21. From Love Letter to Legacy: How One Daughter's Thank You Became a Map for Dementia Care

Episode Description

In this season finale, I'm joined by Beth Fitzmaurice, whose caregiving story became a digital story transforming how McCormick Dementia Services trains staff and supports caregivers. Beth shares what it was like to care for her mom 24/7 for five years, how digital storytelling helped her find purpose after loss, and why she went from isolated to advocate. This conversation shows how one five-minute video can create ripples of impact far beyond what we imagine.

Key Takeaways

• How Beth and Lisa co-created a five-minute video now used for staff training, board orientation, and caregiver support groups

 • Why simple details—a singing video, a photo showing humor, knowing someone was an x-ray tech—transform care

 • The isolation of 24/7 caregiving and how sharing her story helped Beth realize she did the best she could

 • Privacy decisions: What Beth shared publicly (Scrabble tiles, family photos) versus kept private (hospital videos)

 • McCormick's village approach: Day programs, nurses, social workers, and spa services that enabled home care

 • From farewell speech to Calgary Story Slam: How "a journey only love can navigate" resonated with audiences

 • The therapeutic power of admitting publicly "I keep thinking I didn't do all I could"

 • Finding a video of her mom singing after her death—and wishing she'd shared it with care staff sooner

Links & Resources Mentioned

• Watch the digital story, LOVE 'D'
• Common Language Story Slam
• "The Caregiver's Journey" - Beth's story featured in Western Universtiy Alumni Magazine (Spring/Summer 2025 issue on aging and caregiving)
• Previous episode reference:  Episode 5 with Kristy Wolfe - where Beth's story was first mentioned
• McCormick Dementia Services (London, Ontario) - Providing day programs, education, support groups, counselling, and specialized care for persons with dementia and their care partners

Featured Guest

Beth Fitzmaurice cared for her mother 24/7 for five years following her 2019 dementia diagnosis. Her letter of gratitude to McCormick became a digital story featured at Calgary's Digital Story Slam, used for training at McCormick, published in Western University's Alumni Magazine, and shared in support groups.

Thank you for listening!

Do you have a question or a topic related to "capturing essence for care" that you would like discussed on the podcast?  Text the show using the link above or send Lisa an email:  awestruckaspirations@gmail.com

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Intro and outro music with thanks:  Upbeat and Sweet No Strings by Musictown 

Lisa brings over 25 years of experience working in healthcare settings with older adults. The perspectives shared on this podcast are her own and do not represent the views of any past or current employer. Patient/resident stories are shared only with explicit permission or as anonymized composites for educational purposes.

Transcript

Closing Year With Beth

Lisa 0:00

This is episode twenty-one and the last one for twenty twenty-five, the first year of this podcast. I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to end with Beth Fitzmaurice, whose name might sound familiar from my conversation with Kristy Wolfe back in episode five. Beth shared her caregiving experience through co-creating a digital story with me for the Common Language Digital Story Slam in March of this year. We talk all about that experience and what that was like for her then, but also now, nearly a year later. Hopefully, this conversation sheds some light on the digital storytelling process and inspires you to share your story because you never know who it will touch. Let's dive in. Welcome to Capturing Essence for Care, where we discuss the importance of incorporating personal life stories into healthcare and share ideas to help you on your journey. I'm your host, Lisa Joworski. Welcome everyone to Capturing Essence for Care. Today I have Beth finally. So Beth Fitzmaurice and I co-created a digital story that was then presented or screened at the Common Language Digital Story event in Calgary, Alberta, back in March of this year. So 2025. Beth, I wanted to have you on because that was such an awesome opportunity. And once you introduce yourself and we get to know you a little bit more, we can explain what more about this event and how that all came to be. But I think it's just great that you're here with me to share that experience, what that was like. You and I spent a lot of time together. And I think it's worth sharing a little bit with everybody listening on what that was all about. So yeah, thank you for joining me today.

