NeuroShifts
Dr. Randy Cale is a psychologist and brain-change expert who offers brief but impactful episodes on rewiring the brain and body for lasting and purposeful change.
NeuroShifts
Breaking the Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why we don't do what's good for us
In this episode, we explore four critical reasons we avoid what's best for us: our brain's reward-seeking nature, the unreliability of feelings as decision-makers, the powerful autopilot of habitual behaviors, and the motivation trap that keeps us waiting for inspiration that never comes. More importantly, we offer five practical, science-backed strategies to break free from this cycle: honoring intentions over feelings, making first steps tiny, stacking new habits onto existing routines, expecting discomfort as a normal part of growth, and celebrating actions rather than outcomes.
Real change doesn't happen through dramatic gestures or perfect days—it emerges from those ordinary moments when you choose growth over comfort, especially when you don't feel like it. If you've struggled with following through on what you know is good for you, this episode provides the psychological insights and practical tools to finally break that cycle and create lasting change. And if you feel your brain itself might be part of what's holding you back, learn how neurofeedback training can help both adults and children get unstuck by improving focus, regulation, and follow-through naturally. See the presentation here: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1exLQXIzuCM9cG3uTST1spWjQ1VJeg80X5FAeNkTLyKU/edit?usp=drive_link
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Why we don't do what's good for us and how to change that. Now I hear it all the time from clients, often with a sheepish grin and a perfectly reasonable excuse. Dr Kale, I was going to meditate but then my dog gave me that look and Netflix autoplayed. And well, here we are. Or I meant to go to bed early, but I got a little hungry and then Instagram needed me, so yeah, bed early, but I got a little hungry and then Instagram needed me, so yeah. Or I promised I wouldn't yell at my kids a thousand times, but yet they pushed my button again yesterday. It's human, it's perhaps a bit charming and it's absolutely predictable. Generally, most of us know what's good for us, right. Generally, we don't need a psychologist to tell us that sleep, exercise, healthy food, less phone and TV, perhaps more walks in the woods and some mindfulness practices they are all helpful. Most of us know this, but still we don't often follow through. Why? Let's explore why this happens and, more importantly, what you can do to break the cycle, why we keep avoiding what's best for us.
Speaker 1:One. Our brains chase immediate rewards. Your brain is wired for now. It evolved to seek comfort, safety and quick wins like food, rest or entertainment. That's why reruns and snacks are more appealing than yoga and gratitude journals.
Speaker 1:Two feelings hijack our best intentions. We often wait to feel like doing something before we do it. But feelings are fickle. If we're tired, bored, anxious or overwhelmed, we avoid the very things that would help us most. Emotions aren't reliable navigators for long-term change. I talked about this last week. Remember. Three habits run the show Most behaviors on autopilot. Without deliberate effort. Your old routines keep driving the bus, even if they're heading straight for a wall. Habit wins over willpower nearly every time.
Speaker 1:Four motivation is a trap. People say I just need to get motivated. Nope, motivation isn't the cause of action, it's the result. Action comes first. Then the motivation shows up. Think of it as that friend who always arrives 20 minutes late but still wants credit. In short, your brain is like a lovable but lazy roommate. It wants the cookie, the nap and the comfort zone, and it's extremely persuasive. Unless you learn to take charge, you'll be surrounded by broken resolutions and half-finished self-improvement projects. But here's the good news you can outsmart your brain. You just need a few key strategies Now how to start doing what you know is good for you. Each of these is a big deal, a really big deal. So keep in mind that we are just touching the surface here, but if you can appreciate the power of any one of these, you could unleash an entirely new trajectory for yourself, if you want.
Speaker 1:One honor your intentions, not your feelings. Treat your word like a contract. If you told yourself you'd go for a walk at 6 pm, go, even if you're tired, grumpy or not feeling it. This trains the brain to respect your leadership. Two make the first step tiny. Set the bar so low that starting feels effortless. Want to meditate? Just sit still for one minute. Want to exercise? Just put on your sneakers. Action beats overthinking every time.
Speaker 1:3. Stack new habits onto old ones. Attach your new habit to an existing routine. Stretch after brushing your teeth, journal after coffee. Pairing makes change easier and stickier.
Speaker 1:Four expect discomfort. Doing good things for yourself often feels awkward or annoying at first. That's not failure, it's growth. Change lives just past the edge of comfort. So if it feels weird, you're on track. Five celebrate the action, not the outcome. Don't wait until you run the marathon or write the book. Celebrate showing up. Every effort counts and reinforcing progress builds lasting change. The final thoughts Real change happens in small moments, when you commit to small, consistent actions, especially when you don't feel like it, real change becomes inevitable. The life you want isn't built in dramatic gestures or perfect days. It's built in those ordinary moments when you choose growth over comfort. And if you feel stuck in old patterns, it may not just be habit, it may be the brain itself. At Capital District Neurofeedback we help both adults and children get unstuck by training the brain to focus, regulate and follow through more naturally. It's gentle, evidence-based and often surprisingly effective, especially when old strategies have failed. Curious Visit CapitalDistrictNeurofeedbackcom or reach out for a free consultation. We'd be honored to help.