16 - Daily Rituals, Big Results - Bev Wilkinson's Coaching Secrets

What if your goals weren’t the problem - but your systems were?

In this uplifting and honest episode, Rebecca chats to long-time friend and business coach Beverlie Wilkinson. From colour-coded glass boards to daily candle lighting rituals, Bev shares the habits and mindset shifts that have shaped her personal growth and supported her clients for over a decade.

They explore the power of journaling (and why giving yourself a ‘GALE’ might just change your life), how to stay anchored through seasons of change, and why Radio 4 is her secret to a grounded start to the day. Bev also unpacks a favourite quote from Atomic Habits and shares a brilliant model to help you move from comfort zone to growth zone - without tipping into panic.

Whether you're seeking a more consistent routine or the courage to pivot, this conversation is full of practical wisdom and joyful insight.

🎧 Grab a cuppa, light a candle, and enjoy.

🎙️ Edited with precision by podcast editing master, Mike Roberts of Making Digital Real

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Transcript

So few people acknowledge their achievements and then it will come to appraisal time and they'll be like, what have I done? So journaling, collecting gales, even if you don't do it on a daily basis, weekly, monthly, quarterly, you need that acknowledgement of what you're achieving and how you're progressing and acknowledging yourself. So I am back with Between the Bells season two. Refreshed after a fabulous summer and raring to go with a sense of positivity. 

So I know you're going to love today's episode. It's with a really good friend of mine, Beverly Wilkinson. Bev and I have known each other probably over the last 10 years and we met at a networking event and I became one of her earliest clients and she was my coach for the last 10 years.

And if it wasn't for Bev, I don't think I'd have done a number of the things I've done within my get ahead business and develop personally. So I know you're going to be in for a treat. We're going to cover a wide range of topics as usual, and I know you're going to love her homework assignment. 

So without further ado, we will launch this episode of Between the Bells. So today I am absolutely thrilled to be joined by the fabulous Beverly Wilkinson. Bev, welcome to Between the Bells. 

Thank you. Thank you. It's lovely to be here.

Thank you for inviting me. Not at all. It's a real treat.

So Bev, we've known each other a very long time, scaredy, and you feel like you've been very much part of my business journey, being a business coach of mine for a number of years. So it is wonderful to have you on today. And I'm really excited to hear what you're going to share with everybody. 

So I think let's get started on my lovely quickfire questions. So could you share perhaps your favourite tool, daily routine with us? Yes, so sure. So like daily routine, I do something quite funny. 

Like I light a candle in my office because I just, I feel like it's like, you know, putting the lights on, putting your open sign. It just, that feels good. I also journal first thing in the morning. 

I know some people like to do it at the end of the day, but I do it first thing in the morning as a sort of review of what happened yesterday. I've also got my weekly planner that then I check how I'm doing. Obviously on the Monday it might get up. 

Those are my favourite tools. And then sort of like stretching further out, I have a glass board in my office, which I use a dot system for. And the dots are, the blue dots mean coaching sessions, red dots mean workshops, green mean new business. 

And just like looking at that board, I find hugely motivational and because it's me, because it's nuggets, they have to be colour. Of course. And I think that's what I've always picked up because I'm similar to you in that, in that visual piece. 

And that's when we were coaching together. I really appreciated that. And it's interesting that I've now got my vision board and I often think of you when I look at that. 

And it's interesting, I'd like to talk a bit more about your journaling piece because I feel I want to journal more, but I've sometimes sat there a bit like meditation and thought, where do I start? So it's interesting that you choose to reflect on the day before. I rather like that because it's sort of less sort of wooey in terms of, I suppose you've got clarity, haven't you then when you start? Yeah. And it's taken quite a while because like you, I'm not necessarily, you know, I'm not that comfortable of just like, Oh, space, you know, I'm very practical. 

I'm very hands-on. And so I struggled a little bit to begin with. And it became a little bit like, Oh, I had this for lunch or I went here and I was like, why am I doing this? This isn't got any meaning to it. 

But I work with a coach myself and she gave me a really good technique, which is called give yourself a Gale because she has an assistant called Gale and Gale stands. What were you grateful for? What did you achieve? What do you want to improve? And what did you learn? And I find giving myself a Gale of the day before is so brilliant because I can then think, what was I grateful for? I have to just check the Gales from time to time as well, because I can get a bit samey of like, Oh, I was grateful for my walk or I was grateful for, you know, my kids, Sophie and Ollie. And I think actually, yeah, it's digging a little bit deeper. 

Like what were you really grateful for? And then the achievement as well. It doesn't always have to be work related. You know, sometimes I can just acknowledge myself. 

