Episode 20: Rooted & Recovered - When You’re Tired of Starting Over

What if your relapse doesn’t disqualify you? It’s just the beginning of your rebuild.

In this soul-piercing episode of Rooted & Recovered, Dan Pyles speaks directly to the weary, the ashamed, and the ones who’ve lost count of how many “day ones” they’ve had. This isn’t a message for the perfect—it’s for the fighters who are tired of falling, but still refuse to stay down.

If you’ve ever whispered, “I thought I was past this…”
 If you’ve ever walked into a room with your head low, wondering if anyone still believes in you…
 If you’ve ever felt like your scars scream louder than your story…

This one’s for you.

Dan doesn’t sugarcoat it—starting over hurts. But grace wasn’t built for perfect track records. It was built for restarts. For relapses. For redemption.

Key Highlights:

• Why relapse isn’t the end—it’s a doorway to transformation
• The real emotional weight of having to start over again
• How shame tries to silence you—and why grace tells a different story
• Why you're not starting from scratch—you’re starting from scars, wisdom, and grit
• The sacred power of a comeback shaped by humility and fire
• A hard but healing truth: Jesus didn’t die so you could keep a perfect record—He died because you couldn’t.

 Scriptures Covered:

• Proverbs 24:16
  “Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…”
• Lamentations 3:22–23
  “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning…”
• Romans 3:23
  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…”
• Romans 5:6
  “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”

Final Truth:

You are not weak for starting over; you’re strong because you didn’t stay down. Grace doesn’t roll its eyes when you come crawling back. Heaven celebrates every comeback, every restart, every brave step back into the light. You’re not behind—you’re becoming. This isn’t your last shot. It’s your next beginning.

Transcript

0:00

This world doesn't hand out healing. It offers quick fixes, cheap pies and empty promises, but real recovery, it takes roots. Roots that dig deep into truth, into identity, into the unshakeable grace of God. We're not here to sugarcoat the struggle. We've lived it. Addiction, shame, relapse, regret, but we've also seen resurrection. We've seen what has. Happens when broken people get anchored in something real rooted and recovered is more than a podcast. It's a battleground for the soul. A place where scars tell stories, where scripture speaks louder than shame, where freedom isn't just a word. It's a war we win daily. So if you're tired of surface level answers, if you want truth that convicts, hope that heals, and conversations that cut through the noise, you're in the right place. Welcome to Rooted and Recovered.

