46. When Your Child Sees the World - and Their Stuff - Differently, with Steph West

Have you ever looked at your child’s behaviour and thought… I just don’t get it?

With April being Autism Awareness Month, it felt like an important time to have this conversation - not just about behaviour, but about understanding how our children experience the world.

In this episode, I’m joined by Steph West, a neurodivergent social coach and founder of Starfish Social Club. Steph not only shares her professional insights, but also opens up about her own lived experience, offering a perspective that feels both honest and deeply relatable.

Together, we explore what’s really going on beneath behaviours that can feel confusing, frustrating, or even overwhelming - especially for neurodivergent kids.

We talk about why some children form strong attachments to “stuff”, and how this often points to something deeper. 

This conversation is about slowing down, getting curious, and learning to see things from your child’s perspective… even when it looks very different to your own.

You’ll Learn

• What a “challenging relationship with stuff” can look like in real life 
• Why some children form deep emotional attachments to objects 
• How anxiety, empathy, and past experiences can shape behaviour 
• Why neurodivergent kids may experience and process the world differently 
• How to support your child without needing to fix or fully understand everything 
• The importance of respecting your child’s experience, even when it feels confusing 
• How open conversations can reduce frustration and build connection

Why This Episode Matters
When we don’t understand our child, it’s easy to move into frustration or try to fix things quickly. But often, what our child needs most is to feel seen and understood.

This episode offers a gentler way to approach behaviour - one that builds connection and trust, rather than conflict.

Small Shift for Big Impact
Start by gently noticing what’s coming into your home.

Rather than trying to tackle everything your child already has, begin by slowing down or reducing new items coming in - where you can.

This might look like having simple conversations with family members, or just becoming more aware of how often things are being added.

Small shifts here can make a big difference over time.

Take the Next Step
If this conversation resonated and you’re feeling unsure how to support your child, you’re not alone.

You’re invited to book a free 20-minute call with me, where we can talk through what’s going on and find a way forward that feels right for you.

Links and Resources

Find all the info about her podcast, programs, the Starfish Social Club and book 'Social Skills is Canceled' 

• www.socialskillsiscanceled.org

Let’s Connect
Want more support? Follow Nina on Instagram or sign up for tips and updates at mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au.

Have a question or parenting challenge you'd like addressed on the podcast? Send a DM or an email.

About the Hosts
Nina is a mindful parenting coach and mum who supports overwhelmed parents to feel calmer, more confident, and more connected with their kids.

She helps parents understand the “why” behind behaviour so they can respond with more patience and less stress.

Steph West is a neurodivergent social coach and founder of Starfish Social Club, supporting autistic, ADHD, and anxious kids to build confidence and connection. With 20+ years’ experience, she combines professional expertise with lived experience and is the author of Social Skills is Canceled.

Transcript

Episode 46 When Your Child Sees the World - and Their Stuff - Differently

Nina: You're listening to your Calm Parenting Path. I'm your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum, here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident and connected with your kids. This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress and a whole lot more joy, because small shifts make a big impact and you can build the parenting life you've always wanted. If you want to see what I'm up to, follow me on Instagram mindfulparentinglifestyle. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's get started.

Nina: Welcome back to your Calm Parenting Path. I'm really glad you're here today. This podcast is a space to slow things down, breathe a little and explore parenting with more awareness, compassion and trust. Especially when things feel confusing or hard. Which is why I am so excited for our guest today. Today I'm joined by Steph West. Steph is the founder of Starfish Social Club, and she brings decades of experience supporting neurodivergent kids and adults who care for them. Her work blends deep professional knowledge with a genuine respect for kids as they are, which is something that I really appreciate. I'm so glad to have her here today and to share this conversation with you. Steph, thanks for joining us.

Steph: Thanks for having me, Nina. I'm really glad to be here.

Nina: Excellent. So, just to start off, tell us a bit about yourself and the work you do and what, I guess, led you to create the Starfish Social Club.

Steph: Absolutely. I started my professional career as a special education teacher, uh, working specifically with students that had behavioural and social challenges. Um, and so I was a teacher, I became a behaviour specialist, I became an autism specialist, I was a school administrator. Um, and I, at one point, was at a training, listening to people talk about how they run social skills groups, and I decided, oh, I'm going to do that.

