When Imposter Syndrome Buys A Bus - With Sonia Bell

In this engaging interview, Sonia Bell shares her journey through life's pivotal moments, from childhood curiosities to becoming a dedicated teacher and lifelong learner. Discover how her experiences with family, education, and self-discovery shaped her into the inspiring woman she is today. Sonia Bell shares her inspiring journey from teaching challenges to creating a mobile classroom business that supports homeschooling and children with special needs. Discover her insights on resilience, system reform, and empowering families.

Chapters


02:50 The Journey of Self-Discovery Through Journaling
05:57 Reflections on Childhood and Family Dynamics
08:58 Aspirations and Influences: The Path to Teaching
12:01 The Impact of Teachers and Memorable Experiences
14:54 The Struggles of Young Adulthood and Relationships
18:06 Understanding Neurodivergence and Personal Growth
24:51 Sonia's Unique Path to Education
27:29 Reinventing Life in the Thirties
36:03 Navigating the Challenges of Teaching
39:23 The Impact of Motherhood and Advocacy
46:57 The Evolution of Teaching and Its Challenges
48:37 The Challenges of Traditional Teaching
50:02 Breaking Free from the System
52:27 Creating a New Educational Model
54:18 Helping Students with Unique Needs
56:24 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
57:31 The Unraveling Moment
01:01:15 Building a Unique Educational Service
01:04:27 Becoming Braver and More Confident
01:09:28 Showing Up for Yourself
01:11:47 Advice to My Younger Self

 key  topics

Childhood influences and early education
Life challenges and resilience during divorce
Discovering neurodivergence and embracing identity
Balancing motherhood, education, and personal growth
The impact of teachers and mentors on Sonia’s life
Self-awareness and the journey to authenticity Personal journey from teaching to entrepreneurship
Creating a mobile classroom for homeschooling and special needs
Overcoming systemic challenges in education
Empowering families and children with medical needs
Building confidence and trust in oneself

www.thetouringteacher.com.au

Email: learn@thetouringteacher.com.au

https://www.instagram.com/thetouringteacherperth/

 Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Unravelling: The Diary of a Midlife Mess.

If something resonated with you today, I’d love to hear your thoughts,  come join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram @theglowupguide_au or visit sharonwilkesburt.com
for more resources and support.

Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review if you’re enjoying the journey so far!

Transcript

 Good afternoon, Sonia. Thank you so much for joining me today. This is Unraveling the Dire of a Midlife Mess and

If you've listened to any of these podcasts before, it's it's basically it's kind of based on the fact that the unraveling part was the unraveling that I went through as I hit menopause and all of that unraveling that came through in that time kind of went into my journal, or my madness went into my journal. But my journal I've had, I've been journaling kind of on and off since I was about 12 or 13, and and I found my teenage journals.

on my teenage diaries when I was about 40 and it was absolutely brilliant because this version of myself that I'd created, this teen version that I'd created as a 40-year-old was very different to the actual 14-year-old who called me out on all of the, you know, this kind of perfect teenage that I'd created as a 40 year old. but if I was to go back to teenage Sonia, what and who would I find inside your job inside your diary?

Sonia Bell (03:53.472)
Sonia Bell (04:05.474)
great question. Well, first of all, thank you for having me, Sharon. who would I be? So I guess my childhood was I'm gonna go with unusual. probably it'll make me who I am though, so I'm grateful for that. my family was not a traditional family in that dad goes to work or mum maybe stays home. You know, we're that era, so we're a bit older. Sorry, I am at least. And

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (04:21.042)
Uh-huh.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (04:31.733)
Mm-hmm.

I think we're matchy matchy same sames.

Sonia Bell (04:35.118)
My dad had unfortunately when he was seventeen and I was a few months old and yes you can do the mass there, he had a really, really significant work accident that meant that he wasn't able to walk easily for a long time and then he wasn't able to work for the most of the rest of my life that you know. so

He had a lot to contend with and as an adult now I I see it differently. At the time I saw and felt a grumpy old man. Sorry, Dad. a guy who needed, you know, very specific like atmospheres around him because he slept at unusual times, so he would sleep through the day and be awake at night. and there was there was just differences about our household too.

everybody else's that I'd seen. So I learned quite early to to walk carefully and to not be a bother. That's how I sort of walked through through the world. And unfortunately that had turned into a people pleaser, which is not uncommon for us, I don't think. and it's still a I call it a habit that I'm r that I'm really working on. I

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (05:39.134)
Okay.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (05:46.405)
Yeah. No.

Sonia Bell (05:57.006)
don't know if I'm doing all that well to be honest, but I'm trying. so yeah, the the circumstances that led to that were, like I said, a little different. but I was a passionate gymnastics coach. I'd had to retire, my God, at 13 because I had scoliosis. I did taekwondo and we were training for the Olympics, but the Olympic committee took

three rounds of Olympics to get it into the Olympics. So by that time I'd aged way out. I did boring dancing and loved every second of it. I was pretty good at school. Sounds a bit boastful, but you know, I was one of those kids that was in the extended classes and, you know, one of the geeks. And I was at school, I was the kind of kid who the geeks liked because I didn't pick on them.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:30.749)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:42.269)
That's all.

Sonia Bell (06:52.908)
The cool kids liked because I wasn't a real, you know, like geek in their eyes. So it's kinda like that middle road. So and that was again that whole please everybody feeling. So

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (06:59.607)
huh.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:03.891)
Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny, isn't it, when you kind of look back at kind of those relationships that you had at school and kind of it's and it was all kind of, I suppose, about finding your place, finding where you fit into what and what groups that you fitted into, you know. And I think and I I know it's but I mean it's probably it's probably tribal. It's probably a kind of something that's so kind of tuned into us into how we kind of, you know, you find your tribe, you find your people. And and and I think that people pleasing probably starts at quite a young age. And I think particularly for girls.

Sonia Bell (07:27.947)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (07:33.525)
Absolutely.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:33.533)
So, who did or what did teenage Sonia think she was gonna be when she grew up?

Sonia Bell (07:41.098)
Actually there was two two choices at the time. A teacher. Okay, great. Good job, Sonia, tick. but the other thing that I and I still am passionate about, a parapsychologist. So that was my like I I wasn't sure which one which way to go. And sometimes I thought maybe I could do both because you know, you're a little bit crazy when you're that age and think you can do everything. So

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:48.274)
Mm-hmm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (07:54.483)
Woo.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:05.703)
You're gonna I'm gonna have to so I don't even know now what a parapsychologist is. How would how is that even available to you as a young person?

Sonia Bell (08:13.01)
I was and still am an an avid reader. My family are avid readers. I was raised to treat books and words like you know that they hold a a higher standard in our world. so my mum's dad, my grandfather, who I was really close to, he had

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:30.59)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (08:35.766)
more books than I could count. Like there was a room that I am not kidding you. If you had this much space to walk through, you were lucky because books to the ceiling everywhere in the room. and we were taught how to look after them. Don't bend an ear like if I saw somebody bend a corner of a book as a bookmark, I would like cringe because that was like almost punishable by death in our family. Not quite, but so I read a lot and I

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:45.063)
Right.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (08:57.397)
Bright, okay. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (09:05.002)
sort of just stumbled upon I think my first thing that I found in parapsychology was the Loch Ness Monster. So parapsychologists study basically things that are otherworldly perhaps so maybe ghosts, Lochness Monster, the Bigfoot, those kinds of creatures I guess, and the science behind them. So is it actual science?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:29.681)
my god I love that. I didn't even know that was a job. I'd have totally done that as a kid.

