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Brandon Held - Life is Crazy
I Host 2 Podcasts. Life Is Crazy and The Buckeye Battle Cry Show. The Life Is Crazy podcast is designed to help with suicide prevention. That is the #1 goal! This is also a Podcast of perseverance, self-help, self-Improvement, becoming a better person, making it through struggles and not only surviving, but thriving! In this Podcast the first 25 episodes detail my life's downs and ups. A story that shows you can overcome poverty, abusive environments, drug and alcoholic environments, difficult bosses, being laid-off from work, losing your family, and being on the brink of suicide. Listen and find a place to share life stories and experiences. Allow everyone to learn from each other to reinforce our place in this world. To grow and be better people and help build a better more understanding society.
The early podcast episodes are a story of the journey of my life. The start from poor, drug and alcohol stricken life, to choices that lead to success. Discusses my own suicide ideations and attempt that I struggled with for most of my life. Being raised by essentially only my mother with good intentions, but didn't know how to teach me to be a man. About learning life's lessons and how to become a man on this journey and sharing those lessons and experiences with others whom hopefully can benefit from my successes and failures.
Hosting guests who have overcome suicide attempts/suicide ideations/trauma/hardships/difficult situations to fight through it, rise up, and live their best life. Real life stories to help others that are going through difficult times or stuck without a path forward, understand and learn there is a path forward.
The Buckeye Battle Cry Show is a weekly show about the greatest sport in the world, college football, and specializing in discussing the greatest team in the world, THE Ohio State Buckeyes,
Want to be a guest on Brandon Held - Life is Crazy? Send Brandon Held a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/brandonheld
Brandon Held - Life is Crazy
Episode 68: Escaping Wall Street's Golden Handcuffs with Aaron Scott
Aaron Scott shares his journey from Wall Street trader to authentic living, exploring how societal expectations and the pursuit of money can disconnect us from our true selves. His powerful story illustrates how walking away from external success markers led to greater fulfillment and self-discovery.
• Money alone cannot provide happiness - true fulfillment comes from living authentically
• Carrying resentment toward others only burdens ourselves, not those who hurt us
• Professional identity should be just one aspect of who we are, not our entire self-definition
• Working excessive hours to provide for family often sacrifices the presence children truly need
• Following genuine passion naturally leads to success rather than pursuing money directly
• The most powerful gift we can give our children is showing them how to live truthfully
• Introspection and questioning societal expectations reveals our authentic selves
• Finding balance between financial stability and personal fulfillment is essential
Go to https://www.theaaronscott.com/ for more information about his podcast and book.
Subscribe to Brandon Held's podcast at brandonheld.com for just $10 a month to support his mission of helping trauma survivors and those struggling through difficult times.
Developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, we develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.
Their supplements have been developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, they develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.
https://www.getmnly.com/
Welcome. Welcome back to Brandon Held. Life is Crazy and today I have a special guest with me. His name is Aaron Scott. I'm excited to talk to Aaron because he has some pretty unique ideas. He used to live and breathe and die in the life of Wall Street and he walked away from that. And now he claims that you possess the divine ability to reshape your reality. But this power has been buried beneath generations of falsehoods and mental chains, and we're going to get to that today and we will talk to him about that. How are you doing today, Aaron?
Speaker 1:I'm doing great, brendan, excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely happy to have you here. Let's just give everyone a thousand foot overview, very brief summary, of who you are and what you're about.
Speaker 1:Sure Wow, so that might take the full time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard to do it quickly, but just the highlights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, look, I am somebody who you know certainly kind of coming across the podcast.
Speaker 1:You know someone who's you know who's looking to kind of shed a new light, give them perspective on on life in general, kind of through the mirror of my own experiences in my own life, right.
Speaker 1:So you know, to your intro, I, you know I worked on Wall Street for close to two decades.
Speaker 1:It's kind of, you know, it's obviously not, you know, as glamorous as many might think and you know kind of like it kind of in doing so, I entered the field or the industry, if you will, knowing that I had to kind of suppress kind of like half of myself, or even, you know, maybe even a larger portion of myself, to quote unquote, excel to, um, you know kind of like fulfill the identity or the image or the role that, um, you know I guess society kind of glamorizes, right, and you know I look at, um, kind of my experience and I think everybody should look at their own life experience as sort of a mirror and you know kind of into who they truly are and you know, kind of, through my experiences and through the grind and through the kind of, you know, pain or trauma that I experienced, I've been able to, you know, kind of have a deeper understanding of who I am as a person.
Speaker 1:You know within myself how my relationships were impacted or are impacted and even just kind of like how I view, you know, the general structure of our kind of reality, of our, of our lives, and you know I'm I'm looking to again share that experience, share that perspective and hopefully give other people the ability to self empower and, you know, kind of take back the reins, if you will.