Nina: Nice.

Steph: And so I did. I started my own business running social skills groups in my community where I live, um, in the U.S. in Texas. And that was 10 years ago. Wow. So I was still working full time when I started, and then it kind of took off.

Nina: I bet it did.

Steph: Um, so, yeah, so this is what I do. I do in person social skills groups. I do zoom social skills groups and I have content that is available online for people who aren't able to be in a group, um, but still want to have access to their content.

Nina: Oh, I love that. So many different ways to kind of reach so many different parents and families. Based on their particular situation. That's so amazing.

Steph: I. And I have a podcast as well. I do have, um, free content, um, podcast. I have a book, um, I have a lot of, uh, resources on my website. I have some free courses.

Nina: Fantastic.

Steph: So, yeah, really, um, my goal is for anybody and everybody to be able to get something, um, that hopefully can help either their kiddo or them to get some support.

Nina: Fantastic. What's your podcast called, Steph?

Steph: It is called Social Skills Is Cancelled, which is also the name of my book.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: So I'm. I'm not doing new podcast episodes right now, but I have over a hundred of them.

Nina: Fantastic.

Steph: So, yeah, Social Skills is Cancelled, so

Nina: that's a great name. And we'll link to that in the show notes so that parents, um, can go and find those episodes as well if they really resonate with what you say saying today, which I'm sure they will. Awesome. Now, you talk a lot about children's relationship with stuff. So when parents hear that their child has a, uh, challenging relationship with stuff, what does that usually look like in real life? And do you have any examples that you might see, especially with neurodivergent kids?

Steph: Absolutely. And just to say, I have adhd.

Nina: Okay.

Steph: So the things that I talk about when I talk about neurodivergent kids and stuff, it started through my own journey. Right. Um, I have always had a challenging relationship with stuff. But one of the things that happens is that we don't see things through other people's perspectives until someone enlightens us as to their perspective. And so it took me until I was an adult to realise that I had a

00:05:00

Steph: challenging relationship with stuff. I can remember as a child, they have these things that are hammocks that you can put stuffed animals and toys in.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: And I had two of those in my bedroom, two toy hammocks, and I had two cedar chests in my bedroom just full of, uh, books and stuffed animals and toys and just all kinds of stuff. But again, it never occurred to me that other kids didn't have this much stuff. Right. Uh, it really wasn't until the first time I went to college. I went to the other side of the country and I took so much stuff with me and just getting there and realising I didn't need most of it. And then, uh, being married and living with someone who didn't have the same relationship to stuff that I did, that was really interesting to live with someone who had a very different relationship with stuff. And I remember conversations with my mom about having people come over to Mine and my husband's apartment. And she was a little concerned about that. And so it, it really took me being in the world with other people.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: To recognise that I thought about stuff differently than other people. And I absolutely would say that I'm a recovering hoarder. Right. Um, at this point in my life, you would never know that, um, I've done a significant amount of growth and work in that area.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: But I absolutely understand the mindset and the mentality, especially from a neurodivergent perspective of where this comes from. And I think a lot of people who don't have that perspective see it as junk, trash, um, you know, and just really struggle to understand where we're coming from. And so I think that's. It's always important to realise that whatever side of the conversation you're on, the only way to move forward harmoniously is to really understand the other side.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: Um, whether you're a parent who has a kiddo who's struggling, um, whether you are the person who's struggling and you're trying to. You have a spouse who, you know.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: The only way to move forward is to really understand the perspectives of the people around you.

Nina: It's having that empathy for their situation, isn't it?

Steph: Uh, absolutely.

Nina: Putting yourself into their feet. And I guess because you were in their feet, it kind of puts you at, uh, an advantage to be able to help more compassionately and kindly with those types of situations because you know exactly what it feels like. I guess when you, you get rid of stuff, when you want to keep stuff and someone's telling you you can't have that anymore, you need to get rid of it, you're too big for that or whatever. So, yeah, I can see you noddling along and I think, yeah. Having that perspective, your personal perspective, it just adds so much more to what you can offer in regards to that. So well done for the work that you've done to kind of move on from that.

Steph: Thank you.