Beth 1:55

Oh, thank you for having me. And I think I've told you before, I really feel it was a gift, an honour, a privilege to be able to do the storytelling with you. You're easygoing, your humour, and you made it uh an enjoyable, worthwhile experience for me. So thank you.

Lisa 2:19

Thank you for saying that.

Beth 2:21

Well, you made it if we had to get up at 3 a.m. to go drive to the airport.

Lisa 2:27

We did, we did do that, didn't we, at 3 a.m.? And I even that was right when I realized that I needed to wear my reading glasses to see at nighttime the highway driving. So here we are at a new stage.

Beth 2:40

But we got there safely, and your plane took off on time, and mine was a few hours later.

Beth’s Caregiving Journey Begins

Lisa 2:49

Yeah, that's right. So, to back up a little bit, through the common language digital story collective that I'm a part of, we had uh fought up this idea to have a digital story slam and for the different facilitators to support a nonprofit organization by just volunteering our time and helping a caregiver or somebody connected to that not profit not for profit to create a digital story because it worked well for both of us. It supported the nonprofit organization, plus it also highlighted digital storytelling and what that what that's all about. So it was really a win-win. And thankfully, because I think McCormick Dementia Services in London, Ontario does such an excellent job really advocating and providing supports and services for persons living with dementia as well as their care partners. I I reached out to them and said, Hey, do you have somebody that maybe I could work with to really highlight McCormick's work? And they reached back, suggested you and your friend Marny, who is also part of this. And uh it's it was it's been quite an event. So yeah, I don't know if you want to share or fill in any gaps. Yeah, this experience has been life-changing.

Finding Support At McCormick

Beth 4:14

And for five years, I I took care of my mom 24-7. And doing the digital story with you after mom had died, it helped me figure out my journey ahead, my path forward, what I what I could do to make a purpose or find meaning in in the experience that I had had caregiving, because caregiving is a is a lonely journey, but maybe now I'll take a step back. So in May 2019, my mom was diagnosed with dementia. And in August or September 2019 was when McCormick first reached out to me. A friend had given me brochures on McCormick Dementia Services, but a uh McCormick social worker actually reached out to me and suggested that I join their education group. My mom was in denial about dementia, and I knew I couldn't get her to participate at the beginning, but I knew I needed to understand more about what I could do to make life better for mom. And so I started in the education programs and the support groups, and eventually a spot became available in the day program. So, for those who don't know, the day program is uh you're given a like a six-hour day where you could drop off your loved one, and they could have a stimulating six-hour day in a safe environment with experts who know how to deal with dementia, and I could get a break. That became vital to um my being able to care for mom in her home until her final illness, and that meant so much to me and and to her. It was in 2020, mom had maybe gone for two or three visits to the day program. It was once a week, and she'd gone for maybe two or three visits, and then the pandemic hit. So the pandemic came, and I was the social workers and the education series still kept going by Zoom or the social workers by phone call, which was a lifesaver in terms of not feeling as isolated as I would have been without that. And then um eventually the lockdowns were lifted, and mom could start going back to the program. In November 2021, mom had a stroke, and that's when I really appreciated everything McCormick has to offer. Because they have the registered nurses on staff, there was somebody there to help me monitor mom's care. Because they have excellent recreational specialists, mom was able to get some recreation and exercise that maybe I couldn't do at home. And the other big thing was their spa. I wasn't able to care for mom at home or like give her a bath, but they could do one at McCormick, and that just made her feel better and made me feel better that she was getting care.

Lisa 8:06

Right.

Beth 8:07

It wasn't until mom's last six weeks were spent in hospital, and I spent a lot of time at her bedside, and I was reflecting on how blessed I was that McCormick had done so much and how much I relied on them. And they were continuing to provide me support emotionally and through emails and phone calls and counseling visits, they were continuing to support me through mom's illness. So, how we got to the video, it was when I was reflecting on all that McCormick had done for me that after mom died, I wrote a letter of thanks to McCormick. And that letter, I was on chair of the caregiver council that they had at McCormick. And as my farewell speech, I read the letter. And we had about three Kleenex boxes in the room, and it touched the people in the room because they felt I captured well what McCormick means. It's not an institute, as we describe in the video, it's not an institution, it's it's a family, it's a village, it's where everybody knows.