Sonia Bell (09:34.966)
Right? It was the coolest idea, I thought. So and I just yeah, I devoured every book I could possibly get my hands on. I became a really huge Stephen King fan because he sort of has, you know, a lot of that theme through his stories. yeah, and still to this day love a horror movie, love to hate them because, you know, I scream and I jump into the person next to me.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:37.8)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:46.548)
Right.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (09:57.4)
god, yeah, no. I am way too wussy. I cannot watch any horror movies. I think I think the child catcher and Chichy Bang Bang did it for me, that's it. I've never got past that.

Sonia Bell (10:04.726)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (10:08.447)
That's all right. I'm I probably make up for both of us. It's crazy.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:13.555)
So was there for you, was there like as you were growing up, was there a teacher or somebody that who really saw you like when you were a child? You know, was it somebody that had this impact on you? I mean, you said you wanted to become a teacher, was that because of of s what somebody gave to you in a sense?

Sonia Bell (10:30.55)
I had a few teachers in primary school specifically, or especially I should say, that I just loved and I felt, like you said, seen by them. My year two and three teacher, same person. Her name was Mrs. Bunny. And she was, I mean, looking back now, she was short. I know, right? She was short even to us. And she was like we were, you know, like seven. So she was

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:45.531)
Mrs. Bunny That's the best name

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (10:55.694)
I don't know how tall she is in real life, but like, you know, now to think of as an adult. And her husband was like six foot three. It was hilarious. And her family, like her parents, owned a farm in Meriden. And and when you were in her class, she took you to her parents' farm, the whole class, for a camp every year. So year two and year three. We all went, I don't even remember how we got there. I think maybe a no, I can't remember, probably the train.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (10:59.541)
Yeah.

That's that's so funny, my gosh. Yeah. Okay.

Sonia Bell (11:24.552)
And we rode motorbikes, we sheared sheep, we like did all the chores on the farm and loved every second of it. And it's funny now as a teacher and having worked for the Department of Education, the forms that you would have to fill out it would never happen. It would never happen. You know, my god, the insurance. it's it's a shame. I mean, you know, I get it, but it's a shame. it was amazing.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (11:31.685)
Why?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (11:40.661)
No, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what an amazing experience and what a brilliant what a brilliant example to you of kind of like, you know, what that person could be. I mean the impact they would have on on those young lives. And I think Mrs. Bunny, that's the best name for primary teacher. Love it.

Sonia Bell (12:01.047)
Yeah.

She was just gorgeous. She really was. Yeah. And and like I said, you know, her and her husband. And can I tell a quick story? We we went to, I think it was Kahuna Wildlife Park back in the day. you may not know it because that was sort of when I was a kid here in Perth. it was, yeah, just like a a wildlife sanctuary and you could wander around and there were kangaroos and emus were wandering around live at life.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:12.041)
Go for it.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:22.473)
Okay.

Sonia Bell (12:31.638)
Course I would like. but you know, free to roam. And I don't know why, but mm, one emu one day decided Mrs. Bunny was a fun thing to chase. And so we're all playing on the playground, and all of a sudden, poor little Mrs. Bunny is running for her life and an emu is chasing her. And we didn't know as like these seven and eight-year-olds whether to laugh because it did look really funny, or to like try and help her or

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:33.481)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:41.397)
Sharon Wilkes-Burt (12:55.817)
Will be completely traumatized forever, yeah.

Sonia Bell (12:59.299)
I mean it's a terrible story, but it's hilarious at the same time. So yeah, I felt bad for her.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:00.949)
no, it's you see, we were lame because we just had Rod Hullen emu in the UK, so we just had this kind of, you know, this puppet emu thing, but you had a actual real-life emus chasing DM Mrs. Bunny. That's actual trauma.

Sonia Bell (13:13.454)
Real PTSD is real. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, I still remember her like so fondly. and all of the friends that I've kept in contact with, you know, from there. we yeah, it she's just one of those teachers that was amazing. And I'm just I love learning. that's with the reading and I just love to learn. I'm always curious and I wanted to

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:20.725)
I'm fantastic.

Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:29.608)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:35.56)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (13:42.742)
to help kids know that feeling that learning can be amazing, that it doesn't have to be boring or scary or any of the negative things, that was really what teaching is for me and why I why I wanted to do it. Like to yeah, to pass that on.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:45.736)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (13:57.683)
Yeah, yeah. Well that would make sense, wouldn't it? I mean, I suppose if we go back if we're going back to those kind of teen and younger years and you know, going and obviously when you come in you come to choose your options and there's already that love of books and love of learning. So I think it would probably almost be a natural thing that you would move into into teaching. So tell me about the woman that you were in your twenties. Who were you back then?

Sonia Bell (14:10.198)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (14:14.768)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (14:20.526)
dear, who was I? I wasn't myself. As in I allowed myself to be, I guess, moulded by the people around me. And again, it was that people pleasing, doing what I thought everybody wanted me to do, saying what I thought everybody wanted me to say. It is an a it's been a constant theme. and hindsight is wonderful. You know, I can look back now and

cringe and and you know feel sorry for her almost because she didn't know better. but I met my children. I've got two boys and I met their father in high school we started seeing each other or going around with we called it we go around with me I'm like around what but anyway we went around with each other I I think we're about 16

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (14:54.59)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (15:09.203)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sonia Bell (15:16.992)
And we were together for 17 years, had two children, got married, did the whole thing. but I very much would sort of do what I thought he wanted me to do and wanted to please. Again, it all came down to that. 

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (17:21.577)
So did you what did you think that so when when you think back, what did you think that your life was going to look like in that time? Like as you kind of, you know, you sort of think to your future or if we even do that. I'm not sure if I've ever really done that. But if you what what did you think at that time that your th your life was gonna look like?

Sonia Bell (17:31.554)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (17:38.046)
Actually, I don't know if I've ever done that either much, but yeah, I think I'm with you on that one. I don't know at that age that I really did that. Like you were saying, I kind of lived in the moment. So I got kicked out of home at 16 and went and lived with my grandparents and then my parents divorced when I was 18 and it wasn't a smooth divorce.

Let's just say, it was a really it was, yeah, it was a difficult divorce. and as an adult for me, being the adult or an adult in the family, my parents lent on me to some degree, which is not the common, you know, sort of way a divorce goes around it, but it's that age thing again. I was sort of almost more a friend than a child in some instances. So yeah,

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (18:11.347)
Okay.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (18:31.188)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (18:35.586)
Looking to the future, I I just I d it was a day by day. I'm still pretty much I kind of do that a lot now. Like I don't plan a lot and then I plan really quickly. Like if I have an idea, my poor husband, when I have an idea now, and it's really been like this most of my life, I have an idea, I research it, like go down the rabbit hole. I can do that for like eight or nine hours, know what I know, know what I need to do, and then go, babe.

buying a caravan because I'm gonna put kids in it. And

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (19:06.965)
See, already this is kinda like I we we know now because obviously there's so much talk around people getting sort of adult diagnosis for ADHD, but I y you're about to tell me that you've got ADHD, aren't you? Because this is classic ADHD behaviour, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (19:14.807)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (19:20.174)
Diagnosed maybe three years ago. And do you know what I was shocked? I can pick neurodivergence in people. I feel like I've kind of got a sixth sense. I mean, I don't know, but I feel like I I understand that people who are neurodivergent and I feel like I kind of have a kinship almost. But when I got diagnosed, I was flawed and all of my friends are looking at me going, really? You're surprised?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (19:41.278)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (19:47.413)
It's funny, isn't it? Because I've got friends that have been diagnosed in recent years and they'll kinda go, you same as you, you know, got always really surprised. So I'm thinking, No shit, Sherlock, how did you not know that? Do you know what I mean? It's like it's like, wow, this is I'm surprised that you're surprised. But yeah, yeah.

