Episode 8: Rooted & Recovered - Owning What Broke Others

What if your freedom starts with a name?

In this deeply challenging episode of Rooted & Recovered, Dan and Justin walk through Step Eight of the 12-Step journey: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

This is the step where recovery shifts from just cleaning the inside to addressing the damage on the outside. It’s about taking ownership, facing the people you’ve hurt, and finally breaking the silence that’s been weighing you down. Real freedom demands real honesty, and this episode will push you to name the names you’ve buried, confront the wounds you’ve caused, and prepare for the kind of restoration that sets you free.

Key Highlights:

• Recovery isn’t just about what happened to you—it’s about what happened because of you
• Making a list isn’t about guilt—it’s about grace on paper
• Real change demands real ownership
• Why some people may never forgive you, and why that’s okay
• Zacchaeus and the power of radical ownership (Luke 19:1-10)

 Scriptures Covered:
Matthew 5:23-24 • 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 • Luke 19:1-10

Final Truth:
Your story isn’t just about you. It’s about the people you’ve impacted, the lives you’ve touched, and the healing you’re willing to walk back into. You’re not just writing names—you’re writing the first lines of restoration.

 Pray for this episode to reach someone who’s ready to step into real freedom. Like, share, and tag a friend who needs this message today.

Transcript

0:00

This world doesn't hand out healing. It offers quick fixes, cheap highes and empty promises, but real recovery. It takes roots. Roots that dig deep into truth, into identity, into the unshakeable grace of God. We're not here to sugarcoat the struggle. We've lived it. Addiction, shame, relapse, regret, but we've also seen resurrection. We've seen what happened. Happens when broken people get anchored in something real rooted and recovered is more than a podcast. It's a battleground for the soul. A place where scars tell stories, where scripture speaks louder than shame, where freedom isn't just a word. It's a war we win daily. So if you're tired of surface level answers, if you want truth that convicts, hope that heals, and conversations that cut through the noise, you're in the right place. Welcome to Rooted and Recovered.

Justin: 1:08

How's everybody doing today? This is Justin, one half of the dynamic duo rooted in recovered. I am joined as always with Dan. Dan, how are you doing today, Dan? Hello,

Dan: 1:18

hello, hello. Good to see you, brother. Always a pleasure and honor to be able to chill with you in the studio and, uh, sit down and, um, share a little bit of good news with, um, our family today. And

Justin: 1:32

that's what this is, guys. Um, good news. Good news that there is recovery. And I'm not just talking about recovery the way the world recovers. I'm talking about real recovery that is rooted in Christ. That's why we call ourselves rooted in recovered, because when you become rooted in Christ, you see that real recovery is not about drugs and alcohol. It's about so much more, but there's a part we play in it. Mm-hmm. And that's what we've been talking about. We've been going over the steps. The 12 steps and the biblical meanings behind them, and we've been going kind of fast. So what I wanna encourage you to do today is if you feel like we're going too fast, remember recovery is not a microwave. Stick it in there. Three seconds, it's done. Go back to the beginning. Take your time, listen to what we're saying, look into the scriptures, pray about it. Realize it's a journey. It's like a crockpot, it's like a good gumbo. You gotta put all the ingredients in and just keep cooking it down, right? This dude

Dan: 2:37

can make jambalaya like nobody's business guys. I've had it before.

Justin: 2:41

And that's what we wanna do with our recovery. We don't, you don't complete these steps and all of a sudden, ding, I'm recovered. It's, it's a process, right? And the last three steps that we're gonna be getting into are maintenance steps. And if I'm being honest, I still go back to step one. Sometimes daily if I need to. So what I wanna encourage you with today is take time to enjoy this. Mm-hmm. Go back, listen. But now you know,

Dan: 3:13

this is the part. This is a tough one. Justin. This is where it gets, this is a tough one.