Lisa 9:33

It's a community, right?

Pandemic Setbacks And Resilience

Beth 9:35

It's a community, yeah. So I was always looking, hoping that they would be able to use it either in fundraising, the letter, either through fundraising, or I told them I would come speak if they needed me to speak. Right. And then they introduced me to Lisa, and it was like, yes, now I have the opportunity. And then we met, and you kind of told me it was my story, or you told Marnie and I that we could work together on creating a story.

Lisa 10:12

Yeah. Okay, so thank you for that because that helps us to figure out where do we start with this. There are four, just to bring it back to the process of digital storytelling, the way that I have been trained to do it, is that we work on finding the story, telling the story, crafting it, and sharing it. So you're mentioning at the very beginning, you and Marnie and I met virtually, and we talked, we talked everything out. I got to know both of you, you got to know me, and we just kind of brainstormed ideas. And that's you're right, that's where it came. You talked about your mom, I got to know Marnie's story, and then it was definitely clear that it sounded like you both agreed that this needed to be your mom's love story in a way, and then I learned about this letter as well that you had written. And so I think that's where we started, that it would kind of be based around that letter, and then it kind of molded into something, right? Yeah. And I'm sure people are wondering, I know often the question comes up about privacy as well as consent. And so in this case, it's a special circumstance because your your mom isn't here anymore. So just briefly, maybe maybe you can briefly share on you know, when you're making decisions on what photos to have included or a voice and so on, how does that work when it's a family member? I'm putting it back on you because I think it's important that you being the family member is the one. Yeah, and I think that's important.

Beth 11:50

I was always the in mom's obituary, I listed myself as mom's advocate. And I was the one, not necessarily that it mattered, but I was the one with power of attorney for both health and finances. And I also had a good idea of my mom's wishes because that's what I've been always trying to follow.

Stroke, Day Program, And Care Team

unknown 12:12

Yeah.

Beth 12:13

So I knew like the um the photos that we shared. I picked out the photos. I then have three brothers, and I ran up past them to say, Are you comfortable with me? And Marnie Marnie, a couple times suggested I not. There was a a couple of photos of my mom sticking out her tongue, and Marnie's like, just one of those. And and we put the one at the most appropriate spot in the video.

Lisa 12:46

Sorry, showing her sense of humor, right? That was the point of the photo. Yeah. Her sense of humor, yeah. Her sense of humor and how she felt about dementia. And yeah, yeah, because you can tie those together.

Beth 12:59

Yeah. So I tried to then keep a careful eye and respectful of what my my mom would want included and shown. In the process, I guess just before you and I got together, Lisa, for the first time, at Christmas. I found a video of my mom singing Silent Night. And my mom um sang in church choirs for 70 years and um had a beautiful voice. Everybody remarked on my mom's voice, and never had I had a record, I totally forgotten that I had this recording. And we did have a family debate about whether to include it or not. And um, from a recognizing that once you put something out on the internet, which I knew out of Story Slam it was gonna go on the internet, you lose control of it. And this was a very special video that I'm very proud of and will happily show people. But do I did I want it out in the public domain where somebody could take it and change it or modify it somehow? And my brothers were split, so we we opted not to include it, and and it is like I said, I'll show it individually, but I didn't want it in the public domain of the internet where I wouldn't have control over it.

