Episode 31: Uncover Your Purpose: 10 Life-Changing Questions

Powerful questions can fundamentally change the trajectory of our lives, helping us reconnect with what truly matters when we've lost sight of our purpose in the daily hustle. I share ten transformative questions that can help you break through barriers and create meaningful change.

• What do you truly desire to achieve in your life, beyond others' expectations or societal definitions of success
• Examining what would make you jump out of bed with excitement each morning as an indicator of purpose alignment
• Identifying your big audacious dream that both scares and excites you at the same time
• Understanding how achieving your goals will positively impact not just you but those around you
• Determining the specific skills or knowledge you genuinely need to move forward
• Establishing daily habits that consistently move you toward your goals rather than relying on occasional effort
• Considering the potential cost of not pursuing your authentic goals using the "deathbed test"
• Creating a detailed vision of your life after achieving your goal to train your brain for success
• Expanding your thinking to imagine exceeding your own expectations
• Exploring how professional guidance can help overcome obstacles and accelerate progress

Visit BrandonHeld.com to sign up for a free 15-20 minute consultation or coaching sessions to explore these questions more deeply with professional guidance.

Intro

Transcript

Introduction and Welcome

Brandon Held: Welcome back to Brandon. Held. Life is crazy. Episode 31. I'm your host Brandon Held. I'm grateful for those of you that have chosen to spend some time with me. If you're new here. I specialize in mindful, in purpose coaching, helping overwhelmed individuals find clarity and direction in their professional careers and personal lives.

Life really is crazy. We get caught up in the day-to-day hustle, meeting deadlines, fulfilling obligations, and somewhere along the way, many of us lose sight of what truly matters to us. And we forget to ask ourselves the big questions that could fundamentally change the trajectory of our lives.

The Importance of Life Coaching

Brandon Held: That's exactly what we're diving into today. I've spent a lot of time talking about [00:01:00] my journey as a man and. The things that I've gone through and the things that I've experienced, and I will continue to discuss those things and talk about those things. But today I wanted to give a little life coaching information for those who would be interested in being life coached.

So I'm gonna walk you through 10 powerful questions that have the potential to transform. Your perspective and help you rediscover your purpose. These aren't just any questions. They're the same questions I use with my coaching clients to help them break through barriers and create meaningful change in their lives.

So grab a notebook if you can, or you want to, or just sit back and listen. And let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together. Trust me, the next 30 minutes could be the catalyst to the change you've [00:02:00] been seeking. 

Question 1: Discovering Your True Desires

Brandon Held: So question one, what do you truly desire to achieve in your life? Let's start with perhaps the most fundamental question of all.

What do you truly desire to achieve in your life? This question seems simple on the surface. But it's actually quite profound. Many of us are living lives based on what others expect of us, our parents, our partners, society at large. We chase promotions, degrees, and possessions because we're told that's what success looks like.

But I want you to pause right now and ask yourself, if no one was watching, if no one would judge you, what would you truly want to achieve? What accomplishment would you feel would fill you with a sense of purpose and satisfaction? I remember working with a client, let's call her Sarah. Sarah had to [00:03:00] build a successful career in finance, checking all the boxes of what success should look like.

Great salary corner office in all respect from her colleagues. But when I asked her this question, she broke down in tears. She realized she's been living someone else's dream. What she truly desired was to work with children with special needs. Something she's always felt to do, but had to dismiss as impractical.

The beauty of this question is that it cuts right through the noise and connects you with your authentic self. Your true desires often reveal themselves in quiet moments. When you're daydreaming, when you feel a surge of excitement, about a possibility, or even when you feel envy towards someone else's path.

So take a moment [00:04:00] right now, close your eyes. If you can, take a deep breath and ask yourself, what do I truly desire to achieve in my life? Not what I should want, but what I actually want. And if you notice, I'm talking a little faster today than usual. It's because I have a lot of information I want to get through and I try to keep my podcast to 30 minutes, as and I've mapped this one out already.