Nina: But I imagine it wasn't an easy journey. And being so open and sharing about it too is, um, awesome. So thank you for that.

Steph: It's a never ending journey.

Nina: Yes.

Steph: Because it's like any other struggle that anybody goes through. Right there. There are underlying reasons for it. M. And so you're not even really working so much on the stuff. You're working on the reasons, but it's like anything else. And so that's why I say I'm a recovering hoarder because it honestly wouldn't take that much for, for Me to fall back into it, I mean, to be honest. Um, and it's a, it's a continue. It's been several years at this point since I started working on it. It's been six years. Wow. Um, and yeah, I mean, it's, it's a never ending process in the world that we live in where we just have easy access to so much, you know, so many of us do. Um, and you had, you had asked about what this might look like. I was thinking of an example that is actually kind of different from the typical kid with the room overflowing. I had an adult student that I worked with several years ago, so she was mid-20s and she, everywhere she went would carry a backpack with a, an overflowing binder full of clippings and photos of her favourite anime characters.

Nina: Okay.

Steph: She would not go anywhere without it. And

00:10:00

Steph: And so every time she would come to our social group, she had it with her anytime we would go out and do things in the community, and she always had it with her. And the challenge became that she had a job. Right. She worked in a fast food restaurant. And it became an issue because when she would go to work, she would take up a table in the restaurant with her backpack, uh, because she wouldn't leave it at home. And so the employer approached her and her mom about it because now it's, it's taking up a table in a restaurant. And so it's not even just bedroom, private, close the door, nobody will know, you know, or as an adult, you know, just don't invite people over. It very easily spills out into the public. And again, it goes back to why. Yes, why do we have such an attachment to these things? But I think that's such a great example of how it's not always things we can just shut the door on.

Nina: Yeah, that's really, really interesting. And I imagine there's examples similar to that of younger kids as well. But you, you spoke about the why and I think that was gonna be my next question. So, you know, from your perspective, what's often underneath a child's intense attachment to objects, especially for neurodivergent or anxious children?

Steph: Yeah, I think, uh, there are several things that it can kind of come from. One of them that's very typical is that a lot of people who struggle with stuff, we see these objects, these items as having, we have an emotional attachment to them. Um, this is very common with people who struggle with social attachments, uh, because of autism, because of adhd, because of bullying, you know, because of whatever Reason we are more likely to form emotional attachments to things. You also see this with pets and animals.

Nina: Oh, okay.

Steph: Right. You. You hear about people who get into animal hoarding situations, and it's because it's an emotional attachment. Stuffed animals are probably the most common. Regardless of age. It doesn't matter how old somebody is. A stuffed animal is the most common attachment that human beings form to stuff. But it's, you know, an object doesn't judge, it doesn't argue. It doesn't tell us that we're bad or that we're wrong. It's. It's always there, and it's. It bears some sort of comfort. It also could have some symbolism to it in terms of who gave it to us or the time in our life that we were in when that thing arrived. So that's one of the biggest reasons is there's an emotional attachment to it. Uh, that most of the time, people who are emotionally attached to stuff are struggling to emotionally attach to people.

Nina: Right. Okay.

Steph: Another reason that it may happen is if we are operating in a scarcity mindset, we tend to hold onto things. Um, so there will even be people who will hoard broken pencils. Right. Like, things that anybody else would look at. And why are you even holding onto that? Sometimes it comes from a scarcity mindset. It could be an adult holding on to clothes.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: Maybe even clothes that don't fit anymore.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: But it's. Sometimes it's that feeling of, well, what if I let it go and then I need it? Or, um, what if I run out of money and can't buy more of it?

Nina: It makes sense. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Like, it's a logical way for the mind to go through in that situation.

Steph: Yes. M. And it's. Scarcity mindset is often tied to anxiety. So if you have a kiddo who's struggling with anxiety, they. They tend to go together. And so they're holding onto things because they don't want to risk not having it if they decide they need it or want it.

Nina: M. Yeah. Yeah.

Steph: It might not even be, you know, the need. Another one that's really interesting that I personally have is. Let me see how best I can explain this. This is. I find this difficult to explain to people who don't experience it. So let me see how best I can explain it.

Nina: Okay, we'll give it a go.

