How are they doing? and they would always reply that they are so busy, so swamped. Oh my gosh, I can't even breathe. I'm underwater. And, you know, we all have those moments where we really truly are busy and swamped. But when we're talking that years, somebody is still answering that they are busy and swamped and drowning, then maybe it's not outside of them. Maybe it's not the job that they're in, maybe it's not the business that they're running, it's probably them. It's not a season at this point, it's them. And they're addicted to it because it gives them some degree of feeling important. And so there's some deep-seated belief in them that I'm not important unless I'm performing. I'm gonna say that again. There is some deep-seated belief in them that says, I am not important unless I am performing. And if you resonate with that, then I'm gonna challenge you to really take a look and go, where am I creating busyness and chaos for myself that I actually don't need? And some people will go, oh yeah, I'm doing this here and there. And then other people are gonna get really defensive and they're gonna say, Nope, everything that I've got on my plate, all these 10 plates that I've got spinning on my head and my toes and my fingers and my hands and my elbows, they all need to keep going and they all need to keep spinning, and I'm the only person that can do it. That's your nervous system. That's your nervous system lying to you, saying that the only way that you're gonna be safe is if you continue to be performing under a state of stress and chaos. Now, female entrepreneurs, ladies listening, you do not need another self-help book. I mean, maybe it might be great to listen to or read, but you don't need to be better. You don't need to do more. You probably need to do less. You probably need to do less freaking out, less striving, less perfectionism, less taking on what you're not good at, what you don't enjoy doing, less goals and striving and achieving, and you probably just need to settle. Settle into the concept and the idea of expansion and growth. Settle into the idea that it is completely safe for you to be successful, for you to expand, for you to hold that and trust that your nervous system can hold it. And you're thinking, how can I do this? And we will get into that in a minute. Okay, so getting into how do you hold that expansion? How do you hold that in your nervous system? Well, part of it is what other word do I use other than manifestation? Part of it is manifesting, it's manifesting a new state of being, it's manifesting a new wiring within your system. And manifesting and your success are not just about your mindset because you can think as much as you want, and you can think about your nervous system being safe. But until you learn how to embody that and embrace that and pull that into your Nervous system, it's just mind chatter. So, some questions to ask yourself as you're listening to this. Can your body and nervous system tolerate being seen? And I mean really seen. Not performing, but being seen, just standing there and showing up. Can your nervous system tolerate receiving? Can it tolerate ease and peace? And can you tolerate having more than others around you? I'm sure by this point you're thinking, okay, just tell me. Tell me what I'm supposed to do. How do I do it? I want to know. So we're gonna talk about that, okay? I'm not leaving you high and dry. We are gonna get into this, we are gonna get into what you can start to do. Now, I'm gonna tell you guys, if standing on my head would help me regulate my nervous system, I would stand on my head. So I want you guys to be open to concepts. I want you to be open to ideas, and I will give you through the course of this podcast and through all of my outlets that I connect and reach out to tools. And those are tools for you to keep in your toolbox for when the time is right. When you have a problem that you need that specific tool, you can pull on to it. It doesn't mean you use it 100% of the time, it doesn't mean this is the magic fix to everything. It is a tool for a small problem that's part of a larger problem. Okay, so you're gonna need many tools. So I just want you to be open. Now, your nervous system doesn't actually respond to you doing more, it's just that's going to amp it up. So this is not something where I'm gonna tell you to do a bunch of logical things and that's gonna fix your nervous system. What we need to do is we need to bring it back first to really simple basics. And the first thing is breathing. You're a human being and you cannot survive without air. It is the only thing that you can't survive without for any amount of time. Like you can survive longer without water, without food, without sleep, without sunlight than you can without air, without breath. It is something that happens automatically. So it's something we need to come back to because this is the first foundation of resetting, rewiring our nervous system. We have got to learn how to breathe. Way too many people breathe from their upper chest and they don't even know it. So you need to start a daily practice of breathing. And even if you only do five minutes in the morning or five minutes in the evening, that's five minutes that you weren't doing it before. And it's training, it's retraining your entire system to get back into the habit of breathing how you are always meant to breathe, which is from the belly. So you're gonna breathe in through your nose, through the count of six, and you're going to do it slowly, and you're going to make sure the air fills up your belly first, and then it can fill up your chest. And then you're going to hold it for six, and you're going to exhale