And I feel like it's gonna go over 30 minutes, so I'm talking a little faster than usual. All right, so if you've taken the time to figure out what it is that you want in life let's move on to question two. Or maybe you write these questions down and you think about 'em later. Either way, you can pause the podcast or you can.

Just write the questions down and discuss them or think about them later, and hopefully someday you'll be discussing them with me in a life coaching session. 

Question 2: What Excites You Every Morning?

Brandon Held: So question two, what would make you jump out of bed every morning with excitement?

Think about [00:05:00] it. How do you typically start your day? Do you hit the snooze button multiple times? Do you drag yourself to the coffee maker? Dreading what lies ahead, or do you wake up, energized, eager to tackle the day? Your morning is awful. Often a powerful indicator. I. Of your alignment with purpose.

When you're pursuing something meaningful, something that resonates with your core values you're naturally feeling more energized. I work with a client we'll call him Michael, who was successful by all external measures, but found himself increasingly dependent on alarm clocks and coffee and sheer willpower to get through his days.

And during our coaching sessions, he realized that what would make him jump out of bed was the opportunity to mentor young entrepreneurs. And I [00:06:00] understood that, he started dedicating just one hour each morning to this passion before heading to his regular job. The transformation was remarkable.

Not only did his alarm become unnecessary, but the energy from those morning sessions carried him through the rest of the day with renewed purpose. Here's a practical exercise. Imagine you're going to bed tonight and you know that tomorrow you'll be spending the day doing something that's absolutely lights you up.

What would that be? What have you been setting your alarm earlier to do just so you could get started sooner? The answer to this question often reveals not just what you enjoy, but what energizes you at a fundamental level. And that's what life coaching is for me. I have [00:07:00] day job and I'm life coaching because eventually I want to quit that J job and I want to.

Be a full-time a hundred percent of the time, a life coach, because that is my passion. I really want to help people find their passion in life and follow their path, and that's why I'm doing this. So pause here, or again, if you're just writing down questions onto question three.

Question 3: Your Big Audacious Dream

Brandon Held: What is your big, audacious dream that scares and excites you at the same time? I've talked about this before. For me, my big audacious dream was I wanted to be a sports caster. I left the Air Force to do that. So I love this question because it pushes us beyond [00:08:00] our comfort zones. The most meaningful goals often exist in that sweet spot where excitement and fear overlap, right?

I remember that feeling of, oh, I'm going to be getting outta the Air force, which is security, which is comfort, fear, but. I could be a sportscaster, which was exciting. And the idea of doing that was amazing to me. So if a dream doesn't excite you or scare you a little, it might not be big enough of a dream for you.

That's the great. Think about achievements throughout history, landing on the moon, creating revolutionary technology, overcoming insurmountable obstacles, all these things began as dreams that were both terrifying and exhilarating. I had a client, I'll call her Jennifer, who [00:09:00] secretly dreamed of writing a novel, but had never written more than emails and reports for work.

The idea, both thrilled and terrified or what if she failed, what if she succeeded? Both possibilities were frightening in their own way. But that's. Combination of fear and excitement. That was a clear signal that this dream mattered more deeply to her. When you identify a dream that creates this dual response, you found something worth pursuing.

The fear tells you it's pushing your boundaries. The excitement tells you it's aligned with your authentic desires, so I ask you now. What dream have you been harboring that both scares you and excites you? Maybe it's starting a business. Maybe it's moving to a new country, [00:10:00] maybe pursuing a creative passion or making a major career shift.

Whatever it is, acknowledge it, write it down. The simple act of naming your audacious dream is the first step towards making it a reality. 

Question 4: Impact on Loved Ones

Brandon Held: Now we're gonna go on to question four and question four is, how will achieving this goal impact not only you, but also the people you care about?

That's a scary thing about chasing dreams, right? If you have a spouse or you have a family and you have people you have to take care of. You have to consider all of that, right? But then you also have to ask yourself, how will achieving this goal impact not only you, but also those people that you care about?