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, so I will. I'll give you a picture of what let's just say myself, I don't know if I would call me like the average person's point of view or how you, but someone who's not on the inside of wall street at all, but from the outside looking in what that looks like to me. To me it looks like people that are under a lot of stress and pressure daily but also have pretty high egos and then would consider the rewards of a successful day on Wall Street very invigorating and exciting and, conversely, a bad day, very miserable. I don't know how accurate that is, but what do you say to that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, look, I think it's germane to the specific role that you're playing or the position that you have. But that was certainly kind of my experience, for sure, in my capacity as a trader and a portfolio manager, and I think that when I kind of talk about these issues or give my perspective, I think that it's important to understand that we kind of all, regardless of our field, our industry, we assume in many ways kind of inherited roles or inherited ideology or beliefs about ourselves that aren't necessarily, you know, even accurate. I think that people who you know kind of like the general population in many ways, who kind of like coast and accept and aren't looking deeper or don't even have kind of a you know kind of a dark night of the soul experience, I think that are just going to inherently be limited to awareness and to kind of the pressures and the things that impact them. And, and you know, wall Street for me, you know I was kind of again I talked about kind of having to push, push apart myself aside I was kind of, you know, from jump I just I didn't. I didn't agree with the the end justifies the means kind of mentality. I didn't agree with the you know kind of always focusing on on money and kind of this like myopic. I look at it kind of like as a shallow husk of a person, right, because at the end of the day, when you're in a position on Wall Street or you're working in, you know, whatever field you are.
Speaker 1:When you're a doctor, when you're working construction, when you're you know, when you're a teacher, right, like, you put on this role, you assume this role and you play that part and for some people they can do it, right, it's easier. It's easier for some than others. But you know, if you have a kind of an experience where you're forced to kind of reckon with that, that schism that you or that that role creates, um, you gain deeper insight. It's just, it's just kind of like logical, it's kind of, you know, easy to understand. Um and again, my experience I think um brought forth a lot of this uh, new perspective.
Speaker 1:But I don't think that it's. I don't think it's, it's just unique to me. I think that everybody think that it's. I don't think it's, it's just unique to me. I think that everybody you know, coder or or would experience it, just depending on who they are as a person and what kind of feel that they go into. And I'll just say one more thing I think that I think that people don't necessarily realize how kind of plugged in they are and how kind of like, um, disconnected they are from really looking at themselves on a personal level, on an individual level.
Speaker 1:And I think you know, brandon I don't know necessarily your situation specifically, but I'm sure that if you've had you know kind of acute experiences or you know dramatic events, those events that have really pushed you or propelled you to look deeper, right, to kind of say wait a second, you know I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. Um, I've got this. You know, quote unquote perfect life. And everybody from the outside looking in sees that things are greater. Maybe they didn't, but but but it was through that kind of, you know, rupture or through that kind of break that allowed you, or you know that allows other people to kind of like transcend to the next level, at least with the relationship that you have with yourself, right, or other people have with themselves. And then that was definitely my experience as well. So yeah.
Speaker 2:So just I'll tell you right away, brother. I've had a life full of traumatic experiences. That's why I have this podcast. That's why Life is Crazy is the title. My life has been up and down consistently until recent years, and I even attempted suicide at one point in my life at what I considered the lowest point of my life and you definitely gain a much more keen sense of self-aware.
Speaker 2:I've always felt like I've had a sense of self-awareness. Maybe there's little holes or little things I'm missing about myself, and with each difficult and traumatic experience you learn a little bit more about yourself and of course, it changes you and shapes you. That's why I'm here. I'm at the point today where I want to help people who are going through these things and I want to help them get to the other side and live a better life, not wait until they're almost 50 to get to their best life, which is what it took for me. So I understand what you're saying and hopefully we can help people with that here today. Life is crazy. I like to go through the life story of everyone. It can be as brief or detailed as you would like it to be, but it shows everyone how you, aaron, got to where you are today. So let's just start with your childhood. What was your childhood like?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, my childhood, I guess, was not necessarily as linear as you know maybe I would have liked it to be. My parents were divorced. Uh, it was a. There was a kind of a messy breakup. Um, it really severed the relationship that I had with my father, just by virtue of kind of I think the way the court system works right, yeah, and eventually I, you know, I got to the point where I didn't see my father for like an 11 year stretch, I think, or maybe it was a 10 plus year stretch, and you know, there's a lot of kind of like pent up resentment and and and you know, kind of even like hatred I would say.
Speaker 1:And it took me a long time to kind of get over that and to kind of in many ways just kind of get over myself, right, and and understanding that you know things don't necessarily always work as planned and you know, when people, you know another kind of this is kind of a basic realization but when people kind of hold the resentment or the hatred towards somebody else, you know you're, you're kind of creating this like victimhood mentality, where it's the other person's problem, but but in truth you know it's you're, you're carrying that burden, you're creating that burden, right.