And I found that really interesting from a coaching perspective that so few people acknowledge their achievements and then it will come to appraisal time and they'll be like, what have I done? So journaling, collecting Gales, even if you don't do it on a daily basis, weekly, monthly, quarterly, you need that acknowledgement of what you're achieving and how you're progressing and acknowledging yourself. Yes. And I think it's the acknowledging yourself piece, isn't it? Is he not? And I've just listened or, you know, I love Mel Robbins and her podcast this week on Monday was around the eight things, the eight questions to ask yourself first thing in the morning. 

And I think print those out because again, it's sort of setting yourself up for success for the day ahead, isn't it? Rather than holding on to things. And do you find that you go back and read your daily journal pieces or? Not really, not really. And I made a decision. 

I think I started like five or six years ago and I have like I have, I'm looking up at my I have like the last years and sometimes I look back at that just quite funny, like, you know, like, oh, if there's a significant date or what did we do for Soph's birthday last year or something like that. But I then bin them because I don't want anybody to see them there. It's my space.

I find it really relaxing to start the day of just writing. And I think you can't get away from how lovely it is to have. Oh, I love stationery as well. 

So I have to have a nice pen. The journal is obviously beautiful. And that just gives me that nice feeling to start the day. 

But yeah, I do. I sometimes if it's been a tough week, I might look back at the gales, which is sort of the last bit of the journal. But yeah, I don't tend to reflect or use them as too much. 

So Beth, in terms of the bell ringer moment, then have you got one single sort of takeaway or piece of advice that you would give us? Yes. So I'm actually going to be I'm actually going to read you a quote because this is my favourite book and the book I recommend on a constant basis to my clients is Atomic Habits by James Clear. And to be honest, if you live your life by habits, systems and rituals, then it's just brilliant. 

It just gives you more freedom. And his quote is you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall fail to or fall to the level of your systems. Sorry, I didn't do that justice, did I? You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. 

And I think that's so true that if I get really busy, and some of my systems or habits go out the window, I then find actually the goals or the objectives are not as good as they should have been. Because the process of how you get to a goal or an objective is just gives you that anchor gives you that sort of like gives you the confidence to really reach success. And the moment that you shortcut it, or miss a system, then you're slightly discombobulated. 

And it's not as good. So I find with my coaching sessions, now I have, you know, set routine systems as to how I do I mean, like, it's funny, actually, talking to you, because obviously, when I was on my started out on my coaching journey, when I worked with you, but now you'd find it very different. I still use my post it notes. 

But I have key things I say, like, how do you feel at the end of session, then I get them to identify their key takeaways. And it's that system in that process that I think gives me the confidence and you know, gives them confidence as clients as well that I've got them. Yes. 

And I guess it's the habit forming piece. So they know what to expect, don't they then? And then they can get that feels comfortable and reassuring. Yeah. 

And have a look at that book. So I'm sure I know other people looking at my books now. I'm sure other people have recommended that site. 

Yeah, I'll have a look at that. That's interesting. Yeah. 

And I think, again, if I'm allowed just another bell in a moment, you are allowed. Yeah, I am allowed. I think also as well be prepared to pivot. 

So I think it's such a huge business thing. And in some ways, I wish I'd learned it earlier, because I think we all had to pivot with COVID. And I think in some ways, there was a fear before COVID as to whether I could pivot. 

But since COVID, I've pivoted all over the place. You know, I mean, predominantly, my business was workshops with a bit of coaching. Now it's coaching with a few workshops. 

And I just think that it's massive, massive to be able to pivot and to be agile. And, you know, I've changed the format of workshops as well. Do you want one hour online? Didn't think I could do a workshop online? Of course you can. 

You know, it's that. And I think that, yeah, pivoting and being agile is just huge bell ringer moment to me. Yeah. 

And you're living proof of how it's, how it's worked. Yeah. Fabulous. 

I like the fact you had two, Bev. Well done. I call this the school drop off shout out. 

I'm very aware, you know, with Soakie and Ollie, that's a long time ago now. But have you got a sort of fun shout out that you could relate to that? Well, you know, I did struggle with this a bit, because again, my life has changed so much that, yeah, I don't have a school run anymore. And then I thought, God, what is my moment? Because I don't go for a coffee. 

I'm here. And this is going to sound very dull, but it's quite funny. I would actually say it's Radio 4 in the Today programme, which my kids call Radio Bore, but it's really calming. 

And actually those Radio 4 presenters have become my friends. So I almost want to give them a shout out, because they have, they have those sort of BBC presenter voices that come into your home. And no matter how dramatic the news is, and I know a lot of people have been moving away from the news, but I feel I still need to be topical, still need to be current, particularly because of the people I'm seeing. 

And, you know, they cover sport business and obviously, yeah, world news, you know, UK news, just feel like calm, because they say it in such a reassuring way. Yes, it's like, we're going to be all right, Bev. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. And I think because you are generally on your own at home, it's, yeah, it's that feeling of comfort probably, isn't it? And again, pulls into your routine piece, because a number of my guests have got young kids, but then some haven't, and we've all had that familiar drop off in the past. I remember when we were working together, you'd be scooting back from doing a drop off in the car, and I'd be the same. 