Justin: 3:18

It's just as tough as I believe in step four for here, because this is where not only are we admitting, um. But we're gonna start owning what Broke Others. Step eight says, made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing, became willing to make amends to them all. You see, the truth is your freedom might begin with their name. Wow, that's good. Recovery isn't just about what happened to you. We like to have this, you, me, centered. It's also about what happened because of you. Right. And that's what we're gonna

Dan: 4:03

look at. Well, you think about it, Justin, we, you know, we talk a lot about what has happened to us. We've spent a lot of time talking about trauma and betrayal and loss and pain, and family. That's real. That matters. I, I'm not here to discredit any of that at all, but family recovery isn't complete if it only stops at your wounds because this is step eight. It's not about your scars. It's about the scars that you've left on someone else. You see recovery, it's not just about what happened to you, it's about what happened because of you. And this is where the victim step aside and the truth steps forward. This is where you stop researching what you did to where you start owning what you did to others. Not to drown in guilt, not to shame yourself, but to finally stop hiding behind the version of you that doesn't tell the whole story. You see this step, Justin, is where healing goes horizontal, where it moves from just you and God to you and the people that you've impacted.

Justin: 5:28

isn't that the perfect picture of the cross? Because you've got the up and down you and God, and this is you opening your arms up saying, I know I made mistakes and I'm welcoming those in, and I'm welcoming in others. You know, I look at my recovery and man, I can tell you all the things that was done to me, but it's right here. When I started being real with myself, I understood that I. Played a big part in what happened. Even if I did anything or I did nothing at all, I still never let it go. And that caused pain to them. That caused hurt to others. And that's what this step is, taking that bold step and saying, okay, what did I do to someone else?

Dan: 6:19

It's uncomfortable because you know what? It's in this step, Justin, that you're gonna have to bring up names you've buried. It might stir up moments that just to be honest with you, you'd rather forget. But guys, this isn't about guilt, it's about ownership. It's about walking back into the wake of your choices. Not to relive it, but to take responsibility. And prepare to repair because ignoring the damage doesn't erase it fam. Naming it. That's the first step to making it right, because you can't heal what you won't admit you broke. You can't find peace while you're pretending you didn't cause pain. True recovery doesn't just clean the inside. It cleans up the mess that spilled out outside of you too. And that cleanup starts with a list, a name, a moment of truth, and maybe freedom that you didn't know, Justin, you were missing. And if you

Justin: 7:33

think about it, the first person on that list should be God.

Dan: 7:41

Mm-hmm.

Justin: 7:43

Because let's be honest, we all fall short of the glory of God. My Bible says that no one looks to do good. So start there. Be honest with yourself, but then get honest with yourself about the others. I love what you said. It starts with a name and oftentimes it's one buried. It's easy for me to remember the people I've hurt that I didn't know well. But this is where we start owning the truth of what about my kids? What about my mom? What about my dad, my grandparents? What about my wife? This is us saying. I did wrong. And it's not me beating myself in the face with a baseball bat of guilt and shame. It's me owning the fact that I made mistakes. And when you do that, you find freedom because you realize just like the other step, that's not who I was but that's not who I am. This is us moving forward and it's a bold step and it look. Make sure you've made that commitment to God. Make sure you've humbled yourself because you can come here and do this. And I'm telling you, if you step out on your own, you're liable to get smacked with some truth that you didn't really want to hear. And you probably deserved it. Yes, and I deserved it. I deserved it. And you know what the thing is, we have to realize as well, this isn't about them.

Dan: 9:11

It's

Justin: 9:11

about us.

Dan: 9:12

Mm-hmm. We gotta be real th this step right here, it takes guts to look in that rear view mirror. Not at what you, not at what's been done to you, but the wake you left behind that mess you made. So, Justin, we don't like this part about recovery'cause it's easier to talk about the pain we've endured than the pain we've caused. But step eight demands. That's why. That's right. I'm bold enough to say step eight demands from us a different kind of courage. Not the courage just to confront others, but to confront your past self. This isn't about digging up shame. This isn't about wallowing in guilt and replaying over and over and over. The failures that we've made in our life, guys, this is about redemption. It's about being honest enough to say, that was me. I did that, but that's not who I am. Anymore. And Jesus gives us a challenge. Justin, I love, and in Matthew chapter 5:23-24, and we were, I was just talking about this with somebody the other day. Listen to what Jesus said. He said, if you are offering your gift at the altar. And there, remember that your brother or sister has something against you. Leave your gift there in front of the altar first and go be reconciled to them. I. Did you catch that? He says, before you worship, before you sing, before you serve, go get it. Right? Why? Because reconciliation matters to God. It's not just spiritual obedience, family, it's relational healing and making this list in step eight isn't about perfection. it's not about fixing every relationship overnight. It's about owning your impact and saying, God, I'm ready to be made whole. And sometimes that person, you're restoring the most, Justin is you.'cause redemption begins. Where denial ends. And as long as you keep minimizing the damage, you'll keep minimizing your growth. But when you're bold enough to face what really happened, healing starts to breathe again, and the door to restoration only opens when you and I stop pretending the house isn't damaged. Let the list be a declaration. I'm not that person anymore, but I'm willing to make it right again.