The Thank-You Letter That Moved Many

Lisa 14:42

Absolutely. I think that's really smart, and I love the fact that you included your family members to make sure people are on the same page. Some people may and may not have to do that, but I think when you do include the whole family, you know, then you're all on board and it makes everybody feel better. Uh, and for the purpose of this video, you were doing it for the purpose of showing it at the Story Slam. So that's a very public event. We knew you knew ahead of time on that it would be shown, recorded, posted. So that was all very clear. Where, you know, if you were to show it, say your mom, say your mom was living at home still, uh, and you were having people come into the home, which I'm sure you did. Yeah. Um, I'm pretty sure I remember that. Where maybe people came into the home to support her and you know, assist with personal care activities. Maybe then, if that was the purpose of the video, then you could have that where they get to hear her voice and get to see what she was like and learn more about maybe what she was like years earlier, right? In order to enhance that relationship with her. But that wasn't the purpose of this.

Beth 15:54

Right. And and like as you're mentioning right now, if I regret that I didn't find it to show it to McCormick recreational staff, I think they would have that that could have helped them in um coaxing mom to sing.

Lisa 16:14

Yeah, doing activities and knowing what to engage her in. So you you're you mean specifically that video of her singing in the choir?

Privacy, Consent, And Family Choices

Beth 16:24

I okay, it was um when I was back with we recorded at McCormick, for those who don't know, we recorded at McCormick in one of their um meeting rooms. But one of the days I ran into one of mom's RNs who who remembered mom, and mom was an x-ray tech, and she said when she saw the video that showed mom on her uh in the x-ray department, we had a picture of mom in the x-ray, and she said, Yeah, I used to tell your mom, breathe in, breathe in, hold, hold. And I never knew that while she was going to McCormick because most often I was picking her up and we'd have a the the staff member who would bring her out to the car, we would have a quick conversation. But one of the triggers for my mom was she hated being reminded of how poor her short-term memory was. So I never asked her, Oh, what did you do today? Because I knew that could uh set her, not set her off isn't quite the word, but I knew that was a sore Yeah, a sore spot for not being able to remember, yeah, not being able to remember, and then it was like also reminding her that she wasn't at home that day. That um because she was very comfortable staying at home, and it was reminding her, hey, I wasn't at home, and Beth was at home having fun.

Lisa 18:10

You really knew her and what mattered to her, what didn't, what maybe triggered her for lack of a better term, yeah, and what you could say that would help her feel comfortable and safe. Yeah. And so I love I think it's a great idea, and maybe looking back, thinking, you know, that that video with her singing would have really helped the staff because that's really the point of this podcast is to help people realize that they already have simple things at their fingertips. Yeah. So this is just to create those conversations to say, what do you already have that you can use? Yeah, I mean, sure, if you want to hire somebody and pay somebody to help to do whatever a memoir or a video, then then great. But you also have the things at your fingertips right now, probably on your phone or your computer or in a photo album that would help for others to get to know them wherever they're living or for transitions into new settings, right?

Beth 19:08

And what I've said to a couple people is take advantage and and make that time, grab out your iPad and just make that short video. You don't know when that will strike you as, oh, I'm so glad we have this.

Lisa 19:26

Exactly. Yeah, you don't you never know. And I don't know if Beth, if you remember me mentioning this, I'm sure I shared this story with you when we first met. But part of the reason that I've been so inspired about video is from like an old camera when I first started 25 years ago, and a daughter showing me in the day program, showing me this little video of her mom years earlier when she was able to speak clearly. And it was her sense of humor, same as what one of your wonderful strengths, but it was that person's. Sense of humor that I connected with. That out of everything else was oh wow. They can laugh at themselves, they can make fun of situations that otherwise might have been embarrassing. And so it helped me to do a better job supporting her in my recreation role. Um find activities or to to pay attention to what was going well and highlight that. So yeah, it doesn't take much, it doesn't have to cost anything.

