What if you just ... Started - A midlife experiment

You know that thing you keep saying you’ll do one day? The idea, the dream, the change you’ve been thinking about for ages? Well… what if you just started?

Midlife isn’t about having it all figured out—it’s about giving yourself permission to begin, even when it’s messy, uncertain, or totally out of your comfort zone. In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why waiting until you feel “ready” is a trap
•  How to embrace a midlife experiment mindset—because you don’t have to get it perfect, just get it going
•  The surprising magic of small, imperfect steps (even if you have no clue where they’ll lead)

If you’ve been feeling stuck on the edge of something new, this is your invitation to take the first step—no big plan required.

🎧 Listen now, and let’s start before we’re ready.

Want a beautiful one-page companion to this episode?
 Grab the free Midlife Clarity Map with reflective prompts that pair with the whole series.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Unravelling the Diary of a Midlife Mess. If something resonated with you today, I’d love to hear your thoughts, come join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @themessymiddlelife or visit https://sharonwilkesburt.com/ for more resources and support.

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you’re enjoying the journey so far! If you're ready to dig a little deeper into your own midlife transformation, check out my Journal through the Messy Middle course , it’s the perfect way to start untangling what’s next.

• Join me inside Journal Through the Messy Middle — a self-paced course to help you get clear, feel more like you again, and find solid ground in the wobbly bits of midlife.

👉 Journal Through The Messy Middle

• Want a gentle nudge each week to keep going? Come hang out in the Prompt Club - Monthly themes, weekly journaling prompts, and a live Journal Circle call to help you reflect, reset, and reconnect.

👉 Messy Middle Prompt Club

You’re not too late, too much, or too lost. This is just the middle ...and there’s gold in here.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Unravelling the diary of a midlife mess… 

A podcast for women who feel like they landed in this season unprepared, uninformed and frankly bloody annoyed . Some days you're an oracle with all the answers. Other days you're using Find My on your phone … to locate your phone, its a midlife lucky dip really!

My name is Sharon Wilkes-Burt. I am your host and, let’s be honest—the midlife mess in question. I work mostly in the life coaching space, helping women who feel like they’ve somehow lost themselves along the way.

Over the last few episodes, we've been exploring what it means to unravel in midlife  from the first wobbly realisations that something feels off, through navigating the layers of identities we adopted over the years, to giving ourselves permission to vent, get curious, and start spotting those little threads that are tugging at our attention.

Today, we're talking about Something New  The Art of Beginning Again.

It’s a phrase that sounds quite hopeful, isn't it? But I'll be honest when you're in the thick of it, the idea of beginning again can feel... well, exhausting. There's this expectation that midlife is all about reinvention like we're supposed to suddenly emerge from the chaos with a brand-new shiny purpose, ready to tick off our 'second act' bucket list.

But what if midlife isn't about reinventing ourselves at all? What if it's more about rediscovery?

What if it's about sifting through what's been stripped away  the roles, the beliefs, the expectations  and starting to notice the little sparks that have been there all along?

That's really what this whole podcast series has been about. Following those threads, getting curious, making space to hear ourselves again.

And this is where journaling has been such a lifeline for me  not as a tool to figure everything out, but as a practice of simply showing up. Of letting myself begin again on the page, day after day, even when I didn't have a clue where it would lead.

I think there's something really powerful about embracing the beginner mindset in midlife   This is very often a stage where we can be a little inclined to the “Yep been there done that!” You can’t teach me anything. 

But there’s a real kindness in giving ourselves permission to not have it all figured out. To try things on for size without needing them to become our next great passion or purpose.

Maybe beginning again looks like picking up a paintbrush after decades of telling yourself you're not creative. Maybe it's signing up for a dance class or walking into the gym, spending 5 minutes on a treadmill … doing something without needing to have a goal or outcome attached. Maybe it's writing down a few lines in a notebook each morning, even if all you can muster is 'I have absolutely nothing to say today.'

These small beginnings can feel almost laughably insignificant  especially in a world that loves a before-and-after transformation story. But I've learned that small and consistent, beats big and dramatic every time.

That's the essence of the Cultivate stage in the VOICE framework  those teeny, tiny acts of tending to ourselves without needing to see the whole garden in bloom just yet.

One of the things I've been coming back to again and again in this season of life is the idea of composting what's no longer needed so something new can grow. And honestly, most of what goes into the compost heap isn't glamorous  it's scraps, dead leaves, the stuff that's broken down and messy.

But underneath, something is quietly transforming.

That's what journaling has given me  a space to chuck everything onto the compost heap without needing to know what will bloom from it yet.

This whole journey of beginning again sounds so wholesome, doesn't it? Planting new seeds, tending to your own growth... all very chicken soup for the soul. But what I've found is that the hardest part isn't the planting — it's not knowing what will bloom from it yet.

As a coach, I'm often helping women move towards something  a goal, a vision, a new chapter. But when you've composted so much of your identity that you don't even know what you're moving towards anymore... that's a whole different kind of work.

When my unravelling began, I found myself in a constant tug-of-war trying to simultaneously let go of what no longer served me and tidy up the mess I’d created. I had started the process of closing down a business I’d run for over 20 years, and while there were plenty of practical moving parts demanding my attention, I was also dealing with a whirlwind of mental and emotional back-and-forth. One moment, I was thinking, I’m so done with this, and the next, I was questioning, What the hell have I just done?

There was so much I had to throw away old routines, outdated beliefs, things I’d clung to for far too long. But now, looking back, I realise that all that mess might just be the fertile ground I needed for something new to grow.

It's not just about taking action it's about learning to trust that something beautiful will poke through the soil eventually. Even when you can't quite picture what it will look like yet.

If you've listened along from Episode 1, maybe you're starting to notice those tiny shifts too. Maybe you're not rushing to tidy up the mess quite so quickly. Maybe you're starting to feel those little glimmers of curiosity  the questions rising, the threads asking to be followed.

That's something new.

And even if all you've done is pay a little more attention to yourself  that’s already a beginning.

Beginning again doesn't have to look like grand gestures or big reinventions. More often than not, it looks like the tiniest acts of self-trust. Picking up your journal even when you don't know what you'll write. Noticing what lights you up, even if you don't know why. Giving yourself permission to want something more, even if you don't know what more is yet.

That's why the Journal through the Messy Middle course exists  not to give you all the answers, but to give you a place to begin again with yourself, one small page at a time.

I'll pop the link in the show notes if you'd like to know more.

That’s it for this mini podcast series, I hope you’ve enjoyed listening. There maybe more to come. Maybe the opportunity to hear from other women in the messy middle, unravelling, composting, blooming … or I might just run away to that cottage in the woods.  Either way , hit follow so you’re the first to know. 

Catch you next time — until then, keep unravelling.