Steph: Neurodivergent people. There is a belief that especially autistic people are not empathetic.

00:15:00

Steph: Um, um, sometimes that they. There's a belief that they don't even have the ability to experience and feel empathy, and that is absolutely false.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: What does happen is often autistic people will see something happening and they will feel the feelings and they. They don't know what to do with those feelings. They don't know how to help the other person. They don't know how to support the other person or celebrate. Right. They don't know how to celebrate another person. So it is absolutely not the case that they don't have empathy. It's that they don't know how to show it often.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: And so one of the interesting ways that this will sometimes appear, and I experience this, is that we often feel empathy for inanimate objects, but especially objects that we think other people don't care about.

Nina: Yeah. Okay.

Steph: Okay. So going back to the broken pencils.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: When I was probably third grade or so, I decided that my favourite colour was going to be the colour beige because I knew that no one else in the world would choose beige as their favourite colour. Okay. And, like, it's actually making me a little bit emotional even thinking about it.

Nina: Yeah. I can imagine.

Steph: Because this is a real thing that we experience where we are drawn to things that we think other people discard and don't value. And so even again, back to the people who hoard animals. Right. They're often animals that have been abandoned or are injured or ill. And so we tend to hold on to and hoard things that we are worried that other people don't value. You might have kids who refuse to get rid of an article of clothing that's torn or stained or doesn't fit anymore, even. I used, uh, to be a triathlete and I raced very often. And you get these safety pins to put your, your bib on your shirt. And I am incapable of throwing a safety pin away because it has value. Uh, not monetary. It's not worth anything.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: But it serves a purpose.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: And so I have a stash of safety pins that I just, I can't fathom throwing them away because they, they have a job, they have a purpose, they have value.

Nina: Yes.

Steph: Um, and so same. You know, I have a pile of pens I. Way more than I need. But why would I throw it away when it has value? It's a pen. It writes.

Nina: Look, I think you've explained that so, so well, because the way that you've explained it and with the background as well, these kids want to show empathy to something. Uh, but they don't know how to show it to people. So they want to show it to something that maybe hasn't had empathy before. And as you were talking, my son, he gets quite anxious about things and his favourite colour is brown. And I often wondered why his favourite colour is brown. And now, you know, maybe it has something to do with what you're talking about.

Steph: That's very interesting.

Nina: My other two kids, their favourite colours are rainbow. They can't even choose their favourite colour.

Steph: And that's like me.

Nina: I like all the bright colours in the sky. Um, but his favourite colour is brown. And so that's really interesting that you said your favourite colour was beige. And I think, yeah, that might be why. Because he knows that no one else likes that colour and he wants to, you know, be kind to that colour and, you know. Yes, as weird as that might sound, it makes sense in the way that you've described it.

Steph: Yes, it does sound very weird.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: But, uh, hopefully it sounds weird until I explain it exactly. So, yeah, I'm. I'm glad that my explanation resonated because, yeah, it. To other people, that kind of hoarding in particular, I think is completely illogical and irrational. But if you can see it through that perspective, we're trying to save things that no one else is trying to save.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: Um, and. And obviously there's a bit of a mirror there. Right. We have felt abandoned, left out, you know, misplaced. And so we're trying to keep other things in the world from. From experiencing that same.

Nina: Yeah, and in one way, that's the best kind of empathy, isn't it? I mean, not to write empathy, but it's so fruitful and it's so empowering to them to be able to finally do this thing that's expected for them in social situations, but they can't do it. But then being able to show it in other ways and yeah, I think sharing that with parents and letting them

00:20:00

Nina: know and reframing, I think it's so powerful and I think it can make such a big difference on parents experience and the child's experience just having that common understanding about it.

Steph: Absolutely.

Nina: So that's really, really clever. Really, really cool that you've been able to verbalise it that way. So hope, uh, that any parents or kids or, you know, family members listening can really relate to that and really get an understanding of why these little kiddos do and experience things the way they do. I guess another question to think about is how can parents tell the difference between a phase, A, uh, coping strategy, or a situation where they might actually need extra support and flexibility around their connection with stuff.