Justin: 12:12

You was talking Dan 2nd Corinthians 5:17-18. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ. He's a new creation, right? We just talked about that. That's not who I was. Behold, old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. When you have given your life to Christ, when you have truly surrendered, you are a new creation. But look at what he says. Now. All things are of God who has reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ. What'd you say, Dan? We have to go do and has given us the ministry. Of reconciliation. We are saved. We are made whole with God, forgiven by God so that we can go forgive others and we can go ask. For forgiveness from others that we can reconcile. Look, you want a restoration in your relationship. Why don't you try owning up to the fact that you played a part in what hurt somebody else? Mm-hmm. You wanna see your family back. I can't promise you I'm back, but I can tell you, you will have peace when you start owning up to the fact that you were probably a vital role in why they don't want to talk to you anymore. Right? We want the healing, but we don't wanna see what really needs healed. We want other people just to bow down to us because we're different. Sometimes it takes us not only humbling ourselves before God, but humbling ourselves before others and surrendering to God's will and saying, God, I'm doing this not just for them, not just for me, but because you asked me to. I know I've made a mess of my life. When I went and made amends, I went never expecting to hear. I forgive you. I went just to get it off of my chest. And you know what? That's boldness. That's walking by faith and not by sight.

Dan: 14:15

This step, Justin, requires us to realize that. Uh, your story. My story isn't just about you. Mm. It's not just about me. You see up to this point, these steps, you know, uh, recovery, it's, it's felt very personal. You know, our pain, our past, our healing. But now step eight brings a crucial truth into focus your story. Isn't just about you. You see the ripple effects of your addiction. Your selfishness fear, your brokenness. They didn't stay contained. They always reached Justin for someone else. Someone in your life lost sleep because of your chaos. Somebody cried. Because of your choices. And the truth is somebody still flinches at the sound of your name and Step eight doesn't just ask you to reflect. It's asking you to stand up as a man or a woman and take responsibility in this list family. It's not just a paper of names. It's the beginning of restoration. But hear this, this isn't about fixing your past because I'm gonna be honest with you, sometimes there's just things you've done in life that can't be undone. This isn't about facing it. This is about facing it, honestly, humbly and with grace. Grace says, I see what I did. I still believe God can use me. Grace that doesn't excuse the damage but refuses to be defined by it. Grace that says, I'm not that person anymore, but I care about the pain that that individual still carries because when you make this list family, you're not reopening wounds. You're preparing for healing, you're owning your part. You're refusing to hide behind that, that this is in the past, and that kind of ownership, Justin, is where freedom begins to multiply.

Justin: 17:00

You know, there's a saying, hurt people, hurt people. We love to use that when we're talking about ourselves, right? Oh yeah, they hurt me, but they were hurt. This is us admitting that we were hurt and because of that hurt, we hurt people. You know, I watched what happened in my household growing up and when I got older, part of me let that happen. It doesn't take away from the fact of what had happened in my past, but I wanted healing, so I had to admit that I had done something just as wrong. But when I did and I offered that and I owned it, I seen restoration. Now, like you said, there's some people. You're gonna offer and you're gonna own, and they're just gonna flinch, but you can sleep well at night because the peace is about what happened to them. And we hold on to that. Mm-hmm. We hold on to what we did to people. Right. This is us letting it go. Just like we talked about with our character defects. This is us letting it go and owning it and saying, you're right, God. I'm gonna let it go and I'm gonna offer to make amends with these people because they deserve it. I deserve it, and you deserve it.

