From Empty Nest to a Life of Adventure

In this episode, we dive into the emotional rollercoaster of the empty nest—the pride, the grief, the unexpected feelings, and the surprising gifts it brings.

Together, we’ll talk about rediscovering who you are beyond parenting, filling this new space with purpose and joy, and realizing this season not as an ending, but as a chance for growth and renewal.

With real-life stories and expert insights, we’ll navigate what it means to face an empty nest—whether you’re already there or preparing for it.

Your challenge? To open your hands and let them go, trusting the foundation you built—and leaning into something new for you. 

Contact Cathy at https://www.moreformidlifers.com/contact/

Transcript

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You raise them, you guide them, and then the house goes quiet. And even if you thought you were ready, the silence is deafening and it surprises you. And that's what happens when your child goes off to school or leaves the home. Today we're talking about how to embrace the emptiness with more clarity, more self-discovery, and more joy than you expected. Welcome to More for Midlifers, the podcast for those of us who know that life doesn't end at 50, it just gets more interesting. Hi, I'm Kathy, certified leader, career advisor, and midlife mentor, and today we're talking to everyone who's staring at that suddenly quiet house, wondering, now what? If you're facing an empty nest, whether you're celebrating or grieving or feeling a mix of both, today we're going to explore how to create a life that's full of activity and of things that bring you joy and things that are all about you for a change. You know, this is such a normal transition. Moving from one season of life into another. And just as your children are moving from home to a brand new environment and brand new life, it's a period of transition for us. We've spent years guiding our children and teaching them how to be independent and strong and brave. We have our uncles and aunts talking to them and encouraging them as though they needed any encouragement, right? But here it is, the moment that they get to spread their wings and learn to fly, and it's hard. I know because I've been there. But our job is to let them take a deep breath. Trust all those lessons and values that you poured into them. It's not about losing them. Really? It's about loving them enough to let them go. And you know what? They come back. They always do. And they come back wiser and more connected and feeling closer to you. And sometimes they even say, Well, you know, mom, you really do make sense. Man, I didn't think I'd ever hear them say that. But it's true. Because no matter how far they go, they know that you are still their home base, that place of safety and security. When my son left home to go to college, and he'd already been working a couple years in high school, he had met a bunch of people who, like him, had the same ambitions. They wanted to make money, they wanted to go to college. And I don't think I even took him to school. I don't think I went through that whole going to Walmart and buying things. I know he had a microwave because it lived in my garage many years after he finished. I don't remember going to school and dropping him off. I think that he and his friends had this united front and told their parents they're gonna do this on their own. I do know that the other parents and I kind of thought, aren't we supposed to be making sure that they have everything they need? They didn't want us there. So I just let it go. But it was odd. Odd thinking about it now, it's like how could I have done that? And yet that's what he wanted to do, Mr. Independent. And he left that day, and I said goodbye, and I felt the sudden, holy cow, he's gone. And I went to work the next day and I was sad. Came home that night and I was sad, but lo and behold, his car was in the driveway when I got home. I'm like, why is he here? What a surprise. I rushed into the house, I looked and thought something wrong. No, he's sitting in his bed in his room, quiet. I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything, and I realized I forgot my toothpaste. My head. Toothpaste I was wondering, what don't they have drugstores on campus? But I didn't say anything anything. I just let him and he talked a little bit and I don't know what he was doing in that room, just maybe saying goodbye to his stuff. But by the end of the night, and around 10 o'clock, he decided he's ready to go back to school. Thank goodness he was only two hours away. It seemed like an eternity to me, but it was something he needed to do, and I realized he just needed to assimilate. He decided he was ready to move on. He and his friends have remained friends to this day, and and they managed amazingly well. I'm blessed. What about you? Are you an empty nester? Or are you approaching the day that your child leaves? And how are you feeling right now? You know, where your main focus with them home was mothering and taking care and protecting them when you felt needed. Well, this moment is about feeling pride and grief. It's about letting go and leaning into something new for you. It's about acknowledging the fear and the dread and the loss. Because there are some people who think that their life has lost its meaning now, the children are gone, and yet there are others who just jump right in and create a new workout room where the child's room was, a new office. Or sometimes they'll go on a trip. I remember someone I worked with poured herself into a renovation project after her son left home in the