Speaker 1:So, even if it had a negative impact on you, you're carrying that burden. You're creating that burden right. So, even if it had a negative impact on you, if you feed that fuel, if you empower that emotion or that thinking, it's only impacting you. It's not impacting the person that hurt you, right, or the person that let you down, right. So you know, even at kind of a basic, cursory level, I think that's kind of like an important revelation. It brings you to a higher level of awareness, right. So and I wasn't able to get there until much later in life, but and how old were you?
Speaker 2:if you don't mind me cutting it, I got divorced when I was eight years old. And how old were you when you came to that realization?
Speaker 1:Ooh, I would say, maybe you know as recently as you know, like five years ago, something like that.
Speaker 2:I don't know, am I late Am?
Speaker 1:I late 30s.
Speaker 2:Okay, the reason that the reason that I want to interject here and bring that up is because I'm going through this exact situation with my 27 year old son. His mother and I got divorced while she was pregnant with him. I didn't even know she was pregnant with him until we did get divorced, so we had never been a family, and so he's always held that exact same feeling towards me that you were talking about, that you hold towards your father, and we are estranged right now because I know there's nothing I can do for him. Right, I was the best dad I could be in the circumstances and situation I was given, but he's playing that victimhood role and so we just don't talk right now. So I would love, magically, somehow for him to hear your perspective and point of view on this so he could see he's the problem, I'm not the problem. So, anyway, I just wanted to interject that. There you can go ahead.
Speaker 1:Are you kind of like reaching out? Are you trying to connect? Is the mother an impediment to that, or what's kind of like your situation?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the mother poisoned him growing up. Ever since he could walk and talk, she was telling him I didn't love him, I abandoned him, I left him. And of course none of that was true. I left her, I didn't love her, I left her. And so that toxic poison has always been in there. And we lived states apart. She was in the Air Force and she lived in Ohio and I was in the Army and I lived in Arizona and I tried to be the best that I could be to him over the phone, because that's all I could do, and then during summers I would bring him here for the whole summer to Arizona, and it just wasn't enough. He always felt like I wasn't there for him and I just don't know what else I could have done. His mother begged me when he was a baby newborn, I'm talking days old begged me to not be a part of his life, to abandon him, and I refused to do that and I've told him that and I still get no grace for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I think this, I mean this is kind of like the inherent problem. This is definitely something that I experienced as well. You know my mother, who, I think you know honestly, was trying to do what was best for me at the time, right, I really think that she had the best intentions in mind. I don't know what your situation with your ex is. It doesn't sound like it was exactly like that. But you know, what I will say to you is that you know, I think that obviously he needs to kind of gain greater perspective.
Speaker 1:But I think that you know, kind of looking at it from from my perspective, anything that you can do to kind of like reconnect right and kind of like give him, help him get that perspective Right, because at the end of the day, um, he needs to kind of accept the situation situation for what it is. It's already happened, right, like he needs to. He needs to understand that his emotional baggage whether you're to blame or not, right, it's only holding him down, it's only holding him back. So, yeah, you know it, but it's a tough situation. I mean these aren't like kind of like light, light switch, flicker or flick situations, right, it's like they're complicated, but it starts with accepting your reality. It starts with, you know, not letting yourself be dragged down by it. And I will tell you this if he can get to that point, it'll only improve him. Whether it improves your relationship with him is a different discussion. But you know, for for his own sake, you know he needs to get, he needs to kind of hear that right? I think that that's important.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, he needs someone with the same perspective you have, because you literally went through exactly what he's going through right now, which is the point of this show right To reach people who have already been through it. They've gone through it and they can assist people going through it right now. I tried for years and years and years I've tried for the longest time to get him to understand that whatever that poison is in his brain, that's not me, that's not who I am. I've always loved him. I've always tried to be there for him in whatever capacity he would let me. He blocked me off a lot as a child. I would try to call him and ask him to call me more, because I couldn't reach him. I just didn't get to have as close of a connection with him because he was cutting me out and obviously he was under his mom's control, so she probably had a part of that and I spent years trying to fix that. Mend that, if you will.
