04 - Be Your Best Boss - How Dana Stevens Redefined Success

In this episode of Between the Bells, I’m joined by career change coach Dana Stevens – and what a powerful conversation we had.

Dana shares her story of moving from a high-pressure role in the advertising industry to creating a business that works for her, not the other way around. We talk about the tipping point that made her say, “That’s it – I’m done,” how she started her coaching business while still working part-time, and why finding community was the biggest game-changer for her confidence and growth.

Dana also offers brilliant insights on managing mindset, staying motivated during tough patches, and the difference between celebrating your wins and actually feeling proud. Her homework assignment – “Be Your Best Boss” – is something every business owner needs to hear.

🔗 Connect with Dana:
 Website: danastevenscoaching.com
Instagram: dana_stevens_coach

🎙️ Edited with precision by podcast editing master, Mike Roberts of Making Digital Real 

⏺️ Got feedback, a question, or want to be on the show? Leave me a voice message by CLICKING HERE – we might even feature it in a future episode!

✨ Subscribe, follow, and share with anyone who’s growing their business between the bells.

🔗 Connect with Rebecca on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rebeccanewenham
🌐 Learn more about Get Ahead: getaheadva.com

Transcript

And I really made a pact with myself that like, I've got to do something to make sure that I'm going back to a different pace of life. Because I knew that I was teetering on the brink of burnout really. And I was always just about surviving, but it was, it was a lot. 

And I was always telling everyone I was busy, and I was always stressed. And I just knew I couldn't carry on doing that for another 10-15 years. Hello, and welcome to Between the Bells.

Growing a business in school hours. This is a podcast for ambitious entrepreneurs who are building successful businesses within school hours. I'm your host, Rebecca Newenham, founder of outsourcing agency Getahead, franchise consultant, business mentor, and host of LinkedIn Local. 

If you're a parent, carer, or just someone who doesn't want to be tied to the traditional nine to five, then you're absolutely in the right place. This podcast is all about proving that you can build a thriving business while still being there for school drop offs, pickups, and everything in between. I am delighted today to be joined on Between the Bells with Dana Stevens. 

Dana is a coach helping women change careers. And I know you're going to love this episode because Dana is so real. She's had a fantastic corporate career, but recognised the need in her to set up something for herself. 

And she talks a lot about finding communities of like-minded, strong women that can really inspire us. Also, the importance of connection, finding that connection. And I have to say, I've absolutely loved her homework assignment. 

I won't spoil it too much, but being our best boss, if I can say that without getting in a muddle, is her way of allowing us all to celebrate our successes, however they may be, but also spending some time in acknowledging how far we have come in running our own business. So I know you're going to find this jam-packed episode, and I can't wait for you to hear more from the wonderful Dana. So Dana, welcome to Between the Bells. 

Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here. Oh, it's a real treat. 

Obviously, we met through careering into motherhood, didn't we? And then we had the privilege of sitting next to each other for some drinks. And so it's so lovely I've actually met you face-to-face. And you were just who I'd hoped you'd be, which often you hope, don't you? When you've met someone online, and then you actually meet them face-to-face.

It's lovely to meet you, and lovely retreat to have you on with me today. So I think before anything, what I love, and I am very aware of the support that you give women in that critical time of changing careers. So I'm really interested if you could just sort of share how you've got the service and support that you're offering now. 

Yeah, well, I actually have changed careers myself twice, which is now why I specialize in helping women change careers. Originally, I started working for the BBC, and I was a radio producer. That was my dream job.

But there was a time in my life where I wanted to be building up finances, trying to buy a flat. And I changed careers then for quite pragmatic reasons. I wanted more progression, more money.

And I tell that story because I think it's interesting and useful for people to realize that it's not always about finding a purpose and a passion. Sometimes you want to change careers for practical reasons, for money, or for something else. And I went from doing something I loved to doing something very practical. 

I moved into social media, online content creation, which I still enjoy, don't get me wrong. But then I moved out of the BBC and ended up working in creative agencies, ended up doing content, social media, and moved into advertising where I was doing strategy, which was my last job where I was head of strategy at a big London ad agency. And it was during that time, it was just before COVID, it was probably about 18 months where I was trying to work out what my next role was. 

And I kept looking upwards. So I kept going for job interviews, and I was interviewing for planning partner roles. And I was also interviewing in-house different places. 