Sonia Bell (19:59.682)
That was exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. People were yeah, like, how stupid are you? Like, you know, that was the fear the the feeling, yeah. and it also explained sorry. Sorry, time blindness. Is that something you deal with?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:10.759)
Yeah. Yeah. Well we'll come to that. But sorry, sorry, carry on.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:20.711)
no. I know that I know that people that I mean God, yeah, I mean like I do to agree, but what I'm gonna do I'm gonna come thro I'm gonna come back to that because I'll come I'll come on to your your ADHD. So I'm just gonna I'm gonna go through your sort of through your decades, so who you were to who you've become. And I'll sell I'll cut this bit out, obviously.

Sonia Bell (20:22.638)
It is awful.

Sonia Bell (20:32.247)
Absolutely.

Sonia Bell (20:41.005)
Okay.

We'll we'll cut and paste.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (20:46.351)
So were you someone who during that time were you someone who knew your own mind or were you still figuring that out kind of as to who you were? Because I know obviously you've got a lot of influences around you and there, but I mean within this, even internally, you do know you do know your own mind. Is that were you somebody who knew that?

Sonia Bell (21:06.274)
Yeah, actually that's a really interesting, like I guess, almost a juxtaposition. My dad's dad taught us from a very young age, like my cousins and I, to never follow the crowd. And if it wasn't what we wanted. He said you don't need to be approved of by others. So I never sought approval. I only wanted to make people comfortable. So it's different. It's not

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (21:26.557)
Love that.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (21:34.429)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (21:35.33)
The same thing. So I would, you know, if they people wanted to see a movie, what movie do you want to see? Yeah, I'm fine to see that. And most of the time I was. Like if they really objected, I would have let people know. But like, you know, when you're in the early 20s and people are drinking and maybe taking other things that maybe are not legally allowed, you know, that kind of thing. I would that wasn't my scene, but I was around people that did.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (21:45.619)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:01.204)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (22:01.312)
And when I was offered it, I would say no. And then you'd get that, go on, go on, go on. And I was totally okay with saying no, thanks. I don't want to. So I was really quite strong in a strange way there. But yet at the same time going, and what would you like? How can I help you? What can I do for you? So it's it's an to me it feels like a bit of a yeah, an odd coupling there.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:09.203)
Yeah, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:14.686)
Yes.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:18.493)
Yes, yeah, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:26.889)
Well, I guess it's kind of like you've already got like certain boundaries. So there's kind of parts of you that you're not prepared to let go of, you know? Yes, I'm gonna make you feel comfortable. Yes, I'm going to, you know, do whatever you want to do. But, you know, I guess there's some kind of boundaries that are very, very, you know, very much in place, which, you know, probably was signs of latest Sonia coming through, perhaps, you know, even though we don't know. So who are you?

Sonia Bell (22:34.678)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (22:44.714)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (22:49.762)
That that yeah, no, you're you're absolutely right. Definitely.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (22:54.875)
trying to be? I mean obviously I know you were saying that, you know, you were trying to sort of people please, but who were you trying to be and how close was that to who you actually were?

Sonia Bell (23:06.762)
I had no idea. I had no idea who to be or how to be. I really didn't because I left home so early, financially I sort of felt I started on the back foot. I didn't have that being at home to save or to, you know, sort of to gracefully enter the world of adulthood. I kind of got thrown in the you know, the deep end. I mean and and it was it meant that at one stage I was working five jobs.

and my boyfriend then hus and who became my husband, you know, worked like quite odd hours and and so we just worked really hard to just make a basic living at that time. And there was no not no time necessarily, but I guess the energy wasn't there or wasn't I the energy was to sort of go day by day. There was none none of that about what do we do in the future because I don't know, let's see if we can buy spaghetti for dinner tonight kind of

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (23:59.155)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (24:04.859)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. absolutely. Yeah. Do you know, I mean I often say this because I'll often we often have these conversations about kind of going back to, you know, who you were back back then. And I love and I love this opportunity to sort of reflect and people, you know, we we rarely get to do it to get to but look back at who we were and how we've become what we are today.

Sonia Bell (24:05.622)
If that makes sense? I don't know. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (24:22.636)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (24:22.771)
But I don't there's no part of me that remembers anything about my thirties or or who I was in my thirties. Do you know what I There's like a whole it's like the lost decade for me. I mean, I can see things and and see that I did them, you know, but I'm but I can't remember I have no concept in that time as as to who I was or what I wanted from life or or any of those things. I just knew that was working really, really hard and as you as you say, it's to kind of for whatever the next thing is for the next day, rather than having this, you know, big life view which

Sonia Bell (24:33.236)
It's interesting. Mm.

Sonia Bell (24:51.886)
plan in place. Yeah. Yeah. So that was my twenties, definitely. Yeah, for me. Yeah. Just day by day and just can I do it? Can I be here tomorrow? Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (24:52.389)
I've never had, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (25:02.013)
So obviously you say you were working at that point. So were you actually teaching at this point? Had you you gone to uni, I take it, you'd done your teaching quals? tell me about this.

Sonia Bell (25:08.002)
No, my pathway was a little different. So I was I straight from high school. I had intended to do the uni pathway, but having moved out of home in year eleven, about halfway through year eleven, I I where I lived was quite a bit of a distance from my school and I so I didn't want to shift schools in, you know, year eleven. That seemed a bit crazy. So I rode,

like my bicycle, my deadly treadly, you know, and that was like about a 30 minute ride each way. so ti so time became a bit different in in how I used it. And so my grades slipped a bit a bit a lot, you know, and also just boys were on the scene, you know, my my to be husband was on the scene. so I went from high school to

from my part time job into my full time job, which was a checkout chick at Food Fair, which was like the era of Charlie Carters and Food Fair in in Perth where they are like an IGA equivalent, I guess. Yeah, yeah. So I worked there for on and off for quite a long time. So I worked full time there. I coached gymnastics to all ages, kids, adults, you know, through that time.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (26:15.678)
right, okay.

Sonia Bell (26:29.16)
then I did some office work for quite a while, like admin and accounting and you know, quite a few that type of role. And then I started my family and started sort of doing part-time roles around having my kids to just supplement the family income. So it wasn't until I got separate until I separated and got divorced that I went, okay, I need to rethink my world. I wanna I want to rethink my world.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (26:46.836)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (26:58.919)
And that's when I decided to go to EMI in my thirties.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (27:01.365)
so this is in your thirties. Okay. So we're into a different kind of decade now, and this there's this new kind of iteration of Sonia. So are we you so you're single at this point, presumably, and you're, you know, you've kind of this turned this new path. You've decided that obviously you're gonna go down this uni path. You've got two young children at this point as well. So so talk me through that. So tell tell talk me through that story and kind of how you sort of you know.

Sonia Bell (27:06.774)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (27:12.525)
Yes.

Sonia Bell (27:21.549)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (27:26.465)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (27:29.651)
Started your journey to becoming who you are today from this.

Sonia Bell (27:33.465)
So it was my thirties were truly an incredible decade. Like some in mostly positive ways, some debatably, you know, not so positive or not so mm. Anyway, I'll let you decide. You can just you can tell me. So it was in my early thirties that I was the one that made the choice to leave the marriage. it hadn't been going well for a long while, so

marriage ended. unfortunately the few five or so years after the marriage ended were very, very difficult. A lot of legal interference, not interference, a lot of legal situations, a lot of police being called. It was really quite awful. So there was that happening. I was single for the first time as an adult or as a person ever.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (28:29.767)
Yes. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (28:32.012)
So my now ex-husband was my first po boyfriend. So here I am, 30, going, I don't understand what this dating thing is. I guess the the saying was somebody said, Well, it looks like you were making up for lost time. So I was single and ready to mingle, as they said. So we would like my friends and I would go into Northbridge and be, you know.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (28:36.638)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (28:42.59)
No.