son's old bedroom, and she was so proud. She says, I painted it. School bus yellow. How about that? I'm like, okay. When both of my kids left home? Oh yes, I missed them terribly, and there was a gap. Oh yes. I'm not gonna say that didn't happen. And I remember telling my mother that I felt my kids had pushed me off to the side. Mom, I says, they're not even calling me anymore. And my mom says, Why do you feel that way? You prepared them for this, don't you think? You gave them wings and now they're flying, Kathy. Good job. And of course I says, What? I did that I realized the hard way. My kids did not think of me as much as I thought of them, or they did not miss me as much as I miss them. And while it hurt, my mom's words reassured me. All was the way it was supposed to be. Get over it. Move on. So if you're feeling loss, maybe regret, you're not alone. And if you're not quite to the emptiness years yet, but see it on the horizon, you need to know your nest does not have to be empty. You've raised your kids, they've launched. Congratulate yourself. And now think about the things you need. Find a new identity, the one in which parenting is not the focus. You're not ending a role, you're expanding. So take the time to reflect on the things that you might have put on hold, that you might have postponed when life got so full, and do the things that you really want to do. You can start by joining a walking group, getting up early, joining a yoga class, become involved in a church or political campaign, volunteer. I know a single mom who, when her child left home, she took in a roommate, another single mom and child, and that brought life back into her home almost immediately. Take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, you deserve it, no excuses. This is about you and your partner. This is a time to rekindle that friendship that brought the two of you together. Revisit romance. Go on a weekend getaway, take a cruise, go on a big adventure, plan things for just the two of you and have fun. Seek people who are going through the same thing you're going through. Dream again. Write that song, write that book. Go to the little theater and audition. Why not? You can do it. I've always wanted to, right? When both of my kids left home and I was alone, hit with a deep emptiness, yes. And for years I had poured myself into raising them, had poured myself into my work, and suddenly the house was quiet. Oh and I felt the gap. That space that you come home to at night when there's no one there. And I was not married at the time, so it was just me, and I realized I had to find a new way forward. So I pushed myself to expand my horizons, as they say, and I joined so many local groups, got myself so busy. One year a few of us took the church van to a conference at the beach, and I met a woman who arrived with five pieces of luggage mostly filled with books. And I says, What do you have? All these books. Oh, she says, I'll plan to read all weekend, and I'll share some with you if you like. Now that I think about it, yeah, if I hadn't gone to the beach with that group, I would never have met her. We instantly connected. We shared all kinds of stories and laughed a lot, and she's one of my closest friends even today. That's you, Sheila. Together we've walked through the ups and downs of life, and I cannot imagine my life without her friendship. We still laugh a lot. That's important. Looking back, I know this. Sometimes the cure for emptiness is a courage to say yes to something new. You never know what value will come out of it in the end. Let me remind you the best of you did not leave with your kids. The best has been right there all along waiting for you. So it's your turn to grab it. You are needed in this new season of life. You are talented, experienced, and unique, so take the time to consider what's next for you. Your nest is empty, but your future is full of possibilities. So you may be experiencing fluctuating emotions, alternating between grief and joy, sometimes extreme, sometimes all at the same time. But that's what being in the life is all about. Hormone changes, parents getting sick, jobs changing, relationship challenges on top of our children growing up and not needing us as much, but all at the same time. Sometimes you just need somebody to talk to. And if you find that you can't get out of the slumps, seek help. I found that my children were happier and more free when they knew that I was independent and happier too. As you step into this new season, remember the quiet house is not a sign of ending. It's an invitation to explore what's been waiting for you. Time to try new passions, reconnect with old dreams, or simply learn who you are beyond your role as a parent. Are you ready to tackle the challenge of launching your kids and choosing a new normal? If you need a fresh perspective on what you're going through, reach out to me and let's chat. Click the link to the contact me page because sometimes one conversation is all it takes to bring that much-needed clarity. I enjoyed being with you today. Thank you for joining me. If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend who might need a little encouragement right now. And if you haven't yet, join our Morph of Midlifers Facebook group. Tell us what your empty nest has been like. And if you're anticipating being an empty nester this year, you know you're gonna meet a lot of really great people in the More for Midlifers Facebook. People who get it and will provide you with lots of support. Will we cheer each other up? Fabulous. We're just getting started. And I'll see you in the next episode of more.