Season 2 Finale: Relive the Hidden Chapters That Will Inspire, Heal, and Encourage You

🎙️ Season 2 closes with a heartfelt look back at the stories that shaped Hidden Chapters. This finale brings together powerful moments from Seasons 1 and 2: highlight clips of guests, reflections, and stories that continue to resonate. 

🎙️ Highlights include: 

• Jay Smith Pinned but Not Out
  Season 1 Ep.6 
• Jillian Delgado The Summit of Strength
  Season 1 Ep. 3 
• José Raymundo From Immigrant to Sergeant Major
  Season 2 Ep.4 
• Jessica Wright Living through it, Leading from It
  Season 1 Ep. 7 
• Laura Lyn Donahue Who Do You Think You Are?
  Season 2 Ep.2 
• Christin James Raising Hope after Loss 
  Season 2 Ep.8
• Justin Mitchell The Power of Music and Mentorship
  Season 1 Ep.4
• Genevieve's  Why Sharing Your Story Matters  
  Season 2 Ep. 6
• Jennifer Blankenship When Trust is Broken
  Season 2 Ep. 5
• Meg McGlynn What She Didn't Expect
  Season 1 Ep.8
• Chris Kruger Walking Away from the Ledge
  Season 2 Ep.1
• Lindsay Swoboda Holding on and Letting Go
  Season 2 Ep.3
  
  ✨ Why listen? This episode is your opportunity to relive the stories that moved us, reflect on lessons learned, and gain inspiration from voices that have walked through courage, grief, resilience, and hope.
  
  

Transcript

Genevieve 0:39

Hi friends, it's Genevieve, and welcome to this special episode of Hidden Chapters. As we wrap up season two, I've been reflecting on what a year it's been. From an idea just two years ago to launch a podcast to officially starting in May with my first episode sharing my own hidden chapters with my mom. It's been a journey. In just eight months, we've shared 25 episodes, reaching listeners in over 26 countries and hundreds of cities across the U.S. with more than 1,700 downloads. I've had the opportunity to hear incredible stories of resilience, courage, and inspiration from my friends, new acquaintances, and some amazing guests along the way. This special episode is what I'm calling Best of Season 1 and 2 collection. Every guest is so special. But these clips are just highlighting a few moments and lessons that I wanted to bring back for us to reflect on. I hope that these stories inspire you again, or for the first time as a new listener. If you haven't already, I encourage you to re-listen to past episodes over the season break. You might find inspiration and insight that will carry you into the new 2026 year. As a quick note before we dive in, I just want to say thank you so much for being part of this community. This show has grown because of the real people who sit with these conversations each week. And I wanted to understand your world a little better. I created a short listener survey to learn who you are, what you care about, and which moments keep you coming back. Your feedback will help me shape season three with more curiosity and intention so it reflects the people listening, not just the content and downloads. And as a small thank you, there's a little gift giveaway from me at the end if you choose to enter. The link will be in the show notes, and I would be so grateful if you shared your thoughts. You can also head over to my Substack where we'll continue the conversation, share extra insights, resources, and ways to engage with the stories that you hear. Our first moment is from my conversation with former student Jay from season one, episode six. He shared how his divorce changed everything, yet he co-parents well. Wrestling became more than a sport, it became an outlet. And his advice that stuck with me always hunt the good stuff. Here's Jay. So what parts of yourself really through this process has surprised you? What are some of the things that you've learned and maybe things you had to unlearn in all of this?

Jay 3:33

Resiliency. Um I went through a class in the military. It was a master master resiliency trainer. I don't remember the guy's name, but when he came over, he said, always hunt the good stuff. No matter what happens, always hunt for the good stuff. And that stuck with me for a very long time. So in every situation that I go through, no matter what it is, I'm looking for the positive. I'm just looking for the positive. I'm like, okay, this happened. Cool. Okay, what good can this come out? Can what good can come out of this for me? And I was, and then that's how I've been living. And it was another thing. Um somebody, I I tend to act off now because of everything that's happened. I act off of logic instead of emotion. I try to take my emotions out of my decision making. Because a lot of the times when you make decisions off of emotion, it may not be what you need or may not be what you want. It's just a feeling.

Genevieve 4:50

Yeah.

Jay 4:51

You know, and then you bring logic into it, and then you're like, okay, I can do this. So I take my feeling out of it, and then I make a decision so that way it's sound, and then I can move forward.

