Stuck in Midlife? How to Stop Stalling & Start Moving Forward After 40

In this episode of MORE, we’re unpacking that frustrating, familiar place we call “stuck.” It’s what happens when you know what you want to do, but hesitation keeps holding you back. 

Here’s the truth: you’re not broken. You’re carrying the weight of uncertainty—and that makes even simple choices feel heavy. But being stuck isn’t forever.

Together, we’ll delve into why we freeze, explore how to shift your mindset, and discover what it takes to turn hesitation into action. You’ll walk away with simple resets and practical tools to help you stop waiting for “someday” and start moving forward—today.

Contact Cathy at https://www.moreformidlifers.com/contact/

Transcript

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Have you ever felt like you're running around in circles, busy every day, but not really moving forward toward what you really want to do? Sometimes you find yourself filled with confidence and pride and ambition and full of ideas. But sometimes you just don't know how to get them going. And at other times there's a feeling of dread. Like, I don't want to do this, but I have to. Sometimes you're overcome with fear of failure, fear of taking risks, and not sure which direction you should go. So you just don't go. You don't start the project. You know you're over preparing, overanalyzing, overthinking, but you're at a standstill. Yes, you're stuck. You know, someone once told me when I expressed that I was a little bit stuck, you know, and I said to her, I just I just don't know which way to go. And she said to me, There is no such thing as being stuck. She said not taking the step was a choice. That I was choosing to be stuck, really? I think that's what she meant, and I believe she was right. So well being uncertain and nonproductive is pretty typical in midlife. Everything changes so quickly for us. Careers shift, and kids grow up, they move on, and before you know it, you're carrying the weight of everyone else while your own goals take a back seat, and you find yourself putting your plans aside and dealing with what's in front of you again. Sound familiar? And I know that there are some of you who believe that there's more out there at this time in life, but don't know exactly what it is or how to get it. You may be in a job that's no longer challenging or in a location that no longer serves you. You may be in the middle of a big decision you need to make about children or parents or life or health, and you're dreading the inevitable and wondering how did I get here? And why can I move forward like you're paralyzed with fear or afraid to fail? And you'd give anything to know what to do to get unstuck. I'm sure that there was a time when you had a list of things that you'd hope to accomplish, either in a given day or in a given month or year, after your kids left for college or after your schedule opened up. But so much time has passed since you made that list that it may not even be relevant anymore, or not appropriate or no longer necessary. Today we'll talk about that invisible wall between finding out what it is you want and feeling like you're ready to go after it. And I'll share how to spot the signs that you're ready for a change and ready to jump in and take that first step in your own time. Welcome to more, the podcast for midlifers who are active, capable, and full of life, yet still find themselves at a frustrating standstill. I know, stuck, unable to move forward, and you have the tools, you have the calendar, the whiteboard, the things that'll motivate you, you have the resources, the research, the plan, but you haven't quite decided when or how you're going to go about it. They say that all you have to do is count to five and jump. They say just put one foot in front of the other. Just do it. Well, you know, it's not as easy as all that. What about you? Do you need motivation or need to get the momentum going? Do you need a deadline? I remember a time when I needed a reason to complete a work project that I was dreading and procrastination had set in. Like I don't know what I was waiting for. But as soon as the boss upped the deadline and told me I needed to get it done a lot sooner, I felt like I just had to aggressively finish the project. Took a lot of adrenaline, but I got it done. Or the time I was faced with having to entertain people. People were going to spend the weekend and all of a sudden all the small projects I had to do around the house got done in record time. Why is that, I wonder? Feeling stuck isn't about the lack of motivation or ambition. Most of the time it's about patterns that have been running quietly in the background for years. For many professionals over 40, those patterns look like self-doubt, the quiet voice that says, You're not enough, or you're too old, or too late. Oh, oh, I can just hear the voices from the people in my past. I like to say that self-doubt doesn't shout, it whispers. And the worst part, it often sounds just believable enough to make you stop and second guess and stay put and not even put forth the effort. I know someone who was stuck and mentally blocked for a long time, about a year. And she felt paralyzed, could not move forward. The fear of failure was so overwhelming it kept her from completing the goal. Can you relate? What's causing you to spin your wheels? Why do we stay stuck? Self-doubt whispers. Perfectionism convinces you to wait until everything is just right. Is that ever gonna happen? Fear of the unknown keeps you in your comfort zone, even when it's no longer