I got offered quite a few jobs actually, and it just didn't feel right. And I couldn't really work out why. Just before COVID, I actually got a job in another agency as a planning partner. 

But then during COVID, it really was a period for lots of people of reflection and what they really wanted from life. And I was seeing my kids, which sounds revolutionary, but I hadn't been. I was working such long hours before when they were with a childminder all the time.

And I enjoyed seeing my kids. And I, you know, like so many people, that pace of life was revelatory to me. And I remember thinking, like so many people did, I don't want to go back to doing the same. 

I want things to be different. And I really made a pact with myself that like, I've got to do something to make sure that I'm going back to a different pace of life. Because I knew that I was teetering on the brink of burnout really. 

And I was always just about surviving, but it was a lot. And I was always telling everyone I was busy and I was always stressed. And I just knew I couldn't carry on doing that for another 10, 15 years. 

And mindset work and coaching just was revelatory to me. And it changed how I thought about myself and my future. And I just thought, wow, I can really decide what I want to do and I can create a life that works for me. 

And I just fell in love with coaching, retrained as a coach and started setting up my coaching practice whilst working part-time in my advertising job until I could run my business on my own full-time. And that was my journey to it really. Oh, I love that. 

And that feeling of being able to suddenly switch off the advertising agency must have been daunting, but amazing, I imagine. So real mix. Yeah. 

And actually, I often tell this story to people because again, I work with clients, we help them sort of plan their exit strategy. I had a much longer plan. I was intended to stay in the advertising job for at least probably another nine months. 

And I talked to my partner about that and we'd worked out the finances. And then there was just a day when there was a lot going on on a certain pitch. And I came off the call and I went down to my partner and said, I'm going to hand in my notice today. 

And he was like, oh, okay, that wasn't the plan. And I went, yep. And he was like, okay, lucky I've got an amazingly supportive partner.

And I just knew, I just knew it was the time and I had to, yeah, I had to make changes. And so I say that to people because you can have a great plan on paper, but sometimes you'll just get to that point where you're like, nope, it's time. It's time to go. 

No, absolutely. And it's going with that feeling, isn't it, as well and trusting your gut and knowing that actually it is going to be okay. And I find what's interesting, you're so natural on Instagram and I can now understand why with your creative background, because you're one of my, I always watch your videos and you've always got things to share and that's really valuable.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I think it is that point of trusting yourself. 

And it's interesting when I first started coaching, actually, I was coaching small businesses around content and content creation. And just because this might be helpful for some of the people who are struggling with social media, it is about shifting from thinking about yourself to shifting about the other person and what they want and need to hear. So if you can get really in your own head about, oh God, what do I look like on stories and what am I saying? But if you really think about, well, what does my client or potential client want or need to hear, and that's your focus, then you can sort of get out of your own head a little bit more and it can make it feel easier for you.

And it does become a bit more natural. No, I love that. And actually, Laura, who is on the episode before you, she's a copywriter and she said exactly that, her homework assignment was to talk to the audience, talk to that one person. 

And I think we can go, I've got so many different pieces that I've got to talk to. And if you relax and just actually streamline it like that, it makes such a difference. Oh, brilliant, Donna. 

Thank you for that. So we're going to move into your quickfire questions. So have you got a favourite tool or a lesson you'd like to share with us? Yeah. 

So the favourite tool is actually related to social media. It's actually Canva. So I know lots of people already know about Canva. 

It's almost like a graphic design tool that helps you create content. But I honestly think it's been revolutionary for my business. It saves me so much time. 

And when I first moved out of radio and I worked in online content creation in the BBC, I was working in a team where we were in charge of lots of webpages, the homepages for BBC One, BBC Two and BBC History. Those things existed back then. We used to spend hours using Photoshop to create images, resize images, and then checking each other's images. 

And I just think about that now and think, God, we've got such access to such an amazing creative tool with Canva. You don't have to be good at graphic design. There's so many templates that already exist. 

And again, we can get so in our heads about the content we're putting out on social media. And there's these amazing tools that are there for you now that can make it feel very easy. Also, I've always used Canva to create my logos. 

I mean, again, I had a different business name when I first started, but I downloaded a free toolkit from someone about how to create a brand logo. I used Canva. Then when I rebranded a bit later on, I used Canva again.

And I'm saying that because sometimes people tell themselves, oh, I can't launch until I've got a graphic designer to do my logo, or I can't launch until I've worked out my brand colors. I just sat down with Canva and just did it one day for a couple of hours. And it can be that easy. 

