She Chose Love Over Brad Pitt: Bella Freeman on embodying the good life

What does it look like to build a life from the inside out not from a plan, but from instinct, love, and a refusal to let other people's opinions run the show?

This week on Unravelling, I'm sitting down with Bella Freeman — Perth-based entrepreneur, mentor, mum of two, and one of those humans who makes you feel like anything is possible just by being in her orbit.

Bella's story moves through boarding school in the UK, a teenage year living in Kentucky, a romance that started at a royal shoot and nearly ended in Hollywood, and the decision to choose love over a career trajectory that included press junkets with Brad Pitt. (Yes, really.) She talks about the OCD that surfaced after her parents divorced and quietly threaded through her life, the early years of motherhood in Australia when finances were tight and connection felt hard to find, and the business she almost didn't start because she was too worried about what people would think.

And then there's the chapter she didn't plan for — her eldest daughter's eating disorder, the hospital visits during COVID, and the relationship that deepened in the hardest of circumstances.

This is a conversation about friendship, loyalty, determination, and what it means to build a life that actually fits. Bella's the kind of woman who carries her story lightly but deeply — and I think you're going to love her.

 Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Unravelling: The Diary of a Midlife Mess.

If something resonated with you today, I’d love to hear your thoughts,  come join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @theglowupguide_au or visit sharonwilkesburt.com
for more resources and support.

Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review if you’re enjoying the journey so far!

Transcript

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:22.581)
Okay. Good morning, Bella. This is such a wonderful opportunity for me to get to chat to you. I know that we're friends outside of podcast land, but it's always so lovely to chat to you. So I'm so glad that you're here with me today.

Bella Freman (01:40.486)
Well, thank you for asking me Sharon. This is very humbling and yeah, I was always up for a chat with you because we always chat. We have so many chats when we're networking and out and about. There's nothing wrong with that. It's great.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:49.966)
We're good at chatting, chatting is something we're good at. Okay, so of course, as you know, this is unraveling the diary of a midlife mess. And the diary part is based on the premise that, well, I had a diary as a teenager, which I discovered when I was 40 and it was just...

brilliant. It was a brilliant find, not that there was a brilliant teenager within it, but it was a really brilliant and very humbling find. And then my journal then came back into my life probably in around my mid 40s, so probably about 10 years ago. And that's kind of where all of my stuff went into as my life started to unravel mostly, thank you, perimenopause, which obviously I know that you're not going to go through.

Bella Freman (02:37.486)
Never, it's not happening to me so that's I'm glad you know that.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (02:38.798)
it's never going to happen. So all of my mess went into my journal. So on this basis, if I was to have got my hands on your teenage diary, what would I have found in there?

Bella Freman (02:55.516)
Well, I did keep a diary. I started when I was eight and all the way through, I had a bit of a break, I think, nine, 10, but into my teenage years, I, especially at boarding school, I wrote in it every single day. And that continued into my early teens and then sporadically over the last couple of decades. And I found them, well, last year I found them and it was so much fun.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (03:00.355)
Aha.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (03:16.398)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (03:21.646)
Oh, what a find.

Bella Freman (03:24.178)
to read them. And what I discovered was, and I knew this, I was a happy kid, but there were times when in my teenage years at boarding school, especially, I felt really sad and I would write in there and I wouldn't know why. There was no reason. I had friends. I mean, I was never academic, but I had fun at school and I loved it. Boarding school had the best time. So that was really interesting to read.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (03:26.584)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (03:54.03)
And also that I was always sneaking out and doing things that I shouldn't have been doing because I was so sure. But generally there was only that short time that I felt really sad. Generally happy, positive, wanted to be friends with everyone, wanted to be liked, which has gone into my adulthood of being a people pleaser. But it was really interesting to read in my own words what was going on in my life. And it was all about boys.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (04:21.816)
Yeah. Honestly, yeah, for sure. actually, mine really called me out because as I say, I'd invented this version, this teenage version of me in my sort of, obviously my 30s and 40s, I'd kind of invented this version of what I thought I was as a teenager. And my diary called me out on all of it. It was all a complete lie. And I do think that it kind of saved my kids in a sense, because when I found mine, my kids were...

Bella Freman (04:23.462)
A lot of it.

Bella Freman (04:43.25)
Yes.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (04:50.766)
pre-teens and I could no longer have said to them, know, well, I was a teenager. I never got bored. When I was a teenager, I never did this because when I was a teenager, my diary just told me that I'm going to do all the things that you're probably going to do.

Bella Freman (05:04.658)
Would you ever let your kids see your diary?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (05:07.598)
Good God no, absolutely not, no, Although it was quite funny because it was full of little really rubbish code words, like really rubbish code words that could have been deciphered by a cat. So yeah, it was brilliant, absolutely brilliant, love it. So going through your...

Bella Freman (05:12.626)
May.

Bella Freman (05:27.612)
my gosh, that's like funny.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (05:30.88)
So who were your influences at the time or who was kind of like, yeah, who were you? Because obviously we talk about influences today and, you know, kids have got so many options for influences today, as do adults, of course. But who were yours?