Speaker 2:And the last time I saw him which was in 2023, we were together for five days. It was a good time. There was a lot of love, nothing negative or bad happened and then two months later, he just cut me off and stopped talking to me, and I don't know where it came from, I don't know why. And then, two years later, he sent me this awful text out of nowhere, calling me a worthless, scum piece of shit, telling me he can't wait till I die so he can dance on my grave. And I've never done anything to the kid, literally never done anything to him except love him, show him love and try to support him. So yeah, that's when I decided until he can get over whatever he's going through, I'm just not gonna talk to him. Yeah, we're estranged right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also, you know you talked about, kind of like, the poison that she gave to him. Well, you know, what he doesn't realize is that that poison is now him. I mean, he's taking that on, right. So you know, he needs to kind of like see, he needs to see the, the tree through the forest and kind of understand that. You know that's not him either. It. He doesn't need to be the governor of his actions, right, he has the power to whether he wants to see it that way or not. Right, he's empowering this negative, this negative force in his brain. So it's tough, but it's tough. I get it, I totally get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah and we can move on.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to, it's just when you were talking about it.
Speaker 2:It was like oh my God, it's like listening to my own son talk to me. But in the future, hopefully, if he figures it out. So yeah, you can keep going through your life story, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, so sorry about that. So, yeah, and look, I, you know, I kind of I was kind of raised with this and I think a lot of people are with like this idea that you know, and I think a lot of people are with like this idea that you know, to be successful in life or to have a full life or a fulfilled life, you have to make a lot of money, right, like everything. I mean just everything in the media, socially, whatever, everything's glamorized, where you know money is what buys you happiness, you know material goods, all this stuff, and it's all BS. I mean it's like it's like the biggest kind of like scam out there. It's the biggest scam going. And obviously people need money to survive, right, but what happens is and this is not, this is a very complicated discussion but we have a society that has structured their consciousness, if you will, around you know making money and again, it's not, it's not just about kind of, you know, accumulating goods for, for pleasure, it's, it's, in many cases, survival, right, you have kind of like a system in place that doesn't. You know people think, oh, you know, if you work hard you'll make. It's not, it's just not true, right, it's. It's. It's a lot of luck involved, right.
Speaker 1:So anyway, I grew up kind of under that um, under that understanding or under that idea, and I kind of had to balance that because I knew I knew individually I wasn't, I just really didn't value um, money, material goods, the way that everybody else did. But I kind of went through the motions and I pushed myself and I forced myself to make those my kind of primary concern, make those things my primary concern and make that my kind of ideology. And it worked for a long time. It worked for about you know, 30 years right, which shows you the power in many ways of kind of like ideology and societal conditioning and things of that nature. And I was able to kind of fool myself. But I kind of reached a breaking point and you know it wasn't even just kind of with my, with my profession, it was with just kind of my, my general mentality and even kind of my. You know I'm going through a divorce right now. Even even my marriage right In many ways was kind of like constructed through you know this, you know who this individual, who this individual is and how I thought she looked with me and how I thought we would be together and kind of like tackling the world and these kinds of like ambitious kind of ideas.
Speaker 1:It's all kind of BS, right. If you don't have a real connection with somebody, it's going to fade, right. And yes, obviously I, obviously I loved my ex and you know it wasn't completely superficial. But what you get to a point where again these, this like pseudo reality that you create for yourself, this image that you that you create, that you think is going to sustain you, that you think is going to sustain you, that you think is going to nourish you, just doesn't it eventually you can't. You can only trick yourself for so long and hopefully, you know you're able to reach that realization as young an age as possible, because it will create a more fulfilling life for you. It will allow you to and not to get too kind of like spiritual or metaphysical, but it would allow you to live in truth, and truth you know in your own truth and what you really value and who you really are and what your ambition you know really represents, right. So you know my and and.
Speaker 1:So this wasn't just about. You know I had a. You know my, my trauma wasn't just about getting a bad job experience. It wasn't that shallow. Obviously, my, my relationships over the course of my life have suffered. They've taken the backseat to my job forever. My marriage suffered. You know I've got kids, that you know. My relationship with my children while being married suffered, and it really kind of.
Speaker 1:I had a kind of an acute moment where I kind of had to like take a step back and say to myself, look, you can keep going through the motions and doing what you've been doing for three decades or whatever it was. You know two decades. Or you can kind of like walk into the void and kind of see what's on the other side of that and most people don't do that. And kind of see what's on the other side of that, and most people don't do that. Most people don't don't have that experience where they even are pushed to look deeper and to see what's available on the other side, if you will, right? So it wasn't until I kind of said you know, like like F, this I don't care, right, I want to. I want to give myself a chance. I want to give myself a chance to be who I really am.
Speaker 1:And it sounds kind of crazy, but people don't give themselves a chance because they are so kind of like again myopically focused on going to school and being a marketable kind of product to the economy and finding ways to be, to sell yourself and to generate money. I mean, this is really the prevailing mentality, right? And it it it impacts all of us, whether we realize it or not, and it and it bleeds into so many parts of our lives and just kind of really bleeds into our human, our consciousness and how we interact with the world around us. You know we're all a lot of people are always, you know, just thinking about money, thinking about you know how I get by, or how I make more money or how I like. It creates a kind of like zombie, like experience.