Genevieve 5:04

And that's really good. I gotta commend you on that. That's a hard thing for me to do, especially, is to the hard things to find the good. Because sometimes, like you were saying, you can get resentful and bitterness can creep in and all of those things. And unfortunately, I hate to admit it, I've been there. And so bitterness has outweighed the good, and I'm trying to find ways to find the good and let go of the bitterness, let go of unforgiveness. And that's hard. This next clip is from Jillian, season one, episode three. She climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, but her story reminds us the greatest summits are the unseen moments of strength and growth after the claw. Here's my friend Jillian. Thinking about the mountain, climb the mountain, you proved to yourself you could do these things, and this was done eight years ago. What changed you since that experience? How have you been able to take that moment in your life and be able to apply it to things that you've done now over the years?

Jillian 6:11

That's a great question. Um, yeah, so this was done back in 2017. So I think I would say it like rewired my thinking. So, like eight years later, I still remember what it took to get up there. So it it kind of pushed me to like do things I didn't think I was gonna be able to do. Just I went back to school um in 2020. I got my MBA, taking a business class. And business is something I had never done before. But I'm like, one day maybe I'll need it and maybe I'll open up my own travel agency. So it stretched me to learn new skills because my passion is teaching. I am a teacher, but I don't know how long I was gonna be a teacher. Okay. So it just like stretched me and like forced me to do things um I didn't I didn't think I could in the past. So climbing this mountain, it just brings me back to a moment of like strength. Like, okay, if I climb Mountain Kliman Jaro, I can do these hard things. This is like no big deal. So it just like makes me revisit that moment when I need that like like moment to think about okay, why, why, well, why can't I do this if I climb Kingdom Jarvel? It just takes me back to that. And I know I can still like challenge myself and and do things I haven't done before because of climbing this mountain.

Genevieve 7:31

Yeah. Next guest is Jose, an army veteran and newly published author from season two, episode four. From El Salvador to Sergeant Major in the U.S. Army, he shared the hidden chapters behind his 30 years of service and the courage to tell his story in his new book, Brave New Horizons. Here's Jose. On that note of speaking, I loved that you mentioned, so someone who didn't start out speaking English, you said you mentioned you dreaming of becoming a motivational speaker to inspire those who doubted their own potential, and you wanted to make history as the first Salvadorian John Maxwell, certified speaker, coach, and mentor, which I I love John Maxwell too. So, what was it that sparked that passion for lifting others up? What inspired you to want to be the motivational speaker?

José 8:27

Wow, I never asked that question before.

Genevieve 8:29

Yeah.

José 8:30

Um, but I think it's because I I reflect myself in a lot of young people. Um, I came with nothing. And a lot of people actually give me a hand. Even though I was naive, I still learned the the environment, the United States culture, there's people actually saw potential in me. And those people actually do not have uh uh speaking skills, it just basically sit down in a conversation with me. But I I I want to reach the masses because I can make a difference in one person. But what about if I can make a difference in a hundred person or ten thousand person? And the reason why I say I want to do that because I get that a lot. Whenever I do speeches, which I did quite a few while I was in active duty and right after your retirement, there is always someone who approached me and said, Thank you for saying X, Y, and C because actually makes me feel good. And one of the stories that I can tell you that actually inspired even more to become a motivational speaker was I was invited to a GROTC dining in as a guest speaker. And as soon as I finished my speech, uh there were two kids from Venezuela who actually came, got the green cars, got the visas. And they told me, and I'm gonna forget this, and I'm sorry if I break my voice, but it just when I remember what they told me was, thank you for saying what you're saying. They told me in Spanish. Yeah now I believe that I can make a future in this country because you just say something that actually impact me, which is you don't know English. And I don't know English right now. I just can't hear my parents. I've been in this school six months and try my hard to learn it. But you just basically told me you can make it, and and I'm gonna promise you that I'm gonna be the best. Can't remember what he told me it was gonna be, but all those things actually make me feel like, okay, I have a mission. Yeah. So I can do this. You know, so that's why I wanted to become the motivational speaker. Because if I can transfer this message to writing, I can only imagine somebody listening to me. Because reading the book, you know, say, well, he probably used uh Google Translate to do the book. You know, but how about he listened to me? Not just that I can tell you that I can prove that I look where I came from, you know, look how far I come, but also you can hear me, you can talk to me, you can actually touch me.

Genevieve 11:05

Right.

José 11:06

Because I'm not a celebrity that actually came like Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, from Austria, came and become the biggest megastar that actually am is me. You can have somebody who actually can associate, you can simulate. And that's why I wanted to do those those type of of motivational speaking, to give hopes to the people that actually that nobody actually can tell her, yeah, you know what? You can make it too.

