Try Hard? Take It As a Compliment

 Candice and Clare dive into the modern-day “insult” of being called a try hard, and why they’re proudly claiming the title. From hilarious teenage slang to powerful scriptural examples, this mini episode encourages all of us to work hard, stay motivated, and ignore the critics. Whether you’re chasing goals, raising kids, or just trying to grow spiritually, go ahead and try hard. Jesus did. 

Fair Use & Disclaimer
This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Shownotes (clickable links)

Sisters: latter-day voices website

Transcript

Transcript

Clare Craner: Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. I'm Clare.
Candice Buchanan: And I'm Candice. So today we're going to be talking about being a "try hard." I just recently learned what that is—it's a term that young people are calling each other these days. I just learned about it so recently when hanging out with family. I learned about this insult. It's something teens like to sling at each other, and that is calling someone a try hard—meaning that if it’s clear they are working really hard to accomplish something, then they might be mocked by being called a “try hard.”
Clare Craner: I—
Candice Buchanan: I—
Clare Craner: I love how that's a thing—a try hard.
Candice Buchanan: I know! It seems so stupid. And I feel so old for just being like an old mom who's like, “Oh my goodness, that's so stupid that they're saying that.” But I was blown away by this because it makes no sense to me that that would be an insult. Calling someone a hard worker? Like, “Oh, you work really hard.”
Clare Craner: Good.
Candice Buchanan: Uh, try hard. Like—it just baffled me. I was like, are you kidding me?

So we were all together because our niece just recently got back from her mission, and I went around asking all of the teenagers and the two that recently graduated from high school if they had ever been called a try hard, or if this was really a thing. One niece said that her friends say it to each other jokingly, and that it's all in good fun—no one's offended. And that's fine if everyone is having a good time and it’s not really an insult. But pretty much everyone else said they had been called a try hard, and it was definitely meant to be an insult.

Thankfully, all of them were laughing about it, and they didn’t seem to be actually offended by being called a try hard—because they think it's ridiculous. So I was happy to learn that. But apparently, it’s used in school a lot and thrown at kids who get good grades on tests or projects they worked hard on. Basically, anytime a kid is excelling, they could be called a try hard. It's also used in sports and training camps.

Keep in mind, all of my nieces and nephews go to different schools in four different cities and two different states. So I don’t think it’s just one area—I think it’s just one of those things right now. One niece said she got called it a lot, but she graduated with a scholarship, so she’s like, “I don’t feel bad about it.” One of my nephews said he was called a try hard recently at a basketball camp, and he laughed it off. I mean, he’s a happy, confident kid, and he was just laughing, saying like, “Of course I’m trying hard—I want to get better.”

But when it comes to—
 Clare Craner: This—
Candice Buchanan: —my—
Clare Craner: —is just so—
Candice Buchanan: —I—
Clare Craner: —weird to me. I can’t—
Candice Buchanan: —know—
Clare Craner: —get over that this is a thing.
Candice Buchanan: I know! It honestly is just crazy to me. I’m like, why would that be an insult? And also, it just seems kind of desperate. Like, if you're calling somebody else a try hard as an insult, then it just comes off as very insecure. Like, are you just insecure that you’re not working hard enough? I don’t know. Because why on earth would you hold back from going after what you want or doing a good job on something?

Now, all of the gospel principles apply here. I don’t want my kids to be the type of people who succeed at all costs, even at the expense of others, or be so driven toward a single goal that they lose sight of other important things. But I definitely want my kids to try hard and work hard to accomplish their goals. I hope that when they sign up for something, they give it their best effort. I hope they don’t hold back for fear of judgment from others. I hope they don’t quit just because they aren’t the best either.

Because I think sometimes that can be in play: “If I’m not the best at something, then I just won’t try,” or, “I know I’m not as good as others right now, so I’ll just give up.” But the only way to improve is by working hard and being self-motivated to accomplish your goals.

So I have some examples from the scriptures—and one example from my own life—of how this applied and how it was a learning moment for me.

So first, my story: When I was in high school, every year the senior and junior girls would play a Powderpuff football game. It was just one game—flag football. A fun event once a year where the juniors would play the seniors. We’d make t-shirts, and some of the boys who played football would coach us for the night. It wasn’t super serious. It was fun. Most of us didn’t really know how to play, but we were just enjoying it.

I remember I was on defense, and this senior girl—who was pretty fast—got the ball and started running downfield for a touchdown. There was a lot of space, and I was running after her, but the distance between us kept growing. Eventually, I just stopped running—and she ran down and scored a touchdown.