Bella Freman (05:43.218)
Right, well, so when I was a kid, I would read Eat and Blighten and my friends would think that I really needed to grow out of it. And I would put the torchlight on under my duvet and read the books late at night. I didn't want anyone to know. But I loved it because I loved going into that world of make-believe. And then in the music genre, when I went to The Last Morning School, which was my favorite of all when I was 13,

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:05.686)
Yeah

Bella Freman (06:13.09)
all the people, all the kids there were into, my gosh, like the Rolling Stones and the Kinks and like they were really cool. I was obsessed with Jason Donovan and they never really made fun of me. Like I'd have his pictures on my wall and stuff, but I wasn't cool. I mean, I ended up meeting him. So, you know, that was pretty good. I did. I used to live next door to Mike Reed, the Radio One DJ.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:19.668)
right, okay.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:24.36)
You

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:33.326)
Did you? That's pretty cool!

Bella Freman (06:42.854)
And my mum knew him quite well, because she used to type up a lot of notes for him and things like that. And so I remember knocking on his door, it was during the holidays, I remember knocking on his door and I said, I hear that you're interviewing Jason Donovan tomorrow on Radio One. I'm just wondering if you could get me his autograph. And he said, well, why don't you come along and meet him? So I did. It was the most amazing experience. Absolutely loved it.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:43.048)
wow!

Bella Freman (07:10.086)
So yeah, I went up with my mum and she said, she goes, we've been waiting for this moment as in me. And he was like, have you? To my mum. And she was like, well she didn't want to say no, but it was quite a funny moment. And I cried all the way home. And it was one of those moments. I was 13, know, biggest thing that had ever happened to me. But yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:21.735)
Ha

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:31.262)
So brilliant. And also, to be fair, you know, for your friends, because I mean, you're teenagers at this point, so your friends to be into Rolling Stones and you to be into Jason Donovan, surely at that time, I mean, obviously we now look and kind of go, my God, the Rolling Stones are so cool. But when you're a teenager, surely at that time, Jason Donovan was cooler.

Bella Freman (07:51.024)
Well, this is the thing, Sharon. So I had gone, so when I first went to boarding school, I was eight years old. I went to an all boys school. My brother was there. They had a hundred boys and 10 girls. Then when I was 11, then I went to an all girls school with my sister, who both my brother and sister hated having me at their schools because I was the naughty kid. And so at that girls school, they were into Jason Donovan and all of that. But when I went to the other school, it was a Steiner school. So it was...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:15.522)
Yes.

Bella Freman (08:19.61)
It was more about who you were as a person, not academic. And I just find the people there were into different things. they were, they had parents that were, you know, hippies and chilling and that sort of thing, which I loved, but I did have no idea what that was. And it was the most amazing experience and it really taught me who I was as a person. Those years shaped me.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:48.654)
Wow.

Bella Freman (08:49.346)
and it was the boarding school mum who I went to the funeral back in the UK a couple of weeks ago. She was like a second mum to me. So going back there, was, yeah, it was lovely to go back and have those memories. So I was sort of the odd one out with, but that was okay. I didn't get bullied or anything. Like they just thought it was sweet and I was happy to be called sweet.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:55.062)
Yes, yes.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:01.142)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:05.783)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:09.922)
Hey, you're so cute. absolutely. mean, Borden School's an interesting one because I mean, like I remember...

And actually this is a terrible story in hindsight. But I remember boarding school for people out, not that didn't go to boarding school, but there was always this image of St Trinian's school. know, this is kind of like, that's what we all thought that boarding school was. And I do remember, thank God there was no response, but I do remember me and a bunch of friends writing to Jim will fix it for us to be able to go to boarding school and be able to be at St Trinian's for a day.

Bella Freman (09:45.636)
my god. Yes, yes. I think I even wrote to him. Thankfully I never heard anything.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:45.806)
I'm really, really glad there was no response to that.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:53.071)
Yes, yes, I think we dodged a bullet there. so how, so...

Bella Freman (09:57.074)
Absolutely. Well, my first boarding school was very strict like that. It was full on uniform and it was corporal punishment. Like we didn't with the girls, but my brother did. was terrible what went on in those days. But my last boarding school, there was no uniform. Like it was just so cool. But then on the flip side, you think, well, what am going to wear every day? At least with a uniform, you've got the same thing and you're not comparing yourself.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:02.254)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:24.898)
Well, yeah.

Bella Freman (10:27.154)
So yeah, that was an amazing experience and it wasn't like a traditional trillions or what was the other one? Mallory Towers. Yes!

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:37.44)
Mallory Towers. Mallory Towers. I was the Enie Blyton fan. Obviously, you know, if anybody who's listened to this before knew that I was going to be Enie Blyton when I grew up. I was going to be the next Enie Blyton. I'm still working on it, Bella.

Bella Freman (10:47.538)
I love it. Right, so you know where I'm coming from. You've got it.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:52.046)
I absolutely knew where you were coming from. And I'm delighted because I think it's this month as well, the magic faraway tree comes out at the cinema. So I'm really excited to watch that. I'm excited and I'm also kind of like, don't spoil it. Don't make it rubbish because it's such a big part of my childhood memories. It does look good. You're quite right. Yes. So what did...

