Pulling Threads - Curious, Chaos and Clarity

Midlife is like an overstuffed junk drawer—you know there’s something important in there, but first, you’ve got to pull everything out, untangle the mess, and figure out what’s actually worth keeping.

In this episode, we’re embracing the art of pulling threads—following our curiosity, questioning old stories, and making sense of the chaos (without needing all the answers right away). We’ll chat about:

🧵 Why curiosity is your secret weapon in midlife (even when life feels like a hot mess)
 🧵 How to notice the small clues leading you toward clarity
 🧵 The power of letting go—of old identities, expectations, and that voice in your head telling you you’re “too old” to start fresh

If you’re feeling stuck but don’t know where to start, maybe it’s time to tug on a loose thread and see where it leads.

🎧 Listen now—no need to have it all figured out, just bring your curiosity.

Want a beautiful one-page companion to this episode?
 Grab the free Midlife Clarity Map with reflective prompts that pair with the whole series.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Unravelling the Diary of a Midlife Mess. If something resonated with you today, I’d love to hear your thoughts, come join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @themessymiddlelife or visit https://sharonwilkesburt.com/ for more resources and support.

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you’re enjoying the journey so far! If you're ready to dig a little deeper into your own midlife transformation, check out my Journal through the Messy Middle course , it’s the perfect way to start untangling what’s next.

• Join me inside Journal Through the Messy Middle — a self-paced course to help you get clear, feel more like you again, and find solid ground in the wobbly bits of midlife.

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You’re not too late, too much, or too lost. This is just the middle ...and there’s gold in here.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Unravelling the Diary of a Midlife Mess A podcast for women who feel like they landed in this season unprepared, uninformed, and frankly bloody annoyed. One minute you're all Zen and spiritually awakened. The next, you're locked, loaded and ready to rip unleashing two full barrels of rage because your laptop is rainbow wheeling for no apparent reason.

It's a lucky dip, really.

My name is Sharon Wilkes-Burt. I am your host and, let’s be honest the midlife mess in question. I work mostly in the life coaching space, helping women who feel like they’ve somehow lost themselves along the way.

Today we're talking about curiosity  those little threads that start to show up when you're in the middle of figuring out who you are now and what’s next for you.

If you're here, chances are something in your life feels a little... off. Maybe you've already pulled at one thread  a change in job, relationships, or how you're looking at yourself and suddenly everything's started to unravel. Or maybe you haven't pulled at anything yet, but you're aware of this low-level hum under the surface, like there's something waiting to be noticed.

That's what we're exploring today what happens when you give those little tugs of curiosity your attention.

How Old Do You Feel?

A while ago, I was listening to a podcast and the host asked the 50-something-year-old guest how old she felt.

She answered seven years old.

That made me sit up because the most common response to that question is usually twenty-one  the heady days of freedom, pre-kids, with knees that could still survive a night on the dance floor without needing a physio appointments for the next 3 months

But seven? That was different.

The guest explained that getting curious in midlife had woken something up in hera sense of wonder she hadn't felt since she was a kid. She started noticing trees and flowers again, walking through piles of crunchy autumn leaves just for the hell of it, and feeling a flicker of delight at spotting a butterfly in her garden.

It made me think about how our relationship with curiosity changes at different stages of life.

At seven, curiosity is our default setting everything is new, everything is worth exploring. By twenty-one, curiosity often gets funneled into figuring out who we're going to be. What career will we choose? What life will we build?

By midlife, curiosity can feel like a luxury we no longer have time for or something we've packed away in favour of certainty and responsibility. But what if that very feeling of offness in midlife is actually our curiosity trying to make a comeback?

What if the rainbow wheel of life spinning endlessly is just a sign that our system is overloaded too many tabs open, too much trying to hold it all together — and the only way to reset is to pay attention to the little spinning circle... and get curious about what's underneath?

The VOICE Framework  A Map for Curiosity

Curiosity is how I started to unravel myself in midlife.

But here's the thing  it didn't feel like curiosity at first. It felt like frustration. Overwhelm. That itchy, scratchy sense that something was off, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what.

That's where journaling came in. 

Now I often speak to people who say “id love to journal but I have no idea where to start” 

” This comment always triggers my inner teacher. As a teacher/Educator , my goal has always been to break things down to the basics so that anyone can understand and learn the practice or theory.

I realised that the key to helping people start journaling was creating a simple framework a foundation they could easily follow. This led me to develop the VOICE framework. It’s designed to guide beginners step-by-step through the process of journaling, making it accessible and manageable, no matter where they’re starting from.

 VOICE stands for   Vent, Organise, Ideate, Cultivate, Elevate  its a guide that helped me process my thoughts, connect with my much wiser inner voice, and navigate through the absolute shitshow mess of midlife.

VENT — Making Space for Curiosity

Before curiosity can show up, often there's something sitting in the way  frustration, confusion, or just that low-level sense of stuckness.

The Vent stage is about getting all that noise out of your head and onto the page. No filter. No neat sentences. Just letting the mess spill out.

There’s a famous practice called Morning Pages from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way — writing two full pages of whatever's in your head. It can literally be: “I have nothing to write blah blah blah why does salt and vinegar remain the superior crisp flavour? Blah blah blah”

But something happens when you keep going. The mess starts to clear, and underneath, little threads start to appear  questions, patterns, or random memories you didn't even realise you were holding onto.

ORGANISE  Spotting the Threads

Once you've vented, the next stage is Organise — spotting the little glimmers that keep showing up.

It might be noticing you're writing a lot about wanting more time to yourself or that you keep mentioning a childhood hobby or a craving for more creativity. Those are your threads  the breadcrumbs your curiosity is leaving for you.

IDEATE  Following the Threads

This is where curiosity really kicks in. Ideate is about asking What if? without needing to know where the answer will lead.

What if I signed up for that art class I've been googling at 2am? What if I stopped dyeing my hair? What if I said no more often?

The journal is the perfect playground for these questions  a safe space to try ideas on for size without needing to act on them straight away.

CULTIVATE  The Power of Small Consistent Steps

The word Cultivate feels so much kinder than transform or reinvent. It's not about burning your life down and starting over  it's about tending to those tiny sparks of curiosity, little by little.

Reading one book.

Sitting in a café by yourself just to notice what thoughts come up.

Following a podcast rabbit hole on a random topic that lights you up.

It's easy to dismiss these small acts as pointless or indulgent. But small consistent steps are how we rebuild trust with ourselves.

ELEVATE What Happens When You Let Curiosity Lead

When you start following those little threads, something shifts.

You might not have all the answers yet, but you're no longer waiting for clarity to arrive fully formed. You're learning to trust that the next step will reveal itself once you take the first one.

Curiosity isn't about finding the answer it's about staying open to the questions.

If you're feeling curious about where your own threads might lead, the Journal through the Messy Middle course is designed to help you follow them — with kindness, not pressure.

I'll pop the link in the show notes if you'd like to know more.

If this episode landed with you, I’d love to hear what came up. Send me a DM or comment over on Instagram [@themessymiddlelife]. And if you haven't already, hit follow so you don't miss the next episode because we're all just figuring this out one messy middle day at a time.

Catch you next time, where we'll continue this beautiful messy midlife conversation.

Until then keep unravelling.