And I just want people to know that you can get started. And I told myself at the beginning, oh, when I start making money, I might work with a graphic designer down the line. But I haven't felt the need to. 

I'm not saying I won't. Maybe I will one day. But I just want people to know that you don't have to put these barriers in front of yourself, thinking your business has to be this big, overly professional enterprise to get started. 

You can start small. You can make it easy. Just get yourself started. 

Get going. Get moving with the business. And you'll learn and develop and grow as you get started. 

No, I love that because I think we can naturally put blockers in, can't we? Until I get this perfect, I can't possibly do it. Then actually, you just need to take action. Absolutely. 

Yeah. And with everything I do, whether it was my first set of coaching when I was helping coach small business owners, but even now when I'm coaching people to change careers, it's strategy. Of course, we talk about strategy, whether that's your CV and interview technique, but it's the mindset. 

It's like, what are the things that are stopping you take action? What are the things you're thinking? What's true about it? It might be I need a logo, but then what can you do about it? What do you need to be thinking differently that's going to go and help you do it? I.e. it can be easy. It can take less time than I think. It can be cheaper than I think if I spend, watch a YouTube video and learn how to do it myself on canvas. 

It's always when you're facing procrastination, especially in your business, asking yourself, what am I telling myself that's getting in my way and how can I be thinking differently about it to get moving forward? Because when you're running your own business, being in momentum is the best thing to keep moving forward, to keep learning. No, I love that. No, brilliant. 

And then in terms of bell ring a moment, Donna, is there one piece of sort of important advice you'd give us? Yeah, absolutely. So for me, I was really thinking about this, like, what's the one thing that's helped me progress in business? And it is without a doubt being in communities of other strong women. And I know that sounds quite obvious, but I honestly, just when I first started, I guess I had some conditioning from being in the corporate world. 

And I remember some of the first communities I was in seeing women earning lots and lots of money, but running businesses with integrity. And coming from the corporate background I've been in, I was like, oh, wow, they're really nice to their employees. And they're really nice to each other. 

And there isn't that kind of energy of like, oh, we're all going to die unless we're doing this right now in this moment. It was just such a different vibe and atmosphere to how all these women were running their businesses. And yet they were still making lots of money. 

And that just blew my mind because again, even surrounding yourself with women who are making lots of money and are unapologetic about it, and they're also doing it in a way that's with integrity and with an energy that is, you know, that overused word authentic, but they're not, they're not like really pushing for the sale. Like you can see a lot of stuff online, you know, what people call like bro marketing, right? Which is really like sell, sell, sell. But actually there was a lot of women who will show you how to market, how to sell in integrity in a way that feels very confident without being arrogant. 

And I think surrounding yourself by those women are important. And for me, I'm very lucky in that I've got a very amazing business coach in the community that she has, which has lots of coaches, but it's, it's a business coach that works with coaches. That community has just been everything for me. 

And I would not be as far ahead in my business without that community, because I have through that, I have seen women struggle at all stages of their business and heard how they've got through it. But I've also seen women just blow my mind with what their success can look like, both in terms of the money that they're bringing in, but also balancing family life, living in a way where they've got time for themselves, selling in a way that they feel like they're in integrity and they're not being salesy as it were. And all of that stuff has just changed my whole approach to my business, but also what I think is possible for me. 

And so I have bigger and bigger goals and dreams for myself and my business that just keeps me motivated. So if you can find your people, find your tribe, whether it's through a coach or an online entrepreneur community, that can be the thing that can keep you going and keep you motivated. Because sometimes it can be tough to do that if you're working on your own. 

So finding where to I think if you've been let loose into that whole environment of self-employment, it can feel really daunting, can't it? And we all know it's not just about money. The flexibility is really important, but it's actually seeing real life people doing it. Yeah. 

And well, which is interesting, I will say I wouldn't be married or have any friends left if I hadn't had mentoring and coaching over the last 14 years. And those communities are vital, aren't they? Whether it's face-to-face local ones going into London or the online piece. And I love that your coach has that community because it's really sort of nurturing as well as, like you said, motivating.

Yeah. Yeah. And just, you know, even if you're at a stage where you can't afford a coach, before I could afford to work with my coach, I was listening to her podcast all the time and I was trying to meet up with people online. 