The question is powerful because it connects your personal aspirations to something larger than yourself. When we understand how our [00:11:00] goals can positively affect others, we often find deeper motivation and staying power. So it also gives you a bigger kick in the butt to keep going and to try hard and not fail because you have people that are relying on you and you can't fail.

You can't fail for them. I worked with a client. All clients' names are fake, by the way, named David, who wanted to transition from a corporate job to starting his own business. We explored this question. He realized that beyond the personal satisfaction action, succeeding in this venture would allow him to create a more flexible lifestyle.

To be present for his children in ways his father could never be for him, and it would enable his wife to pursue her own passions rather than [00:12:00] work solely for financial reasons, and it would potentially create jobs in his community. Suddenly his goal wasn't just about himself and his own fulfillment.

It was about creating a positive ripple effect for the people he loved. And the broader community. This perspective transformed his motivation from, I want this to this matters, right? All of a sudden he realized this thing he had been dreaming about. Wasn't just for him. It wouldn't only help him.

It would help him, the people he loved, and so many others. And having said that, here's a visualization vis visualization exercise. I'd like you to try close your eyes and imagine you've achieved your big goal. Now look around at the people in your [00:13:00] life. How has your achievement changed things for them?

What new possibilities opened up? What positive influences have spread because of your courage to pursue this dream? When we connect our personal goals to their broader impact, we tap into a deeper well of purpose that can sustain us throughout the inevitable challenges along the way.

Okay, now we're gonna go on to question number five. I hope you're following along. I hope you're writing these down. And if you don't have answers, take the time to think deep. 

Question 5: Skills and Knowledge Needed

Brandon Held: Question number five, what new skills or knowledge do you need to acquire to reach your goal? This question is it shifts us from inspiration to practical action.

Every meaningful goal requires growth, [00:14:00] developing new capabilities, acquiring new knowledge, mastering new skills, all those things. You have to identify these requirements for creating a realistic path forward. Now, there's an important distinction to make here sometimes. We use, I need to learn more as a form of procrastination.

We convince ourselves we're not ready yet, that we need another course, another certification, another degree, more money in a savings account. Before we begin, I had a client named Robert who wanted to start a consulting business, but kept delaying because he felt he needed more credentials.

Through our work together, he realized he already had the core expertise required. What he actually needed to learn was marketing and basic accounting. And once he focused on those specific [00:15:00] skills rather than general credentialing, he was able to launch his business with honesty and within months rather than years.

What specific skills or knowledge do you genuinely need to move forward? Not what would be nice to have, not what would make you feel more comfortable, but what is truly necessary? I. We have to take risks in life. Big risks sometimes come with big rewards and we can't be afraid to do that. Make a list of these essential skills and knowledge areas.

Then for each one, identify the most direct way to acquire it. Is it taking a specific course? Is it finding a mentor? Is it practicing through real world application? Is it reading certain books? Is it just needing the [00:16:00] motivation to get started and get going and, finding your way through the fog to line it all up and get it out there?

And I can help you with that. Remember, the goal isn't to become an expert in everything before you begin. It's to develop the minimum viable skills needed to take meaningful action towards your goal. Alright, on question six. 

Question 6: Power of Daily Habits

Brandon Held: Question six focuses on the power of consistency. What daily habits will move you closer to your goal?

Now, this is important because a lot of people believe you need to take one giant huge leap to work towards goals, but instead, small steps one, literally one step at a time. Just like you're walking in [00:17:00] life you get from point A to point B with your steps. You don't fly. You take one step at a time.

So your daily habits are the building blocks of your future. I worked with the client, Lisa, who dreamed of writing a book but couldn't seem to make progress. And then when we explored this question, she realized she needed to establish a daily writing habit, even if it was just for 30 minutes.

Prior to that she was just. Waiting for creativity to come to her brain, and some days creativity wouldn't come, so she wasn't making any progress. So instead she committed to writing first thing each morning before checking her email or social media. Or any of that stuff. And within six months she had a complete first draft, not because of any heroic writing marathons, but because of the compound effect of her [00:18:00] daily habit.