Dan: 18:42

I mean, if I'm honest with you, Justin, I did some really horrible things to people, you know, in my addiction and unfortunately, we can't rewrite what happened. What we can do is stop pretending it didn't matter. You see why? Because when you stop downplaying the damage, you start reclaiming your dignity. When you stop justifying what you did, you start becoming who God always intended you to be. This isn't about changing the story. It's about walking back into the wreckage with grace. Grace in your heart and growth in your steps. And when I think about this, Justin, I think about Zacchaeus and you'll read about the story of Zacchaeus in Luke chapter 19. Uh, the first 10 verses talk about this guy, but Zacchaeus was the kind of guy, Justin, that most people avoided. He wasn't just a tax collector. The Bible said that he was a chief tax collector, and that day that meant that he was corrupt. He was greedy. He was hated. And what Zacchaeus did was he got rich from stealing from his own people. Something happened inside him and it was stirring. He heard about Jesus. He, the Bible says that he was desperate for just a glimpse of Jesus. And apparently he was a short guy, Justin. Um, so to see over the crowd, he ran up and the Bible says that he climbed up into this tree. That alone right there tells me that this guy was hungry for change because grown men don't normally climb trees in that culture. Mm-hmm. Especially not rich ones. But I have to believe with all my heart, Justin, that at this point in time, Zacchaeus was done pretending he was ready to be different. Jesus sees him and he calls him by name and he says, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today. And just like that family, everything shift. Zacchaeus, comes down not just from the tree, but from that old life. He doesn't wait for a sermon. He doesn't ask what he has to do. He takes initiative. He says that if I cheated anybody outta anything, I will pay them back four times the amount. Guys, that's steps eight and nine in motion right there. Honest reflection and radical ownership. And Jesus doesn't say, whoa, whoa. Slow down you that. That's a bit too much. No, he says today. Salvation has come to this house. Why? Because Zacchaeus didn't just feel bad, he stepped forward. He didn't just wait for forgiveness. He wanted to make it right. And that's what happens when Grace really grabs a hold of someone. Justin. It moves them to do more than confess it. It moves them to restore the evidence. Family, listen to me. The evidence of a changed heart is a willingness to make things right.

Justin: 22:28

You know, one of my favorite parts of that story is Jesus knew his name, listener Jesus knows your name. Jesus knew what had done, yet he still wished to go to his house and eat dinner. That tree that Zacchaeus climbed God planted long before Zacchaeus was ever in there. That's good knowing, knowing that one day Zacchaeus would climb it. Don't think that God doesn't know. Don't think you're gonna surprise him by saying, well, God, I don't know if you know I did this. He knows. He knows he was there. He probably had tears in his eyes, not only for the person it happened to, but for you because he knew at the pain it was causing you in the moment, and yet he still comes. He says your name and he says, today I want to go with you and I love what you said. This is a perfect example of step eight and nine. Zacchaeus says, I want to give back four times as much. I recognize that I've done wrong You think a politician is bad? This, this guy, he would've made some of the worst politicians we know look good because he was basically getting over on his own people and yet he was willing to give back. Do you know that that would've, well, he would've ended up poor'cause he would've had to give it all back. But think about his pride. Think about what that would do to somebody to go and say, Hey, I know I've been cheating you and I want to give back. You think those people that he took from were sitting there going, oh, cool. Thanks man. No, they were probably had some pretty mean things to say to him. Well, I'm sure they did, but yet he still did it because it didn't matter because he recognized the wrong owned it. And was willing to make it right, and that's what God wants. This is a step where God is us. God is asking us, are you willing to make it right? Look, we're gonna talk about making it right, but right here before we make it right. We have to be willing to make it right. We have to be willing to be willing. This is us choosing, like I said, the power we have is in the choice. This is us choosing to say, God, I want to make it right with this person. I wanna make it right with this person. It's hard, right? So if, if you can't, if there's some people you're looking at and you're thinking, man, that's gonna take some time.

Dan: 25:02

Let it happen in God's time. And I have to believe Justin, that you know, he wanted to make it right, even knowing that some people would never forgive him.

Justin: 25:14

Yeah.

Dan: 25:15

Think about that for just a moment.