Speaker 1:And for me, I refused to live my life that way and I said, you know, whatever the consequences are, I'm willing to take those consequences over living this pseudo, like this fake identity and going through life and you know, doing things in many ways, like to fulfill my ego or for other people. And you know, very quickly this is kind of long winded, but very quickly what I'll say is that you know the common misnomer about you know that people spit out there, or the common idea that you know you have to work hard to provide for your family, for your children, so that they can have a better, better life, is really a misunderstood idea. And when I let me kind of contextualize that when you're living a kind of fragmented life, when you are putting a false identity or false ambition above who you are yourself, what you're showing your children is that it's a fragmented life that's valuable. It's productivity over presence with them that's most important. You know, showing up for an hour and a half at the end of a day, you know if you can get that and that being the bond of your relationship with your children, this is not. This is not. This is what you're passing down, right? So you think that you're giving them what they want because you've got this job and you're working hard, and you're giving them what they want because you've got this job and you're working hard and you're giving them. You're you're able to buy them things and and and give them these experiences. But in truth, you're, you're showing them down. You know you're, you're kind of you're kind of like passing on, like as, like a family heirloom.
Speaker 1:In many ways, this, this flawed way of living your life and, in my view, the best way, and this was a big part of kind of like my decision on on getting divorced. In my opinion, the best way that you can lead your child, the best example that you can give to your child, is to live from a place of truth and to show them that you're not afraid of being yourself, you're not afraid of sacrificing, you know, some amount of money to care for them and to show them you know you're who you truly are, and this goes with your. You know personal relationships as well. You know to to be with somebody who I don't care if they're, you know, 60 years old and wrinkled, or you know 25, to be with somebody who nourishes you, someone who you love truly, someone who you know brings you to newer heights, that allows you to realize you know your higher self. These are the relationships that you should be involved with.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't be involved with things that you know you're trying to angle out and strategize for material gain or to gain a contract or to you know this is not the, this is not the role that you want to be showing your children. So, anyway, you know these my experiences and kind of like my perspective, really, you know, although they can kind of like be identified in a few kind of acute examples really and this is kind of a big part of my message really transcend so many different planes that you can't even immediately perceive of right and they're. They're just kind of happening and they're shaping your consciousness yourself, your sense of self, the way you look at the world around you. So yeah, that that's. I hope that gave you enough kind of meat on my background and my experience.
Speaker 2:Well, there's so much there to unpack and go through. I could go so many different, so much I can't even remember all the thoughts I was having in my head while I was listening to you. But let me just start off with. A lot of people identify who they are as a person by their job title and career, and I think that's a gigantic mistake that people make in this world. That should just be a part of who you are. I couldn't imagine being, hey, my name is Brandon Held, I'm a doctor, right, and then that being what I say about me. Not enough, that's just, should just be a piece of who you are. And so I do think that's a huge mistake that people make Number two. Balance is the key here, right. People make Number two. Balance is the key here, right, it turns out this is a dangerous thing to say if you just take it in just the words and not understand the full context.
Speaker 2:But money does buy you happiness. It does, but it doesn't do it alone. You need to have all the other things, right. You need to have the family, you need to have the hobbies you enjoy, you need all that stuff. But hey, by the way, if you have money. Now you can go on vacations, you can do things that other people, without money, can't do, and that does bring happiness, let's be honest. You pay your bills without worrying and suffering or anything like that.
Speaker 2:And then one of the other things I wanted to say was in your world you saw people just driven by that love for money. You know that. You were on Wall Street. There's no other, really better example than those kind of people being driven for money.
Speaker 2:I come from the opposite. I come from a family and friends and a lifestyle of laziness. People who are very much there for their family and kids in person and emotionally right, but they don't provide. They're not good providers, and that also causes a problem. So the balance is very important. And then let's get into relationships. So I've been divorced three times. I'm on my fourth marriage. Every time I was in my marriages previously or I had girlfriends in between or whatever. I'm a pretty deep emotional person, so I always thought I had deep emotional connections, but the truth is I didn't. They were more surface than even I realized until I got to this marriage with my fourth wife and we met online and we exclusively had to interact than any other relationship I'd ever been in, because that's all we could do. That's all the things that were going through my mind from everything you were saying there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that I think that you know, with respect to money, I think that I think that it does require context and kind of the way that I was looking at it was most people or not? Maybe, maybe not, maybe not most people, but a lot of people. When they're just focused on money, they're missing the point. And to your point.
Speaker 1:It's all about balance and it's about being able to make room for what's important. And yes, being in destitute certainly limits your capacity for happiness, but people need to understand that money alone will not provide happiness. Correct, you know destitute alone will not provide. You know, having strong relationships alone will not provide happiness. It's about finding that balance and it's about it's about and this is a big, this is a big thing that I believe it's about, you know, showing up in the economy, um, showing up professionally, through what drives you, what sincerely drives you, if you are, you know, if you're a guy who is passionate about I don't know- let's say a drummer.