Sonia Bell (29:02.466)
Dancing, meeting people, you know, dating people, and just exploring who I was as an adult and beginning to learn about.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:07.071)
Yeah.

Yeah. Because you because you wouldn't have had the opportunity or didn't get the opportunity to do that when most people were kind of doing that in late teens, early twenties. So I guess that's kind of like you're you're almost exploring this adulting business at a later age almost. Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (29:18.525)
Exactly.

Sonia Bell (29:22.774)
Yeah. Yeah, I waited like a decade later than most people. Yeah, exactly. That was exactly what it was like. so I was just older than everybody else doing it. So you know, yeah. So it was it was it was an incredible time. I I applied to uni through, you know, a mature age entrance, and was

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:28.062)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (29:47.479)
Be honest, a little bit gobsmacked when I got it when I got accepted. I was like, wow, I I can do this. Because, you know, self-doubt is always, you know, our biggest foe, isn't it? so I started uni part-time. I was working part-time, I was single parent to two kids. you know, it was a lot, a a lot, a lot, and trying to be single around all of that and have a bit of of a life, but not so much when you're a uni.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (29:52.915)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:06.493)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (30:15.554)
So then after being at uni part time for six months and I realized that there was another eight years of that ahead because you know that's how long it would take, I was like, no, that's got knobs on it. I'm gonna do this differently, I'm gonna go full time and I just won't sleep. Sleep's overrated. so I went full time, I worked part time, I cleaned houses, I worked in offices, I I did whatever whatever work was around.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:24.861)
Yes, part time, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:31.67)
Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:39.441)
wow, Sonia. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (30:42.924)
around my kids. So they went to their dads every other weekend. And that was the weekend that I went out with my friends. and, you know, sort of was me for a little while. I would be at uni during the day when my kids were at school. I'd pick them up from school, would come home, we'd be a family, the three of us, would watch Tally, we'd do our time together, and I'd put them to bed. And I wouldn't do anything like in terms of uni in that time. That was like my family time. That was really sacred to

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (30:52.318)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (31:11.788)
just carve that out because I was so busy that I knew that I I can get carried away with like I'm gonna work, I've got to work, kind of so even now. so I was really careful to try not to do that. Put the kids into bed. So maybe by about nine o'clock, everybody settled and then I would start doing my my study. And I would study until probably one or two, go to bed, up again at 6 30 or 7, and hit the day again. And that was it for four years. Well

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:18.803)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:37.203)
Then do it all again the next day.

Sonia Bell (31:41.817)
took a little longer because I I deferred in my third year. There was a a my elder son had his best friend sadly passed away and it it impacted him in a in a really huge way. So I took time out of uni to to be with him. and then went back after that. But yeah, so finally graduated or in the middle of twenty and thirteen.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (31:56.692)
Right, okay.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (32:00.905)
Be set for him, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (32:10.523)
Wow. I mean it's just it always it's so fascinating, isn't it? Because kind of the energy that you come into this with as a 30 something, as you say. I mean, like I I used to I used to teach at one of the colleges in the city and I would have a lot of

you know, sort of sixteen to twenty-five year olds mostly that were learning, you know, and they but every now and again I would also get a thirty something mum that was in the group and like you, you know, she'd also have a job. She was at college learning something learning a new skill.

and she was raising kids and often it was as a single mum, you know. So obviously so like you. And these were always the ones that you knew that those were the ones that were gonna get their assignments in on time. You were absolutely gonna get all the work from and I knew that those sixteen year olds were eighteen year olds would be kind of going, I just haven't had the time to do it And you're like you've got this mum who's like, you know, looking at me in bloodshot eyes, kind of like I think Shuidra just lumped the more than I was

Sonia Bell (32:44.545)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (32:50.636)
Yep. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (33:00.094)
Yes, yes.

That is exactly like you've just summed it up perfectly. And I was one of the people that that a lot of the other, like my other classmates would message me and go, did you get the notes? Or did you hear what, you know, when's the assignment due? Or what did you get for that answer? You know, I'd be the person that they would come to because Yeah. Absolutely. And I

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (33:21.694)
Yeah.

Yeah. Someone send your mum to like seventeen other kids because, you know, they've not been paying attention.

Sonia Bell (33:34.093)
I remember we did a I can't remember what the class was specifically for at uni, but they were talking about organization because it's a skill and there's so many of the younger people that they it's not a skill they have yet. And I was they asked, you know, what do you do to be organized to get ready from, you know, when you get up in the morning, what's your routine? And these kids like kids, you know, well, you know, we get up and we might go and buy a coffee at Muzbaz and we might, you know, and it was all this

doing nothing and fluff. and like you said, and I don't have time to do my assignment. And I was like, okay, so the night before I lay out my kids' uniforms for school, I make their lunges, you know, and all these sort of like and literally this whole room full of, you know, 18 and 19 year olds. It was hilarious because they're looking at me like I'm an alien and and they're just

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (34:05.171)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (34:17.95)
Yeah.

A gog

Sonia Bell (34:30.808)
But i yeah, it was really funny. But a lot of them now who I'm still in touch with are parents and they get it. They're like, Took me twenty years on, but I I I I get it now.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (34:36.445)
Yeah, they're getting it now. They're there now.

I mean, look, to be fair, I am one of these that has to be pushed into a corner to be organized. You know, there has to be deadlines. There has to be, you have to kind of back me into a corner. I'm not naturally in my, you know, I mean, we've both well, I've got a friend who's a she's a VA and she's super, super organized. And she's always so mortified by the fact that I don't have lists, the fact that, you know, but in my head, I'm organized. And when I get backed into that corner, I will be all over it.

Sonia Bell (34:49.004)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (35:10.314)
Yeah, yeah. That's ADHD. Again, it is yeah, it is yeah. It and it's the truth. Absolutely. It's actually yeah, I find that science behind that really fascinating. Like it really intrigues me the mind. But it doesn't help me when when I'm like you said, it's like, my god, my assignment is due in two hours and it's two AM. Okay, I can do this. And that happened. That happened. I'm just gonna leave it there. Full stop.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (35:15.438)
We can just do things really, really fast when we need to. That's that's the thing. You have to be backed into a corner to do that.

Yeah Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (35:33.865)
So

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (35:37.869)
Yeah. Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah. Yeah. No, no. I I I hear ya. I hear ya. And you know, and it was funny because both my kids are the same and it used to drive me nuts, but I know I couldn't say anything about it because I too am that person. I am the kind of like what's the last possible minute? What's the longest we can leave this?

Sonia Bell (35:39.906)
How many times I don't know, but it definitely happened more than once.

Sonia Bell (35:54.735)
Or even maybe a few minutes after the last possible minute, if I can fudge it. I don't know. Is that just me? good.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (36:03.285)
Not at all. So obviously, this was you had this big this big shift, this big sort of pivot in your 30s where you really begin to kind of take control of who you are and the direction that you're going in, and really kind of almost coming back to yourself with your with the teaching that had, you know, you'd been inspired by this teaching when you were younger. You had already done coaching. So you were already kind of around kids. So taught me as you then go into your, you know, your next decade into your 40s.

Sonia Bell (36:27.309)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (36:32.085)
How was that moving for you? Because obviously I'm taking it by that time your kids are coming into teens themselves, yeah?

Sonia Bell (36:38.486)
Yes, yes. So my kids so I yeah, I started in in teaching then and that's in and of itself is it's a huge job. there's the yeah, it it it's it requires a lot of you as a person. and so that's not something that you

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (36:56.413)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (37:02.478)
It's not something you can appreciate, I don't think, until you do it. And like, you know, many things in life. People can tell you until they're blue in the face, but until you live it and experience it, it's a little different. So when I started living an experience and I was like, whoa, this has got this is yeah, this has got some stuff going on. So I I really had to, I guess, kind of pull my big girl nickers up and and really be

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:10.378)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (37:30.945)
on top of everything and I the reason I went to uni, well there's a few. One obviously to become a teacher. But along with that and just as importantly, I wanted to show my kids, they're both boys, I wanted to show my boys that anything was possible, no matter what. And I wanted to be able to support them. Because unfortunately at the time their dad wasn't financial

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (37:49.952)
Mm. Love.