Genevieve 11:31

This moment is from Jessica, season one, episode seven. Losing her mother young shaped her into the empathetic leader that she is today. She shows us hidden chapters can be sources of strength. Here's my friend Jessica. I can understand that. Yeah. And so mentioning that you lost your mom at 11, almost 12, that was a lot where the self-sabotaging voices and inner doubt came through. So now in your personal life and in your business, how have those inner doubts and sabotaging voices shown up for you?

Jessica 12:10

Yeah. Um I think the my mom was probably just the best cheerleader that you could ever ask for.

Genevieve 12:22

Yeah.

Jessica 12:23

And so my voice is gonna get a little shaky here. Um, when she passed away, um, I had a really hard time learning how to do that for myself. And um as a 12-year-old who had been binge eating at this point for seven years and trying to harm themselves in other ways, um, I was also pretty socially awkward because, like I said before, like I was just very aware that bad things could happen. Um it just social experiences like uh school and you know getting involved in extracurriculars just didn't it didn't work for me. I I just I wasn't very good at connecting with people, and yet connection was what I wanted so much. Um and so I think that that self-sabotage or the sabotaging voices around my confidence and like no one wants to be around you, you're too weird, you're too fat, you're too, you know, just like all those things have really been going off in my head for decades. And I found success in high school as a musician, as a dancer, even though I was bigger, like I was still great at dancing because I could I could do it, I could figure out how to do it perfectly, I could nail everything, I could learn everything really well. So perfectionism is also another another thing for me. Like if I do it perfectly, then they won't make fun of me. You know, that was kind of how the sabotage showed up, that sabotage showed up for me. Um so yeah, it's definitely been an influence as I got an undergraduate degree in music education, decided I didn't want to teach, um, and kind of started to wind through adult life trying to find a way to be helpful and make money at the same time, um, and also find a partner and you know, all of these things. It's it's it's been challenging at times for sure. Yeah. And yet at the same time, I know that when people tell me that I'm such a warm person to be around and that I'm super empathetic and they can tell I'm listening, um, or that they feel seen and heard by me. I know it all stems back to that because that's that's what I wanted.

Genevieve 15:06

Here's Laura Lynn, season two, episode two. In her memoir, Who Do You Think You Are? She explores identity, growth, and evolving through life's seasons. It's a great reminder of the journey of self-discovery. Here's Laura Lynn.

Laura Lyn 15:25

Appreciated that a lot and wasn't expecting it, but it sparked a really, really healthy, good conversation for us.

Genevieve 15:33

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, and you always want those, those that you know know you best or or where it's coming from is out of love. They're not here to criticize, but hey, did you know this about yourself?

Laura Lyn 15:43

Absolutely. Yes.

Genevieve 15:45

It was, yeah. Well, that's really good that you mentioned uh about people pleasing, because that's was something I I had told you that line when I had read it in your book had really hit me as well, because I've lived through some of that. Yeah. When your identity is so wrapped up in making everyone else happy, doing the right thing, where do you even begin to figure out what you want?

Laura Lyn 16:06

Well, that's a lifelong process. Um and I I think I have always been trying to answer that question. How do I get out from under the pleasing? Because the pleasing is where I found um respect from other people, I found um affirmation from other people, and I was really associating those things with people pleasing. So if this, then this. So if I am pleasing to other people, then I will get this from them. I will get respect, I will get love, I will get some type of um affirmation that I wasn't really lacking in my life, but my DNA just gravitated toward people pleasing. And that was, you know, that quote worked for me. And so even now trying to come out from under it, I mean, of course, it's taken years of therapy and just some other realizations about myself to realize that it's not so important about to to be pleasing others. Finding myself and self-care, if you will, is the most important thing. Because if we if we aren't being our authentic selves, if we aren't being true to who we are, then we are we're really missing out on something pretty good. Um, you know, it we it gets pushed under the rug, it gets um suppressed, and it takes a lot of mental energy, a lot of work to walk into a situation and think, okay, so this is the person I have to be at this event or at this party or at this book club or whatever, you know, it is. I'm I'm changing based on my quote, audience. Um so coming out from under that, um, you know, I'm 56, so it's only really been recently that I'm exercising that muscle even more than I was. I mean, there's there's the recognition, right? So you've got to see it that it's happening, that you're doing it. Um, but then the coming out from under it, I don't know that you can get it completely out from under it, but you can begin to recognize when you're doing it.