And it's such an obvious thing, but just meeting people where you're sharing your struggles. Because again, especially if you're working from home and then you're on your own and you can get in your head and think, oh, something's wrong with me. I'm broken. 

Everyone else online looks like they're doing it. They all have a conversation where you're like, oh no, it's completely normal to have days where I don't even know what I'm doing, or I'm feeling so overwhelmed with my to-do list, or I just can't be bothered to do anything. And then other days where I'm flying and just for that to just be normalised by talking to other people about it just helps you think, okay, I'm not broken.

I'm just having a bad day or a bad week and I can go again and let's keep moving forward. Thanks, Darlene. And then in terms of a school drop-off shout out, it's interesting. 

A couple of my guests say, well, I no longer do the school drop-off, but I guess we've all been there at some point, haven't we? So would you like to share for this? Well, again, I don't want to sound too corny, but for me it is about trying to find, enjoyment might be too strong a word, but trying to kind of find the connection in it maybe is a better word than enjoyment. Because for many of us, one of the reasons that we do want to start our business is if you've got a family, and obviously some people don't, but if you've got a family, it's because you want that connection with your child. And for me, it was part of why I wanted to start my own business. 

Before I was up at six, I was on the train to London at seven. I didn't get to take my kids to school. They were dropped off at Childminder. 

They had breakfast there. I picked them up at like six o'clock at night when they were exhausted. I never got to take them to school. 

So for me, I have constantly been reminding myself, I get to do this, even on the mornings when it's really, really hard. And I've had to yell at my children to put their shoes on a hundred times. And we've had to go back for the PE bag. 

And they're arguing in the car. Just reminding myself, I get to do this. And that's not about telling yourself, oh, this is amazing.

There's like rainbows and daisies. And aren't we all having a lovely time? It's like, no, this is messy. It can be stressful. 

We might even be arguing, but there's a day I'm going to miss this. This is what it's about. This is real family life. 

And my eldest son now, he walks to secondary school. He's just in year seven. But already I miss that connection. 

I miss that we have that time at the beginning and end of our day to talk. He didn't always talk to me, don't get me wrong, often told me there was nothing that happened that day at school. So there's just trying to, as you say, lots of people you talk to, they no longer do the school drop off. 

And maybe some people are happy about it, but it does always pass quickly. And my youngest now is in year four. So I'm telling myself, right, you've only got two more years really. 

And just try and be present in it, even if you can't enjoy it, because there will be a time when it's not there. And I do just constantly feel lucky, honestly, that I get to do it because I couldn't do it for so long. And this is why I've started my own business, to have these moments of connection, and even have these moments of disagreeing about the shoes or everything else, or whatever it is we're arguing about. 

It's like that's family life. And I'm going to accept it in all its messiness, because this is what I wanted. This is what I wanted to be here. 

It's a privilege to have those opportunities, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, no, that's a really good reminder. Thank you. 

And then finally, Dana, your homework assignments. I'm loving these homework assignments, because they're all so varied. So share yours with us. 

Yeah, yeah. So homework assignments. So this is something, actually, I talk to quite a few of my clients about, you know, some of my clients go on to start their own businesses. 

And it's about being your own best boss. It's also advice that I obviously have to remind myself to do as well. So many of us start our own businesses, because we haven't got what we needed from the corporate world or from working for somebody else. 

Whether that is flexibility, or whether that's validation. Like one of the biggest things that people say to me when they're unhappy in their current role is that they're not being valued. They're not being acknowledged. 

The work they're being doing is invisible and people can't see it. And so when you're running your own business, it can be really useful to stop and spend time and go, if I could be my own best boss, what would I be doing for me? If I could have any boss in the and they would know me personally and know what would personally motivate me, what would I want them to be doing for me? Right? So for some people, that's going to be, I want to have my birthdays off, which is something I always do, by the way. There's something I want to be finishing early on a Friday, especially in the summer. 

I want to go to yoga on a Wednesday lunchtime. And I don't want to be made to feel bad about it. Right? And it's like, you do get to be your own boss. 

So you can just say to yourself, I'm going to do all of those things and I'm not going to feel guilty and I'm not going to make myself feel bad. And I'm not going to tell myself I should be doing other things in those times. I'm going to be the own ideal boss in those examples. 

But more than that, that the thing that really matters for most people is that sense of feeling valued and acknowledged. And that's the thing as business owners, we don't usually do. We're like onto the next thing, onto the next thing. 