fulfilling. I heard a quote once it says nothing in life is worthwhile unless you take risks. Every failed experiment is one step closer to success. If you don't fail, you're not even trying. Who said that? Denzel Washington. True, isn't it? So what do we do to regroup or reset? I'm gonna give you three steps. Number one name the habit that's holding you back. You know, you can't change what you can't see. So the first step is to spot the habit or pattern that's keeping you in the same loop. Maybe it's overthinking. Maybe you don't ever make a move because you're just, I don't know, plagued with analysis paralysis. Maybe it's saying yes to everyone else. So your priorities are always last. Or maybe it's telling yourself, oh, I can do that next week. Once you name it, you take away some of its power. From there, you choose one small action to replace it, something doable. For example, if you overthink, why don't you set a 15-minute timer and make a decision before it rings? If you say yes too much, try this. Practice saying no. Or let me get back with you. Tiny changes that shift momentum faster than you think. Shift gears for a moment away from the project that's causing you to be stuck. Experience success there, such as doing something active, running a marathon, walk, run, stretch, make your body feel different. Do something social, feel connected. You're not motivated. Oh, I know. But force yourself to connect and tap into the energy that you get from other people. Do something creative like art or music and take on the project in increments one little bit at a time. Doing things in stages always gives you a sense of accomplishment, even and you've only completed one stage because you know you only have three or four to go. Number two, challenge a limiting belief. Challenge. Our beliefs drive our actions or keep us from acting at all. Limiting beliefs often sound like facts in your head. I'm too old, I don't want to do this, I'm too not tech savvy enough, I won't be able to keep up. I can't, I'm physically limited. Here's the reset move. Examine that old belief and ask yourself, is this 100% true? Then look for a real life example that proves it wrong. Like maybe you've landed a role in a completely different industry and you want to celebrate that success. Maybe you've learned a new skill in your 50s. Or maybe you saw somebody your age or older do exactly what you're telling yourself you can't. Use those examples to shatter the old belief until it loses its grip, frees you up, and the old wounds and old stories go away. Number three, find support. Don't try to reset alone. There are a lot of people around you who will have will be happy to support you, whether it's a trusted friend or a relative or a mentor, a mastermind group, a coach, support gives you perspective, encouragement, and accountability. Here's the thing. When you're in the thick of it, your own doubts can talk you out of progress. But someone outside your head can spot your blind spots, remind you of your strengths, and keep you moving when you'd rather stall. Don't overcomplicate, start with one step, one conversation, one text, one call. The important thing is that you create a circle that lifts you up instead of keeping you in the same place. If you're stuck in the same old, same old, just going through the motions, and you have a project to complete, you know, you know it's there. Let's do this. Get up from wherever you are right now, stand up with me, do some jumping jacks right here, right on the spot. That's right. Start moving and get energized. Why do I feel like I sound like Richard Simmons right now? I guess because I do. But super energized, start, look that stagnant feeling in the face and say, I'm doing this, and go, go. Start the project, just start and send me a comment because I want to celebrate that with you. If you're no longer satisfied with things in your life the way they are, you're no longer learning or stretching or excited about what you're doing, feeling burnout. If what once felt right, your work, your lifestyle, your daily routine, and it's no longer in alignment with who you are now. And if you've achieved things that you thought would make you happy yet something still feels off, that restless there's got to be more feeling is a strong signal that it's time to explore what's next. When there's a gap between what matters to you and how you're living, it's time to change. That's your cue to shake things up and create opportunities for growth again. You're worth it. So here you are. Stuck is a moment, not a life sentence. Change is needed somewhere. Something is causing inaction. It might be fear or failure, or success even, because you know it'll change your life and your relationships. Whatever it is, you take a step toward it, and that first step, it might feel shaky or small or unnoticeable. But it's movement. Movement is good, and it's movement in the right direction. Just think, if you don't make a change today, another year could pass, and you'll still be in the same starting line. But if you reset, you'll gain clarity and energy and purpose and start moving toward the life that you've been imagining. Are you ready for more? Come on, let's go! If you're ready to get unstuck, if you're ready to break the cycle and need a bit of a nudge to get started, click the link and contact me. It's free. Together we will reignite the spark that's been put on hold for too long. You're not too old, you're not too late, or too far gone, you're just getting started. Thank you for joining me today, and I'll see you in the next episode of more.