Genevieve 18:28

This clip is from Christin, season two, episode eight. She shared the loss of her parents, estrangement from her brother, parenting challenges, and military life. Yet she carried so much love, calling her story Beauty from the Ashes. Here's my longtime friend, Kristen. Out of everything that you've walked through, what do you think has left maybe the biggest mark on who you are today with all that you've experienced?

Christin 18:58

Oh man. Um, I would say the first half part of my life, it was definitely losing my parents, but now it's being being a special needs parent. Um I work in education now, and I see how these kids that have these special needs, that have these needs, either educationally, developmentally, whatever it is, I can relate to them. And I feel like as someone who is in education, I can empathize. Those kids, though, those kids at my school are just very near and dear to my heart. And I always make sure that they know that they can always come into my library if they need a break or um if they need some some time away, that I'm a safe place for them to come to to kind of calm down. And the paras use my library a lot because of that.

Genevieve 20:01

Yeah.

Christin 20:02

So I think before having a special needs child, I did not really understand, like, well, you should be able to control your kid. Well, that just because your kid has da-da-da doesn't mean that they should act this way. And some of that is still, I think sometimes parents do use their kids having ADHD for them to be wild animals and just run amok and do whatever. But I it's definitely humbled me, especially when uh I remember one time, I don't remember where we were living, I think it was here. I went to Walmart and there was an autistic boy and his mom in the very back of the store, and he was having a meltdown, one of his meltdowns. And he was a big boy. He was he was bigger than his mom. He was probably 12, 13, but he was a big boy.

Genevieve 20:49

Yeah.

Christin 20:49

And she was just trying to comfort him. And I and she was crying, and people were like staring at her.

Genevieve 20:55

Yeah.

Christin 20:56

And it was just this whole thing. And I just stood there with her and I put my arm on her shoulder and I was like, I understand. Like, I understand. What can I do to help you? Can I go get your car and pull it around? Can I like what? And I prayed with her.

Genevieve 21:07

Yeah.

Christin 21:07

And that was the only comfort at that time that I could give her. But me, the old me, probably would have been one of the ones going, like, geez, like, what's his deal? And that's that's terrible to say and terrible to admit. Right. But I I probably would have just cut moved on. I probably, I probably wouldn't just move on and just ignored that it was happening. But being a special needs parent and knowing that when my daughter was in the throes of a meltdown in the middle of Hobby Lobby or Target or Walmart or wherever we were, I would have to pick her up off the ground like a sack of potatoes, abandon my cart, and get to the car. Right. It would have been so nice to have somebody stop and just say, Hey, you're doing a great job, or hey, how can I help you? Or can I pray with you or something? So it's really um opened my eyes and made my heart a little bit more tender, a lot more tender towards um kids and families who are dealing with things like that. I try to really advocate for kids with special needs to get the help that they need and to also the parents get the help that they need.

Genevieve 22:11

I'm grateful to have met and worked with Justin from season one, episode four. Growing up with very little, he found purpose through faith, writing music, and mentoring. It's a reminder that purpose grows from pain. Here's my friend Justin. How has that experience shaped the way you approach life today?