We've all got never ending to do lists. And we're like, we might complete a big project or get to a kind of goal, whether it's income goal or a business goal. And then traditionally, I think, especially as busy women, we're like right onto the next thing. 

But that's exactly what we would be moaning about if our boss did to us if we were in the corporate world, not acknowledging us. So stop and sit with it and spend time with it, whether that's carving out time once a week or once a month to really celebrate what you've actually done. Or even if celebrate feels too much, acknowledge. 

Write a list of what are the amazing things that I've actually done this week? What am I proud of myself for? Maybe it didn't even go well. Maybe I had a difficult conversation with a client, and I'm OK. And maybe I didn't get the result I wanted, but I'm OK. 

And well done me for putting in the effort. Or maybe I had to go and learn some accounting software, and it made my brain explode, and I stuck with it. Well done me for doing that. 

And it sounds really basic, but we just don't do it enough. So my homework assignment would be to go and write down after this what would your ideal boss look like? How would they make you feel? What would they be doing for you? What's the practical things they would be doing, whether that's time off or flexibility? What would they be doing in terms of acknowledging your effort, your input, your results? And then try and commit to doing that for yourself. What can you put into your diary in the long term? Is it a three-month check-in? Is it a weekly check-in? Is it an every morning check-in or an end of day before you close your laptop at night? You're reminding yourselves of three things that actually you did that went well. 

Or even you did, and maybe they didn't go well, but you still did them. Which is a lot of business, right? We might not always go well, but we're learning. We're always learning as an entrepreneur. 

And I think acknowledging the fact that you're trying and you're learning new things as an entrepreneur, if you don't do that, it can constantly feel like a struggle and you can constantly be focusing all the things you haven't achieved rather than all the things that you've learned. Because especially at the beginning, you might not be getting the sales, you might not be hitting your income goals, but you'll have learned so much because you have to. You will be wearing all the different hats because you have to. 

And you've got to be acknowledging all of that along the journey to keep yourself motivated, to keep yourself inspired to be moving forward. Because the income and the sales, they will come later, but you've got to stay motivated, especially at the beginning. Or even if you're in a difficult part of change or evolution in your business, to keep moving forward. 

So be your best boss and acknowledge yourself and give yourself the days off, but also the pats on the back when you need them. They are vital, aren't they? So I love that. Be your best boss.

Right. And it's my birthday tomorrow and I have got the day off. I'm being my best boss.

Happy birthday. Yes. I'm very much of that belief. 

If I look back to my life in the corporate world, in inverted commas, it wasn't where I wanted to be. And that acknowledgement of validation is vital, isn't it? Yeah. As bosses, as leaders of our own business, of teams, it's just critical that we acknowledge things and we share with other people. 

And we do it to other people as well, I think. Exactly. Exactly. 

And that's something I was actually working with my coach on this last week because I was doing the same thing. I'd just surpassed a goal I'd set for myself. And I was sort of saying to her, and this is what I want to do next. 

And she was like, no, no, no, hang on. Cool. Just spend some time acknowledging. 

So I'm totally guilty of it. Just spend some time really acknowledging what's happened and allowing yourself to feel proud. And she said something really interesting to me, which might be helpful. 

She was like, have you sat and felt proud? And I was like, yeah, yeah. And she's like, no, no, no, not just told yourself you're proud, like really felt it in your body, like receive it, receive the feeling. She's like, again, if you're in a corporate setting, someone might say something nice to you and you might sort of brush it off when you move on because you're in the next meeting.

And she's like, you need to sit with it and be like, God, I really do feel proud. And as women, we often don't, we're not always comfortable being on the receiving end of a very positive feeling. I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, but we're often supporting others and we might be building other people up. 

And people often say this to me, I find it hard to congratulate myself or feel proud of myself. And what that often means is literally pausing with the feeling and being like, I'm going to, even if it's for 30 seconds or a minute, allow myself to feel proud of myself and sit with the feeling, receive the feeling as a woman, as a mum and let myself be on the receiving end of the praise for a while before I'm moving on to the next thing. That is a lovely way to end this episode, Dana. 

Feel proud. Thank you so much. I've loved our conversation today and I'll be sharing in the show notes how everyone can connect with you.

And I would say absolutely find Dana on Instagram. She's fabulous. Oh, thanks, Rebecca. 

It's been an absolute pleasure.