We weren’t on an actual football field, but it was still a pretty big field. When I went to the sideline, my friend—who was one of the coaches—asked, “Why did you stop running?” I said, “I don’t know—she was faster than me.” And he just looked disappointed and said, “Even if she’s faster, you don’t quit. You have to keep running.”

It wasn’t a big deal—the game wasn’t serious—but I remember being disappointed in myself and thinking, “I should’ve kept running, even if she was faster. Why did I stop trying?” You can’t just quit. And it’s a small thing, but I’ve remembered that from time to time. Like, “Okay, I’m going to keep running—metaphorically—for whatever I’m going after, even if I might fail. I want to try hard.”
 Clare Craner: And that just acknowledges effort over perfection.
Candice Buchanan: Yes.
Clare Craner: We all fall short. So no matter what, we just humble ourselves, keep trying, and acknowledge that we’re all going to—
Candice Buchanan: Yeah—
Clare Craner: —fail. We're all going to fall short. So let’s just keep trying.
Candice Buchanan: And I think, as a mom, I want to be an example of that for my kids. I don’t want to quit—I want to keep trying things and work hard and hopefully be an example of that. I know I don’t do that all the time, but that’s what I want.

So, one of my daughters plays soccer. She’s had seasons where they’ve done really well and won most of their games. But she had one season in particular where I think they were playing at a higher level, and it was rough—they lost almost every game. It was disheartening.

But one time in the winter, they were playing indoor soccer. The games are shorter—like 40 minutes—with no timeouts. The ball just bounces off the wall and comes back in. So they’re fast-paced games. Her team was winning—like 11 to 2. It was bad. But the other team worked so hard. I remember after the game telling her, “Hey, you guys did great—so good job. But I’m also super impressed with the other team, because even though there was no way they were going to win, none of them gave up. They were still working super hard the entire time.”

And I think that’s really impressive—to not give up. I hope that even when you're losing, you're still trying. It’s not surprising that the people who work hard and don’t give up are the ones who eventually succeed.
 Clare Craner: Yeah.
Candice Buchanan: So here are some examples of try hards in the scriptures. And basically, all of the examples in the scriptures are people who tried hard. But I tried to think of those who not only worked hard, but also faced opposition and were mocked for it.

Here’s just a few:

• Nephi—his brothers, in their own way, mocked him for refusing to give up when tasked with seemingly impossible things: getting the plates from Laban, fixing his bow, building a boat, leading a people.
• Abinadi—he prophesied before King Noah and his wicked priests, was mocked, imprisoned, and killed.
• Samuel the Lamanite—literally had arrows thrown at him while preaching.
• In the Bible: Noah built a boat while being laughed at.
• Moses led the Israelites out of slavery and through the wilderness.
• Paul preached and planted churches while facing intense backlash.
• And of course, Jesus Christ—He is the ultimate example. He was mocked, ridiculed, misunderstood, and still committed fully to the Father’s will.

So, the scriptures are full of try hards. But if you look at any successful person today, they didn’t get there by sitting around and laughing at others. Steph Curry didn’t get into the NBA at 6'2" by making fun of people—he put in the effort.

And I think this applies to adults, too. It’s easy to say, “Oh, these ridiculous kids mocking people for trying hard,” but if you’re posting rude comments online, then you’re doing the same thing.

I don’t get on social media much, but I’m trying to more because of this podcast. There’s this super cute young mom who posts modest fashion tips and outfit ideas for the new tank-top garments. Everything she posts is uplifting. And I was so surprised to see tons of rude comments from members of our own religion. That’s crazy to me.

If you’re someone posting mean comments, then you’re more like the people who mocked Christ than someone who’s Christlike. Jesus never mocked anyone for trying hard. Everything He did came from love.

So basically, to the kids:
 Please be a try hard. Ignore anyone mocking you. Their judgment is probably rooted in insecurity. Keep working hard.

To the adults:
 Keep standing up for good things. Be good examples. Ignore the loud, reckless voices online. The mean people are a small minority.
 Clare Craner: It’s definitely easier to coast through life and go on autopilot. It’s for sure harder to be a try hard spiritually or in any goal. But I honestly want to be a try hard. So maybe my goal is to be called one.
Candice Buchanan: Okay—that should be our goal for the year!
Clare Craner: Yeah—
Candice Buchanan: We just have to—
Clare Craner: —a person—
Candice Buchanan: Oh, I love it.
Candice Buchanan: Well, that’s all—
Clare Craner: With—
Candice Buchanan: —for today.
Clare Craner: Yeah.
Candice Buchanan: We hope you guys can be called a try hard too.