Justin 22:34

Yeah, it really, even though it sounds kind of disjointed, it's very connected. And I think that what at the end of the day, the path that I've been on is to try and help people. Even the social work part, it it was trying to help people. And then as a supervisor my entire career, I always kind of fell in love with coaching, mentoring, and teaching. And I think that having a Christian background and a care and a love for another person, particularly when they can't do anything for you, is really an important aspect of being a good human being, as I try to teach my children. And I think that over the years I've I've honed my ability to listen to people where they're at and meet them wherever they're at and try and make them just a little bit better. And I had a boss that always tried to make it a little bit better. And so I always was inspired by him, but also tried to take that. And um I've had different opportunities at Fort Bragg. Uh I had what I called the fast horse program because we we always have horses. Um but basically it was people that you could tell wanted to get promoted, get uh the triathlon bigger, stronger, faster. And so I would I would have conversations with them, and then we developed a curriculum on leadership, on uh speaking in public, on dress for success, on you know, just how to write your a good resume. And then I talked about everybody should have a a Barnabas, a Paul, and a Timothy. And if you know the story, it's easy to understand. But let me just share with you that that Barnabas was an old, seasoned Christian, and that people would come for advice and mentorship and coaching and things like that. And everybody should have somebody in their life that does that. No, that's hard, uh particularly if you don't know what your passion is. And then everybody should have a Paul, which is kind of a pier where you can come to, like you and I, when we work together, we could always talk and just kind of bounce things off each other and share. And that's always good to have that comfort thing, you know, where you can talk with somebody. And then having a Timothy, and most people don't understand that when you've been blessed, you need to bless others. And so having somebody that you can coach, mentor, and teach, just life skills, but those little things add up to make a big difference. And it's not the big things, it's the little things, and it's little things daily as you do your daily walk and as you interact with people and you can smile with them. And I never meant to be a stupid dad joke teller, and I never meant to be, you know, happy Tuesday, happy Wednesday guy that I became. But you know what, there's a lot of worse things to be known for. And so being known for being a positive mental attitude or being a positive influencer, just making somebody smile, I think really truly makes a difference in the in the pond that you're in, and those waves ripple on a pond like the pebble, and you've heard that kind of thing before. And um I think I also mentioned to you that I I love a thing that a lot of people hate, and that is no matter where you are, there you are. And a lot of people say, well, that's just stupid. But but here's the deeper meaning to that to me, and that is that you can't do anything about the past. There's a lot of things that I I did when I was in high school when my brother and I lived alone, and and um I probably wouldn't change them because it made me who I am, but it certainly wasn't good. So I can't do anything about that. And if I get too future-minded where I think about, okay, after this job I'm gonna do that, or after this amount of money, I need to make that amount of money. And and the more you think about the future, you're you're kind of wasting the opportunity of what's right in front of you. So living in the moment, living with the person that you're with, the relationship that you're with, the job that you're in. There's a book called The Next Thing or The Next Big Thing. The bottom line is thinking diligently and intentionally about what is the one thing I could do right now. The one thing. That's the name of the book. The one thing. What's the one thing I could do right now that would make the most difference in this relationship? What's the one thing I could do right now to make this job better, more effective, uh, or me better at it? Okay. Um, which to me is a lot about mind, body, spirit. I look at the triad of the human and I go, what are you doing to get bigger, stronger, faster when I mentor somebody? Mind, body, and spirit. So what are you reading? What are you studying? What are you trying to do for your mind? Are you eating well? Are you exercising? Are you staying in shape for your body? And spiritually, I'm not going to tell you what to believe, but whatever you should believe, believe it with your whole heart. And if your belief doesn't cause you emotion and your emotions go to your belief, then you're not connected in your spirit. And so what are you doing to get bigger, stronger, faster in mind, body, spirit? And you try to apply that to the moment. And those moments become your habit, what you do every single day. And then your your habit becomes your character, and your character becomes your legacy, right? And so if you think about in the future, what are they going to write on Justin Mitchell's headstone? It might be Happy Tuesday or something. You know, it might be a stupid dad joke. But I think that given the opportunity, positively influence people, coaching, mentoring, and teaching people and helping to make them just a little bit better wherever they are, because they're not you. They've not been on the same path that you are. They have different history. If you can make somebody a little bit better, I think that's a noble cause. And you do that in the moments. You do that a moment at a time, that then becomes a memory and a history. And so I think that no matter where you are, there you are. Be there, be all there, be a hundred percent, be all in. And if you're not all in, be a hundred percent out. And it's okay to say, okay, peace out and be okay with that and not worry about it, and not think about it, and not think of it as a failure, think of it as a lesson for the next big thing.

Genevieve 27:33

This clip is from my first live talk on the creator stage at the Military Influencer Conference in September of 2025. I share my own hidden chapter after military transition and how this very podcast came out of my grief, identity loss, and the journey of who I am today. Here's a small clip from that stage. So on May 10th, Mother's Day weekend, my 45th birthday, marked the official launch of the Hidden Chapters podcast. With the most personal and significant story, my mom and I. My mom's story is one of resilience, strength, and overcoming. She was a rape victim in college and became pregnant. Even in the face of that horrific act, she chose to have me. Forty-five years later, I wouldn't be here, nor be able to celebrate with my two daughters and be able to sit here and share my story with you all with you. But her story is one that is a story you wouldn't know from face value. And it is an amazing story about how she had rebuilt it. So if you're ever interested, season one, episode two is my mom's testimony. Episode one was my intro. But it seemed only fitting to have this triple celebration. My mother's and my story, my celebration of Mother's Day, and then this podcast. So you see, I do genuinely have an uh an interest in people's stories. I had a handful of friends that had stories that they were ready and willing to share. And they knew that if they could just get a chance to share their story with other people, they knew it would have an impact. So this podcast really was created with all of us in mind. Not just the military spouses, but the men and the women, civilians alike. Because season one guest shared things that we all go through things of grief, loss, depression. So it was all through this process that I was building something I wanted and building something I needed. And I had a really great friend say to me once, Jen Pascal, if you know her, military spouses are great at building what they need. Is that not true? Here's Jennifer from season two, episode five. Her memoir, Shattered Surrender, shares betrayal and abuse from 34 years of marriage and how she leaned on her faith. Her story shows resilience and hope, even in the hardest chapters. Let's listen to my neighbor and friend, Jennifer.