But it all evolves, doesn't it? And I'm now looking out my window every morning, seeing the new infant school families arriving, and just how we evolve. But we still have those significant routines and things that signify, and I will never forget working with you, especially in September, it was always our lovely start back, wasn't it? And the school used shoes, and so we're going through that cycle again. And I always remember my mum saying when my brother finished school, she said, I don't have the terms to signify my routine anymore, but that evolves, doesn't it? And it means moving forward.

Yeah, and I've been doing some maternity coaching, and it was really sweet. A client said, this week, she said, I never thought I'd like having a habitual life. And I was like, that's a funny way of putting it. 

But she said that, you know, having the routine of a new baby, she said she's actually found really good, because she said there are lapses where you have that indecision. And I think if you have, you know, commitments, and you put routines and systems in place, so a bit like your mum, when, yeah, the school runs stopped, I did think, is there going to be this panic moment? How am I going to be? And I actually found, no, I have enough systems and processes and habits in place, that actually, I'm absolutely fine with it. But I fear for, and that's what I do, a lot of the work I do with clients is to get them to put those habits and systems in place. 

And to get them to, you know, think about what they want it to look like and be happy with it as well. Yes. And that's, that's absolutely it, isn't it? To be happy with them and realise you can tweak them over time. 

But no, brilliant. And I, because it's quite a celebrant hassle, I mean, my baby, you know, it means it's so lovely to be part of that beginning journey, the between the bells piece as well. So it's sort of both, both sides. 

So no, brilliant. So finally, Beth, then your homework assignment, and these are I always love these. So what are you going to leave us with? Okay, so my homework assignment is that there's a model I use on training workshops called, you know, getting into the growth zone. 

So if I were to draw it for you, and I'm doing my hands because I always use my hands, which isn't great for a podcast, is it? But if you think there is a centre circle, that is called your comfort zone, then there is a centre circle outside which is called your growth zone. And then it's in a square that's called your panic zone. And what happens is, if you were scared of snakes, and I said, right, Rebecca, you're going to hold a snake, I would put you straight into your panic zone. 

So what I do is, or what we suggest is to get you into growth zone is like, oh, you'll look at some pictures of some snakes, you might see somebody else hold a snake, and then eventually you might actually hold a snake yourself. So it's a bit like those TV shows where they overcome the fears and stuff. But if you take this into business, it's like, okay, so what is in a panic zone for you? Is it, you know, doing your social media? So then just think about gradual steps that can take you into a growth zone. 

And I think that's a great thing to just for everybody to think about things that are in their panic zone, and then take some gradual steps. And this isn't work related, but this is mine that I've done recently, which will make you laugh is I have joined a gym. Now, joining a gym was massively, massively in my panic zone. 

I'm 54. So and I've never been in a gym. So it was so scary. 

So I did a bit, I did some research. I wasn't like prepared to go to a personal trainer one to one, because I thought, oh, gosh, that's too much too intense, too intimidating. And I found somewhere where they do small sessions, you have a lovely meeting with a guy first, it just all of it felt right. 

And it felt that I was stepping in, I was still, you know, in growth zone, I was at stretch, it was really nerve wracking. But I did it in a way that worked for me. And I did it as well, not in the village as well. 

So no one knows me at the gym. But it was just that whole. So I advocate to everyone, think about those three circles, get out your comfort zone. 

And think what you can gradual steps to get into that growth zone, so that it's not something that stays in your panic zone. Because we can all stretch as I've proved at any age as well. And brilliant, well done. 

I'm really proud of you. It's brilliant. But in terms of panic zone, a panic zone for somebody could be getting up and doing presentation, couldn't it? So I suppose it then about the steps you would take to do that. 

So perhaps going to see a few, perhaps doing a presentation to just a small group. And then that could flow into perhaps doing something to a group of people you don't know. So no, that's really interesting.

Yeah. And in actual fact, as well, that's one of the ones we use as an example on the workshops as well of, yeah, like, because a lot of people, you know, fear presenting in public. So we say, okay, you know, present just to your line manager, present to the team meeting, and then present just to a department, then present to a whole studio. 

It's like, yeah, those steps to get them there. And then if, because there is a danger that you could go into the grey zone, and sometimes it can catapult you into panic. And then it's like going back. 

And the danger is some people retreat into comfort and think, I'm never going to do that again. So that's why it's got to feel right. Yeah. 

Yeah, that catapults and interesting. Yes. So we're brilliant. 

I knew you'd have a great homework assignment, Beth. Thank you. You've been wonderful. 

And like I said, before we start to record this, I could chat to you all day, which is the dangerous thing here. So I knew you'd be... Yes, Beth, thank you. Shared your wisdom with humour as always. 

So I really appreciate that. So thank you for joining us on Between the Bells. Thank you. 

It was lovely. I enjoyed it.