Sonia Bell (38:00.366)
And I was like, right, it's up to me and I'm gonna take that and I'm gonna run with that. And my eldest son has been to uni and you know he's on his path, which is i is awesome. and he has said to me, he said, I went to uni because I saw what you did and I knew if you could do it with two kids and you know all the th all the things, then I could do it.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:18.003)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:23.977)
Yeah, love that.

Sonia Bell (38:24.086)
So that's what I'd hoped for, that he would they would at least see and it didn't have to be uni, it's it's anything, whatever you want. You know, if you've got a goal or a a dream, then you can try. So that was really important to to give it a go. So my 40s was a lot of just working, building myself in my career, becoming more comfortable with the fact that I had a career.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:29.949)
Yes, yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:37.139)
Yes, yeah. Yeah, I love that.

Sonia Bell (38:52.994)
Finding out what it was like to have an income that was consistent, that was new to me. Like I'd never had that at all in my whole life. So that was, yeah. I remember my very first paycheck. I went out and bought a brand new handbag that cost probably at the time, I think maybe 80 bucks. And to me then that was like, my God, it's like I could have fed the kids for a month on that, you know, kind of feeling. because it's, you know, like comparatively and

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (38:57.333)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:13.107)
I have made it. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (39:23.722)
Yeah, it it was a real shift. It was a shift in thinking and a shift in just being. So the forties was much more about, I guess, settling into my life. it was also the time when my younger son he he became ill and has an ongoing chronic medical condition that we didn't know what it was for a long time. he has narcolepsy, which is considered a rare condition.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:33.299)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (39:50.689)
Sonia Bell (39:53.238)
and at the time when he was diagnosed, he his case was the worst in the country. So we used to have a joke. Well, I used to have a joke. I'm like, you know what? I always said if you're gonna do something, you do it bloody well, mate. So good on you. Because you've got to do something to yeah. It it's it's a he's had a tough road, a really tough road. So yeah, that was Forties was navigating that being his.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:01.203)
Whoa.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:13.371)
Yeah.

Yeah. wow, okay.

Sonia Bell (40:23.167)
advocate because he needed an advocate because he he was a kid and nobody believed me that he was sick. Nobody. doctors told me I was crazy. I had a doctor who I won't say the actual word, but he said, you've just got to get it through your head that your son is effing crazy.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:32.99)
Okay.

Sonia Bell (40:44.681)
Absolutely word for word. Like I at the hindsight I should have reported him, obviously, but at the time I was I was in survival mode and I knew that he was sick. I knew something wasn't right. and it took

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (40:51.806)
Whoa.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And I guess I mean at this point also you're in lioness mode, so you're there just trying to advise advocate for your son. I mean you'll you'll take those battles on later, but for now it's like let's get this kid sorted by coming back for you. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (41:02.679)
Yes.

Sonia Bell (41:08.703)
Yeah, hundred percent. A hundred percent exactly that. It was just Mama Bear Linus is like yeah, so when he finally got diagnosed, I must admit I had a moment of like, ha, told you so feeling. Didn't verbalise that to people because I get that people only know what people know. And what it looked like from the outside was that he was gaming all night and sleeping all day and just couldn't be bothered.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:22.216)
Yeah. Wow.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:28.948)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:37.813)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (41:37.9)
That's what it had the appearance of. But there was so much more to that. And until you live it, breathing, you know, like everything, again, until you experience that, you don't know. so yeah, the diagnosis was a relief to know that okay, we know what to deal with we're dealing with now, but also quite heartbreaking because there's no there's no cure at this point and there is limited treatment options.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:40.701)
Yes.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:46.376)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (41:57.64)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (42:02.717)
Okay.

Sonia Bell (42:07.973)
you know, i yeah, it it's it's it's not an easy condition to deal with. So and he slept

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (42:11.965)
Yeah. So how does it present itself? Because I I mean like I mean like narcolepsy was kind of one of those things what you would always kind of joke about in terms of like, you know, I I mean I'll say my my my mum's got my husband's got nine of narcolepsy because he'll kinda like constantly fall asleep when he's, you know, watching his favourite programme. So it's that well that's kind so it's that so from a kind of like, a funny, funny ha ha kind of view, that's what it is. But talk tell me about what that actually means in reality for somebody who has that diagnosis.

Sonia Bell (42:26.677)
Yeah, absolutely. Movies love it.

Sonia Bell (42:34.273)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (42:40.551)
Yeah. So for Ethan, he before he was diagnosed, so before medication, he was sleeping sixteen hours up to twenty-six hours, depending, at a go. And he would not wake up at all. So there was no toilet, no food, no movement. and then when he did wake up, it would be maybe two hours.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:09.779)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (43:09.797)
And at best and he would be as tired as though he'd been awake. So the the way they explain the tiredness that narcoleptics feel, they said if you were to stay awake for two to three days without any sleep at all, that's the level of egg of exhaustion and tiredness that he feels every day. Like every day. He's twenty six now, or nearly twenty six. Yeah. Yep.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:32.851)
So how old was he at this point? Right. Okay. Wow, okay. gosh, that's like man, that's hard. Yeah. Well

Sonia Bell (43:41.589)
It's it it's yeah, i it is really hard. he slept his teenage years away. Like I was

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (43:47.989)
And this is the thing because I suppose that would be a that would be a hard call because you know, it's like teenagers are renowned for sleeping in, you know. I they're renowned for and it's that it's that thing where you kind of go, where does this go beyond being kind of a normal teenager, it's eleven o'clock, you're still in bed, kind of thing, into actual concern. As you say, twenty-six hours is a bloody concern, you know. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Sonia Bell (43:54.263)
Ye exactly. Yep.

Sonia Bell (44:01.77)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (44:07.285)
Yeah, yeah, it really is. It's it's a decent effort. No, i and that's what I got told a lot. Like doctors were saying well as a teenager, it's normal. I'm like, it's not. Like, you know that instinct, like we know you know when your kids are not well in some form. And I I didn't know what, I didn't know why, I didn't know any of the answers. I just knew that he wasn't well. it wa it was a really tough, you know, period of time and I think it was a

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (44:19.337)
Yeah, you know.

Sonia Bell (44:36.991)
I'm just trying to remember. I was an eight-year diagnosis, like from symptom onset to diagnosis, which is actually quick. the Australian average is about 10 years because it's so rare, it is not something that they look at as a general rule. There's usually, you know, a whole plethora of other possible things. So for him, unmedicated, he just sleeps, like I said, all that time, wakes up, barely, barely functions, barely eats.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (44:42.495)
My

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (44:48.159)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (45:06.337)
goes to the bathroom, the toilet. Showering is o out of the question. Like it is too much physical exertion to shower. so the I we thinking back now, I actually, you know, when you sometimes you don't remember things like it just made me think. There were many times where, you know, we would attempt to shower because you still have to, you know, have basic hygiene. But it would be

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (45:33.435)
Yeah. Hygiene. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (45:36.278)
irregular and it wouldn't be, you know, every day by any standards. And he would fall asleep in the shower every time. So he would just like start to and lay down and be asleep on the bottom of the bathtub where we had a shower over the bath and be asleep. you know he he fell asleep cooking dinner one night. I asked him if he thought he could try because it's all about, you know, what can you achieve?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (45:41.941)
my gosh, wow.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (45:54.691)
my god. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:04.18)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (46:04.799)
And he thought he could and he had something on the stove and w I found him asleep on the floor in the kitchen and the stove was boiling over. So there's some real you know, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:13.677)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that's that's yeah, that's some a real kind of life impact there that's gonna kind of yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sonia Bell (46:20.491)
Very much, yeah. But then there are other times like that he fell asleep and landed in his breakfast cereal. So, you know, there are funny times too. So you know. Or when you go to the hospital

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:28.661)
I mean, I remember us having jet lag on our very first trip to Australia and actually falling asleep holding an ice cream. I remember that. But I mean that's you know, but it's a kind of and actually my son fell asleep in his ice cream. But but it's like but yeah, I mean, but you can laugh at those moments because they're kind of one-offs and it's related to, you know, lack of sleep, but you can see obviously how that impacts, you know, has the effect that has on you. so obviously for you, you're still teaching through all of this time, I take it. So

Sonia Bell (46:37.069)
Did you get it on your face?