Jennifer 30:16

You need to write a book, you know, because of all of the adventures that you know that you've gone through, yeah, maybe someday I'll do that, you know. But it were it really was just like that. It was, I woke up one day and it was like, yeah, it's time. I'm gonna write a book. And I I had I feel like I had healed enough to wear to where. I could, you know, write, you know, write about what happened but and share it in a way that I could tell people, yes, it was horrible, yes, it was horrific, but this is what God did because I couldn't have made it without him. And there were times during those days I would come home from work and be on the floor on my face. And I asked God to let me die several times. Um He never let me die.

Genevieve 31:13

I'm thankful for that now. He said he had more to do. He needed you to be here for something more.

Jennifer 31:18

That's right. And it's like I didn't want to live in a world without him in it, because he was my whole life. I followed him all over the world, I took care of him, I ironed uniforms and moved all over the United States and even overseas, pregnant and having babies because you were a military wife too, and you understand that no matter how you do, and no matter how long you're in a place, I mean there were times we were only one in a place for like six months for him to go to school. Every box was opened, everything was hung on the wall, because your kids need to know that this is home, even though they're trying basically transient people. Yeah.

Genevieve 32:06

Nomads, that's what we call ourselves. Yeah. For a while we've we called ourselves nomads.

Jennifer 32:11

Yeah, that's and that's exactly what a military family is, because you know, you mark time by, you know, which post you live at or which where which baby was born here or whatever. And and you know that, you know, and that's true. You have to make your kids' lives as normal as possible when you do when you do that. So I just I just felt like people don't really see they see the soldiers come home, you know, they see them come home and all the fanfare and all the amazing things, which and it is, it's wonderful. It is so wonderful. But they don't see what happens when the cameras go away. And you have a soldier, a husband, officer, whatever, your best friend with PTSD from things they have seen, and you don't know what they're dealing with, and you've been left at home for a year and you're both mom and dad, and and it's it's hard. So I thought that people would not only military families could relate, but I thought even people that aren't in the military could gain a little bit of understanding of what the spouse goes through, you know, and what we go through when our guys are gone. And and I even wrote about it when we were at Fort Irwin, wrote about that every night all night long I would sit up and look out the window and then lay back down, and then 30 seconds later, sit back up and look out the window again, and then didn't see a car in the driveway, so I laid back down all night long for three years. Um, all night because he was gone every every four weeks, he was out in the field. So it's like we have to live with that.

Genevieve 34:01

This clip is from my longtime friend Meg, season one, episode eight. She openly shared about her early motherhood, birth trauma, postpartum depression, and raising a neodivergent child. But most importantly, she discovered purpose through this pain. I can't wait for you to listen to Meg. Well, in all of that, first of all, thank you. My goodness, I didn't even know. I know that we had we had talked after college, but I know that life just kind of took its way and we all just kind of did what we could do to survive, right? But that quiet unraveling that you were talking about, so you had that whole month back and forth into the hospital, what was that doing to you mentally?

Meg 34:50

Gosh, I think I was just in survival mode.

Genevieve 34:52

Yeah.

Meg 34:53

You know, I was really expecting my first month of motherhood to be just filled with joy and peaceful and easy and um yeah, I just feel like I was in survival mode. And I think I've lived in survival mode for gosh, 11 years before really getting serious therapy. That first year of parenthood was really lonely for me. Um, people who I considered my best friends, they shockingly didn't reach out. My phone had never been so quiet. And it was really at a time where I needed people to reach out and say, How are you doing? And I could have said, I don't know. I don't know how I'm doing. My whole world had just been, you know, really turned upside down. And, you know, maybe they didn't know what to say. Completely understandable. But yeah, when I really needed friends during that first year, it was the people I'd met in birthing and in my birthing classes and some of those connections to the small business community who were also mothers, and they were just able to kind of hold that space for me.

Genevieve 36:10

Yeah. When you were going through that survival mode, you mentioned postpartum depression hidden and PTSD from the birthing experience. Going a little deeper, kind of start from there. When did you start realizing that you had that postpartum depression? Because I went through that too. I went through postpartum.