for six, and then you're going to hold that for six, and you're going to do that again. And you're going to do that about five times to bring your nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous state, which means the relaxed state. And then you're just going to focus on that breathing. And this is a practice to just calm that nervous system. That's all you're doing at this point, is just calming the nervous system to get you back into a place where you can make rational decisions. Because that very thing alone, like if you only do that, you are going to make much more grounded decisions because it forces your body back into your body. Okay. So now another thing that you can do, and this is a great tool, and it's a bit of a visualization, feeling, processing. And I want you to imagine the thing that you are afraid of the most. Like maybe you are afraid of putting yourself out there asking for a sale. Maybe you are afraid of public speaking. Maybe you are afraid of failing or of doing so well that you don't know what to do with it. Maybe you are so afraid that if you are really successful, that you are going to be so busy and so overworked. Okay. And maybe that's your anxiety. So I want you to think about what is it that I'm really anxious about? What is it that really gives me anxiety about success and growth? And then I want you to see that outside of you. I want you to visualize that. And if you have to give it kind of like a symbol in order to make it real, you need it to be tangible. And so you're going to imagine that thing and you're going to feel it. You're going to feel the energy associated with it. And it's going to make you anxious. And this is going to be an uncomfortable exercise. But you're going to slowly bring this into you and you're going to allow it to come closer and closer and closer. And as it comes closer, you're going to keep mentally telling yourself that you are in control and that you have the power and that you are stronger than this thing that you are afraid of. And you're going to continue to allow it to integrate into your body to the point that it comes so close, it comes into your nervous system, and your nervous system starts to calm down because it realizes, holy shoot, we are still alive. And this thing that I was so afraid of didn't kill me. Remember, I said your brain does not know the difference between perceived threat and real threat. Your brain doesn't know the difference. So by doing this exercise, you are actually rewiring your nervous system and retraining your nervous system to be less afraid of that thing that you were so afraid of that keeps holding you back, that keeps you self-sabotaging. Now, you might have to do this a few times, but honestly, the more you do it, the easier it becomes, the more your nervous system starts to go, ah, we're safe. We're totally safe. And again, this is all training so that when you're in the real world and you're in the situation where you feel panicked or stressed, you have the tools available to you. You have that training, it becomes muscle memory. Another tool that I really, really, really love is called EFT or tapping. And I will endeavor to get some resources out to you guys for this. It would take more time than I have available to try to explain how it works. But EFT and tapping is a great tool to help you with when you start to feel really anxious and dysregulated from something related to the success of your business and your growth. Another thing that you can do is using affirmations. Using affirmations speaking in the positive. And I love affirmations that start with, I am so grateful and thankful that, or I am easily XYZ. I am easily learning to receive money with ease. I am easily learning how to hold money with ease. I am easily learning how to save money like a wealthy person. And with affirmations, you always want to make sure that you are never saying something that feels so disconnected from you internally. You'll feel it when your body rejects it. So then if you're trying to say an affirmation that internally you feel you reject and your brain immediately goes, Nope, no way, this is a lie, this is BS. You need to change and tweak the wording to something softer. Like you might be trying to say, I am a multimillionaire, and your brain's like, Well, no, you're not. You have like two cents in your bank account right now. So that's when it might be, I'm beginning to think like a multimillionaire, or I am taking action towards becoming a multimillionaire, or I am learning how to think like a multimillionaire. Those would be much softer until then you start to actually embody the affirmation and you actually start to become the affirmation that you are speaking. And then that helps to regulate your nervous system. It's small incremental growth. Now, the trick with doing all of this nervous system work is to try to do it before you start to spiral to the point of self-sabotage. So get into a daily practice of observing yourself, of looking back at the actions and the words and the thoughts that you had in the day and start to observe. Was there anything where I was trying to move backwards? Was there anything that just seemed like it was just chaos and I'm wanting to move forward, but chaos happened? And then start to work backwards. What happened leading up to that? How did I respond to it? How long did I sit in that anger or that frustration or that self-pity and start to retrain yourself so that you're more aware of your self-sabotage before it even happens? And if you start taking a daily inventory of yourself at the end of the day, how did I respond? How did I show up? What actions did I take? When something bad