Bella Freman (10:58.98)
Yes! I stole the trailer.

Mm, yeah.

The trailer looks good. I saw the trailer. Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (11:15.278)
Growing up then, because obviously you were away from home a lot of the time, obviously you were in a boarding school, what did growing up look like for you and was there a point where you started to feel like you were becoming your own person? Because you were saying that obviously the experience shaped you and was there a point in which that happened specifically or was that kind of a gradual awareness?

Bella Freman (11:38.684)
think it was more gradual awareness. I think what really shaped me at that time though, there was one, something that did, like it was the friendship groups. So for two years, I lived in the boarding school with all the other kids and I had three really good friends, one being the daughter of the boarding parents. And when they decided to move into a house down the road from the school,

they invited us to live with them. So for a year, there were four best friends in a house, just sharing life together. And that, I have always been, I love friendship. don't have a lot of really close, I have a lot of friends, but not a lot of really close friends. But friendship is so important to me. Loyalty, I would do anything for a friend. And I think that, looking back now, talking about it, think that's what, that's shaped me.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:30.146)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (12:36.634)
You know, it was such a special time and we did everything together. reading my diaries, it reminded me that, you know, we loved each other, but we also got really frustrated with each other. I'd write every argument in there, wouldn't understand. And then I'd write, we made up as if nothing had happened. You know, and even now, I'm still really good friends with all of us. I'm still really good friends with them. And it just means

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:37.302)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:52.046)
Fantastic! Yeah!

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:03.063)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (13:05.478)
the world to know that I've got such great friendships from when I was 13.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:09.408)
Yeah, that's that is

quite special, isn't it? I think it's often as well when people, you know, go to uni or whatever it is, you know, those friendships, the first time you're away from your family, as it were, those friendships become real kind of quite bonded, don't they? I mean, I was, I think I was actually I was older, I was 21 when I went to I went to work in Rhodes in Fallaraki and one of the Greek islands did a summer season out there, which was just the best. And of course, that was my first time living outside the family home and kind of like,

Bella Freman (13:13.042)
and

Bella Freman (13:37.522)
21.

Yes!

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:41.488)
And those friendships, those people that I made, and we were all kind of like late teens, early twenties, we're still friends today. There's something about sort of the, I suppose it's that bond, it's that kind of, we did, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah. Most of it kind of unspeakable, but it's brilliant.

Bella Freman (13:49.714)
you

Bella Freman (13:54.032)
But you shared something so unique together, didn't you?

Bella Freman (14:03.154)
That even makes a friendship even more special.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (14:05.422)
It does, absolutely. So who was the version of you that was moving into her twenties and what were you figuring out or what were you chasing?

Bella Freman (14:18.64)
Well, so I met my husband when I was 16. One of my really good friends, her father was in the army and there was a summer job down in a little village called Bisley in Surrey. And she said, look, it's a couple of weeks work. We're going to be back markers. So you bring the target down. So when you've got all the people shooting, it was, it was called the Queen shoot and all these kids from private schools would come along.

and they would be in this tournament and we'd be the ones to like 300 meters away, bring the target down in this bunker, change the target, show them what they've got and all of that sort of stuff. And I was like, yeah, that'd be great. And then another friend from the group of us, she was up for it as well. Well, I think Kate lasted maybe three days and decided that camping and working wasn't for her.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (15:09.816)
You

Bella Freman (15:11.769)
So my friend and I were like, okay, that's fine. You go home, we're here. And on the first day I met Graham and one of these, I'm not a great walker, Sharon. I've only just, last couple of years, I've got into my pilates, but generally if someone mentions going for a hike. And one of these areas to work from was like a mile away. And I noticed that there was this cute looking guy and he had a car.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (15:29.326)
You

Bella Freman (15:39.408)
and we were all working together. I said, is there anywhere I could get a lift? So that was, you know, that was the beginning of that little chapter and we had a bit of a summer romance. And then I went to America for a year and I was an exchange student, not that my family had anyone at our house, but I went and lived in Kentucky because I put on my film that I loved horses. So they said, right, we'll send you to Kentucky. And I was...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (16:02.67)
Bella Freman (16:07.824)
so blessed to be with a family who were just so lovely. He was a horse manager of this beautiful farm. And we actually went to stay with him when we went to the States a couple of years ago and the family. And it was just magical, again, a relationship that I've kept all this time. And they shaped me into, you know, living with a different family, learning the different quirks and all of that sort of thing. So I was 17 when I came back and...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (16:23.022)
you

Bella Freman (16:35.858)
Graham and I decided to, you know, get together officially. I thought I'd give it a go. And so from there, we wanted to travel. I was working. I actually got my first job at the end of that year. I moved in with one of my best friends, Kate. We lived in, her parents had a flat in Fulham. It was a steal. I was paying like 150 pounds a month in the most.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (16:42.593)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (17:03.906)
Wow. my gosh.

Bella Freman (17:04.06)
beautiful apartment and I got my first job for Columbia TriStar, the movie company, because I'd always wanted to be an actress. So it was amazing. We got tickets to the best bars, shows. We used to see all the movies before anyone else because they had a cinema downstairs. And it was just a little glimpse into life in the movie world.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (17:13.014)
Why?