I mentioned in the past before that I'm listening to an audio book called The Power of Habit. And yeah, I would highly recommend that audio book to people. I'm not gonna veer off too much here and get into that, but it's just proven in history, time after time. The power of habit, right?

And so the most effective habits share a few key characteristics that are specific. They're manageable and they're directly connected to your goal. Vague intentions like, I'll work harder or I'll do better. They don't translate into action. Instead, define concrete behaviors that you can perform consistently.

Ask yourself, what is one small action I could take every day that would move me closer to my goal? Yeah, maybe it's dedicating 30 minutes to a specific skill, making three sales calls, writing 500 words, or spending time focused meditating, to improve your mental clarity.

Now, [00:19:00] whatever. Whatever it is, the size of the habit doesn't really matter. It's the consistency. So a small action performed daily will always outperform grand gestures done occasionally. What daily habits will you commit that will over time bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be?

So think about that. 

Question 7: The Cost of Inaction

Brandon Held: So now question seven, what is the potential cost of not pursuing this goal in your life? This is a huge question. 'cause sometimes we need to consider not just what we gain by trying to reach our goals, but what we lose by staying still, do we. Are we unhappy? Are you unhappy in your current life?

Are you going [00:20:00] to just keep living that way? Getting up and going to this job? You don't care for living this life. You don't care for. Maybe financially you struggle, right? But you're a success in pursuing your goals. In achieving your goals. Might make you financially free, give you financial freedom.

All you can see is the mountain you have to climb. Oh, I live paycheck to paycheck. I can't afford like things like a life coach to help me clear up my life. I can't afford things like going and taking this course so I can start working towards my goal. What you can't afford is to not do it.

What you can't afford is to keep living the way you're currently living. So there's a story of what Jeff Bezos [00:21:00] calls the regret minimization framework, which is making decisions based on which choice will leave you with fewer regrets when you look back on your life. I had a client, Thomas, who was considering a career change, but was hesitant to leave the security of his current position, like most people, right?

That's what most people get stuck with. They're afraid of leaving that security. It scares them. So when he explored the potential cost. Of not making the change. He realized he was looking at potentially decades of work that left him feeling unfulfilled, drained, and just getting by, just making ends meet.

He was gonna work until the day that he died, basically. So the cost of inaction suddenly seen much higher than the risk of the change. There's a powerful exercise called. [00:22:00] The deathbed test that can help you with in this question. Imagine yourself at the end of your life, looking back, if you don't pursue this goal, what will you regret?

What experiences will you have missed? What parts of yourself will remain unexpressed? What contributions will remain unmade? I told you when I was in the Air Force, I volunteered at a nursing home, and I don't know why I was young and dumb, but somehow it came to me to ask this question. I would travel around from room to room and I would visit these elderly people on their deathbed, and I would ask them this question, if you could give me any guidance and advice in life and how to live my best life, what would you say?

And every single person, not [00:23:00] 50%, not 70%, every single person said, I regret the things I didn't do. I don't regret anything I did, whether it worked out well or went badly. I regret the things I didn't do. So that sticks with me and I have lived my life with that mantra. I regret the things that I didn't do is not something I want to say at the end of my life.

This profound insight reminds us of the cause of not pursuing are. Goals and is often greater than we realize in the moment. So I ask you, what might you regret if you don't pursue this goal? What is the emotional, spiritual, or even financial cost of maintaining the status quo and sticking with [00:24:00] the life you're living now?

Sometimes clearly seeing what we stand to lose can provide the motivation we need to take. To take that first step forward. So think about that. 

Question 8: Visualizing Your Achieved Goal

Brandon Held: Question eight, what is your vision for your life once you've achieved this goal? Yeah, everyone envisions. What would I do if I won the lottery? At least Americans, we envision winning the lottery and being rich beyond our wildest dreams, and how would we spend all this amazing money that was just given to us. So instead of doing that, what is your vision for your life when you've achieved the goal? Visualisation is one of the most powerful tools we have.