Speaker 1:Oh, let's say a drummer, Sure Well passion is about being a drummer, and and and has, like you know, and is and is motivated by that and is putting effort into that, into that passion, and is developing that. You know that, in my belief, right, that is what you should be focusing on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because if you are true to yourself and if you follow your innate passion, you will be successful. Because you are aligning yourself and again, we can take this into a metaphysical conversation, but it's really more practical than anything. But you know, you're aligning yourself with. You know, like, in many ways, like you're harnessing, like the power of the universe, right, you're harnessing. Like truth, you're you're not operating from like, again, using external guideposts. This is like an inverted way of living your life. When you operate from truth, when you operate from real ambition and real meaning, you're going to be successful. That's why you talk to entrepreneurs, you talk to successful business people. You know they're doing what drives them. The money will come.
Speaker 1:And everyone always says it and say like, oh, what's this guy talking about? That's the secret sauce. It's not to put money at the forefront, it's to put what you do at the forefront and then to allow that, that the fruits of that labor to produce. And that's the big. In my opinion, that's the biggest life hack and that's the big, in my opinion. That's the biggest life hack. And that's why when I say you know, kind of out of context, money doesn't buy you happiness. It's about doing what you love first and then reaping the rewards of that.
Speaker 2:Both statements are true. Right, money doesn't buy you happiness. When you talk about if that's all you go after, you're not going to be happy. And money buys you, money can buy you happiness. That's only true if you have all the other things in life that you're happy with. Right, you can't just have all the money in the world and have no relationships and feel all alone and like you're giving your life to this pursuit of money. So that doesn't buy happiness either. So what point in? So tell us where you hit the wall in your two decades at Wall Street and realize I needed to make a change. Like where were you at when that happened?
Speaker 1:You know, I kind of I think that I broke a couple of times in this kind of again this externalized performative identity, right, like I really did, and it was hard for me again to kind of like live this lie, I call it. And I kind of had my first, I think, kind of like piercing the veil moments in college, to be honest with you, where, um, again, I was like super driven. I was. You know you name it. I was like, uh, you know, I was phi beta kappa. I graduated, like you know, with like a 3.94 gpa. I didn't miss a class.
Speaker 1:I was always kind of like very driven and, um, you know, kind of like some some kind of like personal stuff happened to me and I was kind of like, well, you know how like I'm not satisfied or this, or like this, this drive and these kind of like my success in school, for example, wasn't, you know, wasn't, satiating me. It was kind of like leaving me kind of wanting and I kind of like brush it aside then. And then I think, I think that it was always kind of like always lingering in the back, lingering in the back of my mind or living in the lingering in the back of my kind of consciousness or what have you. And it wasn't really until, I would say, a couple of years ago, where I kind of had like a breakthrough moment Again with, with, with my job, with my relationships, where I kind of said, okay, you know, this is like my second signal, you know, it's it's time to you know it's it's time to you know, kind of step up.
Speaker 1:What's, what's, what's the saying? You know, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, kind of a kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:So what was going on, though that made? Was it your personal life falling apart Like what was happening? That made you actually hit that realization right there.
Speaker 1:You know, I I started a hedge fund, right, and I just everything was about not just even like performance, but it was about like raising money, right, and every like I just I couldn't be fake. You know, like I had to, like I had to forge relationships with people, like with the idea that I was going to get them to invest in my fund, right, and like I had to like perform, and it just wasn't for me and I had to fight that years, right, and I just hated it. It like it, like it just made me sick. Like the idea of like a sales job to me is like the most grotesque existence, where you're, you know, maybe, unless you're like really passionate about what you're doing, but when you're doing things again as a means to an end and you're using people as a means to an end, like to me, that was just very difficult and it made it made my job, and maybe I'm just weak for feeling that, but it made my job very hard because I don't look at people as objects.
Speaker 1:No I look at people as yeah.
Speaker 2:I completely agree with you. Not everyone's built for it. I had sales jobs when I was younger. I did business to business sales and it does make you feel a little scummy if you're not built for it. So I totally understand what you're saying and what you were going through.
Speaker 1:So yeah, thank you for that, and that was kind of a big part of it. And there were there were kind of a number, a number of other undercurrents that just they just compound, right, like where you're, where you bring on a guy and like his strategy doesn't work out, or you bring on an investor and like something doesn't work out, or like and then whatever you, whatever good that you do, is offset, or like your current investor wants you to rechange it, and it was just kind of like, kind of like and it was I was sacrificing, you know, my relationship with my kids. I mean, like when I for for like for like a year and a half, I just literally like wasn't there for them, I couldn't be, and it was acceptable to my wife and it was just kind of again part of this way of life and I just I refused to to, to live my life that way. And one of the things that I'm dealing with now, um, is still this kind of like dual life, where my wife, right, is still looking to be a part of that kind of like ecosystem. That meant that that mentality and I just refuse to right.