Sonia Bell (46:44.141)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (46:57.619)
You know, and your your and where's your where are you finding yourself now in your work? Because I know obviously what it is that you have gone on to do, but talk to me about what you were doing and how that started to change for you. Because obviously you were in a system and then you were finding that a challenge.

Sonia Bell (47:14.085)
Yeah, so I I love teaching. I love it. Like I yeah, I don't know how to say it other than that. Like I just absolutely love it. So doing the job was fabulous. doing the teaching, I should say, was fabulous, but the job has been changing for a long time, you know, and it not just me, any teacher will tell you the paperwork, the

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:22.163)
Yeah. I hear ya.

Sonia Bell (47:40.042)
the boxes to be ticked, the red tape to be, you know, battled. There's there is like I we could talk for hours about the things that are now part of the role that haven't been in the past and maybe, in my opinion, shouldn't be a part of a teacher's role. but it's so much more now in Australia at least, or in WA at least, about

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:41.663)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (47:58.213)
No, no, for sure.

Sonia Bell (48:06.199)
ticking boxes, you know, and budgets. my gosh. Do you have enough money for this? No. So sorry. We had we had a budget of $150 for our classroom per year. And we had no curtains. So I bought we bought our own curtains for the classroom. No bookshelves. So we bought our own bookshelves. Like, you know, nothing pretty on the wall. No, you know, all the things that

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (48:09.373)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (48:35.029)
makes a classroom homey and and and a nice feel, almost always the teacher buys them out of their own money. Almost always.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (48:37.253)
Yeah. And what age were you teaching?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (48:44.265)
What what would the what was the age group that you were teaching?

Sonia Bell (48:47.018)
I mostly taught year fives and sixes, so they're sort of ten, eleven, twelve year olds. So preteen. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (48:49.937)
Yeah. Yeah, so still kids. So still kind of need to have that kind of environment. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah. A hundred and fifty dollars for the year. my gosh, that's insane. Right, okay.

Sonia Bell (48:56.577)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (48:59.959)
For the whole year. Yeah. And you could pay that just for a box, like because you could only buy things from government approved suppliers. And government approved suppliers charge like three times what you could get at foot of at Kmartis or wherever. You can't you're allowed to use those things because they are not approved. Yeah. It does.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (49:10.461)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (49:16.317)
Yes. Yes, of course. Yeah. Government approved. my gosh. It just makes your head spin, doesn't it? I mean, I I would say, like, you know, I've I've done teaching many times over and over throughout my career. And like you, I love teaching. I absolutely adore it. I adore the students. I love the whole process. I love everything about it. I

Sonia Bell (49:33.153)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (49:38.343)
It's the it's again, it's the system, it's the politics, it's the paperwork, it's the box ticking, it's the you know, bums on seats, kind of they're not they're they're just a number kind of attitude that just kills my soul. So so tell me what it is that you so obviously you went on to do something a bit different. So tell me about that. Tell me about what that what you created from that.

Sonia Bell (49:40.833)
Yeah. Yeah.

Hundred percent. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (49:50.656)
Yeah. So

Sonia Bell (49:59.15)
Yeah.

So the very so the just the final straw to that I the sort of what made me jump ship, I guess. like you said, my it was breaking my soul. I remember going to my my admin, my principal, about a student who had a tricky home life, you know, things were not easy for them, and they academically had some challenges and

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (50:09.429)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (50:32.585)
A lot for that kid to deal with, and most teachers are aware that you can't teach a kid well, and he can he or she can't learn well if they're not in a place of being settled in some form. Like if they're sitting in their in their seat and they've got in their mind about being homeless or mum getting battered, or you know, these are awful thoughts, but these are reality.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (50:49.237)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (50:54.536)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (50:58.535)
Yes. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (51:00.427)
And when kids are having those circumstances and their bodies and their minds and their nervous systems are living that and you're trying to teach them how to, you know, do, I don't know, division, it doesn't, it doesn't work. And I tried to ask for some assistance for a ch for a student. I said, this child needs a little bit of help here before we can teach them. And I got told, Sonia, it's not your job to

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (51:16.565)
No, no.

Sonia Bell (51:30.135)
Help them. You just teach. You're a teacher. Do that. And that's all. And it broke me. And I had to leave. And yeah. So I left, obviously. And to be honest, I didn't know what I was gonna do exactly, but I knew I wanted to teach. Like you, I love it. I love the whole thing. the system, I couldn't go back into a a government school for just for me. I just it just

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (51:37.705)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (51:50.429)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (51:59.32)
doesn't feel right. I have done a bit of work in the Catholic school system because that they're a they've got a different way of looking at things and I love just being with the kids. That's all, you know, it's just a casual thing when I, you know, here and there. So my business now it came about through really like, hey, why don't we stupid ideas like, you know, two o'clock in the morning, I know, why don't we? I don't even remember. But

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (51:59.508)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (52:07.657)
Okay.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (52:27.093)
It evolved and it evolved and I suddenly realized that most of the homeschooling kids everywhere are homeschooling because they were like that student I was just talking about. They weren't getting what they needed in a mainstream. And so they were the kids I'd been trying to help in the mainstream and hadn't been able to. So I wanted to find a way to do that outside of the mainstream.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (52:39.315)
Yeah, yeah.

Sonia Bell (52:53.151)
So I'm like, well, and I said to my husband, I'm like, well, I I want to take my classroom to them. Like, can't I do that? And he's like, yes, dear, because you know, he's a very abiding husband, yes, dear. And then I said, Well, I could put a caravan and you know, and I started with that idea. And he I he is amazing. He supports me every step of the way. I'm sure he thought I was crazy. Well, more so than usual.

But then I started researching, like I said earlier, and I found this caravan that was, if I if I showed you photos, the the before and after is quite astounding. so my stepdad and my husband rebuilt this shell of a caravan into this really cute little classroom. And I had two students in my first term, and that was beginning of last year, and I've been sort of

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (53:40.175)
wow.

Sonia Bell (53:50.806)
evolving as we go because you know you find what needs to be offered and what people are looking for but still it's homeschooling. I've also shifted into helping teenagers and preteens with the school refusal, school can't. It's a lot of that. And again that's nervous systemulated and our world is not kind to our body. It's just not.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (53:54.493)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (54:18.525)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (54:19.693)
technology, there's a million and one things. So I've got a I've developed a program to help them and it's an analog program. We have what I call the tech tank. So their phones and any tech they bring into the classroom that goes in there for the whole two hours. And even that can be really stressful for them, which I don't want it to be stressful, but we talk about it. We get through it. We manage. so I I'm I'm

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (54:38.707)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (54:46.923)
This get this allows me to help those kids that I couldn't help.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (54:50.549)
Do you know I love this? I love that, you know, as I say, because this isn't this wasn't just a kind of like a spark of an idea for you, right, going back to the t the whole teaching thing. And to be told that, you know, you're a teacher, actually you're a human first.