Everyone knows about. Vision boards, make one. Don't be afraid to make a vision board. When you can clearly see and feel your desired future. You create a compelling [00:25:00] target that pulls you forward even when the path gets challenging. I worked with a client, Sophia, who wanted to transition from employee to entrepreneur.

We spent time developing a detailed vision of our life and making this transition. Not just the business aspects, her daily routine would change, how she would feel waking up each morning, the impact on her relationships, even the physical space she would work in. This vivid vision became a source of inspiration, she could return to whenever obstacles arose.

So here's how to create a powerful vision. Close your eyes and imagine you've achieved your goal. Make it as detailed as possible. What does your typical day look like? Who is around you? How do you feel physically and emotionally? What are [00:26:00] you doing that you couldn't do before? That's important.

What are you doing that you couldn't do right now? What problems have been solved? What new opportunities have emerge? Not just for you, but your family. The more sensory details you can include, the more real this vision becomes to your brain. Research and sports psychology shows that visualization activates many of the same neural pathways is actually performing and action.

So in essence, you're just giving your brain a preview of success. You are making the path towards it, feel more familiar and achievable. It doesn't seem unattainable. Your vision isn't just pleasant. It's a powerful tool that connects your current actions to your desired future. Revisit and refine this vision regularly, letting it guide your decisions and sustain your motivation.[00:27:00] 

Alright. On to question nine. 

Question 9: Exceeding Expectations

Brandon Held: What is the best case scenario if you exceed your own expectations with this goal? Our ninth question pushes us to the boundary of possibility. What is the best case scenario? This question invites you to expand your thinking beyond what you currently believe is possible.

Even we live in ourselves by setting goals that feel realistic based on our past experiences or our current circumstances. But what if you could achieve even more than you initially imagined? I have done the same thing as a life coach. And I had a client, Marcus, who wanted to grow a small business to support his family comfortably.

When we explored this question, he realized that if he exceeded his expectations, [00:28:00] his business could not only provide for his family, but could create jobs in his community, allowing him to mentor other entrepreneurs and eventually fund causes he cared deeply about, very similar. To the other client who also wanted to help his community.

So the, this made him energized in his initial realistic goal possible. So there's a concept called possibility thinking that's relevant here. Instead of asking, can I do this, which often triggers doubt and limitation, possibility thinking as. How might I do this? This subtle shift opens your mind to create solutions and unexpected opportunities.

So I invite you to dream bigger for a moment. If everything went not [00:29:00] just well, but extraordinarily well with your goal. What might be possible, what more, what doors might open. That you can't even see right now. How might your success create opportunities for others? What might you discover about yourself in this process?

When you allow yourself to envision exceeding your own expectations, you often find new sources of motivation and creative approaches that wouldn't have emerged with a more limited perspective. So really think about that.

All right, last question. 

Question 10: Why You Need Life Coaching

Brandon Held: Question 10, what is stopping you from signing up with me for life coaching lessons so I can help you reach your goals? I'm asking you this because I've already explained to you. [00:30:00] Living the same life that you already live is the only thing you can't afford to do. So if you're saying, oh, I can't afford you, Brandon, I can't pay that much for life coaching.

This addresses the fundamental question about truth and achievement. Right now, do you want to accelerate your progress as a mindfulness and purpose coach? I've seen firsthand how the right guidance can help people overcome obstacles, gain clarity and achieve results they couldn't reach on their own.

Let's explore some common hesitations people have about coaching. I should be able to figure this out myself. That's a big one, right? Many people are conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, right? But consider this even elite athletes, world-class [00:31:00] musicians and successful CEOs have coaches.

They understand that an external perspective can identify blind spots and opportunities. We simply can't see ourselves. Nobody has all the answers, not alone, and I don't have time. That's often a common objection. I understand that completely. Life is busy. Coaching isn't about adding another obligation to your calendar, it's about making the time you already have more effective and aligned with your true priorities.

