Teaching Tips for 3–5 Year Olds at Church

 In this mini-episode, Candice shares helpful, loving, and realistic tips for teaching 3–to 5–year–olds at church. From attention spans to behavior and play-based learning, this is a great listen for anyone serving in Primary. Clare adds insight from her own experience teaching older youth and reflects on the importance of helping every child feel loved and valued. Whether you're new to Primary or need a refresher, this episode offers simple ideas to make your lessons more engaging and meaningful. 

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The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Shownotes (clickable links)

 Patricia Pinegar Quote

Transcript

Sisters: latter-day voices website

Transcript

Clare Craner
Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. I'm Clare.
Candice Buchanan
And I'm Candice.
Clare Craner
And today, Candice is going to be talking about giving tips for little kids at church.
Candice Buchanan
Yes. So specifically, I'm going to give tips for teaching little children at church, ages 3 to 5. There's a huge difference between the different ages in Primary. Today, I’m just focusing on Sunbeams—CTR 4s and 5s.

A little bit of background: I'm currently serving in the Primary presidency as the secretary. I used to teach Singing Time, and I’m a former art teacher. I taught at my kids' elementary school and taught grades one through five. In a two-week period, I taught all the kids in the school, grades one through five.

Something I noticed is there's a really huge difference in ability, focus, and attention from first grade to second grade—and again from second to third. That alone is a huge shift. Three to five-year-olds are still in preschool—some might be in kindergarten—but at that age, their attention span is very limited.

Clare Craner
Sometimes...
Candice Buchanan
...these kids.
Clare Craner
My attention span is limited, so...
Candice Buchanan
Mine too. I'm like a puppy—squirrel!

So, most of these kids won't be reading or writing much, and they won’t be able to focus for very long. There's a reason why TV shows aimed at this age range are either under 10 minutes or 20-minute episodes with two separate stories—kids this age just don’t focus that long.

They do really well with active play—doing activities, physically using their bodies as part of the learning process, and not just sitting still in a chair for 30 minutes. I think it’s easy to forget what that stage is like—even as a mom. I have four kids and we’ve been through this stage, but it’s easy to forget because kids change so quickly. I subbed recently, and I was like, oh yeah, we’ve got to keep things moving.

Clare Craner
Well, I think—
Candice Buchanan
—is—
Clare Craner
—on just speaking up really quick, I think it’s also important to note, because when I was first married, I remember having a Primary calling a couple of times, and I—
Candice Buchanan
Mhm.
Clare Craner
—was so naive as a teacher. I’d be like, “Okay, it needs to be this long, and we need to make sure we cover all this stuff.” And that’s not important—nor should it be. I was way too serious. And it’s like, okay, if it’s a five-minute lesson, it’s better to have five minutes and then pay attention than 30 minutes being awkward and too long.
Candice Buchanan
Yeah. And I’m gonna get into that too. It’s true—you just don’t know what to expect if you’re not used to teaching that age group.

So, one note before I get into specific tips: Their working memory is still developing. Working memory deals with holding things in your mind that you can’t see.

If you ask a young child to go get their shoes on, put on a jacket, grab their bag, and go to the car—that’s four things. If you tell them all at once, that’s a lot to remember. Kids ages 3 to 5 can typically keep only one or two items in their mind at a time.

According to the Cognitive Neuroscience Society, working memory peaks in late adolescence and early adulthood—which was sad to learn because I’m 39 and my memory is so bad. I need to do some memory games or something. I have to put reminders in my phone for everything, or else I forget.
 Clare Craner
But—
Candice Buchanan
Keeping—
Clare Craner
—that’s a good... that’s a really helpful tip. Because as an adult, you just forget about it and think, “Oh, this is so easy,” because you’re not in that stage. But that is a very good reminder.
Candice Buchanan
Yeah. So, keeping those abilities in mind, here are some tips for teaching kids ages 3 to 5 at church.

Tip #1: Have one takeaway—not five. There might be a ton of great ideas in the Come, Follow Me lesson that week, but if you try to teach all of them, it’ll likely go over their heads or overwhelm them.

Choose one thing you want them to remember. Ask yourself, “What will this child say if someone asks them what they talked about in class?” That’s your goal.

Tip #2: Teach that one takeaway in several different ways. Use pictures, act out a scripture, have an object lesson, draw something on the board, let them draw something, color a picture, sing a song—use variety.

Play-based learning is very effective at this age. If you can think of an activity to apply the lesson, do it. It also gives them practice taking turns and being in a classroom.

Tip #3: Behavior.

