Failing Forward: Lessons from the Long Jump

In this week’s mini-episode, Clare shares a touching and inspiring story about her fifth-grade daughter’s journey with long jump. Complete with triumphs, tears, and hard-earned life lessons. As Clare and Candice reflect on this experience, they discuss the importance of showing up, embracing failure, and building resilience; whether in sports, school, or spiritual growth. With insights from Michael Jordan, Elder Lynn G. Robbins, and Brene Brown, this episode is a reminder that failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s a stepping stone to becoming our best selves. 

Shownotes (clickable links)

Michael Jordan Quote and video clip

Brene Brown: the Call to Courage

Elder Lynn Robbins: Until Seventy Times Seven

Transcript

Sisters: latter-day voices website

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Transcript

Candice Buchanan:
Welcome to the Sisters Latter-day Voices podcast. Today we're having a mini episode. I'm Candice.

Clare Craner:
And I'm Clare. I want to tell you guys about my daughter's track experience. I did get permission from my daughter, which I'm excited about, so I can share this.

She's in fifth grade, and at her elementary school, there's a fifth and sixth grade track team. It pretty much lasts a month long, so it's not some crazy, year-round thing. They are total newbies to the sport.

She decided she wanted to focus on long jump, and she kept practicing for like a week or two. But then the coaches told her that if a kid really wanted to do long jump, they could only do it one time. There were three meets over about two weeks, so it was a really quick season.

She practiced long jump all the time. And in the first meet, she was able to compete in it—she was really excited, which was pretty rare for a fifth grader. In her first meet, she did long jump and took second place! But then the coaches told her, "Hey, everyone wants to do long jump too, so you only get one chance at it." She wasn’t allowed to do it at the other two meets, which I think is a bummer.

She tried out the triple jump and the standing jump, but she was still obsessed with long jump. She decided that was her passion in life. She had track practice Monday through Thursday, and then after dinner, we’d go back to the school and she’d practice long jump for at least half an hour. On weekends, too, she’d practice.

Then she asked the recess duty if she could get special permission to go to that side of the field so she could practice during recess. She really got into it. Once she sets her mind to something, there's no turning back, that’s what she's going to do.

A couple of the boys and girls got together outside of track practice and met up on a Saturday to practice long jump, too. So others joined in on her excitement. Anyway, she was becoming
 obsessed with it. Then the three meets were over. She only got to do it that one time. Since it's elementary school, they try to make it fair so every kid has a chance to go to regionals.

I think the order goes regional, district, city, but I could be wrong. For regionals, she begged her coach, "Please let me do long jump." The coach was really nice and said she could qualify for long jump at regionals. She was so excited.

She went to regionals, and once you're at that level, the top four get to move on. If you're not in the top four, you're done. She took second place: so exciting! She kept practicing on her own, and a week later moved on to district. Again, top four move on. Luckily, she took third place.

I kept telling her, “It’s okay if you don’t make it. You’re in fifth grade. You’ve only been doing this for a month. We really don’t know what we’re doing.” And we didn’t. We tried YouTubing ideas and different techniques, but it was hard because she has no formal technique at this age. So it is what it is.

She moved on to district after getting third place—super excited. Then came the final meet: city. She was really nervous, but I told her, “Hey, you qualified! This is for fifth and sixth grade girls. Just know you’re in the younger group, so whatever happens, happens. Just be proud of yourself.” I thought I did a good job setting her up for success.

We went to the city meet. I could tell she was nervous but excited. One of her friends was also able to do long jump for the boys. He ended up—I think—taking third or fourth. At the city meet, there were eight girls competing, which was the max, and she took eighth place.

She honestly didn’t have one really good jump. She was devastated. The boy who was also at the meet was excited, and his mom wanted to take a picture. She took the photo and tried to keep a brave face, but when we were walking back to the car, she broke down crying.

She felt awful about herself. She said, “Mom, in practices, I’ve done so much better. In other meets, I’ve jumped so much further. Why did I fail? I can do better.” She was completely down and felt terrible. There was no consoling her.