Bella Freman (17:30.642)
And it was a bit of a sliding door moment. I'd been working there a year and a half and Graham and I had decided that we wanted to go backpacking around Australia because I grew up watching Neighbours and thought, you know, it looked really lovely. And Jason told me, yes, that's right. Yes, of course. Let me have a look. And so I said to Columbia, was like, I'm...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (17:39.896)
course. And Jason Donovan obviously you had to go tracking in his hometown just wandering around Melbourne suburbs. Is it here? it here?

Bella Freman (17:56.562)
I want to put in my, I'd been there 18 months, loved it. I want to put in my notice. I want to go traveling for a year. And they said, that's such a shame because we wanted to offer you the position in marketing. Sharon, I would have been looking after people like Brad Pitt and Tom Hanks on their junkets. And it was one of those moments that you just think, what would have happened if I had, you know, but I chose love, I chose adventure, and I have no regrets whatsoever because it's...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (18:17.454)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (18:24.425)
No.

Bella Freman (18:24.924)
you know, created this incredible life that we have now. So yeah, so then we went traveling, came back, bought ourselves a little flat and Battersea loved it. But every day going into work, because by that time I was just working for, I think it was a real estate commercial company. I'd be, that is when I feel really depressed, waking up dark, going to work, thinking there's more to life than this, coming home, it was dark.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (18:27.243)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (18:51.45)
So I would go to the Strand in my lunch hours, go to Australia House, get all the brochures and start visualizing a life in Australia. And we started working on getting our visas. And I said to Graham, I'm not going to Australia unless we're married. It only took nine years to propose. But we did.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (19:12.102)
Was he trying to find the right sentence? find a ring? I mean, what was the thing?

Bella Freman (19:15.09)
Well, he has a plan for everything. So it's just, you know, we traveled, we lived together. This isn't the plan. like, well, it better be in the plan to be married by the time we move to Australia. And he's a electrician. So I'm very blessed that I am with electrician because we were able to live here. And yeah, so I guess, you know, talking about teenage years, was, I met my husband when I was 16. I feel so blessed. I met my soulmate then because I think it's really rare these days.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (19:18.85)
Okay.

Bella Freman (19:44.83)
And it was not easy, definitely not easy. When we were backpacking, we split up for a bit and horrendous. But it taught me so much. I think I took him for granted and getting back together again, like it's just, yeah. And that was before we were married, you know. But yeah, I sort of went all around the roundabouts there, Sharon.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:03.246)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:07.406)
But you know, I mean, like, it's so interesting that you say about these like sliding door moments and they're probably, you know, there's probably another Bella in a parallel universe that's probably, you know, sort of chatting to Brad Pitt going, why are you behaving like this? What's wrong with you? I used to be in love with you. But, but yeah, no, that's so it's just so fascinating how these

Bella Freman (20:20.454)
I know there is, I know there is.

you

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:30.574)
how these opportunities get presented and how, you know, just another decision takes you down another life path, really. This was, you know. So in your 20s, was the acting thing, was this still something that was on the cards for you or was this something that you'd shelved or?

Bella Freman (20:47.474)
Yeah, did a bit, when I lived in London, I did a bit of amateur theatre with another friend when she lived not far from me in Fulham. And so we did little plays, but nothing, like it was just, I decided, you know, I remember saying to my mum when I was younger, mum, I'd love to be an actress. And bless her, she was, you know, so supportive, but very realistic.

Sweetie, that's amazing. And I would love for you to do that as well, but just have something that you can fall back on. Just have some skill in case it doesn't pan out. So after school, when I got back from America, I actually went to a college and did a secretarial course, short-term course. And that is what got me the job at Columbia Tri-Star. That was my first job as a secretary.

So I totally understand what she meant. I don't think in my younger years, I hadn't done any self-development. I hadn't done any work on my mindset. And I think I just probably thought that would be amazing if it just comes to me on my lap. If it just, you know, falls on my lap and someone sees me and think I've got the perfect face for this character. But other than that, it's going to be too hard. Let me just have fun, earn some money, live in London. And so...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (21:57.74)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (22:10.546)
Cause I did that, I still did a little amateur theater, but that sort of dream, I guess, got slowly pushed further and further away. Cause I just thought, I'm not willing to do the work that you need to do to get to where you want to be. And you know, I was enjoying life. it was never, yeah, know, who knows what could have happened, but being young, you want to live in the moment a lot of the time, don't you?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:23.31)
No.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:34.888)
God, absolutely. And look, I mean, you know, in the 80s and 90s, we weren't talking about self development. There was no such thing as personal development. mean, those people that were doing anything like that were considered kind of, you know, wackos or woo woo or whatever it was, you know, so and you think about it, really, it would the industry would industry would probably have eaten you alive at that point, because it kind of relies on you not having any kind of self awareness.

Bella Freman (22:41.522)
Bye.

Bella Freman (22:46.46)
Win-win.