What To Share And Why It Matters

Beth 20:28

Yeah, it doesn't have to. My mom had PSW, as you mentioned earlier, my mom had PSWs coming into the house. And our funny story out of that is we ended up getting a CSW, a cat CSW, a cat support worker. A neighborhood cat kept wandering in whenever the PSWs were at the door and would make like they belong there. And but what I didn't appreciate was um mom growing up had had cats, and I would ask her what the cat's name was, and they uh there were two cats over her during her dementia. We had two different cat support workers, and they were both gray tortoiseshell tabbies, and mom would sometimes call the cat gray. If I would ask what's the cat's name, she would say gray. And after mom died, uh one of my cousins shared a picture of my mom and her sister in the teenage years um sitting with a cat on my grandparents' front lawn, and they said their mom told them the cat's name was Gray. And I was like, oh, this so makes sense. It kind of makes sense now, but again, it was a lost family photo that we didn't. So if if people take the time to even collect some of things now and and just try and put something together, it'll help stimulate memories for their loved ones and fill in for when they're gone, you can tell the stories of yeah, fill in the gaps, yes, those stories that otherwise probably wouldn't have come up.

Lisa 22:18

Yeah, yeah, that's something we need to just take a minute to think back on that and really reflect. Yeah, that's amazing. Okay, so for the we talked about finding the story a little bit, telling the story. So I think it's important just quickly, and I I don't want to take too long on these pieces, but telling the story, you and I did get together. Um, and we're there was there was a little bit of coaching on how to say it, as well as like we used the maybe you could talk about telling and crafting together because you brought photos in.

Beth 22:53

I was very proud of myself. I did the first draft of the story, and then you suggested timing how long it would take. Right, yeah, under five minutes. Under five, and the first story was nine minutes, and then it's hard to believe, right?

Lisa 23:14

When you think that like this isn't much, you look at a page or two.

Simple Tools Families Can Use

Beth 23:17

It's hard to believe, and as you can tell from doing me doing this podcast, I I like to use words, and it was trying to focus it down. And between your I I would like to say, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, Lisa, the majority of the words remained my words. Absolutely, yeah. Um, you had a couple of edits, but I think the majority of the words were my words, so it continued to be my story, and you helped me realize that with the photos we collected, um, and what they commented at the story slam with the emotion in my voice. Um we I could convey a lot that I didn't need a whole lot of words. It was I'll say it's shared brilliant idea when we came up with the Scrabble tiles.

Lisa 24:23

We had some fun with the Scrabble tiles, didn't we? Everybody's gonna have to go and watch your video after listening to this.

Beth 24:30

Yeah, yeah, but um because in the original letter, that that wording of my mom spelling words that was in the original letter, and that continued on, and that was such an important theme I wanted to portray. And maybe I I don't know if I told you because we talked about the singing video. I videotaped my mom in hospital when she spelled love, and that is too private a video to show, but it's brought me comfort. But if somebody asked, did she actually spell? I have the video that shows, yeah, she spelled right to the very end, right to the very end, yeah. So telling and crafting the story, you and I met in person, and we we did a I thought I had a pretty good version, and we hit the five and a half minute mark, and it was I think we high-fived.

Lisa 25:36

We had a lot of fun, and I think any little successes were like, oh, yes, we did it. It did take a few times, right? But we did it.

Beth 25:45

I didn't do it, and and it was high five because I felt like I was it was a great version of what I wanted to say. When we were crafting the story, so in addition to the photos, the voice, the editing, the other thing was the themes that we had. So the theme of a village, the theme of a journey, and how you helped find stock pictures that conveyed that aspect of a journey. And that was one thing at Story Slam. I really felt a moment of pride when everybody was resonating with the a journey only love can navigate quote. That came to me spontaneously, and I really, but that imagery was kind of helped focus in on what I wanted the story to be.

Stories, Humor, And Identity

Lisa 26:44

That's awesome. It's true. Like I give a lot of credit to metaphors and analogies because I think we get stuck. Uh, Christy and I in the other podcast talked about how we tend to write on the nose. And so we like I remember when I was first learning, I was like, I'm driving down the road, and then I'd show a picture of me, you know, in my car. When that's not that's not really the point. The point is to convey a feeling, and so a metaphor helps us to do that, like traveling a journey. You know, there's gonna be ups and downs, mountains and valleys, and we can figure out how we feel and what that must be like going through that.

