TPF The Right Forest

Most of us are rushing through life, desperately trying to cross hurdles without first understanding which "forest" we actually need to cross. What if the biggest challenge isn’t the obstacle itself but the clarity — or confusion — about whether we are crossing the right one? In this episode of The Pain Factor, we discuss why rushing into action often leads us down the wrong path—and how pinpointing the "right forest" can save us years of wasted effort and prevent burnout.

The Pain Factor is a Project Fourtress podcast.

Project Fourtress is a secular, humanist project, dedicated to find answers to the physical, mental and emotional pain people experience, as well as offer help to deal with these issues. To learn more about Project Fourtress, please visit fourtress.org.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Welcome to the fight. Welcome to the pain factor. On this episode of The Pain Factor.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Everybody tells you to push. Society screams at you that you need a purpose, that you must fight to conquer your fears, to move forward. Move forward to where? Forward does not necessarily mean advancing. So I did what most of us do in the midst of the battle. I kept pushing harder and harder until I reached my breaking point. Has that happened to you? Are you pushing, wielding your sword across the battlefield because there is wars on the other side? Or because you are scared. You're scared to death to stop for a second and recognize you're going in the wrong direction. And what if, dare I say it, there is a way around? Because sometimes there is. Sometimes we are not required to fight, but to save our strength for when the actual fight begins. The unavoidable fight. And that of course is going to change and it's going to look very different depending on the person taking that journey. But regardless of how we look at all of this, and before we decide what to do, when to do it, and how, we should, we really should take some time to consider not only how we imagine the other side to be and what we expect to find there, but also the reasons that make us believe we need what's on the other side, and of course, the forest to be crossed. All of these considerations are important and have its own time and place. In an order that to me looks backwards, we try to determine what we want and need, the other side, why we believe we want or need it, how we would look once we get there, and what it would provide us with, and what it would take to get there, the forest. And I say that that order is backwards because once we have established what these three items are and what they look like, then we'll need to start from the last one we determine, the forest. And this is what I'd like to talk to you about today. Not just the forest per se, but facing it, standing in front of it, right before its gigantic presence, and most importantly, doing so in front of the right one. And I want to discuss this because figuring out what I wanted and how I wanted or I needed to achieve it, to me was kind of the easy part, or at least it wasn't that hard for me. My challenge, however, laid on identifying which forest was on my way. This might sound silly to you or overcomplicating things for others, but it is not only a genuine dilemma, but one we tend to ignore because we are too worried about doing what we think we need to do. We are desperate to start cutting through the bushes, not giving a second thought about what we will find on the other side, considering we ever make it. Everybody tells you to push. Society screams at you that you need a purpose, that you must fight to conquer your fears, to move forward. Move forward toward where forward does not necessarily mean advancing. You can be moving forward in the wrong direction because you have chosen the wrong forest. I was convinced I knew what I wanted and what I needed until I wasn't so convinced anymore. And that took time. Eventually, I was able to realize what I wanted and whether that was also what I needed. And that felt great. So I had the quote unquote other side figured out. So then I started to plan how I was going to achieve those goals, aka what forest I needed to go through. And I started to do exactly that. I ventured deep into the forest, my sharing hand, hacking my way through. And I did that for quite some time, and it was draining my life away. But I was focused on the goal, on the other side. So I did what most of us do in the midst of the battle. I kept pushing harder and harder until I reach my breaking point. Has that happened to you? I'm not saying that if you are crossing the right forest, you will be at no risk of reaching that breaking point. Not at all. What I am saying is that reaching that point while realizing you were going the wrong way could be devastating. And that is just another reason and a very important one to be careful with our choices, to be as thorough as we can when evaluating our goals and priorities and the price that we are willing to pay for them. Going back to what happened to me, I cannot tell you if I had an epiphany or a revelation or I just got lucky. I don't know. What I do know is that I realized I was weighing my life away, trying to create a pathway through a forest that wasn't mine to cross. I guess I simply could not keep pushing, paying the cost, watching life pass by me. There is always a cost reward balance that we need to consider. Always, even when it might seem unbalanced. Are you willing to pay that price? And if you are, why are you? Is it because you are certain of what you want and need and of the path that you must create to get to your goal? Or is it just your ego? Yes. Ego ego that could get hurt if you were to accept that you were wrong. Or maybe worse, is it fear? Are you pushing, wielding your sword across the battlefield because the rewards on the other side? Or because you are scared? You're scared to death to stop for a second and recognize that you are going in the wrong direction. Is it even your battle to fight? Is that the other side, yours or someone else's? Is it what you long for or what you've been told you have to achieve? And if it is, are you standing in front of the right forest? Fighting for the sake of fighting is not the answer, nor will it bring you relief, at least not in a lasting way. So what does your forest look like? And what if, dare I say it, there is a way around it? Because sometimes there is. Sometimes we are not required to fight, but to save our strength for when the actual fight begins. The unavoidable fight, the one you cannot escape from. You're going to need that machete sharp for that forest, your forest. So don't wear it down on insignificant twigs that you can brush aside with a simple flick of your hand. If you are going into combat, try your best to do it on your terms for your own goals and for a price you have deemed to be fair. And if you have identified your forest, I need a breather, a rest, a respite before entering it, go ahead and take that respite. It's okay. It is fine to have a day where we just are not able to able to to what? Able to nothing. It is okay. It is okay to feel weak, to be hurting, to need to lie down. Just don't linger there. Get up before you get too weak. If you need to rest because you need to recover, then recover and keep moving. The danger doesn't lie in accepting our weakness. It does in accepting that as our normal state. So if you know where you want to get to, because you also know what you want and what you need, go through that forest. Get as ready as you can and as strong as you can possibly get and start cutting through the bushes. Just make sure you're crossing the right forest. We will see you next time when we continue to explore the pain factor. Ciao ciao. The Pain Factor is a Project Fortress podcast. Project Fortress is a secular humanist project dedicated to find answers to the physical, mental, and emotional pain people experience as well as offer help to deal with these issues. To learn more about Project Fortress, please visit Fortress.org. That is F-O-U-R-T-R-E-S-S.org. I'm Gustavo Varella. I'm not a licensed medical professional, nor am I a nutritionist or hold a degree in exercise or sports medicine. All of the advice given on this podcast is what I have learned from my own experiences and mistakes, navigating through depression, anxiety, and chronic physical pain. Project Fortress is not responsible for any actions that may occur as a result of your listening to and implementing the advice we provide. Use all of the information that we give at your own risk.