Dan: 1:07

Welcome to another episode of Rooted and Recovered. I'm your host, Dan Pyles. I just wanna say once again, family. I'm so thankful that I have the privilege and honor to walk this journey with you that we call recovery. Thank you so much for allowing me, uh, into your home, your, your vehicle, your ear, however you're listening to this podcast today. Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, I don't, I, it's been a while since I've done anything like this, but I just want to take just a few moments and do some housekeeping. Uh, if you find this podcast helpful. One of the biggest ways that you can support is by simply sharing this podcast with your family and friends. So if you, if you love this podcast, if you've gotten something from this podcast, please. Take just a few moments and share it with somebody that could so desperately need the life-changing story in their life. And it's nothing I'm doing or saying it's, it has nothing to do with me, but it's the spirit of God. in these episodes. Guys, we got another powerful episode today. Uh, today's episode is called When You're Tired of Starting Over. Let me guess, family, I, I'm speaking to someone who is just tired. You're exhausted. Not just physically tired, but soul tired. You're tired of the cycle, tired of the promise you made to yourself that you didn't keep. Tired of the hope that rose up in you just to fall flat again. You've lost count of how many day ones you've had. You've thrown away the cigarettes, you've thrown away the alcohol. You've thrown away the dope. You deleted that number. You uninstalled that app. You made that vow. You wrote that journal entry. You've done all the right things only to find yourself crawling back to square one more times than you care to admit. And now here you go again. Another morning, another prayer. Another attempt to believe that maybe just maybe this time will be different, but deep down, you're not even sure if you believe that anymore. Come on family. I know I'm talking to somebody because starting over hurts. Let's be honest, it, it hurts to hope again. It hurts to try again. It hurts to admit yet again that you need help. And the worst part, the shame, that voice in your head that says You should be past this by now, you're a joke. God's definitely done with you this time. People are tired of hearing you say that this time is different. You've got battle wounds, family that no one can see on your heart, on your identity, on your confidence. Every failed attempt feels like another reason to give up completely. But let me tell you something that will silence that voice of shame once and for all. You ready? You're not weak because you're starting over. You're strong because you refuse to stay down. Yeah, you might be limping, you might be dragging your past behind you. You might be starting at square one for the 10th or the hundredth time, but guess what? Family you showed up, you are here and that matters. Come on. We gotta get this clear. God doesn't get annoyed with your comebacks. He doesn't grow weary of your attempts to change. He isn't rolling his eyes when you come back to him again. Heartbroken and embarrassed and empty. You know what he does? He welcomes you every single time. Why? Because Grace was built just. For this grace was made for starting over and you've still got breath in your lungs family, then Grace is still flowing toward your life. You see, failure isn't the end of your story. It's the doorway to your transformation. Every time you start over, you are choosing faith over fear. You are choosing grace over guilt. You are choosing purpose over perfection. You see, the enemy wants you to believe that your repeated failures means that you're unworthy. but God says your return is proof of your redemption. there's power Family in your restart. There's purpose in your process, and there's grace in every gritty, painful, courageous step forward. so to the ones who tired of starting over, you're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience, from wisdom, from resilience. From grit you didn't have the last time, and you're bringing more to the table this time, not less family. So let shame sit down and be quiet. Tell guilt to lose its grip in your life and let grace today remind you of who you are A son. A daughter, a fighter, a survivor, a walking testimony that Grace still works. Family. This episode is for you, the one who has started over more times than they can count, and still has the audacity to believe that this time something can change. Yeah, you're tired. Not just tired in your body. Not just tired in your mind. Family. You're tired in your soul. Tired of failing. Tired of slipping backwards. Tired of the cycle. Sin. Shame, silence, repeat. I know family.'cause I've been there. I've done that. I know what this feels like. You're tired of believing in breakthrough only to find yourself broken again. You lost count of how many times you've whispered, I'm done. Not because you want to give up, but because you're afraid nothing will change. But I come to tell you today, God is not afraid of your repeats, and grace is not threatened by your relapses. There's a shame that comes when starting over. It's not just guilt. Family. It's humiliation. It's walking back into church, feeling like everyone knows it's showing up to your group with your head down. It's looking in the mirror and thinking, man, I really thought that I was past this. I really thought that I should be further in my recovery than I am right now. You know what makes it worse? Because you and I have had victories before. We've been clean for months, may, maybe years. We've testified on platforms. We've prayed with power. We've led people, and now here we are. Starting over again and the enemy, that stinking bum will whisper in our ears. You're a fake. You have run your witness. God's done with you. But listen to me in the name of Jesus family, none of those voices are truth because scripture. Doesn't say the righteous never fall. You know what? Proverbs 24 16 tells us though, the righteous fall seven times. Guess what? They rise again. Let that hit your soul. Falling doesn't erase your righteousness. Getting up family is what confirms it. What if God. Measures by getting back up. What if, think about this for just a moment. What if God doesn't keep score the way we think he does? What if he doesn't say, oh, well that's failure number six. Or, well, you know what? Strike three buddy, you're out. Or, ah, man, you were doing so well, but. Now I'm disappointed. Nah. What if every time you rise again, heaven throws a celebration? What if grace is louder than guilt? What if your comeback shouts louder than your collapse? See, the enemy wants your relapse to be your identity, but God wants it to be your turning point. He doesn't define you by your fall family. He defines you by his faithfulness. Remember a couple episodes we talked about Lamentations. three verses 22 and 23. It says, because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed. For his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Do you know what that means? That if you woke up today, grace woke up with you family. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience. Let's break that lie once and for all. You are not starting from zero. You're not back at the beginning. Yeah, you're starting again. But this time with more wisdom, more awareness, more truth, more grit. You know the path better this time, you'll see the trap sooner and you'll recognize the trigger quicker. And maybe the fall didn't take you out. Think about this. Maybe it taught you how to fight better. Maybe it exposed a place that still needed healing in your life. Maybe it stripped away some pride that you and I didn't know we had. Maybe it broke something off of you so that something better could be built. Family. That's not failure, that's formation. You see, picture a house with me for just a moment and I'm not a contractor at all. God didn't give me the ability to be able to build things. But picture a house under construction, the framing goes up, the roof gets built, but then a storm comes through and knocks it down. Feels like you have to start over. But if the foundation is still intact, then the rebuild doesn't start from nothing. Get this. It starts from strength. See, that's what Grace does. Family. Your identity in Christ is still there. Your foundation hasn't moved even if the walls came tumbling down. stop believing the lie that you've lost at all, that you've lost all your progress. Family. You haven't lost your progress. You've gained perspective. Maybe you need to speak this over your own life right now. This is not the end of me. I'm not who I used to be. God's not done with me. I can still recover. I can still heal. I still can become everything that God has called me to be. But here's the thing, family. Every time you start again, every time you hit your knees and say, Lord, help me. every time you walk back into the light, you are growing. Even in weakness, even in pain, even in shame, you are growing. Family. Your comeback is a weapon. Let me say this with fire. The devil should be scared to death that you got back up. Because people who have fallen and risen carry something dangerous. Family. They carry empathy. They carry authority. They carry humility. They carry a testimony. Why? Because you've seen the bottom. You've lived through the dark, and now you speak from a place of survival and surrender. That's the voice people can't ignore. That's the voice of someone who has. Been forged in the fire. So don't let starting over. Silence your voice, family. Let it strengthen it. Let it clarify it, let it ignite it. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from scars, from wisdom, from surrender, and that's where God does his best work because The gospel isn't about the ones who never fell. It's about the ones who kept getting up by grace. You see, Jesus didn't die for your perfect track record. He died because you couldn't keep one. So stop disqualifying yourself from something God has already covered. Let me ask you something honest. What if the place you've been trying to hide is the very place God is trying to heal? We carry this idea deep down that our relapses are proof that we're not worthy. We think the comeback has to be quick, clean, flawless, or guess what? It just doesn't count. But here's the truth that most people will never say out loud. The comeback often looks messy before ever looks miraculous. It's not linear, it's not pretty. And guess what? Family, let me hit you with some cold, hard truth. It's definitely not perfect, but you know what? It's still sacred. What if just, what if God can still work in the places? You think are unusable? What if he's not ashamed of your start overs? What if your moments of relapse are not your disqualification, but your invitation to deeper grace? Come on, let's be honest. We don't grow the most during our victories. We grow in the middle of our vulnerability. In the pain, in the shame, in the silence that follows a fall. That's where God whispers something new. We've got to stop believing that we only deserve grace when we're doing well. Family. That's not gospel, that's performance. Jesus didn't die so you could have a spotless record. He died because you couldn't keep one. I couldn't keep one. The Bible says that we've all fallen short of the glory of God. All of us have. The Bible says that there's not one righteous. No, not one. The Bible says that while we were still helpless, hopeless. Christ died for us. Your relapse. My relapse didn't cancel. Grace. You know what it did? Family. It just exposed where we still need it. And if you're still breathing, friend, you still have it? Yeah. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to grieve who you were. There were parts of your old self that fell easier. We talked about this couple podcast episodes ago. There was a numbness that kept you from breaking down. There was a recklessness that made you feel alive until it destroyed you. But here's the hard truth wrapped in mercy. You were never truly alive in those moments. Family. You were surviving. You were escaping, and you were lost. The grace of God just didn't come to cover your mistakes. It came to resurrect the real you, the one he saw even when you and I couldn't. So what if you flip the script instead of calling it failure, call it formation, instead of calling it relapse, call it a rebuilding. Instead of calling it the end, how about we call it evidence that God isn't finished? Because here's what we know. You're not weak for starting over. You're strong because you didn't stay down. Family. That takes more guts than pretending like everything's okay in your life. That takes way more courage than quitting. Every time you said yes to recovery again, every time you got up, even when it hurt, every time you walked back into the light, when shame said to hide, you were proving that grace still works. Family. As we get ready to wrap this podcast episode up today, this isn't the end. This isn't your last chance. This isn't your final shot. It's not the end of your story. This is the next beginning. Yeah. You might be tired. Yeah. You might be ashamed. You might be carrying the weight of failure, so it's hard to breathe. But this is something I know family, God doesn't keep count the way the world does. He's not tallying your falls. He's not disappointed that you had to start over. He's celebrating that. You still in the fight still here. Still choosing grace over guilt, still choosing hope over shame. You're not behind. You're becoming in every step forward. Even if it's from square one, family is a win for the kingdom and a loss for hell. So don't you dare give up. Don't you let shame shut you down. Don't believe the lie that it's too late, that you've done too much, or that you'll never get it right. You are living proof that God doesn't give up on people and neither should you. You've got breath in your lungs, then you've got a purpose on your life. You've got battle scars. Then you've got a testimony that someone else needs to hear. You've had to start over then you're not finished yet. Family. What a powerful podcast episode. Today we're gonna make mistakes, family. We're gonna fall, we're gonna mess up. I mean we are really gonna mess up in life. But the Bible tells us in our scripture focus today though the righteous fall. Seven times the get back up, family get up. It's time to get up. Yeah, it hurts. Yeah. It's humiliating. I've been there, I've done it. I know what it's like to have to look your family in the face and say, Hey. I relapsed again, but you know what the real winner is. Yeah, I relapsed, but I'm gonna learn from this one and I'm gonna keep pushing forward, keep moving forward, taking one step at a time, and this I can promise you family. Eventually those steps will get longer and longer. Longer because that's the power of grace. He's not finished with you and I yet. We've got breath in our lungs, family, we're breathing. Then there's a reason. I love you. I honor you. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. You know what I'm gonna tell you and tell next time. Family stay rooted, stay recovered, and let's get to work.

25:25

You are not just surviving. You are becoming, becoming rooted in truth, becoming recovered by grace, and becoming the person God always knew you could be. Thanks for joining us on Rooted in Recovered. If this episode stirred something in you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it, live it, let it take root. We'll see you next time right here where scars become testimonies and hope rises from the ashes.