Beth 27:24

And and you found a stock picture of somebody gripping the steering wheel, and that one was like, okay, and you put it at the perfect spot. I felt that it really conveyed the sometimes you're just gripping the steering wheel and trying to navigate, and that's where that whole crafting, it truly was a crafting, a work of art that you did, and and taking my words and putting everything together.

Lisa 27:54

Well, it was a a team effort for sure, and thank you for saying that you felt like it was completely your words because that's the point, it's your story. Um, and if I can somehow help to cut words and make it still make sense and have the the deep meaning to it, that's the whole point. So thank you. I'm glad that you feel that way.

Beth 28:15

I think the one part I'll give you I know is your words was when I said mom wasn't right this time. You would in one of the edits you would put the this time, and I was like, yeah, that that's that's that's exactly what I want to say.

Lisa 28:34

So okay. Well, I'm glad to hear that. Well, thank you. Now, I think it's important for us, lastly, to talk about the sharing piece. So that's the last step. And so we already mentioned about how you knew that it was going to be publicly shared, so we could talk about the story slam. And then I'd love for you to share the other ways that you've been kind of sharing the video. Uh and I know it's kind of maybe more than I know, um, but we can I would love to hear and get you started on sharing about the sharing.

Crafting The Script And Cutting Words

Beth 29:07

Sharing about the sharing. So um the journey to Calgary was long, and it was my first time traveling in seven or eight years since mom was diagnosed with dementia. It was the first time um traveling, and I used to travel two or three times a year to visit family, and and I it occurred to me as I was boarding the plane, I'm like, I haven't flown in seven years. Wow. And and so there was reflecting on, yes, this is a new beginning. And then I was at a hotel in Calgary, and they're like, Oh, what do you somebody, one of the staff, whoa, what are you here for? I go, I'm here to present uh an I called it an advocacy video on dementia. And I remember a staff member saying, Oh, yeah, I worked in a dementia unit and in a previous job, and somebody laughed at me afterwards at how I connected with everybody with story with story everywhere. I think I was my mom was always a very private person, and I think my dad was being channeled at times, but um, we got to Story Slam, and instantly you and Christy made me feel welcome. And you had told me that I might be called up for an interview on stage, and I was like, okay, what am I gonna say? And am I gonna cry? And there were two stories before us, and I realized that yeah, I had a journey with dementia, but there's so many other people who are going through their own journeys, and not all of them are easy, but a common thread was an essence of hope. And um McCormick staff have described me as a realistic Pollyanna. That's a good term, I like it. Um that and and you've generously commented tonight on my sense of humor, and um humor and hope are um cornerstones, I think, of how I've how I've managed to get through this journey and still still be sort of saying. It just so happened that the video was shown on my parents' wedding anniversary.

Lisa 31:55

And the opening shot I think they're called thumbnail, like the thumbnail image, maybe.

Metaphors, Images, And Emotion

Beth 32:03

Thumbnail, the thumbnail you you picked was my parents' wedding picture, and and that was just to me another okay, this is meant to be, and this is good. And we showed the video, and I think I missed, I got a little bit teary-eyed, but then we got up on stage and I got possessed. We were getting lots of good questions from Christy and and feedback from people who are watching it from remotely, and it really helped. I'd been struggling up, it was about a year, just short of two weeks before mom's anniversary of mom's death, and I was still struggling with did I do everything I could. And in the course of the the long plane trip out there, and then hearing other people's reaction to the video, um, because we had kept it under wraps, and showing the video helped me, and hearing people's reaction really helped me come to terms with I did the best I could. It may not have been perfect, but I did the best I could, and that just overwhelmed me with that response from people who didn't even know me, getting the message that dementia is difficult. But I think somebody commented online that they realized from my video that it was going to be a difficult journey, but they had hope.