Bella Freman (22:55.78)
Yes, I was too innocent. Yes, yeah. Even if I had got just a glimmer of something happening, you're right. I would have run amar once they'd taken hold of me and spat me out.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (23:11.256)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So it's just, it's quite, it's quite fascinating how life kind of pans out like that. And, know, and obviously how, how I guess times change. I mean, I don't, there weren't probably that many women in that period, kind of even in their forties and fifties that are doing the work that we're kind of doing now, you know, it's only more in more recent years that the whole kind of personal development world has kind of blown up. And I know that's

Bella Freman (23:37.988)
Yeah, very true.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (23:40.558)
become a big part of your world and your life as well. So if we go into your 30s, who was Bella in her 30s? What was life made of for you back then?

Bella Freman (23:54.898)
Well, yeah, so when we moved over here, I was 27. So I got a job. I was very lucky, very quickly working for an insurance company and I was probably there for about a year and then I got pregnant. I had Maddie when I was 29. So yeah, just going into my thirties and loved it. It was just, I was so lucky.

I think it was first time, fell pregnant. Same with Meg. Like I just feel so blessed because I know that's not the case for a lot of people. So yeah, just loved being a mum. And, but then when Meg came along, I went back to work two days, three days a week. And at that time I didn't, I didn't want to, I just wanted to be at home with them, but I also wanted to make an impact on the income. So.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (24:33.326)
Mmm.

Bella Freman (24:52.25)
My 30s was just, I guess, getting used to motherhood. The early 30s, getting used to motherhood. It was easy, I wouldn't say it was easy, like easy pregnancy. Being a mum, actually, when I first brought Maddie home, I think I cried for 10 days. I could not, like it was so hard. I actually didn't connect with her immediately. remember Graham is the youngest of six children and there is a plethora of boys in the family, not many girls from

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (24:56.056)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (25:22.224)
you know, from the children that have come along. And I thought, I'm going to have a boy. My friend read my palm, which she did, she said, you're going to have a boy. I was so prepared to have a boy. I wanted a girl. Like I dreamt of having a girl and calling her Madeline since I was 12 and had a school friend called Madeline. And, but I painted the nursery blue because I was so adamant we were having a girl, having a boy. And then, and we didn't find out.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (25:39.214)
Sharon Wilkes-Burt (25:45.422)
You

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (25:48.973)
You

Bella Freman (25:51.794)
And then Maddie came along and I was so happy, but it was really weird because my whole belief was that she was gonna be a boy. So it took about 10 days to bond with her and it was a really weird experience. But after that, so blessed with two girls. yeah, so my early 30s was just getting into motherhood.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (26:13.26)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (26:19.97)
And I think it was a great time for us. We've done a lot of travel. We've moved over here. We've got our house. The only thing that was an issue, I guess, was financially, we weren't in a great position. We sold our flat in London, bought here, which was amazing that we could get this house because we sold our flat. But Graham's qualification, mind blowing. The standards are

are lower in Australia than they are in the UK. So we had to re-qualify as a electrician. So that put him right at the bottom of the ladder for jobs and things. after we had Meg, he said, I'm thinking I'm going to have to work away. And I was like, oh my gosh, you can't work away. Like the girls are so young. That just freaked me out. He said, well, what option do we have?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (26:50.487)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bella Freman (27:14.054)
He really worked, I was at home, so I wasn't earning. So that was stressful at that time. And then of course, my life changed with my business, you know.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (27:26.774)
Yeah, yeah. But I think, you know, mean, the 30s, particularly, you know, that whole new mum journey is so, it's so massive when you go through it, and you couldn't possibly ever prepare for it. Nobody's going to say to you, you know, first of all, nobody can explain to you what tired feels like, because before having...

a baby, know, tired is like you've had a big weekend, but you're probably going to catch up somewhere through the course of the week where you're going to have a big lie in or there's going to do nothing. You're just going to, you know, face plant for the rest of the week, whatever it is. Nobody, there's no explanation for that level of tired. And yet you've still got to try and keep this human that's screaming at you alive and safe and clean. And then also trying to, you know, connect with this thing.

Yeah, I mean, it's absolutely huge. don't think, and again, it's one of those things that you have to go through. can't read books about it. Somebody told you about it, you wouldn't be able to relate because there's nothing in your life happened prior to having kids that was like that.

Bella Freman (28:26.064)
Yeah, compromise.

No.

Bella Freman (28:34.642)
Absolutely. And you think the things that we did back then, you'd never do now. Like I remember putting Maddie in the cop and tucking her up and she's at the top of the cop with this blanket down here. Now it's like, my gosh, make sure she's down at the bottom because we want to make sure that she's not going to go under the blanket. And I remember I would bring her into the bed with me as well to feed her because I was just so tired at night. And then I'd wake up freaking out. my God, is she okay? Like my boob is right on my face.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (28:49.518)
I'm

Yes!

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (28:59.245)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:04.397)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (29:04.53)
Like all of those, and that never goes away, I think. At any age, at any time of life, you always worry for your kids. But I think as a new mum, like I was so paranoid before I had Maddie. I would like not eat anything that I shouldn't have. I remember, I remember I would always love.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:30.113)
you

Bella Freman (29:32.166)
Hungry Jacks, I don't really go anymore, but I'd always like, once a week I'd get a Whopper and I'd go, they're gonna have to make it fresh for me because, you know, pasteurized and all of that sort of stuff. Anyway, I think once I worried that it wasn't fresh, I worried I had Listeria, so I went and got a Listeria test, which is giving a sample of your poo. Like that's how the lengths I went to make sure that everything was okay. And you think that years ago,

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:42.221)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:54.38)
Okay.