Speaker 1:So, brandon, as you know, inherent to that, I've got two kids right, so you have one parent who wants to suck right. So, brandon, as you know, inherent to that, I've got two kids right, so you have one parent who wants to suck you back into a life that you don't want to be in, and it kind of makes it tricky, it makes it very complicated, and that's something that I'm really kind of navigating now, where I'm trying to kind of stay true to myself but also trying to balance what my wife, who has certain, you know, requirements or has certain like lifestyle expectations for my kids want, and I am just, you know, I'm kind of like totally against like 75% of that. You know she loves my kids, she wants what's best for them, but but deep down inside I don't believe she knows what's best for them.
Speaker 1:And that is so hard because you know your kids are like your heart and soul in many ways Right so so it makes it really complicated and really difficult. That's something that I'm kind of battling right now.
Speaker 2:So let me share my experience with you, just because it might help you, which is kind of ironic because I didn't bring you on a show to help you, but maybe I can. You helped me in a little way, talking about your experience with your dad and how you eventually got over it, which gives me hope. Maybe my son will do the same thing. My third divorce same situation. I made good money, I was in the corporate world, I was in aerospace, and my wife wanted to live a lifestyle in an area and things that I wasn't willing to do. I just wasn't willing to pay for it. I didn't want to be a part of that life, and I also was struggling to be true to myself but also make my family happy as well. And so then eventually she decided she didn't want to be a part of it anymore. She didn't want to be with me. So she left me and she divorced me and my kids were eight and six right, and this was devastating to me because I wanted to be there for them every day.
Speaker 2:I wanted to be a full-time dad in all the things, and so when I was going through this divorce, and so when I was going through this divorce, I got laid off. So now I'm losing my family, my kids. I lost my job. Now I have to sell the house that we lived in together, that my kids grew up in, to that point. And then, during the divorce, the judge makes me keep the $25,000 worth of credit card my wife had accumulated while I was working and providing for the family and she was being a stay at home wife, a stay at home mom. And then I was also ordered to pay spousal maintenance and child support. So I got divorced, lost everything I had. Now I was about $50,000 in debt. Lost everything I had.
Speaker 1:Now I was about $50,000 in debt.
Speaker 2:So I'm minus $50,000 whenever I do try to regain my life again. But I was already so emotionally and mentally devastated and when you throw the money on top of it, that's when I was ready to die. That's when I was ready to be like why am I here, I don't need to be here anymore. And that's when I attempted to commit suicide. And then I took a full bottle of Ambien and someone called an ambulance, saved my life and I ended up living and I was mad at first but then I decided you know what, if I'm going to live, then you know, fuck it, I'm going to live the best life I can live.
Speaker 2:And once I made that determination, I went back out, got myself out there, got a even better job than I had before right, got myself out of all that debt as quickly as possible, and now I'm living my best life. So I tell you all that because, whatever it is you're going through, whatever struggles you're dealing with, going through a divorce because I know it's horrible and it's miserable, especially when you have kids and you have someone that's. You know, I don't want to say put words in your mouth, but it sounds to me a little greedy on the other side. It can always be worse and no matter how bad you think it is, you can get through it and you'll be better for it.
Speaker 1:No, I appreciate that and, like, every little, every little bit of perspective helps. So, you know, I think that what's nice about about about kind of podcasts in general, is you're whether, whether you kind of recognize it or not, you know there's kind of a reciprocity there and everything that we talk about it's going to impact, you know, impact you and me. So you know, I do appreciate that and I think that you know it's it's going to. You know, things will kind of reveal themselves and I'm kind of again with my kind of new perspective where I'm not always trying to control everything and where I'm not, like, driven by my, my kind of like ego.
Speaker 1:And you know, I kind of kind of like I'm able to in many ways it's not easy every day, right, but I'm able to in many ways, kind of like take a step back and kind of like kick my legs up and like see what will happen and be and accept what will happen, right, because, to your point, could always be worse. You know my problems. You know, look like a, look like a drop in a puddle to some other people, right, but but I can and this is kind of like the big illusion, right, everybody's problems are, or you know what you think is so bad in your life people would wish for yeah and it's all relative.
Speaker 2:But sometimes, because of that relativity, we need perspective exactly as much as my life sucked and I wanted to kill myself. I have family members who are alcoholics and drug addicts, like their whole life has been trying to survive, even just live. My brother has died three times, like medically died three times and then brought back to life and that wasn't because he was committing suicide, it's because of drug addiction. But it's all relative. That did. I have that in my life and it still didn't take away the sting of what I felt I was going through. So sometimes it's hard to see that perspective.