Justin: 25:18

Never

Dan: 25:18

family. There is gonna be people in your life that are never gonna forgive you. And I know that's tough, that is a hard pill to swallow because we all want to be forgiven. We all want that, that freedom of, uh, just, just being free from our past. But like I said, just a few moments ago, man, there's some things that you've done in your life that you can't undo and people are not gonna forgive you. But you still, like Zacchaeus is gotta be willing to step forward and make it right, because this is what happens guys, when Grace, when you experience that grace, this is grace, bleeding and showing through you. It's way more than confession family at this point. It's moving to restoration. See, because you don't have to prove. Transformation by knowing the Bible, you show it by going back to the people you hurt and by saying I was wrong and I want to make it right. Family. That's not weakness, that's maturity, that's freedom. That's a Zacchaeus moment right there. But I gotta ask you as we get ready to wrap this podcast up. Justin, this is where the rubber meets the road. It's one thing to admit you've caused pain. It's another thing to start naming the people who carry that pain. So here it is. Start a list. Not tomorrow, not when it's comfortable. Now. No editing, no excuses, no filters. Don't wait until you feel like it. Just pick up the pen and start writing. And don't write names based on who you think deserves it. Write names based on who was impacted, who got caught in the crossfire of your addiction, your anger, your fear, your silence, and ask yourself. Who's still bleeding from my old life while I'm out here trying to build a new one? Because step eight isn't just about fixing them. It's about freeing you, and it's not whether they'll accept your apology. It's about whether you're willing to face your truth and stop carrying the weight of silence. This list isn't about guilt. It's about grace. On paper, It's about the beginning process of making peace with your old self that you left behind. Ask yourself this. Am I willing to face this? Not because they need it, but because I need it to be free.

Justin: 28:24

I love what you said. Don't write down who you think deserves it, because let me tell you something, you didn't deserve the grace of God yet. He wrote your name in the book of life when you came to him and gave your life to him. Be honest with yourself. Take an open, honest look. Put their name on paper, and like I said. You just have to be willing to be willing. It might take time for you to make amends, but in God's time it will happen. But right now we're asking you to start owning that. You need to make amends because that's what this is about, guys. It's a tough step. It's gonna seem impossible to do. What God's asking you to do. But if we have are in Christ, if we have done the first three steps, if we have committed our care and our will over to him and we have truly surrendered, then he has given us a helper. He has placed the Holy Spirit inside of you to help you with this. And I'm telling you, he's begging with you. He's pleading with you. Let it go. Get real, get raw, get recovered.

Dan: 29:52

Fa family. You're not writing names, you're writing the first lines of restoration, that name you write down. That's not just a person, it's a step to becoming the man or woman God always intended you to be. And you know what? You may never get a chance to say sorry, and they may never accept your apology, but this list, it's your declaration. I'm not running anymore. I'm ready to make it right. And that my friends, is the beginning of freedom. Justin, is there anything you want to close with brother?

Justin: 30:40

You know, Peter denied Jesus three times. He sat at a fire with Jesus before he ascended into heaven, and three times Jesus asked, do you love me? Peter came face to face with Jesus in that moment. You know what Jesus said, then go tend to my sheep. Look. That is what we are doing. We are coming face to face with the reality that we have made mistakes, that we have hurt others, and we are saying, I still love you, not on my own, but because Christ loves me guys, I can't stress this enough. Somebody needs to hear this. If you're in the room with us, I'm telling the Holy Spirit's here every time. Share this podcast. Like, subscribe, tell others. Get the word out there that you can be rooted and recovered in Christ, and that there is life and life more abundantly. Help us share the good news that not only does Jesus Christ save, he redeems. He restores, and he grows us in that grace that we've talked about so much here.

Dan: 31:57

Amen. Amen and amen. Family, this list. It's two things. It's a mirror and it's a map. Be bold enough to face the reflection and at the same time, be brave enough to walk the road back. Until next time, my friends stay rooted, stay recovered, and let's get to work.

32:24

You are not just surviving. You are becoming, becoming rooted in truth, becoming recovered by grace, and becoming the person God always knew you could be. Thanks for joining us on Rooted in Recovered. If this episode stirred something in you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it, live it, let it take root. We'll see you next time right here where scars become testimonies and hope rises from the ashes.