Lisa 33:39

Yeah. And so that has to feel really good after all is said and done. That yes, it was a difficult journey. But you and I talked before we pressed record on how you really looked at this like a team effort between you and your mom and worked together with her to make sure that all you were doing the best to advocate for her needs and wishes and what was important to her. Yeah. And even though it was a hard road, isn't it nice as well to then feel? I don't know, I feel like I'm speaking for you, but be by by being able to show the video and then to have that feedback, to feel a sense of maybe relief or closure and knowing that you did the best you could, but then also impact and inspire the people listening, right? That they took something away from that, which is a yeah, you know, when you're giving, then it's a gift to others, but then you're also receiving, you know. I'm sure it felt good for you, but you can speak to that way around.

Sharing The Story Publicly

Hope, Closure, And Audience Impact

Beth 34:45

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It felt good for me, and I have it on handy on my phone so that if somebody asks, I can say, have you seen the video? And at times I feel like I'm bragging, and I and I know my mom was a very humble person. I'm like, she wouldn't like this. I showed it to my Catholic Women's League group, and they had Kleenex flowing around, and because they knew firsthand how much I had. I don't want to seem like I'm a martyr, but how much I've sacrificed so that I could be there for my mom. So them uh them them recognizing that other people who saw the video recognizing it, McCormick when we got back to London and McCormick said their jaw dropped during the interview when I was advocating fun McCormick, fun McCormick. And then they wowed me by saying, okay, McCormick had just started once a year having a professional development day for their staff. And they said, We're not gonna show the video to the staff ahead of time. They had a viewing party back in London. Okay, while we were in Calgary, they had a viewing party back in London, but it was just the social workers and the management. Yeah, and they saved the video in for this professional development day, and they used it to kick off their professional development day to show the video and then say, How do you think you impact people's lives? and kind of had that as the focus. What a great idea! And I really felt that was a very special jumping-off point that they they used that for their theme or their keynote for their professional development day. And then uh they told me they were showing it to their board members, to the new board members coming on. The social workers were showing it in support groups, and there was one support group where they had some challenges, and they asked me to make a guest appearance at the support group. That must have felt good. Yeah, where they showed the video, and then again, going back to my realistic Pollyanna title, they they really felt that I could relate to those who are caregivers, but not sugarcoat everything that everything's yeah, there's gonna be challenges along the way. There's gonna be challenges along the way, and yeah, so I've guested in a couple of support groups. Western alumni magazine was doing an issue on aging, Western University, Western University on aging and caregiving, and they showed the reporter the video, and then she asked to interview me, and we had a good hour and a half long interview, and it got published this spring in the Western Alumni magazine spring summer issue titled The Caregiver's Journey. If anybody wants to look it up, and I got more positive feedback out of that. I had people whom I used to work with in my career at London Life who approached me because they had seen the story in Western magazine. Yeah. Wow, Beth. I didn't know all that. A dear cousin, um, who's like a brother to me, he was fearful of me doing Story Slam. He thought I would get too depressed or too down in doing it and reflecting. And I I'd have to tell him the exact opposite has happened. When I was going through pictures, it happened to coincide about the the one-year anniversary of when mom was in hospital. And reliving some of those last moments was and going through the pictures. Sometimes it was hard, but I I'm so pleased with the end product that my mom liked the phrase, suck it up, buttercup.

Lisa 39:23

Well, I hope I'm glad you mentioned that, Beth, because I think it's important to to note that there's some parts, like it does get pretty deep, and it's quite an in-depth process where there might be those moments where it feels like, oh, you know, you're revisiting some of those hard times in some situations. When when you had those moments, did you feel and be honest, did you feel supported by your network, by the people around you?