Steph: I don't know that I really think there is a difference between any of those things. I think whatever your child is feeling and experiencing or you. That's what you're feeling and experiencing. That's what they are feeling and experiencing.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: And so I think my answer to that is it doesn't matter which one it is. I will say in my life, I, um, have a person who always, no matter what I've been thinking or feeling or experiencing, just says okay. Just is supportive of whatever. As I mentioned, I have adhd. I have some wild ideas sometimes about, um, I'm very much an idea generator. And so sometimes I've just got wild ideas. Just always says okay. And the next day I'm. I may be completely off it. I, you know, like, nevermind. That's. I can't believe we were even talking about that.

Nina: But he acknowledges it in the moment, which I think is the main thing, isn't it validates it.

Steph: Yeah, absolutely. I think especially a child who's neurodivergent, I would say support them.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: You don't have to agree with what they think or how they feel. You don't have to understand what they think or how they feel. But I think we do have to respect people's experiences. And I think that goes for just people in general. I think the day I do a TED Talk, it will be about how we can save the world by respecting other people's experiences.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: And so that would be the number one thing I would say, especially to parents, but also spouses, coworkers, anybody, is you don't have to like what other people think or feel. You don't have to agree with it. But I do think we have to respect it. Uh, and the only way that we can do that is by openly talking about it.

Nina: I love that. Yeah, I think that's so beautiful. And I think we often think we have to be on the same page as someone else to be able to have that kind and caring relationship, but we don't. We can have different opinions, different thoughts, different experiences, but just recognising that they're different and then moving on, um, you know, accepting it and being able to have that great relationship with the other person.

Steph: And I think there's. There's a concept called the double empathy problem. And it refers to the fact that in, in most situations, neurodivergent people are seen as the problem. And so even in my realm, in the world of social skills, the traditional approach to social skills is that the neurodivergent person is doing it wrong. And the double empathy problem basically says that this should be going both ways. Um, everything should be going both ways. And so instead of putting all of the focus on the neurodivergent person to be different, it should be going both ways. And so that's what I try to do in everything that I do is I really want to help my students understand the neurotypical social world, because that's the world we live in. And so it's important that they understand it. But I also really want their parents to understand them and their teachers to understand them and them to understand each other. Um, because I. I think it's because neurodivergent people are the minority. We are often just expected to kind of do what everybody else is doing, toe the line. But I. Yeah, yes, yes. But, uh, but I think it's. Again, every single person perceives the world differently. We all do. And the only way to know what someone else experiences is to have that conversation.

Nina: Exactly.

Steph: There's. There's no other way to know how other people experience the world, um, other than talking about it. Uh, and so, yeah, I think it's even, uh, you know, it's obviously common for neurodivergent kids to have neurodivergent

00:25:00

Steph: parents. Right. There's this whole hereditary aspect to it.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: But if even among that, you still have very different perceptions and experiences.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: And so just because a child and a parent are autistic doesn't mean they understand each other's experiences because they're not the same person.

Nina: Exactly.

Steph: So I, I think it's for everybody just to be able to have these conversations and understand someone else's experience of the world.

Nina: Yeah. And I think the more we speak about it in this kind of setting, you know, in podcasts, sharing it on social media, making it more common that we do talk about this. And it is an open thing, and it's not something that needs to be shamed or it needs to be talked about in whispered comments, you know, on the corner. The more open we can be about it, the better it will be for everybody, right?

Steph: Yes, absolutely.

Nina: Um, and I guess on that kind of topic, parents can sometimes feel embarrassed or judged or isolated because of how their children, um, relate to stuff, but then also, you know, some other facets of their neurodiversity. What would you want them most to hear after this conversation today and kind of take home about those feelings of embarrassment or feeling judged or isolated?