This is something I really had to learn. When I was an art teacher, I had to figure out classroom management. What do you do if one child is acting out—or several?

One thing I learned in teacher trainings is: as much as possible, focus on the good behavior and ignore the bad. I know that can seem counterintuitive, but kids at this age are just starting to learn classroom rules and how to be respectful.

Kids generally want to be good—it’s just hard for them sometimes. Sitting still and paying attention is difficult for some more than others. So highlight good behavior.

What does that look like? Praise the kids doing what you asked. Say:
 “Kate, thank you for sitting in your seat.”
 “Jackson, thank you for raising your hand.”
 “Great job waiting to take your turn, Eva.”

Instead of calling out a disruptive kid, praise the one doing well.

If you're encouraging group discussion and want kids to raise their hands, stick to it. If a kid shouts out, don’t respond to them right away. Say, “Oh, will you raise your hand, please?” and then respond when they do. Reinforce the rule.

Now, sometimes behavior can’t be ignored. Step one: Have the second teacher (since you should always have two) quietly talk to the child one-on-one, not in front of the class.

If they’re being very disruptive, they could sit out with the Primary presidency for a bit. We're always out in the hall in case a kid needs to go to the bathroom—we just make sure they get there and back safely. Sometimes, one-on-one attention helps.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Be adaptive. But the most important part of behavior management is to do everything with love.

Especially at church—these kids are so young. They’re learning to be patient. Show them they’re valued and loved no matter what.
 Clare Craner
Especially because you don’t know what’s going on in their family—
Candice Buchanan
Yeah.
Clare Craner
—life, or how consistent the parents are being. I think that’s really important.
Candice Buchanan
Yeah.
Clare Craner
Remembering that.
Candice Buchanan
And you never want to label a child as “bad.” Just let them know you’re thankful they’re there, and as much as possible, let them know that God loves them.

Some refocusing tips—if the class is getting rowdy (which can happen easily), I would do this in Singing Time or lessons:

Play a quick game. “Put your hands in the air!” Then I wait until everyone does it. Then give simple commands:
 “Do jazz hands. Wiggle your fingers. Put your finger on your nose. Touch your ears. Open your eyes really wide.” Then finish with:
 “Okay, now sit down. Fold your arms. Close your lips.”

It really resets things well. If needed, skip ahead to an activity to switch things up and help them refocus.
 Clare Craner
I feel like they should do this in Gospel Doctrine.
Candice Buchanan
I know! They really should—wake everyone up! Stretch, do some yoga.

One more note: Kids might retain more than you think.

I asked my daughter if I could share this—one of my kids is super active. Always doing sports, always moving. A few years ago, we were visiting my sister-in-law while traveling to Boise. The sister missionaries came and shared a short lesson with a video about Jesus.

Tess couldn’t sit still. She was running around, climbing on everyone. Then the missionaries asked, “What did you learn?” and kind of called on her.

She just stopped running and said, “Oh, this happened, and this happened, and this happened…” She repeated it all. Everyone was shocked. She had been listening.

I like to remember that. Even when they seem distracted, they might be soaking it in.
 Clare Craner
Mhm. And I feel like sometimes doing something active while listening helps me remember better.
Candice Buchanan
Oh for sure. When I’m exercising, my mind feels clearer and I get better ideas. There’s probably science behind that. I should look it up.
Clare Craner
I’m not saying kids should run around the whole lesson—
Candice Buchanan
No.
Clare Craner
—but I am saying they can do two things at once.
Candice Buchanan
Exactly.

Tip #4: Roll with it.

It’s very rare to plan a Sunbeam or CTR 4 lesson and have it go perfectly. Be flexible.

Maybe the kids have a question that’s off-topic, but it’s still worth answering.

Remember: the most important thing is for them to know God loves them. Even if they don’t remember the lesson, if they remember that they felt loved—that’s a win.
Clare Craner
I teach the older class, the 16–18-year-olds, and even they have a hard time paying attention for long.

We get out early because I have issues with going late, but every week I end by reminding them how much I love them, that I pray for them, and that God loves them. If they get one thing from class, I want it to be that.
Candice Buchanan
That’s awesome.

There’s a quote from Patricia Pinegar in a conference talk, and she was addressing Primary children. I think it perfectly captures how we want kids to feel in Primary:

“To the Primary children of the world, I want you to know that there are many people you don’t even know who love you and care about you, who want you to be safe, be happy, and feel peace. I love you and would want you to feel encircled about in the arms of His love.”

And I feel like that’s our goal—for Primary and for little kids: help them feel loved.

So with that, we hope you know that God loves you.

Together
Till next time. Bye!