Speaker 1:For sure, for sure.
Speaker 2:All right, you are now the co-founder and CEO of an alternative therapeutics company with a focus on breakthrough treatments of unmet needs and a variety of pain management profiles. Why don't you take a little time and tell us about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, I started a company in 2021 that I had to kind of put aside, with a couple of scientists, if you will, that have been working on real breakthrough medications and therapeutics in the cannabinoid space, which are like the molecules behind, you know, like the molecular profiles, if you will, behind cannabis, not like medical marijuana, not, you know, going to a dispensary but you know real, real medicines. Well, you know, my partner created the first FDA approved um medication uh, using cannabinoids is called up a dialects. It was like it increased the efficacy of the current treatment for um for children that have seizures uh, from like 15% to 40 plus percent, from like 15% to 40 plus percent. And you know, a lot of his skill is in is in formulations and in the ability to kind of maximize the efficacy of these molecules. And we are working on a lot of pain management products, from ointments and oils and kind of like upping the game.
Speaker 1:Because what you find is that you know, and this, this is, uh, this was obviously a problem with respect to, like, op, opioids and things like that, or even with the existing kind of products on the market and even with a lot of these products that claim to have a lot of these um components and these ingredients that that you know we're creating um or that we're putting into these formulations.
Speaker 1:They're kind of like not meeting, they're not kind of there, they're just not. They don't have the efficacy, they're not doing their job and it's and people you know who have severe arthritis or who have severe muscle pain and are looking or even going through rehabilitation post-surgery, they don't have. They don't have the products available to them that are a all natural, that really work and that can provide real relief. So this is kind of a big part of um, this effort, and it's something that I believe in and it's something that I'm passionate about. And again, uh, as we talked to earlier, it's about finding, you know, something you're passionate about and then kind of diving into it, right. So that's we're going into, kind of we're going to look into cosmetics as well, because there's a lot of unmet needs there and a lot of these products out there are just kind of like BS. They're not really doing what they're supposed to be doing. So so that's, that's a quick, short and skinny on that.
Speaker 2:No, that's great, All right. If people wanted to get reach you and get help for stuff like that, how would they reach you?
Speaker 1:I would say you know right now, so we, we kind of formally reconnected, so we, yeah, so I, this started in 2021. I, I, I side-tabled it. We reconnected about three months ago or so. So I would, I would say, um, let's hold off on connecting until we're fully up and running. We, we have the formulations done, we're working on, we're working on branding right now, so I'm not quite there, but, um, we can be in touch and I'll, and I'll give you some, give you some links to post on on this interview.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah, make sure you do that so I can put them in the bottom of this episode. Yeah, no problem, all right. So, as we wind down here and this has been a great conversation and love and hearing the things that you've dealt with and gone through in life and it's I believe it will help other people who have those same focuses that are maybe questioning who they are and what they're about right now. So thank you for that. As we wind down, what's your biggest final thought you want to leave with people?
Speaker 1:Yeah, my biggest final thought is that you know, before you kind of jump into something, whether it's a relationship or a job, or you know what you think is the way to do it. You know, based on whatever data set you're using right, whether it's what everyone around you is doing, what is socially acceptable, what your parents think is important, you know what or just habitually, what you've been doing your whole life. You know, give yourself enough I say respect to question to gain more curiosity, to look deeper, not just about you, know the world around you, but about yourself, and I think that it's such an important practice to introspect and look for you know who you are, truthfully, deep down at your core, and I think that you know as I'm trying to do, I'm trying to empower people, I'm trying to get people to recognize their kind of hidden potential. I think that that exercise is so, so important and will be, will be so beneficial to anybody and everybody, no matter the background, no matter the financial situation, no matter the trials and tribulations.
Speaker 2:All right, that's yeah, that's great advice. I appreciate that, aaron. So, aaron Scott, I want to thank you for joining me today and telling everyone your story and what you're doing to give back to the world, because that is essentially what you're doing is giving back. You got a little lost. You found your way a little better, so you're trying to do the same for other people and I respect and appreciate that.
Speaker 2:So, thank you, and for me, as always, go to my website, brandonheldcom, and at the top of the page is subscribe to the podcast. Just click on that subscribe to the podcast. It's only 10 bucks a month and you're really supporting the show and trying to help me get out there and help people who are survivors of trauma or even just deep, dark times that they don't know how to get through, and they're struggling to get through. That's what we're trying to do here. So I would greatly appreciate that and, as always, I would like to thank you for giving me your time, which is your most valuable asset, and I appreciate you listening to the show and giving us your time. And this has been Brandon Held. Life is crazy and I'll talk to you next time.