Yeah.

Bella Freman (30:02.002)
never did that, but we did whatever they wanted. But yeah, I mean, I used to, when I was a teenager actually, I suffered terribly from OCD. Like it was so bad. You know, I would have to touch things a certain amount of time. If I left the house, it would take me 10 minutes because I'd have to make sure all the doors are locked, all the gases are off. I remember one time in London, my brother and sister, it was just after my parents said that I'd completely forgot about them, so I'm not.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:03.296)
No. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:13.005)
Bella Freman (30:30.96)
My parents had split up and my brother and sister came to visit me in the flat in London, the one where I was with my best friend. And she wasn't there, but the three of us went on the tube into town and I was freaking out the whole time that I'd left the iron on and it ruined the whole night for me. And they were like, we're not going back. We are not. And all I wanted to do was get back to the flat just to check. Of course I hadn't.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:50.414)
song.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:56.984)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (30:57.916)
But I think that was probably one of the, I think that came into it when I was pregnant, was that whole worrying side of things. And then after I had Maddie, the OCD sort of subsided. It was so bizarre. Every now and then I'll do things because I'm superstitious and just in case, but nothing like it was back then. Weird how that just came up.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:03.062)
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:20.374)
Yeah.

Yeah, no, I mean, like it's it's interesting, isn't it? Because I guess, you know, I suppose parenthood, obviously the opportunity to become more or less of whatever that is, you know, you could become more OCD having kids, but then where would you fit the time in for that? And I think you have to kind of prioritize survival at some point, you know, so.

Bella Freman (31:42.516)
you

Bella Freman (31:47.547)
Absolutely.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:48.258)
I mean, I do remember, you know, when I had my first, when I had Louis, my house was immaculate. That child came home to his sterilized home. You know, like if the dog came near him, I'm like, my God, he's got dog hair on him, you know? So it was kind of like, was a very, very different home to what Louis came into two years later, because at that

I'm holding my newborn whilst cleaning poo off the walls because he's decided to take the contents of his nappy and smear it all over walls. So that was a very different home environment from child one to child two. You just adjust and you start deciding actually what's more important here? You what do I have to make sure is okay here? So yeah, it's yeah, 30s and motherhood is a very kind of, yeah, odd time, fun times.

Bella Freman (32:16.55)
We've been there, Sharon. my God. You just suggest, don't you?

Bella Freman (32:39.516)
Yeah, that's true.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (32:40.952)
So when you look, so was there a moment in that period where something shifted to you, for you? mean, like you talked about your business and you started to move in a direction. Did that feel more like you as you, or did you start to sort come back to yourself once you found this business, this thing?

Bella Freman (33:01.394)
Yes, so I did feel something was missing. Like I loved being a mum and I had my three days in the city, but I did feel like I wasn't, I wasn't passionate about anything. so before Arbonne, actually, I was selling Phoenix trading greeting cards and I was, do you?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (33:27.692)
I remember those. I do remember those.

Bella Freman (33:30.086)
And I was pregnant with Meg. I was pregnant with Meg and I remember my sister told me about it from the UK, because it was in the UK. And it was launching here. And I thought, it give me something fun to do while I'm on maternity leave. And I did enjoy it, but I'd literally drive around dropping off cards for $3 commission and I'd spend that on petrol. So it really didn't really make sense, but I loved it because it got me out of the house.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (33:39.117)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (33:59.224)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (33:59.354)
I socially really, really enjoyed it. And then, but it wasn't, still not passionate. And then Meg's best friend at Kindy started an Arbonne business. And I was like, no, thank you. I'm not doing one of those. But I used to have terrible skin, like so bad from a teenager acne prone skin. It just affected my confidence all the time. It was really annoying.

and I'd used to put a lot of makeup on, but it was so caked on to layer the issues. And I said, I'm happy for you, I don't want to do the business, because I'm going to rock it with my card business anyway. And I said, yeah, it's just going to get better and better. But I did say, I will have some friends around. I'll have some friends around the kitchen table. I'd love to support you and you can share the products.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (34:42.99)
I'm getting three dollars of delivery here.