Steph: I want to preface this by saying, I'm not a parent. So I, I try to be mindful of not coming across like I'm telling parents what they should do because I'm not a parent. I do think I grew up as a difficult child. I, um, wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult and I had behaviour problems. I had just all kinds of stuff going on, especially at home. And I think the longest relationship a parent will have is with their child. Right. With the people in their immediate family, spouse, child, not the people you are running into in public. And so I think preserving the relationships inside the nuclear family should be the priority as much as possible. There's also going back to my example of my student who had the backpack and the binder. The way that I support my students with social stuff is I help them understand the social consequences of the choices that are being made. So, for example, this student with her binder, you can absolutely keep taking this to work if you want to. You are most likely going to lose your job if you do that. Um, so it's your choice, but I need you to understand the social consequences of this choice. And so it's the same if we're talking about hygiene, which, uh, is a really big topic. Uh, it's the same if we're talking about how we talk to other people, whether we're even talking to other people, you know, whatever topic we want to take. I see my job as helping my students understand the social consequences of it. And then they get to make their own choice. They can decide whatever they want to do. So if it's a situation where a child's relationship with stuff is having an impact on the family, that's a conversation that needs to be had again with everybody sharing their perspective. Because, yeah, everybody's coming at it from a different perspective, but that child won't be able to do anything differently if they don't understand how it's affecting other people.

Nina: And like you mentioned at, uh, the start of our conversation, they need to be told that. Well, they may m. Need to be told that because they can't see it from someone else's perspective.

Steph: Yes.

Nina: So that's why that conversation piece is vital. Yeah.

Steph: Yes. Most neurotypical people understand from a pretty young age the concept of everybody having a different perspective, different thoughts, different feelings.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: Neurodivergent people sometimes never really understand that. And so in my opinion, this is why a lot of our kids struggle so much when, when they hear no, uh, because they weren't expecting to hear no. If I Want to eat another cookie? If I want to stay up late, if I want to go, you know, to the park, I'm in a. Yes. Mindset. Uh, like I'm in a, you know, let's do this. And so when someone else has a different thought about that, that's confusing.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: And I think that's why so many of our kids struggle with being told no is because they don't understand the other person's perspective and that it's different.

Nina: That's such a good point.

Steph: And so, yes, there's no way for your neurodivergent kiddo to know how their choices affect you unless

00:30:00

Steph: you have that conversation with them. Um, right there. There's no way for them to know. Especially if they're younger or especially if this concept of other people's perspectives is just difficult for them. We just assume so much, don't we? So much.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: We assume everything's about us. We assume that, you know, things are negative. We assume that, um, um, people know exactly what we're thinking and how. We just assume so much. And I think it's again, TED talk pending. Just have conversations with each other about everything. Everything. Just understanding that nobody knows what you're thinking unless you tell them.

Nina: Beautiful.

Steph: And I think we, we spend way too much time assuming that.

Nina: Yep.

Steph: You should know how I feel about that.

Nina: Yeah. Can't you tell? Yeah.

Steph: Yes. Or you're old enough to know.

Nina: Yes. That's a good one, isn't it? You're old enough to know this. Why don't you know this already? Yep. One question I always ask my guests at the end of an interview is one small shift that can create a big impact for parents supporting kids who have these challenging relationships with stuff. I feel like you might have already told us, but if you have any other comments that you'd like to add to a, uh, small shift that parents can make, I'd love to hear it.

Steph: When it comes to the topic of stuff, the best place to start is with what's coming in. So let everything that's already in, Let it be. Stop things from coming in.

Nina: Mhm.

Steph: Starting right now. Stop bringing things in. With kids, this is very challenging because you're not the only person responsible for things coming in, especially around birthdays, holidays. Right. But this, to me is the best place to start if you want to support your kiddo with stuff is how can you help them from having more come in? Beautiful. And then once we have systems in place for that, we can start to work on what we already have.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: But that means conversations with grandparents. That means conversations, you know, especially if you have a split household with maybe parents who aren't living together. I mean, it's helping everybody understand that we are trying to do what's best for this child. And this child struggles with stuff, and in order to help them with that, we have to stop bringing in so much stuff.

Nina: Yeah.

Steph: I don't have anxiety about many things in life, but I get so uncomfortable when people give me things. And of course, in our world, that's one of the best ways people have for showing that they care about you and that they're thinking. Right. Is to give little gifts. And it. Oh, my gosh, it's so difficult for me to handle. I don't want to. Please don't give me anything for my birthday. For hot.

Nina: Huh?

Steph: Like, please just don't.

Nina: And. And people's reaction is, but why not? I want to give you something.