You know, it's like your teacher is like separate from the fact that you're a human with a heart and with emotions and feelings and empathy and all of these things. It was, you know, that's just shocking. So obviously you went on to to create the this spark of an idea that came. Was that did you ever have moments of like, you know, who am I to do this differently? Or were you absolutely certain at that point that you were on the path that you should be?

Sonia Bell (55:03.999)
And that's what yes.

Sonia Bell (55:10.529)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (55:18.551)
Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sonia Bell (55:24.567)
Yes.

Sonia Bell (55:30.285)
Fleeting moments of who am I doing to do this differently, but at the same time, this feels actually similar to when we were talking about in my 20s: that whole trying to please, but also knowing what I know and having my line. This is my line. Like I know this is what needs to be done. Like I know this is what families need. And

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (55:33.837)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (55:44.809)
Yes, yes, yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (55:53.831)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (55:55.37)
The more I'm talking to families and meeting, you know, parents of children who are either being homeschooled or they're considering homeschooling as an option, the more people I'm talking to, the more I'm seeing the need for this is it's it's crazy how many people are choosing to take their children out of school and out of just, you know, government schooling or any form of you know traditional schooling. And it's just

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (56:17.727)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (56:22.621)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (56:24.877)
I I I know it. Like it's it's a hard one to describe. I I do have imposter syndrome pretty much every minute of the day because like, am I really able to do this? Because like I I drive a bus for crying out loud. I mean, I never thought I would be driving a big yellow bus down the freeway full of, you know, cl like it's a classroom and then yeah, it's just

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (56:34.911)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (56:48.969)
It's surreal actually at times, but at the same time I know that it's what's needed and I I know I can help. And that sounds a little bit cheesy, but

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (56:56.999)
Yeah, I love this. No, I love it. I think it's brilliant that what you do. obviously this podcast is called The Unraveling. Now, you know, as I say, as I said to you at the start, this was kind of based on the fact that my unraveling kind of came round about perimenopause-ish season. and but as I've been having these conversations with women, you some women it came in their 20s, their 30s, their forties. So it could it, you know, the kind of unravelings, it's kind of when the wheels came off. When was there a time for you where you kind of where the fed the wheels

came off or was that the kind of time when you just walked out of that job and went, Well, I'm I can't do this.

Sonia Bell (57:31.636)
Yeah, it was then because it I hadn't planned on leaving like because I still loved the job, I still loved the teaching. So I hadn't planned on leaving. literally I was at work and I'd had a day like a normal day and I got an email from somebody in the in in the system and it wasn't particularly pleasant, it was a little bit disparaging, and there was just this snap.

There was just it was done. I looked at that email and I'm like, why am I selling my soul when they won't even let me help these kids? Like, why I'm not doing what I'm here to do. So I went home that night, cried like crazy. the wheels definitely fell off. The unraveling was extreme. I took probably a good year of just trying to.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (58:13.672)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (58:30.305)
to I guess recover, become well again because I was really I I realized I was really unwell. Like, you know, my my mental health at the time was really suffering from, like you said, being told don't be human, don't use your empathy. And I am that's who I am. I'm like that's just I am that kind of touchy feely kind of person. So being told not to be me was just a bit weird. And also

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (58:44.989)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (58:52.603)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (58:58.67)
It it s just felt wrong. So it took a while. yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (59:00.787)
And I guess as well, for like as a as a teacher, if you're feeling that kind of, you know, round peg pushed into a square hole thing yourself, then you have way more understanding of what that feels like for those kids that have been forced to do that as well. So, you know, I mean, I know you say you get imposter syndrome about this, but actually you are the perfect person for this, really, because that, you know, I mean, like you, you have a full understanding of what system they're trying, you know, you know what the system does to you as an adult.

Sonia Bell (59:15.053)
Exactly. Yes.

Sonia Bell (59:21.847)
Huh. Thank you.

Sonia Bell (59:30.73)
Exactly. Imagine a child trying to navigate it. And and as a mother of a a child that has medical needs, and it doesn't have to be medical, but being advocates for a child in any form that there's a drive, like there's a I don't know, a passion or a stubbornness, maybe it might be called. I I and

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (59:30.909)
You know. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (59:56.809)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (59:59.586)
For me, injustice is intolerable. Like it's it is my pet peeve. Like, you know, everybody's got their like, you know, injustice is just something I cannot handle. And that's what I felt like it was, you know, at the schools and for my son not getting, you know, being told he was faking and that I was I even got told that my son was a victim of Munchhausen by proxy, that I was his cap you know, his captor. It was

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:00:05.459)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:00:29.709)
It's crazy what some people come up with. So I sort of have this real like this really strong I just I I wanna help. I don't know how else to say it and it sounds cheesy and I know it sounds cheesy when I say it, but I don't know

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:00:31.944)
Whaaaa

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:00:40.115)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the it the fun it the thing is it's not even because really, I mean, like you wouldn't do this for yourself, but you will do it for the for those kids. And so there's that passion, that drive, you know, there's still that there's still, you know, a young girl there who knew what that was like. That's kind of going, right, okay, I I know this, I've experienced this, I'm gonna do this for those kids. So that's a real kind of, you know, so your unraveling turned into something.

Sonia Bell (01:01:00.503)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:01:04.075)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:01:08.769)
very positive one is and can still continues to be for those you know for those that you that you work with. what has what has been the hardest part for you?

Sonia Bell (01:01:15.393)
Yeah. Thank you.

Sonia Bell (01:01:23.682)
Funnily enough, the fact that there is never been this service offered in the country anywhere. there is nobody else that does this role or this job or this business. I my theory is that one, it is a very strange idea, like you know, it's odd. and so maybe other people aren't as odd as me. I don't know, maybe.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:01:35.72)
Okay.

Sonia Bell (01:01:51.45)
And the fact that people don't know when you're trying to sort of get a service out to the people that need it, when you are looking for a plumber as an example, like you know, your tap isn't working, you're like, okay, a plumber fixes a tap, I'll ring a plumber. When you've got a child or children who are homeschooled and you think, God, I wish there was someone who could help me, because there's never been a teacher who would come to you.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:02:20.671)
Yes.

Sonia Bell (01:02:21.129)
and support you with a classroom in tow. There's never been that before. And so how do you know to look for something that you didn't even know existed? So trying to get my name out there, well my name that you know the the idea out there has in the very beginning at least been the probably the most challenging thing. and that's word of mouth just starts to, you know, and I I do what we do, you market and you know

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:02:26.236)
No.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:02:31.125)
For sure.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:02:36.115)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:02:48.884)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:02:50.369)
You try all that. The funny thing, when I first started the business, you know, you set up all your your insurances and you know, you you protect your public liability and all the rest of it. But it took me I don't know how long, but a long time to get insurance for all the aspects of my business. Because when I said, my bus is a classroom, they're like, but but buses are classrooms. Like

And I had a guy say, but where's the bed? Because I said it was a converted bus because that's what, you know, they were offering insurance for. He's like, but where's the bed? I'm like, we don't need a bed, it's a classroom. And he's like, but we can't insure you if you don't have a bed. And I'm like, What? Like yeah, because they've got all the, you know, they've got their boxes to ticks that fit their insurance policy.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:03:23.796)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:03:29.151)
It's a classroom, yes. Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:03:35.269)
Huh? Why'd you do bet?

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:03:41.001)
I I get yeah, okay, I guess. If people yeah, bus conversions, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right.

Sonia Bell (01:03:44.724)
Yeah. And the same even with, you know, the public liability. They're like, so you're gonna have kids come into your caravan at the time and that's gonna be where they learn with you. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, We don't know what to do with that because we don't we don't have that on our system. So I've shaken up the industry a little.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:03:58.229)
Ha ha.