From Video To Advocacy

Beth 39:53

I felt supported by net my network, but I also felt supported by you. That you were. were you were patient and were sensitive to okay this might this might be a challenge for for Beth like and I really felt that you had my best interests at heart. I'm glad thank you for saying that yeah that means a lot I'm glad when you're a caregiver particularly for me for five years it's a very lonely existence because my world was mom's world right and you feel so alone and isolated sometimes and I think that's where I was getting those feelings of did I do everything I could yeah and once again for somebody to read see the video read the article and then say yeah we think your opinion matters I I can't and all of this from you reaching out for story slam nobody would have this all wouldn't have occurred without you reaching out for Story Slam well I am so grateful that you said yes I'm grateful that the collective common language digital storytelling gang you know fought up this grand idea so thank you Mike Link for that and and I'm just so so happy that you feel like you have a voice and that you matter and that you're doing so much now with being able to advocate spread your word share your experience which that's how we learn is from one another and people with lived experience who have gone through these things right so I am so grateful for you and saying yes and then being willing to have the courage to stand up on that stage even though you weren't sure you know and now it sounds like you're feeling pretty comfortable. I wasn't sure I was gonna fall off the chair yes those are like bar stools aren't they yeah yeah yeah oh man this is awesome you've shared so much with me honestly Lisa it's helped me find purpose in caregiving and realizing my experience matters but I have to be humble at the same time that I was fortunate enough not to have a job not to have a family like children or significant others to worry about that I could at that moment in time focus on my mom. Not everybody can do that and I don't want to seem like I'm advocating that people need to make the same sacrifice it it's just I I had the right set of circumstances that I was able to do that.

Lisa 43:06

And if I can do a small thing now to help change things yeah so we normally would do like a post you know evaluation and and so you and I have done that a little bit mostly through email but this is the first time really that we've talked you know this much about what it was like and what's come from it. So I I really appreciate you sharing it in this way for the podcast. And I think it's also highlighted like there's lots of reasons to do a video but I think we covered a lot on not just the digital storytelling itself but also the fact that it's important for people with lived experience whatever that might be. So whether it's healthcare whether it's in a caregiving role or a receiving role or whatever it might be that it's important that we take the time and listen that you you feel like you matter that you have a voice on a platform to be able to share what's important to you. And also the purpose of the videos can be for so many different reasons right so it doesn't have to be hard was the other thing we talked about.

Beth 44:16

Does have to be hard and that they can be used for education they can be used for advocacy they can be therapeutic like there's yeah the fact that I shared in Calgary to a whole audience that I and live stream that yeah I'm struggling I keep thinking I didn't do all that I could and yeah to publicly admit that is in some respects I think a really good therapy just to yeah I'm struggling rather than keep everything internal.

Training, Boards, And Support Groups

Lisa 44:49

Yeah and I I especially want to note what you said about it being a lonely road yeah and that it can feel very isolating and I hope that you felt not I don't mean just me but I hope this has led to feeling more of a connection more of a sense of community um because I loneliness and social isolation those are these are all key terms right now and always but we're always bringing more attention to it on what an epidemic it is right so yeah I'm glad and I'm thankful that you're talking about it.

Beth 45:30

Yeah and what helps in those situations we need to get away from the stigma and be able to to focus on who people are as individuals and how we can make life joyful and not every not every day is going to be the same there's no textbook path for dementia it can I've used the metaphor analogy of waves and you're on this shore and sometimes they come close to you and sometimes the waves carry them away and it comes and goes.

Lisa 46:05

Well Beth this is I think such a well an important meaningful and inspiring conversation and I value you so much for your message your time your patience your humor well you as you heard how this story slam has has given me this advocacy role yeah I can't thank you enough because it's without you I wouldn't have gotten where I am ah you're too kind thank you Beth you're too kind thanks for listening today if you enjoyed this episode take a minute to look at the show notes for resources and links and be sure to leave me a rating and review. And also you can follow the show so that you get notified of when the next one comes out and lastly if you can think of somebody in your life who you think would enjoy this podcast I hope you share it with them as well so that they can listen in on the conversations and ponder how to capture their own essence. Take care and I look forward to the next time