Meg 36:30

Yeah, very deeply. 10 to 20% of women actually do go through postpartum. And I think it's something that a lot of us don't talk about because of the shame associated with it, right? Um, you know, when you're in the thick of it, I don't think you know you have it, right? Yeah. You don't, you don't know how to look for the signs. But I would say when the moms from my birthing class would reach out to me and they knew what had happened because all of our babies were kind of born around the same time. And so ours was probably in the middle towards the end of the group. Our our daughter was born, but they would reach out and include me and get togethers. And I had a really hard time going. I would force myself to get dressed. I felt horrible, you know, I was still swollen and I couldn't exercise. I certainly couldn't get my pre-pregnancy pants on. Um, so I would get dressed up and I would dress my baby up and we would go and I would pretend everything was okay. And I would arrive and they would just be glowing in motherhood. Breastfeeding was going easy. Their babies were sleeping, my baby didn't sleep through the night for five and a half years. Um I'm with you, sister. Yeah. And I just I felt like there was no space held for an experience that was any different than the narrative that they were all experiencing. There was, yeah, you just couldn't deviate from that. And when I did try to share my experience, I felt pity, you know, and that could have just been my reaction to it, but I felt a lot of pity and you know, would receive the generic like it's gonna get better, she'll sleep through the night. Have you tried this? I'm like, look, I've tried everything.

Genevieve 38:12

Unsolicited advice.

Meg 38:14

Unsolicited advice, which really no mom wants. But and and that was the time where exactly, exactly. And that's the time where like blogs are really big, parenting blogs. Um, you know, we didn't have Instagram and TikTok at that time, thank God, because I don't even know how I would have dealt with all of that. But we certainly had Facebook and we were posting pictures of, you know, of the baby. And but I would read these blogs and I would just want to throw my laptop against the wall because I'm like, my, how nice for you, right? Like I was drowning in resentment and jealousy and anger and all this unprocessed trauma. And I just couldn't connect. And I cried in the shower a lot because you just feel like you're failing. And there's so much shame connected to all of that. But it's probably when my mom left to go back to the East Coast after being with us for five months. I was home every day with Bear and Brian would go back to work and she barely napped. Um, I rarely had a break. You know, we would go out on walks, and I always joke, she's a Gemini. So it was like every other day was a good day. And if we were in the house longer than a day, she would kind of like lose it. So we would have to go go out for a walk. But I also had to pull myself together to take her for a walk, right? It was a it was a lot of work. Um and I never felt negative feelings towards her. I knew she had nothing to do with this, and I really would enjoy like our days and you know, pull from that little babysitter's like toolkit that I had for all those years to take care of her and love her and enjoy those moments. But, you know, Brian would come home from a long day of work and I would greet him at the door with the baby. I would hand the baby over, pour myself a huge glass of wine, and say, unless the two of you are dying, do not unlock this door. And I would go into my bedroom and I would lock the door. And now I can look back and say, well, that was really an unhealthy choice, you know, uh, because there certainly became a dependency on that behavior for many, many years. Um but he didn't know how much I was struggling. He just didn't know. I mean, so everything was just so new for him. But his experience with Bearsbirth was just this amazing, joyful event. And he had help along the way, right? With the support from my mom being there. So again, his experience was a little bit different. And, you know, he didn't know until recently, about a year or so ago, being in marriage therapy, that you know, I was fighting really intrusive thoughts about what it would be like to drive my car into a tree. Yes. What if I just drove off the highway into the Pacific Ocean? Yeah, it would make things so much easier. It would make the flashbacks go away. I wouldn't feel guilt anymore, I wouldn't be suffering. And of course, then I would think about how my family would suffer if I wasn't here. And that's what would pull me back in. But I didn't want anybody to know how ashamed I felt of all of these feelings, that I didn't feel grateful for this beautiful blessing before me. But I was just drowning. I was drowning.

Genevieve 41:42

This guest is very special to me. It's my husband Chris from season two, episode one. He recently published his book, Walking Away from the Ledge, after 22 years in the army. He shares his integration struggles, mental health challenges, and his thoughts of leaving Afghanistan after the war. It's a story about navigating transition with courage. Here's my hubby, Chris. So you spent several years deploying, and then after all of those deployments in your 22 and a half year career, the withdrawal from Afghanistan seemed like the ultimate invalidation for you. So after 20 years of sacrifice, losing limbs, life, a president pulls out, leaving helicopters, Humvees, MRAPs, weapons, everything behind. So how did that moment hit you, making your entire career feel like a waste?