Isn't it brilliant that you've Yeah, I love this for you. This is such a brilliant thing that you've that you've done, that you're created. and I mean it re you know, it really is like because obviously your business is a tour and teacher and it's and it is extraordinary. But what I want to ask about you and not the business. Who did you have to become to make this happen?

Sonia Bell (01:04:17.207)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:04:27.499)
bit braver, I think. I had to be braver and more willing maybe, more I guess the word might be confident. I I talk a good talk and people think she talks a lot and she's out there and you know so that's confidence.

It's not always and I don't know whether you're someone or you you know, you and I are similar. I think in that we're quite, you know, outgoing and people find us fairly easy to chat with. And I am confident about, you know, a lot of things, but I still have that, but what if I'm not good enough to do this? What if people don't like the way I do it? what if what if, what if, what if, you know, the list is a mile long. So I have had to learn to trust myself, I guess.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:05:11.847)
Yeah, for sure.

Sonia Bell (01:05:20.085)
I do have the experience, I do have the knowledge, I do have specializations. You know, there are some areas with autism and specifically with PDA around autism that is very new in its entry into Australian education, but I was lucky, unlucky enough the for the poor child, but to have a student

with that diagnosis several years ago before it was even really known about. And so I learnt a lot and had a, you know, had an exper had experience with him. And that's now translated into I have many PDA students and I, you know, I I've gained a lot of knowledge around being their teacher. So I I guess I find it hard to say I know this.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:06:05.545)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:06:11.646)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:06:18.177)
And 'cause I feel like I'm being boastful and I d I that's something I really dislike. You know, I don't like that feeling. so I'm trying to find the balance between not being boastful and not being but being able to say factually.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:06:27.101)
I don't think you've been boastful, Sonia. But but claiming your experience, claiming your your gi and your gifts

They're not gifts. I mean, you've worked hard for these things, you know. It's not like, you know, nobody nobody gifted you this knowledge, you know, you worked hard, you got through the experience, you come out the other side, you have this as some that you're now able to pass on and help with the others. That's not boasting, that's just experience, you know, because that comes with time. I mean, like if you were to think about it, if one of the mothers that you work with, you know, she comes to you, she's exhausted, she's out of opportunity, she absolutely feels like she's failing, and she asks you how you found the courage, what would you tell her?

Sonia Bell (01:06:53.791)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:07:03.372)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:07:07.906)
Ooh wow That's a great question.

Sonia Bell (01:07:16.789)
I I think it's just gosh, I'm not even sure how to answer that. I I guess it y you take just the tiniest bit and let it grow. I don't think you walk into it being courageous. I think you you might tiptoe or or you might walk in, but you walk in perhaps a little hesitantly and then you grow it. I think that's what

I would have done anyway. I didn't walk in going, this is what I can do, and I know I can do it because there's been a lot of learning, a lot of mistakes along the way. But yeah, I I think to l to like you said, to sort of be able to recognize when you have a skill, a talent, whatever sort of it's however you want to sort of frame it, and and be okay to

and willing to share that with other people which I to I find that hard. but I'm learning to to be able to do that now, sort of.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:08:24.405)
But you see, confidence is one of those things that only comes from, you know, we it's only when we get like w w you know, you kind of get evidence. It's an evidence based thing, isn't it? Confidence. You know, you do something, you have the evidence that you didn't die when you did it, it was okay, you succeeded at it, you know, so you'll do it again. And of course, after a little while you'll become quite confident in doing it because, you know, you've done it before, you're not gonna know.

Sonia Bell (01:08:34.294)
Yeah. Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:08:40.493)
Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:08:46.265)
nothing terrible's gonna happen. So that's kind of how we how we build on confidence. So I guess the more you kind of do that showing up for yourself, the being brave and you know, and again what you would tell that mother is just keep doing it. I think that one step forward every time is just the it's the only thing that's available. If it the only thing of it is available to you is one step forward to take that one step because that's how you grow your confidence. That's how you grow your courage. Yeah. Yeah. is there, you know

Sonia Bell (01:08:46.707)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:09:07.831)
Yeah, yeah, just yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, that yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:09:15.335)
What so so what does showing up for yourself mean, we've talked about this, so what does showing up for yourself look like for you right now? Not the teacher, not the founder, just you.

Sonia Bell (01:09:28.439)
That's something again that I've never really found easy. it's that whole people-pleasing thing, I'm sure. I have had some health issues over the past many years. so I have sort of been I don't like the word struggling with it, but I guess to a degree that's been impacting on

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:09:53.909)
Mm.

Sonia Bell (01:09:55.072)
everything that I've done. Like, you know, so I brought everything into work and then when I come home, my poor husband has to do everything else because I have no energy. But I've had some new treatment and literally just in this last week, I have energy for the first time in years. And so now showing up, I've already I'm like already planning it. Like I am going to or I want to, I should say. I want to be

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:10:02.357)
Mm.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:10:07.173)
Okay.

Sonia Bell (01:10:23.829)
able give myself permission to look after myself, which is something I have never really done. I've always yeah, I've never taken the time or put in the effort to look after myself. But yeah, I I think that is that is what I need to do and what I want to do. And I've just got to work out now how to do that. So

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:10:48.905)
Yeah. Well I think the how can I is a great question, isn't it? And it's about kind of like how will I? How will I? How can I? I I am, you know, I will do this. How can I? And I think that how can I question is so important because that really kind of it doesn't limit anything, it just opens the world up, doesn't it, to kind of all sorts of possibility rather than instantly jumping in with, you know, well I can't because you know, how can I? Open it up, open it up. Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent.

Sonia Bell (01:10:55.403)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:11:06.741)
Yeah.

Sonia Bell (01:11:12.949)
Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Changing the mindset is yeah. And I I say that to my students always. Like I you know, yeah, kids you grow them and it's funny that we can't always do it for ourselves even though we encourage it in others. Not looking at anybody, Karen.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:11:19.591)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:11:28.663)
yeah, absolutely. Take my advice, I don't use it.

So if you had to go back to that little well teenage Sonia, what would you go back and whisper to her?

Sonia Bell (01:11:47.541)
I guess

Sonia Bell (01:11:51.778)
Just maybe to have a bit of faith in who you are. Because once you've got that, the rest will it will sort itself out, you know. Just yeah, don't sweat the small stuff. I guess, you know what? That's it. I think that was gonna be it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Because I know in in my twenties, you know, small things would turn into big things, which would cause arguments with you know, and

I look back now and I'm like, my God, why did I care? Like, why did I care about the way the dishes were done as an example? You know, I remember a huge row I had with my with my husband, you know, about he preferred one way, I preferred another. And we had this huge row over it. And I mean, I think probably a lot of people can relate to that, but now I wouldn't it would it's like, hey, he's doing the dishes, that's a win. So yeah, not sweating the small stuff.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:12:43.759)
Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? I'm gonna go back to something you said right at the start of that and I'm gonna tell Sonia today that, and it's that have some faith in yourself. 'Cause you're here doing amazing things in the world.

Sonia Bell (01:12:47.339)
That would be, I think, the best advice I could give a

Sonia Bell (01:12:56.333)
Thank you, that's very kind.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:13:02.375)
Sonia, it's been an absolute joy talking to you today. Thank you so much for joining me. It's been so lovely hearing your story and, you know, and and obviously hearing like, as I say, the extraordinary things that you're doing in the world with the touring teacher. yeah, thank you for joining me.

Sonia Bell (01:13:14.817)
Thank you. Thank you so much. It's been so much fun. Thanks for having me.

Sharon Wilkes-Burt (01:13:21.609)
Right, I'm gonna keep here, I'm gonna press stop, and then that's gonna do it.