And I've told you before, I'm not the person you can say, I don't have time to, because I've never believed that for anything in life. Priorities give you time. When you prioritize something, you have time for it. So I don't have time means it's just a lack of [00:32:00] priorities. Another one is just, it's too expensive.

Life coaching is an investment, but consider the cost of remaining stuck. Continuing to spend your precious time and energy on pass that don't fulfill you. What is the value of life aligned with your purpose? What opportunities might open up when you're operating from a place of clarity and intention?

If I asked you, would you pay someone $5,000 to change your life, I bet most people would say, heck yeah, I would. I would come up with that $5,000 in a minute to change my life. If you want help pointing you to your destination, then, 10 sessions with me is less than $5,000.

I charge [00:33:00] $200 a session for an hour. But I do have a package where you can. Get some cheaper sessions. I also have 30 minute sessions, which are less expensive. And also I want to do a group life coaching session in the future. I would need 10 people to sign up for that to make that valuable, and that would be much less expensive.

You would get an hour for $50. Versus an hour by yourself for $200. But I need about 10 people who wanna make that journey, who want to sign up for those sessions, on a fairly regular basis, like once a week for a couple months or more. So think about that and reach out to me if that's something you're interested in.

And then, another question people ask is, I'm not sure it [00:34:00] will work for me. This uncertainty is natural and that is why I offer a free 15 to 20 minute initial consultation so you can experience my coaching approach firsthand and determine if we're a good fit before making any commitment.

I also make that determination. As well, it isn't just about me asking you if you are ready for this. I get a gauge as well, if you're ready for this, because it doesn't do either one of us any good. If you try to start and you just quit because you weren't committed, you're gonna, you're gonna look at me as possibly, a bad life coach because you didn't succeed.

Or you'll look at yourself as a failure because you didn't follow through, and neither one of us wants either of those things. 

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Brandon Held: So as I wrap it up here today, I want to take a moment to reflect on the journey [00:35:00] we've taken together. We've explored 10 powerful questions that have the potential to transform your perspective.

Reconnect with your authentic purpose. What do you truly desire to achieve in your life? What would make you jump out of bed every morning with excitement? What is your big audacious dream that scares and excite you at the same time? And how will achieving this goal not only impact you, but also the people you love and care about now?

What new skills or knowledge do you need to get there to reach your goal? Now, what Daily habits will move you closer to your goal? What is your vision for life? Once you've achieved this goal, what is the best case scenario? If you've exceeded your expectations in this goal now, what is stopping you from signing up with life coaching lessons?

I've removed and eliminated all the excuses. I've given you all the [00:36:00] things, all the tools you need. To start moving in the right direction to navigate your path forward. And I encourage you to revisit them regularly, perhaps journaling your thoughts as they evolve over time. I wanna share a quick personal story.

Years ago I found myself across roads, and you guys know this, if you've listened to my podcast. Feeling successful by external measure, but somehow disconnected from a sense of meaning. Working with the coach helped me ask myself these same questions and discover my passion for helping others, finding clarity and purpose in their lives.

So that journey led me to where I am today doing work that energizes me and creates positive ripples in the lives of others. If you're called to explore these questions more deeply with professional guidance, I invite you to visit Brandon hell.com [00:37:00] and sign up for my consultation, or just jump right in for the coaching sessions and if you're really ready to dive deep by buy the packages, if you know you're committed and you know you want to do it.

Buy the packages. Life coaching isn't just a one or two session answer. It is a continual journey together. You and I it's if you were going to see a therapist for a problem you're having, you're not gonna go talk to that therapist one time and boom, everything's better. Life is crazy and unpredictable and challenging and filled with possibilities, but with clarity of purpose and the right support, you can navigate it with intention and create a life that truly reflects who you are and what matters most to you.

[00:38:00] So again, I thank you for listening to my podcast. And until next time, I just wanna say stay mindful, live purposefully, and embrace the beautiful craziness of your life. Please take a moment to subscribe to my podcast wherever you listen or go to brandon held.com and thanks for listening.

I'll talk to you next time.