Bella Freman (34:57.778)
And that's what she did. So I started using the products and I think, I'm trying to think what year, yeah, was 2011, at the end of 2011, started using the products. And I remember going to England for Christmas and it was just, she would drop just seeds of things that she was doing in the business. She wasn't pushy or anything. She was just sharing what she loved and she'd only been doing it a couple of months and she was smashing it. And I remember going back to England.

and there was just something, a little voice in my head thinking, do you know what? What if this is the thing that will help us get ahead financially? Give me some passion and purpose. The products were working. Why am I having a closed mind? Like, what is it that I'm worried about or fearful about? And it was other people's opinions, I think. You know, I think especially as...

a mum, you worry that you're not doing the right thing, that maybe you should go to work and earn a proper wage, or maybe you're at home too much, or whatever. You're always just the judgment. And I guess there was a lot of judgment worry on my part. But when I came back, I decided to have a listen to the actual business opportunity. And I thought, what have I got to lose? I just have to take one day at a time.

if this is going to help change our family's life, isn't that more important than someone else's opinion of what they think of us? And so I started and I ran with it and haven't looked back. It did take me a long time to actually get into personal development, funnily enough, because I think, I'm a positive person. I don't need to read any books or listen to any podcasts. And it was still fairly new then as well. We'd get these CDs called Learn and Burn.

so I'd put the seed beans on in the car and that was from people in our company. There were no general podcasts back then and no, they weren't. And yeah, it's just been such a joy in so many elements of my life, not just the impact on the income, but also that flow down effect to my children being entrepreneurs.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (36:48.844)
Okay.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (36:53.247)
Yes.

No, no, no, not at all.

Bella Freman (37:14.992)
to having more choice in life, to helping other women see things from a different perspective and see that they could actually create a difference in their life and other people's lives. Like it's that flow on effect. And I think network marketing as a whole gets a really bad rap even now, which is so frustrating because unfortunately there are companies that don't do it the right way. There are consultants that don't do it the right way. But I hope that I...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:15.394)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:37.677)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (37:42.456)
lead from a place of love and I'm trying to help people solve a problem. And because I never wanted to be the school mom at the gate, so all the other moms go, my gosh, here she comes, the Arbonne lady. I never wanted to be that person. So I'm very mindful of that. But it has, it's been 14 years. I can't imagine doing anything else. We travel every year because as a family, because of the company, the income has replaced my full-time income, it's kept me at home like...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:53.358)
No, no.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:58.509)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (38:10.61)
And I love helping people. I love doing what I do. So yeah, so that really changed.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:14.454)
Yeah. Well, I think for you as well, you're such a, you're such a people person and you're absolutely right. mean, we all know that person that really kind of goes, don't make eye contact because, know, they're going to try and sell you something. And, know, I can absolutely 100 % say that you are not that person, but I think the fact that for you, this comes from a genuine passion and love for the products and the company is, is kind of like what makes it so

Bella Freman (38:23.907)
Thank

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:44.084)
easy for you to have done well within this, within the business, really. I mean, like I do remember probably again, maybe in my early thirties, maybe I worked for Body Shop and Body Shop had just brought out Body Shop Direct. So that was there, you know, where they went and did parties. And that was like, remember it been, and I was absolutely shocking because I was my best customer because I would kind of go, my God, this is new. I loved it so much. think I need this in my life. So.

Bella Freman (38:58.47)
Yes.

Bella Freman (39:06.298)
Hahaha!

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:14.336)
And

Bella Freman (39:14.958)
like the best thing about having that consultancy because you get the best price on your favorite things.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:20.32)
Well, yeah, yeah, there was that. But as I say, I was kind of my best customer. it comes from like a genuine love of kind of, know, you're not actually selling because you're kind of going, my God, I love this so much. You know, equally, I'd kind of go, I don't like this. This is rubbish, you know, but it comes from a place of honesty, doesn't it? Because obviously, we're not going to kind of love everything that we do. So.

Bella Freman (39:23.29)
You were spending more than you were making.

Bella Freman (39:32.433)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (39:35.793)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (39:41.234)
Absolutely. And if the skincare had not worked for me, I probably wouldn't have joined because I wouldn't have been able to share it. And I meet people all the time now and I mention Arbonne and they go, isn't that skincare? And I go, well, yeah, that's where it started, but nutrition's actually bigger than the skincare I would say now. But you do have to love what you're sharing. You have to be passionate. It has energy, it has a sound. So you have to have that belief. So yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:48.343)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:56.193)
Yes.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:02.658)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:06.114)
a hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. So when you look back, across all these versions of yourself, you know, and you've got this kind of, you know, this teen who was kind of finding herself in her, you know, formative years, you know, in boarding school and this absolutely, you know, as you say yourself, this kind of blessed life that you've had throughout this, are there any threads for you that have just continued to show up?

whether that's a strength or a struggle or is there anything that's kind of continued? Because obviously when you, you can never see these things as you're, because only when you're looking back that you can tend to see threads. So are there any threads that have run through all the versions of you?

Bella Freman (40:50.908)
I think the one thread is determination. Like, I have always been determined to see things through. Like, when I was younger, like, wanting to be an actress that has, didn't, like, I was determined, like, at this point in my life, I'm able to pursue those. And I went out and found it. Like, so many of us want to do things, but they don't find the opportunities, I feel like, with that.

working in the movie world, I was determined to find a job that gave me that glimpse. I was determined to travel, to live here, like just in my business, like it does take a lot of hard work and consistency and I feel like I'm very consistent and disciplined and determined. I think there should be a better word than determined. I don't know, but.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:27.382)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:44.492)
probably intention, isn't it? Because it's like, you know, you don't do if the intentions not first, you know, you have to have the intention to want to be an actor or the intention to kind of want to go and work in a specific place. I think intentions, probably the original element, I guess. And then it's just kind of building on that. And like, and I guess how strong is the intention? How strong is the determination?