I tried to explain how hard she worked and that she gave it her all. I said, “I don’t know how many other kids your age at the meet practiced their event after track practice, on weekends, and invited friends to practice. Jocelyn, you really gave it your all. You did everything you could—and you succeeded.”

She was still sad. But I remembered a quote, which I butchered at the time, but now I have it written down correctly. It's from Michael Jordan:

"I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life—and that is why I succeed."

That just proves that even the greatest athletes, like Michael Jordan, don’t succeed because they never fail. They succeed because they get back up.

And I told her, “Are you going to stop because you took eighth place in one meet?” She said, “No, I really like it.” I said, “Exactly. The only way you'd fail right now is if you gave up and chose not to continue with this talent and passion.”

I told her she should be proud of her progress. We talked more about it, and she said, “I really am. And no, I’m not going to quit. I’m just really sad and frustrated with myself.” I told her, “Hey, that’s okay. That’s part of it. The only way you fail is if you give up.” I told her how proud I was, and I hope this experience taught her that even the greatest athletes fail—and that’s part of becoming a champion.

Candice Buchanan:
I love that so much. I mean, I’ve told you before—it really reminds me of a talk by Brené Brown. It was a Netflix special for a while; I don’t know if it still is.

She told a similar story about her daughter doing swim team. Her daughter signed up to do this really tough race—not because she was ready for it, but because they needed someone. While she was swimming, she thought she was doing better than she was, but she came in last. And Brené was saying how bravery and courage aren’t about succeeding at everything—it’s about showing up. Showing up and doing the difficult things, even when you know you might not succeed. That’s true courage.

Clare Craner:
Yeah, I was talking to a friend, and they said one of their sons is naturally athletic. The coach wanted him to try something new, and the kid was like, “No, I’m not going to do it.” The parents asked, “Why not?” and he said, “I just know I won’t get one of the top three spots, so there’s no point.” I thought, is that how we should look at it?

What if you try and then get better? Do you only want to do things you’re already good at? Is that the point?

Candice Buchanan:
Well, I also love the quote: “Fail fast.” Back when I was an art teacher, I would tell the kids that because a lot of them were afraid to try. Especially kids with certain personality types who want everything to be perfect—they just didn’t want to mess up. So I’d say, “Fail fast.” You’re never going to get better unless you go through that period of being bad at something.

Most things we try, we’re not going to be good at the first few times. But if you fail fast and keep going, you’ll get better quickly.

Clare Craner:
Yeah, and you can apply that to all parts of life. Just the other day, the same daughter wanted to make a treat for school. She made apple crisp, and the recipe just wasn’t great. It turned out really dry, she didn’t add enough sugar, and the apples were super tart. She was devastated again that it “failed.”

But my husband and I told her, “You know how many recipes we’ve tried that turned out awful? We just try a new one until we find something that works. It’s okay to fail—that’s part of life.”

Candice Buchanan:
It’s part of learning and growing.

Clare Craner:
Yeah, it’s part of learning. You become better because of it.

There’s a talk by Elder Lynn Robbins called Until Seventy Times Seven. It’s really cool—he talks about Nephi and how he failed a couple times trying to get the brass plates. He talks about Moses and how it took him ten attempts to finally get Pharaoh to let his people go.

What I really loved was when Elder Robbins asked, “Why didn’t the Lord intervene and help them succeed on their first try? Why does He allow us to flounder and fail in our attempts?”

Then he shares four reasons:

1. The Lord knows that these things will give us experience and be for our good.
2. To allow us to taste the bitter so we may know to prize the good.
3. To prove that the battle is the Lord’s and it’s only by His grace that we succeed.
4. To help us develop Christlike attributes that can only be refined through opposition and affliction.

Even though it’s hard to be imperfect and stumble, we all get second chances. Hopefully, we can find ways—spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional—to keep trying and learn that failure isn’t the end. It’s part of a growth mindset.

Just like my daughter’s experience, and like Moses and Nephi, we need to endure failure, pursue excellence, and try again. These are all stepping stones to becoming our best selves.

Thanks for listening—hope you have a great week!