Steph: You know, I am generally upfront about it, and I will say I am a recovering hoarder. Please do not add anything to what I'm already working through. I generally am just upfront and honest about it, but it does. It hurts people's feelings even. A couple days ago, I had moved and my mom asked me for my address, and I said to her, my mom loves. She's a gift giver. And I said to her, I will give you my address as long as you promise not to send me anything. And I was very serious about it. Please do not send me anything. Um, so I have to have my own boundaries around it. But if it's a child, they're not able to do that. They're not able to have their own boundaries about it. And so as the parents, we have to be the ones to help with that.

Nina: Yeah. Beautiful. I think that's a really good place to start. Okay. So did you want to talk about your social club? Because I saw there was an option to start a social club. Would you like to talk to that in case people in Australia want to do it too?

Steph: Yes. And Australia is my favourite country in the world, so I would love to have more of me in Australia.

Nina: Cool.

Steph: So I do have an option for people who want to do something like what I do. It's not a franchise, so it's actually not tied to me at all. But I have one option where I can help with business coaching if there's somebody like me is sitting in an audience thinking, I want to do that. Yeah, I have an option for business coaching for a year where I can help people start and run their own club like mine. Like I said, I. In a couple months it will be my 10 year anniversary.

Nina: Wow.

Steph: I've been doing it for a while. And then I have an option where people can

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Steph: licence the curriculum that I teach, which I created. It's my own curriculum.

Nina: Fantastic.

Steph: It's copyrighted. So I have an option where people can, um, get licenced to teach my curriculum and so people can do one or the other or both together.

Nina: What a fantastic offering.

Steph: Um, so if there are people who already are working with kids and just don't know what to do for social, that's where my curriculum is really helpful. If there's people who are like, I really want to start a business doing this, then that's where the coaching comes in.

Nina: Fantastic.

Steph: Yeah, I, I would love for what I do for everybody in the world to have access to it. I think it's, it's the coolest thing I've ever done.

Nina: I love that. And I, I can see, I can see your passion coming through for what you do and I think I just, I wanted to share that particular part of your business because I'm sure there's parents out there that would love to get involved in something that is going to help their kids and start a little community somewhere around Australia. And, and so I really wanted to make sure we touched on that, um, in our chat today because it's such a great service that you offer. So that's fantastic.

Steph: I actually get quite a few emails from people in Australia.

Nina: Oh really?

Steph: And even on the podcast, I think it's my number three country.

Nina: Wow.

Steph: It's us, Canada and then Australia. So it's interesting. And I know you guys have the ndis. Yes. Right. And like we don't even have anything like that here. So my programme is all private pay, so to have it in a place where it's paid for. Oh my gosh, that. Yeah. Yeah.

Nina: Amazing. I just think deporting families with neurodivergence, I think now that it seems to be a lot more mainstream, a lot more common, a lot more talked about and so having opportunities to help whenever we can, I think is, is great. And I honestly think that soon it's neurodivergent is going to be more prevalent than neurotypical and it's going to switch. I actually, I do think that's what's going to happen in the future only because we're more aware of it now and we know what it entails. Not that there's more, but we just know more about it now. So, yeah, that's my prediction for the future.

Steph: M. Yeah.

Nina: All right, well, are, uh, you on social media? Where can people follow you and find out about your book and things like that?

Steph: The website would probably be the best and the website links to everything else.

Nina: Well, I'll pop the link in the show notes so people can find you there. Subscribe to anything. Look up your book, look up starting a starfish social club, and I think that will be great. Well, thank you, Steph. It has been lovely chatting to you today, and I really think that you would have made some impressions on families that are listening to be able to make some changes. And if you're listening, thank you for being here. If this conversation resonated, I hope you'll take a moment to notice what landed for you and maybe offer yourself a little extra kindness today. Parenting is complex, and you're doing the best you can with what you have. If you found this episode helpful, feel free to share it with another parent who might need it. Or come say hello over on Instagram. Until next time, take care and I'll see you back here on your calm parenting path.

Nina: Thanks for listening to youo Calm Parenting Path. I am so glad you're here and I hope this episode gave you something new useful to take into your parenting journey. If you'd like to dive deeper, sign up to my mailing list@mindfulparentinglifestyle.com for more tips and insights. Or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. I look forward to speaking with you next time on your calm parenting path.

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