happened, how did I respond? That's gonna really reveal to you if you're continuing to move forward and growing in the success of your business, or if you're backsliding back into that self-sabotage, and then feel free to ask yourself or journal, why did I choose that action? Why did I choose that thought? What was I afraid of? What was my fear in that moment? And you're gonna learn to identify. And this is all growth, it's just training. Think of it as training for a marathon, except for your training in your nervous system. So why is this nervous system work even important in the first place? Like, why does it actually matter? Well, women who are regulated tend to make clearer decisions in business. And if you want success, you need to make grounded, rational, clear decisions. You need to be able to back them. You need to be able to feel at peace in your body with them. And so it is integral to your success to make sure your nervous system is wired for as much success as you can possibly hold. And that's the thing. The overflow of financial success, the overflow of success that is going to get you from whatever broken place you're in, from whatever tough place you're in, from whatever place that you're in to where you want to be, that overflow will happen and be possible when your nervous system has the ability to hold it and not a minute before. So the second that your nervous system is completely ready, completely at peace, completely open to receiving an overflow of financial success and success in your business, that's when that success can come in because you are now a container for it. And if it seems impossible to you, it's not. Audrey Hepburn said the word impossible says, I am possible. So you are possible. You can go from survival, burnt out, exhausted, chasing, overachieving, undercharging, wired but tired, dysregulated nervous system to regulated nervous system set for financial success and business success. Now, what I want you guys to do, and feel free to drop it in the comments. I would love to know and journal prompt this for yourself. Where do I make success harder than it needs to be? Where am I afraid of being powerful? What do I gain by being in chaos, dysfunction, drama, or by playing it small? What do I gain? And this is a question that when I ask people in coaching, they're always tripped up. They're like, what do you mean? What do I gain? Here's the thing: you get something from everything you say or do. Anytime people want to say, Oh, I did it for somebody else, I was altruistic because it's like, no, there's always a piece of something that we get. We get a feeling of feeling good about ourselves when we help another person, right? We get something. We don't do things because we don't get something out of it. Oh, well, how do you explain then why I overgive when I don't want to? I don't get anything out of that, you might think, but you do. You get some degree of safety because you're afraid that if you said no to somebody, that they would reject you and that you wouldn't be loved, and then that would equate to something about your worth or your value or your meaning. So you do the thing that you don't want to do, and then you have resentment about it because you think that that's going to get you safe, like, love, and valued. So we always do things because there is a gain for us, even when it's something that we don't want to do, when we don't like doing it, when we hate doing it, there's always some gain to some degree for us. And so, what is it that you are getting by playing it small, by continuing to sabotage, by not doing the thing that you should do, by being less powerful? What is it that you're gaining by doing that? And then you need to think about what I would gain even more if my nervous system was regulated and could actually handle the success that I want. What would I gain then? And the wanting and the desire for that needs to begin to outweigh the wanting and the desire that you have for whatever self-sabotaging actions that you're taking. And the way that you do that is to rewire your nervous system because if you're operating from a state of dysregulated nervous system running your business and your success, then it means that whatever you're gaining from the self-sabotage has a larger emotional reward for you than what you would gain if you were truly successful. So you need to regulate the nervous system, teach your nervous system it's safe to have the capacity of the success that you want, and then work towards that and start to emotionally identify more with what you gain by being more successful. Maybe it's more vacations, maybe it's a really nice purse, maybe it's more time with your family, maybe it's a legacy, maybe it's paying off your parents' house. There has to be a stronger emotional attachment, and that is why we want to regulate our nervous system because until you regulate your nervous system, that default emotional connection to the self-sabotage will continue to far surpass and outweigh the emotional connection to the success. So journal those prompts, think about them, and take the action steps. Listen to this podcast over again if you have to. And I would love to hear your testimonies, I'd love to hear what it is that you guys do. Um, and feel free to jump over to the Facebook group that I have for Female Entrepreneurs Built for Profit. I would love to have you in there and you can share your success stories and help other women who are also wanting to do the same thing as you. And again, I am Samantha Noel, your host of the Overcome Her Podcast, and it has been a pleasure to be with you guys today. And I hope you have another amazing day, and we will see you again soon.