Bella Freman (41:47.557)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (41:59.856)
I think that's Yeah, I think so.

Bella Freman (42:07.748)
Yeah, perfect. Definitely intention. And I think also, you know, I I like to look at things on the bright side, like I'm a half, what is it, half full glass. And sometimes that's a detriment to me. Like I just see the good in people. And, but I think for the most part, it has carried me through a lot of areas in my life of...

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (42:09.762)
Yeah, so it's... Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (42:22.168)
cup half full. Yeah.

Bella Freman (42:37.38)
of having that positivity come through for what the opportunities that have arrived for me. Because I just think it's going to work out. It's going to be fine. We've got that,

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (42:40.554)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would say the same thing. I think I'm definitely a glass half full and I'm also rainbows and sparkles and sunshine. But you're absolutely right. There is a kind of there can be a shadow side to that, I guess. And it's and I think that.

Bella Freman (42:53.328)
You are sharing.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:07.124)
The shadow side for that, think, showed up for me probably, I'm going to say, in my early 50s. And I'm going to say that that was, know, obviously we've talked about the fact that you're not going to get going through a perimenopause. So, you know, this isn't going to happen to you. But because it happens in your brain, did do something happened in my brain and my life all of sudden wasn't sunshine and sparkles. And I was trying I was finding it hard to find that glass half full. But was there a point?

Bella Freman (43:18.246)
never.

Bella Freman (43:33.414)
When it actually happens Sharon, will message you and go, hello, welcome.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:36.348)
Hahaha

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:42.466)
you were. When did we put you in through the door?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:48.062)
But has there been a point for you where things came apart or where the wheels came off in some way? I obviously this is the unraveling. So we talk, I mean, for me, that was my part when the sunshines and sparkles started to dull a bit. And yeah.

Bella Freman (44:02.546)
Yeah, it was, I'll tell you exactly what it was. You you live in a life and you, and I'm, every morning I feel, it's so funny when things are going really well, you worry that something's going to happen because how can they be this good all the time? But I have, I am very blessed. However, six years ago, six years, six and a half years ago, Maddie had, she was diagnosed with an eating disorder.

And that was the worst moment in our family's life. And we actually nearly lost her. And it was during COVID, like all, I think, I don't know if COVID was the reason, but being at home and she'd always had issues with her gut. So she was like stripping things and trying to figure out how to feel better. And it just got worse and worse and worse. And she was actually admitted into Hollywood hospital.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (44:32.632)
Okay.

Bella Freman (45:01.746)
for two months. And it was just the worst, worst thing in our life. And I remember she would message us and say, I'm going to be fine. I'll eat. I'll eat. Just come and pick me up. Please, please. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. And they had told us that that is what would happen. And it was the hardest thing to say no, you have to stay there. And she was so low in her weight.

that they nearly wouldn't admit her. I'm like, well, then what would happen? Would she have to go to a main street or hospital? But we were so lucky that our health insurance put us up to the top tier and waived the waiting. So, because it was very, very expensive, but she got the best care. And, but yeah, and it was during, I remember during COVID, couldn't see her. And it was probably a blessing in disguise. The first five days we couldn't visit her, and that's when she would send these messages.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (45:47.0)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (45:58.934)
Yeah. Yeah.

Bella Freman (46:00.89)
And then I would go after school, because Meg was still at school. So after school, would drive down three o'clock every single day, I would visit her. And our relationship strengthened. Like we'd sit, we'd watch the show Firefly, which is really sweet. It was a Netflix show a years ago, really sweet friendship show that we would watch every day. We'd have conversations, we'd play games. So that part strengthened our relationship. But...

It was the feeling of being helpless as a mother, wondering what did we do wrong? Could we have changed this? And then having to let that go because you can't change what's And we spent like four or five months trying to help her at home, doing the family, I can't even remember what it was called now. And as a mum, you want them

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:35.3)
Mmm. Mmm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:52.3)
Yeah.

Bella Freman (47:00.818)
to be happy. So when she's saying, I don't want to eat or this is enough for me or I'm not hungry, you just want to go, okay, sweetie, okay. And that's why it didn't work. She needed someone who'd be like, this is what you need to have and this is how it's going to be.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:09.326)
Hmm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:15.851)
Yeah

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:43.522)
No. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:50.03)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:56.494)
Ha ha.

Try this on for size. Yeah, I do not think anything to do with our kids is so...

God, it's so deep because there is that, you know, when we talk about that judgment, you know, at the school gates and even before that, you know, there's kind of, think from the moment you're a mother, you feel that you've been watched or you've been judged or, you know, is your child growing enough? Is your child crying enough? Is your child happy enough? you, and you just feel that there's all these kinds of eyes on you. So when, you know, through those teenage years,

you know, we still feel the weight of that judgment. And then if there's a glitch, if there's something, and then we go to comedy, wrong with your child, we take that on personally from an external, but also there's that pain of wanting to fix it for them, of wanting them to be okay, for wanting them to be happy. And, you know, it's, it's just brutal, I think, you know, anything to do with your, anything to do with your kids. Yeah. Yeah.