Chris 42:39

So just the way they went about pulling everybody out. While we were there in 2020, there was a planned withdrawal. And it was ongoing. And we saw Kendahar was small in comparison to what uh all the people who had been deployed there prior had said it was like, you know, just busy all the time and buffling, and there wasn't uh you know very many units there. So the the withdrawal was slow, calculated, and ongoing. Uh, and then a year after we get home, uh, four years ago, roughly now, they've decided to just abandon it altogether. No withdrawal, just pull everybody out right now, let's go, leaving all that equipment that you mentioned. And so to me, it was just such a punch in the gut, and not only that, just 13 more lost lives on top of everything else right then and there, with an administration that didn't care, they didn't hold anybody accountable, uh, they just did it and were like trying to celebrate that we were out of Afghanistan after 20 years, and I'm all for that, but why you know without a solid plan, now the Taliban is more emboldened, and not only that, they're more emboldened with greater equipment than they would have ever had. So, in all honesty, from what you can see from the outside is that Afghanistan is in a worse-off position than if we never even would have gone there afterward. Uh, if you see a movie um 13 Strong, uh special forces that goes in there right after 9-11 and is bombing all these places in northern Afghanistan and retaliatory attacks, right? Um, I don't know the whole details of it, just what that movie showed, but you know, things were happening, so then we invade Occupy, and then we just pull out and leave, and now they have all this gear and they're better equipped. To me, it just it did. It invalidated all the training, all the loss of life, all the loss of limbs, all those people who have PTSD or other traumatic issues that they're going through afterward, it made all of it just useless and not worth the effort it was to spend all that time there. Um and you know, the then the only thing I'm not mentioning is the money because it all costs money, but it costs more than that, it costed lives. And so to just again to just abandon it, just straight up invalidated every bit of loss we've experienced over 20 years, and it's a real is for to me, it's a really just a slap in the face to all the family members who lost a service member during that time as well. It just there, I don't think there's any other way to see it, regardless of of how you view uh view it uh in that time. It just and and then for me, not only that, it invalidated all my service because you know I have 11 combat stripes. That's 66 months I spent in the Middle East. Yeah, 70 months of deployed time total in my military career, and all of it was for nothing. That that's that's the only way I see it is all of it was for nothing because we were just gonna walk away and abandon and leave them emboldened, empowered, and all that stuff because now the Taliban saw that all they have to do is wait out the big man on the block, keep throwing rocks at us, as it were, yeah, keep hurting people, keep taking lives, and they'll leave eventually. Oh, and what? We have all their gear. Thanks for playing, loser.

Genevieve 46:26

To close out Best of Collection, here's my new friend Lindsay from season two, episode three. I was honored to help with her book pre-launch, Holding On and Letting Go: A Life in Motion. She shares the courage to embrace change while navigating her husband's retirement. Here's Lindsay.

Lindsay 46:47

Um, as we finish, not just book launch, but Ryan getting out that last few months. You know, he's gone on to do skill bridge and all these different things, but I missed the day he was coming home in his uniform for the last day, like that time. And I had wanted to get back in time, but the kids and I were out doing something. And I just missed it. And it doesn't that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't have to mean anything unless I want it to mean something. But I am obviously still holding on to it as I'm sharing it to you because I wish I had been there for that. Like now I haven't seen him wear it again. And like, oh, that was it.

Genevieve 47:26

I understand. Yeah, because I do kind of miss the uniforms. I I miss having uh Chris get dressed in the morning and he changed uniforms over the course of the 20, the 18 years that we were together. He had three different uniform styles that went through in the army. But yeah, I understand that. Yeah.

Lindsay 47:44

Little things. It's little, the little things that are the big things always. So yeah, there has been a lot of little wonders during this season that have been both exhilarating and exhausting. And then that I think that's funny because the title of the book is Holding On and Letting Go. And I still think I am a person that really thinks in two lanes. You know, there's always this both and happening in our life, which is what helps me understand like the big things I go through, is holding those things kind of loosely and knowing these can both coexist, and it is okay that they're both here at the same time.

Genevieve 48:20

As we close out season one and two, again I want to say thank you so much. Thank you for showing up, for listening, and for being part of this journey. We're going on a little break for the holidays, but season three is coming, and I can't wait to bring you more stories from new guests, new authors, and some exciting collaborations. Until then, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year. And if you haven't already, please take a minute to share your feedback in the listener survey. It would help me out so much. And don't forget, you can revisit past episodes from season one and two during the break and head over to Substack to continue connecting, reflecting, and exploring these hidden chapters together. I'll see you in the next season.